


The Fools' Journey

by sweetstuff



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Criminals, Anxiety Attacks, Awkward Sexual Situations, Blood and Injury, Bonding, Childhood Trauma, Depression, Drug Use, Drug Withdrawal, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Found Family, Gunshot Wounds, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Minor Character Death, Murder, Nightmares, No Superhero stuff - but Klaus is a little psychic, Non-Sexual Intimacy, On the Run, Past Child Abuse, Past Domestic Violence, Past Gang Violence, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Sexual Abuse, Past Suicide Attempt, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prostitution, Road Trip, Slow Burn, Soulmates - lowkey tho, Theft, all that sweet gay fluff, basically never expect a sex scene okay? ever, hand holding, no cellphones/limited tech as in canon, suggested temporary disordered eating behavior
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:53:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 30
Words: 323,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23676433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetstuff/pseuds/sweetstuff
Summary: After his release from prison on a manslaughter charge, Diego tries to leave behind the life he adapted to survive on the inside. He finds himself drawn to a beautiful and peculiar sex worker named Klaus in a local bar, and when danger strikes Diego makes a decision that will have them both running for their lives.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Luther Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Hazel/Agnes Rofa
Comments: 364
Kudos: 313





	1. Book One

**Author's Note:**

> ♥ I know the tags make this fic sound SO DARK, but I promise it's no where near as disturbing as the tags make it sound. They are just there just in case someone has specific triggers. It's no worse than like, an episode of Law & Order: SVU. Most of the fucked up stuff (outside of bloody murder, that's there and in detail, several times) is all past trauma stuff that's only mentioned as character backstory. This is PRIMARILY a love story! 
> 
> ♥ This fic is LONG. So very long. I currently have 200,000 words of it written, with another projected 100,000 to add to it for a third "book." The story is in 3 arcs which I will call "books." They are supposed to feel kind of like seasons of a show, and the series will have 3 books. I will post the 16 chapters I currently have finished at a rate of 1 per week, and hopefully in that 16 weeks I will be able to finish (or at least come close) to finishing the third book. Either way, there should be a pretty solid stream of updates for MANY months, no worries! 
> 
> ♥ The first chapter is a story illustration created by c0ffeebee! Jump to the next chapter for the story.
> 
> ♥ Edited to say - Season Two? We don't know her. Forget everything you learned about these characters from that season because it does not apply here whatsoever.

**THE FOOLS' JOURNEY**

**Book One:** _The Tower_


	2. The Tower: One

_** August 29th, 11:43pm ** _

As far as bars go, Sharp Shot was one of the seediest on this side of town. It took ‘dive bar’ to a whole new level, being a notorious hangout for the roughest sorts - ex-cons, drug dealers, prostitutes, all manner of junkies and tweakers. You could say it was morally ambiguous to even set foot there, given the company. The jukebox music was terrible and dated, the food was even worse, but at least all the drinks were dirt cheap and strong - and nobody was going to question you about your past here. But the bar also had Klaus, which is why Diego came here once a week even though he wasn’t much of a drinker. 

Klaus was different than anyone Diego had ever seen. He was colorful and lively, like so many people in the city, but Klaus was elevated in a way that both his bright look and bold personality effortlessly took over the room. Every Friday night for the lasttwo months Diego would come into the bar, order one or two drinks that he would sip on all night, and discreetly watch Klaus do his thing. Klaus’ body was for rent and he flaunted it, heavily flirting, sitting on the laps and touching the faces of men that could be potential ‘clients.’ Diego had no interest in that aspect, he was never going to buy his company. He just liked to look, and tonight was going to be the last time he ever got to do so. 

Tonight he ordered a gin and tonic, swirling the drink with the little plastic sword stabbed into a lemon slice instead of actually drinking it. He was too busy watching Klaus sit on the edge of the pool table, crossing his long, leather-clad legs and flirting with a biker that was trying to make a trick shot, but Klaus was distracting him. It was hard to not be distracted with the way Klaus’ too-small tye-dye shirt rode up and his leather pants hung low, exposing sharp hips and a toned midriff that even Diego couldn’t help but let his eyes linger on. Not that he had a lot of experience in being attracted to men, but nevertheless, he was enamoured by the way Klaus moved, the way he dressed, the fading pink streaks in his messy, curly hair and the bright blue polish on his nails. Diego got the impression that Klaus was into breaking gender expectations, among other unique mannerisms and idiosyncrasies that Diego secretly adored about him.

His thoughts drifted to the duffle bags packed in his car, about his plan to get out of the state in the next couple of days. It’s not something he wanted to do, but he _had_ to, to escape certain _expectations._ When Diego was 17 he did something really, really bad, and he had paid the consequences. Bluntly, he was convicted of voluntary manslaughter, tried as an adult and sentenced to eight years in prison. While he was locked up he’d joined a prison gang, mostly for protection, but also because once the gang wanted you in, you didn’t really have a choice. His reputation had preceded him, it took no time at all for him to be initiated as a member of the _Reyes Lobos_ gang. By the end of his sentence, he’d become one of the most trusted members, held on a pedestal above others for his impressive brutality and strength. Diego had broken a lot of other inmates’ bones in prison, mostly by orders, but he never wanted that legacy to follow him once he got out. Unfortunately, that’s not really how gangs work, and even after his release three months ago, he was still under their thumb. He wanted out, he was not going to do their bidding anymore, even if he had to make a run for it. The last eight years of his life had already been devoted to a lifestyle he never wanted to lead, he wasn’t going to spend the rest of his life being ‘the muscle’ for those fucking monsters anymore. The only way you leave the gang is in a black bag though, so he knew that he would never stop being hunted. Blood in, blood out.

“I think I’m going to start charging you for window shopping,” Klaus said with a wink, snapping Diego to attention. 

Klaus was leaning over his table across from him, resting on his palms on the wood so his face was almost at Diego’s level. He was somehow even more beautiful up close - glittery black eyeshadow rimmed his sparkling green eyes, a youthful, mischievous smile on his lips that made Diego weak. He blushed immediately, frowning and looking at the table. Klaus had never spoken to him before. Not many people did - he knew he looked the part of a big, surly gangbanger and it generally kept people away. Apparently Klaus had no fear, not even shying away after Diego looked uncomfortable.

“Don’t be scared, I only bite if you want me to,” Klaus purred, reaching to touch Diego’s hand resting on the table. Diego jerked it away and frowned harder. 

“I’m not interested,” he grumbled, refusing to look up at him. He heard Klaus chuckle.

“Mm’kay, tough guy,” Klaus said, and Diego could hear the disbelief in his voice but he tried to ignore it. “Whenever you get the stones to ask me, you know where to find me.”

Diego did look up then, if only to frown directly at him for the challenge, but he watched Klaus’ face go from flirty to panicked in a split second. Klaus was looking at the bar entrance with scared eyes, so Diego whipped around to see who was coming in. Oh, right, Diego recognized him. It was Klaus’ fucking pimp, of all things. Klaus had never looked scared of him before, though. 

“Uhh, we will continue this later,” Klaus said with a hushed tone, turning and hurrying back over to the pool table to grab his coat like he was expecting to leave.

Diego watched the pimp cross the bar and head straight for him. There was no way Klaus wasn’t in trouble; Diego could tell by the way the pimp grabbed him by the elbow and said something harsh in his ear that he was angry at Klaus. The impulse to knock this guy out was strong, but Diego had no business interfering. He watched the pimp steer Klaus out of the building by the death grip on his elbow, the look on Klaus’ face more fearful than ever. 

He had the sickening feeling Klaus was about to get his ass beat, there was no other explanation for the way he was being handled. It was ridiculous, but Diego felt like he needed to _do_ something. He didn’t owe anything to Klaus, knew it wasn’t his place, but he also had grown attached in the last few weeks. After a few moments of trying to talk himself out of it, Diego gave up, slammed his whole drink and got up to investigate where Klaus had been taken.

It probably looked suspicious for Diego to get up moments later and leave, so he shoved his hand in his jacket pocket and pulled out a pack of smokes. He put one between his lips and pushed through the doors, lighting it once he stepped outside into the dark. There was an alley to the right of the bar, and Diego figured it was the most likely place Klaus was taken. He listened hard as he crept quietly along the dirty brick wall, only hearing the shitty classic rock echoing out of the bar until he got right to the edge of the building. He didn’t need to look around the corner to recognize the sound of someone getting their ass kicked, exactly as he suspected. 

Diego’s heart started to race as soon as he peeked around the corner, seeing the pimp close his fist and strike Klaus across the face. He shouldn’t get involved, he should just walk away and keep his hands clean, but the emotion inspired by hearing Klaus’ whimper and broken apologies was too strong. He was definitely going to get involved.

“ _What did I fucking tell you? What did I fucking tell you, Klaus? You’re fucking useless to me!_ ” the pimp growled in his face, wrapping his hand around Klaus’ throat and slamming him against the brick. “ _Do I not take good enough care of you? You wanna be back on the fucking street, getting raped and robbed every other night? Is that what you want, you stupid fuck?!_ ”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Klaus whined, his voice strangled by the hand around his throat. His nose was bleeding, eyeliner streaking down his cheeks with the tears, shaking hands clutching at the one around his neck.

“ _Hey!_ ” Diego shouted, walking confidently up the alley toward the scene and flicking the unsmoked cigarette on the ground. 

The pimp was at least half a foot taller than him and probably at least 50 pounds heavier, but there was no way he was as strong. Diego wasn’t afraid of this asshole, even when he snapped his attention over with a murderous expression. Klaus glanced over at him with even more panic in his eyes. 

“Fuck off, this isn’t about you, moron,” the pimp snapped, squeezing Klaus’ neck harder in his anger. 

“I’m pretty sure him and I have some _business_ to attend to,” Diego said, hoping Klaus would play along. He kept walking until he was only a few feet from them. “And I would appreciate it if you would stop damaging the goods beforehand.”

“Are you sure you want to pick this fight, buddy?” the pimp said, letting go of Klaus’ neck and turning toward Diego. Klaus’ knees buckled and he fell to the ground, gasping and coughing and holding his throat. 

“Yeah, I think I do,” Diego said, voice dripping in challenge. He watched the guy scan his face and crack the knuckles of his left hand just by flexing them by his side. 

“You’re one of Julio’s boys? You know we’re allies, don’t you?” the pimp said, grinning to himself with a mouthful of yellow, crooked teeth. Diego didn’t expect him to recognize the tattoo over his eyebrow, his gang’s mark of ownership over him. “I don’t think he would like to know you’re interfering with my business. Especially for this stupid whore.”

“Julio can get fucked, and so can you,” Diego snapped, “Are we going to do this or are you going to run your ugly mouth all night?”

That did it. The pimp took the first swing and Diego took it on the chin, but held his ground. The explosion of pain through his jaw unleashed the violent monster that Diego had tried so hard to keep caged since he was released from prison. The rest of the alley faded away, blood pounded in his ears, and all Diego saw was this guy he was about to destroy. He started swinging furiously, two rib shots with each fist. He dodged another swing from the pimp and countered with another, feeling the guy’s nose crunch under his fist. 

The pimp fought dirty, grabbing Diego’s shoulders and kneeing him in the balls with all his might. Time stopped and Diego hit his knees, seeing spots in front of his vision as the unbelievable pain in his groin blinded him for a few seconds. The pimp took the opportunity to punch his face at least six more times, bloodying Diego’s lips, cheek and nose with knuckles that seemed to be made of steel. 

Okay, so he was tougher than Diego expected, and things were getting pretty fucking dicey, but he wasn’t done yet. He managed to roll to the side even though his whole body was screaming in pain and got to his feet. The same unbridled rage was boiling his blood that he’d felt the day he had been arrested for murder and his temper was off the leash now. He spat a mouthful of blood and charged again, grabbing the pimp by his shirt collar.

His next punch had to have broken the pimp’s left eye socket. Diego felt the crack radiate up his arm and he swung again, striking the same spot just as hard just to be sure. The pimp screamed and staggered, but he’d pulled a knife that Diego hadn’t noticed until it was too late. Thank god for leather jackets, the knife swipe barely grazing his left upper arm once it cut through the material. Leave it to some fucking scumbag pimp to bring a knife to an honest fist fight. 

“I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!” the pimp bellowed, swinging the knife wildly in Diego’s direction, and at this point Diego couldn’t be sure that wasn’t true. He could feel his own body weakening, consciousness trying to slip away from the repeated blows to his face. If he fainted now this guy would kill him for sure.

He managed to dodge all the swings but one, the blade nicking his neck over the Adam's apple with a slice that was only a couple centimeters. Diego had lost control now, his brain wasn’t even on board as he grabbed the guy’s wrist that was swinging the knife and muscled it up to his mouth. He bit the pimp’s knuckles hard, feeling the flesh tear under his teeth, but the end result was exactly what he needed. The knife dropped to the pavement and Diego swung again with his other hand, aiming at the guy’s already broken eye socket. It finally brought him to his knees and Diego bent to grab the knife, too riled up to stop himself. He kicked the pimp in the chest, knocking him backward on his ass and palms. He looked weak and terrified, but all Diego could see was red as he kicked again until the pimp was on his back.

Diego hopped on him, pressing a knee into his chest and holding a hand over his screaming mouth. He held the blade over the guy's carotid artery in his neck, not even thinking of the consequences. The adrenaline and rage were driving him, he couldn’t stop himself now that he’d come this far. Just as easily as last time, Diego pressed the blade through flesh, muscle and arteries, enjoying the thrill of the kill more than anything he’d done in the last eight years.

As he kneeled over the pimp's body, chest heaving and blood dripping from his chin, the world around him started to filter back into focus. The reality didn't genuinely hit him until Diego heard Klaus' voice. He looked up to see Klaus on his knees, both hands over the lower half of his face as he stared in utter shock. 

" _Did you just fucking kill him_?" Klaus whispered harshly behind his hands, his eyes wide in disbelief.

He did it _again_. He fucking killed _another_ human being. It was self defense, Diego never would have killed him if the stupid bastard didn’t pull a knife. He would have just beat him bloody and left once Klaus was safe, but now there was even more blood on his hands. The moral dilemma would have to come later though, he need to get the fuck out of there, immediately. 

“He had a-a knife, I-I didn’t-” Diego stuttered, standing and wiping his bloody hands on his pants. 

“Holy shit, haven’t you ever heard of disarming and incapacitating the threat?” Klaus asked, getting to his feet and walking over to the body with one shaky hand still over his mouth. 

“He was going to _kill_ me, dude! Or you!” Diego said with a scowl, then shook his head. “I don’t have time for this, I have to get the fuck out of here!”

“Wait! You can’t just leave me here, they’re going to think I killed him!” Klaus said, his voice suddenly even more terrified. “Everyone saw us leave together and my blood is all over the place, too!”

“ _Fuck_ , okay, come with me. But we’re leaving _right fucking_ _now!_ ” Diego said, already dashing back up the alley, his heart still racing. He glanced back to see Klaus crouched on the ground, looting the pimp’s body. “ _Klaus!_ Fucking come on, man!”

He stalled his feet right at the corner of the building, waiting for Klaus to catch up. Except there were two girls walking down the sidewalk a few feet away. As soon as they walked by the alley they would see Klaus and Diego covered in blood. It would be too dark further down for them to notice the body, but he had to do something, fast. As soon as Klaus was at his side Diego grabbed him and shoved him against the wall as gently but quickly as possible. 

“Don’t talk,” Diego whispered sharply, dropping to his knees and burying his face against Klaus’ stomach. Klaus must have heard the girls talking and figured out the ruse, winding his fingers in Diego’s hair and letting his head fall back against the bricks. With his hand raised to Diego’s head it made his coat hang even more conveniently, almost entirely cloaking Diego’s busted face.

“Ugh, this neighborhood is going to shit,” one of the girls said, clearly spotting what appeared to be a back alley blowjob. 

“I know, fucking degenerates everywhere,” the other girl said, and they both walked by without any further disturbance beyond their high heels clicking away. 

“Okay, let’s go,” Diego said as soon as they were out of earshot. He got to his feet quickly, grabbing the sleeve of Klaus’ coat and dragging him along. Klaus was the least graceful person ever though, somehow managing to trip over his own feet every other minute as Diego tried to be silent as the grave. 

“Where are we going?” Klaus whispered as they approached the parking garage a block from the bar. Diego didn’t answer, keeping his quick pace as they walked through the entrance of the parking garage. He didn’t think he needed to be sneaky in here, until he saw someone standing next to his dark green car at the other end of the garage. 

“Shit, get down!” Diego said sharply, grabbing the back of Klaus’ coat and ducking them both behind a huge red SUV.

“What’s going on?” Klaus asked quietly, staring over at Diego with concerned eyes as they crouched on the dirty garage cement, their backs to the side of the vehicle.

“Fucking ChaCha. _Fuck,_ ” Diego said, squeezing his eyes shut and dropping his head back against the SUV door. 

“Am I supposed to know who that is?” 

“She’s- she’s a hitman for Julio, a literal fucking trained _assassin_ ,” Diego whispered, pushing with his legs so his back slid up the car door enough to peek through the window behind him. She seemed to be leaving, but there was no way she didn’t know it was Diego’s car. “I thought I had more time.”

“More time?! She’s here to kill _you_? _Why?_ ” Klaus asked, his voice squeaky with fear. 

“Because I have taken too much time to do what Julio asked me to. He must know I’m deserting,” Diego said distractedly, standing up carefully and trying to see where ChaCha went. 

“You can’t leave a fucking gang, that shit is for life!” Klaus said, using his fuzzy coat sleeve to wipe some fresh blood trickling from his nose. 

“Yeah, well I’m sure as hell going to try. Stay here,” Diego said, creeping up in front of the SUV.

“No! Hey, tough guy, don’t-”

“Shh! Just _stay._ Christ,” Diego snapped. He knew if ChaCha was scoping out his car from a distance he was going to get shot at, and he didn’t want Klaus in the line of fire.

Diego crept along the line of cars as silently as possible in a half-crouch, keeping his eyes peeled for any movement. He made it all the way to the old silver car parked next to his dark green one without incident, so he made a run for it. He dashed around his own car to the driver’s side, unlocked the door and got in, no shots fired. She must have gone looking for him elsewhere. He took a deep breath and started the car, hoping it wasn’t going to explode or something when he turned over the ignition. Nothing happened, so he slammed it into reverse, pulled out of the parking space and headed toward the entrance. He stopped with a screech in front of the SUV where Klaus was waiting for him, watching as he got up and scrambled around to the passenger’s side.

There was one of those flimsy wooden arm barriers over the exit of the garage, but Diego didn’t have time to fish out his parking stub and money. He was going to blow through it, only because there weren’t also spikes on the ground to prevent people from doing exactly that. He stepped on the gas, easily splintering the barrier as he sailed through. 

“Do you know where we are going?” Klaus asked tentatively, glancing out the back window to make sure they weren’t being followed. 

“Vaguely. Right now I’m just getting the hell away from _here_. I can’t go back to prison,” Diego said, trying to remain calm as he sped away from the garage. He headed immediately for the interstate, doing his best to not get pulled over in the meantime even though he was running every red light without any traffic.

“Hang on, did you just say ‘ _back_ ’ to prison?” Klaus asked, raising his eyebrows and staring at Diego like he’d grown horns.

“How the _fuck_ do you think I got involved in a gang?” Diego snapped, his tone lashing Klaus like a whip. He saw Klaus flinch and instantly felt bad about it. He tried softening his voice a little in spite of his anxiety making him so high strung, “Sorry, I’ll tell you about it when we’re not in immediate danger, okay?”

“Okay,” Klaus said softly, hunching down in the passenger's seat, hugging himself and looking out the window. It only lasted a moment though, and Diego noticed him reach in his coat pocket and pull out a tiny baggie.

“You really think now is a good time?” he asked incredulously, watching Klaus pour a couple pills in his hand. Klaus gave a little surprised laugh.

“ _Oh-ho yeah_ , I can’t think of a better time,” he said with raised eyebrows, tossing the pills in his mouth and clicking them against his teeth before swallowing them dry. 

Diego rolled his eyes and kept driving. He wasn’t going to be able to fix a junkie’s habits, not at the moment, anyway. He knew Klaus was on drugs even before he took out his stash, and Diego started to wonder if it was absolutely crazy to be bringing this guy along with him. He could be a liability, he could end up being even crazier than Diego himself, he could fuck this all up even worse than it already was. But... Klaus just watched him MURDER a man and still wanted to ride along, so he apparently wasn’t afraid of him. It took guts, or maybe stupidity, to flee to God knows where with the guy you just watched slit someone’s throat. Why the hell did Klaus trust him? 

“If you want out, you better tell me now. I’m literally _never_ coming back to this city,” Diego said, looking both ways before running another red light. “We’ll be on the highway in less than 10 minutes and I’m not turning around.”

“No, I’ll stay if you don’t mind,” Klaus said, twisting a silver ring on his finger anxiously.

“Don’t you have like, friends or family that will wonder what happened to you? And belongings and stuff?”

“Not really. All my friends are shitty and I don’t really own anything other than like, clothes I don’t need,” Klaus said, shrugging. “I’m carrying everything I need, basically.”

Diego noticed he didn’t mention family members, and it didn’t take him long to figure out that it was because Klaus probably didn’t have any of those either. Diego could relate, so he didn’t press the issue. 

“I’m headed for Seattle, that’s a really long way in a car. And I won’t be able to feed you and shit, so I hope you’ve got cash,” Diego said, getting even more anxious about bringing this guy along. He hadn’t even considered the extra cost, let alone the risk.

“I’m good,” Klaus said easily, stuffing his hand in an inner jacket pocket to pull out an enormous stack of cash and tossing it on the dash with a bit of sass. 

“Oh shit, did you lift that off your pimp?” Diego asked, blinking at the stack of money and then at Klaus. 

“I did. And you were just going to leave it,” Klaus said. “It’s at least $1,000, and I have a little extra of my own.”

“Well, I was a little preoccupied, but good job, anyway,” Diego said, feeling a touch less nervous about bringing him. At least he could take care of himself, and maybe the company wouldn’t be so bad.

They were quiet for a while as Diego finally made it to the freeway and headed east. In the silence he started focusing on his injuries instead, noting that he must look like hell. His face was torn up and he knew his left eye was going to swell shut eventually. Pain radiated over his whole body, the ache from his groin being the primary sensation taking over his mind. He hadn’t been hit that hard in the nuts in a very long time, and if he wasn’t still in crisis mode he might even shed a tear about it. The cut on his neck was still steadily bleeding and stinging, and his split knuckles, too. As soon as they were outside of the city limits he was going to have to stop at a rest stop and clean up. The smell of blood was stinking up the whole car, plus he was eventually going to have to stop for gas and he couldn’t _look_ like he’d just fled a disaster. 

“So when are we going to ditch this car?” Klaus asked, breaking the silence and making Diego jump so hard he barely heard the question.

“ _What?_ ”

“The car, we have to ditch it. That’s like clean-getaway 101, honey,” Klaus said, giving Diego an annoyingly sympathetic look, like he assumed Diego was too dumb to think of that. “Unless you don’t think that ChaCha woman knew this was your car?”

“Oh, I’m sure she knew. I already have that handled,” Diego said, but it was only sort of true. He had a plan, but not necessarily a guaranteed one. All the plans he’d made were for when he was fleeing under much less stressful circumstances.

“Why do you think she knew? Why wouldn’t she just stake-out there and wait for you?” Klaus asked, clearly forgetting that Diego had snapped at him earlier for asking too many questions. 

“I don’t know why she left, but she would still know because… because when I got out, Julio took care of me. He set me up with this car and a little start up money,” Diego said, avoiding telling Klaus exactly what that ‘start up money’ was for. He had been given a job within a couple weeks after he got out, and he’d pushed it back for the last month and a half as he got all his ducks in a row to get out of town. He knew Julio had started suspecting him of either being too weak to complete the task, or of desertion, but he’d still expected to have at least another week before Julio took action. 

“So you think he told her what kind of car to look for?”

“Of course. She’s probably already ransacked my place, too. Someone must have told her I’ve been hanging at Sharp Shot on the weekends, that’s how she found my car,” Diego explained, and then he saw a sign for a rest stop. It wasn’t quite as far out of town as he’d been hoping for, but the blood all over him was starting to get dry and itchy. 

“So, what’s the plan then? Steal another one? Do you even know how to hotwire? But wait, if you steal another car, won’t that put you on the cops’ radar?” Klaus fired away, making Diego a little insane. 

“Do you ever stop asking questions?” Diego asked with poorly contained exasperation. He was trying not to sound as fierce as he felt. “I said I’ll handle it.”

“Okay, but you’re not very convincing,” Klaus said. Diego glared at him and Klaus just shrugged. “I’m just saying, you could at least not be vague about that much since you kidnapped me.”

“ _Kidnapped_ you?! You begged me to let you come with me!” Diego said, losing control of his temper. But they had reached the rest stop and he managed to not miss the driveway in spite of being extremely irritated.

“After you killed a man right in front of me! If I stayed there the cops wouldn’t even bother investigating, they would just lock my ass up, as an accomplice if nothing else. What choice did I have but to come with you?” Klaus asked, folding his arms over his chest.

“But your prints wouldn’t be on the knife, it would be mine. You could just say-”

“Say what, exactly? That a Batman wannabe came out of the darkness and saved me from getting my ass beat?” Klaus said, laughing incredulously. “You think the cops have sympathy for whores getting slapped up by their pimps? Not in that neighborhood, and neither does anyone else. They would never believe I didn’t at least know who you are. Then I’d be charged with aiding and abetting if I wouldn’t provide a name. They wouldn’t let me get out of that without falsely tying me to it in some way, because they need a suspect to point fingers at for the sake of the press, and they know nobody is going to take me seriously, anyway. Their word against mine, and you know who wins there.”

Diego was quiet as he parked the car at the rest stop, unsure how to even process that maybe he made Klaus’ life harder by trying to help him. All he had been trying to do was help, but he’d fucked that way up, too. Klaus was right, Diego basically owed him continued protection at this point.

“Oh hey, that reminds me,” Klaus said, reaching into his coat again to pull out the pimp’s bloody knife by the tip of the blade. He set it on the dash next to the stack of cash. “You left the murder weapon, another rookie mistake. You’re really bad at this, huh?”

“Jesus, will you put that shit away before someone sees!” Diego said, looking around wildly at the couple other cars parked there. Nobody seemed to be in the immediate vicinity, but still. 

“Okay, but you should be thanking me,” Klaus said with a little sing-song to his voice, rolling his eyes and grabbing the cash and knife. Diego watched him bend between his own knees and shove the knife under the seat.

“Another time, we need to get cleaned up,” Diego said, unlocking the car and getting out with a wince. Shifting his groin was still agonizing, but he soldiered on. “C’mon, you can wear something of mine.”

Klaus got out of the car and followed him around to the trunk, missing his big, fluffy coat. He must have left it in the car, leaving him in just his bloodstained tye-dye shirt. The parking lot was ridiculously bright, every corner lit up with streetlights, but it made finding clothes in Diego’s duffle bag a little easier, anyway. Klaus chuckled next to him as he rifled through the bag.

“And I thought I wore a lot of black,” Klaus said, still giggling. “Literally every item in there is black, even your underwear.”

“It’s called _‘stealth,_ ’” Diego said, frowning and shoving a black tank top into Klaus’ chest.

“No, it’s called drama,” Klaus said, grinning as he took the shirt that was at least a size too big for him. Diego rolled his eyes again and slammed the trunk loudly, balling his clean clothes up under his arm. “See. Drama.”

“Shut up, Klaus,” Diego said, storming toward the entrance of the rest area. 

“Hey!” Klaus called, jogging to keep up. “You keep saying my name, but I don’t know yours. Not fair.”

“Diego,” he said shortly, not expanding on it any further. He was too focused on figuring out how to not be seen, but it might be inevitable. 

“Well, Diego,” Klaus started, catching up and grabbing Diego’s sleeve to stop him. Diego halted briefly to stare at him with a frown. “Thank you. I mean you fucked it up, but if you hadn’t come… I’m not sure Craig wouldn’t have killed me."

“What did you do anyway?” Diego asked, ignoring the slight jab at how he’d handled it as he started walking again. 

“I um… I was doing some side work,” Klaus said, scratching his hair. “I’m not sure how much you know about sex work, but I’m pretty much forbidden from taking jobs where I don’t collect cash.”

“What did you ‘collect’ then?” Diego said distractedly as they reached the entrance. There were several cars in the parking lot, but so far they hadn’t seen anyone.

“Drugs. Craig usually supplies all that for me, because I’m not allowed to have my own money but… but I needed more than he was giving me,” Klaus said, opening the door to the men’s room. There didn’t appear to be anyone in there either, so maybe it was just carpool people parked out front, or women. 

“You’re not allowed to have your own money?” Diego asked, following him into the restroom and checking underneath all the stalls. Still clear.

“Nope. Every dime we make goes to Craig, and he provides everything for us. Housing, food, drugs, clothes. It’s actually not that bad, you know, other than the obvious.”

“You keep saying ‘us’,” Diego said, starting to wash his bloody hands in one of the sinks. “How many were there?”

“Um, I think eight of us. The other girls are probably going to be shifted to other pimps now,” Klaus said, whipping off his bloody t-shirt to put on the black tank top that Diego had given him.

“You were the only guy?” Diego asked, perhaps missing the point. He dipped his face close to the sink and splashed his face with water. The heat stung the cuts on his face as the dried blood lifted and left the wounds raw again. 

“Well, first of all, I’m not a ‘guy’,” Klaus said, wetting a folded up paper towel to wipe his eyeliner streaks and bloody face. “I prefer to be thought of as neither. Or both, or something else.”

“Uh, that’s a little confusing,” Diego said, checking out his face in the mirror once it was blood-free. His eye was for sure going to swell shut, he had a split lip and a bunch of bruises. He was definitely a mess.

“Not really. Gender isn’t as black and white as you might expect. I just choose to not subscribe to the ‘one or the other’ sort of mentality. Why can’t I be more than one?” Klaus said, leaning his hip on the sink and watching Diego now that he was all cleaned up.

“So what am I supposed to call you then?” Diego asked, finally being clean enough to change his clothes. He took off his jacket and shirt, then replaced the t-shirt with an almost identical black one.

“‘Klaus’ is fine, and so is ‘he’ or ‘they’ or whatever. I’m not picky about pronouns. Just don’t call me a man, because I’m not,” Klaus said, shrugging and rubbing his eyes. “Right now my gender is just ‘ _fucking tired_.’”

“Fuck, mine too,” Diego said, making Klaus giggle. “We still have a long time to drive before I can stop, though. We might have to hit up a gas station for some coffee.” 

‘They have a coffee vending thing here,” Klaus said. Diego made a face.

“I don’t want powdered coffee, I had enough of that shit in prison,” Diego said, scooping up his dirty clothes under one arm and wiping the blood off the sink with a dry paper towel. 

“You never told me why you went to prison, but I think I have an inkling at this point,” Klaus said, looking at Diego pointedly. 

“You don’t know _anything,”_ Diego said, feeling himself clam up immediately. He was not fucking telling Klaus that yet, they just met. Klaus sighed.

“Okay, but I feel like I should know what kind of felon I’m traveling with,” Klaus said, poking Diego in the side. It took everything in Diego to not break his fingers right off his hand on instinct. 

“I killed a cop,” Diego said shortly, whipping the wad of bloody paper towels in the trash can with unnecessary force. 

“Oh my fucking god, Diego! Isn’t that a capital offence?” Klaus asked with raised eyebrows, stopping Diego from opening the door to leave by grabbing his arm. “How are you out of prison, or even alive?”

“ _Don’t touch me_ ,” Diego said defensively, yanking his arm away. “He wasn’t on duty, and… it was domestic.”

“Domestic? Like, in the home?” Klaus asked, not exactly putting the pieces together yet. 

“You certainly know a lot about the law for a streetwalker,” Diego snapped.

“Whatever, I watch Law and Order just like everyone else,” Klaus said, shrugging. “Plus, I think pretty much everyone knows cop killers get life or the death penalty.”

Diego flinched slightly and yanked the door open, walking out without a response. Klaus didn’t follow him, and Diego just assumed he was using the bathroom. The amount of times the term ‘ _cop killer_ ’ had been hurled at him as an insult made him annoyingly sensitive about it. He knew Klaus didn’t even mean it in a derogatory way, but it still left a sting behind. Plus, he had also just called Klaus a streetwalker and _meant it_ as an insult, so he tried to shake it off.

While he waited for Klaus he found a payphone, digging in his pocket for a quarter. Then he dug in his back pocket for his wallet, thumbing through some papers to find a number. He really, really needed this to work, because if it didn’t he was dead in the water. After taking a deep breath he dropped the quarter in and dialed the number. It was the middle of the night, so Diego wasn’t surprised that it took quite a few rings for someone to pick up. 

“Hello?” a woman’s voice said, groggy with sleep and confusion. 

“Is Luther there?” 

“May I ask who is calling?” she said, waking up a little.

“No, just give him the phone,” Diego said shortly. Then as an afterthought he added, “Please.”

“Honey, wake up. There is some asshole on the phone for you,” Diego heard her say in the background. He would normally be more annoyed by that, but he was distracted by watching Klaus shake a vending machine that apparently ate his dollar. 

“Who is this?” Luther asked with a note of authority. Just hearing his voice made Diego’s blood boil. They hadn’t spoken in eight years, and if Diego wasn’t in trouble, it would have been 100 more years before he spoke to him again. 

“Your brother,” Diego said coldly, barely able to keep the disgust from his voice. The line was quiet for a moment.

“... Diego? Jesus, I forgot you were getting out soon,” Luther said, dropping all authority. Diego thought he heard a note of fear and it was extremely satisfying.

“Lucky you,” Diego said.

“I didn’t think you’d ever call me again. Are you okay?” Luther asked, and his concern pissed Diego off more. He could not believe he had to ask this motherfucker for help. Nothing would wound his pride more, but he had to swallow it for now. Luther was literally his only hope, _again._

“I need a favor. Well, several favors, and you’re not going to like any of them,” Diego said, dragging his hand down his face and swallowing hard.

“Um, okay. I’m not sure what I can do for you, but what do you need?”

“Well first of all, do you have any connections in Pennsylvania?”

“... define connections.”

“Christ, Luther. What do you think I mean? I need to get the fuck out of Philly, and the car I’m in is uh… hot,” Diego said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I need either a clone or at least one with a clear VIN.”

“Diego, that’s not the business I’m in at all. I’m not sure-”

“Don’t fuck with me, I know your dad’s business did insane amounts of underhanded, illegal shit. Half of his consorts ended up in prison with me. Now can you get me a car or not?” Diego snarled. He lowered his voice to a dark and accusatory tone. “You don’t think you owe me at least that much, _brother?_ ”

Luther was quiet for a few moments, and Diego thought he heard the sound of shuffling around. Maybe he was leaving the room so the woman he was with couldn’t hear him. If he refused Diego was fucked, but not as fucked as Luther would be if Diego ever got his hands on him. 

“How far are you from Pittsburg?” Luther said under his breath.

“Too far, what about Harrisburg? I’m two hours east of there,” Diego said. He looked around and realized Klaus wasn’t in the vending area anymore, which concerned him. It’s not like there was anything else to do around here. Hopefully he just went back to the car.

“It’s gotta be Pittsburgh, unless you go South to Baltimore,” Luther said. “It’s going to take at least a few hours to get it set up, anyway. Just don’t stop anywhere until you get there.”

“ _Fuck._ Fine. Where’s the switch going to happen?”

“What did you do, Diego?” Luther asked, ignoring his question.

“Don’t worry about it,” he snapped. “Where am I headed? I can’t stand around here all day.”

“Just start driving. Call me again when you’re outside the city and I’ll let you know. But if you draw the fuzz you’re on your own, my guy will split.”

“I won’t. I’ll call you in four,” Diego said, slamming the phone on the receiver.

Diego’s heart was hammering, just hearing Luther speak was enough to wake up a lifelong burning desire to beat his ass. But at the moment Luther was not being an asshole, so Diego was going to have to let it go for now. He hated himself for needing help from the person that betrayed him so badly in the past, but it was what it was. At least Luther was going to comply, so far, anyway. 

Klaus was leaning his ass against the car waiting for him, licking at a sucker with one arm folded across his middle. On another day Diego may have taken the time to appreciate such a thing, but right now they were in a bit of a hurry.

“Get in,” he said, walking around the car and getting in the driver’s side. 

“So where are we headed?” Klaus asked, getting in the passenger’s side with a pile of junk food he’d bought from the vending area.

“Pittsburgh. We’re getting a different car there,” Diego said, looking around to see if they were being watched as he started the car. It still appeared to be clear, so he set back out toward the freeway. 

Klaus seemed to sense that Diego wasn’t in the mood to talk, which he appreciated. They spent the next half hour in silence, Diego lost in thought about Luther, and Klaus staring out the window quietly. At least until something occurred to Klaus and he gasped, staring at Diego with wide eyes.

“What?” Diego said, furrowing his brow and glancing at Klaus.

“I just realized… Diego, was your _dad_ the cop?” Klaus asked carefully, staring at him with concern. It blindsided Diego so hard that he blurted the answer without thinking.

“Yes,” and he instantly regretted it. He had never regretted the murder for a second, but he did regret the look of shock all over Klaus’ face. There were very few people he’d spoken to that didn’t think murdering his own _father_ was appalling, even other hardened criminals. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach and more cagey than ever; he fucking hated being cornered for details. First he had to deal with Luther, and now this. He knew what question was coming next and he could already feel the fresh wave of fury building. 

“Oh my God, _why?_ ” Klaus asked, turning in the seat enough to face him better. 

“It’s none of your fucking business! Why the hell do you think you can just fucking ask someone that? Christ!,” Diego spat harshly, keeping his eyes fixed on the road but he still saw Klaus flinch and shrink in the seat out of the corner of his eye. 

“Sorry,” Klaus said quietly, staring down at his hands. Diego felt bad for snapping at him again, but Jesus, there was such a thing as _tact_ and Klaus did _not_ have it. Klaus was quiet for a moment, but found a little bit more courage even in the face of Diego lashing out.

“Did he hurt you, Diego?” Klaus asked tentatively, apparently not learning any fucking lessons. He reached out to touch Diego’s arm, which Diego yanked away and scoffed. 

“Does it fucking matter?” he said waspishly, feeling himself clam up even tighter.

“I mean yeah, kinda. Motive always matters,” Klaus said quietly, dropping his sucker stick he’d been chewing on into the ashtray. “If he was really hurting you, I get it. If he was just a dick... maybe not so much. But I know a huge percentage of cops are domestic abusers, so it wouldn’t surprise me.”

“He deserved it. If that’s not enough of a reason for you, I’ll be happy to drop you the fuck off at the next exit,” Diego said coldly, clutching the steering wheel tight enough to snap it in half. He would rather blow his own fucking head off than have this conversation ever again. It was taking every drop of willpower he had to not stop on the side of the road and make Klaus get out, just so he could escape this. 

“I’ll take that as a ‘yes,’” Klaus said, giving him an annoyingly sympathetic look. “Don’t throw me out, I’m just curious. If we’re going to be in this car a while, we’re going to have to talk about it eventually, you know?”

“No we fucking _don’t,_ Klaus! I swear to God if you ask me again you’re hitchhiking back to Philadelphia. I don’t even fucking know you. _Back the hell off!_ ” he spat, barely keeping a lid on his true wrath. He knew he’d been yelling because Klaus was practically cowering in the seat. 

“Okay,” Klaus said softly, hugging himself and shifting to stare out of the window again. 

Diego tried to take a few deep breaths and not speed 100mph with all the boiling rage he felt inside. He liked Klaus, he didn’t want to be mean to him or be deliberately secretive, but some things were just too damn painful to talk about, particularly with strangers. But he still felt bad for making Klaus recoil like that, especially because he was right, it was all going to come out eventually. The least he could do was give Klaus the chance to hear the truth and leave if he wanted to. He swallowed hard and thought of how to explain without throwing up all over his car. After another 10 minutes of silence, Diego took a few more deep breaths and explained as briefly as possible. 

“My dad was a monster. He beat my ass, and my mom’s ass practically every single day. Our house was a living nightmare, even when my mom and I did everything right. We couldn’t tell anyone, because nobody would believe that such a standup man keeping the community safe would ever regularly beat his wife to the ground,” Diego said, swallowing the bile in his throat that rose every time he thought about his dad. “When I was 17 I had enough of it. We got in a fight over something stupid, he hit my mom in the face and cut me pretty badly with glass. I thought it would be considered self defense, so… I put an end to it for good. I was protecting her from him, like she’d protected me from him for years.”

Klaus was quiet for a few moments, absorbing Diego’s words as he stared at him with furrowed eyebrows. He could tell Klaus was grappling with the morality, whether it was justified to murder someone for domestic abuse. Diego didn’t care what conclusion he came to. 

“I don’t blame you,” Klaus finally said, and his voice was sincere in spite of all the irritating pity attached to it. 

“I don’t need your approval,” Diego said, rolling his eyes.

“I’m serious, I wish I would have had that nerve growing up, too,” Klaus said

“No, you _don’t_ ,” Diego snapped, “You don’t want to be a killer, Klaus. I promise, the brief satisfaction is not worth the bullshit that happens afterward.”

“And yet you don’t regret it, do you?” Klaus said, shrugging. Diego chewed on that question a while, because there were certainly _ramifications_ he’d regretted, but ending the life itself?

“I don’t,” he said darkly, glancing at Klaus to see if he was afraid. He didn’t appear to be, and it was so fucking weird to Diego. Why wasn’t he afraid of him like everyone else? Sure Klaus was afraid of him yelling, but of the murder? He seemed much less fazed. 

“Some people deserve what they get,” Klaus said casually, like he’d already decided it years ago, and it actually gave Diego the chill down his spine instead.

“True, but I still wouldn’t recommend it,” Diego said. Klaus frowned. 

“You think you’re the only one that’s encountered monsters before?” he said, giving Diego even more chills, and a little humility. 

Of course he doesn’t know what Klaus has been through, maybe he did have his reasons. Diego could only imagine the kind of people he dealt with in his line of work, let alone childhood. Maybe his father was an asshole, too? Diego didn’t feel comfortable asking him outright the way Klaus had asked him though, so he kept it to himself. He nodded slightly in acknowledgement and lit a cigarette instead. 

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” Diego said, even though he still felt slightly justified in being annoyed about the invasive questions. Klaus shrugged.

“It’s okay, I’m used to it,” Klaus said in a small voice, and Diego felt like an even bigger fucking asshole than ever. 

Additionally, he felt like he wanted to hurt whoever had trampled on Klaus’ self esteem so much that he just _took it_ when someone was verbally abusive. He recognized the cowering and flinching at signs of aggression, he didn’t need Klaus to tell him he’d been abused in the past to know it. Diego had no right to make him feel that way too. What’s the use in preventing Klaus from being hurt by someone else if he was just going to make him feel just as shitty?

“No, it’s _not_ okay. I shouldn’t talk to you that way. Nobody should,” Diego said, holding up his cigarette pack to Klaus. There was only one left, but they were stopping for gas soon, anyway.

“Too little too late for that,” Klaus said with a little snort of laughter, taking the cigarette and lighting the end with his own lighter. “But it’s fine, really. I know I was being too pushy. It’s kind of a problem. I tend to piss people off a lot, even if I don’t mean to. I don’t know when to shut up.”

“You’re just curious, I get it,” Diego said, feeling his temper gradually simmering away. Klaus shrugged again and cracked the window to let some smoke out. 

At the next exit Diego pulled off the highway, bypassing the closest gas station and traveling a few extra miles to the next one. If by some miracle ChaCha or the police had picked up his trail, he didn’t want to make any predictable stops. 

“Do you need anything in here?” Diego asked as he parked the car by a pump. 

“No, I’m fine,” Klaus said, gesturing to the vending snacks he’d gotten earlier. 

In the time it took Diego to head into the gas station, use the bathroom, make himself a coffee and pay for gas, Klaus had gotten bored, apparently. When Diego walked out of the store he saw Klaus leaning over the ashtray next to the door, picking out halfies and stacking them in his hand.

“Klaus, what the fuck are you doing?” Diego said, giving him an expression mixed between bewilderment and disgust. 

“These are still good smokes,” Klaus said, like he wasn’t doing anything weird at all. Diego continued to give him the same face and held up the pack of Camels he’d just bought. 

“Fucking stop, you dirtbag. You can have some of mine. Do not smoke those, Jesus,” Diego said, shaking his head and walking toward the car. Klaus dropped the butts back in the ashtray and followed him to the pump.

“Whatever, you have clearly never known what it’s like to need smokes when you’re broke as fuck,” Klaus said, holding Diego’s coffee for him while he started to pump gas.

“You’re not broke though, you literally have a bigger stack of cash than I’ve ever seen with my own eyes right now,” Diego said, leaning his ass against the car as he filled up. 

"That's true. Old habits I guess," Klaus said, taking a sniff of Diego’s coffee. Diego admired the contrast of his bright blue nailpolish against the white cup for a few seconds.

“Aren’t you worried about like, catching something from that? Hepatitis or some shit?” Diego asked, and he instantly felt stupid. Klaus didn’t even respond, just snort-laughed and raised his eyebrows at him for a moment.

“If I’m catching something, it won’t be from a stranger’s cigarette,” Klaus said, making Diego wince and wave his hand to cut Klaus off.

“Yeah, I got it now,” he said impatiently, slamming the nozzle back on the pump and storming around to the driver’s side door. “Get in the car.”

“ _Okay_ , grumpy bear,” Klaus said, making Diego pause to glare at him over the roof of the car before getting in. Klaus laughed again. “What? It suits you.”

Almost immediately after they got back on the road Klaus fell asleep, his head leaning against the window and snoring lightly. It gave Diego time to process what had happened earlier as he sipped his coffee. The last thing he wanted to do when he got out of prison was turn around and immediately take another life; it was one of many reasons he wanted out of the shitty gang in the first place. Justifying what he’d done to his dad was easy, justifying what he’d done earlier that night was not as clear cut. 

Sure, the pimp, ‘Craig’ Klaus had called him, was undoubtedly an irredeemable piece of shit. He’d probably hurt Klaus and others plenty of times, not to mention the entire business of sex trafficking and prostitution was beyond fucked up all by itself. His death was no loss in Diego’s book. But was any of it his business? He couldn’t go around killing every asshole that beat on innocent people, he would never rest. And on that note, had it been anyone but Klaus, who he’d grown stupidly attached to just from staring at him one night a week, would Diego have intervened? Or would he have just walked by and carried on like it was someone else’s problem, just like Klaus said everyone else would do? Any answer was unpleasant, but Klaus had also said that Craig may have killed him if Diego didn’t step in, so it was going to have to be enough justification. Enough to let him sleep at night, anyway. He was going to have to compartmentalize it, because he didn’t have the time or the emotional stamina to scratch deeper than the surface.

The miles seemed to crawl by, but he eventually made it to the outskirts of Pittsburgh without incident. He was already getting annoyed just thinking about having to call Luther again, but he had to suck it up. Diego took another exit, this one a lot more populated than the last. He decided to use the payphone inside a Denny’s foyer, hoping it was a less conspicuous place to stand around than another gas station or rest stop. The sunrise was just barely starting to light up the horizon as he dialed Luther’s number.

“Hargreeves,” Luther said, apparently his business greeting.

“I’m here,” Diego said. 

“Where?”

“Monroeville, standing at a Denny’s,” Diego said, looking nervously over his shoulder out of the window. He’d left Klaus in the car and he couldn’t see him since he’d parked close to the back.

“Off William Penn?”

“Yes.”

“Stay there, I’ll send him to you,” Luther said, not giving Diego a chance to argue. “He will be there in a half hour or less.”

“Am I supposed to be paying this guy anything?” Diego asked, realizing he’d actually never done this sort of thing.

“No, just the keys to what you’re driving now. He’ll get it chopped and sold out for parts. Actually, what are you driving now, so I can tell him what to look for.”

“Dark green 1990 Chevy Caprice,” he said. Luther scoffed. 

“Alright, no need to sell the parts. We’ll just scrap it,” Luther said. Diego rolled his eyes.

“Well _excuse me_ for not owning an Escalade,” Diego said, hardly containing the bite in his tone.

“It’s fine,” Luther said, apparently missing Diego’s sarcasm. “Be ready, make sure you’re not parked around any cameras.”

“Done. Hey, one more thing,” Diego said, getting ready to drop an even bigger request than the car.

“Yeah?”

“I’m going to need a place to lay low for a while…” he started, fully expecting to have to throw the past in Luther’s face again. 

“You’re going to come all the way to Seattle just for that?” Luther said, catching his drift. At least it wasn’t an instant ‘no.’ 

“Yeah, man. I don’t know anyone else outside of the pen, like... anyone at all. Ironically, you’re the only person I can trust,” Diego said, feeling his pride shrivel up on the shelf. Luther was quiet for a moment and Diego was afraid he was thinking of an excuse to turn him down.

“I don’t know, Diego. I don’t want to be caught up in whatever bullshit you’ve gotten into,” Luther said. Diego tried to tame the flare of anger that spiked from hearing that. 

“I wouldn’t be caught up in _any_ bullshit if you would have backed me up last time I needed you,” Diego said, wishing he didn’t need to play that card every time to get Luther to comply. He heard Luther sigh heavily.

“Alright. But any sign of trouble and you’re fucking _gone_. I’m not going to put my wife in danger for you,” Luther said. Diego bit back his retort, it wouldn’t do him any good to keep arguing. That could wait until they were face to face. 

“Understood,” he ground out. “I’ll be there in a little less than a week, probably.”

“Keep me posted periodically,” Luther said.

“Right. See you in a bit.”

Diego hung up the phone and took a steadying breath. At least he had a destination.

When he got back to the car Klaus was awake, smoking one of his cigarettes and looking as exhausted as Diego felt. 

“Aw damn, I thought you were bringing me pancakes,” Klaus said, a pout on his lips. 

“Maybe later, we’re waiting for Luther’s guy to bring a new ride,” Diego said, continuing to look over his shoulder suspiciously as he watched the restaurant driveway.

“Who is Luther?”

“My brother,” Diego said, failing to mask the disgust in his voice. 

“Wait, you have siblings? Aren’t they pissed at you for killing your dad?” Klaus asked, flicking the butt out the window to give Diego all his attention. 

“No, he’s my step brother,” Diego said with a clipped tone, already feeling his defenses rising with Klaus’ questions. He really didn’t learn lessons, did he?

“So like, his mom married your dad?” Klaus pressed. 

“Dude, _please,_ ” Diego said, holding up a hand and looking right in Klaus’ eyes. “I need you to stop needling me for personal information or I’m going to lose my shit, okay?”

“ _Okay_ , I’m sorry. I just want to understand you,” Klaus said, folding his arms. Diego snorted bitterly.

“Good luck with that,” he said, his sarcasm making Klaus roll his eyes.

“You’re kind of abrasive, you know that?”

“And you’re kind of nosy!” Diego snapped, “Can’t you just trust that I know what I’m doing without knowing my whole damn life story?”

“Sure. I was just wondering how well you could trust this guy, is all,” Klaus said, shrugging with his arms still folded. 

“I can trust him enough for this,” Diego said, but now the seed of doubt had been planted. 

If Luther thought of him as a _problem_ he wanted to get rid of, all he would have had to do is tell the cops where they were parked. They were sitting ducks. Maybe he should start giving Klaus a little more credit, he seemed to have this whole crime thing figured out a little better than Diego. 

“Shit, now you’ve got me paranoid,” Diego said, attempting to rub his eyes until he touched his swollen one and winced. 

“Sorry, I’m just saying. Is he the snitching type?” Klaus asked, and Diego couldn’t even be annoyed by further questioning. Klaus had no idea just how deeply the subject struck the nerve, and he was right to question a plan that also involved his safety. 

“Only if it doesn’t affect his public image,” Diego said, realizing that he may have truly fucked up trusting Luther. He sighed heavily and tried to figure out what to do.

“Public image? Is he like a celebrity or something?” 

“Ever heard of Reginald Hargreeves?” 

“Um, _yeah._ Like, the owner of the leading robotics engineering and manufacturing company, maker of basically every modern mechanical appliance we have? Your brother is fucking _Luther Hargreeves_?” Klaus asked, blinking at Diego in disbelief. “Didn’t he just inherit his father’s entire empire a couple years ago?”

“Unfortunately yes, that’s him,” Diego said, still glancing around for any sign of police. “... I think we need to bail.”

“I think you’re right,” Klaus said, already stuffing his coat pockets with his things.

“We can leave the car here and see who comes for it. Wait a few businesses over, so that way if the cops show we can slip away before they realize we’re not in the car,” Diego said, collecting his things too. 

“That’s the smartest thing you’ve said all night,” Klaus said. Diego frowned but didn’t retort.

Within a matter of minutes they had left the car and walked through a gas station parking lot and across the street to a CVS parking lot. The car was still visible in the morning twilight, so Klaus suggested they sit in the bus stop shelter as they waited. He pulled out a pair of tacky, yellow-tinted sunglasses from his fluffy coat pocket, and Diego couldn’t decide if it made him more or less conspicuous at six o’clock in the morning.

“Sure, we don’t look suspicious at all,” Diego said. He meant it to sound humorous, but his anxiety made it come out harsher than intended. 

“We just look like we’re waiting for the bus, relax,” Klaus said with a matter-of-fact tone, crossing his legs and leaning back on the bench. 

“Why are you so much better at this than me?” Diego asked in a brief moment of vulnerability. Klaus lifted his sunglasses to look at him directly.

“I’ve spent the last 10 years of my life avoiding jail. On any given day I’m always breaking _several_ laws, so you start to think on your toes, you know?” Klaus said, dropping his sunglasses back down. “Gotta be smarter than the cops.”

“How old are you anyway?” Diego asked, realizing he had no fucking idea. He assumed Klaus was only like 21, he hardly seemed old enough to drink let alone be outsmarting police officers for 10 years. 

“I’m 25, for the next month anyway. October 1st,” Klaus said, punctuating his sentence with a huge lion yawn. 

“Really? Me too,” Diego said. “I mean my birthday isn’t until the beginning of April, but I’m still 25.”

“Oh, an Aries? That explains so much,” Klaus said, nodding.

“It does?” 

“Definitely,” Klaus said, but he was staring intently at the car so Diego turned his attention there too. Someone had parked next to it and seemed to be waiting. 

“Do you think that’s him?” Diego asked in a hushed tone, as if the guy could possibly hear them across the street.

“I think so, he’s alone and I don’t see any cops. I’ll go over there alone and see,” Klaus said, standing up.

“No way, I am not letting you go over there by yourself,” Diego said, standing up and grabbing Klaus’ coat sleeve to stop him from taking off.

“Luther wouldn’t have given this guy my description, so even if he is an undercover cop, he wouldn’t expect me to be part of this,” Klaus said, trying to shake off Diego’s grip.

“I don’t care. I’m coming with you,” Diego said, his tone resolute. 

“Suit yourself,” Klaus said, shrugging and finally getting his sleeve back from Diego.

Diego’s anxiety ratcheted up impossibly higher as they made their way back to the car, even though it _appeared_ that Luther had actually come through. The guy was sitting in an older, black Mercury Grand Marquis, which Diego was sure used to be a common cop car model. It was the most suspicious part of the whole thing so far. What would they even do if this was a sting operation? Both of their lives would be _over_. 

“He’s watching you,” Klaus said under his breath, staring down at the grass as they crossed between the gas station back to Denny’s. “I told you Luther gave him your description.”

“Luther hasn’t even seen me in eight years,” Diego said, but Klaus was right, the guy was zeroed in on him. Fuck, what if the guy knew because he had Diego’s mugshot? This was such a bad idea.

Once it was clear that they were heading toward Diego’s car, the guy got out of the Mercury. He didn’t look like a cop, just a mid-30s white guy in a cheap tan suit and slicked back brown hair. He looked like a used car salesman maybe, but definitely not a cop. Diego was so anxious he could throw up, but he tried to keep his best tough-guy face on as they got close enough to speak. 

“Are you Luther’s brother?” the guy asked first, and Klaus answered before Diego could.

“Who’s asking?”

“I work for Luther, he said you needed a different car?” the guy said, reaching in his blazer pocket and pulling out his Hargreeves business identification badge for them to look at. 

He seemed a little surprised by their suspicion. Maybe Luther failed to mention the nature of the trade, or that Diego was a fugitive with plenty of reasons to be suspicious. But honestly, who needs a cloned VIN when they _aren’t_ up to something shady?

“Alright Grant, we believe you,” Klaus said, walking away toward the old car. Diego had to hold in a laugh, because the guy’s name badge definitely said Lance, not Grant, and the guy looked confused by being mis-named. Diego couldn’t believe he felt like laughing at a time like this.

“Thank you for your help,” he said, reaching out to shake Lance’s hand. “I’ve just got a couple things to get out of the trunk first.”

“Make it quick, the cops love this restaurant,” Lance said, handing Diego the keys to the Mercury. Diego nodded and popped the trunk of his car, then handed Lance his keys. 

Diego made quick work of transferring his duffle bags to the new car, and by the time he finished Klaus was already waiting for him in the front seat. Lance took off first, giving a little wave as he zoomed away in Diego’s old Caprice. 

“The inside of this car is enormous, I can stretch my legs almost all the way out,” Klaus said, showing Diego exactly how much legroom there was. “And a bench seat! You don’t see these much anymore.”

“I don’t care, as long as it runs long enough to get to Seattle,” Diego said, starting the ignition. The engine purred, there were no weird smells, and everything seemed to be in working order even though it was an older car. 

“Oh, we’re going to Seattle?” Klaus asked, moving his sunglasses up to rest in his messy, pink-tipped curls. “I was just about to ask what your game plan was now.”

“Luther lives there. He agreed to let me stay there for a while until I can figure out how the hell to escape this mess,” Diego said, sighing and driving out of the Denny’s parking lot. 

“Well, he seems like a cool guy, anyway,” Klaus said, making Diego’s temper flare against his will. 

“ _No the fuck he’s not_ ,” Diego snarled, wincing at his own aggression. Again with the outbursts. 

“Why not? He just saved our asses,” Klaus said, and Diego had to bite his bottom lip so hard it almost bled. He didn’t feel like having that fucking conversation right now, but he also didn’t want Klaus thinking Luther was anything but an asshole. 

“This is literally the _only_ time he’s ever helped me, and that’s all I will say,” Diego said, taking a deep breath and trying to let his anger mellow out naturally.

“Are you jealous that he’s rich?” Klaus asked, ruining any progress Diego made at calming down.

“I don’t give a rats ass about his fucking _money_ ,” Diego sneered, and Klaus studied his face.

“Alright, alright. I’m sorry, I know you said no more questions. I’ll be quiet,” Klaus said with a softer tone, trying to tame Diego’s anger. He only waited maybe four minutes before speaking again. “Hey so, when are we sleeping, though? Because you look like you haven’t seen a bed in like three days.”

“I want to get to Ohio before we stop. So only like an hour and then I’ll find a motel,” Diego said, and just talking about sleep made him yawn.

“I’m sorry if I fall asleep again before we get there, I’m running on empty here,” Klaus said, yawning again, too. 

“It’s fine,” Diego said, resolving himself to stay awake just long enough to find a motel. He had to cross state lines first, though. It was only another hour, but maybe he should have grabbed a second to-go cup of coffee from the restaurant before he left.

The rest of the drive was tedious, but Diego managed without crashing, even though Klaus did totally fall asleep on him again. Diego left him in the car at the motel office to check in, and then woke him when he drove around the side of the motel by their room door.

“Hey. Hey man, wake up,” Diego said, shaking his shoulder. Klaus grumbled and rubbed his eyes. “C’mon, we gotta go in.”

“I was having such a good dream,” Klaus said with a sleepy voice, stretching as far out as he could in the car. Diego tried to ignore how sweet he looked all sleep-disheveled.

“You can keep dreaming inside, let’s go,” Diego said briskly, getting out of the car and digging the motel door key out of his pocket. It was a ground floor room, and he had never been so thankful to not have to use the stairs.

Klaus followed him in the room and immediately shucked his coat and shoes, dropping them both in a corner by the small dresser that had a TV sitting on top. The room had two Queen beds, and Diego sat on the bed closest to the door. It smelled like stale smoke in there, but at least the sheets looked clean. It was marginally nicer than the boiler room he’d slept in at the gym in Philly for the last couple months, anyway. 

“I’m going to go grab some ice,” Klaus said, shaking the empty ice bucket as he walked to the door barefoot.

“That’s good, we could probably both use some ice water,” Diego said, nodding and yawning at the same time. 

“I don’t drink water,” Klaus said, like that wasn’t a weird ass thing to say, and walked out of the room. 

“ _What?_ ” Diego said to himself, frowning at the back of the door Klaus closed behind himself. He was too tired to even process that at the moment. His face and body were sore and his brain was barely functional. He hardly managed to stay awake long enough for Klaus to get back.

“Classy place,” Klaus said as he came back less than five minutes later, making Diego’s drooping eyes snap back open. “They sell condoms out of a quarter machine, stuffed in those little plastic containers. Just sitting in there next to the Runts and dinosaur keychains. This one glows in the dark.”

Diego managed to notice the little flying container with a blue cap that Klaus tossed to him before it hit him in the face. He caught it in his hand and stared at the container in confusion, and then panic. Klaus didn’t think-?

“Uh, y-you weren’t planning on _us_ using this were you? That’s not… that’s not what this is,” he said, suddenly much more alert with anxiety. Klaus laughed from the bathroom and came out carrying a white washcloth. 

“No, not unless you want to,” he said with a wink, hardly easing Diego’s nerves. “I’m kidding, I just thought it was funny and I had a quarter in my pocket. I’ve seen condom machines before, but not out of a _gumball_ machine.”

“Well, this place does rent by the hour. So, pander to your clientele, I guess,” Diego said, shifting on the bed and throwing the container over on the other mattress with mild disgust. He hadn’t noticed Klaus wrapping a bunch of ice in the washcloth until he walked over to stand in front of him. 

“Here, put this on your eye or you won’t be able to see tomorrow,” Klaus said, cinching up the ends of the washcloth with a pink hair tie from his wrist and setting it in Diego’s hand.

“Oh... thank you,” Diego said sincerely, staring at it in his hand for a moment and then looking back at Klaus as he wandered off into the bathroom again.

It was a simple gesture, but maybe one of the most thoughtful things anyone had done for him in a long time. He leaned his tired body back on the pillows stacked against the headboard and gently pressed the makeshift ice pack to his face. He could feel the heat from the swelling immediately start to melt the ice, but the cooling sensation was a blessing.

A few moments later Klaus came back out of the bathroom carrying another washcloth, wet this time. Diego watched him sit on the end of the other bed and use it to wipe the rest of the eyeliner off his eyes. For all Klaus’ usual energy and spunk, he seemed completely drained, shoulders hunched from exhaustion and face vacant of expression. He must have sensed Diego watching him, because he stopped to stare back. They held each other’s gaze, and Diego could tell they were thinking the same thing. 

_How the hell did we get here?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tune in next Friday for another chapter! (4/24)
> 
> *Another thing I want to add: If you don't like certain character choices I've made, (like you don't like that Diego is kind of an asshole, for example) just... keep going! PLEASE stay tuned. These characters evolve so much and go through a lot of changes, I promise!


	3. The Tower: Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *no summary, just pay attention to the date stamp at the beginning :)  
> *also a quick warning: this chapter has a flashback with domestic/child abuse jsyk

_** May 4th, 2007 ** _

Maybe it would be a good day, afterall. Diego’s dad had called and said he would be late, so he and his mom had the house to themselves for the evening. It was always a blessing when his dad worked late. That night Grace let Diego help with dinner, which was always a mess but one of Diego’s favorite things to do with her. There was flour, egg shells and breadcrumbs everywhere, a million dishes all over the counter, but the fried chicken was going to be delicious. Maybe it was weird to be 17 years old and still enjoying spending time with his mom, but he didn’t care. It was the only time he got to see her smile- well that, and he didn’t really have any friends, either. 

They were just finishing the last batch of chicken when the front door opened. Diego’s heart immediately fell, his dad was still home too early. He figured his dad was definitely going to be furious about the mess, and about the fact that dinner wasn’t done already because Diego and Grace had taken their time. Blood was already pounding in his ears as soon as he heard his dad hang up his keys and utility belt by the coat rack. All the cheer was sucked from the atmosphere, leaving nothing but immediate anxiety and tension. Grace gave him a momentary look of panic and started cleaning frantically. He cracked his floury knuckles loudly, he was not in the mood for his dad’s shit tonight. He was beyond sick of watching his mom’s smile turn into tight-lipped fear the second that asshole walked in the house. 

“Just don’t say anything, Diego,” Grace whispered with a pleading tone, stacking the bowls they’d used to dip chicken into the sink.

“It smells good in here,” his dad said as he rounded the corner. Grace wiped her hands on her apron and went to greet him.

“It will be finished in a little while. I just have to get the macaroni and cheese out of the oven in about 10 minutes,” she said tentatively, reaching to embrace him in a hug. 

“Alright, I’ll go wash up,” his dad said, setting his metal lunch box down with a clink sound on the glass kitchen table. 

Diego ignored him even though he appeared to be in a decent mood, keeping his attention on cleaning up the counters. He couldn’t let his dad see his split lip, anyway. He would immediately be in trouble for getting in another fight at school. Except it was too late, his dad was already reading the suspension notice sent home from the school that Grace had accidentally left on the table. It wasn’t her fault, he wasn’t supposed to be here yet.

“Diego, what’s this,” he said, but there was no genuine question in his tone. He knew exactly what the hell it was. Diego continued to ignore him, wetting a rag in the sink to wipe the counters. “Don’t ignore me, you little shit!”

“What does it look like?” Diego said as he wiped up flour, keeping his voice as level as possible despite his rising blood pressure.

He already knew he was about to get an ass beating, why be cooperative about it? He heard his dad stomping up behind him, so he whipped the wet rag in the sink and turned to face him toe to toe with a defiant expression. Looking his dad in the eye when he was like this was absolutely seen as a challenge, but he did anyway. His beatings had been worse ever since he’d started standing up for himself, but it was better than cowering in a corner like he had most of his life. 

“Honey, please, let’s just eat,” Grace said weakly, but she was ignored.

“What did I tell you about fighting? _What did I fucking tell you-_ ,” his dad growled, his speech so harsh he sprinkled Diego’s face with spit droplets. He grabbed Diego’s t-shirt and dragged him closer, shouting directly into his face. “You think you’re so fucking _tough_ , you’re _not!_ You’re a worthless _piece of shit_ , just like all the other pieces of shit I put behind _bars!_ ” 

“I guess it takes one to know one,” Diego retorted through clenched teeth, bringing up his arms and shoving his dad back with all the force he could muster. Diego felt his t-shirt rip as his dad stumbled backward with it still clutched in his fist, but he steadied himself easily. His dad took a clumsy swing, which Diego easily dodged. 

“ _Carl, stop!_ ” Grace cried out, rushing over to try to hold her husband’s arm back from swinging at Diego again.

With his other hand Carl whipped around and slapped Grace across her face, the strapping strength and follow-through of the blow sending her to the floor. Her scream echoed through the entire house, blood from her mouth speckled the floor and Diego immediately snapped. His vision blurred red as he lunged at his father, tackling him to the ground on his back next to Grace. 

Diego had the drop on him, so he scrambled over top of him and struck his face with both fists over and over. He punched with every drop of pain and misery his father had put both him and Grace through over the years, not relenting even when unbelievable pain flared up his fists into his arms. The full-body adrenaline rush was too powerful to stop himself, all that mattered in the world in that moment was causing this man as much pain as possible. Diego had watched his father abuse his mom for his entire life; every black eye, split lip and broken rib driving his fury.

“Diego, _no!_ ” Grace whimpered, breaking Diego’s focus. He looked over at her for a split second, taking in the blood dripping down her chin and feeling somehow even more enraged instead of pacified.

Carl used the distraction to take another swing at Diego, hitting him in the temple with all the force of a speeding semi. The pain exploded over the whole right side of his face as he fell to the side, allowing his dad to get out from under him and stand up. Diego was still momentarily dumbstruck when he felt his dad grab a fistful of his hair and yank him upward. 

“You’re dead, you little fucking bastard!” his dad roared, his bloody lips spraying Diego as he brought him to his feet by force. 

He saw his dad’s fist fly at his face and braced himself for impact. It tore his bottom lip open and the fist in his hair ripped out dozens of strands, the burst of pain was almost blinding. His mouth filled with blood that he spit in his dad’s face, taking a low swing and landing it in his dad’s gut next. He must have hit him in the diaphragm, because his dad let go of Diego’s hair and stumbled with a ragged gasp. 

Diego lunged forward again, knocking his dad back so hard they both fell through the glass dining table. It shattered spectacularly, but Diego was mostly protected, as he was on top. His dad’s back and arms were shredded though, the metal frame of the table tearing a huge gash across his ribs on the right side. Diego scrambled back on his knees, his eyes wide in shock, but the rage in his heart never faltered. This was no longer just a fist fight, his dad was seriously injured, and it made him feel fucking _good._

Grace screamed again when the table broke, crawling on her hands and knees through the scattered glass over to the wall. She watched helplessly, hugging her knees to her chest. Diego knew she couldn’t help him, and he didn’t want her to.

Carl didn’t seem nearly as fazed as Diego expected, and he knew in that moment that his dad was _never_ going to stop. He wasn’t going to stop until either Diego or Grace were dead. This was it. His dad grabbed a huge chunk of sharp glass and immediately went after Diego again, but Diego could barely move fast enough. His dad swung wildly with the shard of glass in his bloody hand, narrowly missing by millimeters as Diego dodged the swings. Then the counter got in the way, made Diego falter just a _moment_ too long.

For a split second he didn’t feel it, but he knew his dad had gashed him across the skull, above his ear and almost slicing clear across his eye. It felt like white hot lightning had struck him. The warm sheet of blood poured down his face and neck before the actual pain, but when it bloomed over the entire right side of his face he almost fainted. He fell to his knees, but he knew he had to keep moving. He avoided a kick from his dad, rolling away and getting to his feet with surprising agility given the gash on his head. He could hear Grace screaming again, but it sounded so distant, like the next house over. He already knew what had to be done. There was blood in his eyes, black hate in his heart and scorching fury coursing through his entire body like wildfire in his veins. He shoved his bloody knuckled fist into his pocket and pulled out the switchblade he always carried on him. The sound of the metal scrape as it snapped open intoxicated him even further. He finally understood the meaning of _bloodlust_ , his nostrils flaring as he geared up for the final stand. 

His dad seemed momentarily stunned by the sight of Diego standing strong, bloodied and ready to cut him, but Carl came for him anyway. He was weak from the wound on his side, so Diego easily knocked him to the ground, face down. He straddled his father’s hips and grabbed a fist full of hair, yanking his head back and deeply slicing his throat without a second thought. He felt skin, tendons and arteries giving way under his blade, the blood gushing over his knuckles and he revelled in it. He dropped his father’s head, breathing harshly as he watched that motherfucker choke on his own blood and bleed out in front of him. The rush was intense, like nothing he’d ever felt. Power, justice, vengeance - for a few breaths he felt incredible, like an angel of Death that completed a divine mission. Their suffering was over with one swift slice. He wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand and dropped the blade. 

“ _Diego, what have you done?_ ” Grace whimpered only a few feet in front of him, hands over her mouth and looking at him with horror in her eyes. Diego looked up at her and felt his world fall apart all over again. 

“M-m-mom,” he said, his voice breaking as the reality of what happened washed over him. He crawled over his dad, through the pool of blood and wreckage to get to her.

“Oh, _baby_ ,” she said, her voice heavier than Diego had ever heard as she reached up to hold his face and look at the wound on his head.

“H-he can’t hurt you anymore, m-mom,” Diego stuttered, immediately feeling the tears welling up in his eyes as her soft hands held his face. He knew he was going to black out soon, he’d lost too much blood, he was fading, but she was _safe_. He fell into her lap, trying to remain conscious but he felt his world dimming. 

“Stay with me baby, it’s going to be okay,” Grace said, trying to hold in her sobs as she petted Diego’s hair in her lap. “ _It’s going to be okay, you’re going to be okay. I love you so much, honey._ ”

It was the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness. 

**_August 30th, 2015, 2:48pm_ **

Diego woke up in a cold sweat, his heart pounding and out of breath. It had to be the 897th time he’d had that memory play out as a dream, and it never felt any less fresh and raw. He sat up, trying to catch his breath but his chest didn’t want to expand. Sweat dripped down his back, his hands trembled as he ran them through his damp hair and he knew this wasn’t going to go away easily. He glanced over at the other bed, thankful that Klaus appeared to be a heavy enough sleeper to not be disturbed by his gasping.

As quietly as he could, Diego got off the bed and padded to the bathroom, hoping that splashing some water on his face would help him calm down. He flicked on the light switch and immediately forgot what he was panicking about. The entire sink and counter were covered in a mess of faded pink curls of all different lengths, with the pimp’s now-clean knife amongst the chaos. _What the actual fuck, Klaus?_

Diego walked back around the wall to stare at Klaus sleeping, just to see if he was imagining things. In the light from both the bathroom and afternoon sun blazing in around the edges of the curtains, he could see that Klaus had absolutely _butchered_ his hair to get all the pink out. Who the hell uses a murder weapon for that, for starters. Diego figured he probably did it to not be recognized in case anyone read his description in the paper or something, but it was still a strange way to go about it. Still, the most surprising thing was that Klaus managed to sneak around the room quiet enough to not wake up Diego, who was an extremely light sleeper. But chopping his hair off on a whim still seemed pretty on brand for Klaus based on what Diego knew about him so far, though.

His eyes flicked to the clock on the bedside table and he noticed it was almost 3pm. 

“Hey Klaus, wake up. We have to get out of here soon,” Diego said, giving the end of Klaus’ bed a little kick. “I only paid for 8 hours.” 

“Nooo,” Klaus whined, dragging the sheets up over his head. 

“Yes. Maybe you should have went to sleep instead of fucking up your hair,” Diego said, heading back to the bathroom to actually use it.

By the time he returned Klaus was up. He was standing in the middle of the room wearing only the tiniest pair of bright, neon-colored underwear Diego had ever seen with his own eyes, hands on his hips. Thankfully Klaus didn’t see the embarrassing dark blush on Diego’s face.

“Where the hell are your pants?” Diego said, averting his gaze and trying to erase the image from his mind. Klaus was looking intently for something on the floor, but he looked up long enough to frown at him for a couple seconds.

“Have you ever tried to sleep in leather? Not great,” he said, but his mind was clearly elsewhere. He started lifting the sheets and blanket on the bed with slightly frantic energy, then got on his knees to look under it.

“What are you looking for?” Diego asked, but he already had a hunch. Klaus didn’t answer him, so Diego sighed and went to grab his duffle bag out of the trunk for clean clothes and shower stuff.

By the time they’d both showered and packed everything in the car, it was 3:30 in the afternoon. Diego had wanted to get on the road a little sooner, but he still needed to make a stop at Walmart for some essentials first. And he absolutely had to get Klaus’ hair fixed while they were at it. He looked like a madman - his chopped up curls sticking up in all directions, at all different lengths. In his current state he would surely draw more attention than he ever would have with just the faded pink streaks. Last he remembered, Walmarts had walk-in salons in them. It would have to work. 

“Alright, where too?” Klaus said, putting his yellow-tinted sunglasses back on and rolling down the car window. Diego was shuffling through a pile of folded up maps from his duffle bag. 

“Here,” Diego said, handing Klaus the maps. “Figure out how to get us as far as Chicago. We’ll stop for food there and then you can drive for a couple hours until we stop for the night in Wisconsin.”

Klaus took the maps but stared at Diego with a weird, anxious expression. 

“Um… Diego… I don’t know how to drive,” Klaus said, setting the maps in his lap and picking at his lip.

“ _What?!_ ” Diego snapped, making Klaus flinch again. “How the _fuck_ do you not know how to drive?! You mean I’m driving this _whole fucking way_ myself?”

“I’m sorry! I’ve been walking the same like 15 city blocks for most of my adult life,” Klaus said, hugging himself and looking small. “Plus, it’s not like I’ve ever had anyone to teach me. None of my foster parents ever saw it as a necessity, and I’ve never been able to afford a car, anyway.”

Diego looked up at the car ceiling, took the deepest breath he could and tapped on the steering wheel with his thumbs. He wasn’t allowed to be mad about this, he was _not_ allowed to make Klaus feel bad about this, he needed to fucking _chill._ Battling his temper had never been his strong suit, but he tried to let the flash of anger subside. Klaus never said he’d planned on helping drive, and technically Diego had been planning on doing all the driving before he’d picked up Klaus, anyway. Plus, Klaus peppered in the fact that he’d been through the foster care system, which was inevitably a crap shoot or worse. It made all the sense in the world that Klaus never learned to drive, and yet in spite of all that reasoning, Diego was still annoyed. It added whole extra days on to their trip, not to mention Diego had never driven this much in his life and an occasional break would have been nice. 

“Okay… okay, just… figure out our directions,” Diego said, shifting the car into reverse and heading toward the department store. 

It was only a few miles from the motel, so they were there in no time. Diego parked and Klaus folded up the maps and stuffed them up on the dash. He had a sneaking suspicion Klaus hadn’t figured out a damn thing about their route yet, but he didn’t feel like being pissed off about it at the moment so he didn’t ask. He was already stressed about how busy the store was, he fucking hated crowds, but it was the middle of the afternoon so he didn’t get to be mad about that either.

“As soon as we go in, you’re going into the salon and getting an actual haircut while I get supplies,” Diego said, and Klaus looked confused. 

“Why? I already got rid of the color,” Klaus said, touching his choppy hair self-consciously.

“Because you look like a 5 year old who got a hold of some scissors. I’ll pay for it, just get it done,” Diego said, getting out of the car and locking it as soon as Klaus opened his door.

Klaus looked a little hurt, but did as he was told when they walked in. Diego watched him walk into the salon at the front of the store and then grabbed a cart, running over the things he needed here in his mind. Body wash, plastic silverware to keep in the car, some alcohol and gauze to clean up the cuts on his hands and face, fingernail clippers because his nails were getting too long, a razor and shaving cream, a flashlight, a lined notepad and highlighter, some cheap sunglasses, and a case of water. Klaus had said he never drank water the night before and Diego was not even going to stand for that for one day. Klaus was going to drink this fucking water or he was staying here in this random Ohio town.

It only took him about 20 minutes or less to gather all the things as most of them were in the same department. When he got to one of the cashier lines outside the salon, he could see through the clear storefront that Klaus was still getting his hair worked on. He was talking animatedly to the stylist and she was laughing loud enough for Diego to hear at the cash register. He wondered how it was so easy for some people to hit it off with basically anyone, when Diego had a hard time even speaking to people he _liked._ On all the nights that Diego had watched him in the bar, Klaus had always been able to get people to warm up to him, even the surly looking bikers and hardened thugs. Nobody was immune to Klaus’ infectious, outgoing personality and it was truly a _skill_ in Diego’s opinion. 

“Oh honey, did you get in a fight?” the cashier asked, startling him back to attention. The lady was staring at Diego’s black eye and cut up face as she rang up his items. She looked like a nice country mom, which explained her vocal concern, but it still took all of Diego’s willpower to not tell her ‘ _none of your fucking business._ ’

“Yes,” he said shortly, hoping that would be the end of her questions

When she told him his total, he pulled out his wallet and thumbed out his fake gold credit card from the slot. It was one of the only things he’d managed to acquire without the help of Julio and his connections once he got out. He didn’t want to leave any paper trail of his journey across the country, but the card wasn’t in his name so hopefully it could never be traced back to him - not by Julio or the police. He hadn’t experienced any difficulty using it thus far, but he still had a mild spike of anxiety every time he swiped it, anyway.

After he finished checking out he sat on a bench outside the salon, wrestling with the stupid super-extra-sticky sticker wrapped around one of the arms of his solid black sunglasses. He was about ready to throw the whole thing in the trash, until Klaus walked out of the salon and distracted him. He looked… so nice and fresh. The stylist had cleaned it up with clippers all around his ears and the back of his neck and left a neat, even lengthed pile of soft-looking curls on the top of his head. It wasn’t just cut, it looked de-frizzed and conditioned, too. Klaus’ smile was also really nice, and Diego could tell he felt as good about it as he looked. 

“Much better,” Diego said, giving Klaus a small smile for the first time ever.

“This is the best my hair has looked in like 3 years,” Klaus said, touching the top of it gently.

“Don’t I need to pay the woman?” Diego asked, reaching for his wallet again. 

“No, no. I paid her already,” Klaus said, waving his hand. “I do need to grab a couple things before we take off though. You can wait in the car for me, I’ll only be a few minutes.”

“Alright,” Diego said, vaguely wondering where Klaus was holding his money since he’d left his coat in the car and his pants didn’t have pockets. He decided he didn’t want to know, because the only likely answer was in his underwear and Diego didn’t need to think about that. 

While he waited for Klaus, Diego opened up one of the maps and started writing notes on the notepad he had just bought. He highlighted his path on the map as far as Illinois, trying to stay off the beaten path as much as possible. He had absolutely no idea how cautious he needed to be. Would it be possible for cops to find them based just on description? They’d already lost the car that anyone might suspect them to be in, they were across state lines, they didn’t have anyone hot on their heels that he was aware of at the moment. Maybe taking the freeway wouldn’t be dangerous? He would have to ask Klaus. 

When Klaus returned, Diego had the motel ink pen he’d swiped bit between his teeth, several different maps spread out over the steering wheel and across the dash. Klaus was only carrying one bag, but somehow it had taken him at least a half hour. So much for ‘a few minutes.’

“Sorry, that took longer than I expected,” Klaus said, picking up the extra maps off the seat and getting in the car.

“It’s fine, I’ve been trying to figure out what way we’re going,” Diego said distractedly, highlighting on a different map. “Do you think anyone is going to recognize us?”

“Um, what do you mean? Just in general? Doubtful,” Klaus said, reaching in his shopping bag for a box of Mike and Ikes. He opened the box and popped a handful in his mouth, then offered the box to Diego.

“No thanks,” Diego said. He leaned over and showed the map to Klaus, tracing the route he’d highlighted with his finger. “If we take the freeway it will take a lot less time. But if we take side roads for most of the way, I think we might be less suspicious. It will just take a lot longer.”

“I mean, maybe. But if we’re more integrated into the regular flow of traffic it seems less likely that we’d be stopped for anything. Especially if we’re traveling at night,” Klaus said. “I don’t know if you’ve ever traveled at night, but creeping around back roads at like 2AM is generally suspicious no matter who you are, you know?”

Diego chewed his lip and nodded.

“So maybe side roads during the day and then the freeway at night?”

“I just don’t think back roads are necessary as long as we stay at motels that are a little out of the way. But how would I know? I’ve never been on the run for murder before,” Klaus said, shrugging and tossing another handful of candy in his mouth. 

“Me either. Last time I woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed, so I never had a chance to run for it,” Diego said, making Klaus do a double take and then stare at him with his eyebrows raised. 

“I keep forgetting this isn’t your uh… first murder,” Klaus said. “Why were you in the hospital? If you want to tell me, sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Diego said, sighing and wishing he hadn’t mentioned it. Now he had to tell him. “Before I um, before it happened, my dad gave me this. He cut me with glass. I had 16 stitches when I woke up.”

Klaus watched Diego trace his finger along the scar over his ear and across his cheek. His expression changed from curious to stunned concern and he put a hand over his heart. 

“Jesus Diego, and they still put you away for murder? How was that not self defense?” Klaus asked, shaking his head. “You told me he cut you yesterday, but I didn’t think that was the scar.”

“They put me away for voluntary manslaughter, not murder. A ‘heat of the moment’ crime,” Diego said, trying to stop himself from feeling defensive. Just talking about it made his heart race again, no matter how much time had passed, but he was the one that opened himself up for questions. “The prosecuting attorney painted me as a dangerous loose canon. They dragged out my school suspension record, all for fighting. So he made it seem like it was just a matter of time before I snapped and went too far, and I guess he was right. They also used the school counselor’s notes, and she wrote that I had borderline personality disorder. I was basically flagged as a ticking time bomb by 10th grade because… because I wasn’t a nice kid, and people were assholes to me, so I beat the shit out of them.”

“And they didn’t consider that abuse at home was a driving factor in why you were a violent kid?” Klaus asked, frowning and getting upset on Diego’s behalf.

“They didn’t believe it. Even when my mom testified that the abuse happened. The judge was my dad’s good friend. He refused to believe that either of us were telling the truth about such a well respected guy in the community. We had no proof, no witnesses,” Diego said, clearing his throat. “But we need to get moving.”

“Is that… is that why you hate Luther?” Klaus asked softly, and Diego felt bad that Klaus was _expecting_ him to explode. “He was supposed to be a witness, wasn’t he?”

“Yes,” Diego said, feeling way too exposed at this point but he pressed on just a little more. “I told him about it. I showed him bruises. He knew my dad was hurting his mother and he… he didn’t fucking care. He didn’t want to be involved.”

Diego glanced at Klaus and was shocked to see that he was a little bit choked up. He didn’t know what reaction he was expecting, but it wasn’t that. It made him uncomfortable but somehow grateful that someone else understood the emotional weight he was carrying for all these years. He’d never told anyone the story before outside of court. Even in prison, surrounded by other people with similar pasts, he kept the details close to his chest, never wanting to reveal any weakness whatsoever. He’s not sure how Klaus managed to get him to talk about it, but maybe it wasn’t so bad.

“You needed a better lawyer. And the judge should not have been someone with a personal relationship with the victim. You did not deserve fucking prison time when everyone in your life let you down like that,” Klaus said, shaking his head again and wiping a tear.

“It is what it is,” Diego said, shrugging. “We need to go, though.”

“Okay, but… you don’t blame yourself, do you?” Klaus asked, resting his hand on the crook of Diego’s elbow. “You did what you had-”

“Are you hungry?” Diego interrupted, shaking off Klaus’ hand and avoiding the question entirely. 

“I could eat,” Klaus said with a sigh, staring at him with that annoyingly sympathetic look he hated. But maybe he hated it a little less now than yesterday.

After eight years of eating tasteless, depressing food from the prison cafeteria, nothing tasted better than a fucking drivethru cheeseburger. Diego was pretty sure he’d put on at least 10 pounds since he got out, just eating all the foods he’d missed as soon as he was free. Don’t even get him started on how good fresh fruit was after nothing but an occasional orange or Red Delicious apple (who even named that apple because they definitely are not delicious?) for years.

The only problem with eating a giant cheeseburger these days was that his digestive system wasn’t used to it. An hour after he and Klaus had stopped for food and hit the freeway, Diego had some serious heartburn that was making him cranky. Klaus was draining his soda for every last drop, making the most irritating sound ever and Diego was struggling not to snap at him to fucking _stop_ already. He didn’t want to be in a pissy mood, but he could feel it building and he couldn’t keep it at bay. 

“Am I taking this exit?” Diego asked, realizing that the exit number sounded familiar, like maybe he’d read it while he was highlighting. Klaus finally put his cup down, holding it between his knees, since apparently the people at Mercury didn’t believe in cup holders.

“I don’t think so,” he said, pulling the map from the dash toward him and staring at it closely. 

Diego wasn’t sure he believed him, but passed the exit anyway. After another 15 miles, he got even more suspicious as signs started saying they were headed to Columbus instead of Toledo. They were totally supposed to take that exit to get on I-90, there was no way Klaus knew what he was talking about.

“So, are you sure about that exit we passed?”

“Yeah, you highlighted the road we’re on for like three more inches of the map,” Klaus said, and Diego felt his soul leave his body. _‘Three more inches’_ \- Klaus didn’t know how to read a goddamn map.

“Klaus… have you ever had to read a map before?” Diego asked, trying to remain calm even though the rage was rising faster than the heartburn in his chest. 

“Um... n-no, I have not,” Klaus said, biting his lip and glancing at Diego with nervous eyes. Klaus knew the verbal venom was coming. Diego saw him already bracing himself, but it was impossible to stop it. It just ripped out of him like a furious dragon trying to escape his chest.

“Why the hell didn’t you _say_ you didn’t know what you’re fucking doing!? Jesus Christ, you’re so fucking _useless_ ,” Diego lashed, hating himself even as the words left his mouth.

The little gasp he heard Klaus make broke his heart, even through the adrenaline clouding his hearing. He really fucked up this time, he could tell. Klaus didn’t even retort or apologize this time, just folded up the map and tossed it on the dash. He crossed his arms and stared out the window into the slowly setting sun, letting Diego fend for himself for directions. An empty apology wouldn’t fix it this time, and Diego had no idea what to do.

At the moment, he had to figure out how to get them back on the right path before anything else, though. They were headed south-west when they needed to be headed more north-west. He ignored Klaus for a while, trying to read the map while driving through traffic until he noticed a sign for a rest stop a mile ahead. He was going to have to stop and figure it out, because he didn’t feel like adding vehicular manslaughter to his rap sheet, too.

“Alright, I think I figured out how to get back on track,” Diego said once he’d stopped and stared at the map for like 20 minutes. Klaus ignored him, keeping his arms folded and face toward the window. Diego sighed. “If you need to pee, do it while we’re here.”

“I’m fine,” Klaus said tonelessly. Diego caught him using his fluffy coat sleeve to quickly wipe his cheek. 

Great, Diego had made him cry, even. Wonderful. He had never felt like a bigger shitheel in his life. At least when he made people cry in prison they usually deserved it. Klaus certainly didn’t deserve it, especially because Diego realized that he probably didn’t mention that he couldn’t read a map hoping to avoid that _exact_ outburst. 

As he got back on the freeway something else upsetting occurred to him. The last thing he had heard Craig yell at Klaus was… that he was ‘ _useless._ ’ Fuck, it had to be that particular word that had cut Klaus deeper this time than any of the other things Diego had said. It no doubt felt just as bad as people shouting ' _cop killer_ ' at him as an insult. How many times had Klaus been reduced to nothing but a useless whore by people in his life? Probably a lot more often than Diego could even imagine, and it wasn’t even _true._

After almost 2 whole hours of Klaus ignoring him, Diego couldn’t believe he started missing his voice. It was almost completely dark, only a hint of deep orange sunset left on the horizon. Diego would never admit it but the darkness made him feel lonelier than anything else. He needed to hear Klaus rambling to take his mind off his depressing thoughts, even if it was about something he didn’t care about. He would rather have Klaus yell at him than ignore him, at this point. 

“Hey…” Diego said, leaning over to nudge Klaus’ arm with his elbow. Klaus didn’t respond. “I know you don’t want to hear that I’m sorry, but I really am. I swear, I’m trying to stop getting angry, but sometimes I can’t help it. I know that doesn’t make it okay, and you have every right to be mad at me but… please just say something.”

“Like what?” Klaus said with a sigh, still staring blankly out of the window. 

“I don’t know. Tell me something I don’t know about you,” Diego said, just happy to have started any dialog at all. He sensed Klaus rolling his eyes at him, but it was still something.

“My favorite color is kelly green,” he said flatly. He was just being difficult on purpose now, but it was still better than silence. 

“Who is Kelly?” Diego asked, genuinely having no fucking idea what that meant. He heard Klaus stifle a snort-snicker though and that felt nice.

“It’s just the name of the color, not a person. It’s basically Irish green, like a shamrock,” he said, then started digging in his inside coat pocket. He pulled out a deck of cards with bright green backs bound with another pink hair tie and then clicked on the dome light above them. “See, these are kelly green.”

“Are those _tarot_ cards? How much shit are you carrying in that coat, anyway?” Diego asked, wondering exactly how much one coat could hold. It wasn’t even cold out, but he was also wearing a leather jacket at the end of summer, so he couldn’t judge. 

“My whole life, basically,” Klaus said with a shrug, setting the cards on the bench seat between them. 

“So do you believe in that? Like tarot and ouija boards and stuff?” 

“Duh, why the hell do you think I got these?” Klaus asked, holding up both palms. Diego had forgotten about his ‘ _Hello_ ’ and ‘ _Goodbye_ ’ palm tattoos, not that he’d even made the Ouija board connection before this moment. He hadn’t even really noticed what they said until earlier that day back at the motel. “I’m um… I’m kind of psychic.”

“No you’re not,” Diego said dismissively, but it still made him smile.

“I am! I’m serious. Let me see your hand, I’ll show you,” Klaus said, holding his palm up for Diego to put his hand in. 

“I’m good,” Diego said, keeping his hands clutched around the steering wheel. 

“Okay, suit yourself. But this is what I did before the sexwork. I would read palms, except I don’t actually need to see the lines to know the things I know. That’s more ceremonial than anything,” Klaus said, eyeing Diego critically. “So, do you believe in anything metaphysical?”

“Not really,” Diego said with a one-shouldered shrug. 

“Not even God?”

“Do you?”

“I guess not,” Klaus said, also shrugging. “I believe in something though, because why else would I just know things about people? Like… just from talking to you, I know your mom’s name is Grace. You think about her a lot. It radiates off you like warm sunshine, even though you’re more of a thunder cloud, yourself.”

Thankfully there was nobody around them on the freeway at the moment, because Diego stared at Klaus for at least a solid 20 seconds without looking back at the road. His emotions were mixed, but being uncomfortable overruled the rest. He had a hard enough time opening up to people, the last thing he wanted to know was that actual fucking mind readers existed. 

“Don’t do that,” Diego said, breaking their gaze and looking back at the road. He had no idea how the fuck Klaus knew that, but he didn’t like it, even though what he’d said was… kind of sweet. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it. It’s just… intuition, I guess. But I’m right though, huh?”

“Yes. But you must have seen my tattoo,” Diego said, stubbornly refusing to believe that Klaus could just _know_ that. On his ribs under his left peck there was a cross with wings and ‘Grace’ underneath that he’d gotten in prison. 

“What tattoo? The only ones I’ve seen are your face one and the barbed wire on your knuckles,” Klaus said. “You’ve literally been clothed head to toe since I’ve met you. You even slept in your jacket and jeans like a weirdo. I promise I haven’t seen a tattoo.”

Diego racked his brain trying to remember if he’d taken his shirt off at all in the last 24 hours, and it finally occurred to him.

“When we stopped at the rest stop in Pennsylvania. I changed my shirt,” Diego said, snapping his fingers. Klaus rolled his eyes.

“Okay, but I promise I was much more preoccupied with what you did like an hour before that. I wasn’t taking time to read your tattoos,” Klaus said. “You don’t have to believe me. I could tell you more but then you’ll be mad at me again.”

“How come you stopped doing that as a job?” Diego asked, ignoring Klaus’ last statement because he was right about that, too. 

“Because people don’t actually want to hear the truth. It also doesn’t pay enough to live on, unless you’re like a 1-900 number scam artist,” Klaus said, reaching in his coat pocket and pulling out his little baggie of pills. Diego glanced over at him spilling a couple in his hand and rolled his eyes.

“Why do you have to do that all the time,” he said. He usually had little use for junkies, and based on the amount of times he’d already watched Klaus take pills, he was certainly that. 

“Because I like being numb, duh. Have you never heard of addiction?” Klaus said, throwing the pills in his mouth and swallowing them dry.

“Yeah, and it’s a shitty way to live your life,” Diego said, hoping it wasn’t going to trigger another argument. But it’s just how he felt. He’d watched countless junkies be thrown in prison and then go through horrible withdrawal, with zero medical support. It was fucking ugly and upsetting, not to mention all the horrible shit they did to their friends and families before they even went to jail.

Klaus shrugged off one sleeve of his coat and exposed the inside of his elbow, slapping it with 2 fingers. 

“No track marks, no nose bleeds,” Klaus said. “Believe it or not, I’m doing a lot better now than I was this time last year. Painkillers aren’t the same kind of addiction.”

“Yeah, okay,” Diego said, shaking his head. That might be the dumbest thing he’d heard Klaus say thus far. “Opiates are opiates, it doesn’t matter how you take them.”

“That’s not even true! A couple percocet compared to a syringe full of heroin is nothing,” Klaus said, like he genuinely had deluded himself to believe that.

“Klaus… it still controls your life. It’s still a drug. I think you’re in denial, here.”

“It does _not_ control my life,” Klaus said, but his voice lacked confidence this time. 

“Alright, if you ran out today, would you be okay? It doesn’t look like you have enough in that little bag to even make it to Seattle at the rate you take them,” Diego said. 

“You think this is all I have on me?” Klaus said, holding up his little baggie but missing the point. Yet again he reached in his coat and pulled out a sandwich-size ziplock bag with at least 60 more pills in it.

“What the _fuck_ , dude? Are you trying to add 20 more years to our sentence if we get caught?” Diego snapped, feeling his temper flare again. 

“I got them off Craig when I took his money. I wasn’t going to _leave_ them,” Klaus said, shoving the bag back in his pocket. “Even if I wasn’t going to take them myself, they are still worth a bunch of money.”

“You’re un-fucking-believable,” Diego said, perhaps re-evaluating his decision to bring a fucking junkie on a road trip across the country.

“Look, I’ve been on drugs since I was 13 years old. If you think I’m going to stop just because you don’t like it, keep dreaming,” Klaus said defensively. “Some people need to be numb to survive, okay? Maybe you should try it sometime, you wouldn’t be so uptight.”

“I don’t need fucking _drugs,_ Klaus. Life already sucks hard enough without adding an addiction to the list of bullshit I have to deal with,” Diego said, glaring at him for even suggesting such a thing.

“Oh, but you _do_ have an addiction, honey,” Klaus said bitterly. “Don’t think I missed the look in your eye when you slit Craig’s throat. It’s a rush for you, just like a drug."

“Are you trying to get fucking kicked out of this car right now?” Diego snapped again, barely keeping his temper in check. He could feel his hands starting to shake on the steering wheel and he swallowed hard.

He hadn’t been this truly offended in a long time, but the worst part was that Klaus wasn’t far from wrong. He _could have_ stopped last night. He could have just knocked the guy out and let Klaus get away. He had Craig disarmed and weak enough to not even fight back - the murder was… self indulgent, and he knew it. It had been one of the biggest things bothering him since the moment it happened, the thing he was trying the hardest to ignore. He’d lost control completely and made a _horrible_ decision, but… he would be lying to himself if he said he didn’t experience a sick amount of satisfaction in the moment. Just like he had when he’d cut his dad’s throat, but at least that one was easy enough to explain away with a justifiable motive. There was no justifying it this time. He was a straight up murderer in this case, and no excuse he could tell himself would make that less real.

“Like I said, people don’t like hearing the truth,” Klaus said, crossing his arms again and glaring back at Diego. “If you want to kick me out, fine. I’ll hitchhike. But don’t think you can drag me for something when you have just as many skeletons in your closet, Diego.”

Diego wanted to be furious at him, but he knew that Klaus’ words were a ‘checkmate’ against anything he had to say. He had no room to ever judge Klaus for anything he did, not after the shit that Diego had pulled to get them in this situation to begin with. He took a deep breath, trying to collect himself again. They were having such a decent conversation before he started judging Klaus for his addiction, he wanted to get them back there. Anything to not think about what he’d done anymore.

“I’m not letting you hitchhike,” he said, sighing. “Let’s change the subject?”

In spite of being extremely aggravated by Klaus’ accusation, he was also proud of him in a weird way. It was the first time he’d really stood up for himself against Diego’s attitude, even if it was just out of denial.

“Where are we now, anyway?” Klaus said, jumping on the opportunity to talk about literally anything else. 

“Still about 3 hours from Chicago,” Diego said, glancing at the car clock. “But I think we’re going to figure out a way to go around the city because I think there is a crazy amount of traffic there. We’re going to hit another gas station soon because I need to get coffee, I’ll figure it out then.”

“I’ve always wanted to go there. Are you sure we can’t at least drive through?” 

“I’m trying to get us to Madison by at least 1AM. We would just be stopping for dinner anyway, it’s not like you would get to take a sightseeing tour,” Diego said, but Klaus was giving him puppy dog eyes that apparently he couldn’t resist. He sighed again and rolled his eyes, mostly at himself. “... I guess it’s late, the traffic might not be so bad. Probably.”

“Yes! We’re so going, I’ll even buy your dinner,” Klaus said, smiling brightly. “I’ll be able to cross that off my bucket list.”

“Oh yeah, what else is on your bucket list?” Diego asked. He was thankful they’d moved away from heated discussion, anyway. 

“Well, I guess I don’t have an official list. I mostly want to travel, there are so many places I’d like to see before I die. I want to lie on a beach in the Bahamas with a coconut drink in hand, I want to surf off the coast of California and sip on authentic Mexican tequila in Cancún. There are like 15 places in Europe alone I’d like to visit,” Klaus rattled off passionately, until he sighed. “But I don’t have any realistic hope of ever doing those things, you know? When would I ever have the means for that?”

“You didn’t think you’d make it to Chicago before yesterday, so don’t give up,” Diego said, making Klaus smile again.

“It’s kind of hard to get a passport when you’re a fugitive, but that’s still a really sweet sentiment. Thank you,” Klaus said, reaching out to pat Diego’s arm and then thinking better of it. Maybe he did learn lessons, after all. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Don’t you have anything you want to do before you die?”

“Not really,” Diego said, because the only things he wanted to do were pretty personal.

“Aww, tell me! I know you have to want something out of life,” Klaus said.

“I want to visit my mom’s grave in Florida,” Diego admitted, and immediately regretted it. He could feel his emotions stirring just from saying it out loud, and he was _not_ about to tear up in front of Klaus.

“Oh Diego, I’m _so_ sorry. I didn’t realize she had passed,” Klaus said, hand over his heart. 

“You mean your ‘psychic powers’ didn’t tell you that much?” Diego sassed, but Klaus seemed to realize it was a defense mechanism instead of an insult and didn’t react. 

“No, they didn’t. All I know is that you guys were close, and that all you wanted to do was protect her,” Klaus said, and Diego could feel his throat tightening as he resisted the notion to get choked up. “I really hope you get to do that someday.”

“What about your parents?” Diego asked, hoping to steer the topic away from his own past. Then he remembered that Klaus had mentioned foster parents and realized that might be too sensitive of a subject, too. 

“I don’t know them, really, only their names,” Klaus said, seemingly unfazed by the personal question. “Charlotte and Elliott Quinn. They both went to prison when I was really little, and I never bothered to see what became of them. They could still be in there for all I know.”

“Weren’t you curious to know what happened to them?”

“Not really. They were both arrested for overdosing in their car in a Taco Bell parking lot, with me in the back seat. My mom’s purse was jammed full with packets of heroin so they got her on child endangerment, possession and intent to sell,” Klaus said, shrugging. “So I never cared to know what happened to them. They clearly didn’t give a shit about me, so why bother? It’s not like either of them have come looking for me either.”

“ _Jesus_ , that’s fucked up,” Diego said, certainly not expecting any of those words. “So that’s how you ended up in foster care?”

“Yep. I haven’t particularly cared about what happened to any of them either, except my brother Ben’s family,” Klaus said.

“You have a brother?”

“Yes, but not by blood. One of the families that fostered me had a son that I got pretty attached to. He was one of the only foster siblings that didn’t hate me on sight. I still consider him my brother even though… even though I haven’t seen him since I was 16.”

“Why don’t you look him up? Maybe he would still want to see you?” 

“I don’t think so,” Klaus said, his voice so dejected that it tugged at Diego’s heart strings. “We didn’t part on the best terms. I’m pretty good at burning bridges, even the good ones like Ben.”

“Maybe you would be surprised. People can overcome a lot of drama if they care about each other, you know?”

“Not this kind of drama,” Klaus said, playing with the bracelets on his wrists self consciously. He was being vague, which was unlike him, so Diego decided to let it go.

“Well, it sounds like we both had shitty childhoods, huh?” 

“Would either of us be here right now if we didn’t?” Klaus asked, reaching for Diego’s pack of smokes on the seat between them. He lit two and handed one to Diego.

“I guess not,” Diego said, taking the cigarette and cracking the window. 

“Anyway, are we stopping soon because now I suddenly need to pee like crazy,” Klaus said around his cigarette, squinting with one eye as smoke coiled into his face. 

“Yeah, next exit has several gas stations,” Diego said, realizing just how bad he needed that coffee as he failed to stifle a yawn. They hadn’t even been awake very long, but driving this long exhausted him easily. 

They made it to the gas station pretty quickly, even though Klaus whined about Diego passing the first two that were conveniently right off the freeway.

“Will you grab me a Pepsi while you’re in there? The bathroom looks like it’s on the outside,” Klaus said, already unbuckling his seat belt before Diego even parked. 

“No, we have a whole case of water in the back. You need to drink some,” Diego said as he parked. 

“No way, you can’t make me,” Klaus said, wrinkling his nose. “Besides, it’s _warm_ from being in the car all day. Yuck.”

“Fine, I’ll buy you a cold one in here, but you’re drinking some fucking water, Klaus.”

“No! You’re not the boss of me,” Klaus said, trying to open the door but Diego locked it. “Unlock the door so I can get out before I piss in this seat!”

“Only if you promise to drink the water,” Diego said, smothering a chuckle at the way Klaus was frantically trying to get the door to unlock. Diego kept pressing the ‘lock’ button repeatedly like a bratty kid every time Klaus pulled the lock up. 

“Fine, you bastard. Now please, I’m begging you,” Klaus whined, hand hovering on the handle as he started doing the potty-dance in the seat. 

As soon as Diego relented, Klaus opened the door and shot out of the car like a rocket. Diego did let himself laugh then, shaking his head as he watched Klaus sprint to the bathroom on the side of the building. It felt nice to mess with someone in a lighthearted way for once. 

Before they got back on the road Diego bought one of those flimsy styrofoam coolers and a bag of ice from the gas station. He set it in the back seat and filled it with the ice and a bunch of the water bottles from the case. No more excuses, the water was going to be cold now and he was going to make Klaus drink it, dammit.

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me,” Klaus said, once they were back on the freeway. He glared at the sport-capped water bottle on his lap and folded his arms.

“You’re going to get really thirsty on this trip if you don’t drink it,” Diego said, holding the wheel in one hand and a hot coffee in the other. They really needed to do something about the cupholder situation in this car. 

“Ugh. I’ve lived this long drinking everything else, I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to you,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes.

“Because you’re not going to keep living complication-free forever. Wait until you get a kidney stone, you’ll regret your attitude. Especially with all the added acetaminophen in the drugs you take. Your liver is probably shot too, if you’re not flushing that shit out,” Diego said, blowing into the little hole in the coffee cup lid. 

“Whatever, I feel fine,” Klaus said, pouting like a professional. He leaned forward and clicked on the radio, apparently done speaking to Diego for a while. 

“Just drink the water, you big baby. You act like I’m making you drink poison,” he said, and Klaus ignored him. He leaned forward and turned the radio up louder to tune Diego out. 

Not that it should have surprised Diego, but it turns out Klaus had horrible taste in music. For the first half hour Diego assumed it was just because he didn’t know any new music whatsoever since he hadn’t really listened to the radio in eight years. As the next half hour passed, Diego realized it was just because Klaus’ taste was appalling. Who the fuck was Katy Perry and why was she allowed to make music this fucking bad? 

“Klaus, oh my god. Please pick something else. I can’t take this anymore,” Diego said, finally reaching his breaking point. 

If he had to listen to another song about being ‘young forever’ or ‘holding on for tonight’ he was going to lose it. Klaus really liked that fucking Chandelier song, he let it play twice on different stations and both times Diego wanted to hang _himself_ from a chandelier. Especially with Klaus trying to hit the high notes and failing miserably. 

“Oh I’m sorry, am I being annoying? Almost as annoying as you bullying me about water?” Klaus said, giving Diego an irritating smirk.

“Wow, that’s the same, sure,” Diego said, reaching forward to turn the radio off. 

“You’re like no fun at all, are you?”

“Define ‘fun,’ and tell me when you think the last time was that I’ve been allowed to have it?” Diego said, making Klaus roll his eyes at his cynicism. 

“Well, we’re going to have fun on this trip or we’re going to kill each other. So get used to it,” Klaus said, turning the radio back on. He was getting awfully brave.

“This isn’t a _vacation,_ Klaus. This isn’t supposed to be fun. We’re literally running for our lives, here,” Diego said, turning the radio off again and staring at Klaus. “Do you ever take anything seriously?”

“Not if I can help it. That’s why I have no wrinkles, see,” Klaus said, leaning close to Diego even though it was definitely too dark to see. Diego looked anyway, marveling against his will at just how pretty Klaus really was, even in the dim glow of streetlights.

“Good for you,” Diego said, turning his attention back to the road and blushing. It really wasn’t fair that Klaus was this attractive when Diego hadn’t been attracted to anyone in forever, or like possibly ever? Klaus just had this magnetism about him that Diego couldn’t understand, even when he was being fucking weird or annoying. 

“I’m going to make you have fun before we get to Seattle, I don’t care how serious everything is,” Klaus said, finally taking a drink of the water. Until that moment all he had done was gnaw the sport cap all to hell.

“I guess... I forgot how,” Diego said, feeling a little less stiff now that Klaus had finally stopped being a baby. If Klaus could get out of his comfort zone, Diego would have to try, too. 

“Well that’s fucking depressing. We will work on reminding you. And it starts with liking Katy Perry,” Klaus said, turning the radio back on again. “All you need is a little ‘Waking Up in Vegas’ kind of night.”

“I sincerely doubt that, man,” Diego said, but he smiled anyway. 

“What music do you like, anyway?” Klaus asked, and Diego had to think about it really hard. 

“I don’t know,” Diego said, trying to rack his brain for anything he used to care about. 

“C’mon, you have to have cared about something as a teenager,” Klaus said, changing the channel to a classic rock station. The Eagles blasted out of the speakers.

“Not fucking _that,_ ” Diego said, changing the channel immediately.

“No Eagles?”

“No Eagles,” Diego said, shaking it off. “That’s the shit my dad listened to.”

“Oh, shit yeah I understand that,” Klaus said, giving Diego that sympathetic look.

“I liked… Papa Roach, My Chemical Romance, and Alice In Chains... and The Used? I think they were called?” Diego said, digging deeply for anything he used to care about back in 2006.

“Oh! So like, corporate, angsty suicide rock? I can work with that,” Klaus said, trying to find a station that didn’t play exclusively pop or weird ass folk rock about little lion men. “That’s definitely not what I was expecting.”

“What were you expecting, exactly?” Diego asked, but it was more of a challenge. He knew what he looked like, he knew the dudes that looked like him tended to lean toward rap and hip hop, but it was a stereotype. Klaus missed the challenge in his voice and seemed to answer genuinely. 

“I don’t know, nothing in particular. I just haven’t met a person that cared about fucking _Alice in Chains_ in like 12 years,” Klaus said, stopping on a station that was playing Metallica. It was better than Katy Perry, anyway. “So you were an emo kid?”

“No way,” Diego said defensively. That phrase brought back memories of douchebag kids at his school with ripped jeans, dirty Converse, eyeliner and lip piercings.

“Yes you were, I can see it now,” Klaus said, giggling to himself. “You were totally an emo kid. I love it.”

“I was not! I wasn’t any ‘kind’ of kid. Nobody liked me,” Diego said with a frown. “I didn’t exactly have a clique.” 

“Emo comes from the soul, not from the people you hang out with,” Klaus said, but then Diego’s words seemed to sink a little deeper. “Wait, did you not have _any_ friends?”

“No, I was just the angry kid everybody was afraid of,” Diego said, suddenly much less interested in continuing this thread of conversation. He hated thinking about high school, or any grade level of school at all, really. 

“Well, I’m your friend, so you don’t get to say that anymore,” Klaus said, taking another drink from his water bottle. 

“You don’t even know me,” Diego said, but he would be a liar if he said hearing Klaus call him his ‘friend’ didn’t warm his heart just a little.

“I know you’re an emo kid, and that you saved my life, and that’s good enough,” Klaus said with an affectionate smile that Diego saw out of the corner of his eye. 

“If you say so,” Diego said, blushing again. He still couldn’t figure out why Klaus wasn’t afraid of him like everyone else, but it felt… really nice to have someone think he wasn’t just a big scary monster. 

“I do. Now shut up and find a song you like,” Klaus said, gesturing to the radio.

By the time they made it just outside of Chicago, Klaus had made him listen to more music than he ever cared to hear. He turned the radio off when they started to hit metropolitan traffic, though. It was hard enough for him to drive in that kind of traffic in silence, let alone with something irritating playing in the background. 

“Oh my gosh, we should eat at the Hard Rock Cafe. I bet they have live music,” Klaus said, pulling down the visor mirror to look at himself in the dim lights on either side of the mirror. Diego watched him pull an eyeliner pencil out of his coat with the bottomless pockets and start applying it liberally. 

“We’re going to eat at whatever place is closest to the interstate, we don’t have time for tourist attractions,” Diego said. 

“Why are you in such a hurry? It’s not like we’re any less safe here than in Seattle,” Klaus said, capping his pencil and snapping the visor closed. “This is the ‘fun’ I’m talking about, Diego. Everything from here to Seattle is like, cornfields and mountains. We have plenty of time to be safe and boring. Let’s do something fun one time. Please?”

Diego sighed heavily but didn’t respond, trying to focus on not rear-ending anyone in bumper to bumper traffic. He had no interest in having ‘fun’ when all he could think about were paranoid scenarios about them being caught out in public. Diego watched Klaus pull the folded up map on the dashboard toward himself and stare at the Chicago layout. Apparently he knew just enough about maps to figure out where they were, and he tapped Diego’s arm excitedly. 

“Oh hey, hey, hey,” Klaus said, bending the map back the wrong way to isolate a single area. He pointed at a spot that Diego couldn’t see in the dark. “This interstate we’re on goes _so_ close to Navy Pier, we should definitely go to that instead! They have food vendors, and carnival rides and other neat junk. I saw a special about it on the Travel channel once.”

“Don’t you think it will be closed at this hour?” Diego asked, and as if God himself answered just to mock him, a huge red firework rose up over Lake Michigan in the distance. And then a blue one, and green, and a shimmery gold. Klaus grinned.

“Not in the summer,” he said, like he just won an argument they weren’t having. 

“I hate this already,” Diego said, sighing and trying to follow signs for Navy Pier even though he would rather take several punches in the face.

“Oh come on, there will be lots of people there. Nobody would ever recognize us in a sea of faces. There is nothing to worry about,” Klaus said, opening the visor again and slamming the incorrectly folded map up inside. 

“I know you don’t know this about me yet, but I’m not really a ‘crowds’ sort of guy,” Diego said, already feeling the anxiety mounting. 

“I could have guessed, but you will be okay, I promise,” Klaus said, already shucking his coat and leaving him in just Diego’s black tank top and leather pants. Diego didn’t have nearly as much confidence about that, but he took the exit anyway.

Parking had been a nightmare, and then by the time they piled out of the car and made it down to the pier, it was clear that everyone was leaving for the night. Apparently the fireworks had been the end of the celebration, and Klaus had never looked more disappointed. Diego wanted to enjoy the relief of not having to do the thing he didn’t want to do, but Klaus’ face and slumped shoulders made him feel bad about it. Diego sighed and dared to clap him on the shoulder and give it a small, reassuring squeeze. 

“Hey, it’s okay. Maybe we can hit it on the next road trip,” he said, even though it was an empty solution. When the hell were they ever going to be coming back here?

“Thank you for trying for me, anyway. I know this isn’t your idea of fun,” Klaus said, his spirits seemingly lifted just from Diego being nice to him. 

“Well, it’s prettier than I thought it would be, anyway,” Diego admitted, looking around at all the twinkling city lights reflecting off the lake.

“Yeah, it is,” Klaus said with a smile and a bit of a dreamy tone, but Diego realized Klaus wasn’t staring at the lights, or the pier or the lake. Klaus was staring at _him._ He blushed, but before he could say anything awkward, Klaus continued. “We passed a little pub on the way over, want to walk back there for food? That’s probably a lot more your speed, anyway.”

“U-um, sure, that- that sounds fine,” Diego said, stumbling over his words and still feeling a little flustered. 

There was no way he’d misinterpreted that, right? Had Klaus really just done that super cheesy movie thing where the girl says something is beautiful and the guy agrees, but he’s looking at her? Is that really what just fucking happened to _him?_ It seemed so wildly unlikely that Diego was almost willing to believe he’d imagined it. The very last thing he would ever consider himself was ‘ _pretty._ ’

“Are you coming?” Klaus said, bringing Diego back to attention. Klaus was a few paces head, turned back to see why he wasn’t following. 

“Oh, sorry,” Diego said, picking up the pace to fall in step with him again. 

The pub was small but slammed on a Saturday night. They managed to get a high top table toward the back, even though Diego would have preferred a booth. The bar theme was ‘sports,’ but still classier than the dive bars he’d been in since his release. It was named O’Malley’s or O’Toole’s or some other O’-something, Diego didn’t pay attention. The ceiling was purposely unfinished for the ‘painted pipes and raw lighting effect;’ everything had a sleek black brick and honey-stained wood look. If it was less busy and he wasn’t currently a fugitive, Diego might really like this place.

“Are you okay?” Klaus asked, trying to catch Diego’s eyes. He had been having a hard time looking at him since they left the pier, but he tried to get over it and make eye contact.

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” he said, even though he had plenty of reason not to be. 

“It’s just crowded and bright in here so I wanted to make sure,” Klaus said, leaning forward so Diego could hear him over the music and chatter.

“It’s fine, just keep an eye on the door,” Diego said, since Klaus was the one facing the front of the bar.

“Nobody is going to find us here, Diego, it’s okay,” Klaus said, picking up the drink menu. “Would you care if I have a drink?”

“No, why the hell would I care? You’re paying,” Diego said. “But keep in mind that I’m not carrying you back to the car, so don’t get shitfaced.”

“I won’t,” Klaus said distractedly. 

“Good evening, guys! My name is Kelsey, I’ll be your server tonight,” said a young waitress that had just walked up to their table and placed menus in front of them. “Can I start you off with a drink?”

“Just water with lemon, thanks,” Diego said, smirking when Klaus rolled his eyes at him across the table. 

“Vodka cranberry, please,” Klaus said, tucking the skinny drink menu back in the holder behind the Keno tickets. 

“Alright great, I’ll get those right up,” she said, taking off swiftly. 

Diego buried himself in his menu for a while, mostly because he was still preoccupied with what Klaus had said earlier. He had no fucking idea what to say now - no small talk was coming to mind and he was certainly not about to address it. Maybe Diego was just crazy and it meant nothing, or maybe it did and Klaus actually found him attractive, but either way he was in a weird place about it. 

“Do you like pizza?” Klaus asked, forcing him to actually speak. 

“Who doesn’t like pizza?” Diego said, folding his menu in front of himself. “Is that what you want?”

“Kind of, I haven’t had good pizza in eons,” Klaus said, staring at the pizza list on the back of the menu. 

“I’ll eat pizza with you. As long as you don’t put fucking pineapple on it like a freak.”

“No, even I’m not that weird,” Klaus said with a chuckle. “What do you like?”

“Green pepper, onion, black olive,” Diego said, fully expecting the exact nose-crinkle face Klaus pulled. 

“Why are you this way?”

“What way is that, exactly?”

“ _Just_ vegetables? _Just_ water with lemon? Don’t you ever do anything bad for you?”

“You watched me smash a big, greasy cheeseburger before we left Ohio, dude,” Diego said, rolling his eyes. “Just get what you want, I’m really not that picky.”

“Fine, we’ll get all your vegetables but I’m adding bacon,” Klaus said, setting the menu down. “I’ll drink your fucking water but I draw the line at meatless pizza.”

“Okay, I told you I don’t mind,” Diego said, smiling in spite of being hassled about his pizza preference. “I’ve eaten literal garbage in solitary, so nothing actually upsets me anymore.”

“Wait, you were held in solitary?” Klaus asked, suddenly giving Diego 100% of his attention. 

“Yep,” Diego said vaguely. He really needed to stop dropping information into conversation when he had no interest in expanding on the subject. 

“Jesus, Diego. How come?” Klaus said, resting his elbows on the table and covering his mouth with his hands. 

“I punched a guard, like a lot,” he said, folding his arms over his chest and leaning back in the chair. “So, it got me 30 days.”

“ _What?_ ” Klaus said, leaning forward on his elbows in shock. “Isn’t 10 days like, the psychological limit before it’s considered torture?”

“Probably, but you think anyone gives a shit about that there? Other guys had been in there for months. I got off easy considering how bad I beat the shit out of that guy,” Diego said, feeling a shiver down his spine even though it was hot and stuffy as hell in the bar. 

“What the _fuck_? How is that supposed to correct behavior? How do they ever expect to reform people if they are literally torturing them? Of course people are going to be repeat offenders if they are fucking _broken_ and driven mad,” Klaus rattled off, looking more disturbed with every question he asked out loud. 

“Rehabilitating criminals has _never_ been the goal, that’s some political bullshit they tell the public to gloss over the more fucked up things they do to people in there,” Diego said, deciding they needed to change the conversation soon. Didn’t they order fucking drinks?

“How...how did you get through it?” Klaus asked, and Diego wished he hadn’t. He sighed, but hardened himself enough to explain anyway. It’s not like Klaus was ever going to stop asking for personal details, so he might as well get used to it. 

“I worked out constantly. And I slept a lot, when I managed to ignore the horrible, endless screaming of other inmates, anyway,” Diego said, deciding that if Klaus wanted to hear the grizzly details, he would tell him. “At first you think it’s going to be fine, you know? 30 days alone, away from all the fucking assholes I had to try and please every day. I thought I would love having a break from the fighting and the bullshit, but it is no vacation by any means. You don’t know what day it is, you don’t know what time it is. Reality doesn’t fucking exist and all you hear is screaming and crying and begging from the cells around you. At one point I convinced myself I was actually dead, and that was what Hell really was. I bit my own arm to see if I would still bleed, because if I was dead I wouldn’t bleed, you know?” 

“Diego, my god, I’m so sorry that happened to you. I wouldn’t last 3 days without speaking to anyone, let alone 30,” Klaus said behind his hands, genuinely shaken by the story. He looked like he had more to say but the server finally showed up with their drinks. It was a good thing too, because if Klaus asked why he’d beat up the guard to begin with, neither of them would be in a good place.

“Alright, sorry about the wait, guys!” she said cheerfully, setting their drinks in front of them and clearly missing the somber mood between them. “Can I start you off with an appetizer, or are you ready to order?”

Diego watched Klaus’ face change between disturbed by Diego’s story, fake cheer for the sake of the waitress, and then it slipped into panic. 

“Um, I think just the drinks will be good for now, thank you,” Klaus said, giving her a fake smile and handing her the menus. Diego frowned and felt his anxiety spike just from Klaus’ expression.

“What’s wrong?” Diego said under his breath as soon as the waitress walked away. 

“Do _not_ turn around, but a cop just walked in here,” Klaus said, leaning close over the table again. “There is no reason to freak out, he’s just talking to the bartender.”

“Ok, well I’m _definitely_ freaking out,” Diego said, gripping his water glass almost hard enough to shatter it.

“It’s fine, we’re not doing anything suspicious. But I think we should still get out of here as discreetly as possible, anyway,” Klaus said, tearing his eyes away from the cop and looking at Diego. “Tell me your favorite color.”

“What? I don’t think now is-”

“We need to look casual, just talk to me about anything,” Klaus said, taking a drink of his vodka cranberry and then putting his fake smile back on. 

“My favorite color is black. Or red,” Diego said tonelessly, barely able to focus on how to use words. 

“You dramatic bitch, of course it’s black,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and smiling for real.

“We need to go, Klaus,” Diego said, taking a drink of his water because his mouth dried out completely the second Klaus mentioned the cop.

“Just sit tight for a minute, I think he just ordered something,” Klaus said, still keeping his eyes on Diego.

“I’m going to throw up,” Diego said, closing his eyes. 

“We definitely need to cover that tattoo in the morning, though,” Klaus said. “Up until this moment I thought your shiner would draw most of the attention, but now I’m not so sure.”

“Both are probably enough to draw too much attention,” Diego said, wishing he’d figured out how to cover up the tattoo sooner. The black eye was fine by itself, probably, but along with his entire look otherwise, even that was suspicious.

“Alright, she handed him a bag and he’s walking out,” Klaus said, somehow managing to watch the cop out of his peripheral vision while keeping his eyes on Diego’s face. “Ok great, he went the other direction from the parking garage. Let’s go.”

“Fuck, I hate this,” Diego said, his legs practically buckling under him when he hopped down from the tall chair. Klaus pulled a $20 out of his pants and left it on the table, then slammed the rest of his drink. 

“Ready, honey?” Klaus said loudly, smiling brightly and holding his hand out as soon as he hopped off the chair. Diego knew the smile was fake and that this was a distraction, but he couldn’t figure out how it would help. 

“Oh, leaving so soon?” the waitress said behind Diego, startling him to his core. He immediately took Klaus’ hand, quickly figuring out that he typically had a method to his madness. 

“Yeah, this guy already had one too many on the pier, so I need to get him home. You know how it is,” Klaus said conversationally. Diego was gripping Klaus’ hand tightly and trying to look drunk instead of terrified. 

“Alright, you guys have a great night,” she said cheerfully, suspecting nothing. Klaus nodded and began to drag Diego out of the bar.

Once they were out on the sidewalk in front of the bar Diego could hardly breathe. He knew it was an overreaction, he knew there was no way in hell that cop was paying attention to them. It’s not like this was even going to be the first cop they crossed paths with, it was bound to happen again in the almost 3,000 miles they had to travel. They were going to have to handle the next time with a bit more finesse, because their only saving grace was the fact that it was so busy in there. Next time his tattoo would be covered though, and that would be a huge help. 

As they made their way around the block toward the parking garage Diego felt Klaus give his hand a little squeeze to see if he was okay. Up until that moment he hadn’t even realized that he hadn’t let go of Klaus’ hand since they left the bar. That sent another spear of anxiety through his chest and he let go immediately, clearing his throat. 

“Sorry,” he said, feeling both stupid and also… _sad_. He couldn’t believe he felt this way, but the moment he lost Klaus’ warmth against his palm he... missed it. Who knew that holding hands could be so grounding and reassuring, because he felt even less okay now than he had before they left the bar. He wasn’t about to start holding fucking hands with Klaus just because he was a scared little bitch, though, no matter how nice it felt. 

“Don’t be, I don’t mind,” Klaus said sincerely, bumping him with his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone Big Bad Diego held my hand for 90 seconds.”

“Shut up,” Diego snapped, feeling his cheeks burn. It wasn’t Klaus’ fault that he couldn’t handle being touched, but he still didn’t want it to be acknowledged either. He heard Klaus sigh softly next to him, but he wasn’t apologizing this time. 

They made it to the car without any further incident, but Diego couldn’t take off just yet. His hands were shaking too bad and his heart still hadn’t found it’s normal rhythm yet. He gripped the steering wheel and closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths. He could feel Klaus looking at him, but he kept his eyes shut. He had no idea how he was going to survive this trip if he couldn’t even handle a brief run in with a police officer. 

“Diego… I’m really sorry,” Klaus said, his voice so small that Diego almost didn’t hear him over the blood pounding in his ears. He finally opened his eyes and looked over, and Klaus looked as miserable as he felt. 

“For what?” Diego said, but he already knew what for. 

“Because… you tried to warn me that this was a bad idea. I was being really selfish and stupid,” he said, scrubbing his face with his hands. “I should have listened to you.”

“It’s not your fault, Klaus,” Diego said, finally feeling his heart rate slow down. “It could have happened anywhere. We just need to be prepared for it next time. I’m not mad at you.”

“Well, let’s get the fuck out of Chicago, either way,” Klaus said, and Diego couldn’t agree more.

“Alright, we will find food in a little while,” Diego said, shifting the car in reverse and backing out of the parking space. 

“I can wait until we get to Madison. To be honest I kind of lost my appetite,” Klaus said, picking up his water bottle and nervously chewing on the cap again. 

“Me too. We should be there in about 3 hours or less, depending on traffic,” Diego said, heading back toward the interstate. 

Neither of them felt like talking for the next couple hours, which Diego was thankful for. It let him have time to process everything that had just happened, and think about how they could have handled the situation better for the future. He also thought about Klaus calling him pretty, which he still couldn’t fully wrap his mind around. Of course he also felt the same way about Klaus, but he never expected Klaus to reciprocate. It didn’t matter though, nothing could ever come of it. The last thing either of them needed was romantic involvement muddying up an already complicated and dangerous situation. Plus, Diego didn’t believe he was capable of ever really being with anyone, romantically or intimately. He was too fucked up in so many ways, many of which he couldn’t even understand himself. There was no way anyone would want anything to do with him if he ever opened up completely, it was too much. 

“Fuck, night driving is so boring. There isn’t even anything to look at,” Klaus said, slouching down even further in the seat and kicking his bare feet up on the dash with crossed ankles. Diego had noticed him getting restless and figured he couldn’t keep quiet for too much longer, but he missed the moment when Klaus lost his socks and shoes. 

“You can turn the radio on, I won’t complain,” Diego said, even though he had no interest in hearing music at the moment. “Get your gross feet off the dash, though.”

“My feet are _not_ gross!” Klaus exclaimed with genuine offense, wiggling his black-polished toes. “I happen to think I have cute feet.”

“All feet are gross,” Diego said, and he truly felt as such. 

“Well it’s good to know you don’t have a foot fetish, anyway. Those guys are exhausting,” Klaus said. Diego looked at him with a frown because he _knew_ how Klaus knew that, but it was still an upsetting thought. Klaus noticed his discomfort and giggled. “You don’t like talking about sex stuff, do you?”

“Not really,” Diego said, suddenly needing some air. He rolled down the window but still felt claustrophobic. 

“Are you like, against it all together or are you just that proper that you can’t talk about it?”

“I just don’t want to talk about it, especially not with you,” Diego said, wincing at his own words the moment they left his mouth.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Klaus asked, his smile turning into a frown. 

“It just means I don’t want to know about all the weird shit you do with your - uh, clients,” Diego said, knowing that didn’t sound any kinder. 

“Oh, well excuse me. I’ll keep my gross stories to myself, then,” Klaus said with an eye roll. “You’re such a jerk sometimes.”

“Not wanting to hear about some other dude’s fetishes does not make me a jerk! It makes me normal,” Diego spat. Klaus laughed humorlessly.

“I’ve literally never met anyone more not normal than you, Diego.”

“Likewise,” Diego said, rubbing one of his eyes with his fingers. 

“If what I do bothers you so much, why did you come see me every weekend? Where I work, even,” Klaus said, studying him critically.

“It doesn’t- I wasn’t- _ugh,_ Klaus, _please_. Forget I said anything,” Diego stammered, feeling like a fucking idiot.

“When are we going to be there? I need to be out of this car like, immediately,” Klaus said, taking his feet off the dash and sitting up. 

“That sign back there said the next exit had a couple motels, I’ll just stop there. We’re only like 20 minutes from Madison, and it’s better to be outside the city anyway,” Diego said, changing lanes to get off the freeway soon.

“Good,” Klaus snapped. If he could just tell Klaus the truth all of this could be avoided, but he was nowhere near ready to reveal that personal of a detail. 

Klaus didn’t speak to him for the rest of the drive, but he did let Diego order him some food at a drive thru. Diego figured the only reason they got into an argument was because they were both stressed, tired and hungry. By the time they had dinner, got checked in to the motel and dragged themselves into the room Klaus seemed to be over their little tiff. Diego was relieved about that, but he had never felt more exhausted. He’d never driven 10 hours in one day in his life. How in the hell was he going to keep this up for the next few days?

“I’ve been sitting in the car so long, I don’t want to go to bed yet,” Klaus said, whipping his tank top off and shucking his pants before crawling on the bed in his underwear. He reached for the remote on the table between the two beds. “Do you care if I watch something?”

“No, that’s fine. I’m not sure I could pass out just yet, anyway,” Diego said, digging a tank top and sweatpants out of his duffle bag, doing his best to avoid looking at Klaus sitting there in his damn underwear. He sighed and carried his stuff into the bathroom.

After brushing his teeth and changing into his pajamas, Diego walked back out to find Klaus lying on his stomach with his feet at the head of the bed. He had a pillow scrunched up under his chin, watching some cartoon Diego didn’t recognize. 

“Can you believe this place doesn’t have porn channels?” Klaus said, watching Diego walk past him in front of the TV.

“That’s the best news I’ve heard all day,” Diego said, rolling his eyes, but Klaus grabbed his wrist before he could get by. He barely resisted the urge to yank his hand away as Klaus eyed the tattoos on his left arm, but Klaus probably felt the slight instinctual jerk anyway. 

“Oh damn, did you get all that ink in prison?” Klaus asked, staring at the black, twisted, dead trees with 2 black crows flying overhead that wrapped around his forearm from front to back.

“Yes,” Diego said, but all he could focus on was the heat of Klaus’ fingers on his wrist.

“That’s actually really good for a shitty homemade tattoo gun. Must have hurt like a bitch, though,” he said, scanning the rest of Diego’s body for more. The only other visible ones were the edges of 2 Spanish phrases on each collarbone that were exposed above his tank top collar. He could tell Klaus wanted to ask what they were, but he must have figured that Diego wasn’t going to tell him, and he was right. 

“Not as bad as this did,” Diego said, showing him his other inner forearm.

“Holy fuck, is that a _brand?_ ” Klaus said, letting go of Diego’s left wrist and taking the right one, dragging it closer to his face. 

“Yep. Everyone in the gang had one,” Diego said, restraining his flinch as Klaus traced his fingertips over the raised, red scar of a 3 pointed crown. “You don’t know pain or fear until you’re held down by 3 huge dudes and seared with blazing hot metal when you’re only 17.”

“Fuck, Diego. That’s so fucked up. I’m so sorry,” he said with a disturbed expression, finally letting go. Once again Diego found himself missing his touch, but he shoved the feeling down as far as possible.

“It’s fine, I’m going to figure out how to get it covered later,” Diego said, walking away toward the other bed.

“Can you even cover a brand? I think… I think you’d have to burn it into something else because the skin will always be raised even if you tattoo it,” Klaus said, biting his lip and looking at Diego over his shoulder. 

“I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it,” Diego said, turning off the bedside lights, setting the alarm clock, and finally crawling into bed. 

“Alright, I guess I can try to sleep now, too,” Klaus said, turning off the TV and tearing up all the covers until he made a suitable sleeping nest.

“We’re leaving here pretty early, so rest up,” Diego said, pulling the sheets up to his neck and trying to close his eyes.

“Hey, do you think we could hit a thrift store or something before we leave town? I’ve kind of been wearing these clothes for a long time,” Klaus said, and that was definitely true. He didn’t have the luxury of a fully packed duffle bag like Diego did.

“Um, sure. There should be one around here. I can ask the front desk when we check out in the morning,” Diego said.

“Ok, cool. I honestly haven’t been able to buy myself clothes in forever, so that will be fun,” Klaus said, and Diego could hear the smile in his voice. 

Diego had never been so exhausted but wide awake at the same time. He was too anxious about so many things, he wasn’t sure his mind was ever going to calm down enough to sleep. After about 15 minutes of silence, he heard Klaus fidgeting in the other bed, so he must have been having the same problem. After another 10 minutes of fidgeting, he heard Klaus sit up and sigh. 

“Hey,” Klaus said softly. Diego sighed to himself.

“Hmm?”

“You don’t have to answer but… did something _happen_ to you in prison? Like, is that why you have the sex talk aversion, and why you don’t like to be touched and stuff?” Klaus asked, and Diego could tell he was trying to be as delicate as possible. “If so, I understand and I’m really sorry I pushed you to talk about my job and stuff earlier.”

“No, nothing like that happened, at least not to me,” Diego said after a few moments. He didn’t want to have this conversation now or ever, but he figured it would come out eventually. “It would have if I didn’t beat the fuck out of that guard, though.”

Diego heard Klaus gasp softly. 

“I assume nobody would have believed you if you said you were defending yourself?” 

“Definitely not. Unfortunately too many inmates lied about that kind of thing to avoid punishment or to frame a guard they didn’t like, so when it did happen nobody took the claim seriously without heavy proof.”

“That makes sense. Fucked up sense, but I believe it,” Klaus said. “What if it was like, inmate on inmate sort of assault? Would there be anyone to report that to?”

“You can report it, but it’s the same situation. Plus, the last thing you would _ever_ want to admit was that someone made you their bitch. You would keep that shit to yourself, because admitting any weakness at all opened you up for even more abuse and harassment,” Diego explained, but thinking about it was making his stomach churn. “Why do you think I joined a shitty gang?”

“For protection?”

“Yes. Well, that and I didn’t exactly have a choice since I was technically recruited against my will. But the membership came with certain undeniable perks, like people fearing you just by association,” Diego said, rolling over and clicking on the dim bedside light. He didn’t want to have this conversation in the dark anymore. Klaus was sitting up and staring at him, still hugging a pillow to his chest. 

“It must have been terrifying, being so young and around such violent people,” he said, chewing his thumb nail. 

“What makes you think I wasn’t one of the violent people?” Diego asked, and he saw Klaus visibly shiver.

“I don’t think that’s who you really are, though,” Klaus said softly, holding Diego’s eyes.

“I keep telling you that you don’t know me. I’ve hurt _a lot_ of people, Klaus, including Craig. Why would you think I was anything but a killer like the rest of them?”

“Because…” Klaus said, breaking their eye contact to look down, like he was struggling to find a good answer. “Because it’s not like, arbitrary violence or murder. You hurt people to protect yourself and others, because you have to.”

“Sure, whatever helps you sleep in the same room with me,” Diego said, sighing and reaching to turn off the light again. “Go to sleep, we have a long day tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update May 1st!


	4. The Tower: Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is my favorite chapter from this book! I think you're gonna like it a lot ;)

_** August 31st, 2015, 6:28am ** _

It wasn’t exactly easy for Diego to sleep, even when he really needed to. By 6:30 he was already awake despite lying down only four hours before that. It would have to be enough, because there was no chance he was falling back to sleep, not after those nightmares. This time he’d dreamed that Klaus turned him in to the police and was granted immunity for helping them catch a dangerous criminal. The reality that Klaus could probably _actually_ do that had never occurred to him. He sat up in bed and looked over at Klaus sleeping hard, face down with limbs tangled in sheets and head under the pillow instead of on it. 

Diego smiled softly in spite of the nightmare. Sure, he didn’t trust a single motherfucker in the world, but he still knew he didn’t need to add that to his list of things to be paranoid about. He didn’t know how he was so sure, but Klaus just _wouldn’t_ betray him like that. The only other thing he was as sure about was that he needed a cup of coffee. He sighed and dragged his weary body out of the bed. Normally he would work out if he woke up too early, but he just wasn’t in the mood this morning, plus he didn’t want to wake Klaus.

After pulling on his jacket and shoes, stuffing his pockets with the room key, cigarettes and wallet, and then leaving Klaus a little note on the motel notepad by the bed, he left the room. There had to be complimentary coffee somewhere in that shithole motel, most likely the lobby where he’d checked in. It only took him about four minutes to walk there from their room around the corner, and he had never been so happy to be correct. The front desk girl greeted him with a horribly cheerful tone as he walked over to the coffee carafes, and he grunted a response as he poured some in a styrofoam cup. He suddenly remembered he actually had other things to say to her, so he took a scalding hot drink and winced as it burned his tongue and throat.

Once he managed to compose himself into something less like a surly bear that had just been woken from hibernation, he approached the desk.

“How can I help you today?” she asked, smiling way too bright for quarter to seven in the goddamn morning.

“Do you know if there is a thrift store around here? And also like, a drug store?” he asked, noticing his voice was still a bit froggy from sleeping.

“The only thrift store we have in town is a Goodwill about seven miles north of here, and there is a Rite Aid just a few blocks from here. Or there is a Walmart across from the Goodwill on Crosby street, the main drag through town,” she said, and Diego tried to retain the information, but he had a hard time focusing on her chipper voice.

“Alright, thanks,” he said, forcing a polite smile and heading back out of the lobby. 

When he got back to the room Klaus was awake, sitting on the edge of the bed and rubbing his sleepy eyes. He was up earlier than Diego expected, but it was just as well. They had a lot of extra junk to do before they could actually hit the road, so the earlier the better. 

“Hey, there is coffee in the lobby if you want some,” Diego said, tossing the room key on the dresser. 

“I don’t actually drink coffee, I just like the smell. I’m more of a tea person,” Klaus said, bending to scoop up his pants from the floor. 

“They had that, too. Oh, and I talked to the front desk. There is a thrift store not too far from here, so we can still do that,” Diego said, setting his coffee on the bedside table and then fishing out his own clothes from his duffle bag. 

“Cool, because these pants are kinda nasty. I don’t even want to put them back on,” Klaus said. 

“Here,” Diego said, throwing him another pair of clean sweatpants from his bag. “I’m going to change and get ice for the cooler. Then we need to get out of here.”

“Okay, let me pee real quick and I can be ready in like three minutes or less,” Klaus said, hopping off the bed and racing into the bathroom before Diego. He sighed and went for the ice before changing. 

Klaus made good on his time estimate, already sitting in the car by the time Diego returned with the ice for the cooler, and a cup of hot water and a teabag. He handed Klaus his cup through the car window, and he never saw someone look so pleased by a simple cup of tea. Diego filled the cooler in the back seat, and then went back in the room to change quickly. After a quick scan of the room, he concluded they hadn’t forgotten anything, grabbed his cup of coffee and shut the door behind himself. Klaus was blowing on his tea when Diego threw his duffle bag in the back seat, still smiling from the nice gesture.

Diego decided to hit the drugstore first, since the Goodwill was likely still closed at this hour. They both seemed to perk up a little after the coffee and tea was gone, but Diego was still not very hyped about the idea of makeup.

“You’re going to be fine. I will help you, come on,” Klaus said, snickering at Diego’s grumpy face as they parked at the Rite Aid. 

“Can’t you just go in and grab it? Just get whatever you would get, I don’t care,” Diego said, touching his stupid tattoo self consciously. 

“Diego you’re like five to seven shades darker than me. I’m a ghost,” Klaus said, holding his hand up next to Diego’s on the steering wheel. “You have to come in so I can match your skintone.”

“Ugh,” Diego groaned, turning off the engine and storming out of the car. 

He knew this had to be done, but it doesn’t mean he was going to be happy about it. At least the place seemed to be deserted this early in the morning, and nobody had to witness Klaus dragging him through the makeup aisle and holding up 70 different shades of foundation to his face. Somehow it appeared to take a whole damn pile of products to cover one tiny tattoo, all of which Klaus had loaded in Diego’s arms as he looked at makeup brushes. The only part about this that didn’t suck was getting to see Klaus actually _excited_ about the task at hand. Every time he matched a shade to Diego’s face he lit up with delight, and it was making it hard for Diego to keep being sour about the whole thing.

“Why does it take so many things?!” he grumbled as Klaus added two different makeup brushes and a sponge to the pile. 

“Because you need to make sure it lasts all day. If you don’t have primer it will sweat away in like an hour, and if you don’t have this setting powder it will look too shiny compared to your other skin, and you need the liquid foundation for the-” Klaus started, but Diego cut him off. 

“Okay, okay. I get it, you know what you’re doing.”

“- _and_ as I was going to _say,_ ” Klaus said, “A couple of those things are for _me._ So don’t worry, you’re not going to look like a clown or anything. But that should be it, as long as you don’t need anything else here.”

“Not that I can think of,” Diego said, already thinking about the breakfast he was going to get next door at Burger King instead.

By the time they checked out and walked next door for food, the sun had come out from behind the clouds. Diego was about to head into the restaurant when Klaus grabbed his jacket sleeve. 

“Wait, let’s sit here at this table and do this first. Natural light is best,” Klaus said, setting the Rite Aid bag on the picnic table with chipping red paint.

Diego took a deep breath and tried to prepare himself for this, but it was no use. He was already lowkey panicking about it. Not because it was makeup and he was like, too _macho_ for that or anything, but because he knew Klaus was about to touch him. _A lot._ His _face_ even, and there was no avoiding it.

“Sit with one leg on either side of the seat and face me,” Klaus said, kneeling on the bench seat and dumping out the bag. 

Diego did as he was told and watched Klaus open the packaging and organize all the products he was about to use. When he seemed satisfied with his arrangement he picked up a stick of liquid red stuff with a wand applicator. He shifted on his knees, letting one foot drop down to the ground and leaning forward on the other knee close to Diego’s face. 

“This is color corrector. It will dull the stark contrast of the black ink and skin,” Klaus said, holding it a few inches from Diego’s forehead. 

“Cool,” Diego said without enthusiasm, frowning hard and closing his eyes, bracing for impact. Klaus laughed.

“You have to stop that, you’re wrinkling up your whole forehead,” Klaus said, reaching out and running his thumb over the frown lines between Diego’s eyebrows to smooth them out. Diego immediately flinched because he didn’t see it coming, jerking his head backwards. Klaus didn’t laugh then, and he seemed to realize what happened. “Oh, right, I forgot! I’m sorry. I promise I’m not going to hurt you, Diego.”

“I know that. Just do it,” Diego grumbled, taking another deep breath and trying to relax his face. He didn’t close his eyes this time, deciding it was going to be easier to stare at Klaus’ face while he worked instead. At least if he saw it coming he wouldn’t jerk so hard.

“Okay, I’ll try to tell you before I do things,” Klaus said, leaning a little closer and gently dabbing the applicator wand over the tattoo. “Okay, I’m going to blend it in with my finger so try not to flinch.”

Diego did his best, resisting the urge to pull back with every new product Klaus came at him with. He tried to focus on Klaus’ face instead, letting himself get lost in how pretty his green eyes were in the golden early morning light. His gaze dropped to Klaus’ lips, the bottom one bit between his teeth as he focused on what he was doing. Diego would never tell a soul, but he wanted to know if they were as soft as they looked; as soft as the fingertips gently pressed against Diego’s cheekbone as Klaus blended the foundation in with a sponge. Every once in a while Klaus’ eyes would dart down to look at his and he had to look away, the eye contact at this close of range being too much. 

His heart was still racing and he was still studiously trying to avoid flinching at the contact, but toward the end he had honestly started to… _enjoy_ Klaus’ touch again. The tenderness and caution Klaus was using, warning him before every new step and just being so considerate of Diego’s neurotic issues - it was all so sweet that he was getting a little emotional about it. Nobody had touched him this much, or this kindly since… since his mom, eight years ago. He was so used to being hurt when people touched him; being punched and handled roughly by guards and other inmates in prison. He’d gone all those years with only the two extremes - zero physical contact at all, or excruciating pain. So having someone use a feather light touch was an experience he’d forgotten existed, forgotten that there was something in between the two extremes. 

“Damn, I’m so good. That looks fucking great,” Klaus said, turning the foundation compact around so Diego could look in the mirror.

And it was. Diego actually felt himself gasp as he looked at himself in the tiny circle mirror. That wretched thing was completely gone, no trace at all. He couldn’t even pretend that he wasn’t emotional about it, his smile couldn’t be fought. 

“You’re right, that does look great,” he said, touching it gently. It felt heavy and kind of gross being covered in so many layers, but he figured he would get used to it. “How did you get so good at this?”

“Practice,” Klaus said, snapping the compact shut. “I’ve had to cover a lot of bruises in my life.”

And just like that Diego was fucked up again. Klaus thought nothing of his statement, packing up all the makeup in the plastic bag like he didn’t just say the saddest thing ever. Diego wanted to find and punch any person that ever laid a hand on Klaus. Sure, he could be annoying sometimes, but Diego couldn’t even imagine how anyone could hurt him. 

“Alright, let’s go. The smell of hot syrup and sausage wafting out of this place is killing me,” Klaus said, slinging the bag on his wrist and stepping off the bench.

After they stopped at a gas station to fill up and finally made their way to Goodwill, Diego had tried to wipe the makeup off his forehead like seven times, forgetting each time that the icky feeling was there for a reason. Luckily Klaus seemed to be watching for it, and he stopped Diego from ruining his work every time. As he parked the car he could practically feel how excited Klaus was to actually shop for himself. Diego remembered that Craig controlled all his money, so it’s not like he has had this chance in who knows how long. Diego was going to try to be patient, even though he couldn’t think of a more boring way to spend his time. 

It had been ages since Diego had been in a thrift store, but he still remembered the distinct smell. It was mostly old book smell with a hint of well-worn shoes and dusty shelves full of knick-knacks. He didn’t need any of this shit so he mostly just followed Klaus around, already fully expecting to be his pack mule again, anyway. Klaus seemed to think he needed ALL the things, piling Diego’s arms with basically every other item he picked up.

“Jesus, did no employee read this hoodie before they put it out?” Klaus said, laughing and holding up the back of a black hoodie. There was a giant, bubblegum pink, hand sewn patch on the back that read ' _Bad Boys Need Good Dick Too_ ' in black text, and Diego rolled his eyes so hard he could have fallen over.

“That might be the tackiest thing I’ve seen here so far,” he said, hoping Klaus didn’t add that monstrosity to the stack in his arms. 

“What? I _so_ would wear this, especially to work,” Klaus said with a smirk, but he thankfully put it back on the rack anyway. 

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” Diego said, shaking his head.

“Oh here, this would look good on you,” Klaus said, picking out a navy blue button up. Diego made a face.

“No thanks, I’m all set,” he said, but Klaus laid it on the pile anyway.

“God, you’re so stubborn. Just let me put _any_ color whatsoever on you,” Klaus said.

“I said I’m all set,” Diego said firmly. 

“Whatever, party pooper,” Klaus said, getting distracted by the wall of coffee cups at the end of the rack they had just finished. He picked up an indigo cup with metallic gold stars and moons on it, looking like Christmas came early. “This is so pretty, I need this. Who would get rid of this?”

“Like, everyone would get rid of that. What do you need a mug for, you don’t even like coffee,” Diego said, and Klaus looked at him like he was a bit of a dumbass.

“What the hell do you think I drink tea out of?” 

“Uh, a tea cup?” 

“Sure, if I only want like four sips of tea at a time,” Klaus said, continuing to browse the selection. “I had like 10 mugs at Craig’s place. Lost my whole collection.”

Diego sighed and rolled his eyes behind Klaus’ back, but mostly at himself for being difficult. There was no way in the world he was going to stop Klaus from getting a stupid mug now, even though they had like no reason to bring that kind of stuff across the country. He was beginning to discover that saying “no” to Klaus was basically impossible. 

“I’m going to go grab a cart,” Diego said, leaving Klaus to peruse the bric a brac section by himself. He had a feeling they were not leaving this store without a whole wardrobe at least, and he was not about to carry all that in his arms.

On his way back he got distracted by the book section. He had accidentally become an avid reader behind bars, and now he was somehow the type of guy to be interested in a rack of dusty old books. He picked out a couple of books and added them to the cart full of Klaus’ clothes. He decided that if they were dragging unnecessary items like coffee cups with them, he could allow himself a book or two. It would be something quiet to do if he woke up early before Klaus again, anyway. 

“Diego, look at this!” Klaus said, bounding up next to him in the book aisle.

“Is that a Polaroid camera? Wow, those were already old school when we were kids,” Diego said, smiling because Klaus was.

“It is, and I’m getting it. I’ve wanted to take like 100 pictures already and haven’t been able to,” Klaus said. He set the camera in the cart along with three coffee cups, a Walkman CD player with a pair of headphones, and a purple handkerchief scarf with like, sparkly, silver tinsel or something threaded through it.

Diego bit his tongue, because his immediate response was _‘Pictures? How many times do I have to tell you we are not on vacation?’_ but he couldn’t keep shooting down every dumb thing that made Klaus happy. Plus, the scarf really was kind of pretty and if Klaus had a CD player maybe he wouldn’t force Diego to listen to terrible music. 

“Also, I know you hate colors and everything, but this shirt would look _so_ good on you,” Klaus said, holding up a burgundy t-shirt in front of Diego. “You have such pretty brown eyes and this color would make them pop.”

“Klaus, thank you, but I don’t need any clothes,” he said, but he could feel his cheeks flush hot from the compliment.

“Would you just try it on? For me?” Klaus asked, pressing the shirt into Diego’s chest. 

“If you insist,” Diego said, internally sighing at himself for not being able to disappoint him.

“It’s not going to kill you, come on,” Klaus said grabbing the end of the cart and dragging Diego along with it toward the women’s section.

That was uh, a little more interesting to watch, anyway. Diego had never known someone like Klaus, that could rock the androgyny thing so well, or would even dare to at all. Sure it was 2015, but the kind of men Diego had known his whole life would beat up a guy for that kind of behavior. Especially if they’d said what Klaus had said, about identifying with both genders. That shit did _not_ fly in prison, or even way back in high school, but Diego kind of loved that about him. Klaus didn’t give a single fuck what anyone thought about him, never measured his every move and word the way Diego had for _so_ damn long, lest he get an ass kicking. He truly envied and admired that freedom and unapologetic attitude. 

Plus, Klaus was just… _adorable_ when he was excited, even if it made Diego feel weird to use that word, even his own head. Every new thing Klaus found he was elated, trying to get Diego’s opinion even though he didn’t know a damn thing about fashion. At some point Diego had tuned out slightly, getting a little caught up on being attracted to Klaus again. He had no idea how much worse it was about to get as Klaus led him over to the fitting rooms. 

Klaus took his enormous pile into the fitting room and Diego sat in the chair outside with the cart, resisting the urge to rub at the makeup again. The first thing Klaus came out in was a pair of the shiniest, silver holographic leggings that fit him like a glove, and a tight, black tank top with a silver studded collar. Diego smiled because he looked great, but he was also like a walking neon sign.

“You look like a disco ball. Not to keep raining on the parade, but we’re going for discrete here,” Diego said, making Klaus fold his arms and roll his eyes.

“You’re going to be a turd about everything I put on then, aren’t you?” he said, not even giving Diego a chance to answer before walking back into the dressing room. 

Diego felt bad about ruining Klaus’ enthusiasm again, so he tried to pretend to be interested in the next few outfits Klaus put on. He certainly hadn’t anticipated being the sole audience member of a fashion show, save for the two Goodwill employees who had been watching them every now and then, too. Some of the next outfits were ‘normal,’ but they were never the things Klaus was excited about. 

Regardless of how good Klaus looked in basically everything, Diego was just about done staring at clothes by the 10th outfit change. Up until this moment he’d been having like, a pretty okay time though, considering he didn’t actually care about anything in this store. 

But then Klaus came out again, and Diego’s heart fucking _stopped_. At some point when Diego had tuned out, apparently Klaus had added a short, tiny, black skirt to the pile. He’d paired it with some black-sheer fucking _thigh high_ stockings and a black-sheer, sleeveless crop top with solid black stars all over it. Diego had frozen with his mouth parted, and he was _horrified._

“What? I thought you would like this, it’s all black,” Klaus said, standing in front of the fitting room door and looking back at himself in the full length mirror. He turned and checked out his own ass in the mirror and nodded, then stood on his stockinged tip-toes. “You’re right, it would look better with some stiletto boots.”

“I-I need to uh- fresh a-air-” Diego stammered, getting up and storming out of the store as fast as he could, his cheeks on fire.

As soon as he got outside he finally took a ragged breath, but it did hardly anything to ease his anxiety. It had nothing to do with what Klaus was wearing being too ‘girly’ or anything, it was just too… _hot._ Diego’s heart was hammering, his palms were sweating and… his pants were getting too tight in certain areas. He had spent the last eight years trying to avoid this exact thing for so many reasons. He had deliberately, sternly ignored and _hated_ every boner he’d had past the age of 17. It came with so much fear and shame, but this time was somehow even worse. It’s not like he had the same reasons to hide it or be ashamed this time like he had in prison, but he couldn’t stop his conditioned response to this happening to him. 

Diego let his back fall against the bricks of the store front and he slid down the wall, elbows on his knees and hands behind his bowed head. He had to will this away, this had to fucking _stop_. He could hear himself involuntarily whimpering about the pressure of his jeans against his crotch. He blushed even harder and felt tears threatening to well up. The image of that little strip of Klaus’ exposed thighs between the stockings and skirt needed to get out of his mind, but it was burnt into his memory. All he could do was force himself to think about other fucked up trauma to distract himself from this one. 

By the time Klaus came out of the store, Diego had collected himself for the most part but his mood was still in the toilet. He was leaning against the building and finishing a smoke when Klaus walked up to him carrying several heavy bags. He didn’t want to have the conversation they were inevitably about to have, and it was already pissing him off before it even happened.

“Hey, are you okay?” Klaus asked carefully. 

“I’m fine, let’s go,” Diego said, dropping his cigarette and stepping on the butt. He pulled the keys out of his pocket and headed toward the car. 

“I mean, are you sure? You seemed upset when you left. Did I do something wrong?” Klaus asked, trailing after him. Diego said nothing, getting in the car and slamming the door. Klaus set all his bags in the back seat and climbed in the passenger’s seat, still giving him the _look._

“I said I’m fine, Klaus,” Diego said shortly.

“I’m sorry I took so long. And I didn’t get any of the flashy clothes, I’m sorry if that made you uncomfortable or something,” Klaus said, suddenly reverting back to being timid and apologetic like he had been when they’d first met. Diego tried extremely hard to shove his bad mood away at least enough to give Klaus a real explanation, or part of one, anyway.

“It’s not your fault. It’s nothing you did wrong,” Diego said, staring blankly at the dash because looking at Klaus’ face was too hard at the moment. “I just… I get anxiety attacks sometimes. It doesn’t always need a trigger, they just happen at random on occasion. I’m alright now, so please don’t push me to talk, okay?”

“Oh, God, I totally understand, Diego. I used to get those too, before… well, before I started to um, self medicate,” Klaus said. “I imagine I would still get them pretty bad if I got sober, too.” 

The truth was that Diego was not alright yet, but he had to fake it, or at least keep it inside. None of it was Klaus’ fault and Diego didn’t want to be grouchy with him, even if he had been the trigger. It was better to not speak at all, in this case, because he could feel too much poison on his tongue that would hurt Klaus’ feelings. 

“Hey, so, I know we’re on a tight schedule but do you mind if I run into that Walmart across the street?” Klaus asked cautiously. “I’m cool with using all the clothes from a thrift store except underwear, you know? I didn’t think about it yesterday when we were there, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, just don’t take three years in there. I’m going to stay in the car,” Diego said, leaving the Goodwill parking lot and crossing the street. 

“I won’t, I promise!” Klaus said, turning and stretching over the seat to grab one of the bags full of clothes. “I’m going to change, too.”

By the time Klaus returned, Diego had tried to turn his mood around. They were having a good day, and he didn’t want to be the reason for that to turn sour, especially for such a stupid, embarrassing reason. He had focused on the map, writing down some notes on his notepad and trying to let it distract him. Klaus opened the back door first, collecting some stuff from the other bags and then getting in the front seat. He’d changed into an orange and green tank top with black silhouette palm trees on it, and surprisingly average blue jeans. He’d also apparently picked up some black flip flops, which were not exactly running-for-your-life footwear, but Diego wasn’t going to hassle him about it. 

“I can’t believe they had film for this,” Klaus said, holding the Polaroid camera and the Walkman on his lap while tearing into some packaging with his hands and teeth. “I got like four packs of it in case I couldn’t find it again.”

“Do not take a picture of me,” Diego said sternly, knowing full well that Klaus was eventually going to ignore that request.

“Oh hey, I got your books, too, by the way,” Klaus said, loading the film into the camera and definitely pretending he didn't hear what Diego said. “Why did you get book three of the Dark Tower series?”

“Because they only had the first two in the prison library,” Diego said, heading back toward the interstate. “Thanks for getting them.”

“Sure. Is that what you did in your free time there?” Klaus asked, but he was mostly focused on turning the camera on himself and taking a selfie with a bright smile.

“Yep. I read a lot of books, played a lot of dominoes,” Diego said, blinking with exaggeration and shaking his head like it blew his mind exactly how many times he’d played. “ _A_ _lot_ of fuckin’ dominoes. And I worked out, but that was less for fun and more for, you know, survival, and so I didn’t go insane.”

“I would have definitely gone insane if that’s all I could do for entire fucking _years,_ ” Klaus said, shaking the developing picture that the camera spit out. “Holy shit, it works! Look!”

“I’m happy for you,” Diego said as he looked, smirking because Klaus did look ridiculously cute in the picture. 

“This is the best thing I’ve ever purchased,” Klaus said, but then set the camera on the seat between them in order to turn his attention to the Walkman. “I bet this won’t work, though.”

Diego glanced over and watched him tear into more packaging - batteries for the CD player. 

“Do you even have any CDs?” Diego asked, realizing their car didn’t actually have a CD player. 

“Yeah, I grabbed a couple. Plus, this already has a Missy Elliott CD in it. And it was free since it seems like the employees didn’t even realize it was in there,” Klaus said, popping some batteries in the back and turning it over. It appeared to turn on, and Klaus lit up again. “Hell yes!”

“I haven’t thought about Missy Elliott in a million years. She was pretty cool, even though I didn’t really listen to her stuff,” Diego said, surprised he even recognized the artist.

“I feel the same, but I’m still going to listen to it anyway,” Klaus said, putting on the headphones. “Awww, shit. Only one side works. Oh well, still a good purchase.” 

“I’m sure you can find another pair somewhere between here and Seattle,” Diego said, checking the time. “We are still getting started pretty early, so we will be getting into Bismark by like 8pm.”

“Oh, we should try to find a motel around a laundromat so I can wash the rest of these clothes,” Klaus said, nudging the bag of clothes by his feet with his foot. “I’m sure they are clean enough, but you know, it’d still be nice to wash them.”

“Sure, I’ll see what we can find. I still have our bloody clothes in the trunk too, it’s probably wise to get those washed anyway,” Diego said, and Klaus took off his headphones to stare at him.

“You kept them? I thought you threw them away at the rest stop,” Klaus said.

“I didn’t want to leave a pile of bloody clothes in a trash can. Someone would for sure call the police,” Diego said, but he realized that maybe carrying them around was also not a good decision. 

“I guess, but it still seems pretty risky to be riding around with Craig’s blood in the car,” Klaus said, and Diego noticed his perky demeanor turn a little jaded. It seemed that any time Klaus was reminded of the reality of their situation he lost his spark. 

“It’s fine, I’m not going to get pulled over,” Diego said, but now he was going to be paranoid about it until they got to North Dakota.

Klaus was quiet for the next hour, and Diego was perfectly fine with the silence, other than he could tell that something was bothering him. He was never this quiet unless there was something wrong, especially when he was hugging himself and looking out of the window. After another 20 minutes Diego happened to catch him quickly wipe a tear off his cheek, like he didn’t want Diego to notice. This couldn’t be about the fact that they weren’t on vacation, at least not anymore. Something was really upsetting him, but Diego had no idea how to ask him what’s wrong. He had zero experience with comforting crying people, other than his mom, but this was way different. He watched Klaus pull his stupid pill baggie out of his pocket and take a couple pills, and decided he better talk to him now before Klaus’ moment of clarity was gone.

“Why are you upset?” Diego asked, wincing at himself because that was probably a bit too on the nose. Somehow Diego asking made more tears fall and Klaus rolled his eyes as he wiped them away. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Klaus said, grabbing Diego’s half-finished bottle of water from the seat between them. “Can I have a drink of this?”

“Sure, but only if you tell me why you’re crying. What happened?”

“Nothing,” Klaus said, taking a few drinks of the water and putting the cap back on. “You would be mad at me if I told you, anyway.”

“Well now I’m going to be mad you’re making assumptions about me, so just tell me,” he said, but now he was getting pretty concerned because what the hell could Klaus say that would make him mad? Klaus sighed and crossed his arms, dropping his head back on the headrest to stare at the ceiling. 

“I’m just... mourning, okay?”

“Mourning what? Are you regretting coming with me now?”

“No, I’m just. I know you’re going to think I’m stupid, but I’m mourning Craig,” he said, and Diego could not even describe the emotion that punched through his chest like a steel fist.

“Why the fuck would you-”

“Yes, yes, I know he was a bad guy, okay? I know, but he still…” Klaus started, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at himself. “He still helped me.”

“ _Helped_ you? Klaus, he _exploited_ you!” Diego said, barely keeping a lid on how furious that made him. He had to keep his shit together though, or Klaus would shut down and not tell him anything anymore.

“You don’t think I know that, Diego?”

“If you knew that you wouldn’t be crying over that fucking scumbag,” Diego said, glancing over and Klaus was glaring at him now. 

“Look, you don’t know what it’s like to be on the streets, okay? Have you ever spent the night outside in January sleeping on an icy bench, almost freezing to death and sometimes hoping you would? Have you ever been so fucking hungry you had to steal food from a restaurant dumpster or literally die?”

“No,” Diego said, and he could tell what Klaus was getting at, but that didn’t make Craig a fucking saint by any means. Plus, if Klaus was still on hard drugs then, he’d clearly been spending his money on something besides food and shelter. It made it hard for Diego to really sympathize when, in some ways, Klaus put himself in that position. 

“Have you ever assumed you were just going to suck a dick in a dirty alley for a few dollars, but instead he fucks you and doesn’t pay because he knows you can’t fight him?” Klaus asked, his words piercing Diego like knives. He didn’t know what to say now, because what the fuck could he even say? He realized he’d maybe picked the wrong fight, but he was not going to sit here and let Klaus feel sorry for a piece of shit like Craig.

“Klaus, I’m sorry-”

“No, don’t. You don’t know what kind of life Craig saved me from. With him I had a bed, and food, and protection.”

“That’s fine and I understand that what he gave you was better, but the life he made you lead wasn’t fucking great either. How many of the girls in your trafficking ring were minors?” Diego asked, knowing the question was going to cut deeply, but it was fucking reality. Klaus closed his eyes and swallowed hard. “How many, Klaus?”

“Three, that I knew about,” Klaus said miserably, keeping his eyes pinched shut even as fresh tears started to fall. 

“And how did he find them? I’m guessing they didn’t come to him asking for help?”

“No.”

“No, someone at a higher rank than Craig _gave_ them to him, right? That’s literally _sex trafficking_ , Klaus. That’s young girls being _kidnapped,_ brainwashed and forced into that fucking lifestyle,” Diego snapped, unable to keep his temper from flaring. He’d beat up plenty of sex trafficking human trash in prison, and he was not going to let Klaus put another one on a pedestal. “And sure, he found you in a desolate situation, and then used it against you to get you to work for him. I heard exactly what he was saying to you when he took you in the alley. I heard the threats of him throwing you back out on the street, for displeasing your _Master_.”

“ _I know,_ Diego, Jesus,” Klaus said quietly, covering his face with his hands and sinking down in the seat. Any normal person would have realized their point had already been made, and continuing at this point was torture, but Diego wasn’t normal. He was too heated now. 

“Did you ever have sex with him? Did you want it, or was it just part of the price of all the wonderful favors he was doing for you? And what about the minors - did he fuck them, too?”

“Will you _fucking stop!?_ I fucking get it, okay?!” Klaus spat, sitting up and glaring at Diego directly, tears on his cheeks. “This is why I didn’t tell you! I knew you would be a fucking asshole about it!”

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, trying to soften his tone. “But I think you need to accept that you have a little bit of Stockholm Syndrome going on here. If you had died instead of him, do you think he’d be crying over your loss?”

Klaus’ expression changed from angry to miserable acceptance, shaking his head and sniffling.

“Not at all,” he whispered, his voice cracking as he wiped away more tears. “Nobody would.”

“At least we have that much in common,” Diego said, and he could feel himself getting choked up too, but he shoved it down. Hearing Klaus say that nobody would care if he died hurt Diego more than he was expecting, especially because he could relate. It would be stupid to lie and say ‘that’s not true!’ - false positivity wouldn’t help anyone in this situation. Klaus seemed to be at least somewhat comforted that he wasn’t alone in that, as fucked up as it was. 

“I would care if you died, Diego,” he said softly. 

Klaus had no reason to feel that way, no reason to want to make _Diego_ feel better after all the harsh shit he’d just said to him. But he seemed to have an endless capacity to forgive and forget, even for people that have hurt him. Diego had no idea how to address what Klaus said, but it made Diego feel even worse about making him cry, so he had to try to fix things.

“Look, I might not know what it’s like to face homelessness. But I do know what it’s like to feel like you owe your health and safety to bad men. The gang was full of despicable, horrible people that make me fucking _sick,_ but… without them I would have been a lot worse off. They practically raised me. I had no choice but to go along with their organization even though I knew it was wrong. And…” Diego said, hoping he was making any sense at all. “I guess what I mean is, I don’t _blame_ you for being involved with him, if you were worried about that. I don’t blame you for utilizing his protection and help despite the bad things he does, because I’ve been there. The only difference is that I wouldn’t feel a damn thing if any of those bastards died, you know?”

“Yeah, I get it,” Klaus said, still quiet and reserved. “I appreciate you trying to relate because I know you’re not really a sharer. But I think… I think what you don’t understand here is that everyone handles things differently. I can’t just harden myself to pain and death like you can. I need to process it in my own way, even if you think my way is wrong. I’m not making excuses for Craig. He deserved what he got, but I can’t pretend to be unaffected by it.”

“Okay, do what you need to do,” Diego said, still feeling like an asshole for giving Klaus such a hard time about having _feelings_. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just… don’t yell at me like that anymore or I’m going to stop forgiving you,” Klaus said, wiping stray tears under both eyes with his fingers and then fanning his face. “Hey, I know we just got started, but can you please stop at the next rest stop? I need to like, regroup or something.”

“Yeah, I’ll stop as soon as I can,” Diego said, frowning at traffic and trying to let Klaus pull himself together without staring at him. 

There was a rest stop only a few miles ahead, and Diego let him go in alone. He figured that Klaus needed a minute to just be _away_ from him, since they’d been stuck together for a couple days now. If they had been apart longer Klaus would have been able to grieve in private, without anyone judging him. But Diego had been predictably short-sighted about the whole thing, not to mention offended when he didn’t need to be. He knew that part of the reason he’d been offended was out of fear. That maybe Klaus was going to decide he’d murdered Craig unnecessarily, and was actually the bad guy in the whole scenario. That’s why hearing Klaus attribute even one _shred_ of humanity to Craig set him off so badly, because that would mean that maybe Diego _was_ the bad guy, here. He had still been struggling with the ‘unnecessary’ part of the murder, despite how vile and irredeemable Craig was as a person, and he didn’t expect that feeling to go away any time soon. 

By the time Klaus returned, Diego had pensively smoked at least three cigarettes in a row on accident even though he barely smoked more than that many in a typical day. He noticed Klaus carrying a pile of papers as he opened the car door and got in. Upon closer inspection it looked to be pamphlets about attractions in the area.

“I know we’re not going to stop anywhere, but some of these are pretty funny,” Klaus said, like he knew Diego was going to bitch about making unnecessary stops already.

“I’m listening,” Diego said, starting the car and heading back toward the interstate. The last thing he cared about was roadside attractions, but Klaus seemed to be in such a better mood that Diego was more than happy to hear him talk about something ridiculous for a while. 

“I can’t believe some of these even have advertisements, oh my god. Okay so,” Klaus said, unfolding a whole pamphlet about buffalos in North Dakota and starting to read. “There is apparently a giant buffalo statue in Jamestown called ‘ _The World's Largest Buffalo_ ’ and it was built in 1959, by some dude named _Elmer_ \- already funny. Well it’s 26 feet tall, weighs 60 tons,-”

“60 _tons?_ What the fuck is it made out of, steel?”

“No, concrete and paint. Just wait. So apparently, ‘ _The sculpture is complete in many respects of detail. It is modeled after a male bison in mid-stride and is anatomically correct. For many years, it was customary for members of the graduating class of Jamestown High School to paint the genitalia in the school’s t-team colors._ ’” Klaus read out loud, hardly containing his laughter. “‘ _His enor-_ hahaha _-his enormous g-gonads are in the same all-star category as Albert the Bull in Iowa and B-Babe the Blue Ox in California.’”_

“There is seriously an entire paragraph about this buffalo’s cement nuts?” Diego said. He smiled in spite of being extremely confused, because Klaus had fucking lost it at that point, especially after Diego’s question. He couldn’t figure out how Klaus could switch moods so quickly, but it probably had something to do with the handful of pills he took, and a lifelong habit of compartmentalizing his feelings. 

“There really is, I can’t make this up,” Klaus said, still giggling as he shuffled the pamphlets. 

“Well damn, now I kind of need to see this statue,” Diego said, making Klaus giggle again.

“It’s ass actually faces the interstate, so we’ll see it even though we’re not stopping,” Klaus said. 

“Oh, a _rear view_ even, nice,” Diego said, setting Klaus off again. 

“ _Stop,_ I’m going to die. I just fixed my face, damn it,” Klaus said, gently dabbing away a tear of mirth with his knuckle. “Okay, anyway, there is also a giant cowboy sign in Carson. So cool, right? And if we were to stop in Fargo we could see the famous woodchipper from the movie. It’s got a leg sticking out of it and everything.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen that movie,” Diego said.

“Well, it’s pretty fucked up, but worth the time if you ever get around to it,” Klaus said, unfolding a wildly colorful, glossy pamphlet. “Oh, and something that’s actually kind of interesting - there is a place called ‘Space Aliens Grill & Bar’ and it’s all super colorful and space themed, like I wanna drop acid and hang out in this place. And it has like, a crater in the middle or something? And an arcade - oh shit, do you like arcade games?”

“I actually do,” Diego said. “I haven’t been in so long, though.”

“Okay, so as soon as we aren’t in immediate danger we are so going to an arcade,” Klaus said excitedly. “I can kick your ass at air hockey.”

“You can not, I guarantee it,” Diego said, knowing that was a solid fact. He was a wizard at games involving hand-eye coordination.

“I’m telling you, Ben used to have an air hockey table in his basement and he _never_ beat me,” Klaus said with confidence.

“Game on, then,” Diego said, giving Klaus a wink.

No matter how bored and under stimulated Diego felt about driving through the Midwest, it was nothing compared to how bored Klaus was. By 4pm he’d complained about it at least 50 times, and Diego always politely agreed even when he was tired of hearing about it. Klaus had already listened through all of the few CDs he’d bought, even with the broken headphones. Then he tried to convince Diego to play ‘I Spy’ to no avail ( _“Klaus, I’m driving, all I should be spying is the road”_.) Then he decided that maybe crawling in the back seat would give him a new perspective, and when that didn’t work he’d crawled back over the seat into the front. He did this several times, as if somehow the back would be more interesting if he tried it again. 

“Fuck, Diego. The only thing to look at are billboards about car dealerships and Jesus, and fields full of muddy cows. How do people live here?” he said, crawling up in the front seat again.

“I don’t know. It seems kind of peaceful, anyway,” Diego said.

“Do you know what is synonymous with ‘peaceful’? _Dull, uninspiring, vapid,_ I could go on,” Klaus said, dragging his hands down his face. “You know this wouldn’t be quite so bad if you were a bigger talker.” 

“What am I supposed to talk about?” Diego asked, even though they’d already had this exact conversation two hours ago.

“I know you don’t like talking about yourself, but I wish you would give me _something_ ,” Klaus said, scratching his chin. “Oh! Did you ever have any pets?”

“Um, I had a hamster once, but it bit me if I tried to take it out of the cage. We weren’t friends,” Diego said, feeling Klaus’ eyeroll more than seeing it. He tried to dig a little deeper. “Um, well it wasn’t mine, but the neighbor kid had a dog that I liked, too. He was older than me so we didn’t like, hang out. But he would let me play with his Saint Bernard while he was at the baseball field after school.”

“Aww, you like big dogs? What was its name?”

“Tucker. I made him um,-” Diego stopped, feeling his cheeks blush. He knew Klaus was going to love this next detail _way_ too much, but Diego was going to tell him anyway. “I would take him for a walk in the woods sometimes, and I made daisy and dandelion chains to wrap around his collar.” 

“Oh my god, that is so fucking cute, Diego,” Klaus said, holding one hand over his heart and clapping the other hand over Diego’s bicep. He took his hand away and apologized quickly as soon as he remembered Diego didn’t like to be touched. 

“It’s fine, I don’t mind,” Diego said, because he really didn’t. He was getting slightly more comfortable with Klaus’ touch the longer they were together, as long as he saw it coming. 

“But see, I knew you have good stuff buried under all the trauma and shit. Tell me other things about you,” Klaus said, turning in the seat so his back was against the door and folding his legs. 

“Such as?”

“What did you want to be when you grew up?”

“Ha, well. I guess I always assumed I would become a cop like my dad,” Diego said, feeling his smile falter. “So much for that.”

“You never thought of doing anything else?”

“My history teacher told me I would be a good history writer, but I never saw it. All I did was write papers about shit for school, but I guess she liked them,” Diego said, shrugging.

“So you like history?”

“Sure. More than other subjects, anyway. Most of the books I read are biographies and memoirs and stuff. Extracurricular history is more interesting than just the typical stuff you learn in school, like, dead guys writing laws and junk.”

“I don’t relate, but I’m glad you like to learn about it. My favorite subject was predictably art, but also German, when the school I was at offered it. I’m actually really good at picking up foreign languages.”

“That’s cool. I learned a lot of Spanish by watching telenovelas with my mom,” he said, smiling when Klaus giggled. 

“God, that’s fucking adorable, too! Spanish soaps with your mom? Making flower chains for dogs? Why did you not tell me these cute things sooner?” Klaus said, holding his face in both hands. Diego smiled and shrugged again.

“I guess I’ve never had anyone care to listen to those kinds of things,” he said, shaking his head. “It doesn’t ever occur to me to bring them up. I’m not even sure why you consider them ‘cute,’ either.”

“Trust me, it’s cute. Tough guys doing soft things is always heart-warming,” Klaus said, which gave Diego mixed feelings.

“Well, doing anything that’s considered ‘cute’ has basically been frowned upon my whole life, so, it’s weird to hear that, honestly,” Diego said. Klaus rolled his eyes again. “ _What?_ Watch me tell my cellmate that I used to watch _soap operas_ with my mom, see how fast I’d get my ass kicked.”

“Fuuuuck _that_ toxic shit. Do whatever makes you happy, Diego. You don’t have to hide that you might actually have a soul under that cold exterior anymore, especially not with me,” Klaus said with a frown. “I’m nothing like those people.”

“I know you’re different,” Diego said, taking his eyes off the road to smile at Klaus directly. “That’s why I like you.”

“You _like_ me? I just assumed you’re only tolerating me because we’re stuck together,” Klaus said, practically beaming brighter than the sun. His warmth was infectious, and Diego could hardly handle it.

“No, it’s not like that. I’m… I’m glad you’re with me,” Diego said, feeling a little too vulnerable, but he wasn’t going to pull back. Making Klaus smile felt so much better than hurting his feelings all the damn time, so he didn’t want to stop even if it made him feel too exposed at the same time.

“Thank you for saying that, you have no idea how nice that is to hear,” Klaus said, and his smile turned bittersweet. “I’m not really used to people liking my company, outside of, you know, the nature of my job.”

“That is hard to believe. You seem so outgoing and personable, who doesn’t like that?” 

Klaus was quiet for a few moments, chewing his thumb nail and staring down at the seat. 

“I haven’t always been the way I am now. I told you, I burn bridges. I’ve hurt people that tried to care about me, betrayed them and taken them for granted. Especially when I was younger and more reckless, into way more drugs and partying. Anyone that trusted me got burned in the end,” Klaus said, his warmth filtering away. “Friendships don’t last long when you treat people like they are disposable, or a means to an end. And on top of that, a lot of people think I’m _‘too much.’_ Too loud, too wild, too weird, too blunt, too selfish. So sure, I could make friends, but I had a hard time keeping them for very long once I showed my true colors.”

“Well, it sounds like you’ve at least done enough self reflection to know where you went wrong in the past. It’s not too late to build new bridges,” Diego said, trying to be encouraging even though that was usually out of his wheelhouse for the most part. “I don’t think you’re too much of any of those things. And from my perspective, you’ve been nothing but kind to me, even when I’m not.”

“Aww, I don’t think you’re unkind, Diego,” Klaus said. Diego looked at him with a skeptical eyebrow raised. “Okay, well, you’re a little rough around the edges, sure, but I don’t think your intentions are ever specifically to be _mean_.”

“Maybe not with you, but I’m not exactly known for being a nice person.”

“Well, like you said, it’s not too late to change that. I think if you were around more people you actually _wanted_ to be nice to, you could be,” Klaus said, and it gave Diego some clarity that he hadn’t expected. That was probably… _true._

“Maybe so,” he said, and he had a strong urge to hold Klaus’ hand again. That made him have mixed feelings too, so he tried to ignore it. 

Reaching out to people physically was yet another thing he wasn’t used to. He couldn’t process the desire for it very well, because comfort from physical touch felt like _weakness_ to him, whether he was offering the comfort or receiving it. In the very back of his mind he could feel something telling him that maybe it was _okay_ to be weak sometimes, but everything he’d learned in life thus far had taught him otherwise.

“Hey, not to ruin the moment, but can we stop to pee again soon? I know we just stopped like an hour ago when we got lunch. I’m sorry,” Klaus said, making Diego sigh.

“You have the smallest bladder in the world, I swear,” Diego said, but he’d already started looking for gas station or rest stop signs. 

“Hey, you’re the one that keeps making me drink a ton of water. These are the consequences, buddy,” Klaus said, smiling again.

“I suppose you got me there,” Diego said, rolling his eyes but smiling softly. “I’ll stop soon.” 

The last four hours of the drive had been even more brutal than the first six. Partially because Klaus fell asleep in the last hour, since they’d woken up so early and slept so little the night before. And also because Diego had too much time to get wrapped up in his own thoughts. He couldn’t believe he started to miss Klaus’ random monologuing, complaining and needling questions, but he really did. The silence in the car made Diego feel blue, and now that they were close to their destination, he couldn’t wait to wake Klaus up again.

“Hey, we’re almost there,” Diego said, gently shaking Klaus’ shoulder. He stirred and stretched, then cracked his neck to relieve the stiffness of sleeping with his head drooped against the window.

“Hallelujah,” Klaus said through a yawn, rubbing his eyes. “I thought we would never fucking get here.”

“Did you have a good nap? You didn’t even wake up when I went into the gas station,” Diego said.

“I had a dream that we went to see the giant cowboy sign, and when we walked around to the back of it he had assless chaps on,” Klaus said, still looking bleary eyed from sleeping so hard. What he said was so unexpected that Diego actually laughed out loud. Klaus’ eyes got brighter then, smiling so fondly at him that Diego suddenly felt exposed.

“What?” he said, having no idea why Klaus was staring at him like that. “Was that not supposed to be funny?”

“No, it’s super funny,” Klaus said, still beaming. “I’ve just never heard you laugh for real before. It’s nice.”

“Well now you’re going to give me a complex about it,” Diego said, having those awkward mixed feelings again.

“What!? No! I said it’s _nice_ , not hideous, God,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes but keeping his smile in place. 

“If you say so,” Diego said. He had to change the subject before he let himself feel too weird about it. “So anyway, the gas station employee said there is conveniently a laundromat about one block from the motel. We can check in and then just walk there, if you don’t mind.”

“No, not at all. I have never needed to stretch my legs more, anyway,” Klaus said, yawning again. “Is the laundromat open this late?”

“Yeah, he said it’s one of those 24 hour joints with no attendant or anything. Like a car wash.”

Once they checked into their room and rounded up the laundry, it was just past 10pm. Diego set out all of his clean clothes on one of the beds and filled his duffle bag with all of their dirty laundry, including the bloody clothes from the trunk. Klaus dropped his coat and walkman on the other bed, but kept the Polaroid camera hanging from his neck by the strap. Diego had no idea what he could possibly need to take a picture of in a boring laundromat, but he didn’t bother questioning him. It had been a hot, sticky day, but nightfall had swept away a lot of the humidity, making their walk to the laundromat pretty pleasant. It was a small town neighborhood, so almost everything had been shut down for the evening, leaving the whole block pretty deserted. The laundromat, a liquor store and a McDonalds seemed to be the only things left open, but even those places were empty other than a few lonely employees.

“Hey, do you mind starting the laundry? I’m going to run across the street and get us some dinner,” Klaus said, digging a wad of cash out of his jeans pocket. “What do you want?”

“Ugh. I want food, but the thought of eating fast food again sounds like torture,” Diego said, stopping with his hand on the door to the laundromat. “I guess just get me some chicken nuggets and an iced tea. We’re going to a diner in the morning, though.”

“That sounds amazing. If I have to eat another McMeal for breakfast I might die, so I’m glad you feel that way,” Klaus said. “I’ll be right back.”

Diego watched Klaus take off across the street for a moment before heading into the laundromat. He judged himself for thinking about how nice Klaus’ new jeans fit him, blushing even though it’s not like anyone could hear his thoughts. Like the rest of the town block, the laundromat was blessedly empty, albeit a little stuffy from the heat of dryers. He tried to shake off his shame as he walked over to the change machine and fed it a $10 bill. Aside from the hum of electricity from the fluorescent lights and an ancient, muted television chained to the ceiling in the back corner, it was silent in there. The quarters dropping down into the tray was the loudest thing in the entire world to Diego’s ears. After that he selected a detergent from the soap vending machine on the wall under the TV, and then loaded the washing machine with the duffle bag contents. 

Once he started the machine, he took a seat at the end of one of the three rectangular, shabby, wood tables with navy blue plastic chairs that looked like they came from a high school classroom. He had no doubt that the instant Klaus walked into this place he was going to be bored stiff. The only thing even mildly interesting to look at was the muted TV, which was playing an episode of Jerry Springer with subtitles, and Diego would rather die than watch that shit. There were also a few magazines scattered along the tables, so he dragged an issue of Homes and Gardens toward himself.

The second Klaus came in the front door, Diego let out a breath he hadn’t even realized he’d been holding. Seeing him carrying a bunch of paper bags and drinks with his sweet smile made the tension release from Diego’s shoulders. He admitted to himself that being with Klaus just made him feel… better, safer somehow, and it was time he let himself acknowledge it. 

“Man, the McDonalds people get cranky if you walk up to a drive thru window around here, but the dining room was closed,” Klaus said, setting all the bags on the table and sitting across from Diego. There was a distinct clunk of a glass bottle hitting the table from inside one of the paper bags, and Diego noticed the bag didn’t have a logo on it.

“Is that liquor?” Diego asked, bending the edge of the bag down to peer inside. 

“Yes, is that okay? I just thought we could have a drink, but if you’re not in the mood I’ll just save it,” Klaus said. “I got gin and tonic, since I remember that’s what you drank at Sharp Shot.”

“You remembered that?” Diego said, feeling oddly flattered by it. When he’d first realized it was alcohol he was opposed to the idea, but somehow Klaus’ thoughtfulness turned that around. Maybe he could have a drink, it’s not like he was driving anywhere after. Inside the bag was a fifth of Tanqueray, a liter bottle of tonic water and a little lime-shaped bottle of lime juice. 

“Yeah, and I got your iced tea and then another cup of just ice for you,” Klaus said, pushing one of the paper cups toward him. Klaus noticed Diego smiling and smiled back with a raised eyebrow. “What?”

“Nothing, it’s just cool that you remembered such a small detail,” Diego said. “Thanks.”

“No problem. I’m glad you’re game,” Klaus said, and Diego saw a lightbulb go off over his head. “Oh my god, we should play a drinking game.”

“I don’t know about that. I don’t want to get plastered. Driving with a hangover sounds fucking awful,” Diego said, dragging the bag of food toward himself. He was definitely going to need to eat some food before pouring alcohol on his stomach. 

“No, no. I’ll take shots, but you can just take sips of your drink. You won’t get too drunk, I promise,” Klaus said, taking the McChicken that Diego handed him from the bag. 

“If you insist,” Diego said, taking out his box of chicken nuggets and noticing at least four different kinds of sauce cups in the bottom of the bag. He turned the bag over and dumped them on the table. Barbeque, ranch, sweet chili and honey mustard. 

“I wasn’t sure what you liked for dipping,” Klaus said. “So hopefully you like at least one of those.”

“I’m going to eat them all, probably. Thank you,” Diego said, peeling back the top of the barbeque sauce first. Klaus nodded and then looked around the laundromat. 

“There is so much weird energy in here, I like it. Kinda liminal space-y,” Klaus said, closing his eyes and moving his shoulders like he was dancing to music that Diego couldn’t hear.

“It just feels unbelievably boring in here, to me,” Diego said, then stuffed his mouth with a nugget.

“No, no. Weird shit has happened here, I can tell,” Klaus said, finally unwrapping his sandwich. Diego smiled and shook his head as he swallowed.

“Whatever you say, Miss Cleo,” Diego said, making Klaus roll his eyes affectionately.

“Are you ever going to let me read your palm?” he asked, his mouth full of chicken. 

“Probably not.”

“That’s fine, I already know what game we’re playing, so I’ll figure you out that way,” Klaus said, making Diego raise an eyebrow. “Have you ever played Never Have I Ever?”

Diego laughed. “No, but I’m familiar with the concept. You don’t want to play that with me, you will get obliterated so fast.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Because I haven't done like, anything crazy at all,” Diego said, already breaking into the next sauce cup. “It’s just going to be you taking all the shots and me staring at you.”

“I doubt that. Never have I ever been to prison. There, that’s your first drink already,” Klaus said, taking a sip of his soda. 

“Alright, smart ass. You’re still the one that’s going to be crawling back to the room,” Diego said.

“I did spend a couple months in county jail, though,” Klaus said, making Diego do a double-take. 

“You _did_? What for?”

“Shoplifting. It wasn’t that big of a deal, really. I actually adapted surprisingly well. And I got three squares a day, and a bed to sleep in, so it was better than sleeping under an overpass,” Klaus said, shrugging. Diego couldn’t figure out how he could just _shrug it off_ like that, just hearing it gave Diego anxiety. 

“Did you get sober in those couple months?” Diego asked, hoping he wasn’t going to strike a nerve.

“Ha, no way. I was able to sniff out the guy to see for contraband within the first night,” Klaus said. Diego tried not to let that disappoint him, it was none of his business, but it did a little, anyway.

“Have you ever been in rehab?”

“Well, let me pour you a drink and that can be your first turn,” Klaus said, crumpling up his sandwich wrapper and tossing it in the empty bag. 

Diego watched him pull out everything from the liquor store bag and start mixing a drink in the McDonalds cup full of ice. He was feeling uneasy about what Klaus might ask in this dumb little game, but he was going to try to play along anyway. There was no way he wasn’t about to be forced to reveal some exceedingly personal information, but… maybe it was time to admit it to _someone_. Klaus wasn’t the judgemental type, but Diego had a feeling certain things would shock even him. 

“Alright so, never have I ever been to prison. Take a sip and tell me if that’s a good mix,” Klaus said, screwing the cap on the tonic water and sliding the cup toward Diego. He took a drink and winced. It was a little strong, but he could tolerate it. 

“It’s good, thanks. Never have I ever been to rehab,” Diego said, watching Klaus take a swig of gin straight from the bottle. “Did it help?”

“Well, I’m not on heroin anymore, so… partly,” Klaus said, shrugging and eyeing Diego critically. “Never have I ever murdered anyone.”

“Wow, going for the big guns already,” Diego said, taking another drink and chasing it with a chicken nugget. 

“Sorry. You said you’ve never done anything crazy, so I have to go for what I already know to be true or else you won’t drink anything,” Klaus said, and Diego nodded.

“I guess that’s fair,” Diego said, trying to rack his mind for what he could ask Klaus that maybe _wouldn’t_ get him to drink. “Never have I ever been on an airplane.”

“Duh, I already told you that. You’re supposed to get me to drink the most, that’s how you win,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes but not touching his drink.

“I know, but I don’t want you to get hammered too fast.”

“Diego, I could drink this whole fifth and still walk a straight line. I promise I can take it,” he said with a cocky smile. “Alright. Never have I ever… got my driver’s license.”

“Don’t I know it,” Diego said sarcastically, making Klaus giggle. Diego took his sip and scratched his chin. “Never have I ever done an illegal drug.”

“Not once? Not even when you were in high school? Like not even weed?” Klaus said, smiling at Diego like he was a little baby bunny. 

“Nope, I’m cleaner than fresh fallen snow,” Diego said as Klaus took his drink.

“That’s so sweet, but I have no idea how drug free people really exist,” Klaus said. “Alright, this is a lie but, never have I ever gone skinny dipping.”

“I would have been thrown in jail a lot sooner if I’d had, since I’ve only ever been to the community pool in our neighborhood as a kid,” Diego said, not touching his drink. Klaus drank though, since clearly he had indeed been skinny dipping. 

“Too bad the motel doesn’t have an outdoor pool or we would be doing that _tonight,_ ” Klaus said, making Diego have to cover his face.

“We absolutely would _not_ be doing that in public. Maybe at Luther’s,” Diego said through his hands, uncovering his face long enough to watch Klaus’ mouth fall open.

“I’m absolutely fucking holding you to that, Diego. Don’t even test me. Luther better have a pool, I swear to God,” Klaus said excitedly.

“I’m 100% certain he does. He used to complain that we didn’t have one when he would visit during the summer,” Diego said with a frown. 

“He sounds like a fucking brat, I’m sorry,” Klaus said with a frown. “Okay it’s still your turn.”

“Never have I ever… had an STD,” Diego said, even though that was probably pretty personal. Klaus snorted.

“Well, I guess I did want you to make me drink,” Klaus said sagely, tipping the bottle up for a deeper drink than before. Then something occurred to him and he set the bottle down and held both hands up. “But like, never one that I couldn’t cure with antibiotics. Or RID.”

“Ew, isn’t that head lice shampoo?” Diego said, wrinkling his nose.

“Yep. Works on crabs too, as it were. Anyway,” Klaus said, scratching the back of his neck. He cleared his throat and fixed Diego with narrowed eyes. “Okay, this is also a lie but… never have I ever… had sex with a woman.”

Diego swallowed hard, keeping eye contact even though he knew his cheeks were burning bright. After several painfully awkward, heart-pounding moments of Diego not taking a drink, Klaus gasped and covered his mouth with both hands, his eyes shocked and huge. Diego knew it was going to come out eventually, but it was still the most humiliating thing in the world.

“ _Really?!_ Oh shit, Diego… are you a _virgin?_ ” When Diego didn’t say anything, just looked down at the table, Klaus gasped again and held his hands over his heart. “Holy shit, are you serious?! Fuck, no wonder you’re so awkward when I talk about sex. Oh, sweetie, that’s sooo fucking cute.”

“Guess I haven’t had the time,” Diego said, taking a big drink, anyway. 

He’d never told _anyone_ that before and he wasn’t sure how to feel about it. At least it was Klaus he was telling, because if it was anyone else Diego would want to die for _real_. There was something about him that could slip between the cracks of Diego’s walls so easily. He almost _wanted_ to tell Klaus things now, as opposed to getting hostile about it like he had before. He’d never met someone that could disarm him this way, and it was both endearing and terrifying, and maybe even a little exhilarating. 

“I mean that makes sense and I had a hunch, but I still can’t believe it,” Klaus said, still staring at Diego with wide eyes. “Gosh, I’m really sorry if you didn’t want to tell me that. But it’s totally okay, you have plenty of time to make that happen if you want to.”

“Never have I ever been in love,” Diego said, ignoring what Klaus had said. He could really go for a subject change, even though Klaus wasn’t teasing him about it in the slightest.

“On no, that’s _so_ sad, too!” Klaus said, reaching out to rest his hand on Diego’s for a moment. He quickly took it away in order to take a long drink, putting a significant dent in the bottle. Diego shrugged. 

“I barely even _like_ anyone, let alone fallen in love,” he said, but his mind was focused on the ghost feeling of Klaus’ hand over his.

“Not even like a high school crush? No one in prison caught your eye either?”

“Fuck no, I hated the people in both of those places,” Diego said. “What about you?”

“O-oh, um, well it’s a long story. The family that I stayed with after my brother Ben’s, that was where I met the love of my life, but....” Klaus started, but stopped to bite his lip and look up at the ceiling.

“What was his name?”

“His name was Dave,” Klaus said, a bittersweet smile on his lips. “He was… he was everything I needed at the time. He was kind and gentle and patient, but still strong and honest with me.”

“He sounds great,” Diego said, but he could tell there was still a ‘but’ coming after all of this.

“He was _beautiful_ and he had such a good heart,” Klaus said, nodding to himself with a wistful smile that turned into a frown. “But he was two years older than me, and enlisted in the military. He got deployed while I was still living in his house. He was killed almost immediately in Afghanistan in ‘08, and... it’s kind of been shit wall to wall for me since then.”

“Jesus, I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t even imagine losing a significant other I cared about that much,” Diego said, and he felt pretty bad for making Klaus drag up that memory. 

“Yeah, I felt irreparably lost and broken for... a really long time,” Klaus said, taking another deep drink from the bottle. “But that’s ancient history at this point, you know? I’m trying to move forward, because he would want me to.” 

Diego nodded. “That’s a really brave thing to do. I had to drag myself out of a dark place when my mom died, too. It’s extremely hard, and I keep fucking it up. But she wouldn’t want me to give up either, even when I keep falling.”

“Awww, see! There’s that warm sunshine again. Your momma must have been a wonderful lady,” Klaus said with a soft smile as he gazed at Diego, making him blush. Now that he’d started opening up to Klaus, it was like a leak in a sinking ship he couldn’t patch. He wished he could blame the alcohol, but he hadn’t even had enough to be buzzed yet. “Oh shit, it’s still my turn!”

“Oh, I forgot we were even playing a game,” Diego said, shaking his sappy feelings away. Klaus drummed his fingers on the table and stared at Diego for a moment.

“I can ask you anything, right?”

“Literally what could be worse than all the things you’ve already asked me in the last 48 hours?”

“Alright,” Klaus said, already smiling before he asked. “Never have I ever been kissed.”

Diego covered his face and felt it get red hot. Of course Klaus would be able to figure that out, based on everything else Diego had told him. Klaus gasped and reached across the table to take Diego’s hand from his face and hold it. 

“Awww, Diego, can I kiss you? Just so you know what it’s like?” Klaus asked, his voice a mix of sympathetic and hopeful. Diego sighed heavily and observed that Klaus’ liquor bottle had already been hit pretty hard. He was not interested in a drunken _pity_ kiss, not by any means. But… he wasn’t necessarily opposed to it happening at some point… maybe.

“Maybe later,” he said, hardly able to believe he’d had the guts to say it. Klaus squeezed his hand and laughed.

“Well, at least it wasn’t a hard no,” Klaus said, looking pleased with himself and smiling at Diego affectionately. Diego had a really hard time not smiling back, so he let himself fail. They were definitely having a sweet, starry-eyed moment, and as much as it scared him, he _wanted_ it to happen. 

Until the washer buzzer went off, splitting their ears in the quiet room and making them both jump and release hands.

“ _Jesus_ Christ, shut up!,” Klaus said, glaring at the machine like it slapped him in the face. 

“Do you want to go for a walk while these are in the dryer? It will take like an hour, and I don’t think I can sit in this laundry room any longer,” Diego said, making Klaus smile again.

“That would be amazing,” he said, resting his chin in his palm, elbow resting on the table as he watched Diego get up and handle the washing.

Klaus left his camera and the almost-empty liquor bottle in Diego’s empty duffle bag hanging on the dryer handle, Diego finished his drink Klaus had made him and threw away their trash, then they left the laundromat. They didn’t have anywhere in particular to walk, but they followed the road back the way they came. They walked past the motel and down a side road that led toward resident houses on either side, and a dark treeline in the distance. Diego lit them both a smoke once they were past all the streetlights, only fireflies and moonlight left to light up the landscape outside of the main town drag. 

“So, assuming you didn’t hate a particular girl, would you be into her?” Klaus asked as they walked at a leisurely pace.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean would you have sex with a girl if she didn’t suck?” Klaus asked boldly, taking a long drag off his cigarette. 

“Are you trying to ask about my sexual orientation, Klaus?”

“Yeah, I guess. You don’t have to tell me, I was just curious,” he said, wearing a sheepish smile. 

“I don’t know, to be honest with you. I’ve um, I’ve kind of shoved all that shit so far down that I never let myself think about it very long,” Diego said, shrugging and stuffing his empty hand in his jeans pocket. “I knew I wasn’t going to be involved with anyone for almost a decade, so it was easier to just ignore it entirely. And before prison I had other shit to worry about a lot more. It’s just never been a priority to worry about.”

“But like, what do you think about when you, you know. Get yourself off,” Klaus said, making a vague jerking hand gesture with the hand holding his cigarette.

“Nothing. I just…. don’t,” he said, feeling his stomach twist uncomfortably at the thought. He stared at his feet, because he didn’t want to see Klaus’ face when he said that. 

“Wait, are you serious? _How?_ ” Klaus asked, reaching up to stop Diego by resting a hand on his jacket sleeve. Diego sighed and forced himself to make eye contact.

“Would you take ‘ _because I didn’t feel like it_ ’ as an answer? Because it’s the only one I got for you right now,” Diego said, a note of pleading in his tone. He didn’t want Klaus to press too much harder on this subject. He’d revealed as much about himself as he possibly could so fast. Some things just needed to remain personal.

“I mean sure, you’re not obligated to tell me anything, of course,” Klaus said, starting to walk again. “But it sounds to me like maybe you’re asexual? Have you considered that?”

“No, it’s not that. I mean, yeah it’s hard for me to let myself find anyone attractive in that way, but it’s not like, _impossible_ ,” Diego said, trying to think of any reason to change the subject. 

“Well, when you’re ready for that, I’m sure you can find it easily. You’re hot and you’ve got the whole bad boy thing going on. Lots of people are into that.” 

Diego scoffed and blushed again. He really needed to get a handle on that, blushing all the time was getting fucking embarrassing, too. 

“If you say so,” he said self consciously. He’d hated his reflection for so long that hearing someone compliment him on his looks felt so _wrong_ , even if it gave him butterflies in his stomach. 

He tried to take a hit of his smoke but he’d waited too long between hits, so it went out. He took his hand out of his jeans pocket already holding a lighter and relit the end, tucking the lighter back in his coat pocket and then letting his hand fall back to his side. 

“Wait, you don’t even realize you’re hot, do you?” Klaus said, nudging him with his elbow.

“I guess not,” Diego said, shaking his head and looking up at the stars while Klaus looked at him.

He wanted to return the sentiment, to tell Klaus that the reason he’d come to Sharp Shot every night was just to appreciate him for a while. It shouldn’t scare him so much to find Klaus attractive, but he couldn’t just turn off eight years of repression and self-loathing. He was tired of letting it control him, though. He wanted to just be fucking normal for once, to let them have the moment that they were on the cusp of having for the last hour. 

“Hey,” Klaus said softly, waiting for Diego to look at him before taking his hand cautiously. He wasn’t sure when they’d entered freely-holding-hands territory, but he just… really liked it, so he didn’t pull his hand away. “I can see you thinking too hard about it. Don’t get so wrapped up in your head that you can’t let yourself enjoy things, like compliments.”

“It’s hard,” he admitted, and Klaus nodded empathetically. 

Diego glanced down at their hands locked and tried to do what Klaus said. Just enjoy it, don’t think too much, it’s _okay_ to feel this way. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, feeling the tension in his shoulders relax again like they had when Klaus walked into the laundromat. It did nothing for the butterflies, but he figured that was supposed to be a _good_ thing about liking someone. It had been so long since he could relax like this with another person it almost felt fake, surreal in a way he couldn’t explain. 

“Hey,” Klaus said softly again, stopping on the road. Diego stopped with him and raised his eyebrow in question. “Can I kiss you now?”

Diego’s first instinct was to say no again, but he _wanted_ to, despite it feeling weird and scary. Even if nothing else happened, at least his first kiss would be with someone he liked, someone he felt respected him even a little. 

He licked his lower lip into his mouth briefly and flicked his cigarette on the ground, then let himself nod yes. Klaus smiled so bright Diego had to smirk softly too, then Klaus closed his eyes and leaned in. Diego couldn’t help it, a laugh bubbled up and he moved his head back. He knew his cheeks were blushed again and he couldn’t stop smiling. Klaus chuckled too, but didn’t let Diego escape. He leaned forward further and pressed his lips to Diego’s smile. 

He felt himself freeze, smile faltering, breath held in his chest and heart picking up speed. At first it felt silly to have someone that far in his personal space, and then it felt intimidating, and then, as he finally let himself register the warmth and softness of Klaus’ lips against his, it felt… _better._ He let his eyes flutter closed and he leaned into it ever so slightly, and Klaus took that as permission to keep going. The sweet, tingly feeling of Klaus’ lips moving against his own helped Diego relax and fall into the moment, cautiously trying to follow his lead and kiss back. He briefly worried that maybe he wasn’t doing it right, but it _felt_ right, it felt easier and more natural than he’d ever expected. He could taste the gin and cigarettes on Klaus’ mouth, which is exactly what Diego expected him to taste like, and he could feel Klaus’ nose brushing softly against his stubbled cheek. The second Diego felt like maybe he was getting the hang of it, he felt Klaus briefly graze a slick, satiny tongue along his bottom lip. The sensation was amazing, but it also kicked in Diego’s anxiety again, and he had to pull back to take a breath since he’d been holding it the whole time. 

“Are you good?” Klaus whispered, pulling back to catch Diego’s eyes. 

Diego nodded and smiled even though he was still taking steadying breaths, because he was _fine_ , just feeling a touch overwhelmed at the same time. On one hand he felt head-to-toe lighter than ever, relieved to finally have that ‘first’ out of the way, and also happy to find out that it felt even better than he expected. But on the other hand, it felt like _so much_ so fast, not to mention the mountain of insecurities and fears about getting romantically involved with someone still lurking in the back of his mind. The only thing keeping him grounded at the moment was that he’d shared the moment with Klaus, and Diego couldn’t help but feel that connection with him deepen significantly. If Klaus didn’t make it so easy to let his walls down, Diego wasn’t even sure that he would have _ever_ had a first kiss. 

“Are you sure? You look a little scared,” Klaus said, cautiously reaching up to delicately cup Diego’s jaw and brush a thumb over his cheek.

“Well, I guess I am, but I’m still good,” he said, resisting the impulse to duck away from the soft touch. Nobody had touched his face like that in so long, it was still hard to not expect pain when someone did. Somehow taking a punch was easier to understand than it was to understand why simply having someone brush his cheek with affection made him want to tear up.

“You’re so cute and weird,” Klaus said with a scrunchy nose smile. Diego rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t stop himself from smirking again, too.

“So are you,” Diego said, feeling the stupid butterflies inside flapping like crazy again. Before Klaus could make a big deal out of him returning the sentiment, he took a step back and looked around. “We should get back. There is mist creeping out of the woods down there and I don’t want to get lost out here.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty creepy, too,” Klaus said, starting to walk back. He stopped and held his hand out for Diego to take, and in the face of all his fears, Diego let himself take it and walk with him.

Once the euphoria of the moment started to wear off, Diego realized he was like, really fucking tired. He had already been up forever and slept like shit the night before. Holding Klaus’ hand was the only thing keeping him alert as they made the trek back to the laundromat. He was still able to appreciate how nice the moment was, walking quietly with Klaus under the moonlight, Klaus glancing at him and smiling sweetly every few minutes.

Thankfully all their stuff was still there undisturbed, so they made quick work of packing it all up and heading back to the motel. Diego wanted a shower before he fell asleep, but it would have to wait until morning. Clearly Klaus felt the same, only using the bathroom long enough to pee, change his clothes and brush his teeth. He must have noticed that it made Diego uncomfortable for him to run around in his underwear, so he’d picked up a pair of purple pajama shorts and a plain grey tank top at the thrift store. Diego knew it would be weird to vocalize his thanks for that so he kept quiet, but he did appreciate it.

After he did his own nightly bathroom business, he came back out to see Klaus standing in the corner taking a picture of their motel room. He had no idea why Klaus would want that, it was ugly as fuck and outdated in here, but he wasn’t going to question it, even though he was pretty sure Klaus had caught him leaving the bathroom in the picture.

“I’ve never scrap booked before, but I think I’m going to pick it up,” Klaus said, shaking the developing picture. “I love this thing.”

Diego gave him a sleepy nod and padded over to his bed, always the bed closest to the door. Klaus always picked the one further into the room, and Diego wondered if it was because it made him feel safer. He sat on the edge of his bed and grabbed the alarm clock, setting it for another ungodly early hour. Klaus sat on the floor between their two beds, dragging one of his thrift store bags on the floor toward him and tucking the picture he just took and several others into the pages of one of Diego's books. 

“Oh hey, look,” Klaus said, handing Diego one of the pictures. “Don’t get mad.”

“When did you take this?” Diego asked, frowning as he saw himself sitting at the table in the laundromat reading a magazine through the glass window front of the laundromat. It looked artsy and slightly unfocused, like he was just a background model, but it still made him feel weird. He didn’t like having his picture taken, even as a kid.

“Right before I came in. It just looked cool, you sitting there alone in all black in this bright ass white room, when everything outside was dark. I like it,” he said, taking the fingers of Diego’s right hand into his left hand.

“I just hate looking at myself in pictures,” Diego said, trying to be cool about it but it was hard. 

“You look fine, Diego. But I understand. I did for a long time, too,” Klaus said. 

Diego watched Klaus pull his hand toward his face and kiss his knuckles across the barbed wire tattoo. It was so fucking soft and sweet that it made Diego want to tear up again, but it did little to make him hate himself any less. All he could see were all the lips he’d split with those knuckles, the people he’d hurt, and here Klaus was kissing his hand gently like he was a fair maiden. He didn’t deserve this level of tenderness, not after the things he’d done in his life, and yet Klaus seemed more than happy to give it to him freely. 

“W-we should sleep,” Diego said, his voice unsteady as he pulled his hand away and tried to shove down the black cloud of self-loathing taking over again. He wanted to feel light again like he had earlier, to let himself live in that moment as he drifted off, but he was having a hard time drawing up the memory now.

“Yeah, probably. ‘Night,” Klaus said, yawning behind his hand. 

He didn’t seem to feel slighted by Diego pulling his hand away. He just stretched and crawled up in bed, rucking up all the sheets and blankets like he usually did. Diego turned off the lights and tried to settle in, hoping that his exhaustion would stop him from overthinking and keeping himself awake. Klaus fell asleep almost instantly the moment his head hit the pillow. Diego let himself focus on Klaus’ steady breathing until he eventually drifted off, too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update: May 8th! (and it will be a little later in the day Friday, rather than right after midnight like usual. My bff's birthday is the 7th, so I'll be a little busy Thursday night!)


	5. The Tower: Four

_** September 1st, 2015, 8:38am ** _

“Hey, Diego, wake up,” Klaus said, making Diego snap his eyes open and sit up too fast. He had been sleeping so hard he couldn’t even remember what he’d been dreaming about. 

“What time is it?” he asked, realizing it was already like, full blown morning outside. 

“Only 8:30, but I think your alarm didn’t go off,” Klaus said, sitting on the edge of his bed and rubbing his eyes. 

“I can’t believe I slept so long,” Diego said, even though it was only an hour later than he’d set the alarm for. He almost slept for a full 7 and a half hours, which was longer than he’d slept in forever. He was used to waking up _before_ the alarm. 

“Well, you’ve been running yourself ragged the last couple days. You probably needed the recharge,” Klaus said, standing up and heading to the bathroom. “Do you care if I shower first?”

“No, that’s fine. I’m going to go find coffee,” Diego said. 

“Are we still going to the diner?” Klaus asked. 

“Yeah, sure,” Diego said, kicking off the covers and getting up.

Their room was right around the corner from the lobby this time, so he made it back to the room in under 10 minutes carrying 2 paper cups. One was coffee for himself, the other was hot water with a tea bag string hanging over the edge for Klaus. He thought about pouring the tea in Klaus’ new mug, but it hadn’t been washed yet, so he made a mental note to do that next time. He was just getting ready to sort the clean laundry from the night before when Klaus came out of the bathroom. Diego did a double take as Klaus streaked out in just a towel, wrapped around him from under his armpits instead of around his waist, like he had boobs to cover or something.

“Sorry, forgot to bring my stuff in,” Klaus said, snatching his plastic bag of clothes off the edge of his bed and dashing back in the bathroom. Diego smiled after him and shook his head. 

A few minutes later Klaus came out of the bathroom fully dressed and fresh, looking happier than Diego had ever seen him. He was wearing the same jeans as yesterday, with a new navy blue tank top with white border on the sleeves and neckline, and a big, blue full moon logo on the chest.

“Blue Moon, is that some kind of liquor? I feel like I’ve seen that logo before,” Diego said.

“Oh, yeah, it’s a beer logo. You probably saw it on a sign in a bar. It only tastes good if you squeeze like half an orange in it, though,” Klaus said. “To be honest I just like the moon design. They also had a Marlboro t-shirt that was cool, but I would stain white like, immediately.”

“Nah, not cool. Wearing cigarette company merchandise is tacky, anyway,” Diego said, bunching up his fresh clothes and heading into the bathroom before Klaus could argue.

As Diego showered he tried not to think about the night before, about how he’d let Klaus in a little too deep. He could still taste the gin on his breath, feel the ghost of Klaus on his lips and it sent a shiver down his spine, even under the hot shower spray. What if he had _expectations_ now? What if he wanted more than Diego could possibly ever give him? Diego was a lot of things, but ‘relationship material’ was definitely not one of them. 

It was too early for this shit. Diego took a deep breath and visualized the water washing everything down the drain - the uncertainty, the pain and fear, the bitterness and darkness. It helped somewhat, at least enough to help him face the rest of the day. When he turned off the shower and stepped out, his reflection caught his eye. He had already forgotten about the tattoo they had covered yesterday. He glared at it in the mirror for a few seconds and wished the makeup was permanent. But no, he would be marked like this forever. Even if he had another tattoo covering it, he could never forget what was under it - his truth. 

The second he stepped back out in the motel room Klaus looked up at him, and the tattoo. 

“Oh, right. We have to cover that again,” Klaus said, thankfully looking away before he noticed Diego roll his eyes. It wasn’t Klaus’ fault he hated it so much, he was only trying to help. 

“We’ll have to make it quick if we still want to have time for the diner,” Diego said, striding across the room to his bed and slamming his dirty pajamas in the duffle bag with an attitude.

“It will only take me like 5 minutes, it’s okay,” Klaus said, and Diego could hear by his diminished tone that Klaus could sense his bad mood. There was no concealing that sort of thing when Klaus could apparently pick up on vibes that nobody else could.

Klaus understood that they were on tighter schedule now that they’d slept in and he helped Diego get everything in the car with haste, and then told Diego to lean his butt against the car hood. He handed Diego all the makeup he needed and told him to just hold it, so he did. 

“Step one is always going to be to stop frowning,” Klaus said cheerfully, standing too close, almost between Diego’s knees. That was always the hardest step, but Diego did his best. It was especially difficult when Klaus was standing so close again, and all he could feel was anxious about having to look him in the eye. “Better.”

Today it was easier for Diego to keep his eyes closed as Klaus added all the layers of junk to his face. Normally it would make him flinch to not see the touch coming, but he still felt safe with Klaus despite having anxiety about the night before. Until he felt Klaus cup his face and run a thumb over his cheek, anyway. That had nothing to do with makeup. 

“Hey… are you okay?” Klaus asked, and Diego forced himself to open his eyes and look at him even though he was scared. He was still so damn pretty, and the uncertainty on his face made Diego feel bad. 

“I’m fine,” he said flatly, feeling way too exposed just from the eye contact. Klaus’ eyes were concerned, and Diego knew that his own were dark and loveless at the moment. 

“I feel like you’re mad at me,” Klaus said, crossing his arms self consciously and stepping back from Diego’s personal space. Diego took a deep breath and exhaled out of his mouth with heavy exasperation.

“I’m not mad at you. I’m just in a mood that has nothing to do with you, okay? It happens sometimes. I’ll be fine in a while,” Diego said, standing up and handing Klaus all the products. 

“Promise it’s not about me?” Klaus said quietly, like he was afraid of Diego snapping at him. Back to this again. He bit his lip and stared critically at Klaus. He didn’t want to lie to him anymore, they were beyond that. 

“I can at least promise that you did nothing wrong, okay?” he said, and that was the truth. 

“You’re regretting it, aren’t you?” Klaus said, and Diego wished he could drag his hands down his own face without ruining the fresh makeup.

“I’m not sure, to be honest with you. I’m having a lot more complex feelings than just ‘mad’ or ‘regret,’ but either way, it’s still not about anything you did wrong,” Diego said, stepping toward him and resting his hand on Klaus’ crossed arms. “Like you said, we process things differently. So just… can you give me some mental space for a while and trust that everything is fine?”

“Okay, sure,” Klaus said, moving his arm to take Diego’s hand and give it a squeeze. “But you can talk to me about how you’re feeling, when you want to.”

“I know, and I appreciate it. But right now the only thing I want to talk about is breakfast,” Diego said, slapping the roof of the car. “Let’s go.”

Diego wasn’t sure why, but somehow just that little confession made him feel partially better. It seemed to help Klaus too, and they both walked into the diner in higher spirits. It was packed at this time of morning, which normally would be too overstimulating for Diego, but he was too hungry to let it come between him and a plate of food. They found a booth that an employee had just finished wiping down and sat across from each other. 

“Holy shit, I want to order everything,” Klaus said, dragging a plastic, standup frame with the ‘Specials’ menu inside toward himself. “I wonder if they have waffles.”

“That dude over there is eating one, I think you’re in luck,” Diego said, smiling when Klaus did. 

“Amazing, I already know what I want then,” Klaus said, shoving the menu across the table to Diego. He glanced at it for a moment and picked out the special with the most food.

“I thought I would feel better after sleeping that long, but I can’t wake up,” Diego said, rubbing his eyes and expecting to find crusty sleep still in the corners, but there wasn’t. 

“You probably overslept, then. It happens to me sometimes, too,” Klaus said, just as a server approached their table and set down 2 full menus. 

“Good morning! My name is Brad, I’ll be helping you today. What can I get you to drink?” he said, and Diego tried not to cringe at his overly friendly customer service tone.

“Just a black coffee and a glass of water,” Diego said. “And to save you a trip, I’ll take your number 2 special, with bacon and the eggs over easy.”

“Okay great,” Brad said, scribbling it down on his notepad.

“And I want whatever item in here that gives me a waffle,” Klaus said, pointing at the full menu he hadn’t opened. Brad laughed. 

“Okay, sure, no problem. That comes with a side of meat-” he started, but Klaus interrupted him.

“Bacon, extra crispy. I want it to feel like I’m eating brittle tree bark,” he said, making Diego wrinkle his nose and chuckle at the same time. “And a chocolate milk.”

“I’ll get that in for you and be back with your drinks in just a minute,” Brad said, taking the menus and heading toward the kitchen. 

“What?” Klaus said once he caught Diego’s expression.

“Nothing,” Diego said, but he knew his smirk was giving him away. “You’re just funny.”

“What? Why? Is it weird to get extra crispy bacon?”

“No, but calling it ‘ _tree bark_ ’ is,” Diego said, “Especially to his face.”

“Whatever,” Klaus said with a shrug. “Sometimes people don’t understand that I literally want it to shatter if I smack it on the table.”

“But why!?” Diego said, his cheeks hurting from all this smiling he’d been doing lately.

“Because I like the crunch, okay?” Klaus said with fake defense, but he was also smiling too hard to even pretend.

“There was some dry mulch in the flowerbed outside, we can grab you a handful on the way out for a road snack,” Diego said, making Klaus roll his eyes again. 

“When did you become such a smartass?” Klaus asked, and Diego just smirked and shrugged. 

“I think you make it easy because I know you’re not going to punch my lights out for a little bit of light teasing,” Diego said, but the pure honesty of that took a few seconds to roll over him. He was allowed to have _fun_ with Klaus, rather than having to be completely rigid and humorless around the gang and guards.

“The only time I’ll hit you is if you try to tickle me. It wouldn’t even be on purpose, just a reflex,” Klaus said. Diego’s eyes opened wide and he shook his head.

“Why would you tell someone your weakness like that? Now you know I’m going to _have_ to at some point,” Diego said, unable to stop fucking smirking to save his life.

“Only if you have a death wish. Don’t underestimate me. I fucking hate that shit,” Klaus said with raised eyebrows, pointing a spoon threateningly at him. Diego didn’t feel threatened in the slightest.

“You know what, me too. Let's agree to never exploit that weakness against each other,” Diego said, and Klaus nodded. 

“Deal,” he said, reaching his “Good Bye” tattooed hand out for a shake. 

Diego knew what was going to happen but he reached out anyway, shaking Klaus’ hand. He wasn’t surprised in the least that Klaus didn’t immediately let go, but he wasn’t bothered by it either. Diego watched their hands as Klaus gently rubbed his thumb over the top of his hand, and he found himself smiling even though he was still scared of it all. Just as he looked up for some too-intense eye contact, Brad returned with their drinks. Diego pulled his hand out of Klaus’ grip and cleared his throat. 

“Alright, your food should be up very shortly, so I’ll be right back,” Brad said, completely unfazed by them holding hands at the table like a couple or something.

Diego wrapped his hands around his mug of hot coffee and stared out of the window. He was avoiding eye contact, but Klaus seemed to understand and he applied himself to people watching instead. It only took another 6 minutes before Brad returned with their food, and Diego couldn’t wait to inhale the whole meal. 

“It looks magnificent, thank you,” Klaus said as Brad set down a plate with a giant Belgian waffle on it, along with a smaller plate of ridiculously crunchy bacon and a bottle of syrup.

“I told the cook you said ‘tree bark’ and he knew exactly what you meant,” Brad said, and Klaus held his hand up with a ‘See!’ gesture at Brad and stared pointedly at Diego.

“Okay, okay. Just eat your garbage bacon and don’t gloat,” Diego said, rolling his eyes but still smirking as he took a bite of his own, _normal_ bacon.

Since Diego was focused on packing as much food in his body as possible, and Klaus was busy making a sticky-ass mess with the syrup, they were both too preoccupied to talk much more. It wasn’t until Brad returned with the bill and set it in front of Diego that either of them spoke. Klaus laughed and Diego gave him a questioning look. 

“He must have decided you’re the top,” Klaus said, once Brad was out of earshot. 

“The what?” Diego said, wrinkling his forehead even deeper. Klaus opened his mouth and shut it again, but seemed to think better of an explanation. He chuckled to himself and shook his head with an affectionate smile. 

“Nevermind, I’ll pay you for my food in the car,” Klaus said, pushing his plate away from himself. “I’m going to go wash my hands while you pay. I’m all sticky.”

“You don’t have to pay me, it’s fine. You just get dinner,” Diego said, trying to shake off the comment that Klaus wouldn’t explain to him. 

After a quick fill-up gas station stop, they were headed back toward the freeway. Klaus had bought snacks and his own pack of smokes for the first time since they’d started traveling together. It was a dumb emotion, but Diego was a little sad about it. He liked sharing his pack with Klaus, but he certainly was never going to vocalize that. He just rarely had a reason to share things with people, so it was nice to actually have something to share with someone for once. 

“I can’t believe we have to do this for like 2 more days. I’m so fucking sick of staring at the side of the road already,” Klaus said, rubbing his eyes with both hands and then peeling his lower lids down as he dragged his hands down his face. 

“Don’t you have tarot cards? Why don’t you read our fortune for the day or whatever,” Diego said, even though he had zero interest in that sort of thing. But he knew Klaus did, and it would give him something to do for a while.

“Are you serious or are you just fucking with me?” Klaus said, his voice hesitantly hopeful. Diego laughed.

“No, I’m not fucking with you, go ahead,” Diego said, watching Klaus dive for his coat in the back seat as soon as he had confirmation. “Just don’t get all bent out of shape about the day if you get a fucked up reading.”

“I make no promises,” Klaus said, sitting back down in the seat with his back to the door. He pushed everything off the middle of the bench seat into the footwell on his side, then shuffled his bright green deck. Once it was sufficiently shuffled he set the deck on the seat and closed his eyes, seemingly doing nothing at all. 

“What are you doing?” Diego asked, and Klaus shushed him. He kept still with eyes closed for a few more moments, took a deep breath and then opened his eyes.

“Alright, so,” he said, ignoring Diego’s question. Diego figured he was aligning his chakras or some shit and let it go. “What do you want to know, exactly?”

“I don’t know, _you_ ask the questions. I’m just along for the ride,” Diego said with a shrug.

“You never make anything easy, do you?” Klaus said with a sigh.

Diego could hear Klaus muttering to himself under his breath as he drew a card and laid it on the seat face up, then followed it with two more, in a straight line. Diego couldn’t take his eyes off the road long enough to figure out what ones, but he wouldn’t know what the fuck they meant anyway. Klaus obviously knew though, and he rested his elbows on his knees and held a hand over his mouth as if lost in contemplation as he stared at them. 

It was hard to take seriously for Diego because he didn’t really believe in anything. Not fate, not God, and certainly not that a deck of cards could have any insight on the future. He wanted to be supportive though, because if it was important to Klaus, it was important to him in a way. Diego had no idea when _that_ happened, but nevertheless, he cared about whatever made Klaus happy. Except whatever Klaus was getting from these cards didn’t seem to be making him happy at the moment.

“I’m guessing it’s not great?” Diego asked, judging by the frown on Klaus’ face.

“I’m not sure yet,” Klaus said, sweeping up the 3 cards and adding them back to the pile. 

“Wait, what did it say?” Diego asked, wondering why he was even curious. 

“It’s not that simple,” Klaus said dismissively, shuffling the deck again. “I’m going to do it again.”

“What, so you just do it until you get the reading you want? That seems… not very valid,” Diego said skeptically.

“No, I’m asking a different set of questions, _actually_ ,” Klaus said with a note of defensiveness. 

“Well what did you ask first?”

“I don’t want to tell you. It was just about myself, so don’t worry about it,” Klaus said, reaching down in the footwell to grab his cigarettes. “Got a light?”

“Okay, whatever you say,” Diego said, rolling his eyes. He reached in his jeans pocket and pulled out his lighter. When Klaus tried to take it he pulled it back. “I’ll light it, you’re a lighter thief. You’ve lost at least one lighter a day since I’ve met you, including mine.”

“Alright, I’ll own that,” Klaus said with the smoke between his lips, leaning forward for Diego to light the tip.

“So what are you asking now?”

“You wanted to know about the day, right?” 

“Sure,” Diego said, watching Klaus reach for a mostly-empty water bottle on the floor to ash into. 

“Okay, so I’ll ask something basic like, ‘What are the 3 main things we should expect for today?’” Klaus said.

“Is it always 3 cards?”

“No, you can do like a million different spreads, but 3 is pretty standard. Plus, I only have a small space to work with,” Klaus said. He rubbed at some smoke in his eye and reached to draw the first card. He smiled. “Awww, that’s sweet. Alright, so this is Two of Cups. That means uh- partnership or unity. It can also mean... romantic connection, if you wanted to interpret it that way.” 

“I’m not interpreting anything, but go on,” Diego said, smiling in spite of feeling a streak of anxiety. It’s not like he needed a tarot card to tell him that connection was developing, but it was still strange that it would come up. Klaus drew the next card and frowned again. 

“Judgement reversed,” Klaus said, taking a hit off his cigarette and sighing on the exhale. 

“What do you mean ‘reversed?’”

“That just means the card was drawn upside down.”

“That matters?”

“Yes,” Klaus said. “Judgement reversed is fear, self-doubt or self-loathing, or lack of self-awareness, or not learning lessons from past mistakes, or malicious gossip in some cases.”

“That’s a lot of meanings for one card, that could apply to an endless number of things,” Diego said dismissively. 

“No, not really. It depends on what you asked, and also on the card that came before it sometimes. This is a linear spread, so…” Klaus started, and then started at Diego for a moment before continuing. “I would say one or both of us are doubting the unity or connection from the first card. Or feeling bad about it, maybe? Because of a lack of self-love or fear, most likely. But it also generally means that a decision or ‘judgement’ needs to be made in order to move forward in a positive direction. So, you’d have to ‘ _get over yourself,_ ’ for lack of a better phrase, and make a judgement call. And of course I mean ‘you’ subjectively, it could also be about me.”

“You got all that from one card?” Diego said with the same skeptical tone, but he was honestly starting to get a little freaked out. That was… exactly what the fuck was going on here, like to the letter. He had that exact conversation with himself in the shower that morning, and also what he’d been thinking about in the back of his mind all morning.

“Well, it’s a mix of intuition, personal interpretation and yeah, the general card meaning,” Klaus said with a shrug as he dropped his cigarette butt in the water bottle in his lap. “I know you don’t believe it, and that’s fine. But you’re the one that told me to do this.”

“No, please continue, I’m listening. Sorry, I’m just a skeptic by nature,” Diego said, trying to check himself. Klaus was right, he did ask. 

Klaus drew the next card and gasped, then swept up all three cards along with the deck.

“We’re done here,” he said, shoving the cards back in the box with shaky hands and throwing it in the back seat. 

“What the fuck?” Diego said, frowning as Klaus turned in the seat and folded his arms. He looked absolutely _terrified_ of a fucking card, which was ridiculous. “Klaus, you can’t act like that and then not tell me what freaked you out.”

“It’s nothing, just let it go.”

“No, tell me, damn it. Are we going to die or something?” Diego asked, regretting even asking now. He knew this would happen. Psychics always predicted some future impending doom, usually for dramatic effect, to make more money off the person they were scamming. But Klaus didn’t have that reason, and he did look truly shook by the results. 

“I don’t know, but it’s not great, so I’m going to ignore it,” Klaus said, chewing his thumbnail and keeping his eyes trained on the road in front of them.

“Dude, come on. Just explain, maybe it will help you feel better. This involves me too, so isn’t my interpretation important too?”

“... The Tower means a lot of things. On the surface level it means destruction and disaster. The visual representation is a tower built on shaky grounds, with lightning striking it, which causes the tower to fall into flaming ruin,” Klaus said, his voice level in spite of his anxiety. 

“Jesus, well that’s fucked up,” Diego said, which was probably not helping.

“It means there will be a sudden, disastrous upheaval of some kind, but… but it doesn’t always mean like, a physical disaster. It can be emotional, social, or financial too. It’s about your foundations being destroyed and having to start from scratch, with a better understanding, or on an equal footing as whatever brought down the tower,” Klaus said, still hugging himself with crossed arms.

“Well wait, if it’s not meant to be like, _literal_ disaster, what are you afraid of?”

“Because I got the same card when I did my own reading,” Klaus said ominously, sending a shiver down Diego’s back. “Along with the 8 of Wands - the simple meaning being rapid action or quick decisions, and 10 of Swords, meaning… a lot of things, but along with the other two it would logically mean... I think it means I’m going to hurt someone. Or I guess maybe someone is going to hurt me in some way, but I just really feel like it’s going to be me doing the hurting.”

“Klaus, you’re not going to hurt anyone, and I won’t let anyone hurt you either. We’re going to be fine. Look at me,” he said, staring at the side of Klaus’ face until he turned to look back. “I will not let anyone hurt you, okay? No fucking card is going to stop me from protecting you.” 

“But what if you’re the one that _I_ hurt?” Klaus said, his face already crumpled with guilt even though he didn’t do anything wrong.

“You won’t. I trust you, or you wouldn’t be here with me. Shake it off. Nothing is going to happen to us, other than shitty traffic and boring corn fields, alright?” Diego said, glancing back at the road to make sure he wasn’t going to hit anything, and then back at Klaus. “I promise, we will be _fine,_ come what may. I told you not to let this affect you this way. They are just cards, not literal divine prophecies.”

“Okay, if you say so,” Klaus said, but Diego was pretty sure he didn’t believe him.

“I do say so,” Diego said, reaching forward and turning on the radio. “Here, find some songs to drive me crazy with for awhile. It will take your mind off things.”

Klaus finally smirked and nodded. 

After an hour of Klaus somehow knowing and singing every song on the radio (and swallowing a few more pills) he seemed to be in a much better mood. Diego was trying to get there too, but all he could think about was the stupid tarot reading and it calling out his precise dilemma. He knew that if he could only let himself, this ‘connection’ could flourish even faster. He really liked Klaus, faults included, and he really liked their kiss, too. If he set it apart from his own personal hangups, it was hands down the best thing that had ever happened to him. 

All the doubts still clouded his ability to let himself truly enjoy the memory, though. He could easily understand what he liked about Klaus - he was funny, charming, caring, beautiful, quirky and free spirited, among so many other things. But why the fuck did Klaus like him back? Diego was… he was a _bad_ guy. He’d hurt so many fucking people, plenty of them without good reason. He was violent and cranky and cold, he’d already made Klaus cry several times just with his harsh words. Klaus had no idea… _no_ idea how dark Diego had let himself get in prison, especially after his mom passed. If he knew the half of it, would Klaus still be riding in the car with him, singing songs and smiling at him that way? 

But... he’d already seen that darkness. He’d watched Diego slit a man’s throat - a man Klaus cared about, even if it was in a weird Stockholm Syndrome-y way. And yet he still wasn’t afraid, seemed to trust Diego completely. It made no fucking sense. 

_Oh God, what if I am just another Craig to Klaus?_ That hadn’t even occurred to him yet, and he suddenly felt sick. Was Klaus attracted to people that had power over him, people that validated him in the most fucked up way? A savior complex? What if this connection they had was just based on shared trauma or some shit? If Diego would have had the balls to speak to him just one weekend earlier, would Klaus still be into him? Would he still want to kiss him, still want to hold his hand and consider him worthy of all that sweet tenderness he gave so willingly? Diego didn’t think so, and it… hurt his heart just to think about. He wanted this to be real _so_ bad, he wanted to let himself fall head first into this without fear but he couldn’t. Not under these circumstances. Diego didn’t even love himself properly, there was no way he could be the kind of person that Klaus deserved. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Klaus asked, but Diego couldn’t look at him, not right now. 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” he said. He hoped it sounded convincing, because he wasn’t in the mood to explain what was fucking him all up inside. He could feel Klaus studying his face.

“Okay,” Klaus said, “You know I’m listening if you feel like talking.”

“I know, Klaus. Everything is fine, I-” he stopped himself, because he was going to say ‘I promise’ but he couldn’t lie to him like that. He couldn’t make a promise to Klaus that wasn’t sincere. He deserved better. “I guess I’m just feeling… pessimistic.”

“I understand,” Klaus said quietly, and he didn’t press for more details, didn’t tell Diego to ‘just stop’ feeling that way.

“I don’t want to be anymore, but I don’t know how to stop. How do you always seem to look on the bright side and get over things so quickly, even when things are fucked up?” Diego asked, and he genuinely wanted to know the answer. 

“Drugs,” Klaus said simply, at first. “And… I guess because I feel so shitty all the time that I want other people around me to feel better than I do. I try to project my light instead of my dark, you know? If I can make people around me have a good time with all the silliness and wildness, I have a better time, too. Some of it is like, performative, especially on my worst mental health days, but the effect it has on other people really _does_ make me happier. But that’s not who you are, and that’s okay. You have to find your own ways to be happy.”

Jesus, that hit Diego right in the heart. Klaus was really too good for this world. Diego still couldn’t look at him at the moment because he was feeling too many things. When he felt Klaus’ hand close over his own that was resting on the seat next to his leg, he flinched and pulled away. It startled him, and he couldn’t stop the impulse to recoil. Klaus drew his hand back like he’d touched a flame. 

Then Diego remembered he had to make that judgement call, it was time to make that decision and he fucking _wanted this_. He shoved back all that daunting doubt and fear and self-hatred and reached across the space between them. He took Klaus’ hand in his own, laced their fingers together and everything, and held tight even if he kept his eyes forward. In that moment he realized that what made him happy was _Klaus,_ and despite that he didn’t deserve it, he was going to let himself have that happiness, damn it.

He could feel Klaus perk up next to him, felt him slide closer to him on the bench seat until their hands rested on their thighs. Diego only tensed up for a moment at having someone pressed up against his side, then let himself relax into the closeness. Klaus leaned forward and turned off the radio, then settled back and slouched enough to rest his head on Diego’s shoulder. It gave Diego those ridiculous butterflies again because it was so sweet. He could smell the hotel shampoo on Klaus’ hair and wondered how it would feel to snuggle his nose in the top of those curls, to kiss his crown and breathe him in properly. He refrained for now and just let himself enjoy what was already happening. It was almost impossible to feel bleak about anything when Klaus snuggling up to him gave him such a mellow, sweet buzz. 

Klaus stayed that way for a long time, until Diego had to signal to change lanes and reluctantly untangled their fingers. Klaus sat up and stretched, then slid back over to his side of the car. Diego immediately missed the feel of him, but it was still for the best because he was actually getting kinda stiff. 

“I almost fell asleep,” Klaus said, stifling a yawn. “Which is ridiculous since we just woke up.”

“Not to be lame, but you should put a seat belt on. We passed a couple state cops and I don’t want to get pulled over,” Diego said, and Klaus nodded. 

“Oh, shit I didn’t think about that. I’m sorry,” he said. After leaning over the back seat again and grabbing one of his plastic Goodwill bags and an empty fast food bag, he sat back down and pulled his seat belt across himself. 

“No need to apologize, I’m just saying. Just to be safe. Also I don’t want you to die if we get in a wreck,” Diego said. 

“No way, you’re a surprisingly amazing driver for someone that spent eight years out of a car. How long did you even have your license before you got put away?” Klaus asked, pulling some unused extra napkins from the fast food bag.

“Like 8 months, but my dad made me drive fucking _everywhere_ as soon as I could,” Diego said, bristling a bit at the memory. “Having someone train you that will smack you in the head if you fuck up really excellerates how fast you learn something. A police officer, no less.”

“Jesus, did that actually happen?”

“Yep. I stopped at a red light, looked both ways and then turned left, as if it were a stop sign. It was just a moment of stupidity, and it’s not like I was driving recklessly. But he slapped me like 4 times, and I never made a mistake again,” Diego said, and as the words were coming out of his mouth he couldn’t believe he was sharing something like that so candidly. 

“Holy shit, what a fucking asshole! Getting hit while you’re driving is a lot more fucking dangerous than turning too soon at an empty intersection,” Klaus said, frowning and reaching over to squeeze Diego’s shoulder comfortingly. He saw the touch coming so he didn’t flinch this time. 

Diego didn’t know what else to say, because what else was there to say? He let the moment fade away, and Klaus didn’t press him for any more details. He seemed to be focusing on digging something out of the plastic bag. A few moments later Diego smelled the distinct, sharp scent of nail polish remover flood the car. He coughed and rolled down the windows, scowling in Klaus’ general direction.

“Fuck, this is an enclosed space, dude,” he said, pulling his t-shirt collar over his nose.

“Sorry, I should have rolled down the window. My nails look like shit, though,” Klaus said, holding up his super chipped blue fingernails.”The only color that looks good chipped up is black. I’ll be quick.”

Once he’d finished with the polish remover, the smell of the nail polish itself wasn’t nearly as potent. Diego let his shirt fall off his nose and watched Klaus paint his nails with a metallic silver color that looked like mirrored chrome out of the corner of his eye. After he painted them with a clear top coat he held a hand out to admire his work. 

“That looks so fucking cool. I didn’t think chrome would work without powder,” Klaus said, not that Diego knew what the fuck that meant at all. 

“It is pretty cool,” Diego said, and he could see Klaus light up from the compliment. He made a mental note to never withhold compliments when he thought of them, because he could tell Klaus lived for the validation, plus making him smile was quickly becoming Diego’s favorite thing to do. 

“Thank you. I like it, too,” Klaus said, and then started blowing on them.

By the time they stopped for lunch, Diego was already exhausted from driving for so long again. He really needed a break, but they were only a couple days out of Seattle so he couldn’t quit. Not to mention he knew his fake credit card was reaching the maximum limit and it was going to be tight having enough for the rest of the journey as it was. They quickly ate some Subway, Klaus stopped to take some pictures of ducks in a creek, then he held Diego’s hand as they walked back to the car, and then they were back on the road again. 

A song on the radio made Klaus think of a memory, and he started to tell Diego about some girl he was friends with years ago. One story led to another, and after 45 straight minutes of Klaus babbling, he started in on his 7th segue story about increasingly wild tales of his past.

“Oh my god, and then this one time me and my friend Crystal and her cousin Trevor were at a shady strip club where she used to work as a server. Well we started hanging out with this drug dealer that was giving us a ton of free Adderall because he was into her, but she was just not into him. And while we were in the bathroom, in a stall snorting lines with a couple strippers she used to work with, she told me he offered to pay her in like, a fuckton of coke if she would go home with him. So we decided that we should all go back to his house because the club was closing anyway. 

Holy shit, this dude had such a crazy operation going on out of this tiny ass house! I could literally smell the weed wafting out of this place from the driveway. And I’ve never seen so many bags of mushrooms, it had to be like several grand's worth of just ‘shrooms! Well, while he was showing Crystal and her cousin his grow room in the basement, I stayed in the kitchen where I found an _enormous_ tray of weed that he was going to turn into wax, like so much weed. And I just plucked a gallon ziplock bag out of the box on the counter and helped myself. I must have stolen like three fucking ounces and shoved it down my pants, and he didn’t even notice,” Klaus said, waving his hands with wild theatrics as he told the story. “She didn’t end up blowing him, but her cousin totally fucking did even though the dealer swore he wasn’t into guys. 

So when we got back to Crystal’s car, Trevor pulls out the big bag of blow that was promised to her. By this time it’s like 6am and she had to be to work at 10am, but we were still rolling, so we snorted all that shit too, and I didn’t sleep for like three fucking days!”

“How the fuck are you still alive?” Diego said, his eyes permanently open wide in shock as he listened to Klaus tell all these absolutely crazy stories. Klaus laughed. 

“I have no idea, to be honest with you. I must have a very tired guardian angel,” Klaus said.

“I can’t believe you stole from a drug dealer and didn’t get fucking shot. What if he would have had cameras in there?” Diego asked. Klaus shrugged, and then another story occurred to him.

“This one time, while I was still on heroin, I was at this party and I watched a dead girl get carried out on a stretcher because she overdosed. The cops busted everyone at the party with drugs, but thankfully I didn’t have any on me at the time because I had already done them. But seeing that happen is what… It's what made me check myself into rehab. She was only like 14 at the time, and like _nobody_ at the party thought to ask what a fucking 14 year old was doing at a place like that because we were all completely fucked up, too. And then I realized that when I was 14 I was already finding my way into parties like that, too. And-” Klaus stopped himself and looked at Diego’s face. “Fuck, sorry, you’re probably so sick of listening to me talk.”

“No, you’re fine. Please continue, I like to listen to you talk,” Diego said, really wanting to hear more about Klaus _choosing_ rehab. Diego assumed it would have been court ordered. Apparently Diego saying that touched Klaus so much he started to get misty.

“You like hearing me ramble? Really?”

“Yeah I do, even if what you’re saying is totally fucking bananas,” Diego said, and Klaus gave him a sentimental smile.

“That’s just... so hard for me to believe. Everyone always tells me to shut up when I go off like that,” Klaus said.

“I will never tell you to shut up,” Diego said, and he meant it. Maybe in the beginning he got overwhelmed by hearing Klaus’ long-winded rambles, but not anymore. “I want you to tell me more about rehab. When was this?”

“Oh, it was um, last year,” Klaus said, and Diego watched his smile slip into a frown. 

“Why did you start taking the pain killers if you went through all the trouble to get clean?” Diego asked anyway.

“Because it eases many of the fucked up symptoms of being sober. Anxiety attacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, suicide ideation, the return of a billion unpleasant memories that drugs help me ignore, randomly crying for no goddamn reason,” Klaus said, shaking his head. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m completely sober.” 

“I don’t know, I have pretty much all of those symptoms and you seem to still like me for some reason,” Diego said, trying to give him a reassuring smile of some sort, but Klaus wasn’t looking at him. “But, you know there are other medicines to help those things that aren’t narcotics, though, right?”

“Oh, sure. It’s wrong for me to take _these_ pills, but it’s totally fine to take some shit with equally disturbing side effects just because a doctor says _that_ one is okay,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes.

“Klaus, you don’t need to get defensive. I’m not judging you, man,” Diego said, realizing he must have said the wrong thing again. Klaus ignored him and carried on with his sarcastic rhetoric. 

“Nancy in Human Resources takes a legal cocktail of Ativan, Seroquel and Xanax just to survive a hard day at the office but I’m the fucked up one, right?”

“Klaus, please. I get where you’re coming from, okay? I refuse to take any of that other shit for my issues, too. But I’m still not slamming a handful of vicodin when I have nightmares and panic attacks, either,” Diego said.

“Y-you...-” Klaus stopped himself from saying whatever it was he wanted to say. He narrowed his eyes at Diego and took a deep breath. “I guess I’m just not as strong as you are. And I thought we agreed you weren’t going to hassle me about this anymore?”

“Alright, I’m sorry. It was just supposed to be a discussion, not an interrogation,” Diego said, but he was distracted by realizing exactly what Klaus stopped himself from saying. The last time Diego brought this up, Klaus accused Diego of having a violence addiction, and he still couldn’t deny it. He sighed. “You are strong, by the way.”

“What?” Klaus snapped, and Diego felt it was oddly defensive for what he’d said. 

“I said you’re strong. You have been through some shit I couldn’t even imagine and you’re still here. Don’t discredit that much just because you have other things you’re still struggling with, too,” Diego said. Klaus scoffed but he looked like he was fighting back a smile. 

“You should write greeting cards, that was inspirational as fuck,” Klaus said. He finally let himself smirk when Diego laughed. 

“Maybe I will when we get to Seattle, you never know,” Diego said with a shrug. 

“What… what do you actually plan to do when you get there? Like after the shitstorm blows over?” Klaus asked, and it immediately flung Diego into a mild bout of existential dread.

“I have no idea. I guess I’ve been so preoccupied with not going back to prison that I haven’t thought about it,” he said, letting out an exhale that fluttered his lips. “I guess I’ll... have to find an under the table job and try to make enough to get out of that city to a safer place.”

“So the running never ends, does it?” Klaus said, certainly not helping to lighten the conversation at all. 

“I guess not,” Diego said, his chest feeling a lot heavier now. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it dark. I’m just getting more anxious the closer we get because I have no idea what I’m going to do in a new city. I’m…. I’m afraid to be homeless again in a city where I don’t know anyone,” Klaus said, reaching for his pack of smokes and lighting one with the lighter he definitely stole from Diego. If any conversation warranted a pensive smoke, it was this one.

“I won’t let that happen to you,” Diego blurted out, before he could even think of the implication. Klaus paused in the middle of rolling down the window and gave Diego a pointed look.

“You still want to hang out with me after we get there?” he asked, as if it was impossible to believe. Diego couldn’t believe it either, but his mind was already made up without even consulting himself first. 

“Yes. I like your company, and I got you into this mess, anyway. I’m not going to leave you hanging,” he said, feeling it sincerely despite having made the decision on the spot. He certainly hadn’t considered what would happen to their… friendship? partnership? once they reached their destination. But he didn’t have to think twice, he wanted to keep Klaus in his life.

“You don’t have to do that. You don’t owe me anything, Diego. I understand if you-”

“Klaus, listen to my words. I want you with me, okay? Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely terrified of what I’m going to do when I get there, but… it will be better with you with me, no matter what it is,” Diego said. He held his hand out palm up on the seat. Klaus smiled and took his hand.

“Okay, if that’s what you really want,” Klaus said, holding on tight, like Diego’s hand was a lifeline. Diego supposed maybe it was, for both of them. 

“I do. And I also want to stop driving soon. How long have we been on the road?” Diego asked, blinking at the radio clock. “Fuck, only 7 hours. If I stop at around 7 o’clock it will make my drive like… 10 and a half hours tomorrow. I can do it.”

“Are you sure? I’m sick to death of sitting in the car too, but I can still hang on for a few more hours if it will make tomorrow easier,” Klaus said, but Diego could hear the cheer come back to his voice just at the mere suggestion they might be out of the car soon.

“No, I’m sure. It will be better to get into Seattle later at night, anyway,” Diego said, holding the steering wheel with his thigh and rubbing his eyes with the hand not holding onto Klaus. “We will just get a hell of a good rest tonight.”

“I can’t believe we will be there tomorrow night. Maybe you should check in with Luther?” Klaus said.

“Shit, that’s probably a good idea. Not that I ever want to speak to him, but he’ll want to know when to expect us,” Diego said, yawning at the end of his sentence. 

“ _You._ He’ll want to know when to expect you, not us. Unless you told him about me?”

“Uh… I guess I didn’t. But it’s fine, he isn’t going to throw you out. He will get over it,” Diego said matter-of-factly. 

“If you say so,” Klaus said, but he didn’t sound convinced. Diego wasn’t actually sure either, but he wouldn’t let Luther refuse. At this point they were a package deal and Luther was just going to have to fucking deal with it. 

“Grab the map and tell me what city is next off this godforsaken highway,” Diego said, letting Klaus’ hand go so he could dig the map out of the back seat. “I need like, a beer or something.”

Livingston, Montana wasn’t where Diego had planned on stopping for the night, but at least they found a motel easily. It was a lot nicer than their other rooms, with a free breakfast, too. That would save them some time in the morning, anyway. They had decided to drop off their shit in the room, call Luther, then go back out for food and whatever else they could get up to. Diego wasn’t quite as nervous about prowling around a town in the middle of Montana as he was about Chicago, so he was going to try to let himself relax for once.

After they threw all their bags on the bed, Diego steeled himself to having to call Luther.

“Hargreeves,” Luther said after a couple rings, and Diego resisted the urge to groan. 

“Hey, I’m about 11 hours out of Seattle, in Montana,” he said, not even identifying himself. Luther would know. 

“Jesus Christ, Diego. You really fucked up, didn’t you?”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Did you fucking _kill_ some piece of shit pimp in Philly?”

“Yes,” Diego said, feeling his temper flaring dangerously.

“You can’t come here right now. I’ve had cops up my ass for the last 2 days looking for you here,” Luther said, and Diego couldn’t take a breath. “They placed you at the scene with a blood sample and they thought you might run here. Please tell me you didn’t kidnap the whore, too?”

“No I fucking didn’t, he left with me willingly,” Diego snapped. Luther let out a long, audible sigh. 

“What the hell is wrong with you, Diego? How dare you murder _another_ person and then ask for my _help_? Did you learn fucking nothing in prison?” Luther snapped back. Diego felt flames bursting out of his face. 

“ _Fuck you, Luther_! You have no fucking idea what prison is like, motherfucker,” Diego snarled, clutching the reciever so hard he heard plastic crack under his hand. “For your fucking information that pimp was about to kill me and Klaus. I did what I had to do, don’t you ever fucking judge me!”

Diego looked up long enough to see Klaus sitting on the other bed with his hands over his mouth, cowering down and staring at him in horror as he absorbed one side of the conversation. It took Diego every ounce of willpower to not throw the whole phone against the wall, but for now all he could do was hurl f-bombs.

“Listen-”

“No you listen, Luther! You don’t have to help me, fucking forget I asked. Just keep your goddamn mouth shut if the cops come back,” Diego said, almost slamming the phone down on the hook until he heard Luther speak again.

“Will you _shut up_ for a second? Christ, you’re an even bigger fucking asshole now than you were when you were a kid. I’m _still_ going to help you, the plan has just changed. Are you listening?”

“... Yes,” Diego ground out, barely keeping his voice from trembling with rage like the rest of him.

“I have a friend in Oregon that you can stay with for a couple weeks if need be. She lives in a sort of safehouse, and I swear to God if you drag the cops there I will kill you myself. I’m going to give you the address, but do not write it down. Don’t mark it on a map, don’t tell your whore friend, don’t ask anyone for directions there. Understood?”

“Yes.”

“It’s an extremely tiny town, there is no convenient highway to follow so you’re going to need to follow a map. 487 Nightengale Trail, Shaniko, Oregon. There are only 40 people in the whole town, and half of them are my employees, there to keep her safe,” Luther said, and Diego tried extremely hard to commit the address to memory. “Repeat it back to me, unless you’re not alone.”

“I’m not. I got it, don’t worry about it,” Diego said tonelessly. His blood pressure was still through the roof, he could hardly even speak. 

“Call me when you get there. She will be expecting you. Don’t commit any more fucking crimes in the mean time. I can’t clean up every mess for you,” Luther said snidely, and Diego finally snapped.

Instead of saying goodbye or hanging up like a normal person, Diego stood up and ripped the whole phone right off the cord and threw it against the wall. The smash and clatter as the phone hit the wood-paneled wall and then the floor was satisfying, but he still wanted to scream and punch Luther in his jackass fucking face. Then he remembered he wasn’t alone, and whirled back around to check on Klaus. He was still frozen in the same position on his bed, flinching as Diego turned as if he expected his anger to be directed at him next. 

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” Diego said, feeling like he punched himself in the gut. “Klaus, I’m so sorry for lashing out. I’m not angry with you, I promise.”

“I know, it’s okay,” Klaus said, unfolding his legs and standing up.

Diego was still shaking with untapped rage, even after seeing Klaus flinch away from him had sobered him considerably. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting Klaus to do, but it certainly wasn’t a _hug._ He didn’t seem afraid anymore as he moved closer and wrapped his arms around Diego’s ribs and rested his chin on Diego’s shoulder. 

At first it was too much, too close and Diego felt himself freeze and his breath caught in his chest. Klaus didn’t let go though, and eventually Diego let himself relax into the embrace. It felt… really nice, honestly, and Diego decided that Klaus must have needed this, too. He loosely wrapped an arm around Klaus’ shoulders and breathed him in the way he’d wanted to do earlier. 

It was hard to stay mad when being held like this was so sweet, like Klaus’ arms around him were able to neutralize most of the fear and rage he’d been feeling. He was still angry with Luther, he was still terrified that the cops had been looking for him in a place he’d expected to be safe… but for the time being, it took a back seat to the flood of oxytocin that you get from a good, tight hug. It had been so long since he’d had this that he could barely even remember what it was like anymore. The only person that had ever hugged him had been Grace, so the feeling was still bittersweet. 

Klaus pulled away first, but kept his hands on Diego’s ribs as he leaned back to look at his face.

“Do you want to just order pizza to the room and I’ll run across the street and get some beer or something? We don’t have to go out,” Klaus said. Diego shook his head.

“No, we can go out. Nothing is going to happen to us here,” Diego said, reaching up and taking Klaus’ hands from his sides and holding them. 

“Are you sure? Maybe it would be safer to-”

“It’s fine. I need to go somewhere else that’s not the car or a motel room,” Diego said firmly, giving Klaus’ hands a reassuring squeeze before dropping them to go pick up the phone he’d thrown. 

This city was more populated than the last one they’d stayed in in North Dakota, and it was still early so everything was mildly busy. Neither of them were overly hungry yet, but Klaus saw a sign for “Neptune’s Brewery” and decided it sounded interesting enough to check out. It had a nautical theme, which was not what Diego had expected at all, but it was pretty cool. They decided to sit outside on the patio seating, but not before they stopped to marvel at the fish tank full of neat fish inside, which was set into the wall as a backdrop to the bar. Once they were finally seated outside, Diego was anxious about the menu, as most things seemed to be sushi or sashimi and he had never eaten either of those things. 

“You will like it, I swear. Sushi is fucking amazing,” Klaus said, trying to point out things to Diego that he might eat. “If you eat these rolls with this sauce, you’ll have a new favorite food.”

“I doubt that,” Diego said skeptically, wrinkling his nose at a picture of a rectangle plate full of raw tuna rolls. 

“Do you like spicy stuff?”

“Yes,” Diego said. “But I still don’t want to eat raw tuna.” 

“Oh jeez, fine. I’ll get this giant platter with a bunch of different kinds and you can get chicken fingers from the kid’s menu because you’re a big fuckin’ chicken,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and sticking his tongue out. 

“I am _not_ a chicken,” Diego said, frowning even though he knew Klaus was just playing. 

“Alright. I’m going to make you try a few of the rolls I get, then,” Klaus said. Diego groaned softly. 

“Fine. But if I throw up raw fish you’re cleaning it up,” Diego said with a shrug. 

“You’re _not_ going to throw up,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and smirking. “So dramatic.”

When their waiter set down a platter of vibrantly colorful and interesting looking rolls in front of Klaus 45 minutes later, Diego tried to pretend not to be intrigued. He had only ever seen sushi in pictures and in little plastic containers at the supermarket. The supermarket ones looked nothing like these though, these were like art. They were sprinkled with seeds and tiny chopped vegetables that Diego couldn’t identify, and then drizzled with several colorful sauces; the pickled ginger on the side was even shaped like a flower with a long smear of wasabi as the stem. He never would have expected such a fancy plate to come out of a small brewery restaurant like this.

“Oh my god, this is so pretty! I don’t even want to eat it,” Klaus said, marveling at his enormous platter. There were definitely too many rolls for him to eat alone, but Diego had already ordered a burger, which also looked delicious but not nearly as eye popping.

“Weird, I don’t want to eat it either,” Diego teased. Klaus rolled his eyes again and picked up his chopsticks. 

“Too bad, you said,” Klaus said, picking up one of the rolls and shoving it in his mouth. He groaned obscenely and nodded his head, then spoke with his mouth full. “They are just as fucking amazing as they look. Here.”

Klaus picked up another one of the kind that he’d just eaten, holding it up to Diego across the table.

“Dude, I’m not eating that from your chopsticks. Just set it on my plate and I’ll use a fork,” Diego said, leaning back in the chair as Klaus leaned even closer with the roll toward Diego’s mouth.

“Just eat it! You can’t eat sushi with a fucking _fork,_ that’s sacrilege! Or at least disrespectful,” Klaus said, waving the roll in a circle in front of his face like Diego was a toddler that wouldn’t eat without the airplane game. 

Diego shut his eyes and groaned again, then opened his mouth. He could not believe he just let Klaus fucking _feed_ him, but not as much as he couldn’t believe the explosion of flavor in his mouth. The textures were weird as hell at first, but all the ingredients together were phenomenal. He opened his eyes to see Klaus with his chin on his hand, smirking softly as he watched Diego experience sushi for the first time. 

“Look at that, you didn’t die,” Klaus said, picking up a piece of ginger and eating it. 

“Yeah okay, it wasn’t terrible,” Diego said, fighting back a smile as he tried to act noncommittal.

“Well help yourself, I have way too many,” Klaus said, moving their drinks aside and sliding the platter toward the middle of the table. “Did you know sushi is an aphrodisiac?”

“Uh- no I didn’t. I’ve never been turned on by food, I don’t think,” Diego said, feeling his cheeks blush like they always fucking did when the subject came up. 

“Then you’re not eating the right foods. There is nothing sexy about a hamburger and fries,” Klaus said, then picked up another pretty roll. “But this? I’m half hard already and it’s not even in my mouth yet.” 

“Jesus, Klaus,” Diego breathed, shutting his eyes again and covering his face for a few seconds. He dropped his hands and shook his head. “You are the weirdest person I’ve ever met.”

“Oh honey, you really have _no_ idea,” Klaus said with a wink, then stuffed the roll in his mouth whole. Diego was probably not going to survive the rest of this meal.

As they finished their food and packed up the leftovers, a storm started to roll in from the west. The air felt electric, warm and heavy with humidity as they walked out after they paid the bill. They had planned on walking around town for a while before retiring for the night, but the clouds were making it a lot darker than it should be, and it didn’t look like it was going to take long to get nasty out. 

Tiny droplets speckled their clothes while they walked away from the restaurant, but by the time they made it back to the room it had started to rain heavily. Diego’s head was still fuzzy from the tall beer he drank, and Klaus was already stripping off his wet tank top as soon as they walked in the room. Diego heard the thunder roll deeply as he sat on the foot of his bed, threading a hand through his wet hair. 

“I fucking love thunderstorms,” Klaus said, coming out of the bathroom with a hand towel that he was scrubbing his hair with. Diego watched him scrub the towel down his arms and bare chest next and he had to look away. 

“Me too,” he said, swallowing hard and wondering if maybe there was some plausibility to that aphrodisiac thing. 

“Aren’t you going to put dry clothes on?” Klaus asked, suddenly standing in front of Diego. 

“Um, yeah, I guess I should,” Diego said, feeling his skin get heated from a shirtless Klaus being so close to him. 

Instead of handing him the towel to do it himself, Klaus leaned forward and scrubbed the towel over Diego’s hair for him with both hands. It was a smooth move, because as Klaus moved backward toward the nape of Diego’s neck with the towel, he instinctively tilted his head back with it. He was looking up at Klaus’ face now, and he knew what was coming next. Klaus rested his forearms gently on Diego’s shoulders and dipped his head for a kiss. Diego closed his eyes and accepted it even though he could feel himself getting anxious already. Klaus’ lips on his felt just as soft and sweet as last time, still tingling with a hint of wasabi and beer. He felt Klaus hum softly and smile against his mouth. 

“Wanted to do that all day,” Klaus whispered over his lips, then peppered soft kisses over his cheeks and chin and lips. “Is this okay?”

“Yes,” Diego said faintly, turning his head to catch Klaus’ mouth on his cheek in another kiss. 

It seemed to encourage Klaus, and he dropped the towel behind Diego’s back and cupped his jaw with one hand to kiss him. When Diego felt Klaus’ tongue along the seam of his lips, he didn’t back out this time. He parted his mouth and cautiously met Klaus’ tongue with his own. His body flushed even hotter and he leaned back to take a shaky breath. 

“Scootch back,” Klaus said, and Diego obeyed before it even occurred to him what was about to happen next.

Klaus held on to Diego’s wet shoulders and straddled his waist on the bed, one knee on either side of Diego’s hips. It felt fucking scandelous to him, but he knew this was _normal,_ this was _okay._ They were both adults, they were both consenting, nothing was _wrong_ here - but of course his anxiety didn’t care about that. He shoved it back as best he could, because he _wanted this_ , damn it, like even more than he could ever admit out loud. He didn’t want his stupid basketcase brain to fuck this up for him, so he pushed forward, siding his arms around Klaus’ bare waist to hold him steady on his lap. Klaus wrapped his arms around Diego’s neck loosley and kissed him again, bypassing the coy, closed mouthed kisses and immediately slipping his tongue between Diego’s parted lips. 

He had no idea if he was doing it right, but Klaus definitely knew what he was doing so Diego let him lead. Klaus threaded a hand in the hair on the nape of his neck as he twirled his tongue in Diego’s mouth. He could feel his body reacting to the smouldering kisses, the touching and the weight of Klaus sitting on his lap. He let out an embarrassing, soft whine into Klaus’ mouth. It was too much, definitely too much, and Diego felt the panic starting to get a grip, but he tried ignoring it just a _little_ longer. This was too good to cut short. Klaus pulled back and looked into his eyes.

“You’re so fucking hot, Diego. Let me see you,” Klaus said, his voice husky as he reached for the hem of Diego’s shirt. 

Diego tried to let it happen. Klaus clamped his thighs tighter around Diego’s so he didn’t fall backward as he leaned back enough to lift the hem of the shirt with both hands. Diego lifted his arms, feeling his chest start to get tighter as the shirt swept over his arms and head. Just having Klaus’ eyes on his chest was making his heart pound, and then Klaus reached out and ran the fingertips of one hand down his chest and continued down his belly. That was it, the threshold of things he could handle had been met and his throat started to close up. He took a sharp, deep breath and grabbed Klaus’ hand, stopping him just before he rested it on Diego’s belt buckle. 

“I can’t,” he whined with a voice strangled by fear. Klaus looked at him with concern, and he might have spoken, but the blood rushing in Diego’s ears deafened him. He held one arm around Klaus’ waist and stood up, then turned and dropped Klaus on the bed indelicately. Without explaining himself he spun on his heel and fled for the bathroom. He was definitely about to puke, and it had nothing to do with the sushi.

As soon as he saw the toilet his body started to upchuck, so he hit his knees hard on the tile to make sure it landed in the bowl. He held both sides of the porcelain with shaking hands, his whole body quaking and stress tears stinging his eyes. It was really hard to puke when you couldn’t breathe, and he felt like he was certianly going to fucking _die_ before the vomiting stopped. As soon as it did, Diego fell to the right against the tub and held on to that while he tried to regain control of his breathing. It felt impossible, because all he could see in his mind were the images burned into his brain - the reason he was this fucked up person to begin with. 

Diego had no idea how long he’d leaned against the tub before Klaus peeked around the door that he never had a chance to close. Diego didn’t have the strength to tell him to leave, he just wiped the stupid, ugly tears off his face with his forearm and leaned forward enough to spit into the toilet. Klaus looked like he’d accidentally killed a kitten as he got on his own knees just past the door frame. He didn’t come any closer, just watched the tail end of Diego’s panic attack with his face etched in guilt and fear from three feet away. 

“I’m so fucking sorry,” he whispered, but Diego couldn’t look at him. 

“It’s not your fault,” he managed to say, his voice raw from bile and strain.

“Still, I should have asked- I should have-”

“No, Klaus, don’t. I’m just fucked up, okay? It’s not about you,” Diego said, sighing and leaning so his back was against the tub now and he was facing Klaus. Looking at his face made Diego feel both worse and somehow better at the same time. 

“A-are you sure nothing happened to you in prison? Because I’ve been with plenty of virgins and it’s never been-”

“Fuck, no, _stop._ It’s not... it’s not what happened to _me_ , okay? It’s… it’s what happened to everyone else,” Diego said, pinching the bridge of his nose and squeezing his eyes shut. He didn’t ever want to have this fucking converstation with another living soul, but he’d let Klaus in this far already. And at this point Diego couldn’t hide that he was mentally fucking scarred forever about sex in general. 

“What do you mean ‘everyone else?’” Klaus said, furrowing his brow.

“Do you know what happens to the real fucking sick-os that get sent to prison? The kid-fuckers and rapists?” Diego said cryptically, shaking his head and feeling like he needed to spit again.

“... you beat the shit out of them?”

“Yes. That’s step one in the dehumanization process. That was my job. Do you know what step two is?”

“....no,” Klaus said, but Diego knew he did. He just didn’t want to say it out loud. 

“They get raped too, Klaus,” Diego said, feeling his body starting to shake again. “When I was 17 and Cesar wanted to test my loyalty, he... he forced me to watch it. _Over_ and fucking _over,_ and I couldn’t react. I couldn’t cry or puke or scream, because that would be _weakness._ Sympathy for whoever they decided was the devil-of-the-day was _not_ allowed. And sure, the victims were fucking monsters that had already hurt other people in the same way but… but I could never wish that on anyone, even them. I would rather watch them be murdered than what actually happened to them, and it was carried out by men I was supposed to _trust._ ”

“Oh, Diego, I don’t even know what to say, I’m so fucking sorry,” Klaus said, tears falling freely down his cheeks. He wasn’t ashamed of his tears the way Diego was, and it was making Diego get choked up too, against his will. The last thing he wanted to do was keep talking, but finally having someone to share the horrible things he’d witnessed with made his mouth keep moving. For the first time ever he _wanted_ someone to know even just a taste of the horrible shit he’d been carrying around in his mind for all these years. 

“Not to mention my room was next to my parents’ and… and I had to hear _that_ shit, too. I know my mom didn’t want it either, but she was a traditionalist at heart. She thought she had to sleep with her abuser because that’s just how marriage worked,” Diego said, having to stop himself on that train of thought before he fucking puked again. “S-so I guess I completely shut down. I never wanted to touch myself or let anyone touch me ever again either. I don’t know how to turn off that response anytime anything even remotely sexual happens in my vicinity, let alone to me personally. I told you, I’m… I’m really fucked up, Klaus.”

“God, I completely understand. Those things would fuck up anyone with a shred of empathy,” Klaus said, wiping the tears from his cheeks with the knuckles of both hands. “But... it sounds like you at least understand the underlying issue, which is a good step toward healing from it, right?”

“What if I don’t?” Diego asked, meeting Klaus’ eyes with his for the first time. It was probably unfair of him to ask Klaus that right now, but he realized that too late. Diego watched his face as the reality of what that meant for whatever ‘future’ they might have together occurred to him. Klaus nodded slightly with a sympathetic smile. 

“Then you don’t, and that’s okay. You don’t ever have to force yourself to do something you don’t want to do, at least in that department,” Klaus said.

“Don’t you?” Diego asked, and it was an even more unfair question, but Diego couldn’t stop it from escaping. What better time than while Diego’s trauma was already laid bare, anyway? Klaus’ mouth fell open slightly, and he opened and shut it a few more times before answering. Diego could see it made him uncomfortable and he felt bad, but he still wanted to know. Klaus bit his lip and nodded.

“Yeah, I guess I do. But that doesn’t have to be true for you. I would _never_ put you in that position, Diego,” Klaus said. Then he leaned forward to crawl on his hands and knees a little closer. He stopped a few inches from Diego’s legs that were folded in front of him. “Listen, I never want you to feel unsafe with me, okay? I won’t touch you, I won’t kiss you or anything without you initiating it. I’m so sorry-”

“Stop apologizing. There was no way you could have known,” Diego said, shaking his head. He was just about sick of this conversation, but he knew it needed to be discussed before he could brush his teeth, go to bed and then pretend to still have an ounce of pride left in the morning. “Plus, I wa-… I _wanted_ you to kiss me like that. Please don’t stop trying. I’ll get it right one day.”

“Okay, if that’s what you want,” Klaus said quietly, lifting his hand to let it hover over Diego’s jean-covered knee. He wanted to comfort Diego physically because that was what Klaus was good at, the way he knew how to make people feel better, but he let his hand fall. Diego wanted to be able to accept it so fucking bad, and he wasn’t going to give up yet just because of one bad episode. He leaned forward and caught Klaus’ hand before it rested back at his side.

“Thank you for being understanding,” he said, giving Klaus a weak smile even though he didn’t really feel like smiling, and giving his hand a squeeze.

“No, thank _you_ for sharing so that I could. If you wigged out like that and wouldn’t tell me why that would have drove me crazy. But I know it’s not easy for you to share that kind of stuff, so... thank you for trusting me,” Klaus said. Diego just nodded, because he was still a little weirded out by just how comfortable and candid he could be with Klaus. But hearing it acknowledged made him feel uncomfortable again, which was dumb, but Diego’s brain was just fucking dumb sometimes.

Klaus let go of his hand and stood up, flushed the toilet, and then held his hand back out to help Diego up. 

“You wanna go watch like, cartoons or something chill until we fall asleep?” he asked. 

Diego took his hand and stood up on shaky legs. His stomach hurt, his head hurt, and honestly his heart was hurting, too. He would rather just go to sleep even though it was early, but he nodded anyway. He didn’t want to go right to sleep this early and leave Klaus to overthink all night, because he knew enough about Klaus at this point to know that’s exactly what he would do. 

After Diego washed the sick out of his mouth and changed into his pajamas, he walked back out to see Klaus on his own bed in his pajamas, lying on his stomach, feet on the pillows again with the remote in hand. Diego’s first instinct was to sit on his own bed, but he changed his mind. He still wanted to be close to Klaus in spite of everything, so he surprised Klaus by telling him to scoot over. He walked around to the side of the bed and laid down, mirroring Klaus’ position with their elbows touching. Klaus smiled at him and bumped their shoulders. 

“What do you wanna watch?” he asked, turning his attention to the television and changing it to the guide channel. 

“I have no idea. What’s good on TV these days?” Diego asked, because he genuinely had no fucking idea.

“Do you like cooking shows? There’s a Chopped marathon on Food Network, it looks like,” Klaus said.

“You know what, I _do_ like cooking shows. Don’t tell anyone,” Diego said with a smirk, which made Klaus giggle. 

“Don’t tell anyone what? That you’re a normal person who likes food?”

“Well I guess if you put it that way…” 

“I’m not sure what other way to look at it, unless you think cooking is like, inherently feminine and therefore embarrassing for a man to enjoy or something,” Klaus said, and Diego realized he was absolutely right and he felt stupid.

“Just turn the show on,” Diego said, frowning at the TV and filing that away for things to analyze later. Right now he just wanted to focus on anything but himself and his dumb issues.

“Okay, grumpy bear,” Klaus said, smirking and giggling when Diego frowned at him next. 

Diego couldn’t even hold his frown because the sparkle in Klaus’ eye and the smile on his lips was too damn cute. Diego leaned over into Klaus and left a soft, quick peck on his shoulder, then turned his attention back to the TV. 

Maybe he couldn’t be sexually active, but he still really liked being close to Klaus, and this kind of stuff felt perfect. Holding hands, the hug from earlier, the way he could feel Klaus’ body heat against him from elbow to ankle right now… he needed this kind of soft intimacy more than he could or would ever explain out loud. Klaus seemed to sense this, and after a little while into watching the show he reached over and ran his fingers lightly along the knuckles of Diego’s hand until he opened it. Klaus slipped his fingers in between Diego’s and everything felt right again, at least for now. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another update May 15th! Next chapter is a blasty blast, make sure you come back ;)


	6. The Tower: Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And now for something a little different - a perspective switch! Bet you weren't expecting to see a Klaus chapter, were you? ;)

_** September 2nd, 2015, 1:11am ** _

The storm had moved out hours ago, but the wind was still blowing hard enough to rattle the windows of the motel. Klaus noted that the noise was oddly haunting as he returned to bed in the dark after using the bathroom. He cocooned himself back up in his blankets and listened for Diego’s breathing over the wind, wondering if he was still asleep. Klaus could just barely see the steady rise and fall of his chest in the dim streaks of fluorescent street light coming in around the edges of the curtains. He had only been asleep for about three hours, but he had a weird feeling that was keeping him awake, and he kind of wished Diego was still up to distract him from it. 

It had been too long since Klaus had dosed but he didn’t want to dig around for it in his jeans. He couldn't remember where he'd dropped them, and he didn't want to start making a bunch of noise when Diego needed his sleep for their long drive later. He could wait a while longer, at least a couple more hours. When he saw the shadow of a person walking past the curtains outside, Klaus felt his anxiety spike needlessly. It was a public place, people were allowed to walk by their room. He was just being paranoid because the drugs were wearing off, _don’t be stupid, Klaus._

_**BANG!** _

The door flew open, Klaus immediately sat upright and froze at the sight of a dark figure in the door, the black silhouette of a gun in their hand against the bright street lights from outside. Diego shot up in bed only seconds later, but it was too late. The figure stepped forward and fired into the room, the sound of the shot dulled by a silencer. Klaus dove off the bed to the space between the mattress and the wall, then crawled on his hands and knees to the front of his bed. His heart was hammering erratically in his chest as he snagged his coat he’d dropped there earlier and dragged it to himself behind the bed. 

_“Did you think I wouldn’t find you, motherfucker?!”_ the person shouted, a woman’s voice. 

Another shot fired, and Klaus heard Diego scream. His hands shook violently as he dug in his coat pocket for the 9mm he had stashed in there. Without another thought he turned the safety off and stood up behind the bed, taking the woman by surprise. It was dark, but he was a fucking incredible shot, holding the gun in both hands as he aimed and squeezed the trigger. The shot split Klaus’ ears and he dropped the gun on the bed immediately after he fired it.

The woman fell to the floor, her gun thudding heavily on the carpet along with her. 

_“Diego!”_ Klaus shouted, scrambling around the bed and turning on the lamp between their headboards. The switch was slick under his fingers as he clicked it. _“Oh my fucking God, Diego!”_

There was _so much_ blood, a horrifying fan of it sprayed on the wood headboard and the wall behind it, including the bedside table and lamp. Diego writhed on the mattress, groaning and gasping for breath. Klaus’ brain was short circuiting, his heart exploding as he searched Diego’s body for the bullet wound, but it was too bloody. 

“Diego please say something! Where were you hit! Please look at me,” Klaus begged pathetically, dragging Diego’s arm back that he’d been shielding his face with. He saw the wound - the bullet had gone straight through Diego’s right bicep, both the entrance and exit wounds pouring more blood than Klaus had ever seen in his life. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, Diego! _Look at me,_ ” he cried, holding Diego’s wrist in one hand and cupping his blood-smeared cheek with the other. Diego’s face was screwed up in pain and he was hyperventilating. _“Look at me, damn it!!”_

“Ch-ch-chaCha, sh-she-” Diego stammered, but he finally opened his eyes enough to look at Klaus. “Where did-”

“Sit up, right now!” Klaus demanded, adrenalin thundering through his veins too hard for him to be delicate. Terrified tears streamed down his face as he grabbed Diego by the back of the neck and forced him to sit up. Diego groaned again and choked out a sob as he held a hand over his arm. “Listen, _listen!_ We need to get out of here! We have to go right now! _I just fucking killed her, Diego!_ ” 

More tears streaked down his face as he watched the blood flow down Diego’s arm even quicker than before. He needed a tourniquet right fucking now. Klaus reached behind Diego and grabbed a pillow, ripping the pillowcase off with a snap. Diego leaned over to look at ChaCha’s body on the floor while Klaus was spinning the pillowcase so it was tight and rope-like. 

“Holy fuck, K-klaus,” Diego said, weakly through whining pants. “I can’t be-believe you fucking _sh-shot her!_ Oh my god, I can see her _br-brain!”_

Klaus ignored him because he could just not fucking process that right now, so he focused on tying the pillowcase around Diego’s right arm instead. He pulled it as tight as he physically could manage, Diego screaming again as Klaus cinched it with all his strength. He tied it again to knot it and Diego fell against him. 

“No, I need you to walk! C’mon, the cops are going to be here any fucking minute!” Klaus cried, hoping his quaking body would be enough to hold Diego up. 

“You’re going to have to… have to drive,” Diego said weakly, trying to use his muscles to help Klaus get him out of bed but he was failing. Once he was finally standing it seemed to put his shock on pause for a moment and he was able to move without Klaus helping him. Klaus turned and grabbed the gun he’d dropped on the bed and shoved it in the pocket of Diego’s pajama pants. 

“Where are your keys?” Klaus asked, watching Diego stumble toward the dresser. He smeared blood over the wood dresser top as he caught himself with his wounded arm, and then grabbed his keys and wallet. Klaus slipped on his flip flops, snagged his jeans off the floor and ran to help Diego get to the door. 

“Hurts so f-fucking b-bad,” he whined, falling into Klaus the second he slung Diego’s unwounded arm over his shoulder.

“C’mon, stay with m-,” Klaus said, but his voice died in his throat as he glanced on the other side of Diego’s bed and saw ChaCha on the floor. Perfect headshot, her eyes open, a horrifying display of brain chunks and blood leaking out in a puddle on the floor. 

Klaus forced his body to move despite seizing in shock, hefting Diego along with him toward the car a few parking spaces from their room. Diego handed him the keys as soon as Klaus leaned him against the passenger’s side back door. It was a miracle that Klaus was able to get the key into the lock with the way he was shaking. As soon as he got the door open he helped Diego sit down, making sure he was in before slamming the door and scrambling around to the otherside. 

The second he sat in the driver’s seat the gravity of the situation swept over him and sobs racked his body. Once he shoved the key in the ignition, he looked up long enough to see Diego checking out his wound, blood still seeping out of it at an alarming rate despite the tourniquet. Klaus craned his body over the back of the seat and snatched a shirt out of his dirty clothes bag, the one with the palm trees. He sat back down and handed it to Diego.

“Put pressure on that right now,” he choked out, then tried to remember how to even make a fucking car go backward. As soon as he figured out the gear shift he slammed the car into reverse, backed up and then peeled off.

“Klaus, you’ve-you’ve got this, it’s go- _fuck,_ it’s going to b-be okay,” Diego said, holding the bunched up shirt over his wounds and slamming his head back against the car seat. 

“I don’t know how to fucking drive, Diego! I don’t know where we’re even supposed to fucking go!” Klaus cried frantically, barely able to see the road through his tears. 

“Anywhere, y-you can do this! Just follow the speed l-limit an-and don’t get pulled over,” Diego panted, his eyes rolling around in his head. “Need to get your sh-shit together and d-do this.”

“ _I can’t,_ ” Klaus whined, wiping one of his eyes on the back of his hand, but instead he smeared it with blood from Diego’s wound. He looked down at the blood on his shaking hands and sobbed harder.

“Y-you just saved my life, you can do fucking _any-anything,_ ” Diego stammered, looking ahead and then letting his wound go long enough to gesture out the dash window. “Keep driving st-straight on this road until you s-see a blu-blue sign for the interstate. F-follow that.”

“No, you need a hospital, Diego!” Klaus shouted, and Diego groaned.

“No hospital, just d-drive-”

“You’re going to fucking die! I’m finding a _hospital-_ ”

“Fucking _don’t,_ Klaus! If we go th-there we’ll both go to, _fuck,_ we’ll both go to pris- _prison!_ ” Diego said, his spike of anger making him slightly more coherent.

“Please, you’re bleeding so fucking much,” Klaus said, hardly paying attention to the road.

“Absolutely fucking not! Dude, I need y-you to suck it up and f-focus, alright? We can not stay in this c-city,” Diego said, but his voice was getting weak. “I believe in you, plea- _ugh,_ please just keep driving!”

“I can’t believe I just _killed_ someone, Diego,” Klaus whispered, his voice trembling so bad it was almost unintelligible.

“Welcome to the cl-club. It’s going to be alright as long as you don’t s-stop,” Diego said, and he slumped against the window against his injured arm, closing his eyes and panting. “I’m gonna… I think I’m going to p-pass out n-now, … just keep… driving.”

“Diego, no! You need to stay awake!” Klaus said, reaching over to shake his shoulder. “Diego!” 

But it was useless, Diego was down for the count and Klaus was absolutely losing his shit. If he wanted to help Diego, help _both_ of them, he needed to get a goddamn grip, though. As he stared at the dark, empty road in front of him he could feel his vision trying to tunnel, everything beyond the painted lines in the headlights was a blur. This was _so_ hard and terrifying that Klaus wanted to just stop the car and scream his fucking head off, but he tried taking deep breaths instead. Tears still streaked down his cheeks but it helped, just enough for him to find the sign for the interstate and take the west ramp. He’d never in his fucking life merged onto a freeway, but thankfully it was so late that traffic was sparse so it was mostly painless.

This wasn’t technically the only time he’d driven. When he’d been with Dave as a teenager he had taken Klaus on back roads a couple times, but that was nothing compared to what he was doing now, plus that was forever ago. He had driven just enough to understand how a vehicle worked and everything, but back then he wasn’t driving away from the scene of a horrible crime on a freeway in the middle of the fucking night. 

For a split second, thinking about Dave teaching him how to drive made him feel better, until a horrifying thought occurred to him. _He fucking left his coat in the room,_ with basically everything he owned in the world inside of it, including… Dave’s dog tags. The only thing he had left of the love of his life, and now it was _gone_. Sure to be locked in an evidence room for the rest of his life. A new wave of sobs wracked his body and he wanted to fucking _die._

As if that wasn’t already the worst thing ever, he realized what else he’d lost in his coat. His only picture of himself and Ben in a silver locket that he had added to the dog tag chain, all the remaining cash he’d had and… holy shit, all his fucking _drugs!_ His sadness flipped back around to panic the moment he realized. The fear that he was definitely going to be experiencing withdrawal in the next day or so was enough to send him in a tailspin, but he had to keep it together. He had to keep driving. He had to keep fucking going because he didn’t have a choice. 

He certainly couldn’t turn around, so no matter what he was going to run out of pills once his smaller baggy was empty. Nothing in the world scared him more, not even that he’d murdered someone. If they managed to escape this somehow, Klaus’ life was still shattered in a million pieces, even worse than it was from the first murder he’d witnessed this week. He couldn’t be alone with his thoughts anymore or he would for sure slip into a total fucking meltdown. 

_At least I still have him,_ Klaus thought as he looked over at Diego slumped against the window.

“ _Diego, wake up!_ ” Klaus commanded, shaking Diego harder than before with a panic-sweat slick palm. “Hey, I need to know you’re not dying! _Please!_ ”

“Ugghnn,” Diego groaned, already wincing before he was fully conscious again. Klaus couldn’t quite tell in the darkness but he seemed awfully pale. They were going to need to deal with this now. “So dizzy.”

“Because you’ve lost a bucket of blood! Has it slowed at all? How are you feeling?” Klaus asked, terrified to even look over. He saw Diego shift and move the shirt to look. 

“Yeah, I think it’s slowed a lot,” Diego said faintly, staring at his arm with a dazed expression. “My whole arm feels like it’s go-going to explode from this tourniquet, though.”

“Do _not_ take it off, it’s probably keeping you alive. We need to clean the wound soon or you’re going to get a fucking nasty infection,” Klaus said. “That gin bottle should still be in here, unless we can find a drug store at an exit.”

“We can’t stop, Klaus,” Diego said on a labored exhale, his eyes still fluttering. “But I already have rubbing alcohol in the t-trunk. I got it at Walmart that first day. We’ll just clean it w-when we can stop.”

“No! It has to be now, not hours from now!” Klaus argued, trying to keep his eyes peeled for anywhere they could safely stop. “You don’t want it to clot with bullet shrapnel and shit in it!”

“It doesn’t even hurt that bad anymore,” Diego said, but Klaus could hardly believe that. “It just feels like hot pr-pressure from the tourniquet down to my fingers.”

“The first exit I find I’m stopping,” Klaus said definitively. Diego either didn’t hear him or didn’t have the energy to argue.

“Hey… you’re driving, and you haven’t killed us yet. I’m proud of you,” Diego said, giving Klaus’ elbow a bloody pat with his left hand. Normally Klaus would be delighted to hear Diego praise him for anything at all, but he was not in the mood.

“How did she find us, Diego?” he asked, feeling fresh tears welling up but he fought them.

“I don’t know. It had to be the credit card or something,” Diego said, keeping his eyes closed. “She m-must have got a hold of Mario and got it out of him. Fuck, I hope he’s not dead.”

“Who is Mario?”

“A counterfeiter. He got the card for me, and the fake ID that matches it. He’s an amateur but I didn’t think he would ever rat me out. She must have hurt him b-bad,” Diego said, his breathing still labored from talking so much at once. “I don’t know how she would kn-know where it was used, though. Can people track that?”

“I have no fucking idea. Maybe she just called the motel and asked if there was anyone there by the name of your ID alias?” Klaus said, but his mind was slowly drifting away from the conversation as he was still more preoccupied with the threat of imminent withdrawal. He wanted to talk about it, but Diego didn’t need to hear his pathetic addict problems right now. 

“That’s illegal, the front desk people can’t give out that kind of information,” Diego said, wincing and holding his wounded arm out to flex his fingers and fist. Klaus was at least happy to see that he could move everything, hopefully that meant the bullet didn't hit anything but muscle.

“But if she’s as cunning and ruthless as you claim, maybe she tricked them into telling her somehow,” Klaus said, but he was suddenly distracted by an exit sign with a gas station listed as the only ‘attraction.’ “Oh shit, we’re stopping at that gas station. I hope one of us has something clean in the back seat because I have too much blood on me to go in and pay for gas. We need it or I wouldn’t go in.”

“I’m fine, do not stop,” Diego said, trying to sound commanding but he just sounded weak. Klaus ignored him. 

Other than almost blowing through a red light, Klaus made it to the gas station without incident. He’d scoped it out slowly before pulling in, making sure there was nobody there but an attendant. He parked as far to the side of the building as he could to avoid the attendant looking out and seeing what he was about to do.

“We’re going to have to saturate this car in alcohol, and we can’t let the blood get on the cement,” he said, looking over his shoulder nervously to make sure the coast was still clear.

“If you pour alcohol on it now it’s going to dissolve the clots and I’ll bleed again,” Diego said, but he had no fight in him.

“No it won’t, at least not that bad. Just sit tight,” Klaus said, opening the car door and getting out. 

He assessed his clothes in the bright carport lights - he was still in his stupid fucking purple pajama shorts and grey tanktop, and both had blood streaked down the front and side where he had helped Diego walk to the car. He also had blood all over his hands and some on his face, too. He had no idea how he was going to go into the gas station, but he would worry about that later. Right now he had to get Diego’s wound clean. 

Klaus lifted the trunk and found Diego’s second duffle bag, his only one now, since the other got left in the room. He unzipped it and found all the clean laundry from the laundromat folded neatly inside. He didn’t remember Diego taking the time to fold it all, and Klaus wanted to appreciate it, but he would have to later. He moved the clothes to the side and found a Walmart plastic bag wrapped up around a bottle of rubbing alcohol, a roll of gauze and medical tape. Fucking perfect. He noticed a black leather belt in the duffle bag and grabbed that, too.

After walking around the car and shifting all the stuff to one arm, Klaus opened the passenger’s side door and gasped in horror. It looked like someone had poured a pitcher of blood all down the grey plastic of the interior door, on the side of the seat and even the carpet next to it. He held a hand over his mouth and Diego looked up at him with heavy eyes. A few blood droplets dripped from the bottom of the door on the pavement and Klaus had to force himself into action before it made an even bigger mess. He set all the medical supplies and the belt on Diego’s lap and quickly whipped off his own tank top, crouching to wipe the bottom of the door upward to stop the dripping. He would have to worry about the little bit on the ground later. 

“Alright, I need you to face the driver’s side door and hold your arm out over the footwell,” he told Diego, who thankfully had stopped giving Klaus a hard time. He did as he was told, holding the stuff in his lap with one hand as he shifted on the seat to face away from Klaus. “I’m so sorry, this is going to hurt so bad.”

“Just do it,” Diego said, handing Klaus the bottle of alcohol over his shoulder. Klaus uncapped it and poured some over his own hands, hoping it would clean them enough to not add any bacteria to the situation. He noticed that all his bracelets were also covered in blood, so he slipped those off both wrists and tossed them on the dash.

“Bite down on that belt, it will help,” Klaus said, and to his surprise Diego complied. He doubled up the belt with one hand and bit down. “Don’t scream, okay?”

Klaus examined Diego’s entry and exit wounds. The exit wound was so fucking grusome he wanted to puke, with bits of sickening, shredded flesh around the hole. He had talked about this with Dave too, how to tend a bullet wound, but he never in his life expected to have to _use_ that knowledge. After a few steadying breaths Klaus turned Diego’s arm so he could pour a light stream of the alcohol over the entry wound first. Diego’s strangled scream of pain around the belt made Klaus’ eyes tear up again but he kept going, holding Diego’s wrist tightly with his other hand so he couldn’t yank it away. Diego panted, a whimper on each exhale. 

“Shhhhh, I’m so sorry, honey,” Klaus said softly, his voice shaking. “Just hold on, only a little bit more.”

When he turned Diego’s arm back to look at the exit wound, fresh, diluted blood seeped out of it slowly and dripped on the car floor. Klaus was at least happy to see that the alcohol made it all the way through the wound. Diego’s whole arm was discolored from the tourniquet cutting off his blood flow, but they definitely couldn’t take it off yet. 

“Okay, deep breath. Only one more time, but this one might be bad,” Klaus warned. 

It was a more awkward angle, but he managed to pour another stream of alcohol over the shredded exit wound. Diego screamed and flinched so violently that Klaus lost his grip on his wrist. Diego spit the belt out of his mouth and gasped for air, groaning loudly between each breath. 

“Diego, you have to be quiet, please, oh my god,” Klaus said, looking around to see if anyone else had pulled into the parking lot. “I’m so sorry, I’m not trying to hurt you.”

“That hurt worse than the fucking bullet,” Diego said through clenched teeth, breathing harshly through his nose.

“I’m sorryyyy,” Klaus said again, even though it certainly wasn’t his fault that it hurt. “Listen, I’m going to pour a little more over the rest of your arm to get some of this blood off, but I won’t pour any more in the wound, okay?” 

Diego groaned again and nodded, tentatively holding his arm back out. Klaus set the bottle on the ground and grabbed his bloody grey tank top from the dash where he’d thrown it after cleaning the door. He turned it inside out and found a clean spot, then picked up the bottle to pour again. He mostly missed the wound, washing away a lot of the blood onto the floor and then wiping the rest with the shirt. 

“Wait, shouldn’t we like, s-sew it sh-shut or something?” Diego said, still panting and sounding like he might faint again. 

“No, you don’t typically stitch a bullet wound shut because the risk of infection is too high,” Klaus said, capping the almost empty bottle of alcohol and throwing the dirty shirt back down in the footwell.

“Why?” Diego asked, handing Klaus the tape and gauze when he held his hand out. 

“Because a blast wound is different than like, a deep knife slice or something. All that shredded skin won’t seal shut cleanly and would be a crazy breeding ground for infection,” Klaus explained as he unwound a long strip of the gauze roll. “Plus all the skin around it is traumatized too, so it wouldn’t hold stitches without tearing. You just have to get the bleeding to stop and… hope for the best. Unless you’re in a hospital with trained professionals.”

“Who the hell are you?” Diego asked weakly, trying to turn in the seat to face forward again with some difficulty. His face was so pale that Klaus’ heart skipped a beat. 

“What do you mean?” Klaus asked, then ripped the gauze with his teeth. 

“H-how do you kn-know like, everything? You’re so amazing,” Diego said, and Klaus figured he had to be fucking delirious at this point.

“Just save your energy, we can talk about it later. I’m trying to make sure you don’t die,” Klaus said dismissively, grabbing Diego’s wrist and holding his arm out again. 

“I can’t die yet, I just found you,” Diego whispered, letting his eyes fall shut as Klaus started to wrap the gauze strip around his arm. Klaus froze and stared at Diego.

“W-what?” he asked, certain he couldn’t have heard that correctly. 

Diego didn’t repeat himself though, just kept his eyes shut and let out a low moan. Klaus felt a few more tears leak down his cheeks as he finished wrapping the gauze around Diego’s arm and held it in place with the medical tape. As much as he wanted to sit and contemplate what Diego meant by that, Klaus had other shit to do in a big hurry.

After he buckled Diego’s seatbelt for him, Klaus shut the front passenger’s side door and opened the back one. He opened the styrofoam cooler and grabbed a bottle of water to clean himself off with, and another one for Diego to drink. He shut that door and moved back to the trunk he’d left open, digging in Diego’s bag again for clean clothes. Basically all of Klaus’ other clothes he’d gotten from the thrift store had been left back in the motel, too. But he found his tye-dye shirt and his leather pants, and a pair of Diego’s clean socks, and that would have to do. 

Once he set the water bottles down on the closed trunk he put the shirt on, then dropped his shorts and quickly stepped into his pants. If anyone was watching they would have seen his ass, but that was the least of his worries at the moment. Diego’s socks were a good makeshift washcloth, so he soaked one in water from one of the bottles and wiped his face, arms and hands as best he could. Then he walked back over to Diego’s door and poured the rest of that water bottle over the blood droplets on the cement. It diluted the blood enough that nobody would notice it, hopefully. 

Klaus walked back around to the driver’s side and got in, then handed Diego the other water bottle. 

“Drink this,” he said, and Diego opened his droopy eyes and stared at the water in his hand like it was a foreign object.

“Ah, how the turn tables,” he said, chuckling to himself and Klaus wondered if he’d finally snapped.

“What?” Klaus asked, hoping he would get an answer this time.

“Nothing, it’s just funny that you’re the one telling me to drink water now,” Diego said, holding the water back out to Klaus. “Cap?”

“Oh shit, right, sorry,” Klaus said as he unscrewed the cap for him, but he was in no mood to laugh at the irony. “Where is your wallet, I need some cash for gas.”

“Here,” Diego said, tapping his pajama pocket with the bottom of the water bottle. It made a noise that was definitely _not_ a wallet, and his eyes got wide as he realized what it was.”Oh my god, I forgot. Where the fuck did you get a _gun_ , anyway?”

“It’s a long story, I’ll tell you when I get back. Drink your water. You need to stay hydrated, you just lost a fuckton of blood,” Klaus said. 

He figured Diego’s wallet was somewhere on the seat instead, and after rifling around through the clutter they had accumulated the last couple days, he located it. He also found his pack of smokes and his jeans all balled up. It was probably a bad idea, but Klaus dug in his jeans pocket for his little baggie of pills and poured two in his hand. He had eight left after these two were gone, and then he was facing his worst fucking fear. He popped them anyway, because he was already way past his usual dosage schedule and it was only making all of this harder. Diego didn’t seem to notice as he was focused on taking a sip of water.

Once Klaus made sure Diego was able to drink without spilling all over himself, he put the car in reverse so he could park next to a pump. That proved to be one of the harder aspects about driving so far, which was dumb. He realized that somehow the ass end of the car was like four whole feet away from the pump, and he hoped the nozzle would still reach.

The anxiety Klaus felt while he was walking up to the station door was enough to make him scream, but he managed to keep it inside. The attendant was clearly not interested in him in the slightest, even though Klaus’ paranoia had him feeling otherwise. The guy was kicked back in a rolly chair behind the counter and watching a black and white movie on an ancient TV. There was even tin foil crumpled on the ends of the rabbit ears antenna, and any other time it would have made Klaus feel pleasantly nostalgic. He walked back to the cooler and grabbed an orange juice, then picked out a package of crackers and walked up to the register. The attendant sighed and stood up in a huff, as if he couldn’t believe someone would interrupt him at work.

“Will that be all?” he said with a bored tone, punching in the prices on the register.

“And um, $30 on pump two, please,” Klaus said, realizing his voice was still shaking even if he was keeping it together otherwise.

“$32.93, do you need a bag?” the attendant asked. Klaus shook his head.

Then he noticed that the guy wasn’t even looking him in the face, which was a huge fucking relief. At least if the cops trailed them here somehow, this asshole wasn’t going to remember whether he’d seen them or not if he were to be questioned about it. Klaus handed the attendant $35 from Diego’s wallet, and then stuffed the change in the billfold. At a glance, he guessed Diego had a little less than $250 in cash left, and it was nowhere near enough for them to make it to wherever they were supposed to go next. They were basically fucked no matter where they ran. The jig would inevitably be up within a day or two and Klaus didn’t know what to do about it, other than just… keep going. 

When he got back in the car Diego had pulled the map down from the visor and was staring at it with a glazed-over expression. Klaus opened the package of peanut butter sandwich crackers.

“Here, you need to eat these. It will help,” he said, holding his hand out with a few crackers in it. “This is what they always gave me after I donated plasma.”

“I’m definitely not hungry, Klaus,” Diego said, his exhaustion evident in his voice.

“It doesn’t matter. Your body is going to need help replacing all your blood and you need the protein and shit. Eat the fucking crackers, drink the juice,” Klaus said sharply. They didn’t have time for Diego to be difficult.

“Okay, damn,” Diego said, taking the crackers from Klaus’ hand and setting them on his thigh.

“Where am I going? We need to get the fuck out of here,” Klaus asked, starting the ignition. Once this was over he was never driving again as long as he lived. 

“Okay, so just head back toward I-90 and I’ll have to guide you street by street from there because the switch from I-90 to US-191 has a few turns,” Diego said, but his eyes were still drooping and he looked paler than ever.

Klaus wasn’t sure he trusted Diego’s judgement at the moment, but he didn’t exactly have a choice. He didn’t know where he was going or what the fuck he was doing, so all he had was Diego’s blood deprived and shock-addled brain to rely on. Everything about the situation was pushing Klaus beyond every limit he had, and he was so terrified that he was going to fuck up spectacularly somehow. He was going to get in a wreck, he was going to get pulled over, he was going to get lost or he was just going to have a straight up nervous breakdown. Nevertheless, he put the car in gear and headed toward the interstate.

It only ended up taking them 20 minutes or less to find US-191 and start heading south instead of west, surprisingly with no incident. Klaus still had no idea where the fuck they were even going, since he’d been afraid to press Diego for any further details about his phone call with Luther. The only halfway decent thing about their escape so far was that Klaus was starting to get a fraction more comfortable behind the wheel. This was one of the hardest things he’d ever faced in his life and he was _handling it._ For now, anyway.

“So, are you going to tell me where you got a fucking gun, Klaus?” Diego asked, now that they were on a long stretch of road between directions. Klaus sighed and wished he could hold this conversation off for longer.

“I swiped it off a guy that passed out in a motel room with me, last year,” Klaus admitted, feeling Diego’s eyes on the side of his face. “It wasn’t loaded, and I’ve never really had the extra funds for ammo. So I mostly just kept it on me as a scare tactic if someone fucked with me or tried to leave without paying up.”

“Well you sure as hell had it loaded tonight. Where did you even buy bullets?” Diego asked, then finished the last swallow of orange juice from the bottle.

“Walmart, while you waited for me in the car. That’s what took me so long,” Klaus said with a sigh. The only emotion he was able to feel anymore was exhaustion, he couldn’t even bring himself to be worried what Diego would think about him being armed the whole time they were traveling together. He was just too burned out, he had no light left to give. 

“They sell bullets at fucking _Walmart_?” Diego asked, giving Klaus an almost comical expression of shock and confusion. 

“They sure do, and guns, too,” Klaus said, smiling weakly for a second and then frowning again. “I never expected to have to use it, though.”

“I mean, I’m a little mad that you didn’t tell me you had a stolen loaded weapon on you, but if you didn’t I would be dead. So... I’m not sorry you used it,” Diego said, letting his head fall back on the headrest.

“I never wanted to be a killer, Diego,” Klaus said, his throat getting tight just by saying it out loud. He wasn’t sure he had any tears left to cry, though.

“Neither did I, but like you said, motive matters. You _saved_ me, Klaus. You shot a _killer,_ not an innocent person,” Diego said, picking his head up and staring at Klaus again since he had something serious to impress upon him. “Do you even know how many people ChaCha has murdered? She has been working for Julio for over a decade and she is like, the main reason he still has any power. Nobody fucks with his men because they know her evil ass will find them. If I had the gun, I would have shot her myself. You did a _good_ thing.”

“It doesn’t feel like it,” Klaus said quietly. Somehow his eyes manufactured a few more tears even though he felt empty. 

He noticed Diego hold his hand out on the seat next to his thigh, waiting for him to take it. For the first time since they met, Klaus didn’t feel like it. He didn’t want Diego to take it as rejection though, because it wasn’t like that. He still had all the same feelings for him, it was just hard to accept comfort that he didn’t think he deserved at the moment. Yes, he’d saved Diego by shooting ChaCha, but he was still feeling more guilty and scared than he ever had in his life, except for maybe the last day that he’d seen Ben. 

“Hey,” Diego said, like he thought Klaus wasn’t moving because he didn’t notice. It forced him to release the steering wheel he’d been white-knuckling since they left the gas station. He took Diego’s hand and tried to let himself be even a tiny bit as excited about it as he had been yesterday. Diego must have felt him shaking, and he held on tighter. “Klaus, it’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t know about that. We’re broke, we’re wanted for two separate murders now, and I still don’t know if you’re going to bleed to death or not,” Klaus said. “And… I left my coat in the room.”

“I’m not going to bleed to death. There’s like hardly anything seeping through the wrapping. You did a great job, and you still are,” Diego said, and while Klaus was pleased to hear that, Diego still missed the significance of the last part.

“Thanks,” Klaus said tonelessly. He was only doing great for now. By this time tomorrow he was going to be an even bigger fucking trainwreck than ever, though, and he didn’t know how to prepare Diego for it. Assuming they didn’t get caught fleeing the state, anyway.

“Fuck, I think we need to take this off. My entire arm feels like it’s going to fall right off,” Diego said, flexing the fingers of his wounded arm with more difficulty than before.

“Stop moving your muscles, you’ll make it start bleeding again. How long has it been, anyway?” Klaus asked, even though Diego probably had no idea. He remembered that he’d woken up at 1am and it was 2:30 now. “Shit, you’re probably right. If you keep it on much longer you’re probably going to have nerve damage.”

“Awesome,” Diego said sarcastically, and Klaus felt him hold his hand tighter. 

“When the tourniquet comes off it’s going to hurt like a mad bastard as the blood flows back through your whole arm. Like think of the pins and needles of when your arm falls asleep, and then multiply it by 100,” Klaus explained, because Diego deserved a warning. 

“Can’t wait!” Diego said just as sarcastically, letting go of Klaus’ hand and moving to unknot the pillowcase. Klaus appreciated that Diego was keeping an uncharacteristic sense of humor about the whole thing, but he was still worried about how much more pain he was about to be in. 

“When you do release it you need to stay fucking _still,_ okay? No flailing, no squirming around, you have to keep it _completely_ still no matter how bad it hurts,” Klaus warned, wishing he could stop the car to help. 

“I can’t get this knot open, anyway. What are you, Superman?” Diego said, struggling with the knot and making frustrated noises.

“Hold the wheel,” Klaus said, and Diego looked at him like he was crazy. “I said just hold the wheel for like three seconds. And move your leg over.”

Diego did as he was told despite his confusion, holding the wheel as Klaus kept his foot on the gas and ducked under Diego’s arm. He reached under the passenger’s seat and grabbed Craig’s knife he stashed there, then quickly sat back up and took the wheel back from Diego.

“Here,” he said, handing the knife over. “Cut it, but remember what I said about not moving.”

“ _Yes, mom,_ I got it,” Diego said, and Klaus scowled at him. 

Normally he would be amused and banter right back, but he was too emotionally wiped to find literally anything funny at the moment. It’s okay, Diego would understand how serious it was in a few moments. The pillowcase needed to be sawed at with the knife before it finally snapped apart, and before Diego even finished he started hissing in pain.

“ _Jesus fucking Christ,_ ” he hissed, dropping the knife on the seat next to him and slamming his head back against the head rest.

“I know, just breathe and stay still,” Klaus said soothingly. “I know it hurts. It will be over in a minute.”

Diego moaned, screwing up his face and breathing in and out like he was in labor. He brought his left fist to his face and bit his own knuckles, the other arm lying on the door armrest as still as he could possibly be. Klaus could practically feel the pain right along with him and it made him want to cry again. 

“Did it start bleeding through the bandage?” Klaus asked once Diego’s breathing started to regulate. He thought he saw Diego wipe a tear with the back of his hand before he checked. Klaus clicked on the dome light in the car ceiling for Diego to see better. 

“Yeah, just a little, though,” Diego said, examining the wound. He took another deep breath and dropped his head back again. “I think I’m going to pass out again.”

“No! Don’t leave me alone, I have no idea where I’m even going!” Klaus said, but Diego’s eyes were already closing. 

“Just drive until we get to Idaho... and stop at a motel that takes cash with no ID,” Diego said, and Klaus was going to punch him in his good arm if he really passed out right now. 

“But the sign says we’re entering Wyoming! Where the hell even is Wyoming in relation to Idaho? Fuck, I wish I would have paid attention in Geography,” Klaus said, starting to panic again. 

“It’s only for a few miles and then this highway takes you back into Idaho, just don’t stop until you see a road sign for Idaho Falls and take an exit a few towns before that. You got this,” Diego said, sounding coherent despite keeping his eyes closed. Klaus hoped he just needed to rest and he wouldn’t actually be unconscious again. 

Diego was quiet for a long time, and Klaus wasn’t sure if he was sleeping or not, so he just chain smoked cigarettes and kept quiet, too. He did as he was told, following signs for Idaho, and then to Idaho Falls. By the time he decided they were close enough he saw an exit for Rigby, Idaho. It was another smaller town, but after stopping at another gas station for directions, he managed to find a motel attached to a truck stop. He had to do some sweet talking to the front desk girl to get her to let him have a room without any identification, and by the time he returned to the car Diego was awake again.

“Hey, how are you feeling?” he asked. 

“I feel like I got shot,” Diego said, and it was such an on the nose answer that it made Klaus laugh, which he didn’t even think was possible.

“You’re cute, but I mean are you feeling light headed? Nauseated? Gangrenous?”

“Light headed, yes. A burning ache, yes, but no gangrene yet. I think I’ll be alright, let’s just get inside,” Diego said, trying to flex the fingers on his wounded arm again. He hissed and whined. “This sucks so fucking bad. I’m going to be shot again when Luther finds out, too.”

“Luther can get fucked. You couldn’t have prevented this, we were careful. It’s not your fault ChaCha is freakin’ psychopath,” Klaus said, trying like hell to park in a parking space properly. Why was parking harder than actually driving? Surely it looked like a drunkard parked the car, but Klaus couldn’t be bothered to give a shit. 

“You think that matters to him? It hasn’t so far,” Diego said, reaching across himself with his good arm to open the door. 

“Stop, wait until I can help you,” Klaus said, turning the car off and getting out quickly. He rushed over to the passenger’s side but Diego brushed off his help.

“I’m fine, just get the room door open,” Diego said, flinching miserably as he tried to move without jostling his arm. He wasn’t even wearing shoes, so he had to walk across the parking lot with just socked feet. It killed Klaus to not help him, but Diego was adamant about doing it for himself. 

Klaus got the room door open and let Diego walk in first, then followed him in. As soon as Diego saw the bed he dropped down on it heavily and held a hand over his bandage, as if the 100 foot journey from the car to the room had taken every ounce of energy he had. Klaus found a light switch and flipped it on. The motel only had a king bedroom available, but it also had an ugly couch that Klaus was fine with sleeping on. It had a ‘cabin-in-the-woods’, redneck kind of theme; everything in stained wood with brown and green tones. The carpet was a hideous shade of chocolate brown and all the wall art was of deer, fish and trees. Klaus hated it, but he had more important things to worry about.

“Alright, let me see,” Klaus said, taking Diego’s hand off his bandage so he could look. 

The part of the gauze over the wound was saturated in blood, a few streaks of dried blood caked to Diego’s arm underneath. His tank top and sweatpants were destroyed, and there were. still dried blood speckles on his neck and face from the initial shot. There didn’t seem to be any fresh blood though, so the wound must have clotted well. 

“Give me that gun so I can hide it,” Klaus said, holding out his hand. Diego reached in his left pajama pocket and retrieved the gun. Just as he was about to hand it over he noticed Klaus’ wrist. He set the gun on the bed instead and grabbed Klaus’ hand. 

“What is this?” he asked with a furrowed brow, looking much more alert now than moments ago. 

Klaus tried to yank his hand away but Diego had a tight grip. He regretted taking his stupid bracelets off, because now his fucking ugly scars were exposed. He sighed heavily and stared at the ceiling, willing his eyes to not start tearing up. He did _not_ need this conversation to happen, not right now. 

“You _know_ what it is, and I don’t feel like talking about it, alright? You need to lay down,” Klaus said, still trying to wrestle his hand free. Diego frowned harder and ran his thumb over the raised pink scar that started from the heel of Klaus’ hand up his wrist about three inches. The other wrist matched, but it was shorter, since he’d been interrupted in the moment. 

“How old were you?” Diego asked, giving him such a sympathetic, sad look that Klaus wanted to absolutely die again. He knew the tears were coming, so he stopped fighting them. Everything was so ridiculously overwhelming already, this was just the shitty icing on the cake at this point. 

“Does it matter? Please let go,” Klaus snapped, using his other hand to pry Diego’s fingers off him. 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Diego asked, watching Klaus take the gun and hide it in the bedside drawer, next to the Holy Bible of all things. Klaus snapped the drawer shut and bit his lip. 

“Because it’s ancient history and I don’t like thinking about it, so just drop it, please,” Klaus said, running a hand through his hair. “You need to sleep.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Diego said, and Klaus could see the pinched expression of pain on his face.

“Here, take this,” Klaus said, digging his little baggie out of his pants and picking out one of the pills. Diego was already frowning and Klaus knew he would fight it.

“No way, I don’t need that shit. I’ll be fine,” he said adamantly, but he’d started clutching his arm again. Klaus knew the pain was only going to get worse. 

“Listen, I don’t want to give you this either, trust me. But right now you need it more than I do,” Klaus said, still holding the pill out in his hand. “You have to sleep, and you won’t be able to once that wound starts to really throb. This is exactly what they would give you if they treated you at the hospital.”

“I can handle it without drugs. I said no,” Diego said, shaking his head. 

“Please take it. It will help you sleep, and you need to sleep to heal. Plus, it’s not like you’re going to be able to get addicted or anything because this is all I have left,” Klaus said, shaking the baggie with seven pills left in it. Diego looked up at him and gave him a different kind of frown. Klaus briefly wondered how he’d come to be able to tell the difference between Diego’s frowns already. 

“Oh… that’s what you meant by leaving your coat,” Diego said, letting his arm go to cover his mouth for a moment while he realized what the ramifications were. “Shit, I’m so sorry, Klaus. I mean, sort of. I don’t want you addicted to that shit but I also don’t want you to suffer, either.”

“I will suffer a lot less if you’re well enough to help me when… when I run out. So take this and get some good rest, okay?” Klaus said, and he could hear his own voice starting to tremble from desperation and exhaustion. “I’ve got us this far, just… can you please trust me that this will help?”

Diego stared at the pill in Klaus’ hand, and then at his face, and then back at the pill. He sighed and held his own hand out. Klaus tipped it into his palm and immediately went to find a cup to get Diego a drink. By the time he returned Diego had already swallowed it, but he accepted the plastic cup of sink water anyway. Klaus had also wet a washcloth for Diego to wipe his face, neck and arm a little better. 

“So, one bed, huh?” Diego said. Klaus paused in the middle of turning the sheets and blanket down at the top of the bed for Diego to get in. Diego looked at him over his shoulder, and Klaus was surprised to see him smirking. He wanted to smirk back but his whole body and soul were too tired to feel anything at all. He had never felt more burned out in his life, and that was a seriously tall order to beat. 

“It was either this or both of us spooning in the back seat of the car,” Klaus said, fluffing a pillow. 

“Good thing I like you, then,” Diego said, and that was enough of a pick-me-up to hear that Klaus did smile then.

“Good thing,” Klaus said, coming back around the bed to take the wet washcloth from him. Normally he would be all over that, brain flooded with a million flirty things to say, but that part of him was buried under ten tons of grief. 

Diego looked like he wanted to say something else too, but he let Klaus walk away to drop the washcloth in the bathroom sink. When he returned Diego had managed to get himself under the sheets on the side of the bed closest to the wall. He hadn’t laid down yet though, and Klaus could tell by his face that he was still struggling with the pain. Klaus didn’t know how to help without Diego getting defensive about it. He liked to do things himself, even when he really didn’t need to. It was admirable, but also frustrating because he clearly needed the assistance. Instead Klaus went to the other side of the bed and sat down cross-legged, waiting for Diego to get comfortable before he left the room. He couldn’t sleep yet, he still had too many things to do.

“I hate this,” Diego grumped, finally lying down on his back with some difficulty. “I’m not even tired and I’m too paranoid to close my eyes, anyway.”

“I get it, but we’re okay for now. ChaCha is dead, Julio won’t even know she’s dead for a while, and the cops have no idea where we are. You can relax,” Klaus said, resting his cheek on his palm, elbow resting on his knee. Everything was so fucked up though, he couldn’t really blame Diego for being too anxious to sleep. He felt the exact same, despite feeling simultaneously brain dead from the exhaustion.

“I can’t believe she’s dead,” Diego said, staring at the ceiling while Klaus stared at him. 

“I don’t even want to think about it,” Klaus said quietly.

“Right, sorry,” Diego said, sighing to himself.

Klaus wasn’t used to having nothing to say, but he was too busy reliving the memory of watching ChaCha fall to the floor after he shot her and then seeing her dead body on the floor afterwards. Diego must have been doing the same because he kept quiet, too. Klaus hated the dead silence between them. He could tell that Diego was still not saying things he wanted to say, and normally Klaus would be dying to hear whatever it was. Right now he just needed Diego to go to sleep, though. They could share feelings and shit after Diego woke up later.

“Fuck, I think that pill is kicking in,” Diego said, using his left hand to rub his eyes.

“Good, don’t fight it,” Klaus said, reaching out to rest his hand over Diego’s on top of the blanket. It was the wounded arm, so he was careful, but Diego turned his hand over and laced their fingers together, anyway.

“Why aren’t you lying down?” Diego asked, like it just occurred to him that Klaus wasn’t getting ready for bed, too.

“I have to go clean the blood out of the car or someone will notice and call the police. It very much looks like a crime scene in there,” Klaus said, running his thumb over Diego’s soothingly. Diego’s eyes closed but he was still frowning.

“I’m so sorry I dragged you into this fucking disaster,” he said softly, swallowing hard. It pulled at Klaus’ very tired heartstrings, and he wished he could hug Diego without hurting him. He did the next best thing, untangling their fingers and lying next to him carefully. He laid his hand on Diego’s chest and leaned as close as he could without bumping his wound, head resting on his own arm.

“Diego, I want to be here with you,” he whispered, and Diego reached up with his good arm to lay his hand over Klaus’ on his chest. 

“But I’ve ruined your life,” he said, just as quietly. 

“Nah, I ruined my own life long before I met you, no sweat,” Klaus said. He leaned close enough to give Diego’s shoulder a quick, soft peck.

Klaus wasn’t sure when Diego got so comfortable with him, but he treasured it even in the face of all the horror of the last few hours. It shocked him even further when Diego started to roll over away from him, but held onto his hand so Klaus was essentially spooning him. It was so sweet that for a moment Klaus felt lighter, and he snuggled up to Diego’s back. Within a matter of minutes he heard Diego’s breathing get heavier as he finally let the medicine take over. 

He wished more than anything that this was under different circumstances. He wished he could just snuggle up and fall asleep this way, holding Diego against him to keep him safe. But he couldn’t do that, because he still had things to do, and this was just making those things harder. Once he felt Diego’s hand over his own go slack with sleep, he started to pull away. He heard Diego stir slightly as he pushed himself up into a sitting position.

“Please don’t leave me,” Diego breathed against his pillow, almost too quiet to hear. Klaus’ heart broke into a million pieces, even though it was probably just the drugs making Diego this sentimental.

“I’ll only be gone a few minutes,” he lied, swallowing his tears and leaning back down to give Diego another kiss on the temple.

It seemed impossible for him to cry any more, but as he got up from the bed and headed for the bathroom more tears fell down his cheeks. He lifted his shirt and wiped his eyes, then grabbed the bloody washcloth in the sink and rinsed it out. He could already feel himself starting to dissociate as he watched the diluted blood swirl down the drain. There was no way he was looking in the mirror right now, he would probably lose his grip on reality even faster. He flipped the light switch off, carried the washcloth with him over to the bedside table and grabbed the room and car keys, then slid on his flip flops again. He gave Diego’s sleeping form one last glance before turning the main light off and walking out of the door. 

As he unlocked the car and opened the passenger’s side door, staring at the bloody mess Diego left didn’t feel real. He crouched and wiped the door down with the washcloth, but there was no way the fabric seats and carpet could be cleaned with just a wet rag. He would have to just cover it with stuff. He stood up and leaned into the car enough to turn on the dome light, then moved to open the back door. He still had one plastic bag of stuff left from his thrift store shopping spree, but it was mostly just the stuff since he’d taken his clean clothes bag into the other motel room. The bag contained Diego’s books, the moon mug wrapped in a piece of bubble wrap, the polaroid camera plus the stack of pictures he’d taken, the CD player and the CD cases. It would be enough to cover the blood spots on the carpet in the footwell though, along with his Walmart bag with just a pack of underwear and a box of ammo in it. 

Tucked inside that bag was the drugstore bag with all the makeup they’d bought in it, too. He picked out the black eyeliner pencil and held it between his teeth, then carried both bags to the front of the car and set them strategically along the bloodstained carpet. Then he went to the trunk, popped it and pulled out Diego’s duffle bag. It would easily cover the edge of the seat, so he carried it up there.

Once he set it down he unzipped it and looked for the sheer black shirt with the solid stars on it, the one that had freaked Diego out in the thrift store. In that moment he put the pieces together - Diego’s freakout there, and then a similar one last night at the motel. Oh shit, Klaus had it all wrong that day. Diego hadn’t been _annoyed_ by Klaus trying on feminine, flash trash clothes; he’d been _turned on_. Klaus would have to add that to the rest of the things he’d been filing away for later, because he had other shit to do and Diego was the last person he wanted to think about at the moment. 

Klaus zipped the bag back up, ripped his tye-dye shirt off and slipped on the other one. He knew it would look great with his leather pants, even if the flip flops threw off the whole look. The bracelets on the dash caught his eye, so he picked out a couple that the blood didn’t stain and put those on too. Once he shut the door he bent to look in the door mirror and uncapped the eyeliner, trying not to focus on his reflection too hard as he applied it liberally. He’d looked better in his life, but it would have to do. On his way by the trunk he tossed the pencil inside and slammed it shut. 

He’d had bad nights of work before, but this had to be one of the worst ones. The truck stop had plenty of truckers parked there, but in the middle of fucking _Idaho_ he was either about to make a shitload of money or get his ass kicked - both seemed likely. There was only a few hours of nighttime left, but it would have to be enough. It was impossible to feel even remotely prepared for what he had to do, but he started walking toward the line of semis anyway. 

Klaus only hoped that Diego would be able to see it the way he did - they needed the money or they would be even more screwed than they were now. He had to do this, no matter how exhausted and emotionally traumatized he already was. He just had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final part of Book One will be posted May, 22nd! And then, just a heads up, I'm going to need to take a week break for editing time before posting the first chapter of Book Two, so that one will be posted June 5th! See you next week! ^_^
> 
> Also, jump back to the title page of the story and check out the new story illustration!!


	7. The Tower: Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter of The Tower! I hope you dig it ♥

_** September 2nd, 2015, 6:38AM ** _

Maybe it was the pain, or maybe it was the anxiety of hearing the door open, but either way Diego sat up in bed with his heart racing the second he woke up. Dim, blue morning light flashed through the room as someone opened and shut the door, attempting to be as silent as possible. It was pointless though, because Diego was already jolted wide awake. 

“Klaus?” he called out softly, barely making out his form against the light from the window. 

“Yeah. Go back to sleep, it’s still early,” Klaus said, his voice raspy and hardly recognizable. 

“Are you okay? Where were you?” Diego asked, flinching in pain as he tried to move the covers off himself with his injured arm. He hugged his aching arm to his chest and kicked the blankets off with his feet instead. 

“I just went for a walk, I’m fine,” Klaus said, and Diego immediately knew it was a lie. Why would Klaus lie to him? They were way past that now. He heard Klaus kick off his shoes and drop the room and car keys on the table on the other side of the bed.

“Okay that’s _obviously_ not true,” he said, clicking on the table lamp on his side of the bed. When he turned to look at Klaus he felt his jaw drop. 

“Please just go back to sleep,” Klaus said with closed eyes, hugging one arm around his bare midriff and rubbing his temple with the other hand. He had never looked like more of a disaster. His hair was a mess, the crop top he was wearing had a tear in it, dark circles of exhaustion and eyeliner around his eyes, even the way he was holding himself looked defeated and broken.

“Oh my god, what the hell happened to you?!” Diego asked with a concerned frown, getting up and walking around to the end of the bed to stand in front of him. Klaus covered his face with both hands and then dragged them down, smearing eyeliner in Alice Cooper streaks down his cheeks. 

“I really don’t want to talk about it,” he said weakly, avoiding eye contact. That’s when Diego saw the purple marks on his neck and he had the epiphany. The flash of anger and gutting hurt he felt in that moment almost dropped him to his knees.

“ _What!?_ What the _fuck,_ Klaus? I sleep for a couple hours and you run off and fuck strangers? Jesus fucking _Christ!_ ” Diego swore, losing grip on his temper and glaring hard enough to set Klaus on fire with his gaze. Klaus’ expression turned icy and hardened, in a way Diego had never seen him look before.

“What the fuck else was I supposed to do, Diego?! Are we supposed to keep fleeing across the country with no money?” Klaus snapped, gesturing wildly. The smell of cigarettes and sex wafting off him made Diego want to throw up. “You gonna make it to Seattle on the _58 bucks_ in your wallet, huh? I don’t fucking think so!”

“Maybe you could have fucking _talked to me_ about it before you made a decision like that and we could have worked something out that didn’t involve _truckstop whoring!_ ” Diego spat, immediately knowing he’d made a mistake as soon as the words left his mouth. Klaus inhaled sharply and shook his head, and Diego knew he’d cut him deep.

“You knew my line of work from the _moment_ you met me,” Klaus said coldly, pulling a wad of cash out of his pants. He slapped Diego on the chest with it and then tossed it on the bed, bills flying everywhere. “Don’t act fucking indignant now like you’re any better than me, asshole.”

“Klaus,” Diego started, already feeling bad about what he’d said despite still feeling justified in being pissed. But it was too late, the damage had been done. Klaus held a hand up to stop Diego from talking and walked away toward the bathroom.

“I can’t fucking deal with this right now,” Klaus said to himself as he walked into the bathroom. The brittleness of his voice felt like shards of glass in Diego’s heart and the door slamming was a punch in the gut. 

“ _Shit,_ ” Diego sighed, smacking his left hand over his face and sitting on the end of the bed. He was shaking from the argument and it was making his wounded arm throb painfully but it was the least of his concerns at the moment. 

He was still fuming, but more than anything he wanted to _cry._ Not only because he’d just handled that so damn poorly, but because he _never_ wanted Klaus to have to do that shit again. He especially never, ever wanted Klaus to do that _for_ him in any way, which is exactly what happened. It wasn’t Diego’s responsibility to be some stupid savior _,_ and yet that’s the role he felt he’d taken on when he killed Craig. He wanted to protect Klaus from that fucking life. Instead he’d ended up leading him right back into it with a failed escape plan. 

This was his fault, not Klaus’, and if he was going to be pissed at anyone it should be himself. The extent that Klaus had pushed himself to save them in the last seven hours was _saintly,_ and Diego had no right to make him feel that way. If it wasn’t for him, Diego would have been shot and left for dead in a shitty motel room. And then he had the audacity to shame Klaus after all that he did to save their lives and keep them out of prison. 

Hearing muffled crying from the shower made Diego feel even worse, and he had no idea how to fix this. He couldn’t take back what he’d said, it was too late, and now he’d made Klaus feel like he’d done something wrong when he was only trying to help. He wiped a tear from his cheek and looked over at the scattered cash on the bed. It turned his stomach to think about what Klaus had to do for it, and he couldn’t even bring himself to collect it into a pile. He wished he could just burn it and find another way to get them out of this mess, but there was no way. 

When the bathroom door opened, Diego stood up and tried to look as non-threatening as possible. Klaus was wrapped in just a white towel, having no other clothes in the room to put on besides the ones he’d just taken off. He was avoiding Diego’s eyes, walking past him and sitting on the brown and green couch under the front window. Diego had so many things he wanted to say but couldn’t think of how to articulate any of them.

“Klaus. I-”

“Just shut up. I know you think I’m gross, okay? I get it,” Klaus said, his voice just as defeated as before he went in the bathroom.

“No, I _don’t_. I’m sorry I got mad, you don’t deserve that. I know you were just trying to help us,” Diego said, daring to walk over and sit next to Klaus on the couch. Klaus scoffed and shook his head.

“You really think you can just hurt people and then apologize, and everything will be alright, don’t you?” he said, folding his arms.

“No, you don’t have to forgive me. I know it’s not alright,” Diego said, staring at the floor since Klaus was refusing to look at him anyway. 

His arm was aching like crazy, and he flexed his fingers in and out of a fist. Klaus watched him out of the corner of his eye, but for once he didn’t seem to care. Diego really fucked up this time.

“You should probably call Luther,” Klaus said. Diego groaned softly.

“God, he’s going to be so pissed. He’s definitely going to tell me to fuck off and not call him anymore,” Diego said, already dreading the phone call. 

Klaus didn’t say anything, and Diego could tell he was waiting for Diego to get up, to get away from him. He complied, standing up to go sit on the bed next to the phone instead. As soon as he left, Klaus curled up on the couch in his towel, head on the arm rest and hugging himself. He wasn’t okay and Diego had no idea how to help him. He sighed and picked up the phone. Once he dialed the number, his anxiety ratcheted up just from hearing it ring.

“Hargreeves.”

“Hey, how are you?” he said, then mentally kicked himself. It’s not like he was going to make this better with social niceties. 

“Uh, I’m fine. Where are you?”

“I actually don’t know what city. Somewhere in Idaho?” he said, tasting bile in his throat. He swallowed hard and tried to brace himself for the rest of this conversation. 

“Rigby,” Klaus said from the couch. He was listening even though his eyes were closed. 

“Oh, Rigby, apparently,” Diego said. 

“I wasn’t expecting your call until you got to Shaniko. Is something wrong?” Luther asked, and Diego could hear the suspicion in his voice. 

“You could say that,” Diego said, exhaling heavily. “Do you know an assassin that goes by the codename ChaCha?”

“Yes I do. Her real name is Chandra Chase and I’ve actually got people looking for her,” Luther said, sounding surprised that Diego knew her name. “Why?”

“Wait, why do you have people looking for her?” Diego said, not expecting to hear that at all.

“Because she killed one of my men a couple days ago. Lance, the guy I sent to trade out cars with you. Shit, don’t tell me she was looking for _you,_ ” Luther said, realization dawning on him as he put the pieces together.

“She works for Julio Lopez, the uh, the leader of the gang I’m trying to outrun,” Diego said. His hand was shaking so bad he could barely hold the phone. ChaCha no doubt killed Lance in an effort to get information out of him about Diego. Another death in his name. 

“You joined a fucking _gang,_ Diego? You know what, nevermind, I should have known. Why are you bringing her up?” Luther said, and Diego could hear that he was getting anxious, too. 

“She… she found me,” Diego said, squeezing his eyes shut and flexing the fingers on his wounded arm. He heard Luther inhale sharply. “She shot me.”

“Holy shit, and you’re not dead?”

“No. I shot her back, and then fled,” Diego said, opening his eyes and glancing at Klaus. He sat up on the couch with wide eyes, staring back at Diego with confusion. He clearly did not expect Diego to take the fall for it. 

“... Is she dead?”

“Yes.”

“Good,” Luther said resolutely, and Diego could not have been less prepared to hear that answer. That was not the response the insufferable good-boy Diego used to know would have given. “Where did you get hit?”

“Just in the arm, I’m mostly fine. I can’t believe you’re not pissed at me,” Diego said, locking eyes with Klaus again, who was listening with rapt attention now. 

“If you didn’t kill her, I would have had her killed, anyway. This isn’t the first time that psycho has tangled with my employees. I’m sure you made a ridiculous mess of it, but I’m not sorry she’s dead,” Luther said, and Diego could hardly believe his ears.

“Jesus Luther, that’s cold, for you. But… the cops are going to know I was there. My blood is everywhere and no doubt someone saw us leaving in this car. We’re pretty fucked, here,” he said, speaking easier now that he knew Luther wasn’t cutting him off. “I’m sorry, I had no choice. She would have shot us both if I didn’t kill her.”

“I get it. I’ll take care of it. Collect your shit and your whore. Be ready to leave in one hour,” Luther said, and Diego had to bite his tongue almost clean off to not correct him. It was a solid reminder that Luther was still a fucking asshole despite all the help he was offering. 

“Luther, I can’t drive, and neither can Klaus,” Diego said, watching Klaus look down self consciously again.

“I figured, I’m sending a driver. What motel are you at?”

“Uuuh,” Diego grabbed the complimentary notepad from the table and read the name. “Blue Lake Lodge. There’s a truck stop and gas station attached. I didn’t drive here, so I’m not sure what road it’s on or anything.”

“That’s fine, he will find you. What room number?”

“What room are we in, Klaus?” Diego asked.

“246,” Klaus said. “It’s on the side of the motel facing the road.”

Diego repeated what Klaus said to Luther.

“Alright, stay put. He should be just south of Idaho Falls, but I’m going to have him pick someone else up to take the other car. Give them the keys when they get there,” Luther said, back to his curt, business demeanor.

“Okay, we will be ready... Thank you,” Diego said, quite frankly _astounded_ he would ever utter those words to fucking Luther of all people.

“Don’t mention it,” Luther said. “And Diego?”

“Yes?”

“You better tell me right now if you have anyone else tailing you because the place he’s taking you can _not_ be found. Do you understand me?”

“I understand. I think the only person sent for me was ChaCha, and Julio won’t know she’s dead yet,” Diego said. 

“Alright. Take care,” Luther said, and Diego heard the line go dead.

Diego hung up the phone and looked over at Klaus again. He was holding his hands over his mouth, staring at Diego with raised eyebrows. 

“So uh… that went well,” Diego said, shaking his head in disbelief. 

“What’s going on?” Klaus asked.

“He’s sending a driver to take us… somewhere. He’s really cryptic about it, so I have no idea what’s even there,” Diego said, standing up and grabbing the keys off the bedside table. “I have to go clean the car out. Someone is going to take it when they get here.”

“Wait, I’ll do it. Just go grab me the jeans and t-shirt I left in the front seat really fast, and then I’ll do the rest,” Klaus said. Diego did not deserve him, not even a little bit. Klaus was so quick to set aside his own feelings and exhaustion to help the cause.

“No, it’s okay. You’ve done enough, I’ve got it. Just rest until they get here,” Diego said, walking to the door.

“Diego you’re still covered in blood. Look at your clothes. If anyone sees you out there you’re going to look suspect as fuck,” Klaus said, standing up, too. “Not to mention you’re hurt.”

“I’ll just grab the clothes and change first. I said rest,” Diego said, opening the door a crack and looking around. 

Nobody seemed to be lurking outside, at least not close to the car. He slipped out of the door and shut it behind himself before Klaus could argue with him any further. Once he made it to the car he saw how Klaus had covered all the blood stains with their stuff, and he appreciated Klaus all over again. He did so damn good getting them away from the motel in Montana, keeping them safe this whole time. It made Diego feel even more guilty for being the biggest fucking dick ever earlier.

After he grabbed his duffle bag and Klaus’ clothes and made it back to the room, he noticed that Klaus had cleaned up the pile of money on the bed. He had set it in a neat stack on the bedside table and disappeared back into the bathroom. Diego should have known better than to have expected him to actually rest, but it would be alright. They had another long day in a car ahead of them, so he could sleep then. Diego was just digging out a fresh set of clothes when Klaus came out of the bathroom, still in his towel. He looked so tired, Diego couldn’t believe he was still standing upright. 

“Here,” Klaus said, walking up and holding out the bag of pills for Diego to take.

“I don’t want those, I’m alright,” Diego said, even though his wound was screaming with every move he made. 

“No, I need you to take them away from me,” Klaus said. When Diego gave him a confused expression he continued. “It’s not like those few pills are going to help me. I’m going to be a trainwreck by the end of the day either way. You keep them for your arm when you need to get to sleep.”

“Alright,” Diego said, taking the baggie even though he had no intention of using them anymore. He handed Klaus his jeans and t-shirt, then threw the pills in his duffle bag. 

“Diego…” 

“Yeah?”

“When… when it gets bad, I need you to keep me from leaving. I don’t care if you have to hurt me to keep me from escaping. Because I will try, and I’m sorry in advance,” Klaus said, looking guilty already and he hadn’t even done anything yet. Diego knew it had to have taken a lot of willpower for him to hand over what few pills he had left. 

“I’m not going to hurt you, Klaus. But don’t worry, where we are going it wouldn’t matter even if you did try to find more. There won’t be any sources around for miles,” Diego said. Klaus shook his head.

“Don’t underestimate me. Literally nothing has ever stopped me before, even jail,” he said, nervously picking at some loose threads on the jeans in his arms.

“Listen, if you can quit heroin, you can beat this, too. You’re going to be alright, man,” Diego said.

“It’s going to get bad, Diego,” Klaus said, biting his lip.

“I know. I’ve seen it plenty of times in prison. I will take care of you, I promise,” Diego said sincerely. “But you have to promise me something, too.”

“What?”

“This has to be it. This has to be for real, not just until you can get to Seattle and get another fix. You promise me you’re done with this shit, and I will help you every step of the way, even the ugly parts,” Diego said.

“Please don’t make me promise you something I might not be able to follow through on,” Klaus said, giving Diego such a sad look it made his throat get tight. 

“I know you’re scared, but you’re not going to relapse. I won’t let you,” Diego said, dropping the shirt he was holding to reach out and rest his left hand over Klaus’ arm holding his clothes.

“You’re not going to like me sober, Diego. You’re not going to want to be around me,” Klaus said, and Diego sighed and let his hand drop from Klaus’ arm. He wasn’t feeling up for being sentimental at the moment, but he was going to be anyway because Klaus needed to hear it. 

“Look, you keep saying that and it’s not true. Drugs don’t make you the person I like. Drugs don’t make you thoughtful and kind, they don’t make you sing your heart out to dumb pop songs, they don’t make you smart and colorful and genuine like nobody I’ve ever met before,” Diego said, trying to catch Klaus’ eyes but he wouldn’t look up. “Drugs don’t make you save my life and take care of me the way you did. You’re way fucking stronger than you think you are, and you’re going to beat this, okay?”

“Okay,” Klaus whispered, bringing his balled up clothes up to bury his face. Diego could hear his hitched breathing as he tried to stifle the crying.

“Now get dressed and go lay down for a while until they get here. I know you’ve got to be dead on your feet,” Diego said, scooping up his pile of clothes and heading for the bathroom. He would have stayed to try and comfort Klaus but he had to pee like crazy since he hadn’t in like, fucking forever. 

It wasn’t until he tried to get his tank top off that he realized… he couldn’t. He couldn’t lift his arm that high, and it pissed him off that he was going to need help getting dressed like a toddler. He managed to drop his pajama pants and step into his underwear and jeans one-handed, but there was no way he was going to be able to get the shirt off and put the clean one on. He grumbled to himself and took his clean shirt back out into the room. 

“Hey, can you help me with this?” Diego said, but then he realized Klaus wasn’t in the room. He frowned and strode toward the door, ready to be pissed off already. Except Klaus wasn’t being shady, he had gotten dressed and went out to clean out the car. Diego doubled back and grabbed the room key, then marched out still carrying his t-shirt. Klaus was stacking all their shit on the roof of the car, bent halfway in the back seat so he didn’t see Diego coming.

“Dude, I told you I can do this part,” Diego said. The moment he spoke he noticed Klaus jump. He pulled his head out from the car and glared at Diego. “You need to take a nap or you’re going to burn out in a bad way.”

“Don’t sneak up on me like that, you scared the shit out of me,” Klaus said around a cigarette between his lips. “And I’m fine. I may never sleep again after last night, anyway.”

“Klaus-” Diego started, but Klaus interrupted him, changing the subject to avoid it being hassled about it. 

“Why are you still wearing that shirt full of crusty blood?” Klaus asked with raised eyebrows. 

“Because I can’t get it off myself. I can’t get this one on either,” Diego admitted, frowning at the black t-shirt in his hand like it was the shirt’s fault he couldn’t do it himself. 

“Oh, jeez, I’m sorry. Let me help,” Klaus said, dropping his smoke and stepping on it before holding his hands out by Diego’s waist. 

He waited for Diego to sigh dramatically and hold one arm up above his head, and lift the wounded one as far as he could. It was awkward and embarrassing, but Klaus was trying to avert his eyes once he got the shirt off, which Diego appreciated. Not that he was embarrassed of his body particularly, but the situation was way too embarrassing to be flirty about it and Klaus seemed to sense that. 

Klaus helped him into the t-shirt one arm at a time, getting the shirt over his head without causing Diego any extra pain. He smiled at Diego when he tugged the shirt the rest of the way down. “You also forgot to button your fly. Did you need me to do that too?”

 _“No,_ ” Diego said, blushing immediately and reaching to fasten the button with one hand. It was stupidly hard, but he managed it. He would have died if Klaus had to do that for him. “Thanks, though.”

“Anytime, baby,” Klaus said, giving him a wink and then ducking back into the back seat. Diego felt his blush deepen at the pet name, even though Klaus had called him ‘honey’ several times before. This time felt a little different, but he tried to brush it off. At least Klaus didn’t seem to be pissed off at him anymore, not that Diego really deserved the forgiveness so quickly. 

“Give me the keys, I’ll get the shit out of the trunk,” Diego said.

Between the two of them (or one and a half of them, since Diego was half useless) they managed to stuff all their crap in Diego’s bag, and the rest in the plastic bags. The last thing Klaus threw in the top of the open duffle bag was the knife and it sent a shiver down Diego’s spine as he zipped it shut. He was torn between wanting to ditch it and wanting to keep it, because it was a nice knife, but it was also… tainted. 

Waiting until the driver showed up was going to be torture. After they carried the bags in and set them on the bed, there was nothing else to do but sit around and stress out. Diego wanted to talk to Klaus more about what they had fought about, but he could tell it was just not the right time. Maybe it never would be, because Klaus was going to be a mental and physical disaster for a week at the very least during withdrawal, and after that it would have been too long to bring it up again. Diego would just have to figure out other ways to let Klaus know that he realizes he was wrong, and that he didn’t find him gross or wrong for what he did.

“So, where did you learn how to shoot that well?” Diego asked, breaking the silence from where he was sitting on the bed. Klaus had sat back on the couch when they got back inside, lost in thought. The question wasn’t quite as burning as the one Diego was sitting on about Klaus’ wrist scars, but he was never going to needle him about that, no matter how much he was dying to know.

“What? Oh, um, Dave taught me,” Klaus said, but he didn’t light up like he did the first time he told Diego about Dave.

“That’s a weird thing to teach your boyfriend,” Diego said, and Klaus shrugged.

“Not really. His parents were big into that 2nd Amendment lifestyle. We had to be sneaky about the romantic aspect of our relationship, so when his parents were around we just shot targets and cans off fences. He taught me a lot of practical stuff he learned in ROTC, and other random survival and medical knowledge he had picked up that might help him in the military,” Klaus said, swallowing hard and scratching his hand through his hair. “I didn’t give a shit about firing guns, but I loved him and would have done anything to spend time with him. I just also happened to get pretty good at it while I was trying to impress him.” 

“You know what, that sounds exactly like something you would do,” Diego said, feeling the corners of his mouth perk up.

“What? Accidentally become a decent marksman just to impress a hot guy?” Klaus said, giving Diego a half-hearted smirk. 

“Yes,” Diego said. “You’ve led such an interesting, crazy life. I feel like you could talk to me about yourself for years and I’d still never know everything about you.”

“If by ‘interesting’ you mean a long line of bad decisions and reckless behavior, then sure,” Klaus said, but Diego could tell he was still at least a little flattered.

“No, don’t twist it. I mean that’s part of who you are too, sure, but you’re not _only_ your bad decisions, Klaus. If you’re going to get through this withdrawal and stay clean, you have to try to see all the good in yourself, not just all of the bad shit that made you turn to drugs,” Diego said, and he hoped that wasn’t too lame to say out loud. Klaus rolled his eyes.

“Okay, Dr. Phil,” he said, folding his arms and leaning back on the couch. He sounded more tired than actually annoyed. “I didn’t realize this was a therapy session.”

“It’s not, I’m just telling you the truth. I know in the next few days you’re going to hate yourself more than ever. But hey, I need you to remember that your brain is a fucking liar and you’re better than you tell yourself you are,” Diego said, feeling himself get passionate about it. 

He wondered how much of that pill was still lingering in his system because he would have never said shit like this out loud a couple days ago. But Klaus staying clean was important to him, and he had to say these things now before the worst of the withdrawal clouded his judgement. It was making Klaus uncomfortable though, and Diego could certainly recognize when someone was clamming up. He was a professional, after all. 

“Sure,” Klaus said, sighing and closing his eyes. Before Diego could spill any more annoyingly inspirational pearls of wisdom, there was a heavy knock at the door and his anxiety spiked through the roof. Klaus’ eyes flew open and he sat up. “Is that them?”

“I don’t know. Luther said an hour, but it has only been like 40 minutes at most,” Diego said quietly, leaning over on the bed and opening the drawer under the table with his left hand. He pulled out the gun and got up, heading for the door.

“Diego, what the fuck, don’t shoot them!” Klaus hissed, sliding off the couch and crouching down. Diego shushed him, turned off the safety and looked through the peephole. Two men were standing there; one extremely tall, white guy with a heavy build in a navy blue suit and then a shorter, skinnier, black guy with a bald head and a light blue polo and khakis. The bald guy was holding a heavy, black tool chest, or at least Diego could only assume that's what it was. 

“Open up, we have a long drive ahead of us,” the taller man called, banging on the door again. 

They weren’t cops, and if they knew about the ‘drive’ it seemed reasonable to assume these were Luther’s men. Diego was still suspicious, though. He looked over at Klaus kneeling in front of the couch and Klaus gestured for him to just open it. So he did, but only a crack with the chain lock still across the door.

“Show me your badge,” Diego said, glaring out of the crack suspiciously. He had swapped the gun to his right hand to turn the knob with his left hand, and he could feel his whole arm tremble from just the weight of it.

“Fuck, seriously? Who the hell else would be standing at your door right now?” the taller man said, rolling his eyes and fishing around in his back pants pocket for his wallet. The other guy had his badge clipped to his pants on a nerdy retractable leash and he drew it out toward Diego. It was a Hargreeves badge alright, but there was no name listed. The other guy finally got his badge out of his wallet and held up, and apparently his name was just ‘Hazel.’ “Are you satisfied?”

Diego shut the door without answering. He made quick work of the door chain and reopened it, then swapped the gun back to his other hand before he dropped it. Hazel started to step into the room until he saw the gun and stopped mid-step with his hands held up.

“Hey now, we’re here to help your sorry ass. You can put the gun away, Rambo,” he said, waiting for Diego to tuck it in the back of his pants before he walked in. He noticed Klaus cowering on the floor in front of the couch and rolled his eyes. “Actually, you need to give the gun to my associate.”

“No way,” Diego said, frowning even harder. Hazel turned to face him while his ‘associate’ walked into the bathroom without invitation. “If we didn’t have this gun I would be dead.”

“And if you ever use that gun again ballistics will tie it to the murder you comitted, genius,” Hazel said, holding out his hand. Diego glanced at Klaus behind Hazel. He had stood up and crossed his arms awkwardly, but nodded for Diego to give Hazel the gun. Diego pulled the gun out of his pants and reluctantly handed it to Hazel. “Good. Now leave the car keys on the nightstand and come with me.”

“Wait, who the hell is that guy, anyway?” Diego asked, nodding toward the bathroom.

“He doesn’t use a name, but he’s going to clean this room to make sure you rookies don’t leave any evidence behind,” Hazel said. He turned the gun in his hand a couple times, checking it out before sidestepping Diego and setting it on the nightstand. “Leave him the credit card you used in Montana, too. He will see that it’s used in another state so it looks like you guys headed a different direction.”

“What kind of business did you say Luther ran, exactly?” Klaus said, eyebrows raised. 

Of course he knew the technical answer, but covering up crime scenes and aiding and abetting wasn’t typically the sort of thing an electronics and engineering company took part in. This was some next level shit and Diego couldn’t wait to grill Luther about what his company actually does. The more things unfolded, the more it seemed like Luther ‘I would have had her killed, anyway’ Hargreeves was more of a fucking mob boss than a company C.E.O. Nobody running a legit operation had nameless henchmen out doing their dirty work. Diego left the card and keys on the nightstand, anyway. 

“Just go get in the black Land Rover and stop asking questions. Do you want to get out of here or not?” Hazel said, not even bothering to look at Klaus as he opened the door, gesturing sarcastically for them to exit. “Your chariot awaits, felons.”

Diego and Klaus did as they were told, grabbing up their bags and following Hazel out of the room. This guy was getting on Diego’s last nerve, but he was not in a position to argue. The last thing Diego ever wanted when he got out of prison was to be taking orders again, especially from fucking _Luther,_ even indirectly. 

“Holy shit, this is a nice car,” Klaus said, hopping up in the back behind the driver’s seat after they set all their shit in the open trunk. 

It was true, Land Rovers were extremely nice, and Diego wondered if it was a company car or if Hazel could actually afford one. This one had heavily tinted back windows and it already made Diego feel safer since nobody could see them riding back there. 

Diego hefted himself up next to Klaus on the passenger side, and then realized he couldn’t shut the door with his right arm. He hugged it to his chest, braced his feet well enough so that he could lean out of the car without falling out and then slammed the door with his left hand. This shit was getting really old, but this wound wouldn’t heal for a long time so he had to suck it up. They both practically hit the roof when Hazel slammed the back trunk hatch with no warning.

“God, I hate this guy,” Diego grumped while Hazel couldn’t hear him.

“I don’t have the energy to hate anyone right now. I’m just happy I’m not the one driving anymore,” Klaus said, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. “My brain feels like it’s shriveled up into a raisin.”

“Because you’re exhausted and probably dehydrated,” Diego said, shaking off his annoyance with Hazel to be concerned about Klaus instead. “When was the last time you took the pills?”

“Fuck, I don’t know. Like 4am? To be honest with you the last eight or nine hours have been a really horrific blur, so I wasn’t exactly checkin’ the clock,” Klaus said, letting his head roll to the side so he could gaze at Diego with tired eyes. Behind the exhaustion Diego could see the fear, because if his last dose was at 4am, he only had an hour or two before some of the uncomfortable symptoms would begin. 

Diego tried to give him a reassuring smile but it might have looked more like a grimace. He was partially distracted by the notion that it had really only been _less_ than 10 hours ago that Klaus had shot ChaCha and their world turned upside down for a second time, so smiling was difficult. How had so many completely fucked up things happened in such a small amount of time? This time yesterday things were seeming pretty okay, all things considered. All he’d been concerned with then was that he had let Klaus kiss him the night before. It seemed so trivial now. 

“You’re going to be okay,” Diego said, holding out his hand on the middle seat between them.

He hoped the physical contact would help, because he was at a loss for words other than empty encouragement. Klaus was _not_ going to be okay. He wasn’t going to die, but every passing hour from this point on was going to drag him through a fresh circle of Hell as each new symptom cropped up. 

Klaus looked down at Diego’s hand and looked back up at him.

“I’m still mad at you, you know,” he said, but it was laced with tired sarcasm and insincerity.

“I know. I’m so sorry for the way I reacted. I just wish I would have known that was your plan before I found out after the fact,” Diego said, starting to draw his rejected hand back. Klaus reached out and caught it by the thumb before he could bring it back to his lap, though. 

“Would you have let me go if you knew?” he said quietly, moving his hand to thread their fingers together properly. Diego had to look away from his eyes, because he felt stupid and guilty. 

“I wouldn’t have been happy about it, but I’m not your keeper, Klaus. You can do whatever you want,” Diego said, forcing himself to man up and look him in the face again. Klaus smirked and rubbed his thumb over Diego’s. 

“Even drugs?”

“ _No._ You can do everything except that,” Diego said, frowning even though he had a feeling that Klaus was just kidding judging by his smirk. Or maybe he was testing Diego to see if he remembered. “I never want you to feel controlled by me, but I will not let you put that shit in your body anymore. You’re the one that told me to stop you no matter what. I gave you my word.”

“Okay,” Klaus said softly, his eyes closing. Diego was beyond relieved that the exhaustion seemed to be catching up to him, just fast enough to hopefully let him sleep through the beginning of the withdrawal. He didn’t even stir when Hazel opened the driver’s door and got in, dumping an armload of snacks into the passenger’s seat. 

“Where the hell did you go? I thought we were in a big ass hurry,” Diego asked, realizing that it had been at least 10 minutes since Hazel had closed the trunk.

“Driving makes me hungry,” Hazel said, reaching in the seat next to him. He looked at Diego in the rearview mirror and held up a Twix bar. “If you want something just ask. That was a really good vending machine.”

“I’m fine,” Diego said, even though he was actually really hungry now that he thought about it. The sushi they had the night before was way out of his system by now, but he certainly didn’t want vending machine candy. It was going to hurt his already wounded pride, but he would have to ask Hazel to stop somewhere with real food. “Neither of us have eaten anything substantial in a while, though. So if you see a drive through or something, we have cash for food.”

“Can you wait 20 minutes? The food in Idaho Falls is a hell of a lot better,” Hazel said around a Twix hanging out of his mouth like a cigar. 

“That’s fine,” Diego said, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

As the car started moving Diego felt Klaus’ hand go slack against his. He was really asleep now, head drooped on his own shoulder and snoring softly. His neck was going to be incredibly stiff when he woke up if he didn’t lean it on something else soon, though. Diego decided he would rather be uncomfortable than watch Klaus be in any more pain, so he picked up Klaus’ arm and scooted closer to the middle. 

Klaus stirred long enough to pick his head up, notice that Diego was closer to him and then rest his head on his shoulder, exactly as Diego intended. Klaus shifted so his arm was behind Diego’s and reached up to grab his hand again from underneath, then he rested his other hand over top of their clasped ones. He was essentially hugging Diego’s arm and it was… really sweet. Uncomfortable, but sweet. Diego knew in a matter of moments that his wounded arm was going to miss the armrest on the other door, but it was worth it to feel Klaus let out a sleepy, contented sigh against his shoulder.

After a few minutes of letting himself enjoy the feel of Klaus leaning into him and the soft snores against his neck, the dull hum of the tires on the road, and Hazel casually crunching on candy in the front seat, Diego felt his own eyes getting heavy. He had only slept maybe two or three hours before Klaus had come back to the room and startled him awake, so it was reasonable for him to still be tired. He figured it wouldn’t hurt to shut his eyes and doze a little until they stopped in Idaho Falls for food. Klaus’ hair was brushing softly against his cheek already, so he let his head tip to the side and rested his cheek on Klaus’ head. 

“Hey. Hey felons, it’s time to wake up,” Hazel said, shaking a paper bag noisily from the front. 

Diego had accidentally knocked out completely. When he opened his eyes, the first thing he registered was that his entire right arm was stiff and more painful than ever from hanging limply at his side with no support. He groaned and tried to pick it up, but that just hurt worse. When he tried to move his left arm, that one was completely dead too - asleep all the way down to his fingertips from the weight of Klaus leaning heavily against him for... God knew how long. Klaus was still snoozing softly against him, unaffected by the noise. 

“Fuck, what time is it?” Diego asked, trying to blink away the blurry sleep eyes and look at the radio clock in the front. 

“It’s been about two hours since we left Rigby. You were sound asleep when I went through Idaho Falls,” Hazel said, watching Diego struggle with his two painful arms in the rearview mirror. 

“Why the hell didn’t you wake me up when we got there?” Diego snapped, glaring at Hazel’s eyes in the mirror. 

“That’s not my job. I’m not paid enough to be your chauffeur _and_ your assistant,” Hazel said, and he was lucky Diego’s arms didn’t work because he could suckerpunch him in the side of the head just for being annoying. 

“You’re paid enough to be a prick though, apparently,” Diego grumped, finally bringing his right arm up to his chest through the pain.

“Wow, well I guess I bought myself this whole bag of tacos then,” Hazel said, holding up the paper bag he’d shaken to wake them up. Diego wanted to retort bitterly, but his empty stomach made him hold his tongue. 

“You could have led with that, _sorry,_ ” Diego muttered, not that he was sorry in the slightest. 

“You’re _welcome,_ ” Hazel said, reaching back and setting the bag on Diego’s lap. 

“Hey,” Diego said softly close to Klaus’ head, jostling his shoulder lightly. As much as he didn’t want to disturb Klaus, he absolutely needed to get the circulation back to his arm and straighten his back out. Plus Klaus was kind of sweaty and it was making Diego too warm, too. “Hey, sit up, Klaus.”

“Nooo,” Klaus said, wrapping himself around Diego’s arm tighter. 

“C’mon, you have to. Just for a few minutes,” Diego coaxed, trying to wiggle his dead fingers out of Klaus’ grip. He reluctantly complied, letting go of Diego and sitting up. He groaned when he stretched and then slumped back against the seat with his eyes still closed.

“How are you feeling?” Diego asked, making Klaus groan again. The pins and needles feeling in the arm that Klaus released was distracting, but he tried to ignore it as the circulation came back. It was nothing compared to taking off the tourniquet on the other arm, so he could suck it up. 

“You’re going to ask me that 40 times today, aren’t you?” Klaus said, reaching up to rub his eyes with both hands. 

“Probably.”

“I’m fine. Too warm though,” he said, looking for the window button on the door panel. 

Diego could see the light sheen of sweat over his forehead. He figured it was one of the first symptoms, because it wasn’t warm inside the car other than where Klaus had been leaning against him. It could only get worse from here, and he did not envy Klaus one bit. 

“Are you hungry?”

“Ugh, god no,” Klaus said, pressing the window button repeatedly but nothing happened. “Hey, is this shit locked?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah, just a second,” Hazel said, but Klaus continued to push it almost frantically until Hazel turned the child lock off. He let out a sigh of relief as soon as the window cracked and the wind whipped in his face. They both squinted in the blast of sunshine that streaked in the dark back seat along with the cool air. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to eat anything? You might regret that later when you’re too nauseated to eat for a couple days,” Diego said, unfolding the top of the paper bag and looking down at all of the individually foil-wrapped hard shell tacos inside. The delicious smell wafting out of the bag made his stomach growl eagerly. 

“Diego, you’re super cute mother henning me, but I’m honestly fine right now. Thank you,” Klaus said, giving him a soft smile. Diego felt lame for thinking ‘ _this might be the last smile I see for a while,_ ’ but it was true. He also felt his face heat up from being called ‘cute’ - he was never going to get used to that, but he would be a liar if he said he didn’t like it. 

“Alright, well don’t mind if I do,” he said, reaching in the bag and pulling out one of the tacos.

Diego never felt self-conscious about eating in front of people before, but the crunch of the shell was the loudest thing in the fucking world in the otherwise quiet car. He wished anyone else was eating too, but once he started he was too hungry to stop. The bottoms were a little soggy from the time that had passed, but otherwise they were the best tacos he’d had in a long time. Maybe it was just because he was starving. There were eight tacos in the bag and he scarfed down most of them, leaving a couple in case Klaus decided he could eat later, even though Diego knew he wouldn’t. When he finished he looked over at Klaus, who was staring at him with the same soft, adoring smile, but also like he wanted to laugh.

“What?” Diego asked, frowning and feeling self-conscious again. 

“You have sour cream on your face, like both sides,” Klaus said, bringing his hand up to his face to gesture wiping both corners of his mouth. 

Diego frowned and copied the motion, wiping both sides of his mouth with his thumb and forefinger. There were no napkins in the bag, so he had no choice but to lick his fingers. Klaus did laugh then, but he kept his closed-lipped smile so it rumbled from his chest.

“Whatever, they were messy and I’m not at a table,” Diego said, but he couldn’t stop himself from smirking, too.

“I’m not judging, you’re just cute,” Klaus said, nudging Diego’s knee with his own. Diego rolled his eyes and shook his head, having to look away. He knew he was blushing again, too, damn it. Klaus was going to kill him with embarrassing compliments one of these days, but for a few moments things felt _almost_ normal again. Or at least normal as of the last couple days - nothing about his life had been ‘normal’ since the moment they’d first met. 

“If you say so,” he said, forcing himself to look back at Klaus. He had his head tipped against the door, eyes getting heavy again. 

“I do,” he said quietly, and Diego knew he was going to slip off to sleep again. Once he was sure Klaus was out, he let himself acknowledge that he was extremely thirsty. 

“Hey, did you happen to get anything to drink?” Diego asked Hazel, even though he didn’t feel like making conversation with this dude.

“No, the taco truck only had food. You’ll just have to suffer for a while because I’m not stopping again until somebody has to piss,” Hazel said, keeping his eyes on the road. 

“Okay, I have to piss, then,” Diego sassed. Hazel gave him an unimpressed stare-face in the mirror and kept driving. When Diego didn’t get a response he scoffed. “Why did I think someone that worked for Luther might be cool?”

“Quick question, have you met _yourself,_ buddy?” Hazel asked. “You have the charisma of a rattlesnake that just got stepped on.”

“Just fucking stop somewhere, Jesus,” Diego snapped, probably proving Hazel’s point.

“We’ve barely been on the road for two hours! I can’t stop every other hour or we will never get there!” Hazel said, raising his voice.

“ _Fine!_ ” Diego snapped even louder. 

“ _Fine!”_ Hazel snapped back. 

“Shhhh,” Klaus interrupted, keeping his eyes closed. “You guys are _both_ being annoying. And like, so loud.”

“Sorry,” Diego said, still scowling at the back of Hazel’s head. 

“You trying to set me on fire, Drew Barrymore?” Hazel said, glancing at him in the mirror again. Klaus chuckled but quickly stifled it, pulling both of his lips in his mouth and biting them to stop smiling. It especially annoyed Diego that he didn’t understand the reference, but apparently Klaus did. 

Hazel rolled his eyes as Diego glared at him harder. “Calm down, I’ll stop soon, alright? Christ.”

“ _Thank you,_ ” Diego said, dripping with bitter sarcasm.

At least Hazel was a man of his word. He pulled off at the next exit and found a gas station, but it wasn’t until that moment that Diego realized… he couldn’t go in. He was still in fucking socks, but he really needed to take this opportunity to use the bathroom before Hazel decided to not stop again for way too long. He sighed and touched Klaus’ forearm. 

“Hey, are you awake?” he asked, watching his face for signs of alertness.

“Yep,” he responded, eyes closed.

“Do you have to use the bathroom?”

“No, I’m all set,” Klaus said, waving his hand slightly. “Go in without me.”

“Do you uh… do you mind if I borrow your shoes?” Diego asked, and he felt his pride die a little when Klaus giggled. He couldn’t pretend to be sleeping anymore, so he sat up and kicked off his flip flops. 

“Sure, they’re all yours,” he said, leaning down to grab them from the footwell and hand them to Diego.

“Do you want anything while I’m in here?” Diego asked, trying to ignore how awkward he felt about stripping off his socks and putting on fucking flip flops. He had never worn them in his life, let alone as a grown ass man. At least they fit reasonably well. The piece of plastic between his toes felt awful, but it was either this or walk on a public bathroom floor in socks. Even more ghastly. 

“I could use something with carbonation, if you don’t mind,” he said, looking down at Diego’s feet and snorting. “You rock those, by the way.”

Diego gave him a narrow-eyed face that was a cross between ‘how dare you’ and ‘you’re lucky I like you,’ followed by a head shake. Klaus seemed to read both of those sentiments and laughed again. 

“Are you coming or what?” Hazel interrupted, sticking his face in the window that Klaus had opened earlier. 

“Yeah, but why are you waiting for me? I can handle it by myself,” Diego said. 

He turned his body so he could open the door with his left hand, then slid out of the car. When he walked around Hazel was still standing there waiting for him. Diego frowned at him and walked into the gas station. After he used the bathroom and stepped back out into the store, Hazel was standing outside the door, still waiting for him. 

“What the hell? Are you literally… watching me?”

“Yes,” Hazel said frankly, and Diego immediately felt the familiar flash of white hot rage bolt through him.

“Did Luther tell you to fucking _watch me like a child_?” he spat, stepping closer into Hazel’s personal space.

“Yes, but more along the lines of ‘watch you like you’ve committed several serious crimes in the last five days.’ It’s just precautionary,” Hazel said, glancing around to see if anyone was listening. It took all of Diego’s willpower to not throw a punch the second he wasn’t paying attention. Hazel was at least a head and shoulders taller than him, but Diego could still take him, even wounded. 

“The only crime I’m going to commit in this gas station is assault and battery when I fucking kick your ass!” Diego said, jabbing his finger harshly into Hazel’s chest. He was unfazed, sighing heavily and casually knocking Diego’s hand away. He took a step back and nodded. 

“Luther said you had a short fuse, he wasn’t exaggerating,” Hazel said, and Diego felt his willpower snap like a twig. 

He took a powerful swing at Hazel’s face with his left fist, but Hazel was lightning fast, catching Diego’s fist in his left hand before it could hit his face. He gripped it tight enough to break all of Diego’s knuckles with the slightest bit more pressure. Diego froze and gawked at his fist in Hazel’s crazy strong grip, because that had _definitely_ never happened to him before. He was used to being able to drop people almost instantly, but Hazel was different.

“That’s your one strike. If you try to hit me again I _will_ hurt you. Badly,” Hazel said, fire in his eyes despite his calm tone. “Get your drink and get in the vehicle.”

“O-okay,” Diego said, both stunned and humiliated at the same time. He was never one to back down from a challenge, but perhaps this time he was wrong about his chances of winning this fight. At least while he was injured, and also probably not while he was wearing flip flops either. 

“That’s what I thought. I will wait outside for you,” Hazel said, releasing Diego’s fist and straightening his suit jacket.

Diego made quick work of getting a couple bottles of water and a Pepsi for Klaus. It was the only soda he could remember Klaus ever ordering, so he hoped it would suffice. While he was at the register he noticed a box of Blowpops on the rack under the counter. He picked out a random flavor and set it on the counter too, then paid the clerk. 

“Have a nice day,” she said, handing him his change and a plastic bag full of his stuff. He swallowed his sarcastic remark and tried to give her a polite head nod instead. 

When he walked out Hazel was leaning against the building with arms folded, staring expectantly at the door. Diego gave him his ugliest look and stormed toward the car, except it lost some of the effect as the stupid, loud flap of the flip flops with every stomp ruined the whole thing. He had never felt less dignified in his life, except for maybe the squat and cough situation when he was first transferred to prison. Okay that was definitely worse, but it was still going to take him a long time to shake off this shame. 

He made it to the car first, but as soon as he opened the door he saw Klaus hanging over the back seat, ass in the air. When the door opened he startled, sliding back down in the seat and looking guilty as sin. Diego knew what he was doing, and it didn’t put him in a better mood.

“They aren’t in there anymore, I flushed them,” he said, tossing the bag of drinks on the middle seat and climbing inside. Klaus folded his arms and looked out the window. At least he didn’t have the audacity to lie about what he was looking for back there. Then again, Diego had just lied to him about what he’d done with the pills, but it was a well-intentioned lie. The pills were still in his duffle bag. He would most certainly be getting rid of them at the next opportunity, though, make no mistake. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just… it’s starting to get hard,” Klaus said to the window, his knee bouncing nervously.

“I get it, but please don’t do anything stupid,” he said. Hazel opened the driver’s side door and got in, and Diego realized he had just done something stupid in the gas station, too. He needed to follow his own advice.

“I’m trying,” Klaus said softly, and Diego could hear the strain in his voice. Klaus started chewing his fingernail, knee still bouncing and still avoiding eye contact. Diego sighed and picked up the bag so he could slide in the middle again. 

“Here,” he said, pulling the Pepsi out of the bag, and then the Blowpop. Klaus managed a weak smile and took the sucker from him. “I thought it might help.”

“Thank you,” Klaus said, setting both things in his lap and turning to give Diego an awkward but sweet one-armed hug. Diego brought up his sore arm and rested it over Klaus’ shoulders for a few moments but Klaus didn’t let go immediately. He must have needed the hug, so Diego held on tight until he felt Klaus start to pull back. “You’re really sweet sometimes.” 

Diego let out a surprised snort of amusement. “Only sometimes.”

“No need to over do it, anyway,” Klaus said, cracking open the drink. “No lie though, I was also looking for the smokes. I can’t stop that too, or I’ll really lose my shit.”

“If you light up a cigarette in this car I will leave you on the side of the road,” Hazel said with a deadly serious tone. Klaus gave Diego a wide-eyed look.

“Look, I know we got off on the wrong foot-” Diego started, but Hazel interrupted him.

“No exceptions. This is a company vehicle. I’ll get my ass chewed up if I bring it back smelling like an ashtray,” Hazel said, keeping his eyes forward.

“You don’t understand, he-” Diego tried again, but Hazel interrupted again.

“Oh, yes I do,” he said, glancing in his side mirrors before leaning over into the passenger’s seat. Diego heard the glove box pop open and Hazel shuffling around in there. When he sat up he handed a small square package to the back. “I’m wearing three of these as we speak.”

Diego took the package and read it: 21mg nicotine patch, 24 hour release. Maybe that wasn’t such a terrible idea, actually. He handed it to Klaus, who immediately gave Diego an are-you-serious expression. 

“I mean you could at least try it,” Diego said. “What other choice do you have at the moment?”

“Ugh,” Klaus scoffed, rolling his eyes and snatching the patch from Diego’s hand. He ripped it open with his teeth, peeled the plastic off the back and smacked it on his arm with such a snappy, sassy attitude that Diego had to hold in a laugh. He knew what it was like to be laughed at when you were legitimately mad about something, so he couldn’t let Klaus know he was adorable when he was grumpy.

“I hope it helps,” Diego said, reaching in the plastic bag on his lap and pulling out one of the waters.

“What about you?” Klaus asked. 

“I’m fine. I’ve been meaning to quit that shit anyway. Seems like a good time,” he said. He already hadn’t had one since the night before, and it wasn’t really plaguing him to light up. It seemed stupid to keep doing it when he was already too preoccupied with current events to even worry about it.

“How can you just… stop?” Klaus asked, like he just could not believe that was possible. Diego shrugged. 

“I only smoked like four or five a day, you are a way heavier smoker than I’ve ever been. It was just a dumb thing I picked up in prison. I never intended to keep doing it after I got out, anyway,” Diego said, shrugging and taking a drink of water.

“That’s a big decision to make on a whim, but good luck,” Klaus said, still looking at Diego like he was crazy for just stopping cold turkey.

“I’ve made much worse decisions on a whim, it will be fine,” Diego said. He capped his water and set it on the other side of him on the seat.

“You can suffer with me, then,” Klaus said, picking up his sucker and peeling off the wrapper. He popped it in his mouth and smirked at Diego around the stick. 

Diego didn’t want to point out that anything he could experience from not smoking was nothing compared to the bullshit Klaus would be going through over the next few days. If it made him feel better to have a suffering companion, Diego would let him have it. Instead he held up his left arm, nodding for Klaus to lean against him again if he wanted to. And he did, nestling himself comfortably under Diego’s arm and letting out a content sigh when Diego rested his arm over his shoulders once he was situated. For a moment Diego could pretend that nothing fucked up was happening, that they were just on a normal road trip somewhere. It wouldn’t last, but for now it felt nice.

For the next couple hours Diego had nothing but time to think. Klaus wasn’t sleeping but he wasn’t saying anything either, and Diego knew he must have been feeling pretty bad to not talk endlessly. So far Klaus had changed positions at least a dozen times, but now he had pushed Diego all the way to the other side of the back seat so that he could lay down, curled in the fetal position with his head on Diego’s thigh. The muscle aches had started to kick in and it was making him squirm and moan softly every so often. Diego had been petting his hair the way Grace used to do for him when he was sick, but he was mostly distracted by his depressing thoughts. 

He was busy thinking about whether or not Hazel was going to tell Luther about their altercation, also about how he really almost hit Hazel, and how absolutely fucking out of line he’d been for doing so. If he would have landed that punch it would have ruined his and Klaus’ only chance of avoiding prison or worse. What Hazel had said to trigger Diego wasn’t even that bad. He was lucky Hazel seemed to have been warned that he would be likely to start some shit and nipped it in the bud.

Diego had been ashamed of that reputation plenty of times, but not as much as he was today. The fact that he put Klaus’ life in danger because he couldn’t control himself made him sick to his stomach. How was he supposed to control it? When that aggressive switch flipped in his brain he couldn’t see reason, he couldn’t think of the consequences of his actions. All he ever saw were all the ways he could effectively hurt someone. He was lucky this time, but what about next time? What if he had gotten the drop on Hazel and managed to really hurt him - could he have stopped himself from going too far? Would he _kill_ again? Right in the middle of a gas station, no less.

And worse, what if Klaus ever genuinely pisses him off? Sure he could tell himself he would never, _ever_ hurt him, but… he didn’t know. He didn’t fucking know for sure, because every time he’d ever been in that blind fury phase, it didn’t matter who he was hurting. How did he manage to inherit the trait he hated his father so much for? And that was the ugly, twisted root of pretty much all of his self-loathing and fear, that he turned into the man he hated _so_ goddamn much. 

Diego didn’t feel like he deserved to be close to anyone, let alone the sweet, adorable weirdo that had fallen asleep on him again. 

“So, how long have you two been together?” Hazel asked, startling Diego out of his depressing spiral. So far Hazel hadn’t spoken in hours so it was weird that he would pick that question to start up a conversation about.

“What?” Diego said, even though he’d heard perfectly fine. 

“You and the junkie, how long have you been together?” Hazel repeated.

“We’re not... We’re not together,” Diego said, feeling his cheeks get hot for being put on the spot like that. He was too far over to make eye contact in the mirror anymore, so Hazel glanced over his shoulder to give him a skeptical look. He glanced down at Diego’s hand in Klaus’ hair and then back up at his face. 

“You could have fooled me,” Hazel said, looking forward again. 

“It’s complicated, okay?” Diego said, hoping Klaus was really asleep. “What’s it to you, anyway?”

“No reason, I was just curious, relax. You guys just seem pretty tight for someone you couldn’t have known longer than a few months,” Hazel said. 

“Five days. I’ve only known him five days,” Diego said, and when he saw Hazel raise his eyebrows he continued. “But it’s been a really fucking long five days. We’ve been through a lot of shit together.”

“Right. Committing multiple murders together is an unusual bonding method, but I guess I can see that,” Hazel said, and although Diego heard no judgement in his tone it aggravated him anyway.

“Klaus didn’t kill anyone,” Diego lied, glaring at the side of Hazel’s face again. 

“Okay, but he was still your accomplice,” Hazel said with a shrug. Diego wondered if Luther sent his most annoying employee on purpose just to get under his skin. 

“He didn’t do anything wrong, okay?” Diego snapped, and then flipped the question. “And what about you? If I hadn’t killed ChaCha, would Luther have ordered you to do it?”

“Possibly, if I was the closest,” Hazel admitted freely. “It would have been an honor. Lance was a good friend of mine.”

“And how many other people has Luther ordered his thugs to take out? Is it only people that hurt his employees or is it just anyone that gets in his way?”

“Actually, this is a first that I am aware of, honestly. Luther is soft, nothing like his father. Reginald was a stone cold son of a bitch,” Hazel said, ripping open a package of cookies with his teeth and spitting the corner out of his mouth.

“But you’d still murder for him, no questions asked?” Diego pressed. “Would you be punished if you didn’t?”

“In a way, I suppose. I would be overlooked for opportunities for advancement, if nothing else,” Hazel said, then stuffed his mouth with a cookie.

“Wait, are you saying you would _kill_ someone just to advance your career?” 

“Look, clearly you have an ax or two to grind with Luther, but I think your anger is misplaced here,” Hazel said with his mouth full. He swallowed and glanced at Diego. “I’m risking my life to help you, don’t you recognize that? Or at least my freedom. If we get stopped by the police not even Luther’s good name will save _all_ of us from going to prison. So you can climb out of my ass any time now.”

“I’m supposed to believe you’re doing this for me?” Diego asked incredulously. “You’re just following orders from your boss.”

He felt Klaus poke his knee with his fingers.

“Stop it,” he whispered, and Diego had never felt more chastised by two words before. He looked down at Klaus and bit his lip. He was getting out of line again, and Hazel was right - it was misplaced anger better saved for the one who deserved it.

“Sorry,” he grumbled. It was a general apology to anyone listening, but neither Klaus or Hazel acknowledged it. 

The next couple hours were the most boring of Diego’s life, except for the days he spent in solitary staring at the same four grey walls. This was a close second though. At least while he had been driving for days he had the road to focus on, now he was understanding how Klaus felt riding with him through the most boring parts of the states they traveled through. 

It was best that he didn’t try to make conversation with Hazel, because every time he spoke Diego wanted to fight him on principle. He couldn’t talk to Klaus either for obvious reasons. He wasn’t sleeping anymore but he was in too bad of shape to feel like carrying on a conversation. The most he’d done was refuse the bottle of water Diego tried to offer him and moved to the other side of the car again. He didn’t want Diego to touch him anymore, he said everything hurt. All Diego could do was watch helplessly as Klaus succumbed further to the miserable symptoms.

He had just decided that he was about to reach over the back seat and dig around for one of the books Klaus had bought for him, until Klaus started making even more pitiful noises than before. 

“Need to pull over,” he said weakly, swallowing several times. He was sweating and hugging his arms around his stomach, head against the cool window.

“What’s wrong?” Diego asked, but he had a hunch. 

“‘M gonna puke,” he said, bringing both hands over his mouth and breathing harshly through his nose. 

“Hey, we need to pull over,” Diego called up to the front.

“We just stopped an hour ago! I still have to drive back home tonight you know, I can’t keep-” Hazel started, but Klaus began fanning his face and Diego knew it wasn’t going to be long before something came up.

“Dude, just pull over! He’s going to throw up!” Diego snapped.

“Do not throw up in this vehicle! You better just keep it in, you hear me? We’re almost there,” Hazel said loudly, stretching to try to see Klaus in the rearview mirror. Instead all he saw was Diego glaring at him again.

“Uughh,” Klaus groaned behind his hands.

“Stop the fucking car, Hazel! Jesus Christ!” Diego yelled, shoving the back of Hazel’s seat.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake! I do not get paid enough for this shit,” Hazel bitched, pulling over on the side of the road. 

They seemed to be in the middle of fucking nowhere, just dry, rocky terrain as far as the eye could see, with several mountain ranges lighting up with the deep orange glow of the evening sun on the horizon. If this wasn’t a shitty situation Diego might have actually taken the time to appreciate how pretty it was. Instead he was scrambling out of his side of the car on the shoulder of the road, intending to go around the other side and help Klaus out. 

Except Klaus saw the open door and crawled on his hands and knees across the back seat, and then stumbled out of the door before Diego even had a chance to help him. He made it about five steps and fell on all fours in the brown, dried up grass, vomiting immediately. He hadn’t eaten anything in almost 24 hours, so it was mostly just bile and painful dry heaving. Diego leaned against the car and closed his eyes, flinching every time Klaus retched.

“I can’t do this,” Klaus whined, spitting one last time in the grass and sitting back on his heels. 

Diego decided it was safe to help now, so he walked over to Klaus’ side and held out his hand. 

“Hey, let me help you up.”

“You should just leave me here to die,” Klaus whined raspy-voiced, but he still took Diego’s hand, anyway.

“You’re not going to die, and I’m definitely not leaving you here. Stand up, I got you,” Diego said, trying to gently drag Klaus to his feet while he made it as difficult as possible. They needed to get out of here though, because the putrid smell of vomit was going to make Diego throw up too. 

“I am, I’m going to die here under this pretty sunset in the Oregon desert. It’s better than dying frozen to a Philly park bench like I expected, anyway,” Klaus rambled, letting Diego walk him back to the car.

“Get up there,” Diego said, realizing that Klaus was starting to resist getting in the back seat. 

“No, Diego, I can’t do this, I have to go back,” Klaus said, trying to push past his arm. 

“Klaus, stop. You’re not going anywhere. There isn’t anything around for miles, anyway,” Diego said, starting to get irritated.

“I’ll just hitchhike. Let me go, Diego,” Klaus said, frantically trying to get Diego’s hand off him, but he was too weak to truly get away. Diego let go of his arm and gripped Klaus by the back of the neck, thumb pressing into his jaw to turn his face forward.

“Look at me, Klaus,” Diego said, trying to get Klaus to look him in the eye. “I said look at me!”

“What!” Klaus said, finally snapping his attention to Diego’s face. He visibly deflated and his eyes got tears in them.

“You’re going to get in the car and you’re going to beat this. For me, but also for yourself, okay? I know it hurts and I know it sucks, but you _have to_ do this,” Diego said pointedly, rubbing his thumb over Klaus’ newly-stubbled jaw. “Please, Klaus. Just get in. I’ve got you.”

“Tick tock, felons! I’ve got places to be!” Hazel called from the front seat, but they both ignored him. 

Klaus leaned his face into Diego’s hand for a few moments and then nodded. He turned around and crawled up on the seat and back over to his side. Diego sighed heavily and fluttered his lips, rolling his eyes at just how hard this whole thing was going to be. This was just the beginning. He expected Klaus to be fighting him tooth and nail to go find drugs by this time tomorrow, and he didn’t know how he was going to get through it. Once they both got settled, Diego decided he had some things to ask Hazel.

“Hey, so. Exactly what kind of place are you taking us to, anyway? Luther was pretty short on details,” Diego said, sitting in the middle edge of the back seat and leaning forward between the two front seats. Hazel looked down at him next to his shoulder and rolled his eyes. 

“You’ll see when you get there,” Hazel said, as unhelpful as ever. 

“No, I need to know if there’s… if there’s going to be a room that locks from the outside, preferably with no windows, or at least bars on the windows,” Diego said, looking back over his shoulder at Klaus. Diego saw him nod, already resigned to the idea that he would need to be locked up. 

“Jesus, Diego. You’re going to need to elaborate because that sounds sketchy as hell, you know that, right?” Hazel said, eyebrows raised as he glanced from Diego to the road several times.

“It’s for him. If you haven’t noticed he doesn’t just have the flu back here,” Diego said. “He’s going to get worse before he gets better, I’m afraid. So is it like, a house? Or a bunker?”

“Lord, I have so many reservations about letting you fucking street rats stay with her, but Luther’s the boss, so,” Hazel said, seemingly to himself.

“Who is she, anyway? And why is Luther protecting her?”

“I’m going to let her tell you that. But you’ll like her, she’s wonderful. And Diego, if you or your stupid junkie ever hurt her I will kill you both, with or without Luther’s blessing,” Hazel threatened. Diego had to swallow the streak of rage that shot through him. 

“You shouldn’t have anything to worry about,” Diego ground out, trying to remain calm even though he wanted to punch Hazel’s teeth down his throat for threatening Klaus’ life. “And the room?”

“I have to come back here tomorrow morning. I’ll bring you another lock for the bedroom door, but you’ll have to put it on yourself. I’m not your carpenter,” Hazel said, glancing down at Diego at his shoulder one last time. “Can you sit back? You’re giving me the creeps, man. We’ll be there in 38 minutes.”

Hazel must have made this drive plenty of times, because his time estimate was right on the dot. At exactly 7:52pm they rolled up the long, gravel and dirt driveway to a little one story house on an enormous plot of land. They had taken so many side roads that Diego would never be able to figure out how to make it back to the freeway if he tried, and the town they were in was already mostly dark and shut down for the night. The last traces of daylight were disappearing behind the distant mountains as Hazel parked the car, and Diego couldn’t wait to be out of there. His arm hurt, his legs hurt, and his ass was numb from sitting still for so long.

“Is this Shaniko?” Diego asked, feeling like he didn’t see that city name anywhere on the highway signs. 

“No, it’s Monument, Oregon. Shaniko is just where Luther wanted you to meet me, and then I would bring you here. He would never say this address over the phone,” Hazel said, pulling down the visor mirror and checking his face in the lights on either side of the mirror. 

“That’s nice,” Diego said sarcastically, shaking his head and then checking on Klaus. He had stopped talking again, his back pressed against the door and knees drawn up to his chest. “Hey, it’s time to get out.”

“My muscles feel like they are trying to snap all my bones,” Klaus said, so softly that Diego almost didn’t hear him.

“Well it looks like there will be a bedroom for us here, so you can at least get comfortable on a bed,” Diego said, getting up on his knees so he could lean over the back to grab his duffle bag. 

“I’m never going to be comfortable again, Diego,” Klaus said, letting his sweaty head thump back against the glass. “Like even when this part is over… I’m never going to be really over it. You know that, right?”

“Yes, I know how it works,” Diego said, setting the duffle bag on the floor and then leaning back over the seat to grab the other plastic bags. He had no idea how he was going to carry all this shit and get Klaus inside. He might have to make two trips because Hazel was already out of the car and up on the front porch knocking on the door, so clearly he wasn’t paid enough to be their bellhop either. “Do you think you can walk?”

“Yeah, probably,” Klaus said, but Diego wasn’t entirely convinced. He sighed and got out of the car, leaving all the bags so he could go around and at least help Klaus get upright. The gravel in the driveway was murder on his socked feet, but he perservered. He would certainly rather Klaus have his shoes, Diego would be fine treading lightly until he got inside. 

He had just opened Klaus’ door when he heard a woman’s voice coming around the front of the car.

“Hello, boys,” she said, and Diego looked around the car door to see an older white woman standing there. 

He couldn’t make out her hair color or anything in the fading light, but she looked… very nice, and not at all what Diego was expecting. She was slim and kind of bird-boned, with a warm smile and heather grey pajama pants with little pink flamingos on them. She was definitely older than Luther though, so she couldn’t have been an old girlfriend or anything. Maybe a teacher? Aunt? 

“Uh, hi,” Diego said intelligently. Klaus tried to get out himself while Diego was distracted, and he ended up falling into Diego’s chest clumsily. They both grunted and Diego did his best to catch him without reinjuring his wounded arm. Once they were both stable he cleared his throat. “I’m Diego, and… this is Klaus. He’s not feeling the best right now.”

“I’ve heard so much about you, Diego. It’s good to finally meet you,” she said, and Diego couldn’t help but frown. How would this person know anything about him? “My name is Agnes. I was Luther’s nanny for 16 years.”

The information short circuited Diego’s brain for a couple moments. He had to decide to ignore it for the time being because it brought up way too many emotions he wasn’t capable of processing at the moment. The only thing he could let himself worry about was getting Klaus in bed, and also to get Klaus to stop wrapping his arms around Diego’s waist and hugging him in front of strangers.

“Pleasure,” Diego said, trying to struggle his way out Klaus’ arms while still keeping him upright. “Hey uh, not to be a bother already, but is there somewhere I can take him? He needs to lay down like right now.”

“’m alright,” Klaus said, finally letting go of Diego and standing on his own. He took a settling breath and smiled at the lady. “Oh, Agnes, you have a lovely aura. I can’t wait to meet you when I’m not about to die.”

“Oh, well thank you, sweetheart,” she said, smiling warmly and holding out an arm. “C’mon, I’ll take you to your room.”

Diego reluctantly let Klaus pass him and walk over to Agnes. He watched her lead him back up to the house with her arm across the small of his back, and he could hear her mentioning something about hot tea with honey. At this point he was just happy that Klaus wasn’t trying to make a run for it again, for now. 

He momentarily wished he could light up a smoke before he went in, but then he remembered he was supposed to be done. Too bad, because hearing that he was about to be staying with Luther’s childhood nanny was a blow that could really use a cigarette or two to take the edge off. He let out a long, weary sigh and reached in the car to slide all the bags over to that side. 

On his way into the house he met Hazel on the porch. He had powdered sugar in his beard and Diego could smell some kind of lemony baked goods on his breath. He thought Klaus had a sweet tooth, but this dude never stopped eating sugar, it seemed. Hazel was holding a paper sack that had to be more of whatever he had been eating inside the house.

“Is that all of your shit?” Hazel asked. Diego nodded, straining from carrying everything on one side. “Good. I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Remember what I said about killing you if anything happens to her.”

“Got it,” Diego said, too tired to come up with a snappy response. What did he expect Diego to do? Knife a nice lady in flamingo pajamas in her bed? Not his style.

“And keep your junkie in line,” Hazel said, making Diego glare at him again. Could everyone stop deliberately using every shitty description to dehumanize Klaus other than his name?

“His name is Klaus, and you _know_ that,” Diego said, but his tone came out as a threat. He tried to soften his voice. “Call me whatever you want, but lay off him, alright? He’s struggling enough as it is.”

“And whose fault is that?” Hazel said rhetorically, completely unaffected by the sharp edge of Diego’s voice.

“Goodnight, Hazel. Thanks for the ride,” he said, giving him the fakest smile he could muster and moving around him to walk in the front door. 

When he walked in he wasn’t expecting… so much pink. He was too tired to register much more than it was a living room with floral furniture and doilies over end tables and a bunch of other frilly older lady junk. The stuff he was carrying was heavy and killing him, so he dropped it at the door for now, fully intending to pick it up later after he checked on Klaus. He was just realizing he didn’t know where to go next when Agnes came around a corner from an arched doorway in the middle of the living room wall across from him, carrying a cup of tea.

“Oh, it’s just down the hall there, on the right,” she said, nodding toward the hall to Diego’s left. He let her walk by first and followed her. As she entered the room she put on a cheery voice, “Here honey, I know you said you didn’t want any but I promise this ginger will help your stomach.”

Diego watched her walk between two twin beds against the left wall with matching pink and white floral comforters. She set the steaming teacup and saucer on the solid wood nightstand between the two beds, Klaus curled up on the one closest to the door. She leaned over Klaus and held her hand over his forehead, letting out a fretting mom “tsk” sound.

“He’s burning up, I’ll go get him a cold cloth,” she said, but Diego held up his hand. 

“It’s alright, I can get it. Where is the bathroom?” Diego asked, and Agnes pointed at the door to his immediate left. 

He momentarily felt dumb for not noticing the door, even though it could have easily been a closet or something. He opened it and looked inside the narrow, rectangular bathroom that ran behind the wall that the beds were up against. There was a sink at one end and a toilet at the other, and a small, rectangle window high up in the middle of the wall. Diego spotted a shelf above the toilet with various lotion bottles, a couple candles, a potted ivy plant with vines that hung over the edge of the shelf, and a stack of neatly folded pink washcloths. _Klaus is going to love it here,_ he thought to himself as he walked in and grabbed one of the washcloths off the shelf.

Diego carried the washcloth back out into the room and Agnes was just on her way out of the room. 

“If you guys don’t need anything else for now I’m going to go watch my shows while you get settled,” she said, and Diego shook his head.

“No, I think we’ll be alright for now, thank you,” he said. It annoyed him that she was so damn kind because Diego really wanted to hate her on principle, but he knew that was just more misplaced anger that he needed to work on. 

“Alright, well if you can’t sleep feel free to come watch some TV with me,” she said, closing the door behind her as she left.

“I’m dying,” Klaus whined from the bed, and Diego refocused his attention where it needed to be. He walked over between the beds and folded up the cold cloth like a bandana. 

“Maybe this will help,” he said, draping it over Klaus’ forehead. Klaus immediately reached up and pulled it down over his eyes instead. 

“I didn’t realize my eyes were so hot,” he said, pressing his fingertips into the washcloth over both eyes. “The rest of me is freezing, though.”

“That would be the fever, yeah,” Diego said, sitting down on the other bed and staring at Klaus. “Get under the covers? That might help, too.”

“Can’t, too hard,” Klaus said, swallowing hard and turning over on his side, facing Diego. His knee was still bouncing even while he was lying down, another fidgety drug withdrawal symptom. 

“You could also try that hot tea, that will warm you up inside,” Diego said, and Klaus groaned.

“No, I don’t want to puke again. I’ll be alright, Diego, you don’t have to worry about me every second,” he said. “You can’t help me be any more comfortable, unfortunately. This is just going to suck a lot until it’s over.”

“What about some pajamas? I think I still have another clean set in my bag out there,” Diego said, ignoring what Klaus said. “They would be more comfortable than jeans.”

“Maybe later. Just leave me here to die for a while,” Klaus said. Diego frowned. 

“Okay,” he said, but it was killing him to not be helpful. He could see Klaus shivering and wincing behind the washcloth as both the fever and muscle aches no doubt were gaining strength. 

“But hey, you should go ask Agnes if she has any fresh gauze for your arm. It’s probably getting yucky and you don’t want an infection,” Klaus said, then let out a loud yawn. “I’m going to try to force myself to sleep more before the insomnia creeps up on me.”

“Alright. I’ll just be in the living room so call me if you need me,” Diego said, standing up. Before he left he pulled up the soft comforter from the bed he was sitting on, then draped it over Klaus. 

“You’re so adorable, thank you,” Klaus said quietly, dragging the edge of the comforter down from his shoulder so he could nuzzle his face into it. 

As much as Diego didn’t want to ask Agnes for anything else, Klaus was right about him needing to change his bandages. He already had gauze left from the night before in his bag, but someone was going to have to help him rewrap it. Agnes certainly didn’t sign up for that shit so he was going to attempt it on his own first. Maybe it wouldn’t be as hard as trying to get his shirt on.

When he walked out into the living room Agnes set down her bowl of popcorn on an end table and turned in her armchair to look at him.

“Everything okay?” she asked, and Diego didn’t know how to answer truthfully. Nothing was okay, not by a long shot, but he knew that’s not what she meant.

“Yeah, I’m just getting some fresh clothes,” he said, walking over to the bags he dropped and bending to unzip the duffle bag. He found the wrapped up Walmart bag with the gauze in it and the almost empty bottle of alcohol, then his last clean pajama pants and t-shirt. The little baggie of pills fell out of his pants when he picked them up, so he scooped those up, too. It was already a mistake to not have flushed them already, and he didn’t want Klaus to try looking for them again. He was just about to ask if there was another bathroom when he heard a bird chirping and he thought he was losing his mind for a solid 15 seconds, until Agnes spoke.

“I said go to sleep, 'Tira,” Agnes said, seemingly to no one. When she saw the confused look on Diego’s face she pointed to the front bay window, where there were several large box-shaped figures draped in covers sitting in the window sill. “My birds know we have guests.”

“You have birds?” he said, even though he’d clearly heard one. 

“Four of them, but they should be sleeping in there,” she said, giving the cages a disapproving look, and then pointed to the loveseat. Diego couldn’t believe he didn’t notice the giant orange and white cat curled up there before this moment, sleeping on its own head. “And that’s Twinkie. He’s lazy, but he’s a good snuggler.”

“Wow, Klaus is going to love him when he feels better,” Diego said, surprised he could muster a smile at the moment. 

“You can carry him in there now, he doesn’t mind strangers,” she said. It was tempting, just to see the look on Klaus’ face when Diego laid a big, soft cat down next to him, but he had other things to do presently. 

“Maybe in a bit, but do you have another bathroom, anywhere? I have a wound that needs some attention like, immediately,” Diego said, and Agnes looked alarmed.

“You do? Why didn’t you say something? Can I help you?” she asked, getting up from her chair and sizing him up as she walked over. “Where?”

“Oh, I think I got it,” he said, but Agnes was already standing in front of him. He had never met someone so eager to help him before, and it was almost overwhelming. 

“Luther didn’t tell me you were injured. Show me, honey,” she said, and he found it hard to argue with her. His left arm was piled with the stuff he was taking into the bathroom, so he just held up his right arm to her. She figured it out and rolled up his black t-shirt sleeve herself, and Diego had to resist flinching at the touch. “Oh my goodness, did you get shot?”

“Yeah, but it could have been worse,” he said, glancing down at the white bandage with the dark brown circle of dried blood on it. “Klaus actually did a spectacular job making sure it was clean and stuff.”

“Well follow me to my bathroom and I’ll help you clean it,” she said, taking his arm and turning it gently to see the other side of the bandage with the exit wound blotch of blood.

Diego couldn’t believe he was following Agnes to the bathroom, but it was across from the guest bedroom so he quickly ducked his head in to check on Klaus. He’d fallen asleep just like he said he was going to, but Diego could still see the pile of blankets vibrating as he shivered. He shut the bedroom door and walked across the hall into the other bathroom, where Agnes was already pulling things out from under the cupboard under the sink. He noticed the huge pie piece-shaped spa bath tucked in the back right corner of the room and briefly wondered how awesome it would be to take a bath in there. He figured he would find out eventually, since he doubted there was another bathroom in this house and the other one didn’t have a shower. 

“Okay, I have whatever you need,” she said, laying out a whole bunch of first aid products on the counter next to the sink. Diego set his clothes on the other side of the counter and realized he was still holding the pills.

“Oh wait, I need to flush this shit,” he said, stepping around her to walk over to the toilet. She watched him open the baggie and pour the remaining pills in the toilet, then flush. He must have been wearing a pretty serious frown because Agnes gave him a bittersweet smile.

“He’s going to be alright, Diego,” she said, patting his elbow as he walked back to the sink.

“I know,” Diego said, his voice clipped since he really didn’t want to discuss it further. It was already weird enough to be standing in a bathroom with a stranger, let alone having a heart to heart on top of it. Instead, he rolled up his right shirt sleeve again and started to peel the medical tape off the end of the bandage. 

“Here, let me,” she said, and he let her because he knew she was going to do it anyway. He leaned his left arm on the counter and held his right arm out to her so she should unwrap it properly. It was fine until the last six inches of wrapping, where the gauze had absorbed into the scabbed over wounds. He braced himself for her to rip through it like a bandaid but she didn’t, instead guiding him to lean further over the sink. 

“Deep breath,” she said.

Agnes used her own bottle of alcohol and poured a light stream over the wound closer to the top first. It stung like she poured battery acid directly into his wound, but it had to be done. He had to hold his breath and smush his face into his left shoulder and bicep to stop himself from whining out loud. It worked to soften the scab enough to lift the gauze without causing too much more pain, but he wasn’t sure it could have hurt any worse than the alcohol, anyway. 

“One more,” she said, guiding him to lean even further over the sink to get to the back of his arm. He was ready for it this time, but he still flinched and breathed harshly out of his nose as the alcohol poured over the next area. The bandage basically fell away then, and she wrapped it up and tossed it in the trash between the counter and toilet. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, just keep going,” Diego said through clenched teeth. She didn’t seem fazed by his abrasive answer. She made quick work of unraveling the rest of the roll of gauze he’d brought in and wrapped his arm again, sealing it in place with medical tape. 

“There, you’re all set. At least it looks clean and not infected,” she said, giving him a small pat on the back, and he wished she wouldn’t. 

While he sincerely appreciated her help, he needed to get out of there now. He was feeling claustrophobic and anxious about the whole thing, like the bathroom was shrinking around him and he was stuck in there with a stranger that was way too close to him. Maybe it was getting easier to let Klaus touch him, but that did not extend to anyone else. 

“Thank you,” he said, standing up straight and pulling down the sleeve of his t-shirt. He was going to change but he decided to leave the last of his fresh clothes for Klaus, since he was already in sweatpants, anyway. Not to mention he would need more help to get a new shirt on and he had reached his limit on asking for help for one day. 

“Any time, sweetheart,” she said, and he was annoyed by her kindness again. Why couldn’t she just be a dick like Luther so it was easier to justify his bitterness? 

“I think I’m going to try to get some sleep while he’s sleeping. I’m so sorry if he gets noisy later,” Diego said, scooping up his clothes. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m a heavy sleeper, anyway,” she said, giving him one last warm smile before he backed out of the room. 

Klaus was still sleeping fitfully when Diego came back in the room, so he tried to be silent as he pulled back the top sheet on the other bed. He sat down gracefully, avoiding making the bed springs squeak, then leaned over and turned off the lamp on the table between them. Once he was settled he knew he wasn’t going to sleep - he was too anxious about literally everything, not to mention hungry, but he had to try. Diego also knew that by this time tomorrow Klaus was going to be hitting peak withdrawal and it was going to get messy and depressing. He was going to need the mental fortitude to handle it, and he couldn’t do that on another poor night’s sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so like I mentioned last week, I won't be updating for 2 weeks, but 'Book Two: The Heirophant' will be here before you know it! Whole new arc, whole different feel, so get ready to retire the violence and action and get ready for Character Development and Intimacy lol
> 
> Some things to look forward to:
> 
> \- Diego's walls coming down even further  
> \- Klaus being fucking adorable (as always!)  
> \- More history on Luther and Grace!  
> \- Healing, all kinds  
> \- Kisses!  
> \- Flowers and starry skies ^_^  
> \- Cottagecore aesthetic with Agnes!
> 
> Some other things to do while you wait an extra week:
> 
> \- I have an aesthetic blog for the story, should you feel like perusing: lawlesslovers.tumblr.com (tw: blood and drug content, obviously)  
> \- I also have a little playlist with songs that make me think of the story: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6p14RV1I36UHuKgB5gFR0y?si=3uVwWgU6T8WgCOgY2LDdxw  
> \- The only song that's like, required listening is I'll Be Good by Jaymes Young - It's Diego's song so much it hurts. Just listen. Also Dressed in Black by Sia.  
> \- Both the blog and playlist are cheesy af but just deal with it lmao
> 
> Hope to see you back here in a couple weeks! Make sure to subscribe or bookmark so you don't forget ^_^ Take care, and thank you for sticking with me this long! The fluff is coming, I promise! JUNE 5th!


	8. Book Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ♥ Book Two is here! I hope you love this one as much as The Tower!
> 
> ♥ ART BY @c0ffeebee, isn't it fucking amazing? Go tell her on tumblr!!
> 
> ♥ This book is far less dark than he first one, but it still takes a few chapters to really get out of the darkness still lingering from book one. The fluff is coming, I swear!

**THE FOOLS' JOURNEY**

**Book Two:** _The Hierophant_


	9. The Hierophant: Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (*** someone suggested there is potential eating disorder behavior in this chapter [and also the next one, as it were] and that wasn't previously tagged, so please be aware of that. That was not my intention, but I still want to warn for it in case that's a trigger for some folks. Okay, carry on! ***)

_** September 3rd, 2015, 2:31AM ** _

Somehow Diego had managed to fall asleep for a few hours but he hardly felt rested. It took his brain a few moments to catch up and realize what had woken him up. It was Klaus, still shivering and whining softly, but he was also saying words that Diego couldn’t quite make out. He had to pee anyway, so he got up and moved closer to Klaus’ bed. 

“ _No, no, no_ ,” Klaus whimpered, but Diego was pretty sure he was still sleeping. It might have been a nightmare, or maybe just his brain responding to the withdrawal even while sleeping?

“Hey,” Diego said quietly, but Klaus didn’t respond, so he was almost certainly still sleeping. 

He had moved to the edge of the bed and kicked off the covers, hugging the pillow instead of sleeping on it. Before Diego could cover him up again he had to use the bathroom, though. He maneuvered carefully over to the bathroom door in the dark, then shut himself in before feeling on the wall for the light switch. After he finished taking the longest piss ever he caught his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. 

The rest of the makeup from the day before had finally rubbed off, and he realized it had only been 24 hours since ChaCha found them. Around this time last night they were making a getaway, with Klaus losing every single one of his marbles the whole time he miraculously drove them to safety. They had both suffered so much in that small amount of time and neither of them had really had the time to process it. He leaned over the sink to cup a mouthful of water and then swished and spit. If only they hadn’t left their toothbrushes back at the motel, because he really could use it right now. 

When he walked back out Klaus had righted himself somewhat, at least he’d put the pillow back under his head. He wasn’t saying anything but Diego could tell he was awake now. The comforter had fallen off the end of the bed and Diego knew that Klaus couldn’t force himself to get it, so he walked over and picked it up.

“These beds should be on the other side of the room,” Klaus said, and Diego halted right before he unfurled the blanket back over him. 

“Uh, why?” 

“Because I could hear your entire piss through this wall,” Klaus said, sounding oddly amused given his current state. Diego tried and failed to not be embarrassed.

“Fuck, thanks, now I’m never going to use that bathroom again,” Diego said, frowning as he covered Klaus up. He was forced to have people listening to him use the toilet for eight years and that was plenty, thank you very much. 

“You heard me puke, and definitely will hear it again, it’s fine,” Klaus said, his voice starting to shake again. His momentary amusement wasn’t strong enough to stave off the symptoms for very long. “Diego, I don’t know how I’m going to survive this getting worse. Everything hurts so fucking bad.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Diego said, wishing he had any better words of encouragement. He watched Klaus shiver violently even with the comforter back over him.

“Do you think Agnes would turn on the heat?” Klaus asked, but it was already warm in there and also still the beginning of September. Nobody was going to turn the heat on that early.

“Probably not, but maybe I can help,” Diego said, and then he let himself make a move without consulting the irrational, anxious part of his mind. He picked up the corner of the comforter and sat on the edge of the bed behind Klaus, sliding down to lay behind him on his side. He folded his left arm up under his head and draped the other one over Klaus’ middle. It was a tight fit, two grown ass adults spooning on a tiny twin bed, but it worked well enough. Pressed against Diego’s chest, he could feel that Klaus was shivering even more intensely than it appeared. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, you’re like a personal furnace,” Klaus said, resting his forearm over Diego’s and lightly locking their fingers. “And here I thought you liked to be the little spoon.”

“What?” Diego asked, but as soon as he said it he remembered. After Klaus had given him the pain pill he had gotten embarrassingly needy from the horrible mix of pain, shock, fear and drugs. He had let Klaus hold him exactly like this, but most of it had been lost in the ether of repressed traumatic memory until Klaus reminded him.

“Nothing. I’m just glad you’re here this time,” Klaus said, and Diego thought it sounded like he might cry about it.

“This time?”

“This is the fourth time I’ve been through this, but I had to do it all alone the other times,” Klaus said. “This time sucks a lot more in basically every other way, though. At least in the psych ward and rehab they gave me Suboxone.”

“I actually don’t know what that is.”

“It’s medication to treat opiate addiction, like Methadone. You’re supposed to take it for a long time after you get clean, but I always ended up selling it as soon as I got out. People get addicted to that shit too, so it sells well.”

“You never thought about just continuing to use it in place of the narcotics?” Diego asked, hoping that didn’t sound accusatory. He was just curious, but every time he’d pressed Klaus for details on the subject he had gotten extremely defensive. He also wanted to know why Klaus was in the psych ward, but decided it would be rude to ask. 

“Not really. I’ve never been serious about being like, actually clean before,” Klaus said. Diego wasn’t sure how to respond, so let there be silence for a while. He hoped maybe Klaus would drift back off to sleep.

That didn’t seem to be working. Klaus’ breath hitched on every inhale and he was squirming uncomfortably against Diego as another wave of muscle aches must have rolled over him. It was kind of hurting Diego’s wounded arm to be laying it over Klaus while he was moving so much, but he pulled Klaus tighter to him, anyway. 

“Tell me about Ben, if you want to,” Diego said close to Klaus’ shoulder, hoping to distract him. He quickly added, “The good stuff.”

“I-in a min-minute,” Klaus said, his voice cut by his involuntary whimpering. Diego wished he could absorb even a tiny bit of the pain just to relieve Klaus of the full effect. It took him a few minutes to compose himself again, but Klaus managed to answer. “What do you want to know?”

“I don’t know, just whatever made you care about him above any of the other kids you stayed with,” Diego said. 

“Well he was nice to me, for starters. The other kids hated me for plenty of reasons, but Ben like, immediately accepted me as his new big brother,” Klaus said.

“How much older were you than him?”

“Only a year and a few months, but the difference between 13 and 14 is a weirdly big gap, or at least it feels that way when you jump from middle school to high school,” Klaus said, his voice was faint but Diego could tell it was grounding him a little to talk about Ben instead of about how crappy he felt. “We had nothing in common when I first met him. He was a huge nerd, quiet and well behaved. Real introverted, you know? He liked to read and write and doodle his favorite super heroes. Just this young at heart, sweet kid. And me, I was outgoing and wild, like way crazier than any teenager had the right to be - partying and sneaking out, sleeping around and stealing shit from stores just to see how much I could get away with. I’m sure you’re not surprised that I was busy being a complete degenerate in any way I could think of. But he still loved me, and he thought I was hilarious, and I loved making him laugh.” 

“That sounds really cool, honestly. I always wished I had a little brother. Instead I only had Luther and he was a shithead,” Diego said. “Thankfully he only visited a few times a year.” 

“Yeah, I got lucky with Ben, that’s for sure. He could have been mean to me and tattled on me all the time for sneaking out and shit, but he never did,” Klaus said, and Diego could hear the smile in his tone even through the pain and fever chills. “I didn’t have a normal childhood, obviously, but he tried to teach me how to do normal kid stuff that I missed out on. We made blanket forts and had all night movie marathons and he let me paint his nails, even though he made me take it off immediately after just in case his parents would disapprove.”

“Were his parents shitty to you?” Diego asked, hoping it wasn’t a sensitive subject. 

“In retrospect, not at all. They just wanted me to fucking chill and actually complete some homework assignments once in a while, but I was too blinded by teenage rebellion to see that at the time,” Klaus said, letting out a long sigh. “But even then, I still tried to keep all my reckless activity away from the house out of respect, because deep down I knew they were like, pretty decent people. They tried really hard to be patient with me because they knew I had been labeled as a ‘troubled’ kid before I even got there. They thought they were up to the challenge, as if the foster parents before them just didn’t know how to be good parents and they could do it better. But I was never going to fit into a nice, neat box like Ben, so their patience wore thin and...”

“And what? You don’t have to tell me, but I’m listening,” Diego said, and he got the impression that he was about to hear something fucked up.

“On Ben’s 15th birthday I had the brilliant idea to get him drunk. We were hanging out in the garage with coats and blankets, because it was winter, and I brought out a bottle of Captain Morgan and convinced him to try some rum and coke. Well, he liked it, so we got tipsy and got a little too loud, I guess. His mom came out and we got busted, but…” Klaus said, pausing for a few moments. Diego was listening with rapt attention, because there was no way this didn’t end badly. “Ben got grounded indefinitely and I got… well, they wanted to kick me out. It was the final straw. I was corrupting their good kid with my delinquency.”

“God, that’s such bullshit, Klaus. I’m so sorry. Tons of teenagers get up to that kind of stuff, you weren’t ruining his whole life by sneaking him some rum one time,” Diego said, feeling defensive on behalf of 16 year old Klaus.”Why do you think Ben wouldn’t want to talk to you anymore? Just because you got him grounded?”

“No, Diego…” Klaus whispered, and then he didn’t say anything for a couple minutes. Diego didn’t know how to fill the silence, and he had no idea what Klaus was going to say next, or if he was even going to tell him what happened. “When… when they told me they were sending me back I… I had a nervous breakdown, basically. I was so fucking terrified that the next family would be super fucked up like the one before Ben’s family. I couldn’t go back to another place like that, I would rather die. I begged them to keep me, I promised to be good and do everything they said, but I guess the damage was done. So the next morning I skipped school and hid in the bathroom and… I cut my wrists with a razorblade.”

Diego couldn’t stop his gasp or the soft _‘oh my god_ ’ from escaping. He reached his arm up to rest his hand over Klaus’ chest and hugged him closer, his forehead pressed into the nape of Klaus’ neck. He hadn’t had any particular scenario in his head about how it happened when he first saw Klaus’ scars, but this was certainly not the way he would have expected. 

“Ben was supposed to be at school. He wasn’t supposed to see it. He wasn’t _supposed_ to be fucking home, but I guess there was a big snowstorm coming so they sent the kids home early. He knew I didn’t go to school so he came upstairs looking for me,” Klaus said in a bit of a rush, like he couldn’t stop telling it now that he started even though it was clearly a fucking _awful_ memory. Diego was torn between being horrified but also glad he finally understood how it happened. “That’s why the other wrist has a shorter scar, because he came in the bathroom. And then by that time I was already dizzy and blacking out, and all I could hear was him screaming for his mom… Then I woke up in the hospital, and I literally never saw any of them again. They didn’t even check on me after the ambulance picked me up.”

“Klaus… God, I can’t even imagine how horrible that was,” Diego said, feeling a little choked up. He heard Klaus sniff loudly and then he lifted his hand to wipe his eyes. “But listen, Ben doesn’t hate you for that, I can pretty much guarantee it. If you guys were as close as he said, I’m sure he understood, at least as he got older.”

“No, I don’t think so. There was so much fucking blood, Diego. I’m certain that he could never forget it, not to mention he looked up to me and I did that shit right in front of him. I broke that family, like I break everything,” Klaus said, his voice cracking in a way that made it hard for Diego to not cry with him, even though he didn’t even know these people. This is absolutely not how he’d seen the conversation going when he’d asked about Ben, and he had no idea how to steer it back to something positive. Maybe there was nothing positive to say.

“Me too,” he said, because it was the truthful response. He felt that sentiment deeply. Everything he touched turned to shit or misery.

“Can we not talk for a while? I just need to be brain dead right now,” Klaus said. "Please don't leave, though."

“Sure, of course. You never have to convince me to stop talking,” Diego said, nuzzling his nose back into the soft hair at the nape of Klaus’ neck since he decided he liked it there. He wasn’t sure when this amount of intimacy became tolerable, but he wasn’t sorry about it. Even though everything around them was beyond fucked up, he liked holding Klaus against himself, even while he was a sweaty, shaking mess. 

Diego may have dozed off for a while in the extended silence, because he was startled back to consciousness by Klaus wiggling out from under his arm and dashing off the bed. He didn’t need to ask what was wrong because he already knew. Moments later his theory was confirmed as he heard Klaus throwing up through the wall. He sat up and squinted at the analog clock on the wall, reading 4:28 and he realized he had dozed off longer than he’d thought. Not that it helped him feel better - he was still exhausted and starving and sore and overwhelmed in basically every way. 

He hadn’t mentioned it to Klaus yet, but Diego was also starting to worry that he had actual nerve damage through his arm. He hadn’t been able to feel most of his fingertips on his right hand since yesterday morning, other than vague pins and needles, and certain patches of his arm felt the same way. It was getting to be too long to just be from the initial wound so it was the only explanation, and it was terrifying. Sure, things could be worse, he could be dead, but he still didn’t want to lose feeling in his fingers.

Once Diego woke up for a while longer, he decided that Klaus was going to need some water or something to wash his mouth out. He didn’t remember seeing any Dixie cups in either of the bathrooms, so he hoped Agnes wouldn’t mind Diego going into the kitchen to find a glass. Klaus was going to be preoccupied for a few minutes anyway, so Diego got up, stretched and left the room. He followed the hallway back to the livingroom and took a left through the archway across the room from the front door. Last night he’d noticed that it seemed to be a dark kitchen when Agnes came out carrying the tea, and when he turned on the light he found out he was right. 

It was… kind of adorable. The walls were painted a sunny yellow, the floors were a dark brown wood, the cupboards were a similar dark brown, and the window over the kitchen sink had white, lacy curtains with embroidered sunflowers on them. The jars on the counter were white with sunflowers too, set neatly side by side from biggest to smallest like a nesting doll. It also appeared to be the back door entrance next to the counter on the back wall, which had a frosted, stained glass sunflower window pane set in it. Next to the door was a big window that looked into the back yard, but it was still pitch black out so Diego couldn’t make out much beyond his own reflection in the glass. In front of the window was a small, white wicker table with a glass top and a single matching wicker chair pushed under it. So far it was the only room that wasn’t some shade of pink, and yet it still had the same sweet, quaint vibe that the rest of the house did. 

Diego picked the cupboard that seemed the most likely to have glasses in it, and he guessed right. He picked out a translucent blue plastic cup instead of a glass, just in case Klaus accidentally knocked it over, and filled it with cold water from the tap. He already knew Klaus was going to complain about it, but Diego was going to bring it to him anyway. 

“Good morning,” Agnes said from the archway behind him. Diego nearly hit the ceiling from hearing her unexpected voice, but somehow managed to not spill a drop. He whirled around and blinked at Agnes standing in the doorway.

“Hey, I hope we didn’t wake you,” he said, then quickly added, “Sorry I came in here without asking.”

“Oh, you’re fine, sweetheart. I’m usually awake by 5am anyway, and my house is your house while you’re here,” she said, smiling and waving off his apology. Diego decided to believe her since older people usually woke up at ass o’clock in the morning for no reason, anyway. “Are you hungry?”

“No, I’m alright, thanks,” he said, and his stomach grumbled at him like a shin kick under the table. He was starving, but he didn’t want Agnes to have to do anything for him, and he was really too concerned about Klaus to eat, anyway.

“Alright, well I’m going to put on some coffee, if you’re interested in that,” she said, walking toward another cupboard and pulling down a coffee filter and a bag of coffee. 

“Actually that sounds great, thank you. I’ll be back in a bit,” he said, conceding to at least allow himself some coffee. She was making it for herself anyway and he needed the caffeine to get his brain to kick on. Any other day he would have started the morning with coffee and a cigarette, but that was going to have to change. 

Klaus was still in the bathroom when he returned, but Diego couldn’t hear anything happening in there. He knocked lightly on the door. 

“Hey, are you alright?” he asked, but got no response. “I brought you a drink in case your mouth tastes gross.”

He heard the toilet flush and Klaus washing his hands before the door opened. Diego stepped back to let him pass, chastising himself for hovering at the door like a creep in the first place. Klaus patted Diego’s chest as he walked by, but didn’t speak and he ignored the cup of water in Diego’s hand. He picked up the comforter, wrapped it around himself like a hooded cloak and curled back up on the bed. Diego noticed he left no room to be held again, and figured that meant Klaus wanted to be left alone. 

“Please drink this, it’s cold. You need to stay hydrated, especially if you’re throwing everything up,” Diego said, walking around the bed and setting the cup next to the tea that Klaus also didn’t drink. No response. Diego sighed as he picked up the saucer with the full tea cup on it, gave Klaus one last concerned frown and walked out of the room. 

“Cream or sugar?” Agnes asked the moment Diego returned to the kitchen. She was standing in front of the fridge with the door open, holding up a small pitcher of fresh cream.

“Just black, thanks,” he said, also noticing that she had brought in a wooden chair from the dining room for him to sit with her at the wicker table. He was in no mood to sit down and have a chat with her, but he didn’t really have a way out of it without blatantly ignoring her. He sat down and stared out of the window, realizing that it didn’t look out into the back yard as he’d thought earlier, but into an enclosed back porch that looked like it was added on after the original house was built. 

After some clinking of dishes Agnes returned to the table. She was carrying two empty mugs under her arm, a coffee carafe and a plate of lemon bars, all of which she set on the table in front of them.

“I know these aren’t breakfast, but you’re welcome to have as many as you want. I made them for Hazel, but I have way too many left over,” she said, then poured them each a cup of coffee from the carafe before sitting down.

“Thank you, but I’m not really a lemon guy,” he said, but he was mostly busy wondering just how often she made baked goods for Luther’s security guys. “How long have you known Hazel?”

“Oh, a few years,” she said, pulling her cup of coffee toward herself and smiling at him. “When Luther took over the company he sent him to check on me. Now he just visits and brings me stuff I can’t buy at the grocery store in town.”

“How long have you lived here?” Diego asked. He could feel himself wanting to grill her the same way he’d done Hazel, but he couldn’t do that. _Just have a fucking normal conversation for once, Diego,_ he told himself. 

“About six years, since my husband passed,” she said, her smile falling only slightly. 

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” Diego said, already feeling awkward.

“It’s fine, dear. We all told him his drinking would kill him, and of course it did in the end,” she said, and Diego wondered how this got so dark so fast. “But his job was stressful, and we were both gone six days a week, so it put a strain on him.”

“Did he work for Luther’s dad?”

“Yes, for 25 years. He was in charge of securing property for the company’s expansion. It got messy sometimes,” she said, then looked away as she took a sip of coffee. Diego had never had to hold his tongue harder, because now he had even more questions. Luckily something else occurred to him instead.

“Oh shit, I never called Luther when I got here last night,” he said, scanning the room for a phone. 

“Hazel called him when he came in before you, all is well. You just have to call him if you need anything important. He’s a very busy man now, you know.”

“I bet,” Diego said, and he must have been wearing his disdain on his sleeve because Agnes chuckled. 

“You boys still hate each other?” she asked, as if she’d heard all about it before. Diego stared at her over the edge of his mug as he took a sip of coffee. He didn’t know what to say to that, because if he said yes while Luther was helping save his ass from going to prison, he would look like the asshole here.

“How much do you know about me, exactly?” he asked instead. She laughed.

“I’ve been listening to Luther talk about you for a very long time, honey,” Agnes said, then set down her mug. “I know that what he did to you was wrong, and I don’t blame you for hating him… but I hope you know he had his reasons at the time.”

“I would love to hear them,” Diego said, barely containing his biting sarcasm. He wasn’t in the mood to have any conversation, let alone sit and listen to Agnes make excuses for Luther’s decision to ruin both Diego and Grace’s lives. He would rather sit in the bedroom and listen to Klaus dry heave endlessly for the next week, but at the same time he was deadly curious what else she would say.

“That’s something I think he should explain to you himself,” she said, then quickly continued. “But I will say that he’s been under Reginald’s thumb for his entire life, even now. He never got to make his own choices really, and when he does, a lot of times they are still clouded by the things Reginald put in his head.”

“And what did Reginald have to do with Luther choosing to not protect his own mother?” Diego asked, feeling his temper trying to flare just from mentioning the topic.

“Diego, you have to remember that he didn’t have the relationship with Grace that you got to have. She left when he was just barely a toddler,” she explained, but it did nothing to ease Diego’s mind.

“He didn’t want a relationship with her. My mom tried so hard to love him and he still resented her,” Diego said, setting his mug down with a noisy clink on the glass table. “Not to mention, you shouldn’t need to be emotionally bonded with a woman to want to save her from domestic abuse. Luther knew what my dad was doing to both of us and he chose to say nothing. Any _‘reasons’_ he may have are bullshit, I’m sorry to tell you.”

“I know you’re right, honey, and I’m not defending that choice,” Agnes started, but Diego interrupted her.

“Funny, because it sounds like you are,” he snapped, folding his arms defiantly. He knew if Klaus were in the room he would be scolding Diego for getting lippy with the nice lady, but he wasn’t there, and Diego had a bone to pick, damn it. The look on her face reeled him back in a bit, though. Of course she was going to defend Luther, what did he expect, really?

“Nothing is ever as easy as it seems. But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry about what happened to your family, Diego,” she said, her smile completely gone now. “You and Grace deserved better.”

“Yeah, we did,” Diego said with a solemn nod. He’d been so focused on Agnes that it took him until then to realize the annoying sound in the background was noisy tweeting from the living room.

“Sorry, I’ll be back in a minute. They know it’s about to be sunrise,” she said, standing up and leaving the room. Diego was feeling moodier than ever, so he sipped his coffee and glared at the glass top table until she came back a few minutes later. He watched her walk back in carrying four tiny birds, two on each hand. “They want to be in the sunroom. I bring them in there every morning around this time.”

“Finches?” he asked, even though he didn’t care. Birds barely even registered in his mind as animals, let alone pets. 

“Yes. Zebra finches,” she said, walking to the back door and turning the knob carefully. The birds seemed to be used to this, and they walked around her hand to stay upright as she opened the door. As soon as it opened they all flew off her hands into the dark back porch to land on various perches as they waited for the sunrise. Agnes told them she would be out in a while and shut the door. 

“They don’t poop on stuff while they fly around?” Diego asked, internally cringing at the thought of birds just flying around wherever they wanted.

“Not usually, unless I accidentally leave their cages closed while they are out. They know where to go,” she said, taking her seat at the table again. Diego finished his last sip of coffee and stretched, then flinched as he lifted his sore arm too high. Agnes noticed. “Oh you poor thing, hold on.”

She got back up and walked through the archway into the dining room and then through a door on the other side of that room. Diego leaned in his chair to watch her open some cupboards over a washer and dryer. Once she found what she was looking for she walked back, unwinding the strap of a black arm sling. 

“Here, this should help take some of the strain off,” she said, loosening the strap to fit a bigger person. “I tripped in my garden last summer and had to wear it for a while. It’s clean, though.”

“Oh, thank you,” he said, wishing she would stop being such a nice person all the time. He wanted to refuse the help, but he’d also been wishing he had one of these since the previous morning. When Agnes tried to help him put it on he held up his hand. “It’s okay, I got this part.”

“Alright well, if you don’t need me for anything I’m going to go change and stuff,” she said, then finished her coffee and set the cup on the table.

“I’m all set,” he said, standing up and picking up both mugs to carry them to the sink.

He washed the mugs and set them in the dish strainer, then headed to the living room. Maybe he would read to distract himself from the dark thoughts trying to take over his mind. Normally he would work out, but he didn’t want to fuck up his arm when it had just started to heal, so he picked up the plastic bags with his good arm, and kicked his duffle bag down the hall in front of him until he made it to the guest bedroom. He didn’t remember leaving the door open, but maybe Agnes poked her head in before she went to her bedroom.

“Diego, look,” Klaus said as soon as he walked in. Klaus was curled up on his bed, wrapped around the big orange and white cat he’d seen last night. 

“I figured he would find you eventually,” Diego said, smiling in spite of his general bad mood. 

“I love him,” Klaus said, holding the cat against his chest like a teddy bear and kissing the top of his head. Agnes wasn’t kidding, he was a really tolerant, snuggly cat. Diego could hear him purring loudly from the doorway. “What a good doctor, coming in to check on me. I’m sorry Diego, you’ve been replaced.”

“I can see that,” Diego said, kicking the duffle bag further into the room and setting the other bags on his bed. He dug around until he found one of the paperbacks and walked around to the side of the bed and sat down with his back against the wooden headboard. 

“I think I also heard birds in here, but that might have been outside. Or I could have been hallucinating, who knows,” Klaus said. Diego stared at Klaus’ back facing him and saw his shirt was drenched in sweat in a wide V shape from his shoulders down to the middle of his back. He figured Klaus felt worse than he was acting, momentarily distracted by the cat just enough to ignore it. 

“You weren’t hallucinating. This lady has a bunch of birds too,” Diego said, frowning as he realized it was going to be annoying to turn the pages of his book one handed.

“I love them already, too. I wonder what their names are,” Klaus said, leaning back enough to look over his shoulder. “Oh sorry, I didn’t know you were reading. Ignore me.”

“No, you’re fine. If you feel like talking, I’m listening,” Diego said, but Klaus shook his head and turned back over to hug the cat. “The cat’s name is Twinkie, by the way.”

“I know, it’s on his collar. It’s a good name. He’s a big cream puff,” he said. Diego was just glad at least something was making Klaus feel better. 

They were both quiet for a while; Diego reading a book that he couldn’t really focus on, and Klaus still shivering and whining softly to himself. It was hard to ignore, especially when Klaus shot out of bed and staggered to the bathroom to throw up again. It was all very gross, but so far Klaus was doing… okay. He wasn’t trying to make a run for it, he wasn’t rifling through Diego’s bag looking for the rest of the pills - he was just suffering as quietly as he could. If this was as bad as it got, Diego could handle that, but he also knew the third day was usually the peak of the symptoms, and it had barely been more than 24 hours at this point.

When Klaus came out of the bathroom Diego immediately set his book down, because he had tears streaming down his face and he looked like he felt worse than ever. He was about to ask what was wrong, but Klaus made a beeline for Diego’s bed instead of his own. The cat had curled up in Klaus’ space, anyway.

“Move over,” he said, not giving Diego a choice - not that he would have refused anyway. He moved as far over as he could and lifted his arm in the sling enough for Klaus to crawl into bed and tuck himself up under his arm. Diego rested his right arm over Klaus’ shoulders and he could immediately feel the wet spots form on his shirt from Klaus pressing his tear-streaked face into his chest. 

“Did something new happen?” Diego asked.

“Just depression,” Klaus whispered, wrapping his arm around Diego’s middle and clinging to him for dear life.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Klaus didn’t respond, which was a good enough answer. Diego wasn’t sure if Klaus was going to sleep or not, but he picked up his book to read quietly, anyway. He still couldn’t focus on the words with Klaus sniffling to himself as he cried through whatever was making him sad. He read the same sentence at least four times before Klaus spoke again.

“You should read to me,” he said, and Diego looked down at the top of his head with a frown.

“Why?”

“Because I like listening to people read,” Klaus said softly. 

“Do you even know what this book is about?” Diego asked. He despised reading out loud, like more than anything else that ever happened in school. When he was younger he had an embarrassing-as-fuck stutter and the other kids in class would giggle at him while he stumbled over his words. He wasn’t even sure it wouldn’t still happen, even though he’d pretty much beaten it when he was just speaking normally. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Klaus said, shrugging the shoulder with Diego’s hand over it. “Ben used to read to me when I couldn’t sleep, or when I didn’t feel good and it always made me feel better. Please?”

Diego sighed and stared at the ceiling. How the hell could he say no to that now? He just happened to glance at the bedside table and he had an idea. 

“Sure, I’ll read to you if you finish that cup of water over there,” he said, not surprised in the least when Klaus groaned.

“For fucks sake, this again?”

“Yes. Those are my terms. I hate reading out loud, you hate drinking water, so we compromise,” Diego said, squeezing Klaus’ shoulder lightly. “C’mon, sit up and drink it and I’ll read to you as long as you want.”

“Ugh, fine!” Klaus said, wiping tears off his face and sitting up. He grabbed the blue plastic cup of water and stared down into it. “What if there’s dust in it?”

“ _Dust?_ Klaus, I literally watched you try to smoke a stranger’s cigarette butt out of a dirty ashtray. Just drink the water or you’re going to feel even worse than you already do,” Diego said. He actually had to hold in a laugh when Klaus frowned at him like a grumpy toddler and finally chugged the entire glass. He slammed the cup back on the table with a grimace and then returned to his space under Diego’s arm. When Diego didn’t start reading immediately Klaus tapped the book resting on his thigh impatiently. 

“Okay, I drank it, you can read now,” he said, stifling a yawn behind his hand. Diego couldn’t believe how much he adored Klaus even when he was being forced to do something he hated. He sighed and picked up the book, deciding to just pick up right where he left off with the sentence he’d never comprehended. 

_“When extraordinary facts attest an eminent genius, what is more contrary to good sense than to ascribe to him all the passions and sentiments of mediocrity? What more erroneous than not to recognise the pre-eminence of those privileged beings who appear in history from time to time like luminous beacons, dissipating the darkness of their epoch, and throwing light into the future?”_ Diego read, and Klaus interrupted him.

“ _What?_ Okay what the fuck are you reading, anyway? Some philosophy shit? Do you actually enjoy this?”

“A biography about Julius Caesar,” Diego said, chuckling to himself because he knew Klaus would react that way. “It’s not about enjoying, it’s about learning something.”

“God, you are _such_ a nerd,” Klaus said with a soft snort. “Okay sorry, continue.”

“I can read you the Stephen King book if you go get it. But one of the characters is a heroin addict, so that might be uh, triggering or something,” Diego said.

“No, this is fine, just read,” Klaus said, so Diego did.

“ _To deny this pre-eminence would, indeed, be to insult humanity, by believing it capable of submitting, long and voluntarily, to a domination which did not rest on true greatness and incontestable utility. Let us be logical, and we shall be just,_ ” he read, and continued for several more paragraphs. 

It ended up being easier than he thought to read out loud, and he actually started to enjoy himself even if Klaus wasn’t actually absorbing anything he was saying. It was oddly calming to hold Klaus under his arm and read as he mindlessly stroked his mostly-numb fingertips over Klaus’ shoulder. 

“You should do audiobook readings, your voice is soothing,” Klaus said just as Diego paused between paragraphs. “Even though what you’re reading is the most boring thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life.”

“That was just the preface,” Diego said.

“Jesus Christ,” Klaus said, making Diego laugh again. “Who wrote this book, anyway?”

“Napoleon Bonaparte, in 1815,” Diego said. “While he was exiled by the British on Saint Helena island.”

“Was he exiled for being boring?”

“Uh no, not exactly. Did you ever pay attention in history class?”

“Absolutely fucking not,” Klaus said. “I had better things to do in high school.”

“Right. Because you weren’t a nerd,” Diego said, setting the book down. His hand was cramping from holding it up, and Klaus wasn’t listening anymore, anyway. He seemed to be struggling with pain again even though he was still making jokes. 

“No, I wasn’t. I like that you are, though. But like, a secret nerd,” he said. Before Diego could respond Klaus wiggled out from under his arm and scrambled off the bed, running for the bathroom again.

The rest of the morning was spent the same way - Diego reading to Klaus in between nausea spells, and Agnes interrupting once to ask if they wanted her to make something for brunch. They both had told her no thank you, but by noon he could smell bacon cooking in the kitchen all the way into the bedroom. 

As if he could also smell the bacon cooking, Hazel showed up just a little after noon. Klaus had taken a turn for the worse by then, choosing to lie in his own bed instead of with Diego after the most recent nausea attack. It was just as well, because Diego needed to talk to Hazel, anyway. 

“I’ll just be around the corner if you need me,” Diego said, standing up from his bed and picking up Klaus’ empty water cup.

“Okay,” Klaus whispered pitifully. Diego knew he probably wouldn’t sleep again for… _days,_ most likely, and it was not going to be a good time. 

The door snapped behind Diego as he left the room, then he crossed the hall to use the other bathroom. There was still no way he was using the one in the guest room now that he knew how paper thin the walls were. This one had two doors, one to the hall and the other he assumed led into Agnes’ room. He locked both doors and hoped Agnes wouldn’t think it was rude for him to use this one instead.

“Everything alright, dear?” Agnes said as soon as Diego made his way into the kitchen. Her and Hazel were sitting at the wicker table having BLT sandwiches, and Hazel didn’t even look up when he entered the room. 

“As well as it can be,” he said, walking over to the sink to fill Klaus’ cup again.

“Okay, well help yourself to some food. The bacon on the stove should still be warm,” she said. Diego’s stomach had been growling since the moment he smelled it cooking, but he ignored it. 

“I’m alright,” he said, setting the cup on the counter and folding his arms.

“Diego, you can’t help him if you’re starving,” Agnes said, giving him a sympathetic look. 

“I’m good, I swear,” he lied. “Thank you, though.”

“Well, if you change your mind you’re welcome to anything in my kitchen,” she said. He could only see the back of Hazel’s head but Diego could tell he was rolling his eyes because Agnes frowned at him. Hazel cleared his throat.

“I was going to bring that new doorknob, but then it occurred to me that you can just turn the one that’s on there around,” Hazel said, wiping his mouth on a cloth napkin and standing up. “I did bring you a screwdriver, though.”

“Oh, I guess that works,” he said, feeling stupid for not thinking of that himself. In his own defense, home improvement type stuff had never been a thing he’d had to worry about before. There was still the bedroom window to worry about, but he would have to figure out what to do about that by himself because he certainly wasn’t asking Hazel for anything else. 

“Here,” Hazel said, picking up a plastic bag he’d set on the floor by the table. “There’s also a bunch of toiletries in there. I assume you left a lot of that stuff in the other motel.”

“Y-yeah, we did,” Diego said, raising his eyebrows as Hazel handed him the bag. He would have never expected Hazel to think of that, or even think of them at all outside of the orders he’d gotten from Luther. Diego looked in the bag and saw new toothbrushes, deodorant, dental floss, a couple travel sized bottles of shampoo and shaving cream, a few more nicotine patches for Klaus, a package of disposable razors and a Phillips screwdriver. He was torn between gratitude and being overwhelmed by all the help these people were offering him. He shoved out an awkward ‘thank you’ and set the bag on the counter.

“Luther wanted me to tell you that your credit card was used to reserve a room in Utah, so the cops are going to think you went that way. And also that he’s mad at you for not telling him your, uh - _friend_ is a junkie on top of everything else,” Hazel said, and just like that Diego was in a bad mood again.

“Well I didn’t tell him, so I assume you must have. Thanks for that,” Diego said, doing his level best to keep his face neutral. Agnes was looking back and forth between them nervously, like she could tell the two of them were always moments from violence, even though this was the first time she’d seen them together.

“Just doing my job,” Hazel said, sitting back down at the table to finish his sandwich. Diego glared at the back of his head for a few more seconds, then rearranged his face to address Agnes. 

“Hey Agnes, do you happen to have any books?” he asked, and she lit up just at the opportunity to be helpful. 

“I do! There is a bookshelf in the sunroom, please help yourself to whatever you want,” she said, gesturing to the back door. Diego nodded and walked around the counter to the door, and then halted.

“Wait, are your birds still out there?” he asked, feeling dumb for the rise in his blood pressure just at the concept of being in an enclosed room with loose birds. _What a fucking wuss,_ he thought. He’d gone toe to toe with dozens of murderers and rapists in prison, but here he was afraid of a few little finches swooping around his head. Ridiculous. 

“They are, but you won’t bother them,” she said, as if he was worried about _him_ bothering _them._

“It’s alright, I’ll come back later. I’m going to go get this doorknob flipped,” he said, picking up the plastic bag and the cup of water for Klaus from the counter, then left the room in a big hurry.

Diego hadn’t considered that the hardest part of switching the doorknob would be to have Klaus watch him do it. He was still curled up on his bed, arms wrapped around the pillow and knees drawn up under it. Diego could feel his eyes on him while he kneeled on the floor and took apart the knob, and it was making his hand shake around the screwdriver. Locking Klaus in this room was the last thing he wanted to do, and he hoped it wouldn’t come to that, but they had to be prepared. He made the mistake of glancing at Klaus, his eyes open but emotionless as he watched Diego work. 

“I’m so sorry,” Diego said, setting the screwdriver down and shaking his head. “I don’t want to do this to you at all.”

“Just do it,” Klaus said, his voice just as vacant as his expression.

“Maybe it won’t come to that,” Diego said, knowing it was false hope.

“It will. I’ve already thought about bolting at least 100 times in the last hour. Don’t get soft on me now,” Klaus said, closing his eyes. 

Diego could hear how worn out he was, but knew he wouldn’t sleep. He sighed and took off his sling so he could continue working. He was going to need both hands to finish this job, arm pain be damned. 

The door was almost put back together when the room suddenly got a lot darker. Diego looked over at the window and beyond the sheer, white curtains he could see… nothing. He got up to investigate, limping slightly on a leg that had gone to sleep. Upon closer inspection he could see that a rectangular piece of plywood had been placed over the window, and a few seconds later he jumped at the sudden, shrill sound of a drill and then metal grinding through wood. The only explanation was that Hazel was outside putting up the wood and fastening it to the window frame with screws.

“What’s happening?” Klaus asked, rolling over and sitting up.

“I think Hazel is securing the window so you don’t leave that way,” Diego said, turning just in time to see Klaus frown. 

“I’m sorry this has become everyone else’s problem, too,” he said, looking miserable and guilty. 

“It’s okay, Klaus. Everyone just wants you to get better. It’s only temporary,” Diego said, crossing the room again to finish the door. He only had to tighten the screws and test it out.

The rest of the day had passed so fucking slowly, Diego couldn’t even imagine how he was going to handle it for several more days. Hazel had hassled him about having to do more shit for ‘the junkie’ and Agnes offered him food at least five more times. Klaus was getting worse, he didn’t even want Diego to touch him anymore. Agnes never put the birds away, but she did bring him a stack of books she thought he might like. He read Peter Pan out loud to Klaus for an hour or so, but he was in too bad of shape to pay attention in the slightest. He’d hardly left the bathroom in the last hour, and Diego was starting to feel like shit, too. He was stiff, bored, depressed, exhausted - and he had no way to fix any of these things. 

It was impossible to chase away his dark thoughts when all he had to do was stare at the wall for the last eight hours. He had almost convinced himself this was all for nothing, that they would eventually be caught and thrown in prison for life, or that Luther was going to change his mind about helping them now that he knew more about Klaus. He’d contemplated the bloody, violent murders he’d been a part of in the last week and wondered if maybe he _deserved_ prison, afterall. He had also considered the likely possibility that Klaus was going to start using again the moment they got to a city where he could find a source. He’d gone over all the reasons why their developing relationship was a fucking horrible idea, too, and how he was stupid to ever think he could have that with anyone. 

At least all the days before this one he’d had Klaus to distract him from his own twisted headspace by being weird and funny and cute all the time - now that was gone, and he was just another thing weighing on Diego’s mind. Agnes’ house was nice, she was as welcoming and hospitable as was possible, but Diego hadn’t felt this trapped since before he’d gotten out of the pen back in June. How did he manage to screw his life up this badly _again_ in only a few short months?

It was just past 9pm, and Klaus wasn’t leaving the bathroom anytime soon. Diego had watched him take his pillow in there the last time, so he must have just decided to lay on the floor to avoid having to make the mad dash every time he felt sick. All Diego could do was sit by and helplessly listen to him puke and moan, or go sit in the living room with Agnes while she watched her night time television. He decided the latter would be better, at least until he could try to fall asleep.

“Everything okay?” Agnes asked as she noticed him walk into the room. She was sitting in her armchair in her pajamas, bowl of popcorn in her lap, just like last night. Diego could tell she had a daily routine down, and he wondered how she didn’t go insane being so isolated in this house. 

“About the same,” he said, because he figured she was asking about Klaus. She nodded.

He walked over to the loveseat and picked up Twinkie so he could sit down with his legs stretched out along the cushions, his back against the arm rest. He set the cat on his lap and gave him some pets, even though he wasn’t much of a cat person. Twinkie purred with enthusiasm and rubbed his face against Diego’s hand, and he had to admit this was a pretty okay cat, as far as cats go.

“Do you want to watch anything special? I have some movie channels,” Agnes said, offering him the remote. He shook his head and tried to focus on what she was watching. It appeared to be a Christmas movie on the Hallmark channel, even though it was only September. “Are you sure I can’t get you anything to eat? I know you’re upset, but-”

“Agnes, I’m okay, I promise,” he said, and it was actually true this time. He’d gone so long without eating anything now that he just… wasn’t hungry anymore. Everything else he was feeling had taken precedence.

“Why are you torturing yourself, honey? That’s not going to make him get better any faster,” she said, and he just didn’t have the mental capacity for it at the moment. He ignored her, and he heard her sigh to herself. He felt bad about causing her grief, but really, it wasn’t her business, anyway. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Another update 6/12!


	10. The Hierophant: Eight

_** September 4th, 2015, 12:13AM ** _

Apparently he’d dozed off for a while because he was rudely awakened by Twinkie hopping off his lap, his heavy back feet kicking Diego in the junk as he launched himself off. He lost all respect for cats again, but he instantly forgot about it as his eyes adjusted to the darkness and he saw Klaus standing by the front door. Agnes must have gone to bed quiet as a mouse, because he hadn’t heard any of it. 

“What are you doing?” Diego asked, and he saw Klaus jump and look toward him. 

“Uh- nothing. I was j-just going to go have a smoke,” Klaus said hoarsely. Diego realized he’d never given Klaus one of the fresh patches earlier and he was probably not lying about needing a cigarette. However, he still doubted that was the reason he was standing at the door. 

“I’ll come with you,” Diego said, standing up and turning on the lamp on the end table. His heart started to race, he already knew this was going to be rough. 

“N-no, it’s okay, I can go alone,” Klaus said, avoiding eye contact. Diego realized he wasn’t even holding the pack of smokes or a lighter. He was going to leave. 

“Why don’t you go back to the bedroom, Hazel left you some more of the patches,” Diego said, trying to be careful to not accuse him of anything just yet. Klaus crossed his arms over his middle self consciously and stared at the ceiling.

“I can’t,” he said weakly, shaking his head. “I can’t go back in there.”

“Just for a minute, then we can sit out here and you can talk to the birds. I’m sure Agnes wouldn’t mind if we take the covers off for a while,” Diego tried to bargain, but he knew it was useless. Plus, he wasn’t going to let Klaus leave that room once he went back in, anyway. It was time. 

“No, Diego, I can’t be here anymore. I’m just ruining everyone’s lives,” he whined, finally looking Diego in the eye. “I’m-... I’m gonna go.” 

“No you’re not,” Diego said, starting to walk toward Klaus with his hand held up like he was approaching a wild animal. “Just go lay back down and everything will be okay sooner than you think, okay?”

“Why couldn’t you have just stayed asleep,” Klaus said, biting his lip. Fresh tears spilled out of his eyes and he reached out for the door handle.

“Klaus, stop. There is nobody in this town that’s going to have what you’re looking for,” Diego said, stopping a few feet from him.

“Please just let me go,” Klaus whispered, looking away and turning the doorknob.

“If you leave you’re never going to see me again,” Diego said, and he felt such a strong pang of sadness at the thought that he wasn’t sure who was affected by it more. Klaus whined and pouted, shaking his body like a spoiled teenager that couldn’t get what they wanted. 

“I don’t know what to do,” he cried pathetically, looking back and Diego again. 

“I thought… I thought I meant something to you,” Diego said, feeling himself choking up too. Using himself as the ultimatum felt slimy, but he _really_ didn’t want Klaus to walk out that door. It would break his fucking heart. 

“ _You_ _do,_ but-” Klaus said, then stopped himself. 

“But what? Being high means more?”

“God, no. Not at _all,_ but I don’t know how to live wi-without it, okay? I can’t do this. I can’t feel this way anymore. It hurts so m-much, Diego,” he whined, his lip quivering and breath hitching.

“I know it hurts, but you _can_ do this. Just come here,” he said, holding out his hand. “Let’s look at the birds, or I’ll read to you. Just don’t leave... _Please._ ”

“Uuugghhhh,” Klaus groaned, tearing his eyes away from Diego and shutting the door. He thudded his forehead against it dramatically. Diego took the deepest breath his lungs would allow and dragged his hand down his face. This was far from over, but at least he’d been able to stop him.

“Come on, let’s get the patch, that will help at least a little bit,” Diego said, daring to close the distance and rest his hand on Klaus’ shoulder. Klaus shook his head against the door.

“Nothing is going to fix this,” he said, but he turned to face Diego. 

“I know,” Diego said soothingly, resting his hand on Klaus’ ribs and pulling him in for a hug. 

To his surprise Klaus refused it and brushed his hand away. He didn’t seem angry with him or anything, but he just didn’t want that kind of comfort at the moment. Diego could relate, so he let Klaus pass and then followed him to the bedroom.

It finally happened. Klaus had ripped apart every bag, leaving all their stuff scattered everywhere while he looked for the rest of the pills. Diego was just happy he’d gotten rid of them the night before, because it would have just made things worse if Klaus found them. Klaus sat on the end of his bed and crossed his arms, his whole demeanor looking defeated.

“I’ll clean it up,” he said, watching Diego take in the mess. 

“It’s alright, just lay down while I find you a patch,” Diego said, slipping off his sling so he could use both arms to collect their stuff. 

Klaus slid off the end of the bed and started to help. His hands were shaking and Diego could tell it was taking all his will power to not run out the door instead. Klaus found the patch first, under one of the beds, and ripped it open with his teeth again. 

Diego rounded up all their things, leaving just the dirty laundry in a pile by the dresser across from the beds. He would need to ask Agnes if he could wash some stuff tomorrow, because they were both going to need clean clothes as soon as possible. Diego had changed into his last clean set of sweats and t-shirt earlier that day, but Klaus was still in his clothes from yesterday morning and… he was pretty smelly at this point with all the sweating and everything, not that Diego judged him in the slightest. Before he could stand up Klaus reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“You’re going to lock me in here when you leave, aren’t you?” he asked with so much fear in his voice that Diego second guessed if it was necessary. 

“I’m sorry. I don’t want to, but…” 

“I don’t want to be alone,... please don’t, _please,_ ” Klaus said, his eyes welling up again. Diego swallowed hard and took his wrist from Klaus’ shaking grip to hold his hand instead. He could feel his resolve cracking even though he knew this wasn’t Klaus begging anymore, this was the addiction talking now.

“Okay, I’ll stay with you. Let’s try to sleep. I promise I won’t leave while you’re passed out,” Diego said. 

He knew it was a mistake to trust Klaus to not leave. It was going to happen again and again, as long as he was dope sick and not thinking rationally. Locking him up still felt _wrong,_ though, even though Klaus had plenty of time to object while he could still think clearly. This was just prolonging the inevitable, but staring into Klaus’ pleading eyes full of pain and fear was too fucking hard. He couldn’t do it, at least not yet.

“I can’t sleep, everything hurts too much. I can’t even breathe without every part of me screaming,” he whined. “I need… I need it to stop or I’m going to lose my fucking mind.”

“The pain and puking will be over soon, I promise. Just a couple more days, okay? You can get through this,” Diego said, reaching up to wipe a streak of tears from Klaus’ cheek with his thumb. “You don’t have to sleep, but at least get in bed. This hard floor can’t be helping.”

Klaus nodded and let Diego help him up off the floor, but they didn’t even make it more than a few steps before Klaus glanced at the door and froze. Diego gripped his hand around Klaus’ elbow and used some strength to make him keep walking. He sat on the edge of the bed and tried to guide Klaus to sit next to him, but he was still resisting. 

“Let go. I can’t-” he said, trying to get his arm free.

“Klaus, c’mon, just sit,” Diego said, trying to catch Klaus’ eye but he was still staring at the door. 

“You should go, just lock the door,” Klaus said, squeezing his eyes shut and trying to back away. “I can’t do this. You have to just-”

“It’s okay, I’ll stay with you, but you have to sit down,” Diego said, but Klaus started shaking his head violently. 

His breath picked up, becoming erratic and he yanked his arm out of Diego’s grip and held both sides of his face. He backed up until the back of his knees hit the other bed.

“No, no, no,” he panted, digging his silver nails into his cheeks.

“Hey, it’s okay, stop that!” Diego said, standing up and trying to take Klaus’ hands off his face.

“No, just, please go before I do!” he said, slapping Diego’s hands away and skirting around the bed. Diego followed him toward the window instead of the door. He was confused and scared, because he thought Klaus was having a panic attack on top of everything else. He watched Klaus brace his hands on the back wall next to the window, then slide down to his knees again. Diego bent to rest his hand on his shoulder but Klaus shrugged it off.

“Go now,” he managed to whine between ragged breaths. 

“Klaus-” Diego tried, but Klaus started screaming at the wall. 

“Go now or I'm fucking leaving!”

“Hey, just-”

“FUCKING GO, DIEGO! RIGHT FUCKING _NOW!_ ”

Diego stared at him with wide eyes and a dropped jaw for a few more seconds, too stunned to move. It was such a violent shift in attitude, and Klaus had never screamed at him like this before. When Klaus punched the wall in manic frustration Diego snapped into gear, grabbing his duffle bag off the floor and turning to leave. He stopped to look back once more, unable to see Klaus behind the bed, so he shut the door behind himself and locked it. His heart was hammering and he couldn’t catch his breath as he stared at the door in disbelief. 

This was really happening. He really had to lock Klaus up like a rabid dog, and he couldn’t stop himself from letting a couple tears fall. He jammed his knuckles into his eyes and rubbed the tears away, he couldn’t let this affect him this way. It was only temporary, Klaus would be alright in a couple days and this would all be behind them, but it couldn’t be soon enough. Diego tried to take some steadying breaths and leaned his back against the hallway wall opposite of the bedroom door, then slid down to sit on the floor. He could hear Klaus crying and puking at the same time, and Diego assumed he must have not made it to the bathroom. He sighed and resigned himself to having to clean that up later, because Klaus certainly couldn’t in his current state. 

If he thought it had been bad so far, he couldn’t have been more wrong. After twenty minutes of Klaus being silent, Diego started to wonder if maybe he had finally passed out. Then he saw the shadow of Klaus’ feet under the door, and the door handle started to shake. 

“Diego, I didn’t mean it. Please unlock the door. I won’t leave, I promise,” Klaus pleaded, continuing to attempt to turn the knob. “Don’t leave me in here, I’m going to lose my fucking shit. Please, please unlock the door. I’ll be good, I _swear!_ ”

“I can’t, Klaus, you know I can’t,” Diego said, shaking his head sadly. “I’m here though. I’ll be right here.”

“NO!” Klaus yelled, smacking the door with both palms so it rattled on the hinges. “That’s not good enough! You need to let me the fuck out!”

“Dude, you have to relax and be quiet! Agnes is sleeping,” Diego hissed. 

“I don’t fucking care! Let me out! Let out of here god damn it!” Klaus yelled, hitting the door again, and again. Diego flinched every time. 

“Klaus, please stop!” he begged, rubbing his temples because he was getting a fucking headache. 

“No! Not until you open this fucking door! God, I fucking _hate you!_ ” Klaus said, his voice cracking as he said it. Diego’s heart cracked, too. He knew this wasn’t Klaus talking, but… maybe it was. He heard Klaus slide down the door to his knees, giving the door another weak smack before he started crying again. “Why did you fucking do this to me, Diego? I was fine before I met you! Life wasn’t perfect but I was _okay._ I was finally okay and you fucked it all up for me!”

A new wave of guilt swept over Diego. Klaus was saying everything he’d feared the whole fucking time. Maybe it was the withdrawal making him say it, but deep down it must have some kernel of truth, right?

“I’m sorry,” Diego said, so softly he wasn’t even sure Klaus could hear him.

“You fucking should be. You ruined my fucking life. I just want to go _home,_ ” Klaus cried, choking on his own tears. “But I can’t because you made me a fucking _killer_ like you! Why couldn’t you have just minded your own god damn business?”

“This isn’t you,” Diego said, but he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince. “I was just trying to help you.”

“Yeah, that’s what you do, isn’t it? Try to play the fucking hero and then ruin everyone else’s lives around you when you do,” Klaus said, his voice growning colder and calmer now. “You can try to convince yourself that you do the right thing, but how many people are dead because of you? How many people have you hurt because you’re a violent fucking asshole? Chip off the old block, huh?”

Diego took a shaky deep breath and wiped a tear away, then covered his ears with both hands. He couldn’t listen to this. No matter how hard the tried to remind himself that Klaus didn’t really mean these things, hearing them was still like taking multiple torpedos right through his chest. Klaus was just trying to get Diego angry enough to open the door. The withdrawal was making him manipulate Diego with the worst possible things he could think to say, whether he believed them or not. Diego had been vulnerable enough with him that he knew exactly what to say to hurt him by now, and it was working. He couldn’t hear Klaus’ words through his hands pressed hard against his ears, but he could feel the vibrations of him hitting the door again. He lifted one hand against his better judgement, and Klaus started yelling again.

“Don’t fucking ignore me, Diego! I know you can hear me! Open this door!” Klaus demanded. “I would rather be dead than be in here!”

And that was something Diego hadn’t even considered - Klaus might become suicidal again. Withdrawal could do that to a person, too. Fuck, he should have made sure there as nothing in the room Klaus could use to hurt himself. All he would have to do is break the window and use the glass to cut himself, the wood on the outside wouldn’t prevent that. Now there was no way Diego could leave this spot, because he had to listen for glass breaking.

Klaus was quiet for a couple minutes other than harsh breathing and then Diego watched his shadow under the door move toward the bathroom. He threw up again moments later, then stayed in there for an extended period of time. Eventually Diego’s heart rate returned to normal, but his mind was beyond fucked now. 

How were either of them going to get through this? Diego wasn’t sure he could take much more verbal abuse from Klaus. He already had Diego questioning whether they had actually bonded or if Klaus was only affectionate with him because of the drugs. Maybe all the sweet, sentimenal shit was just a lie, and Klaus really did fucking hate him. Or worse, he really _was_ afraid of Diego all this time, and he was actually a hostage here against his will. 

“Hey, how are you holding up?” Agnes said quietly, making Diego jump so hard he almost screamed. He glanced at her walking toward him in her pink, fluffy robe and slippers, then quickly wiped the tear streaks off his face and scowled.

“I’m fine, thanks,” he said, but the trembling of his voice gave him away. “I’m sorry we woke you.”

“I’m really not worried about it, honey,” she said, and to his surprise she sat down next to him on the floor. She stared at him for a few moments, and Diego wished she wouldn’t. “I know you know, but he really doesn’t mean the things he’s saying. He wouldn’t have come all this way with you if he didn’t want to be here with you.”

“Listen, I appreciate you being kind, but I really can’t talk about this with you,” he said, glaring sightlessly at the bedroom door across from them.

“Why not?”

“Because-” Diego started, then swallowed hard. “Because I just can’t. I know you’re a good person, Agnes, but I’m having a really hard time separating you from Luther, and I don’t want to be rude to you when it’s not your fault.”

“Well, nobody can say you aren’t honest, can they?” she said, and Diego scoffed. 

“I suppose,” he said, and his high strung muscles relaxed just a little. “You know, I’ve seen this happen to people while I was locked up, but.. it’s never been this hard to watch before.”

“Well, you weren’t in love with those people so it wasn’t as hard to see them suffering,” she said. Diego did a double take and then frowned at her. 

“I don’t-, we’re not-” he started, but she rolled her eyes and chuckled at him.

“Please, you’re ass over teakettle for him, sweetheart,” she said, smiling warmly. “If you weren’t you wouldn’t be sitting here worrying the way you are.”

“I’ve barely known him a week. No offense, but you have no idea what you’re talking about,” Diego said, immediately clamming up again. Why did both her and Hazel assume that? Sure, he had never become close with anyone that fast before, or really ever, but still. ‘ _Love’_ was a ridiculously strong word to use for whatever attachment they had developed. Especially right now when he was questioning whether they were even _friends_ let alone anything else. 

“Okay, okay. Either way, you care about him on some level, and that’s why this hurts more than the other people you’ve seen go through this.”

“Sure,” he said, lifting a hand to rub both tired eyes. “I’ve also never had the other people drag me personally like this, either.” 

She nodded and kept quiet for a while, until Diego started to wonder why she was still sitting there with him. Klaus hadn’t left the bathroom, so it was just silence in the shadowy hallway. Diego could think of 100 things to ask her about Luther, but he was neither in the mood nor the right frame of mind to hear the answers. 

“You know you’re welcome to use my bath anytime you want, right?” she said, and Diego let out a surprised, wry laugh.

“Are you telling me I stink?” he said, and he realized that was probably true. 

He hadn’t showered since… he couldn’t even remember. Sometime before he got shot, so definitely too long ago. Partly because he’d been distracted by the world falling down around him, but also because he hadn’t wanted to get his wound wet yet.

“Only a little,” she said sheepishly with a small shrug. “But I know you’ve had other things on your mind. I just wanted you to know you’re welcome to whatever you need.”

“I know, and thank you,” he said, managing to smile even though he felt like shit. He wanted to be annoyed that talking to Agnes actually made him feel a little better, but he couldn’t be. She was just too damn unendingly sweet and supportive. He _really_ had to get a grip on his bitterness toward her because she had been nothing but non-judgemental and welcoming since the moment they arrived. 

“What… what do you know about the reasons that Grace left the Hargreeves estate?” she asked out of nowhere, slamming him right back into turmoil. 

“Uh… not much, I guess,” he said, trying his damnedest to let this conversation happen. “I know that Reginald treated her like a trophy wife, and that he _threw_ her out, she didn’t _leave._ ”

“Right…” she started, and Diego could tell she was weighing her words carefully. “Have you ever heard of postpartum depression?”

“I have a general idea,” he said, feeling his frown growing deeper. He needed her to get to the point already.

“Well, when Luther was born, Grace… she didn’t care about him the way a mother is supposed to care about her baby. She couldn’t bring herself to hold him or play with him, or even want to feed him properly sometimes, because… because of the depression. Reginald didn’t care that there might be a medical aspect to it, he just saw it as her being broken, or genuinely apathetic about her duties as a mother. So it went untreated, and she got worse. She hardly left bed for weeks at a time, and Reginald certainly didn’t sign up to take care of a child the way a father should, either. That’s why they hired me,” she explained, playing with the ends of her robe ties nervously. Diego couldn’t tear his eyes away from her now if he tried.

“Go on,” he said when she didn’t continue immediately.

“Well, my husband volunteered me for the job, and it was a huge pay boost from the diner I was serving at, so I took the job. I had no idea what I was walking into, but I fell in love with Luther immediately. He was a good baby, hardly fussed and slept through the night,” she said, giving him a wistful smile that fell quickly. “Diego, I tried _so_ hard to get Grace to engage with him, but she couldn’t, and I tried to explain what was really going on to Reginald but he wouldn’t hear it. He acted like postpartum depression was a fantasy that bad mothers made up to excuse their neglect. This went on for almost a year before… before the divorce proceedings started. Grace was lost and hurting, and she didn’t have anyone to get her the help she needed.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asked, even though he’d told her to continue. With everything else on his mind, it was too much. The last thing he wanted to think about was that his mom had basically never been happy. 

“Because I think you need to understand why Luther and Grace have always had a hard time bonding. The whole time he was growing up he had Reginald telling him that Grace abandoned him, that she didn’t love him and that’s why she left. I was just the nanny, I couldn’t interfere, you know?”

“No, not really,” he said bluntly, because that sounded like bullshit to him. How could Agnes sit by and let Luther believe that lie his whole life? No wonder he was cold to Grace when he would come to visit with that shit in his head. 

“Reginald was a powerful man, Diego. He could have ruined my husband and I’s life if I had gone against his word and told Luther different. And it didn’t help that he would go visit her at your house and… she _loved_ you. You were her second chance at being the mother she wanted to be for Luther but couldn’t be at the time, and he couldn’t understand why she could be that way for you and not him,” Agnes said, reaching out to touch Diego’s arm, but he pulled it away before she could. “Honey, he was jealous of you his entire childhood, because his mother loved someone else’s child more than him. You got the best of her, which is of course no fault of yours, and I’m so happy you had that, but… you have to see why he resented you, and her in a way.”

“As a kid, maybe, but that’s no excuse for how he treated her when he was older. She bent over backwards trying to love him for years and he still acted too fucking good for us. In all the times he came over, he couldn’t see that maybe his fucking asshole father might be the one that was wrong about her?” he said, barely keeping a lid on his temper. Was this supposed to make him feel _sorry_ for Luther?

“Reginald had his hooks deep in Luther’s mind, Diego. He idolized his father, would do anything for his rare praise and approval. When you… when you asked him to testify for you in court, I was there for the conversation he had with his dad about it,” she said, biting her lip and giving him a sympathetic look before continuing. Diego wasn’t sure how much more he could take, it was too fucking much. “Reginald told him you were trash, a juvenile delinquent that deserved what was coming to you, and he forbid him from dragging the Hargreeves name through the court and the press to defend you. He didn’t want the bad P.R. of Luther defending a murderer, especially of a police officer. He didn’t care whether your dad was really hurting you and your mom or not. It was _wrong_ , and Luther knows that now. Why do you think he’s trying so hard to help you now, even though it could get him arrested, too? It could get us all arrested, but we owe you. We all failed you, honey, and I’m _so_ sorry.”

“Is your conscience clear now?” he asked tonelessly, giving her an equally emotionless look even though his feelings were all over the place. She looked down, shaking her head. “Good.”

Agnes didn’t seem surprised that he wasn’t accepting her apology. He didn’t know how to forgive anyone that had a hand in how things went down, even himself. The only thing that knowing more about the situation did was fuck him up more deeply than ever, and he really couldn’t handle it at the moment, not with everything else going on. Then he realized he hadn’t heard anything from Klaus in way too long, so he snapped himself out of it and got up on his knees. He shuffled to the bedroom door and gave it a couple light knocks.

“Hey, Klaus? Are you alright in there?” he asked, but there wasn’t an immediate response. He knew Klaus wouldn’t have fallen asleep, so he pressed his ear against the door. All he could hear was the general hum of electricity throughout the house. He knocked again, and finally he heard Klaus moving in the bathroom. “Talk to me, man.”

Agnes picked herself up off the floor, and instead of going back to bed she headed for the kitchen, stepping over the duffle bag that Diego had dropped in the hall after he’d locked the door. He hoped she wasn’t going to try to make him eat again, because that was still not happening. Even if he was hungry, he was too irritated to eat, anyway. 

“Diego?” Klaus said weakly, and Diego realized he must have crawled back to the other side of the door.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said, sitting down and leaning his back against the door. 

“I don’t feel like talking, but don’t le-leave,” he said with a hiccup and then a groan. 

Diego didn’t feel like talking really, either, so that worked out. He certainly wasn’t in the mood to hear Klaus apologize for the shit he’d said; Diego had heard all the apologies he could handle at the moment. He wasn’t sure he was ready to just forget what Klaus said yet, even though he tried to convince himself that he didn’t mean what he’d said. Diego didn’t _believe_ that, but he still told himself it was the withdrawal, anyway. It was also hard to be mad at Klaus, though, because Diego believed everything he had said about him. He was just calling like he saw it - Diego ruined the lives of everyone around him. It was straight to the point and accurate, but it still hurt like hell hearing Klaus say it. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” Diego said, letting out a long sigh. “It’s not like I have many options even if I wanted to.”

“Okay,” Klaus whispered. Diego could hear him shift to lay down on the floor, and he wished this could be over any faster, for both their sakes.

A while later Agnes walked by, not saying anything to Diego as she walked back to her room. She must have assumed that Diego wasn’t feeling friendly at the moment, and she would have been right. Another half hour later and he could hardly feel his ass or legs, both of them having gone numb from sitting on the hard wood of the hallway. His eyes felt full of sand, and he’d almost nodded off several times, but every time he’d been snapped back to consciousness by the sounds of Klaus suffering behind the door.

“Diego,” he heard after a while. 

“Hmm?”

“Do you believe in murder?” Klaus asked, and Diego rolled his eyes and thumped his head back against the door. 

“Didn’t we already have this conversation?” he asked, because the thought of discussing this right now sounded like actual psychological torture.

“I guess, but that was before I killed someone. That kind of changes things,” Klaus said, and Diego could hear the guilt in his voice. Neither of them had really had time to process the whole thing, so he should have known this conversation was coming. 

“You killed her in self defense, and in my defense. I fully support that kind of murder, if that’s what you’re asking,” Diego said, and he meant it. “If any random crazy person came into our room with guns blazing, you’d be well within your legal right to shoot them. The only reason we had to run is because… because I made us fugitives beforehand. Otherwise you wouldn’t even have been charged with anything, other than having a stolen firearm, probably. That’s still like 3-5 years in prison, though. But still, strictly morally speaking, I think you’re in the clear, okay? You did what you had to do, or we would both be dead. I promise she wouldn’t have lost a wink of sleep over killing you, so don’t let it wreck you.”

“It still gets to you, though, doesn’t it?” Klaus asked, making Diego shiver. “Craig and your dad were bad men, they hurt people in different ways. But you’re still affected by taking their lives, I can tell.”

“Klaus, can we not with this right now?” Diego said, trying to remain calm despite the topic making him feel like he was shoved off a cliff and freefalling. “Listen, when you’re feeling better we can hash this out, because I know you need to talk about it, but right now I just… I just can’t handle dwelling on that or I’m going to come undone, okay?”

“Alright, but you’re kind of proving my point,” Klaus said.

“Are you feeling any better?” Diego asked, ignoring that completely. 

“Not at all. I literally would rather be dead right now, but I can’t leave you with that on your conscience,” he said, and Diego heard him groan as he pushed himself into a sitting position. 

“Jesus, please don’t talk like that, either. You’re not going to die,” Diego said, wishing they could go back to being quiet. 

He told himself it was selfish to feel that way, because Klaus was allowed to be honest, especially because Diego did ask. But the honesty was beyond overwhelming at this point. Apparently he wasn’t done though, because he kept talking and breaking Diego’s brain even further.

“I’m really sorry I yelled at you, Diego. I don’t regret meeting you or anything else I said when I was freaking out. I definitely _don’t_ hate you at _all._ I’m so fucking sorry, I know you’re just trying to help me,” Klaus said, his voice breaking up as he got emotional again. “But I understand if you can’t forgive me. What I said was… it was so, so shitty and you don’t deserve it.”

Diego sighed again and stared at his hands in his lap. He wanted to say ‘it’s fine’ just to brush it off and not have to discuss it, but that would be a lie. But at the same time, he didn’t want Klaus to freak out and dwell on Diego being upset with him when he needed to focus on getting better. 

“I know you weren’t thinking clearly at the time. What you said still hurt, though, but we can talk about that later. I don’t want to have that conversation through a door,” he said, hoping he was being delicate enough to not upset Klaus further. “I’m not mad at you, okay? Just focus on getting better and then we can talk about it when both of us aren’t out of our minds with exhaustion. We’re both likely to say shit we don’t mean right now, you know?”

“Okay, I understand,” Klaus said. He sounded so small and sad, but he didn’t press Diego any further about it. “You can come in here and sleep if you’re tired, I promise I won’t try to leave again.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea just yet, I’m sorry,” Diego said, his defenses rising again. Klaus might be feeling okay enough at the moment, but if he got another wave of craving as strong as before, he could still try to leave. Maybe by the end of the day, but definitely not yet. Maybe also if Diego wasn’t hurt and could handle him better if he got erratic, but then again, he didn’t feel like testing his own temper if it came to physically holding Klaus back, even if he wasn’t hurt.

“I figured you would say that. But don’t make yourself sick, sleep on the couch if you need to. I’ll be okay here, promise,” he said. “I can tell you’re not in the mood to talk to me, anyway.”

“No, we can talk, just talk to me about something a little lighter than murder, maybe?”

“Like what?”

“Fuck, I have no idea. Tell me one of your wild stories? Anything that’s not focusing on the shit happening to us right now,” Diego said, shifting on the floor to lean more heavily on one buttcheek so the other side could get some circulation to his toes.

“Did I ever tell you I pierced my own tongue when I was 15?” Klaus said. Diego managed to smirk and snort.

“No, you didn’t.”

“Yeah it didn’t go well. I was at my friend’s house and we had to take her mom’s car without permission to go to the ER at like 3am because I hit a serious vein or something. There was blood all over her mom’s car and we had to make up a lie about me biting my tongue really hard,” Klaus said, chuckling to himself even though that sounded horrifying to Diego. “I’m stubborn though, so I found someone that knew what they were doing and had it done for real.”

“Yeah, that sounds like you,” Diego said, shaking his head.

“It was great for like a year, and then I chipped my bottom 2 front teeth with it, so I took it out. I just wasn’t meant to have one even though it was fun while it lasted,” he said, and he was starting to sound better just from focusing on something else. “Ben hated it, though.”

“I hate it too, and I never even saw it,” Diego said. Klaus blew a playful raspberry.

“That’s only because you don’t know what it can do,” Klaus said with some of that flirty energy that he’d lost the last couple of days.

“I’ve heard the rumors,” Diego said, smiling even though he did not want to think about the implication very hard. 

“You’ve never wanted a piercing?”

“I had my ears pierced before I got locked up, but they are probably closed now,” he said, reaching up to feel the little hard blobs of scar tissue in his ear lobes. 

“Oh shit, you would look great with silver rings, or those little black plugs that punk guys wear. You should do that again,” Klaus said.

“I’ll get right on it,” Diego teased. “I bet the piercing parlor in this town is thriving.”

“Ugh, fuck, hang on,” Klaus said, and Diego heard him leave for the bathroom again.

Diego decided to use that opportunity to get up and stretch, because his entire lower half was numb and dying. He had been doing _way_ too much sitting in the last week. Normally he would have been working out every day, but that was kind of hard to do when you are busy running for your life. And now he was injured, so he didn’t see any push ups in his future anytime soon, either. He figured that was part of why he was feeling so high strung - he hadn’t been able to take part in his typical stress relieving method.

He went to the kitchen and got himself a glass of water, slammed all of it, and set the glass back in the sink. He shuddered at the unfamiliar taste of well water as opposed to city tap or bottled water, but it was tolerable. He couldn’t believe Klaus even finished the cup from earlier. If anyone was going to complain about well water, it would be him. He must have _really_ wanted Diego to read him that story.

Klaus still hadn’t returned by the time Diego sat back down, so he leaned back against the door again and closed his eyes while he waited.

“Diego. Hey honey, I made fresh coffee,” Agnes said, standing a few feet from him in the hall. He blinked and looked around, realizing that a lot of time must have passed for her to be awake again. He rubbed his eyes and tried to remember what he’d been dreaming about, because it wasn’t good, but it had been chased away by consciousness. 

“What time is it?” he asked, every stiff muscle protesting as he stretched. The side of his forehead had an indent from pressing against the door frame, his neck was sore from leaning to the side in a stupid way, and he didn’t even want to imagine how much standing up again was going to suck.

“Almost six,” she said. “Let me make you some breakfast. No arguments, you haven’t eaten in days now.”

“I’m fine,” he said, but he knew he was most definitely not fine anymore. He needed to eat, and so did Klaus, even if he couldn’t keep it down very long.

“Eat something, dingus,” Klaus said, thumping the door behind him and making him jump. He didn’t even realize Klaus was awake in there, let alone listening. “You’re going to die if you don’t eat.”

“I said I’m fine,” Diego muttered with a frown. 

“If you don’t eat I’m going to call Luther and tell him you’re being a bother,” Agnes said, but her voice had a sing-song tone and she was smiling softly at him, so he knew she would never. 

“Now you guys are teaming up against me?” Diego asked, feeling outnumbered even though neither of them could actually do anything about if he refused.

“At least come have some toast and coffee. I made some bone broth for Klaus, but it’s not quite done yet. You can bring it to him later,” Agnes said, turning to head back to the kitchen before Diego could argue with her any further.

“The fuck is bone broth?” Klaus asked. “Sounds like witch soup. Or soup for dogs.”

“It’s just soup broth made out of beef bones, so all the marrow and stuff is cooked out of them into the broth,” Diego said, and he was happy to hear Klaus making jokes. Maybe he was better this morning than he was last night. 

“Still sounds like dog food to me,” Klaus said, but then changed directions. “So I didn’t know you were starving yourself this whole time, by the way.”

“I just haven’t felt like eating, I’m honestly fine.”

“Don’t be stupid, go eat some wheat toast with the nice lady,” Klaus said. Diego did as he was told with only mild grumbling. 

Agnes did indeed only have wheat toast, and he wondered exactly how Klaus knew that when he hadn’t left that bedroom since he got there. Diego ate it anyway, mumbling only a few words of thanks to Agnes. He was still feeling conflicted about her, especially after knowing she deliberately kept Grace’s postpartum issues a secret from Luther for almost 2 decades. Still, she was so nice and absolutely doing her best to make his and Klaus’ stay more comfortable, and he understood why her hands were tied. Or at least _tried_ to understand. It would just make the whole stay less stressful if he would just let it go, or at least put it on pause until he wasn’t currently hiding from the law under her roof.

Before he left the kitchen he decided to tell her that her broth smelled amazing, because it did, and she looked so pleased by the compliment that he decided he needed to cut her some slack. His beef was still, ultimately, with Luther and not her. Plus, he could tell she was lonely here and liked having company, so the least he could do was to not make it miserable for her with his sour attitude. 

“Hey, I brought you some orange juice,” Diego called, knocking lightly on the bedroom door before unlocking it. 

He let himself in, shutting it quickly behind himself. Maybe it was too soon to trust Klaus to not try to escape, but Diego absolutely had to collect their dirty laundry and get it in the washer so they had clean clothes. He knew he needed to bathe as soon as possible, because he was starting to notice _himself_ , and that was just unacceptable no matter what circumstance they were in. 

Klaus seemed shocked that he came in, sitting cross legged on his bed looking haggard and pale. He had dark circles around his eyes and greasy hair, and a couple scratches on his cheeks from when he’d clawed himself last night. Diego had also never seen him with that much stubble, from all the days of not shaving. He was a mess from head to toe, but Diego hadn’t expected much else. He was just happy that Klaus wasn’t shouting or crying anymore, for now. 

“Oh, thanks, but if I drank that right now I would die,” Klaus said, gesturing to his throat. “My entire esophagus feels like a huge, raw canker sore from all the- you know.”

“Right. I didn’t think of that, sorry,” Diego said, setting the juice on the dresser and walking to the end of the bed to inspect Klaus closer. “Are you feeling any better today?”

“Not really, I’m sorry,” Klaus said, looking down at his hands in his lap. Klaus hadn’t even been locked up that long but Diego couldn’t believe how much he missed seeing him already. He reached out to rest his knuckles under Klaus’ chin and lifted his face to look at his tired eyes. 

“You’re doing great, okay? I know it’s not going to be over in one night,” Diego said, sliding his fingers down Klaus’ jaw and behind his neck. 

Klaus gave him a look that conveyed so many emotions at once - guilt, pain and exhaustion, but a layer of gratitude shone through most. He seemed to miss their physical contact because he unfolded his legs and dropped them over the edge of the bed on either side of Diego’s legs, then wrapped his arms around Diego’s waist and pulled him in for a hug. Diego missed it too, petting the back of Klaus’ head as he buried his face in Diego’s abdomen.

“You kinda stink,” Klaus said with his voice muffled against Diego’s shirt, but he didn’t let go. Diego chuckled.

“So I’ve heard. I just came in here to get the laundry, actually,” he said, giving Klaus’ shoulder a squeeze before pulling away. “I will come back after I put it in the washer, okay?”

“Okay. You’re not going to believe this, but I would love it if you brought me back another glass of water. I’m so thirsty,” he said, reluctantly letting go of Diego so he could do the things he needed to do. 

“You got it,” Diego said, collecting the laundry pile and the arm sling that he’d left on the floor last night. “Be back in a few.”

Agnes pointed him toward the washer in the room on the other side of the dining room, so he took the stuff in there and set it all on top of the dryer while he tried to figure out the washing machine controls. Once he figured that out and got everything started, he noticed the utility room he was in had a flight of stairs that he assumed went down to a basement. It looked dark and spooky down there, as basements usually did, but he couldn’t imagine what she would need to keep down there if the laundry machines were up here. Maybe one day he would investigate just to see, but right now he had to get Klaus that glass of water so he turned out the light and headed back to the kitchen.

“Oh, good timing,” Agnes said when she saw him again. She had just ladled broth from a crock pot into two steaming ceramic mugs sitting on the counter. “He might be more willing to drink this if you do too.”

“That’s a good point,” Diego said, walking up to the counter to pick up the mugs. He figured she must have put this on right after they’d had their discussion way earlier that morning. Even when Diego had tried to make her feel guilty for her part to play in the past, she was still thinking about how to help them at the same time. 

“Plus, there isn’t a lot of protein in toast, so this will be good for you too,” she said, setting the ladle in the sink. “Oh, and I left the birds in their cages this morning, so if you want to bring Klaus in the sunroom you can. You both could probably use some sunlight and fresh air. There’s a nice breeze this morning.”

“Alright, that sounds nice. Maybe he will feel up for it later today, but I’m still not sure that he should leave the room yet. Thank you, though,” he said, picking up the mugs by the handles and realizing he was going to need more hands. “Hey, sorry to bother you, but can you fill a glass of water and follow me to the bedroom? I won’t be able to open the door with these.”

“Absolutely,” she said, already moving to get a clean glass from the cupboard. 

Diego was about to walk to the room but his right hand started to shake before he even left the counter with the mugs. He couldn’t… he couldn’t carry it without dropping it. Partially because even the weight of a mug of soup was too heavy and hurt him, and partially because he could barely feel the handle in his fingers, so he wasn’t even sure how secure his grip was. He set the mug down and stared at his hand, flexing his fingers in disbelief and dread. This had to be nerve damage, there was no way to deny it anymore, but he was still going to. 

“Oh, just take the one mug, dear. I’ll bring the other one,” Agnes said, noticing his dilemma as she filled the water glass. He looked up and saw sympathy on her face. He tried not to let it embarrass and upset him, but it really did. He couldn’t be crippled like this, it just _had_ to be temporary. “We need to change your bandage soon too, it’s probably been too long.”

“I’m fine,” he grumbled, frowning hard and feeling his cheeks and ears burn hot. 

He stubbornly pushed the two mugs together, grabbing both of them by the handles with his left hand and lifting them carefully. They were almost too full for that, but he managed to carry them out of the room and down the hall without spilling. Klaus smiled at him when he walked in, and for a moment he forgot what he was mad about.

“I can’t believe you’re going to make me eat dog bone soup,” Klaus said, sitting up on the bed so he could take one of the mugs from Diego’s hand. 

“You haven’t eaten in days, just hold your nose and drink it,” Diego said, sitting down across from Klaus on his own bed. 

“This isn’t my first rodeo, honey. I’ve gone much longer without eating before,” Klaus said, making Diego frown again. Why did he always have to say depressing things in such a casual, sometimes even humorous way like that? Klaus wrapped both hands around the mug for warmth and sniffed the rising steam. “This does smell nicer than I thought it would, though.”

“All the herbs in it are fresh from my garden,” Agnes said, overhearing Klaus as she walked in carrying the glass of water and Diego’s sling he left on the counter. She set the glass on the nightstand and handed the sling to Diego. “Here, you should be wearing this.”

“Oh my god, Diego, I’m such an ass, I’m sorry! I haven’t even asked how you’re doing in so long,” Klaus said, setting his mug down and standing up in front of Diego to check out his arm. He started to lift Diego’s t-shirt sleeve but Diego shrugged him off.

“It’s fine. It hurts a little, but I’ll be alright,” he said, flexing his fingers self-consciously again. 

Klaus stared down at his face but Diego avoided his eyes, looking down and taking a drink of piping hot broth instead. He knew that Klaus knew he was lying, but he wasn’t ready to admit it out loud yet. He wasn’t fine, there was something seriously wrong but there wasn’t a damn thing they could do about it, so why make Klaus worry? He needed to be focusing on getting better. 

Klaus leaned forward and gave him a gentle, one armed hug around the shoulders, resting his chin on the top of Diego’s head.

“I said I’m alright, Klaus,” he whispered, but Klaus hugging him quietly was making him feel the gravity of the situation even heavier and he wanted to cry a little bit. “Just drink your dog soup.”

Klaus chuckled, his puff of breath ruffling the top of Diego’s hair. When he pulled back Diego realized that Agnes had left the room while Klaus was hugging him. She must have decided it was a moment best had in private, which Diego appreciated. Klaus sat back down on his bed and picked up the mug again, staring at it with a concerned expression.

“What if I throw it up?”

“So what? You’re already throwing up anyway, at least you won’t be dry heaving painfully,” Diego said, taking another scalding sip. “It’s good, just drink a little bit at least. Blow on it first, though.”

Klaus complied, blowing on the broth before taking a small sip. Diego noticed him hold it in his mouth for a little bit, then wince as he swallowed it. His throat must be really sore. 

“Okay, it’s not terrible. It definitely tastes like bones, though,” he said, taking another sip. 

“Are you sure you’re not feeling better? You’re not shaking and stuff this morning,” Diego said.

“I guess the fever part is mostly over. Everything else still fucking sucks, though,” Klaus said with a shrug. 

“If you think you’re feeling up for it, Agnes has an enclosed back porch thing. She suggested that we sit out there for a while, for some sunshine and fresh air since you’ve been shut in here like a prisoner,” Diego said. “But that can wait until later if you want to just sleep.”

“I can’t sleep. I wish I could just sleep until it was over, but I probably won’t sleep for-fucking- _ever_ ,” Klaus said, shaking his head and blowing on his mug again. “Let me see how this broth hits me and then maybe we can sit out there if I’m not puking my guts out.”

“Alright. I’ve never talked about puke this much in my life,” Diego said, extremely ready for that part of the whole thing to be over.

“You know what, I’m not actually sure if I can say that,” Klaus said, tilting his head like he was actually contemplating all the times it had come up in his life. “Fuck, I’ve spent a lot of my life hugging a toilet. I need to get my shit together.”

“Well, you’re already on the right track,” Diego said. Klaus smirked and raised an eyebrow. 

“Oh, sure, you know, except for all the recent _murder_ we’ve gotten up to.”

“ _Jeeesus,_ Klaus,” Diego breathed, covering his eyes with a hand and then scrubbing his face.

“What? It’s true! Not talking about it isn’t going to make it go away,” Klaus said, then took a long drink of his broth but still kept an eye on Diego. 

“I know that, but you don’t have to bring it up so flippantly, you know? It’s upsetting. I was just trying to compliment your progress and you made it weird,” Diego said with a frown.

“When don’t I make stuff weird? It’s part of my charm,” Klaus said, batting his eyelashes and lifting his shoulders in a little pose. Somehow he still looked adorable, even while being a hot mess at the same time. Diego actually struggled to keep his frown from slipping into a smirk and failed. 

“Yeah, it kind of is,” he said with a subtle nod. They stared at each other quietly for a few moments before Klaus broke the eye contact. 

“Okay, let’s go sit on the porch before this lull in feeling like shit passes,” he said, then took another long drink of his broth, tipping the cup all the way up over his face as he drained it. Diego nodded again and did the same. 

Klaus carried both of their mugs to the sink while Diego went to check on the laundry. It still had another 20 minutes at least, so he walked with Klaus out to the sunroom. It was bigger than Diego had even realized from just staring out of the kitchen window. 

It had green outdoor carpeting that was made out of like, plastic-feeling fibers and Diego didn’t like the feel of it on his bare feet at all. The room was rectangular shaped, stretching from the kitchen door down to the other end of the house outside of the laundry room. The walls were almost entirely made out of large, glassless windows with screens, with a screen door leading to the backyard in the middle of the outside wall. Under the window that looked into the kitchen there was a beige couch with sage green leaves on it, a couple small, matching armchairs on the opposite wall that swiveled, and then a desk with a grey, rolly desk chair behind it down at the other end. There were hanging plants in all the corners, a short, wide bookshelf on the left side of the couch with a record player on top, and then a bunch of random shit that birds could easily perch on - an empty hat rack, a potted tree next to one of the chairs that had bird toys hanging in it, empty little shelves high on the back wall against the house.

Agnes was right, there was a lovely, cool breeze coming through the screens and stepping out into the sunroom felt extremely refreshing. Diego didn’t realize how much he missed the outdoors until then, even though he’d only been inside like a day and a half. Klaus squinted and groaned at the bright morning light, shielding his eyes as he stumbled toward the couch and sat down. 

“Fuck, the sunlight hurts. I feel like a vampire,” he said, rubbing his eyes. Diego sat next to him on the couch and watched him try to adjust to natural sunlight after not seeing it for quite a while. 

“You would make a good-looking vampire, though. You’ve got that eternal youth look going on,” Diego said. Klaus squinted at him in the sunlight and smirked. 

“You’re not the first person to tell me that, actually,” he said, scratching at the stubble on his cheek. “I can’t look very youthful right now, though.”

“Well you still don’t look 26, so you’re good,” Diego said.

“That’s because I’m not yet! I’m still 25 for a few more weeks. God, don’t age me,” Klaus said, wrinkling his nose. Diego opened his mouth to respond but Agnes walked into the sunroom and stole Klaus’ attention. 

“I made you some tea, dear. Don’t refuse it this time, it’s expensive and I promise you want this,” she said, walking over and setting a saucer and teacup in Klaus’ hands. “It will help the nausea and the insomnia.” 

“Oh, okay. Maybe in a little bit, my stomach is already full of hot liquid and I don’t want to-”

“Sip it. You’ll be okay,” she said, reaching forward to pet his greasy hair and smiling at him. “You need to sleep.”

“What is it?” Diego asked, because he had a sneaking suspicion and it would irritate him if it was true. 

“My special blend. It helps me when I can’t sleep, too,” Agnes said, nodding as Klaus took a small sip and raised his eyebrows.

“Oh shit, Agnes! I never would have thought-” Klaus said, licking tea from his bottom lip. Agnes winked at him. “You are so wonderful, thank you.”

She just nodded and walked back out, ignoring Diego’s critical eye. As soon as she was out of the room he turned it on Klaus.

“Does that have weed in it?” he asked. Klaus was holding the mug in both hands and inhaling the steam deeply.

“Uh, yes it does. It’s infused in the cream,” Klaus said, reading Diego’s irritation all over his face. “But it’s okay, Diego, don’t get mad. It’s not the same, I swear.”

“Trading one drug for another isn’t helping you get sober,” Diego said, a chill in his voice. 

“I promise it’s not the same thing, okay? You can’t get addicted to weed, at least not physically,” Klaus said, but he could tell Diego wasn’t swayed. “Look, there is a reason it’s also considered medicine in a lot of states. She’s right, this _will_ help me get through this shit easier.”

“Fine, do what you want,” Diego said. 

He turned away from Klaus and leaned back on the couch, folding his arms as best he could and glaring sightlessly out into the back yard. He was beyond pissed at Agnes for giving Klaus that without consulting him first. They were trying to get drugs _out_ of Klaus’ system, not mask the symptoms by adding another one. 

“I will,” Klaus said, shrugging and taking another sip of milky tea that actually, admittedly, smelled fucking awesome. “I thought you wanted me to feel better?”

“I do, but not that way,” Diego said, refusing to look at him. He tried to think about it from the other perspective, that maybe this would be a good thing, but he just couldn’t accept that. Drugs were drugs, even though he could at least recognize that weed was still way less shitty than pain killers.

“Are you going to be mad at me?” Klaus asked, but it didn’t sound like he was concerned - just annoyed. 

“No, I said do what you want. I’m not the boss of you, Klaus,” Diego said, narrowing his eyes even further at the sunny peaks of the mountain range in the distance. 

“Now you sound like a mom telling her kid to do what they want, even though she definitely doesn’t mean it. She means ‘make the right choice or I’m going to be furious with you when you get back from doing the thing,’” Klaus said, running his finger around the rim of the china teacup. “I’m not too sick to recognize that passive aggressive shit.”

“I’m not being passive aggressive! You’re going to do what you want anyway, why does it matter what I think?” Diego said, but he realized he was definitely being passive aggressive. He still didn’t feel wrong about it, though. Using different drugs wasn’t going to solve Klaus’ drug problem, and he would stand firm about that.

“You know I care what you think, Diego,” Klaus said, reaching out to touch his forearm. Diego saw it out of the corner of his eye so he didn’t flinch, but he also didn’t feel like being touched at the moment. Klaus’ hand on him felt soft and warm from holding the cup though, and Diego could feel it melting the chill over his heart. “You’re like the _only_ person I actually care about what they think of me.”

“Just drink the tea. If it’s just once it will probably be fine,” Diego conceded, finally looking at him and realizing that Klaus could pretty much talk him into anything. 

“It _will_ be fine, I swear. It would probably take a hell of a lot more THC than what’s in this tea to get me actually high, anyway. This will just make me a little tired,” Klaus said, taking his hand off Diego’s arm to tip the teacup to his mouth with both hands. As usual Diego missed his warm touch, even in spite of his bad mood. 

“What… what does it feel like to be high?” Diego asked. He watched Klaus’ eyebrows raise over his teacup. 

“Well, remember how you felt when I gave you that pill?” Klaus asked, but Diego shook his head.

“No, not really. I don’t remember most things from that night, to be honest. I remember being shot, I remember you freaking out about driving, and I sort of remember you cleaning the wound just because it hurt like a motherfucker. That’s about it, but I was like, really out of it from the shock,” Diego said, and then remembered one other thing. “Oh, and I remember you lying down with me, but just barely.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Klaus said, then turned to face Diego on the couch and folded his legs in front of him. “It’s hard to answer that, because it depends on what you’re high on. Everything feels different.”

“What about heroin?” 

“Jeez, top shelf. Uh, okay, well it feels… nice. You expect it to be this crazy euphoric rush, but it’s not. It’s just nice, and you feel normal, like somehow more normal than you have ever felt otherwise. You feel cheerful, you can function without the fog of depression or anxiety fucking up your head. Everything just seems more beautiful and right in the world than it ever has, and makes you want to be a better person, even though it actually does the opposite. It feels like… being hugged by a good friend. And when you don’t really have any real friends, that’s a great feeling,” Klaus said. He rested his elbow on his knee, then his cheek on his palm, absently stroking where his sideburns met his stubbly jaw with his fingertips. 

“I guess I can understand why that would be hard to let go of,” Diego said, but he wondered if maybe it was a supremely stupid idea to ask Klaus that when he was trying _not_ to think about drugs. 

“It’s not just that you don’t want the good feeling to end. It’s also the fear of what comes after it does,” Klaus said, dropping his hand from his face and staring blankly down into his teacup. “It’s… when you stop, or you run out and can’t use again, it’s messed up because that became your ‘normal’ for so long. And sober reality doesn’t feel fucking normal _at all_ anymore, or even real. You feel like an alien, on top of your body feeling like fucking garbage, and everything you were running from comes flooding back with a vengence. That’s why it gets a hold of your soul and won’t let go, because you literally can not imagine a fate worse or more terrifying than sobriety once you know how good it feels to _not_ feel all your pain, and to just not acknowledge all the trauma life has thrown at you. And… that’s kind of where I am now.”

“I thought you said the pills were different than heroin?”

“They are, to an extent. I still use them for the same reasons, though, and it feels just as terrifying to lose them as it does most other chemical coping mechanisms. Like, there are moments where my mind tells me I can and should leave here, because I can hitchhike to a town where I can make all this stop so easily,” Klaus said, looking guilty just for having the thoughts at all. “I’ve had some really disturbing intrusive thoughts and I don’t want to anymore, but if I leave I lose you. And right now, I’m not sure which one scares me more.”

“I’m really glad you stayed, and I’ll help you through the dark stuff as best as I can,” Diego said, offering his hand to Klaus because he didn’t know how else to make him feel better. 

“I know you will,” Klaus said, giving Diego a weak smile and nod. He turned his body to sit closer, leaning against Diego from shoulder to knee, and then finally took his hand. He was leaning against Diego’s hurt arm, but he seemed to have forgotten, and it didn’t hurt bad enough for Diego to bring it up yet.

He was too busy being equal parts relieved and confused about how much Klaus seemed to care about him, at least enough to face life sober when it sounded like actual torture. There were plenty of people that couldn’t or wouldn’t be strong enough to make that choice even for the sake of their own family, but for some reason Klaus considered him worthy of sacrifice. And not even just this once.

He really shouldn’t; Diego was still majorly struggling with his own self worth, it had just taken a back seat to everything else happening for a few days. Klaus had already given up so much to be there with him - his home, his job, his drug habit, his _freedom_ \- and Diego still didn’t feel like he deserved any of it.

“Hey, so when you got out of prison, where did you go?” Klaus asked, as if that wasn’t a heavy question. Diego blinked at him a few times as Klaus started back expectantly for an answer.

“Um, well, obviously I couldn’t go home. My mom had let the house go back to the bank and moved to Florida. So, I was supposed to look for some of Julio’s people. I took a bus to that old bakery on Fifth and Main, I don’t know if you’ve been around that area. It’s actually not far from Sharp Shot,” Diego said.

“Yeah, I remember it. It’s been closed for years, though,” Klaus said, then took the last mouthful of tea from his cup and leaned down to set it on the floor. 

“Right, but only on its face. It’s just not a bakery anymore. If you go in the back door it leads into a kitchen with a trap door down to a cellar that was basically a _huge_ fucking arsenal. Like, so many guns. Two brothers from the gang were there waiting for me. I was given a fat stack of cash in an envelope, motel keys for a paid room for a week, and instructions about where to go from there, and what was expected of me,” Diego explained, feeling his mouth getting dry. This wasn’t something he liked to talk about, but he didn’t want to hide anything from Klaus if he asked, even if it was uncomfortable. Klaus had been nothing but vulnerable and open with him, Diego owed him the same emotional effort. “My loyalty in prison earned me respect even outside the prison gates. Julio wanted me taken care of, at least long enough to get my own shit together.”

“What was expected of you?” Klaus asked, which Diego really, really hoped he wouldn’t. 

“It’s uh… it doesn’t matter, because I wasn’t going to do it.”

“You don’t have to tell me, but I’m still curious.”

“I figured I would get some trivial newbie task when I first got out, you know? I hadn’t even met Julio yet, but I guess he wanted to test my commitment as quickly as possible. I’d spent eight years proving myself, but Julio had to see it for himself, I guess,” Diego said, but he knew he was stalling. He sighed and bit his bottom lip before continuing. “Look, I’m not proud of my involvement. I never wanted-”

“Diego, I know that. I don’t hold you morally responsible for any of the shit you were forced to do in the name of survival. We’ve both done things we’re not proud of,” Klaus said, giving Diego’s hand a squeeze. It made Diego sick to his stomach because he realized he could hardly feel it in certain places. Even the warmth of Klaus’ skin was lost on his fingertips and a few tingling patches on his hand, and some of the places where their arms were touching. He tried to ignore it and focus on their discussion instead, since he was still incapable of dealing with that yet. 

“Well, the vice principal at the middle school was… a huge piece of shit, frankly. He owed Julio a lot of money for drugs and girls, and he’d already been given plenty of time extensions to get his debts paid up, but he never did…”

“Jesus, you were supposed to kill him, weren’t you?” Klaus asked, covering his mouth with his hand and frowning. 

“Yes, but I wouldn’t. I never wanted to kill anyone else, especially not for that fucking gang. I just wanted to be free of all of it, and try to be normal. So I got a job in that first week at a boxing gym. Just general custodial work, which was fine, and the owner really liked me. He offered me a place to stay there and paid me under the table. He’s actually the one that encouraged me to leave the gang. He got me connected with Mario to make me a fake ID and stuff so I could leave the state, because he didn’t want to see me be sucked into the life of street crime and gang violence forever. I guess he lost his son that way, so it was personal for him,” Diego said. 

Then he had a horrible thought that hadn’t occurred to him yet - if ChaCha had got to Mario, what if she got to Al, too? He had to immediately shake the notion away. He couldn’t handle even thinking about the possibility. He couldn’t handle yet another person being killed or hurt on his behalf. 

“Aww, he must have been a good hearted man,” Klaus said, shifting on the couch enough that he could lay his head lightly on Diego’s shoulder.

“Yeah, in a way. He was grumpy and yelled a lot, but he would do anything for you. I guess he was the closest I’ve ever had to a real friend, even if it was just for a couple months,” Diego said, trying like hell to not let himself get choked up. He had no way of knowing if anything happened to Al, but even the possibility made his heart heavy with guilt and grief. 

“Well now you have two friends,” Klaus said, bumping Diego’s knee with his own. “I’m glad you got out of the gang when you did, though. That’s not who you are.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure that’s true,” Diego whispered, tipping his head to the side to rest his cheek on Klaus’ hair. He wasn’t sure how it was possible to feel so dark when he was surrounded by bright morning sunlight, warm breeze and sweet company. 

“It is too true. You’ve never wanted anyone to get hurt, it’s been out of your control,” Klaus said quietly. He reached his other hand over to lay it on the other side of Diego’s hand he was already holding, rubbing his thumb over the top of Diego’s wrist. 

“Neither of those things are true either,” Diego said. “I’ve wanted to hurt and _have_ hurt lots of people on purpose.”

“Okay, well, so have I, in different ways. I told you I’ve hurt every person that’s ever tried to love me, Diego,” Klaus said. “But you can be better. We both can. You obviously wanted to get out of the gang for some reason, and I think it’s because you _want_ to be better than that. So we start now, okay?”

“That’s a different tune than you were singing last night,” Diego said, then wished he hadn’t. He was still nowhere near ready to talk about Klaus killing ChaCha, which is what had made Klaus question his morality earlier. 

“Maybe, but I have to force myself to believe that things are going to get better for us. Or else why am I bothering to actually get clean, you know? Why are we still fighting if the outcome is still going to be misery forever? I have to believe we will beat this, all of it, and there will be light at the end of this shitty tunnel eventually,” Klaus said. The optimism was as fragile as the tea cup by his feet, but Diego knew it was the only thing that was keeping Klaus’ shit together.

“You will definitely beat this,” Diego whispered, then turned his head enough to give the top of Klaus’ head a quick kiss.

“And so will _you_ ,” Klaus said firmly. “You’re not your dad, Diego, and I’m still _so_ sorry I said that. I don’t actually think that at all or I wouldn’t be here with you.”

Diego was quiet for a while, because he had no idea how to respond. He didn’t share the same optimism as Klaus, because he knew himself too well. It didn’t matter if he tried to be a saint from this point forward, he would eventually fuck up again. It’s what he’d been best at his whole life. He couldn’t control his temper, no matter how much he wanted to be better and it would inevitably lead to another disaster. Another reason for him to hate himself, another person being hurt because of him. 

On the other hand, Klaus was right about one thing. If there was no reprieve from all the bad, why keep fighting? He couldn’t deny that just having Klaus in his life made him want to be a better person. Diego never wanted him to have to suffer again for any bullshit he pulled, and at this point he would do anything to make sure that didn’t happen. He wasn’t stupid enough to _really_ believe his feelings for Klaus could overpower all the hate and rage he had inside forever, though. Sure, Klaus was like glittery Lisa Frank stickers stuck all over his heart, but they still couldn’t patch up all the damage it had taken all his life. 

He rolled his eyes at himself and sighed heavily. Maybe Klaus was right about him being an emo kid after all, because that last thought sounded exactly like some lame shit on the angsty albums he used to listen to. He needed to lighten up, even if it was just on the outside. Klaus was going to need him to be positive if he was going to keep clean beyond just their time being stuck here. 

At some point while Diego was having his depressing thoughts Klaus had nodded off against his shoulder. The tea must have kicked in, or at least the exhaustion was finally stronger than the insomnia. His dead weight was starting to actually hurt Diego’s arm, but he didn’t want to wake him just yet. He had only started snoring softly in the last few minutes, so Diego let him rest a while longer to make sure he would be sleepy enough to make it back to the bedroom without losing it.

After another silent but painful 15 minutes, Agnes poked her head in the sunroom.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt, but I switched your laundry for you,” she said.

“Oh, thank you,” Diego said, wondering if there was ever going to be a limit to Agnes’ helpfulness. 

“I just wanted to tell you that I have some yard work to do out front, so if you come in and I’m gone, that’s where I’ll be,” she said. Diego remembered he had something to ask her before she ducked out.

“Hey wait, do you have Hazel’s number?” Diego asked. Agnes blushed for some reason and looked a little sheepish.

“Uh, yes I do, why?” 

“Do you know when he will be back?”

“No, but he usually comes by every few days. Is there something you need? I can dial the number and hand you the phone.”

“I was just thinking that we should get some popsicles or something for him,” Diego said, gesturing to Klaus. “His throat hurts and I figured that would help. Maybe some suckers or something, too?”

“Oh, that’s a great idea, sweetheart. They have those at the grocery store in town, but I’m sure Hazel wouldn’t mind bringing some when he comes by,” she said, nodding. “I’ll get the phone for you.”

“Actually, do you mind calling him? I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but him and I are uh- not really friends. Plus, he won’t say no to you,” Diego said, smiling at her for maybe the first time ever. 

“Oh, sure, I can do that. But he likes you, Diego, don’t worry,” she said, waving her hand that was holding some green gardening gloves.

“I tried to punch him like two days ago, I don’t think so,” Diego said, shaking his head. “But I am not a big fan of him either, so it’s best we just keep our conversations to a minimum.”

“Alright, honey, I get it. But he’s not as bad as you might think,” Agnes said, even though she didn’t sound like she thought she was going to convince him. 

Diego snorted. “Yeah, I’ll believe that when he stops talking about Klaus like he’s garbage.”

“Oh no, I didn’t realize he was doing that. I’m sorry, I’ll talk to him,” she said.

“No, don’t bother. It doesn’t mean shit if he just stops because he gets scolded for it,” Diego said.

“You guys talk to much,” Klaus interrupted, then picked his head up and rubbed one of his eyes with his knuckles like a sleepy toddler. Diego couldn’t help but smile at him when he yawned too. How did Diego find him so adorable even doing the simplest shit?

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Diego said, flexing his hand and wrist now that Klaus wasn’t leaning on it.

“‘S okay,” Klaus said, then leaned down to pick up the tea cup. “I’m going to go lay in bed though, the sunlight is hurting my head now.”

“Alright, I’ll come with you. I could honestly use a nap too, I think,” Diego said with a nod. He had slept a while against the door earlier, and a couple hours on the couch before that, but none of it had been restful.

“That sounds amazing. Gonna be a smelly nap, though,” Klaus said, standing up and shuffling toward Agnes. 

“Agnes is going to have to burn those sheets, probably,” Diego joked, because it might be true. His clothes were still in the dryer and he didn’t want to bathe before he had a nap. They would just have to keep being stinky for a while. 

“I’m sure they will wash up just fine, boys,” she said with a smile, holding her arm out to guide Klaus out of the room. 

Diego briefly wondered if Klaus was going to correct her about the gender thing, but he wasn’t sure how to ask, especially because he wasn’t 100% sure he fully understood himself yet. He’d hardly even thought about it since Klaus told him at the beginning of this insane journey. He made a mental note to figure out how to ask more about it when Klaus was feeling better. 

It took a surprising amount of effort to drag himself off the couch, but Diego had to make sure Klaus made it to bed before he got distracted and woke up fully. When he walked in the kitchen Agnes was gone and Klaus was standing in the light of the open fridge door, staring blankly at everything inside. Case in point. 

“C’mon, let’s go lay down,” Diego said, walking around the counter and taking Klaus by the elbow to steer him away.

“Wait,” Klaus mumbled, reaching in the fridge to grab a packet of string cheese out of a drawer. “M’kay, let’s go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Next Chapter on 6/19 ♥


	11. The Hierophant: Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** omg sorry for the delay in my regular posting time, but here it is! still on Friday so it counts lol  
> ** this chapter has some ptsd content, if you need the warning

_** September 5th, 2015, 5:13am ** _

Diego had the nightmare again - the memory of murdering his father replaying as a dream, as it always did. He bolted upright and tried to remember where he was while struggling to get his breathing under control. He squinted into the darkness and realized he was... on a couch? - oh right, in Agnes’ living room, in the middle of Nothingtown, Oregon, because he was a wanted felon again. Right, right.

He noticed his book had fallen on the floor, pages down and bent awkwardly under both covers. Apparently he’d passed out while reading it the night before. Once he and Klaus had laid down for a ridiculously long nap, the rest of the day had been so uneventful that Diego had had nothing to do but read and watch TV with Agnes. He had finally bathed, which was weird because he hadn’t taken a _bath_ since he was like 12 years old, but he still felt a ton better just from not smelling anymore. Agnes had re-dressed his wounds after the bath, and it looked gnarly but he seemed to have miraculously avoided any serious infection. The nerve damage was still a problem, though, but he tried to tell himself that it would get better. It had to.

After their nap yesterday Klaus had felt worse rather than better. The body aches had kicked up again and he had been stuck in the bathroom for long stretches at a time. Around dinner time he had told Diego to just leave him be and to lock the door behind himself just in case. Diego hated still needing to do that, but he did as Klaus asked. He figured if it had still been bad enough for Klaus to ask for it specifically, he must have been having those bad thoughts again. It was the 4th day now, though. The peak of his physical symptoms should taper off over the next couple days, and maybe he would start to perk up. Diego missed his chaotic, upbeat energy more than he ever thought he would. He would give anything just to be sitting in the car with Klaus again, listening to him ramble endlessly about anything and everything, with his sparkling eyes, expressive body language and crackling wit. The withdrawal had completely extinguished his fire, and Diego didn’t realize how much it had warmed him until he lost it.

Diego interrupted his own train of thought with a hiccup that forced acid up into the back of his throat. He shuddered and swallowed hard, deciding he needed to ask Agnes if she had any Tums. She had made spaghetti for dinner and it was fantastic, especially after not having an actual meal in days, but lately garlic and hamburger were guaranteed heartburn for him and it was extremely annoying. He was too young for this shit.

It had been way too long since he’d checked on Klaus, so he pushed himself off the couch stiffly, then padded to the bedroom. He wasn’t sure why he felt anxious as he unlocked the door, but he pushed it open anyway and poked his head in. The bedside lamp was on, and Klaus was sprawled over his bed face down, in just his jeans. Except he’d ripped off the legs and made extremely short, ragged cut offs out of them at some point in the night. When he heard the door open he turned his head on the pillow and smiled at Diego.

“Hey, did you sleep okay?” he asked, pushing himself up on the bed into a sitting position. 

“Uh, yeah, sure. Did you get hot or something?” Diego asked, stepping into the room and blinking at Klaus with raised eyebrows. Klaus looked down at his shirtless chest and shorts. 

“Yes, but I’m not wearing underwear and I didn’t want you or Agnes to have to open the door to me with my bare ass out, so,” he said, gesturing to his shorts.

“What did you even use to cut them?” Diego asked, walking up to the bed and sitting on the edge in front of Klaus. 

“The knife in your bag,” Klaus said nonchalantly, like it wasn’t fucking alarming for him to keep using a murder weapon for mundane activities. 

“Jesus, I can’t believe I forgot that in here,” Diego said, aghast. He had brought his bag back in the room after his bath and forgot to take it back out with him when he locked Klaus in last night. That could have went _so_ fucking badly, he felt like such a stupid asshole. He was making Hazel take that knife at the next possible opportunity. He should have just left the damn thing in the motel room with the gun so that weird nameless dude could have gotten rid of it. 

“It’s okay, Diego. I didn’t do anything crazy. I’m pretty set on staying alive to pester you for a very long time, don’t worry,” he said, smiling and leaning forward to kiss Diego’s shoulder. 

While Diego was still processing that touching sentiment Klaus moved up to sit on his knees, leaned in closer and started… sniffing him? Klaus snuffled up his shoulder and against the bare skin of his neck making exaggerated sniffing noises. Diego hunched up his shoulder to his cheek, blocking Klaus’ nose from touching his neck because it tickled like crazy and was also fucking weird.

“Dude,” he said, lifting his hand to Klaus’ bare chest and pushing him back, giving him his best what-the-fuck face. He wasn’t angry, just confused because never in his life had he been _sniffed,_ at least not by a person.

“Sorry, you just smell really fucking good now,” Klaus said, giggling and sitting back on his feet.

“Oh. Yeah, Agnes only had rose petal scented soap in the bathroom so I must still smell like flowers. Even though it’s been like 12 hours since I used it,” he said, lifting his hand to rub the spot on his neck that Klaus had sniffed. It was still tingling and making him feel warm and he couldn’t decide if he was okay with it or not. “Not a scent I would pick for myself, obviously.”

“I love it. I think I feel okay enough to finally get clean, too, actually,” Klaus said, and he did look at least a little more alive today than he had so far since they arrived.

“I can go run you a bath,” Diego said. “I think I just heard Agnes walk to the kitchen so she won’t be in there anytime soon.”

“Yes, please draw me a hot bath like I’m a wealthy Victorian maiden. Does the tub have claw feet, too?” Klaus said with a cute smirk. 

“No, sorry to ruin your fantasy. It’s actually one of those neat corner baths shaped like a pie piece. Still fancy, if that’s what you’re into,” Diego said, feeling himself smirk back because it was so hard to not smile when Klaus did. 

“Amazing. I’ll pretend I’m in the penthouse suite at the Four Seasons instead. I’ll be the smoking hot sugar baby of some big shot CEO that’s showering me in luxury while he’s on a business trip away from his wife,” Klaus said, pretending to preen long hair and bat his eyelashes. 

Diego laughed and shook his head. He really adored Klaus’ weird and creative imagination, because he would never in his life think of that sort of scenario out of nowhere himself. Klaus must be feeling better because Diego could finally see a little bit of that spark in him that he had been missing so much.

“Whatever makes you happy,” Diego said, staring at Klaus affectionately. “I take it you want bubbles then?”

“Like you even need to ask,” Klaus said, giving him a wink. “I’ll take a gold-rimmed flute of champagne with diamonds in the glass, too.”

“You got it,” Diego said, his heart feeling lighter than it had in awhile as he stood up.

“Thanks, babe,” Klaus said, making Diego blush. 

He was still shaking his head and smirking as he walked to the bathroom across the hall. Agnes was definitely in the kitchen now, so he locked the door leading to her bedroom just in case and walked over to the tub. It had a high, white marble ledge, and then a frosted window behind it in the back corner with some live ivy plants on the sill. Their vines were long and draped over the back of the tub in both directions, down over one of the edges and almost to the floor.

It really was the fanciest thing in the entire house, and he knew Klaus was going to love it. He leaned over the tub, pulled the stopper up and then turned both of the clear crystal knobs. Steam rose up as hot water poured out of the gold faucet, and then bubbles formed on the surface as he squired a generous amount of floral-scented bubble bath into the water. Then he walked over to a long white cupboard next to the toilet that stretched from floor to ceiling, picked out a pink washcloth and a fluffy, white towel from one of the shelves, then set them on the ledge.

“Alright, it’s all set,” Diego said upon returning to the bedroom. Klaus had already collected some of the toiletries from the bag Hazel had brought, clutching them to his chest in one arm.

“You’re wonderful, thank you,” Klaus said, reaching up and petting Diego’s cheek briefly as he moved past him and then walked out. Diego could smell the faint hint of coffee over the floral smell of the bubble bath and decided coffee sounded amazing.

“Aww, a smile looks really good on you,” Agnes said from over at the table as soon as he walked in the kitchen. The acknowledgement made him immediately frown because of who he was as a person. Agnes rolled her eyes softly to herself. “Oh, jeez. It’s okay to be happy once in a while, honey. Nobody around here is judging you.”

Diego ignored her and headed for the coffee pot by the sink. He poured himself a cup and held it to his nose, inhaling deeply. The smell calmed him back down and he scolded himself for being rude. He turned and walked back to the table to sit with her, because it’s not like he had anything else to do while Klaus was busy. 

“Sorry,” he said as he took a seat in the wooden chair from the dining room across from her. “I’m just not used to people calling me out on it, I guess.”

“It’s okay. So, you’re having a good morning, then?” she asked, smiling around the lip of her coffee cup as she took a sip.

“It’s been better than others lately,” he said, letting the corner of his mouth quirk just a little. “I think he might be out of the woods, at least for the really bad parts.”

“Do you think he wants breakfast? I can make you boys some bacon and eggs. They are fresh, my neighbor down the road gives me a dozen every week,” she said, setting her cup down and moving to stand. 

“Wait, don't start that yet. I’m not sure he’s ready to eat that yet, but you can ask when he’s out of the bath,” Diego said. As soon as his sentence ended he heard noisy tweeting from the living room. Agnes’ birds were awake and ready to see the sunrise. 

“Oh, I have to let them out today. They are already grumpy that I didn’t yesterday,” she said, standing up anyway to go get them. 

As soon as she returned with the birds on her hands Diego tried to control his face. He really didn’t like them being loose, but it wasn’t his house. It was a conflicting feeling because his mom liked birds too, and he wanted to like them at least nostalgically, but he just couldn’t. He watched Agnes head out the back door with them, and he saw the sunroom light switch on and her sit down in one of the chairs through the little window.

He was just starting in on his second cup of coffee when Klaus came into the kitchen. He looked clean, relaxed and happy, and it made Diego smile again. He was fully dressed in his palm tree tank top and a pair of Diego’s sweats he had cinched tight around his skinny hips with the drawstring so they didn’t fall off. The last time he saw that tank top Klaus had used it to soak up Diego’s blood in the car right after he got shot. It was almost alarming to see him in it again, but they didn’t have very many options. Almost all the new clothes Klaus had bought at the thrift store had been left back in the motel room, except for like 3 of them that were all covered in blood that night. At least Agnes’ washer did a good job getting the bloodstains out of everything. 

Diego also noticed Klaus’ patch was gone and he had a cigarette tucked behind one ear like a pencil. He couldn’t be annoyed about it, even though he wished Klaus would have stuck with the patches. He could probably only handle cutting one vice at a time, and that was understandable. Diego was actually surprised how easy it had been for himself to just… stop, but he knew it wouldn’t be that easy for just anyone. He had an ironclad will once he put his mind to something, for everything except anger management.

“Does this look stupid?” Klaus asked as he walked over to Diego, stroking his chin. 

He had finally shaved, but left a little bit of a moustache and goatee. It wasn’t very far off from Diego’s style, he just didn’t connect the moustache with the beard and it was more sparse since it was new. It made him look older, unlike his clean-shaven babyface that Diego had been used to seeing him with for the last couple months at Sharp Shot.

“No, not at all. Makes you look like a grown up,” Diego said just as Klaus stopped in front of him, except he stopped right between Diego’s knees. The smell of rose petal soap, shaving cream and minty mouthwash filled his nose just from the proximity. 

“I’m not sure if that’s what I was going for, but I’m glad you don’t hate it,” Klaus said, smiling down at him.

“No, it looks good. Suits you,” Diego said, but he started to get nervous because Klaus was _close._

He shouldn’t be nervous, they’ve been a lot closer when they were lying in a twin bed together, but Klaus was about to _kiss_ him, he could just sense it. And it happened, Klaus rested his hands on Diego’s cheeks and dipped his head down to kiss him. He panicked, turning his face in Klaus’ hands and jerking his whole upper body backward with a soft noise of discontent. His heart rate skyrocketed and he couldn’t get a deep enough breath as he stared at the table next to him. He couldn’t look at Klaus’ rejected face, not yet. 

“Gosh, Diego I’m so sorry,” he said, taking his hands away like he’d been burned and stepping back out of Diego’s space. “I-I thought that would be okay.”

“It is, but, no- I’m sorry, I’m just-” Diego stammered, squeezing his eyes shut and forcing himself to take a deep breath. “I don’t know if I’m still there. I n-need time to-”

He didn’t understand why he was reacting this way when he _liked it_ when Klaus kissed him, but it also felt like too much right now. They hadn’t kissed since the last time Diego freaked out, since right before… before ChaCha. There was such a disconnect between their time together before then and now for him. Diego wasn’t sure he was emotionally in the same place he’d been when he let Klaus kiss him last time, and he couldn’t just fall right back into it so easily. 

“Okay, whatever you need. I’m so _so_ sorry,” Klaus said. Diego forced himself to look at Klaus’ face, and it was just as devastated as he knew it would be.

“It’s okay, you didn’t do anything bad, Klaus,” Diego said, reaching out to take Klaus’ hand and pull him closer again. Klaus let himself be pulled closer but he still looked afraid that he fucked up and did something wrong. Diego owed him an explanation but he had no idea how to explain something to someone that he couldn’t even explain to himself. “I’m just not sure I’m still ready for that like before. It’s not _you,_ though.You’re perfect, I’m just a mess and I can’t really handle that yet. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, I totally understand. You already told me that, so I should have-”

Diego pulled him close enough to hug him around the middle, burying his face in Klaus’ stomach, because he still wanted to be _close_ , just not kissing. But he could feel that Klaus was stiff with fear, keeping his arms at his sides instead of hugging him back. He was afraid to touch Diego and trigger his anxiety now, and that made him hate himself even more. 

Every time this panic shit happened it felt like two steps back, when all he wanted to do was let Klaus kiss him and touch him without fear. Maybe someday he could, but not soon enough. Klaus was such a tactile, affectionate person, even touching strangers like they were old friends. It was so easy for him. Diego wished he could be even a fraction as open with other people, but there was no way. How could he shake something so deeply ingrained in him for his entire life, thanks to his dad? The only person he wasn’t afraid to let touch him was Grace, but he hadn’t felt her touch in five years. Being both touch starved and touch repulsed at the same time was maddening and he hated it so fucking much. He knew Klaus would never hurt him, never even dream of it, but there was absolutely no way for Diego to bypass the neurotic bullshit and just let things happen naturally.

Diego didn’t let go for a while, and Klaus didn’t try to pull away but he didn’t move to comfort him either. He let Diego hug him as long as he needed though, and that was still nice, albeit embarrassing and awkward. Right before Diego let go he heard Klaus’ stomach grumble. 

“Do you think you can eat something with substance today?” he asked, ignoring everything that just happened because there were no easy answers or solutions to that problem.

“Sure, but my throat still hurts so like. Maybe eggs or something soft?” Klaus said, still giving Diego concerned eyes. 

“I’ll ask Agnes if she minds if I cook,” Diego said, standing up and avoiding Klaus’ gaze. His anxiety had subsided for the most part, but the self-loathing and embarrassment still lingered, and having Klaus look at him like he was broken wasn’t helping. 

“You know how to cook?” Klaus asked, watching Diego turn to open the back door.

“Yeah. Is that weird?” he asked, pausing at the door to finally look back at him. Thankfully the concern was gone and Klaus was smiling again. 

“No, why would that be weird? It’s _awesome._ I can’t make anything except like, a grilled cheese. And that’s only if I don’t get distracted and walk away from the stove,” Klaus said.

“Hang on,” Diego said, opening the back door only enough to poke his head in. He wasn’t going out there with the birds. Agnes was watering the tree with a small watering can next to the chair she was sitting in, a tiny finch perched on her shoulder like a pirate with a parrot. “Hey Agnes, would you mind if I made some eggs?”

“Oh, I can do it, honey, it’s no trouble,” she said, setting down the watering can and standing up. 

“I appreciate that, but do you mind if I do it myself? I haven’t actually cooked anything in forever,” he said, hoping he didn’t have to admit how much he missed it. She seemed to understand and she nodded.

“Oh, that’s fine, too. Butter, cheese and eggs are in the refrigerator door, the frying pans are in a stack in the oven. Do you know how to use a gas stove?”

“Yep, it’s all I’ve ever used,” he said. 

“Great, help yourself then. If you want fresh chives or basil they are in little baggies next to the butter. There’s also fresh cherry tomatoes and mushrooms in the left drawer if you want omelettes,” she said, smiling at him warmly.

“Omelettes sound excellent, actually. Do you want one?” he asked. She shook her head. “Alright, thank you.” 

Diego shut the door and Klaus looked pleased behind him. 

“What?” Diego asked. Klaus smiled even more.

“You’re cooking for me. It’s really sweet,” he said, stepping back so Diego could get to work in the kitchen.

“I guess,” Diego said, feeling the blush return to his cheeks again.

“It is! Nobody has cooked for me unless I paid them to in years, except Agnes, and now you,” Klaus said.

“You know what, me either,” Diego said, conceding that maybe it was a little sweet to have someone want to make food for you.

“I’m sorry, all I can do is maybe put a poptart in the toaster for you,” Klaus said, leaning his butt on the counter as he watched Diego get started.

Diego headed for the stove, opening the oven door and pulling out the biggest frying pan. He set it on the stove and lit the burner to get the pan warm enough to melt butter. When he opened the fridge he noticed the eggs were taken out of the carton and set in built in groves for them in the door, making him smile about Agnes being kind of adorable for taking the time to do that. He pulled out an armful of farm fresh brown eggs, then grabbed the cheese and herbs with the other hand. 

“Do you want cheese?”

“Yes, please.”

“Tomatoes or mushrooms?”

“Just mushrooms. Tomatoes in eggs seems weird,” Klaus said, rubbing at his foreign-feeling moustache absent-mindedly.

“It’s not, but the acidity might piss your throat off, anyway,” Diego said, opening another cupboard to find a mixing bowl. 

Klaus nodded, but Diego didn’t see him. He was busy looking for a cutting board to chop up tomatoes, mushrooms and herbs. He set the cutting board on the counter a short distance from Klaus’ butt, since he had hopped up to sit on the counter. He watched Diego pull a knife out of a drawer and do a neat flippy trick, smiling the whole time. When Diego started dicing up tomatoes and mushrooms Klaus was looking down at his hands, blatantly gawking like he was watching an impossible magic trick. 

“Holy shit,” he said, tearing his eyes away to look at Diego’s face. “That was so fucking fast!”

“What?”

“The way you just chopped all that up like I watched you on fast-forward! How did you learn to do that? If I did that I would absolutely chop off every finger.”

“Oh, uh, practice I guess?” Diego said, blushing again. It was flattering, but had been busy worrying about not being able to feel the vegetables under his fingertips, so it was hard to pat himself on the back at the moment. It was such a contrasting mix of emotions that he had to force himself to stop thinking about both. “She has some fresh spinach in there too, would you eat that?”

“Sure, but not like a shitload of it,” Klaus said, but he wasn’t done with the first conversation. “So when did you have time to practice your mad chopping skills in jail? Did you work in the kitchen there?”

Diego scoffed and laughed at the same time, making it come out as a snort. 

“Nah, white people had that shit on lock. I did custodial work,” Diego said, pulling the spinach out of the fridge. “My mom actually taught me everything I know about cooking.”

“Well she did an amazing job from what I can tell so far,” Klaus said, leaning back on his palms and watching intently like it was a cooking show. Diego had to ignore him, but he appreciated the sentiment. 

Cracking the eggs, whipping them, watching them bubble in the pan until they were perfect - Diego missed all of it so much. He had a little kitchenette in the place he was renting from Al, but it just was not a great workspace so he still bought pre-made food most of the time. The smell was amazing, his stomach rumbling excitedly in anticipation as he sprinkled cheese and vegetables over half of the eggs in the pan. He waited a few seconds and folded it over, cooking it a little bit longer on both sides. 

“Can you grab two plates out of that corner cupboard?” he asked. Klaus hopped to it immediately, setting them side by side on the counter next to the stove.

“Do you want toast?” Diego asked, cutting the giant omelette in half along the middle and dishing them onto the plates. 

“No, this should be more than enough. I don’t want to push my stomach too far, you know? It’s better but who knows if it’s for sure over,” Klaus said. He was busy opening drawers looking for silverware, letting out a cute little “ha!” noise of triumph when he found them. He plucked out two forks and stabbed them in the top of the picturesque omelettes, and Diego tried not to shudder about the ruined aesthetic.

“This one’s yours,” Diego said, pointing at the one without tomatoes. Klaus nodded and carried them to the table while Diego poured them both a glass of milk.

Diego was just about to sit down when Agnes opened the back door and walked in.

“Oh wow, it smells amazing in here,” she said, sniffing the air. 

“Because apparently Diego was a secret master chef and didn’t tell anyone,” Klaus said, making Diego roll his eyes and blush again.

“You haven’t even tried it yet. What if it’s actually gross?” Diego said as he sat down. Agnes surprised him by patting him on the shoulder as she walked by, and he tried not to jump out of his skin. Just when his nerves had finally calmed down from the stupid kiss incident earlier, now he was on edge again. What the fuck was wrong with him? 

“Pfft, not possible,” Klaus said, cutting off an enormous piece and stuffing it in his mouth. Apparently neither he nor Agnes noticed that Diego almost left the planet just from a simple touch.

“I’m going to go strip those sheets and get them in the washer,” Agnes said as she walked out of the room. Diego wanted to call after her that he was planning on doing it himself, but it was too late. She was just hellbent on being the most attentive host in history.

“Diego, this is literally the best egg I’ve ever eaten,” Klaus said with his mouth full, pointing at his plate with his fork.

“Now I know you’re exaggerating,” Diego said, shaking his head and tucking into his own plate. Watching the cheese ooze out of the sides as he cut into the omelette was so satisfying he almost forgot that Agnes had startled him. 

“I am not! Just let me compliment you, damn,” Klaus said.

“Well I’m glad you like it, anyway,” Diego said. It really was a good feeling having someone enjoy the food you make, and it had been so long since he’d had that pleasure. 

They both ate every morsel, hardly speaking as they both applied all their attention to the plate. Klaus finished his glass of milk, then yawned and gave Diego a sleepy smile. It was still early, but bathing and eating a full meal was more activity than he’d done in days. Diego certainly wouldn’t blame him if he already needed a nap. He might even consider lying down with him for a while too, just because it sounded like a nice followup to a good meal.

“Alright, it’s all set in there, guys,” Agnes said as she walked back in the kitchen, her arms full of pink sheets. “I’ll have Hazel take that board down when he comes over later so you can open the window, too. Unless you think you still need it?”

“I think that should be okay,” Klaus said, then leaned back over the back of the chair in a dramatic stretch. Agnes nodded and headed toward the laundry room. When Klaus leaned forward again he started collecting the dishes on the table. “We shouldn’t leave all these dishes for her. Let’s do them. I’ll wash, you dry.”

“You’re absolutely right,” Diego said. He nodded and grabbed his milk glass, then stood and followed Klaus to the sink.

It was going great, they were giggling and having a weirdly good time doing a chore together, and then Diego had to ruin it. He was in the middle of drying one of the glasses when it slipped out of his numb fingertips, smashing on the floor in a hundred pieces. The second the sound of it shattering hit his ears he was 15 again, standing in his childhood kitchen and staring at glass strewn across the floor. 

He couldn’t breathe, petrified with fear because there was no way he was going to escape a beating for this. He felt his knees buckle and he landed in the glass, starting to frantically collect the pieces as fast as possible before his dad came in to see what all the noise had been. Grace came in first, kneeling in front of him and helping him collect the shards in a little pile. 

“I got it mom, just get out of here,” he whispered harshly, taking her hands and pushing them back in her lap. And then louder, _“Just go before he thinks you did it!”_

“Honey, it’s alright. You’re not in trouble,” Grace said softly, reaching out to touch his shoulder and make him look at her face.

He could still see Grace looking back at him, but he could hear… _Klaus,_ and he wasn’t supposed to be there. Diego felt another hand on his back and when he looked up he saw someone standing over him, but they were blurred by tears. He blinked hard, took a ragged breath and then opened them again, and he was back in Agnes’ kitchen. Klaus was looking down at him with alarmed eyes, saying something he couldn’t quite understand yet because the blood was pounding in his ears. He looked back at Grace but she was gone. It was just Agnes kneeling in front of him wearing the same concerned expression as Klaus. He had to get out of there.

When Klaus came to find Diego a few minutes later he was sitting in the grass with his back leaned against the house. He had no memory of how he even got out here, just that he was still breathing hard and covering his face when Klaus rounded the corner to his left. Diego let his head thump back against the house siding, keeping his eyes squeezed shut as he tried to regain some composure. Klaus watched him quietly for a minute, and he seemed to be keeping his distance a few feet away to not spook Diego any further.

“Hey… so, what was that?” Klaus asked. Diego heard the sound of a lighter flick and then smelled smoke as Klaus lit the cigarette he’d had tucked behind his ear. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Diego didn’t speak, but he did open his eyes and turn his head to look at Klaus. He looked beautiful in the sunshine, so much better than he had the last few days. He was still a little gaunt and tired, but beautiful nonetheless. Diego let himself be distracted by the way the sun made his green eyes even brighter than usual, even if they were full of concern. It helped him breathe a little easier, but he was still beyond humiliated that everyone saw what just happened in the house. 

“Did you have like a flashback or something?” Klaus asked, sitting down on his knees in the grass a couple feet from Diego and ashing his smoke. 

Diego shrugged.

“I guess,” he said, his voice froggy and frail at the same time. 

“I figured when you called Agnes ‘mom,’” Klaus said with a nod. Diego had to close his eyes again before any more embarrassing tears leaked out. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” Diego said, reaching up to rub his eyes with his right hand. He heard Klaus gasp before he could, so he opened his eyes and looked at him first.

“Oh shit, you got cut,” Klaus said, shuffling closer on his knees in the grass until he was close enough to examine Diego better. “Is there any glass left in there? Doesn’t it hurt?”

Diego looked at his shaky hand and saw several deep but narrow slices across his fingertips, a few trickles of blood running down his fingers. He hadn’t even noticed, but at the moment he wasn’t sure if it was just from the adrenaline and stress or from the nerve damage.

“N-no. I don’t feel it at all,” he said, unable to tear his eyes away from the bloody tracks leaking down his fingers and into his palm. 

“Can I see?” Klaus asked, holding his palm up for Diego to set his hand on. Diego complied, and Klaus stared at his cuts critically. “Here hold this.”

He held out his cigarette for Diego to take in his left hand so his other hand was free. Diego did that too, wondering how two hands would help the situation. Klaus wiped the blood off the end of Diego’s fingertips with his thumb, then started squeezing and moving the cuts, presumably looking for stray glass pieces.

“Stop me if I’m hurting you,” he said, and Diego shook his head.

“I haven’t been able to feel anything in those fingers for days, you’re not hurting me,” Diego said, then bit his lip. He hadn’t said it out loud yet and he felt his face trying to crumple up to cry again. He pushed it back, swallowing hard when Klaus looked up from his fingertips to his eyes with a frown.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean they are basically dead. The bullet, it… it did more damage than we initially thought, I think,” Diego said, feeling his heart sink impossibly lower than it already was. Klaus’ mouth fell open slightly and he stared at Diego for way too long. “I’m fine, Klaus.”

“Jesus, no you’re not! Nerve damage is serious, Diego, fuck!” Klaus said, sounding more like a stern mom than Diego had ever heard him sound before. “You need to call Luther and see if he can find you a doctor. Why didn’t you say something?”

“I don’t know, Klaus. Maybe because I didn’t feel like dealing with it on top of the 800 other fucked up things that have been happening the last four days,” Diego said, pulling his hand out of Klaus’ and handing him back his cigarette. That moment was the hardest he’d had so far with quitting, because he could really use the stress relief at the moment, but he forced himself to give it back, anyway. Klaus took it and stared hard at Diego. 

“I-I can’t believe it’s already been four days,” Klaus said. Clearly he hadn’t really thought about the passage of time while he’d been sick. 

“Well, technically only three and a half, because it was super late Tuesday night. But yeah, it’s been a minute now,” Diego said, happy he’d managed to distract Klaus from his nerv- … from his problems. 

“Fuck, today is Friday, isn’t it?” Klaus said, taking the last hit of his cigarette pensively, then flicking it off in the grass. “That means it’s been a week since... since we left Philadelphia. It seems so long ago, but a week isn’t really that long, huh?”

“Nope.”

“I guess I have been distracted,” Klaus said, rubbing his new beard with the fingers without Diego's blood on them. He seemed to remember they were having a serious moment before that and re-focused. “Alright well, nerve damage or not, we need to clean those cuts. Come back inside?”

“Alright,” Diego said, glaring at the cigarette butt still smoking in the grass a few feet away. He was more annoyed by hearing Klaus say ‘nerve damage’ out loud, but he couldn’t say that. “Pick up that butt before we go in. Don’t leave that shit for Agnes, she obviously takes pride in her yard work.”

“Oh, right, sorry,” Klaus said, picking himself up off the ground and brushing grass off the knees of his pants. Diego watched Klaus walk over and pick up the butt, then turn back to see if Diego was coming. “Let’s go.”

Once they were inside, standing in Agnes’ bathroom, Diego tried to argue that he could clean his own cuts but Klaus ignored him. He watched Klaus dig around in all the drawers under the bathroom counter like he owned the place, turning up another bottle of alcohol and some bandaids. Diego was afraid to even use a glass in someone else’s house, Klaus clearly had no such reservations. 

“Okay, come here,” Klaus said, uncapping the alcohol and waiting for Diego to turn his hand over. 

“I can apply a bandaid, Klaus,” he said, but held his hand out over the sink anyway. He didn’t even flinch when Klaus poured alcohol over his fingertips. It didn’t sting at all the way it did around the gunshot wound.

“I’m getting sick of seeing your blood. You need to keep that shit in your body from now on,” Klaus said, setting the alcohol down and tearing open a bandaid. 

“I’ll do my best,” Diego said, managing to smile in spite of everything. Klaus noticed and smiled back before turning his attention back to the cuts. Diego liked watching Klaus focus on things, even something as simple as wrapping bandaids around three of his fingers. He didn’t really think they were necessary, but he wanted Klaus to feel like he was helping. 

“Alright, that should be good,” Klaus said, crumpling up all the bandaid wrappers in one hand and then kissing Diego’s fingertips quickly with the other. A kiss to make it better, except it made Diego’s heart pang instead. He couldn’t feel Klaus’ lips against his fingers and it really, really sucked. 

“Thank you, nurse,” Diego said, trying to deflect the pain with jokes. Klaus smiled again, but his face split into a yawn. 

“Christ, I’m so tired and sore, still. I think I’m going to lay down for a bit,” he said, letting Diego’s hand go to rub his eyes. 

“Okay, I’m going to go apologize to Agnes for the mess and I’ll be right there,” Diego said, then he yawned, too. 

“She understands, you don’t have to say anything. Just come with me,” Klaus said, looking delighted that Diego wanted to nap with him. Diego nodded and decided he would basically follow Klaus anywhere he asked.

When Klaus walked in the bedroom first he laughed out loud, turning around and beaming at Diego. 

“Agnes is so fucking great, look,” he said, stepping aside to Diego could see past him to the beds. 

Except it wasn’t _beds_ anymore. Agnes had moved the nightstand between the twin beds out and shoved them together to make one big bed. He felt a blush rise on his cheeks because that means she _knows_ , but it was still really nice and thoughtful, so he certainly couldn’t complain.

“Wow,” was all he could say, but Klaus was not so speechless. 

“This is amazing,” Klaus said, running and pouncing on the bed on his hands and knees. “She even put like a mattress pad or something down so you can’t really feel the seam.”

He pulled down the top sheet, apparently King size because it stretched across both beds, and crawled under. After he got settled he patted the bed next to him, but then second-guessed himself.

“Wait, this is okay, right? I mean, you slept with me yesterda-”

“It’s fine, Klaus,” Diego said, finally kicking his body into gear. 

He flipped the light switch and walked over to the bed, crawling in next to Klaus. It felt a little weirder doing this now with both of them sober. Up until now it had just been for comfort while they were sick, but this time they were both fine, so it was… couple-y. Diego would be a big fucking liar if he said he didn’t like sleeping next to Klaus, though, so he forced himself to get over it and let it happen. He wanted it, Klaus wanted it, who cares what it meant other than that? 

As soon as Diego got under the covers and shimmied down on his back against the pillow, Klaus rolled over under his left arm and spooned up against his side. Diego wasn’t quite expecting _that,_ but he smiled anyway, resting his arm over Klaus’ shoulders as he snuggled his face against Diego’s chest. It was such a contrast to how he’d felt less than an hour ago in the kitchen. Then he’d felt terrified and alone, but now he felt calm and safe and… kind of adored? He couldn’t see Klaus’ face anymore but he could tell Klaus was grinning against his chest. It was impossible to not slip off to sleep feeling so warm and soft.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Next chapter June 26th! It may be a little later in the day like this one, though. I have some real life junk to do those two days but I'm going to try to have the story already saved as a draft so it's just ready to go.  
> \- Also, a little trivia just because I wanted you to know: the black hoodie with the pink patch on it that Klaus found in the thrift shop? It actually exists ;)
> 
> ↓▼↓
> 
> https://lawlesslovers.tumblr.com/post/621385176453447680/addictedkyng-right


	12. The Hierophant: Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** omg y'all I'm so sorry again for the huge delay (but it's a -huge- chapter tho, so hopefully that makes up for it!) I thought I would have it ready to go as a draft, but listen I have been going though it IRL, but that should be all taken care of now! Back to your regular posting schedule :D

_** September 5th, 2015, 12:45pm ** _

When Klaus woke up he was still tucked under Diego’s arm. His own arm under his body was dead asleep from lying on it for so long, and he had a nagging headache, but he felt so warm and comfortable otherwise that he didn’t really want to move. That is, until he noticed he was drooling a little bit on Diego’s shirt. He snapped his eyes open. It was mostly dark in there except for the light coming in from the cracked hallway door, and he had no idea what time it was. He quickly picked up the arm he had draped over Diego’s ribs and wiped the spit off his cheek, hoping Diego wouldn’t notice the small wet spot on his chest. 

Turns out moving still hurts too - Klaus’ muscles were beyond tense and sore from throwing up and shivering so violently for a couple days. Pushing himself up on his dead arm was even more painful, but he had to get some circulation back somehow. As the horrible experience of pins and needles attacked his arm, he tried to focus on Diego instead. He was still sleeping even though when Klaus sat up Diego’s arm had dropped off his shoulders to the bed. Klaus could just barely make out Diego’s features in the dark, and he wished it was lighter in there so he could study him closer without making him uncomfortable or self-conscious. 

Diego was the hardest person in the entire world to have a crush on. Klaus had never met someone so closed off from affection before, and when all Klaus wanted to do was kiss him and snuggle up to him, it was really hard to handle sometimes. When Diego rejected his kiss earlier that day it had been hurtful and confusing, and he wasn’t quite sure how to react. 

When it happened the first time back in the motel Klaus had understood, because Diego explained some of his experiences that had made him wary of sexual activity. That time Klaus had been straddling Diego’s lap and trying to get his clothes off. He could see how that was too much, but rejecting just a sweet kiss with no sexual connotation, when they had already done that with no issue before? It was the most confusing thing. Nevertheless, Klaus was still attracted to him in a big way, like bigger than anything he’d felt for another person in a long time. 

In the beginning Klaus assumed it was lust. Diego was super hot, especially with the whole bad boy in all black look, and Klaus would be a liar if he said the danger of it all wasn’t a turn on. He would have shamelessly slept with him that first night, if Diego had wanted, regardless of watching him murder a man hours before. People could say what they wanted about Klaus, but he had never been ashamed of his proclivity for being a giant hoe with a broken moral compass. It’s just how he’d survived as long as he had. 

There had been something else there besides lust too, though. Something that told Klaus he should go with Diego right from the get-go. Like, if he ignored it, he would have broken the timeline somehow or something. He felt like he was _meant_ to find Diego, be it fate or divine plan or just the universe pushing them together. He had learned better than to ignore his own intuition on these matters, so he went with Diego despite all the bloody red flags indicating that he might be a bad guy.

And then Klaus started to get to know Diego better and he was… weirdly charming in his own way, surprisingly sensitive and even sweet sometimes. Nothing like the callous, dickish bad boy that Klaus had initially pegged him for on looks and vibes alone. And digging even deeper, Diego was remarkably selfless and attentive, too. In just the last week Diego had done more for Klaus’ wellbeing than any person had since… since Dave. They were nothing alike in personality, and yet somehow oddly similar in the way they would bend over backwards just to make sure Klaus was okay. They both genuinely _cared_ about him, or at least Klaus _felt_ like Diego cared about him, even if he didn’t come right out and say it. 

Diego had taken care of Klaus during this withdrawal in a way nobody else would have, and he didn’t _have_ to do that. He could have left Klaus locked in the room to suffer for days without checking on him, without ignoring his own need for sleep and food and any comfort whatsoever while he waited for Klaus to be better. He didn’t though, even when Klaus had said unforgivably cruel things when he was at his worst, Diego still didn’t abandon him to deal with it alone. It meant more to Klaus than he could even possibly say, but he figured saying it would make Diego feel awkward, anyway. 

If Klaus said even _half_ the things he’d wanted to say Diego would certainly freak out. He wanted to shower him with affection and terms of endearment and gratitude all hours of the day. He wanted to tell Diego how beautiful he was, how strong and wonderful and sexy he was, but all of it would be too much, at least right now. Klaus was still holding out hope that one day he could say these things out loud, that one day they wouldn’t be running from the law and a furious gang, and maybe then Diego would be relaxed and peaceful enough to hear all the things Klaus wanted to tell him. Maybe then Klaus could kiss him and pull him down in bed without Diego needing to run away from it. 

At the moment it felt like a pipe dream, though. How were they ever going to get out from under the unfortunate consequences of their actions? The law wasn’t just going to suddenly forget they were fugitives, even with all of Luther’s help. They would never stop being hunted, Diego would never stop being afraid and uptight. Klaus might never get the affection he craved, no matter how much time passed.

“Why are you staring at me?” Diego said with his eyes still closed, making Klaus startle and blush in the dark. He had been lost in his own head, too distracted to notice the change in Diego’s breathing. 

“I’m totally _not_ doing that,” Klaus said, his chuckle giving him away.

“Yes you were, I could feel it,” Diego said, cracking open his eyes to give Klaus’ a skeptical but playful narrow-eyed glare.

“Well maybe you’re fun to look at, okay?”

“Did you just say I’m funny looking?” Diego asked, knowing god damn well that’s not what Klaus meant. He closed his eyes again and smirked. 

“You know what? That’s exactly it,” Klaus teased, rolling his eyes in the dimly lit room.

“I knew it,” Diego said, bringing both hands up to hide his face.

“Ugh, shut up, you’re gorgeous,” Klaus said, reaching up to pull Diego’s left hand away from his face. 

“Well now I _know_ you’re lying,” Diego said, but he was still smirking as he let Klaus drag his hand down.

“I’m about to swat you with this pillow,” Klaus said, about fed up with Diego not accepting any compliments. 

“You mean the one you didn’t use because you were busy drooling on me instead?” Diego said, chuckling at the noise of indignation Klaus made. 

“Look, I haven’t done that in years. You must just be extra comfy to sleep on,” Klaus said, but his cheeks were still pink. He wasn’t sure why Diego made him blush so much, Klaus hadn’t been embarrassed of anything he’d done in like a decade. Diego just made him feel like a silly, blushy teenager sometimes. It was part of his charm. 

“Fuck, what time is it, even? I feel like we slept a full sleep,” Diego said, yawning enormously. 

“I have no idea, it’s too dark to see the clock. Who doesn’t have a digital clock these days?” Klaus said, resisting the urge to stick his finger in Diego’s mouth while he was yawning. 

That joke was never funny and yet Klaus had to stop himself from doing it anytime someone yawned around him. Fighting impulses wasn’t his forte, but around Diego it was _important_ that he did. Klaus didn’t want to scare him off by being fucking weird or annoying all the time, which he could easily do if he wasn’t self aware at least most of the time. Normally he couldn’t care less what people thought of him. It was different with Diego - Klaus wanted him to like him back _so_ much. 

“Old ladies, I guess,” Diego said, rubbing his eyes and squinting at the clock on the wall across from them. It was definitely too dark, no matter who was looking at it. 

“She’s not an old lady!” Klaus said, nudging Diego’s shoulder. “She is like the age our mothers would probably be now. Maybe a little older, but she’s still not like. An old lady.”

“She is definitely older than my mom would be, but it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry I called her old,” Diego said, and Klaus could tell he was fighting an eye-roll.

“You should be. If she can still bag a young guy like Hazel, she can’t be that old,” Klaus said. He could see Diego’s eyebrows shoot up even in the dark.

“I’m sorry, _what?_ ” Diego said, sitting up and turning on the light, now on the left side of the big bed instead of between the two smaller ones.

“Oh, you couldn’t tell?”

“You’re crazy, that is not happening,” Diego said, fixing Klaus with the most incredulous look he’d ever seen. 

“It is too!” Klaus said, giggling at Diego’s face. “Just ask her.”

“Ew, no thanks, I do not want to think about that,” Diego said, closing his eyes hard and shaking his head. He opened his eyes and gave Klaus another skeptical look. “Wait, have you even been in the same room as both of them? You were shut in here when Hazel was here. How did you-”

“Do you really need to ask how I know? I just _know_ ,” Klaus said, shrugging and smirking. He glanced at the clock. “Oh shit, we slept like 4 hours.”

“It felt even longer, but that makes sense,” Diego said, nodding. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine,” Klaus said, restraining himself from rolling his eyes. He sincerely appreciated Diego’s concern, but he was getting a little tired of that question. He wasn’t _fine_ necessarily, everything was still a struggle, but all things considered, he was managing. “If I’m not fine anymore I’ll tell you, deal?”

“Promise?” Diego asked softly, looking at Klaus with such sincere, sweet eyes it stole the breath right out of Klaus’ chest.

“Promise,” Klaus said, nodding and swallowing hard. 

“Even if it’s something you know I don’t want to hear. I want to know, okay?” Diego said. 

Klaus didn’t know how to respond, because he knew it would happen. He was going to get painfully intense cravings and impulses to leave, second guesses and ugly thoughts. He didn’t want to tell Diego any of those things, but… he would. He swallowed his feelings and held up his pinky finger instead. Diego looked down at it and laughed, then hooked his own pinky around it and shook it. 

“I have never actually done that,” Diego said once he let go. 

“You’ve never made a pinky promise? That’s crazy, I’ve made like a million,” Klaus said. Then he remembered Diego said he never had any friends. Of course he wouldn’t have done that before. Klaus wanted to kiss him so much. How could such a sweet guy never make any friends?

“And how many have you kept?” Diego asked, throwing Klaus for another loop. He knew the answer was probably ‘not many’ but he didn’t need Diego questioning his integrity any more than he probably already did. 

“Uh- you know, I don’t really remember. But I’m definitely keeping this one,” Klaus said, then cleared his throat and tried to think of any reason to change the subject. As much as he loved having this sentimental moment, it was also hurting him, too. “I think I need to drink some water.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Diego said, snapping his fingers and pointing at Klaus. He threw the covers off his legs and got up with a stretch. “I’ll go get you-”

“No, it’s okay. I can get it myself now,” Klaus said, crawling to the edge of the same side of the bed and standing up too. His muscles painfully resisted and reminded him just how not ‘fine’ he was, but he tried to ignore it. Diego nodded and started walking toward the door. “Hey.”

“Yeah?” Diego said, stopping in his tracks and turning to face him again. 

“Can I hug you?” Klaus asked, feeling stupid for asking but he was never sure what Diego was comfortable with, especially after earlier. He also felt stupid for _needing_ the hug at all, but he just really, really did. He watched Diego frown slightly, but he nodded.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, as if it were obvious or something. 

It was definitely not obvious to Klaus. Diego held out an arm for him to come closer, though, so he did. He wrapped his arms around Diego’s ribs and smushed his face against his collar bone. When Diego’s arms wrapped around his shoulders he felt an instant flood of relief, sighing through his nose against Diego’s shirt. Then he felt Diego reach up and pet the hair at the nape of his neck, such a soft gesture that Klaus melted against him even further. Diego didn’t have any idea just how needy Klaus was for genuine affection that he wasn’t being paid for sharing with someone, but he seemed to sense it, squeezing Klaus just a little tighter. 

“Alright,” Diego said, patting Klaus’ shoulder to signal the hug was over. “Go get a drink, I’ll be out there in a minute.”

Klaus left Diego in the behind, presumably to use the bathroom, and headed for the kitchen. He didn’t make it that far because as soon as he walked into the living room Agnes was carrying all her birds on her hands, about to put them back in their cages. He almost screamed with unbridled excitement.

“Oh my God, I forgot,” he said, starting to run toward her then slowed himself. He didn’t want to startle the little babies. Agnes stopped and turned to him, smiling when she saw how excited he was. 

“Did you guys have a good nap?” she asked, but Klaus was too distracted to hear. He stopped in front of her and stared at all four of the tiny birds that were eyeing him suspiciously. 

“What are their names?” he asked, crouching to stare at them more closely. He’d never had the opportunity to examine a real live bird up close like this. 

“This is Fudge and Shortcake. The boys,” she said, holding up one hand slightly higher. Then the other. “And this is Éclair and Tiramisu, the ladies. Also the loud ones. Tira is the boss.”

“Those are the cutest names I’ve ever heard,” he said. They all looked so similar he would probably never be able to tell them apart, but before he left he was going to try like hell to figure it out. He looked up at Agnes. “Can I hold one?”

“Oh, sure,” she said, holding up the hand with the boys again. Klaus noticed the boys had orange cheeks and the girls didn’t, so that helped. “Hold out your finger. Fudge will walk on you. He’s the friendly one.”

Klaus did as he was told, practically vibrating with anticipation. Just as Agnes said, one of the finches hopped along her hand and onto Klaus’ finger with little hesitation. As soon as it was sitting securely Klaus straightened up and brought the bird close to his face.

“I feel like Snow White. This is the best,” he said, smiling so hard his cheeks hurt. He heard Diego make a small noise behind him and he turned toward him. He was standing as far away as possible while still being in the living room, folding his arms and leaning against the wall. “Look, Diego!”

“I see,” he said, but he was clearly not moved by them the same way Klaus was. 

“Come here, hold him!” Klaus said. Diego shook his head. 

“I’m good.”

“He’s afraid of them,” Agnes whispered, but Diego still heard her and frowned. 

“I am NOT afraid of them,” he said, but Klaus realized Agnes was totally right. He chuckled. 

“You are, aren’t you? That’s so cute,” Klaus said, looking back at the bird and gently petting it’s little head with one finger. “But he’s so tiny and you’re so big.”

“I’m not afraid, I just don’t like them,” Diego said, then quickly added. “No offense, Agnes.”

“Oh, none taken, honey,” she said, then turned to put the other birds in the cage. “Okay, you can hold him as long as you want, but I have to get ready. Just don’t open the front door because their wings aren’t clipped. He would probably come back to me but I don’t want to risk it.”

“Get ready for what?” Klaus asked, still petting Fudge.

“Oh, Hazel is going to pick me up and we’re going out for an early dinner and then grocery shopping,” she said, trying not to blush but Klaus definitely noticed.

“Ooo, a date?” Klaus asked, making Agnes blush fully.

“Um, I guess, yeah,” she said, tucking her hair behind her ear. He glanced at Diego with an ‘I-told-you-so’ smirk and Diego’s mouth fell open slightly as he realized Klaus was right.

“Where are you guys eating?” Klaus asked, turning his attention back to her. 

“Just going to the little local diner, nothing fancy,” she said, smoothing her button up shirt nervously. “It’s a small town, you know? Not a lot of options.”

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be special,” Klaus said, making her smile. Klaus didn’t notice, but it made Diego smile too. 

“Aww, yeah that’s true,” she said, patting his forearm. “You’re such a sweetheart."

“Sometimes,” Klaus said, winking at her.

“Alright well, I need to get moving,” she said, patting Klaus quickly again and then heading toward her bedroom. She stopped and patted Diego’s arm too, and then she remembered something else. “Oh! There is leftover spaghetti for you boys from last night, or you’re more than welcome to cook something.”

“I might make something, that sounds nice,” Diego said, nodding.

“If you do, please use as many of the vegetables as you can,” she said. “I have so many that are going to go to waste because there’s a whole new crop ready to be picked in my garden.”

“Alright, no problem,” Diego said, nodding as she left for her bedroom.

As much as Klaus loved holding the tiny little bird, he would much rather be paying attention to Diego. He lightly kissed it’s feathery, soft head and walked over to the cage Agnes left open. 

“Time to get in your house, little baby,” he said, sticking his hand in the cage next to one of the hanging perches. Fudge hopped off his finger on to the perch, tweeting happily as he swung back and forth on the bar. “Aww, I love you!”

Klaus closed the cage, then straightened up and turned back around. Diego was still leaning against the wall and smiling softly as he watched. Klaus wanted nothing more than to saunter over and wrap his arms around Diego’s waist, lean in and kiss that smirk on his lips, but he couldn’t. He really didn’t know what they were supposed to do otherwise, either. 

There wasn’t a lot to do in a tiny little house in the middle of nowhere, other than like, watch TV or eat food or take a walk. They couldn’t take a walk either because Diego didn’t have any shoes. He made a mental note to see if Agnes could pick him up some at whatever store that her and Hazel were going to, if they had shoes there. Klaus still had the cash from… from the other night, so he could give her that to pay for them. 

“What are you thinking about?” Diego asked, and Klaus realized he was just standing there scratching the back of his head absentmindedly. 

“Oh, just trying to think of something to do. I haven’t been sober in forever so… everything sounds kind of boring without drugs,” Klaus said, shrugging and biting his lip. 

Maybe that was too honest, but it was true. Food was better high, TV was better high; sex, video games, making art, being outside - it was all better while he was high. He saw Diego frown about what he said, and he felt his positivity slip a bit further. 

“It is pretty boring here. All I did was read and stare into space while you were locked up. But I’m sure we can find something to do that will take your mind off that,” Diego said, walking further into the living room and stopping by the armchair with a remote sitting on the arm. “Maybe we can watch something? It might not be as fun as being stoned, but we don’t have a lot of options.”

“I guess, that works,” Klaus said, walking over and plopping himself on the couch. He really hoped Diego would sit next to him, but of course he fucking didn’t. He sat down in the armchair, oblivious to how much Klaus needed him to be close.

“I haven’t watched any movies in eight years, so I’ll let you pick,” Diego said, frowning at the remote like he’d never seen one before. 

“That’s brave of you. I feel like we might not be movie-compatible,” Klaus said, managing to smirk at how easily he could torture Diego with ridiculous cinema.

“Try me,” Diego said, gesturing like he was going to toss the remote to Klaus until he was paying attention enough to catch it. “I don’t even know how to work this fucking remote anymore.”

“Oh, nice, she at least has cable,” Klaus said as he caught the remote and noticed it wasn’t a basic one. He turned on the TV and it was still on the Hallmark Channel from whatever Agnes was watching, and Klaus immediately vetoed that. He wasn’t in the mood to be emotional, so he turned on the guide channel. “What kind of movies did you like before?”

“Uh, I liked horror movies, honestly. But… maybe not so much anymore,” he said, bringing his legs up to sit cross-legged in the armchair chair.

“Shit, that makes sense,” Klaus said, and he realized that was something he hadn’t considered. 

So many things might trigger Diego now. He watched all the movie titles scroll by, and with every single one he could think of something super fucked up that Diego wouldn’t want to see. Spousal or child abuse, rape, prison, murder, graphic sex - it was all in so many things, even just as jokes in comedies. He saw _21 Jump Street_ and thought maybe that, but there was a prison rape joke, plus it was about cops. _Requiem for a Dream_ \- absolutely fucking not, for either of them. _Fight Club_ \- eh, maybe, but the violence was kind of a lot. Maybe _Mean Girls_ \- but Klaus couldn’t see Diego giving a shit about that at all. Why was this so fucking hard?

“Do you like Sandra Bullock?” Klaus asked, eyeing _The Proposal_. Light hearted, wholesome and predictable but still funny, both leads were hot, and there was nothing triggering that he could think of.

“Uh, I don’t know? Who is she?” 

“I think you would recognize her if you saw her, she has been around forever. Have you ever seen… you know what, never mind, just watch,” Klaus said, choosing the channel it was on. The tail end of _Horrible Bosses_ was on for another 10 minutes, so he decided he probably had time for a quick smoke break. Then he remembered he wanted a drink like forever ago, too. He set the remote on the back of the couch and stood up. “I’m going to get that water, do you want anything?”

“If there’s any coffee left in that pot, I’ll take it,” Diego said, then rubbed his eyes. “I’m still groggy from the nap. You don’t have to warm it up.”

Through the first half of the movie Klaus was absorbed enough, letting himself be distracted by the silly, easy humor. Then Agnes came out of her bedroom all dressed up, ready to go. Klaus had already watched the movie before so he’d seen her off on the front porch while Diego stayed inside. Klaus mentioned shoes for Diego to Agnes before she left, trying to press cash in her hand but she refused, telling him that she basically had an unlimited bank account with Luther. Klaus wasn’t one to question generosity, so he allowed her to leave without taking the money. He gave a wave to Hazel waiting for her in the driveway, but he didn’t wave back. 

When he walked back in he had to repress a chuckle at the way Diego was studying the TV screen with such a serious, analytical expression. It was as if he was watching a breaking news exclusive instead of a cheesy romantic comedy. He was so cute, Klaus could barely stand it.

“Are you enjoying yourself or do you hate this?” Klaus asked as he curled back up on the couch. Diego shook himself out of his trance, changing his expression to a small smile when he looked at Klaus.

“Hmm? Yeah, it’s fine, why?” he asked. Clearly he didn’t realize he was scowling in concentration the whole time. 

“I was just making sure. You looked very critical of what you were seeing,” Klaus said. And then he realized the part coming up next was Sandra and Betty White chanting in the woods to _Get Low_. He couldn’t wait to see what kind of face Diego would make then.

“No, I’m good. Just absorbed, I guess,” he said, turning his attention back to the TV. 

The second half of the movie Klaus was less focused, spending most of it biting the hell out of all his nails even though he was getting polish chips in his mouth, too. He was jonesing hard, nothing was taking his mind off of it. Even when Twinkie wandered in and jumped up on the couch with him, he couldn’t even enjoy petting him. 

Diego was still wrapped up in the finale of the movie so Klaus didn’t want to disturb him, even though he’d promised to say something. It was easy to make the promise, a lot harder to follow through. He didn’t want Diego to think he was backsliding, or weak, or a shitty person for wondering if any of this was worth quitting. Of course it was worth it, but right now it was hard to see that. He didn’t want to cry, he was _not_ going to cry, he refused to let it happen, but the tears were welling up anyway. He was so fucking tired of being such a crybaby, he hadn’t cried this much in years.

Of course Diego would break his concentration now, picking up on the hitch in Klaus’ breath he tried to hide. 

“Haven’t you seen this before?” Diego asked, apparently assuming Klaus was crying about the characters hooking up in the end. Klaus didn’t answer, just looked over with tearfilled eyes. Diego caught on fast, gasping softly when he figured it out. “Oh shit, you’re not okay are you?”

Klaus forced himself to shake his head. He wanted to lie and act like it was the movie, but… he pinky promised. Diego got up from the chair quickly, walking to the couch and picking up Twinkie so he could sit down. He set the cat on the floor while Klaus sat up straight and crossed his legs to make room, but he couldn’t look up and see the disappointment. Diego reached in Klaus’ lap and took his hand, holding it tight and trying to catch his eyes again.

“Hey, look at me,” Diego said, but Klaus didn’t. He stared at their hands instead, wishing it felt as good now as it usually did. Nothing felt good right now. “Klaus, it’s okay. It will pass. Look at me.”

“I’m sorry,” Klaus said pitifully, squeezing his eyes shut so the tears finally fell down his cheeks. 

He both wanted Diego’s comfort and didn’t, because he was mad he even needed it. He wanted this shit to just be over with. He didn’t want to think about fucking drugs anymore, he didn’t want to think about the beautiful, blissful relief he would get if he could just find a handful of pills. Right now they were the only thoughts his brain would supply, though. _Gotta get high, gotta stop this feeling, gotta drown out the demons with literally any substance, gotta leave here and find what I need before I lose it, he won’t like me sober anyway because I’m this fucking crybaby disaster._

“Klaus, don’t apologize, I get it,” Diego said, reaching forward with his other hand and lifting Klaus’ chin with his knuckles. When Klaus finally opened his eyes and looked in Diego’s face, he didn’t see the disappointment he was expecting. A little bit of fear, maybe, but no disappointment or anger. 

“You’re not mad?” he whispered. Diego shook his head. 

“No, I know this is going to happen. Shit, it’s only been 4 days, Klaus. You’re actually doing amazing for the time it’s been,” Diego said, squeezing Klaus’ hand in his. “I knew what to expect, I know it will be a struggle for a long time. Nobody kicks a heavy habit in 4 days and magically doesn’t crave anymore, no matter what the habit is. Just keep reminding yourself this feeling will pass, okay?”

“Okay,” Klaus said, nodding and wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “I just feel so stupid.”

“You are _not_ stupid. Listen, you saved my life because you’re _smart_ and strong. I will tell you every day if you need me to,” Diego said, but Klaus struggled to believe him at the moment. “You’ve been nothing but patient with me and my own fucked up issues. I want to be here for you when you’re going through yours, no matter how bad they are.”

Hearing Diego talk like that triggered another wave of tears. Bleeding his heart out loud was not something Diego normally did and Klaus knew it wasn’t easy for him. He was so sweet, and Klaus had no idea why Diego cared about him like this. He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve anything Diego had done for him, or anything Agnes and Luther were doing for him. He had been nothing but a shitty, useless liar, a user, a manipulative, selfish fucking asshole his entire life - the only thing he deserved was a prison cell or a headstone. He wished he’d finished the job when he was 16, nobody would have had to deal with his bullshit then. He should just leave now and save Diego the headache. 

“Klaus, tell me what you’re thinking right now. I can tell you’re stuck in your head,” Diego said, reaching forward to take Klaus’ other hand so he was holding both between them. He seemed to also sense it wasn’t just about the drugs, even if he had no idea just how much Klaus hated himself.

“I can’t,” Klaus said, his voice brittle and pathetic. 

“Okay, I understand that, too. Well, I’m sure whatever you’re thinking, you’re wrong right now. You’re th-” Diego started, then stopped himself and licked his lips as he thought about what he was going to say. He swallowed hard and then he must have decided Klaus needed to hear it, because he finished his thought. “You’re the only good thing that’s happened to me in a really long time.”

Klaus felt his face crumple up and he hung his head again, shaking it because there was _no way_ that was true.

“I’m serious, Klaus, please don’t doubt it,” Diego said, leaning forward and pressing his nose and lips against the top of Klaus’ head.

“You wouldn’t even be here in this shitty situation if it wasn’t for me. I ruined your life,” Klaus said, taking one of his hands away from Diego to wipe his face again. Diego turned his head to rest his cheek against Klaus’ head instead. 

“I told you, I would have been dead, Klaus. Whether I picked you up that night or not, ChaCha would have found me and shot me when I eventually deserted on my own,” Diego whispered against his hair. “Don’t you remember seeing her at my car before we left Philadelphia? She was already after me. The only reason she didn’t successfully kill me is because _you_ were _there_ , can’t you see that?”

“Not right now,” Klaus said, lifting his head so Diego had to move his face back. He looked at Diego’s face again and he could see the sincerity there, but he couldn’t accept it yet. 

“Do you want to try to take your mind off of it instead of talking?” Diego asked. “It’s probably almost 4, we can go and rifle through the fridge and cupboards. Figure out what I’m making for dinner.” 

“I guess,” Klaus said, not that he thought it would help. It had to be better than sitting there thinking about how much he wanted to kill this feeling with pills or liquor, though.

 _Maybe Agnes has a liquor cabinet somewhere? Or even better, maybe she has a pill stash in her room? I could go look for it while he’s distracted in the kitc_ \- _No!_

Fuck, he couldn’t escape this train of thought. 

“Okay, come on. I’ll teach you how to chop an onion really fast,” Diego said, standing up and holding out his hand to drag Klaus off the couch too.

It took a while for Klaus to shake himself out of the roaring good time he was having with cravings and an anxiety attack on top of it, but he eventually started to feel his shoulders relax again as he watched Diego wash vegetables in the sink. Klaus couldn’t make so much as a grilled cheese without burning down half the kitchen, so he mostly watched as Diego found all the ingredients for a good dinner.

“Do you like stir fry?” Diego asked, taking a survey of all the garden vegetables he had laid out in the counter between them. Carrots, onions, green beans, peppers, mushrooms, spinach and raw garlic and ginger root. 

“Is that a trick question? Of course I like stir fry,” Klaus said, picking up one of the carrots that still had the leafy green part on top and waving the leaves around. “This is like a Bugs Bunny carrot. I’ve never seen them straight out of a garden, it’s kinda pretty.”

“Me either, actually. We always just got the bag of carrots from the grocery store in my house,” Diego said, but he didn’t seem as entertained by it. “My mom had many skills, but a green thumb wasn’t one of them.”

“I’ve never tried to plant anything but I don’t think I would be any better, based on how easily I fuck up everything else,” Klaus said. Diego frowned. 

“Stop putting yourself down. You don’t fuck up everything else,” Diego said.

“I do too! Anything that takes some kind of focus or refined skill, I will ruin it. I don’t have the attention span to even remember I have a pot on the stove most of the time,” Klaus said, shrugging with exaggeration. “It’s not putting myself down, it’s just true.”

“I just think you haven’t had the time to do the refining. You probably have plenty of skills if you have time to figure it out,” Diego said, then turned to find something in another cupboard. Klaus thought it was really sweet that Diego believed in him, but he really had no idea just how fast Klaus could fuck things up. 

“So are you making stir fry then?” Klaus asked, changing the subject instead of arguing his point.

“Yeah, if that’s alright,” Diego said, moving some vegetables aside to set down a white cutting board, chopping knife and hand grater. “It’s too late to thaw meat properly, so it will just be a bunch of vegetables and rice, but it will still taste good. She even has a wok.”

“You’re really trying to make me healthy, aren’t you?” Klaus said, trying to keep himself from scrunching up his nose. Stir fry without meat sounded like a disappointment, but he wasn’t the one cooking so he would keep his mouth shut. 

“She has a box of Kraft mac n’ cheese in the pantry if you would rather eat trash food,” Diego said, shrugging and getting to work on chopping everything up. 

“No, I’ll eat it without complaining, I swear!” Klaus said, marveling at how fast Diego chopped a carrot into stir fry slices in like 5 seconds.

“Good. Start snapping the ends off these green beans for me,” Diego said, picking up the cardboard container of beans and setting it in front of Klaus. “Pick out the bad ones. They are kind of on their last leg, but most of them should be salvageable.”

Klaus did as he was told, snapping the pointy, hard bits off the ends of all the green beans. He was predictably distracted though as he watched Diego make quick work of all the other vegetables except the onion. It was neat to watch Diego get into it, flawlessly slicing everything into picture perfect portions on the cutting board. When they were both done Diego handed him the grater, a couple cloves of garlic and a skinned piece of ginger root. 

“Hold those, you’re going to grate them into the wok as soon as the oil is hot,” Diego said. He turned to light the burner under the wok, then poured a glug of sesame oil into the pan. 

Once it was hot Diego explained to Klaus how to grate the ginger and garlic without slicing his fingers off into the pan. It went surprisingly well, no finger injuries and the sizzling ingredients in the pan started to smell amazing. Klaus could hardly stand how nice it felt to see Diego wearing a proud smile when he did a decent job, even though it was probably like the easiest thing in the world. 

“See, you’re doing just fine. I told you you wouldn’t fuck it up,” Diego said, picking up the onion he’d already peeled. “Alright, I’m going to get this started and then you’re going to finish it. Watch.”

Diego scored the top of the onion with the knife in a hashtag pattern and sliced off the top layer into the pan in perfect little chunks with one swift slice. He did it with such speed that Klaus had to make him do it again to even register what his eyes just saw. Diego did it again, slicing off two layers next since his scores were deeper this time.

“Yeah okay, I am not even going to attempt that because we will be eating fingers for dinner,” Klaus said, refusing to take the onion and knife from Diego. “You look sexy doing it anyway.” 

“Oh jeez, there is nothing sexy about cutting vegetables, Klaus,” Diego said while rolling his eyes, but Klaus saw the smirk and the blush on his cheeks and ears, so he was clearly still flattered.

“If you got to watch yourself do it, you would see what I mean. Anyone doing anything really well with their hands is sexy,” Klaus said, leaning his butt against the counter and watching Diego finish chopping up the onion in the pan. 

“I’m glad I’m mostly left handed or I would actually be doing a really shitty job. I can hardly feel myself holding the vegetables with my right hand,” Diego said, tossing the knife in the sink on Klaus’ other side.

“You really need to talk to Luther about seeing a doctor, Diego,” Klaus said, his smile slipping into a frown. “It might be able to be fixed if you have a professional look at it.”

“Doubt it,” Diego said, brushing off the notion as he picked up the cutting board full of vegetables and swiped them all off into the pan. The hot oil crackled and popped as the new ingredients dropped in the pan. “There’s a tall cylinder container of white rice in the pantry, can you go grab it for me?”

By the time Klaus found the rice and walked back Diego had started a pan of water to boil and was busy adding extra spices and a few dashes of soy sauce to the stir fry. It smelled amazing and Klaus couldn’t wait to try it, but he was still preoccupied with Diego refusing to ask Luther for help with his gunshot complications. He assumed Diego was in a lot more pain than he was letting on too, and that was also worrisome. Nobody gets over a gunshot wound in four days, then again, nobody gets over drug addiction in that amount of time either but Klaus was trying his damnedest to make sure that happened. Neither of them wanted to admit they were still struggling, too afraid to bother each other with their stupid issues. 

“Alright, I just need plates and we can eat,” Diego said after a little while. He’d made the rice and cooked all the vegetables down into a colorful stir fry, leaving a wooden serving spoon in each pan. Klaus knew where the plates were, so he grabbed a couple out of the cupboard behind himself. 

“Does she have chopsticks?” Klaus asked, because he just really felt this meal needed chopsticks. 

“I don’t think so,” Diego said, scooping some of the stir fry on a bed of rice and handing the plate to Klaus. “I don’t think I even know how to use them, anyway.”

“I’ve eaten a ridiculous amount of takeout food in my life. Using the disposable chopsticks that come with it is easier than washing dishes later, so I taught myself,” Klaus said, taking his plate and smiling at Diego. He had no idea what he did to deserve to have someone cook him two meals in the same day, but it was such a privilege. 

“Well once we have access to some, you can teach me how to use them,” Diego said, serving his own plate. He noticed Klaus hadn’t moved, just stood there smiling at him. “What?”

“You’re just really great. Thank you for cooking,” Klaus said, wishing he could lean over and kiss Diego without it being a _Thing_. 

“You’re welcome. Now go sit down and eat it while it’s hot,” Diego said, blushing again and trying to hide it by staring down in the silverware drawer way too long. He joined Klaus at the table after a few moments, handing him a fork and a paper towel square. 

It was an early dinner, but Klaus had only eaten an omelette in the last few days, so he was plenty starving by the time he tucked into his plate. Once he started shoveling delicious food in his mouth he could barely contain his noises of satisfaction. Every vegetable was tender, the fresh garlic and ginger gave it an amazing kick, and the rice was cooked perfectly light and fluffy. He had never eaten a vegetarian dish he enjoyed this much, he could not be more surprised. 

“Diego, this is so fucking good. I could eat that entire pan of stir fry,” Klaus said around a mouthful, too excited to swallow first. Diego seemed to be admiring him while he ate rather than eating his own food. Klaus could tell he liked knowing that someone else enjoyed his cooking, or maybe he just liked to look at Klaus. Either way, Klaus was happy to see Diego smiling. 

“I told you it wouldn’t be bad with just vegetables,” Diego said, resting his jaw on his palm and continuing to stare. 

“I will never doubt you again. Feed me all the healthy junk,” Klaus said, stabbing a mushroom on the end of his fork and holding it up in front of Diego. “Eat yours though, or I’m going to start feeding you.”

Klaus was wrong again: he _could_ be more surprised, like now. Diego leaned forward and ate the mushroom off the end of his fork, laughing around the mouthful when he saw Klaus’ wide eyes. He wanted to burn the memory of Diego’s lips taking the food he offered into his brain forever. Diego had also eaten sushi from Klaus’ chopsticks at the bar they went to, but Klaus had _insisted_ then. This time Diego did it on his own. Klaus wasn’t sure which one of them was blushing more now and he still couldn’t believe Diego could even make him do it to begin with. Nothing made Klaus blush, yet every time Diego did something unexpected like that Klaus felt butterflies in his chest. 

“Your face,” Diego said, giggling to himself. “You look really cute all flustered.”

Klaus didn’t know how to handle that sentiment with anything but a kiss, so he changed tracks. 

“I’m going to get seconds. Don’t judge me,” he said, letting the moment fall away and getting up to help himself to more food. 

Klaus finished his second plate in the time it took Diego to finish his first one. He wasn’t ashamed, it was delicious and his body was dying for substantial food, but he did regret it just a bit. His stomach was too full now, like he might throw it all up if he wasn’t careful. That would be a shame, so he pushed away the plate with the last few bites left and leaned back in the chair while he waited for everything to settle. As much as he was trying to mind-over-matter himself to be through with this withdrawal, he wasn’t quite there yet and he should have paced himself a little better. He also re-aggravated his raw throat, which was only mildly annoying but still adding to his discomfort. 

“Are you alright?” Diego asked, then caught himself. “Sorry, I know you don’t want me to keep asking.”

“You’re okay, and so am I,” Klaus said, draping an arm over his stomach and exhaling hard so his lips fluttered. “Just packed myself too full.”

“I thought you might be, but I wasn’t going to tell you what to do,” Diego said, starting to stack their dirty plates. “Just relax, I’m going to clean up.”

“Okay,” Klaus said. He let his eyes flutter shut and he slumped further down the chair. For a second that sounded amazing, until Klaus remembered what happened when they did the dishes earlier. He sat up and held his hand over Diego’s left wrist before he could take the plates away. “Wait, are you sure? I can do it in a few minutes.”

“I’m not going to drop anything else, it will be alright,” Diego said, correctly assuming what Klaus was really concerned about. Klaus saw his expression get darker but he wasn’t angry, most likely just embarrassed. He had no reason to be but Klaus wasn’t about to tackle that whole issue just yet.

“Still, I’m going to help. You already made the whole dinner,” Klaus said, standing up and following him to the sink.

Diego sighed but didn’t argue as he set the dishes on the edge of the counter by the sink. His good mood seemed to have slipped away and it made Klaus feel like he did something wrong. Something changed. They were having a good time and then... he could just _feel_ that Diego was getting stormy inside. 

_Maybe I should have just left him alone to clean up by himself? Did I offend him by sort of bringing up what happened earlier? Fuck, what if he’s mad at me for not being better yet? What if he regrets-_ _Stop it!_

Klaus was letting his anxiety get the better of him again. Diego was probably just fine. He was an inherently moody person, so it made sense for him to get this way for no reason, it didn’t necessarily mean he was mad at Klaus. At least that’s how Klaus tried to talk himself out of being worried. It wasn’t working, but they both heard the front door open and froze. 

They looked at each other in a wide-eyed panic for a second, clearly both thinking ‘ _what if it’s not her?_ ’ because the last time someone barged in the place they were staying had been so traumatic. Klaus watched Diego reach for the knife in the sink on instinct and it snapped him back to reality. Of course it was Agnes, literally nobody else could possibly know they were here.

“No!” Klaus whispered harshly, reaching across Diego into the sink and grabbing his wrist again. “Drop it.”

The knife clattered in the sink. Diego looked at Klaus again and then back to the entry arch of the kitchen. Klaus listened closely for footsteps but all he could hear was Diego’s rapid breathing. A few seconds later Agnes came around the corner carrying a brown paper grocery sack and a huge smile. Klaus felt Diego deflate next to him, turning back toward the sink and leaning his palms against it while he regained his composure. He almost threatened an innocent lady with a knife for coming into her own house. Klaus totally understood why he needed a minute, so he forced a big smile and greeted Agnes himself. 

“Hello, beautiful! How was your date?” he asked, walking toward her to take the bag from her arms. Agnes handed him the bag and waved her hand like she was embarrassed. 

“Oh, it was just-” she said, then stared at Klaus for a moment and continued with a soft smile. “It was lovely, thank you, dear.”

“Good, I’m happy for you,” Klaus said. He felt like Agnes was only embarrassed because of how other people might perceive her relationship with a younger man, but she felt no judgement with Klaus. Most people didn’t. It was one of his most attractive traits, if he did think so himself.

“Can I help you carry anything in, Agnes?” Diego asked behind Klaus. He must have collected himself in a big hurry, not wanting Agnes to realize she had scared the shit out of them.

“Hazel is bringing the bags in, don’t worry about it. You’re still hurt, anyway,” Agnes said, moving past Klaus to look at the pan with a little bit of vegetable stir fry left in it on the stove. “This smells amazing, Diego! Thank you for using the produce. I can start to pick some of the ripe stuff tomorrow.”

“I can’t believe I am going to say this, but that sounds so fun,” Klaus said, setting the paper bag on the counter. “I would love to help you with that tomorrow.”

“Oh, please, and I would love your help,” she said, making Klaus smile for real. 

He never thought gardening would sound fun, but just picking a bunch of shit that was already grown and ready for harvest? It sounded oddly satisfying. For a quick moment he imagined himself in a baby blue sundress and floppy hat, picking fat, ripe tomatoes and piling them in a basket on his arm in the warm sunshine. Adorable. 

Hazel trundled in under the archway carrying an impossible amount of plastic grocery bags all at once. Klaus quickly slid the bag he set on the counter way further down so Hazel had somewhere to set them. That man had to be made of nothing but muscle. He easily lifted both armloads of grocery bags and set them on the counter like they were filled with feathers. Even half that amount of weight on one arm would pull Klaus right to the ground. 

“That is a lot of stuff,” Klaus said, blinking at all the bags that had enough food in them to be snowed in for the winter. 

“Well, Luther called me this morning,” Agnes said, looking between Klaus and Diego tentatively. “He doesn’t know how long you boys are going to be here, so he said stock up for… for probably a month.”

“A _month?_ ” Diego said, looking like she slapped him across the face with the information. Klaus wasn’t sure how he felt about it, but he could tell Diego was not thrilled. 

“That’s what happens when you keep murdering people off the cuff,” Hazel said, delicate as ever. “Play stupid games, get stupid prizes.”

“That’s enough, Nick,” Agnes said firmly. The snap in her voice shut Diego up before he could lash out. Klaus watched his mouth shut and fire burn in his eyes as he glared at Hazel. 

“Okay but did something happen?” Klaus asked, hoping things could remain civil in this kitchen. He also made note that Agnes was on a first name basis with Hazel, which was expected but he was still surprised to hear her use it.

“The assassin you idiots shot had a lot of powerful friends, and also she was a high profile case for the Feds, too,” Hazel explained. “They’ve wanted to capture her for at least a decade. They aren’t going to just brush off that some low level street gang scum and the random whore he kidnapped managed to take out one of the most slippery, deadly assassins they’ve ever dealt with.”

Agnes, Klaus and Diego all tried to speak at once. Hazel blinked in surprise at the uproar of volume.

_“I told you not to call him that!”_

_“Diego didn’t kidnap me!”_

_“Did you say the fucking_ Feds?!”

“Yes, I did say the Feds,” Hazel said, deeming Diego’s response to be the only one worthy of acknowledgement. “You screwed up bigtime, buddy, why are you so surprised? Luther is doing his best to clean up your mess without hanging himself in the process. It’s going to take a lot of time and finesse, and he can’t have the suspects staying under his roof while he works. You caused him a hell of a lot of grief and you’re lucky he didn’t feed you both right to the fucking dogs. It’s what I would have done.”

“Nick, please,” Agnes said, covering her face with her hands. Diego looked like he was going to throw up, he couldn’t even come up with a withering one liner to throw back at Hazel. 

“What if Luther can’t get the Feds to back off? Where will we go then?” Klaus asked, but he kept his eyes on Diego. He was not taking this well.

“That remains to be seen. Luther has a lot of power and resources at his disposal. This isn’t the first time he’s had to throw the government off his trail, but it’s never been about murder or harboring a fugitive, so it’s going to be dicey for a while,” Hazel said, cracking his knuckles and shaking his head. “Just be glad you guys get to relax comfortably here in your cushy safehouse while he does all the heavy lifting.”

“Alright, they’ve heard enough,” Agnes said sharply. “You’re welcome to stay, but change the subject. Better yet, help me put all these things away.”

Klaus knew what would happen next, and he was right. Diego rushed by Agnes and around Hazel, then headed for the front door. He always ran away when things got too intense, afraid to let anyone see him break. Klaus definitely didn’t want to let him face this alone, so he took off after him with a quick apology to Agnes. 

“Diego wait,” Klaus called, running through the front door that Diego left open and down the front porch. He saw Diego round the same corner of the house he’d ran off to this morning, so he raced after him. He felt wet grass on his feet that made his flip flops slick so that when he rounded the corner he slipped. He recovered quickly despite the clumsiness, finally catching up to Diego at the back corner of the house before he got to the back yard. “Diego!”

“What?” Diego snapped as he wheeled around. Klaus almost ran right into the front of him, barely able to slow his momentum in time. “What can you possibly say that’s going to make this any better?”

“I-” Klaus started, but he was too stunned by Diego’s harsh tone to continue. Diego hadn’t snapped at him in so long now that he almost forgot he could be like this. He swallowed hard, licked his lips and continued. “I know I can’t make it better, but I don’t want you to deal with this alone. This is just as much my fault as yours.”

“No it’s not, Klaus!” Diego snapped again, then rolled his eyes up to the sky and shut them. He took a deep breath and collected himself somewhat before he spoke again. “You’re not the one that’s going to prison if all this goes sideways. They think I’m holding you against your will, didn’t you hear that? You… you could leave if you wanted.”

“I’m not leaving you, Diego,” Klaus said, frowning hard. He was pissed, terrified and hurt all at the same time, but he was still way more worried about Diego. “I shot ChaCha, not you, and I refuse to let you go down for her murder, okay? Luther will figure this out.”

Diego snorted. “I’m pretty sure this over-extends the weight of the favor he owed me at this point. He’s going to get sick of this and kick us both to the curb. And then what?”

“And then we fucking figure it out! Why are you acting like we’re already in handcuffs, here?” Klaus said, folding his arms. “This isn’t over, Diego. We can still get out of this with Luther’s help.”

“Don’t be naive. I’m going back to prison, it’s just a waiting game now,” Diego said, covering his face with both hands and dragging them down. Klaus could hear the genuine fear in his voice and it broke his heart. “If I go back to prison in Philadelphia… they are going to kill me, Klaus.”

“ _No_ ,” Klaus whispered, unfolding one of his arms to reach out. He halted for a second, afraid of the backlash if Diego was too upset to be touched, but decided he didn’t care. He rested his hand on Diego’s bicep and tried to bring him closer but Diego stood firm, looking back at him like they were already defeated. “You’re not going back to prison. Please don’t resign yourself to the noose yet, there is still plenty of reason to have hope.”

Diego’s face crumpled up and he shook his head, looking away from Klaus as his eyes started to well up with tears that he didn’t want Klaus to see. Just knowing how much fear and sadness Diego was fighting back made Klaus tear up, too. He could feel it rolling off Diego like black, billowing smoke that pushed through Klaus’ soul and tried to choke out what little hope he did have. It was so hard to be strong for someone when you were barely hanging on yourself, but he did his best to keep his shit together. 

“Come here,” Klaus said, and it wasn’t a request. He used his hand on Diego’s bicep to pull him closer again. 

Diego tried to resist but only for a moment, letting Klaus strongarm him into the hug they both knew he needed. Klaus wrapped his arms around Diego’s shoulders, careful to not put too much pressure on his wounded side. Diego kept his own arms at his sides but let his face drop down to Klaus’ shoulder. He took a deep breath that hitched with the effort to keep his tears back. Once he submitted to the embrace Klaus could feel Diego trembling with the restraint and the fear of death on his doorstep. He turned his head and whispered close to Diego’s ear, “It’s okay, honey, just let it out. I know you’re scared, it’s okay, I understand.”

“I don’t want to die,” Diego whispered back, broken and soft, but it struck Klaus’ heart like sledgehammer. He felt a warm, wet spot grow on the strap of his tank top, and then he felt another of Diego's tears fall on his shoulder that streaked down the back of his bare arm. Despite being an empath on many levels, Klaus had never felt someone else's helplessness as vividly as he did right then. 

“Listen, that’s not going to happen, alright? We’re going to beat this just like we’ve beat everything else so far. Neither of us are going back to jail. We just have to be good, lay low and do what Luther says,” Klaus said reassuringly, dragging his nails over Diego’s back soothingly. “I understand why you’re scared to trust Luther to not give up on you. And yeah, maybe he didn’t have your back when you guys were kids, but he does now. He wouldn’t be putting his reputation and life in jeopardy like this if he didn’t think there was a way out.”

They both heard the front door slam shut before Diego could respond, and then heavy footsteps on the porch. Klaus noticed every muscle in Diego’s body tense, then he felt Diego’s hand come up between them and shove his chest backward. Diego yanked himself out of Klaus’ arms and wiped his eyes angrily with the heels of his palms. He turned to walk toward the back yard before Hazel came around the corner and saw him crying like a wuss. 

Klaus couldn’t be offended, he knew it wasn’t himself that Diego was trying to pull away from, but he was still disappointed that the vulnerable moment had been interrupted. Diego needed to cry it out more than any other person Klaus had ever met. He’d spent so long bottling everything up, pretending to be this hardass, emotionless tough guy in prison. So much that he never let himself process things that affected him deeply. Klaus didn’t need to be psychic to sense that much, but it helped. He stared after Diego for a moment, then back to the end of the house just in time to see Hazel walk past toward his car.

“Have a nice night,” Klaus called to him, but Hazel ignored him again. It didn’t hurt Klaus one bit. He couldn’t give a shit less what Hazel thought about him. 

He did care what Diego was thinking though, so he followed him around the house. Klaus was momentarily struck by how insanely beautiful Agnes’ gardens were in the deep orange sunlight that was only an hour or so from setting. There were flowers absolutely everywhere, both wild and intentionally planted in crop lines in tilled dirt. The rows of sunflowers were taller than Klaus, which was something he never knew he would be excited about before; their huge, heavy blossoms drooping with the weight of their seeds. She didn’t have neighbors for miles, only distant mountain ranges and rocky hills, but you could tell where her property ended because so did most of the green life. It was so beautiful, he was definitely going to fuck around in the back yard tomorrow, no question. But right now he had to find Diego. 

When he couldn’t find him in the backyard, Klaus figured he must have gone inside through the back door. He went through there too, through the sunroom and into the kitchen. Diego was leaning against the kitchen counter holding a pair of low top canvas shoes; some black and white Converse knockoffs. Agnes was standing in front of him holding a pair of black flip flops, too. Diego looked much less distressed now, but Klaus wasn’t sure if it was just a brave face for Agnes or if he was actually feeling better.

“Oh great, you found some!” Klaus said to Agnes when he walked in. They both looked at him and smiled, and Klaus took a moment to appreciate having people actually smile fondly when he walked in a room. He’d been smiled at superficially, lustfully, lecherously, but rarely because people were just pleased to see him.

“I did. You said you guys were both close to the same size, so I got you some of these ones, too,” Agnes said, tapping Diego’s canvas shoes in his arm. She smiled again and added, “Yours are pink.”

“Ah! You know me so well already. You’re such a doll, thank you,” Klaus said, walking closer to them and leaning next to Diego against the counter. “And flip flops, too?”

“Oh, yeah,” Agnes said, looking at the black flip flops in her hand. “Hazel was going to give these to Diego before you guys walked out. He said he would find it funny, but I figured it was about something mean and he wasn’t telling me.”

“Real funny,” Diego said, rolling his eyes. Klaus had to bite the inside of his lip to keep from giggling, because he remembered how adorably annoyed Diego got about wearing his flip flops into the gas station. “Why would you want to date a giant dick like that, anyway?”

“I’m sorry, I know he’s… he isn’t normally that mean at all, honestly. I’m not sure why he talks to you guys like that,” she said, her face falling as she shook her head. “I think he just needs to warm up to you, maybe?”

“Or maybe he’s just a dick,” Diego said, making Klaus elbow him. 

“I think the nature of his relationship to us makes him suspicious,” Klaus said with a shrug. “Why should he see us as anything but a junkie whore and a violent gangster when that’s all he knows about us? And then Luther is forcing him to let us stay with you, and he doesn’t trust us around you yet. He cares about your safety and we seem sketchy as hell. I get it.”

“I fucking don’t. If he calls you that one more time I’m going to punch his teeth down his throat,” Diego said with a frown. Klaus saw Agnes wince at his harshness. 

“I mean it’s not a false statement. I am a whore,” Klaus said, shrugging again. It was Diego’s turn to wince. Klaus thought it was super sweet that Diego got so defensive on his behalf, but it was still the truth. “I’ve been called much worse, Diego.”

“Well, good thing we don’t judge people by their past in this house, right?” Agnes said, trying to lighten the mood. She set the flip flops in Klaus’ arms. “I’m going to go change into my pajamas, this shaper is squeezing the life out of me.”

Right before Agnes walked out she stopped and turned back to Klaus, then dug around in her purse hanging off her shoulder. 

“Oh, here,” she said, pulling out a box of cigarettes from her purse. “I noticed you were on your last one earlier.”

“Oh, jeez, you didn’t have to do that,” Klaus said, feeling guilty as hell the moment he took them from her hand. “I don’t want you or Luther funding my habits. I’m trying to be done with being that person. At least let me pay you for this.”

“I could buy you 500 whole cartons of cigarettes before Luther even batted an eye at his bank statement, you’re fine, honey,” Agnes said, reaching up and patting his cheek. “Just think of it as a gift.”

“Ugh, okay, just this once. But after that I’m going to start stuffing cash in your purse when you’re not looking,” Klaus said, but she ignored him and walked out of the kitchen. He glanced over at Diego who still looked to be fuming about Hazel. “I almost can’t handle how nice she is.”

“Me either,” Diego said distractedly. He was burning a hole in the floor with his absent glare. 

“Hey, are you still upset about what Hazel said? It’s fine, Diego, really,” Klaus said, nudging him gently with his elbow. 

“No it’s not!” Diego spat. “He knows your fucking name and I told him to stop saying that shit. He deliberately says it just to hurt us and-”

“Diego, listen. It’s okay, I’m not that pressed about it. Really.”

“Well I am. Why won’t you demand that people respect you?” Diego asked, finally looking at him with furrowed brows and hard eyes. Klaus knew it wasn’t him that Diego was mad at, but the look was still intense. 

“I-I don’t know. I can’t be mad at someone calling me those things when I _am_ those things,” Klaus said, looking down and hugging an arm around his middle. He wished they would change the subject because it was starting to make him feel bad about himself.

“Klaus, that’s not _all_ you are, you know that, right? There is so much more to you than just those things,” Diego said, his face softening. Klaus only glanced at him for a moment and then looked back at the floor because Diego’s sincerity was too much to handle. 

Klaus did not want to cry again but hearing that come out of Diego’s mouth was so… bittersweet. He couldn’t really see much more to himself than just his drug habit and sex work, they had consumed his entire life ever since he was 17 years old. So what Diego said felt false, but it meant so much to hear him say it anyway.

“Look at me. Drugs and sex do not define you. And you need to stop letting people do that to you because they are only doing it to hurt you when they say shit like that. It’s not about it being the truth, it’s about them using it as a weapon against your credibility and value, and that’s bullshit,” Diego said, surprising Klaus by reaching out for his hand. Klaus dropped his arm from his stomach and took it, watching as their fingers threaded together so perfectly at their sides. He still couldn’t look at Diego’s face though or it would start the waterworks for sure. “Besides, you _were_ those things, but not anymore. You’re clean, you’re not on a street corner, and I’m not going to let you go back to either as long as I’m alive to do something about it.”

“Okay,” Klaus said quietly, because he didn’t know what else to say. He didn’t want to argue, so he kept quiet because all he would do is upset Diego further if he spoke his mind.

Klaus didn’t believe any of the things Diego was saying. If he had a personality outside of the drugs he didn’t know what it was or if it was even good. Outside of the drugs all he knew about himself was that he was a liar, a thief, a backstabber, a user, a quitter, a weirdo in makeup with a loud mouth and zero impulse control. Not to mention sex work had _always_ defined his life. It felt so ingrained in who he was that he couldn’t imagine himself ever doing anything else. Diego was being just as naive as he accused Klaus of being earlier. He wanted to believe he would never go back to either of those things, but given how screwed up their situation already was, the outlook was pretty fucking bleak on that front. They couldn’t live off Luther forever and it’s not like either of them could ever apply for real jobs. It felt inevitable. 

“Alright, we’ll work on it,” Diego said, apparently realizing that Klaus was incapable of seeing his own worth, at least at the moment. He squeezed Klaus’ fingers in his. “What do you wanna do now? I really need to take my mind off of everything.”

“Honestly, I just want to lie back down for a while,” Klaus said, because he was feeling kinda shitty now and his body was already exhausted just from the few things they’d done that day. “I know it’s early, but I think I’m going to go hang out in the bedroom. Maybe repaint my nails if Agnes has any polish remover.”

“Okay, lets go,” Diego said, picking himself up off the counter he was leaning on and dragging Klaus by the hand he was holding. 

Klaus managed a weak smile at Diego leading him to the bedroom by the hand. It would be such a suggestive move if literally anyone else were doing it, they would obviously be leading Klaus to the bedroom to fuck, but not Diego. His motives with Klaus were always so good and innocent and Klaus loved that about him, even if it was also somewhat frustrating sometimes, too. 

Klaus was trying so hard not to oversexualize Diego ever since the night he’d freaked out in the motel, to not fantasize about how much he wanted Diego to just rail him already, but sometimes it was difficult. Diego was _so_ fucking sexy and dark and mysterious. It ticked so many damn boxes for Klaus, but he had to keep a lid on it or else he would make Diego uncomfortable or embarrassed. Nevertheless, Klaus couldn’t think of anything in the world that sounded better than letting Diego fuck him senseless, until all the pain and worry were pushed out of his mind for a while. 

Unfortunately Klaus wasn’t able to turn it off just yet. After they got to the bedroom and Klaus collected his nail polish and a bottle of remover from the bathroom, Diego decided to change his shirt. It wasn’t the first time Klaus had seen him shirtless, but it was the first time he was in a position to let his gaze linger. He was on the bed behind Diego, trying not to be a pervert as he watched Diego yank his shirt over his head. His back muscles were a dream - all the working out and ass kicking in prison made Diego strong and toned in the best way. Klaus wanted to drag his nails across his shoulders and nip at the back of his neck. When he focused his eyes a little harder he noticed more scars on Diego’s back, some of them just nicks, but one between his shoulder blades stood out from the rest against his skin tone. It looked like another slice, like the one on the side of his head, the white scar tissue raised like a thick vein. He’d suffered so much.

When Diego pulled on one of his clean black t-shirts Klaus finally dragged his mind out of the gutter. It’s not like they could do anything in this room anyway, even if Diego was able to. Agnes was sitting in the living room just down the hall, plus it was probably a social faux pas to have sex in a guest bedroom where you were already an inconvienence. A thought occurred to him just as Diego pulled back the covers on the other side of the bed and crawled in. 

“Oh my God, that’s it! I just realized!” Klaus said, reaching out to slap his hand over Diego’s knee. 

“What?” Diego said, furrowing his brow and pulling the book out from under his arm that he’d had tucked there. 

“Hazel hates us because we’re cockblocking him!” Klaus said, laughing at himself. Diego looked at him with a disturbed expression, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open. “I’m serious! They can’t fuck with us being here, so he’s taking it out on us.”

“Ugh, Jesus, stop talking. I’m gonna throw up,” Diego said, covering his eyes with his hand and pressing his fingers into his eyes. Klaus giggled again. 

“Why? It’s not gross. Everyone needs love sometime,” Klaus said, smiling as he watched Diego shudder and shake it off. 

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean I have to think about it,” Diego said, then cleared his throat. “ _Anyway._ ”

“Next time he’s here we should go for a long walk, tell them not to expect us back for a couple hours,” Klaus said, not taking the hint to change the subject. 

“I’m not doing that. Any distress I can cause Hazel without actually hitting him brings me joy,” Diego said, leaning back on the headboard and cracking open his book. Klaus rolled his eyes and sighed. 

“You’re such a hater sometimes,” Klaus teased, nudging Diego’s foot with his own under the blanket. 

“I’m a hater _all_ the time, haven’t you figured that out yet?”

“You don’t hate me,” Klaus said. It was supposed to be a rhetorical statement, but he couldn’t say he was absolutely certain that it was true. Diego looked up from his book and stared at him with a small smile that made Klaus’ stomach swoop. 

“You’re alright, I guess,” he said, giving him an uncharacteristically cheeky wink. Fuck, Klaus wanted to kiss him so bad for the 100th time that day. 

Klaus had never really liked sitting in silence, he always had to fill it with jokes or doing something wild to liven up some conversation. With Diego it was different. They spent a couple hours doing their own thing, but Klaus still felt like they were spending time together. It was comfortable and relaxing, except the ever-present nagging for drugs that Klaus felt in the back of his mind, but so far he was doing alright with it. Better than he was earlier, anyway. 

Diego had been reading most of the time, only stopping to watch Klaus get up and get his tarot cards from one of the bags after his fresh black nails had dried. Diego seemed wary about him doing another card reading after the last one had upset him so much, but Klaus wasn’t afraid. If anything the last reading sealed his conviction that this shit was definitely real even further. He couldn’t think of any better card to describe what happened to them that night in the motel than _The Tower_ , and it had come up twice that day. 

Tonight’s reading was underwhelming. He tried to get a reading on what to expect during their stay at Agnes’, but it was a little boring. Then again, this was kind of a boring place, so that wasn't surprising either. 

_Three of Wands, reversed_ \- obstacles and frustrations - maybe because of the FBI thing making them stay there longer than planned. _Queen of Cups_ \- compassion and comfort - most likely because of Agnes being wonderful and making sure they feel welcome. There was no doubt that her cup of compassion runneth over. But then the trickier one, _The Hierophant_. Klaus took this card to essentially mean ‘ _when in Rome'_ in this situation, as in, conform to existing social rules and structures, because he didn't see any spiritual learning happening here. He wasn’t quite sure what to do with that information. What the fuck was the structure here? They were criminals on the run from a lot of people that wanted to take them down, hiding in a safehouse in the middle of nowhere, with a lady they’ve never met. There was nothing traditional about this situation at all. 

“You okay?” Diego asked, snapping Klaus out of his trance as he stared at the cards on the bed in front of him, apparently with a concentration frown on his face. 

“Hmm? Yeah, I’m good,” Klaus said, then melted as he felt Diego’s hand rest on his back and rub soothingly. Klaus wasn’t sure when Diego decided casual, physically comforting affirmations like this were on the table, but he loved it. If he was a cat he would have immediately started purring. 

“No more towers, right?” Diego asked, pressing his fingertips against Klaus’ shoulder muscles with small, circular motions. Klaus didn’t answer, he just let his eyes fall shut with a low groan as Diego’s fingers grazed over his sore, tight muscles. “Your shoulders feel like concrete.”

“Ugnnn,” Klaus whined in agreement, turning his body slightly so Diego could reach the other shoulder easier. He had no idea just how badly he needed this, and it felt too awesome to have any shame. “Please don’t stop.”

So he didn’t, even though it was a lot of touching. Diego gripped his whole hand over the juncture of Klaus’ neck and shoulder and gave it a firm squeeze. It hurt so good, making Klaus moan as Diego squeezed the tension away. When he moved his thumb up to rub circles over the knots in the back of Klaus’ neck next, he wrapped his fingers around the front of Klaus’ throat to brace them and it was suddenly not just a massage anymore, at least not for Klaus. His whine was slightly impeded by Diego’s fingers pressing into his throat and he felt his skin flush. The low key eroticism seemed to catch up with Diego and he pulled his hand away, clearing his throat and picking up his book again. Klaus turned in time to see the blush on Diego’s cheeks as he studiously tried to re-focus on the paragraph he was reading like nothing happened. 

“Please feel free to do that literally any time you want to. My muscles are always tight enough to bounce a quarter on, especially after the last couple days,” Klaus said, turning his head to crack his neck now that his muscles were a bit more loose. God, he needed that to crack for days. 

Diego only nodded slightly, and Klaus had to smile at how hard he was pretending like he didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary. He wasn’t going to call Diego on it and make him feel awkward, but he still cleaned up his pile of tarot cards with a bit of a giddy smirk. 

Even a little later when they both agreed it was about bedtime, Klaus was still contemplating the pleasant, exciting notion that Diego _liked_ to touch him, even if it scared him for now. It gave him hope that one day Diego could be more comfortable with physical contact, even if it was just kissing and snuggling. Klaus would take any of it. For now he had to respect Diego’s boundaries and behave, so he turned toward the wall when he laid down instead of snuggling up to him like he had the night before, just in case. He felt Diego reach over and turn the lamp off then wiggle down under the covers on his back. 

That only lasted for maybe 10 minutes, and then Diego rolled on his left side, the same direction as Klaus. He was quiet and still, and Klaus couldn’t stop listening to his breath right behind him. He felt stupid for literally praying for Diego to wrap an arm around him and drag him closer. He craved that affection so much but he couldn't bring himself to ask for it outright. 

“Come here,” Diego said, so quiet and low that it sent a shiver down his spine and his cock simultaneously. 

Klaus realized the only reason Diego didn’t do exactly what he had been hoping for was because of his injured arm. Then he felt even more elated now that he knew Diego wanted it bad enough to ask for it when Klaus was too afraid to. He didn’t need to be told twice, immediately shimmying himself backwards under the arm Diego hovered above him and then rested down across his waist. It felt so fucking good to do this again, to feel Diego’s warm chest against his back and soft breath on the back of his neck. He wasn’t even sure he could actually fall asleep yet, especially with his heart beating fast from getting exactly what he wanted, but it didn’t matter because this was all he needed at the moment.

“Goodnight,” Diego whispered, close enough that Klaus could feel Diego’s nose brushing against his hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Next chapter July 3rd! There should be no delays this time! 
> 
> \- Alsoooo you definitely want to come back next week!!! IT'S A GREAT CHAPTER. BE EXCITED!
> 
> \- And I think this is the last chapter where they sleep like 29 hours a day lol (they are both healing, let them rest!)
> 
> \- Omg and a quick thank you to everyone that has been leaving me wonderful feedback and kudos! ♥ I got behind on returning comments, but please believe every word you say makes me so, so happy and keeps me inspired to finish book 3! Thank you, thank you, you've all been so lovely and I can't believe you love this story enough to keep coming back :')


	13. The Hierophant: Eleven

_** September 6th, 2015, 6:07am ** _

It wasn’t his own nightmare that woke Diego this morning, it was Klaus’. He could hear Klaus making little distressed noises and squirming against him before he even opened his eyes. Diego tried to hush him quietly at first, holding on to him a little more firmly, but it wasn’t working. 

“Klaus. Hey, wake up,” Diego said close to his ear, giving his arm a shake. 

“Hmm,” Klaus mumbled, then took a sharp, deep breath as he dragged himself into consciousness. Diego felt him shiver while he steadied himself, but once he realized he was still safely tucked under Diego’s arm he seemed to relax.

“What were you dreaming about?” Diego asked, even though he hated being asked that himself. Klaus wasn’t like him though, usually he was much more open to discussing what was upsetting him. 

“I don’t remember,” Klaus whispered. Diego knew that was a lie, but Klaus didn’t owe him an explanation. 

Then he was distracted by Klaus rolling over to face him, except he didn’t keep his head on the pillow. He snaked his arm under Diego’s arm around him, draped it around Diego’s middle and then buried his face against Diego’s chest so they were basically one-armed hugging in bed. It was just a little more intimate than Diego was ready for, but he could tell Klaus needed the comfort. Plus, Diego liked nuzzling his nose against the top of Klaus’ curls, and if he was honest with himself, he really liked the feeling of being protective too, of knowing Klaus felt better just from his presence. He dragged his numb fingertips over Klaus’ back in what he hoped was a light scratch, just enough to be soothing. It was really nice, until Klaus finally spoke up. 

“The targets… they look like people,” Klaus mumbled against his chest. 

“What?” Diego asked, leaning back to look at Klaus’ face even though there was no way he could see him in the dark. 

“When you’re doing target practice. The targets are those black outlines of people,” Klaus said, and Diego was still confused. 

“Yeah, I know what you’re talking about. What about them?”

“That’s what she looked like when I shot her,” Klaus said, and it finally clicked for Diego. Oh right, this was about ChaCha. “The way that I could only see her black silhouette against the light from the window. It was just like aiming for a headshot on a target, except it was a real person.”

“Klaus, you have to stop beating yourself up over this. You didn’t hav-”

“Yes, I didn’t have a choice, I know. But that’s not why I mentioned it. That’s just what my dream was about,” Klaus said. “I was standing in a dim room with just a whole row of those paper targets on the back wall. I was going down the line shooting them, but then when I walked up to them they weren’t targets, they were all real people. They were bleeding out from the shots but not dead, and one of them asked me why I shot him, blood pouring out of his mouth, and all I could do was drop the gun and scream.”

“Jesus, I’m so sorry,” Diego said, at least half as disturbed as Klaus just from hearing it. He leaned back in and hugged Klaus against him again. “You never have to fire a gun again if you don’t want to. You’re not going to have to hurt anyone else.”

“You don’t know that,” Klaus whispered, his breath tickling Diego’s collarbone. Both things made him shiver. No, he didn’t know that for sure, Klaus was right. 

“I guess not, but we’re safe here. And we don’t even have the gun anymore, so unless you go out and buy one, or you have another one hiding somewhere, that definitely won’t happen again,” Diego said, then started to scratch his nails along Klaus’ back again. “It was just a bad dream.”

“What did you dream about?” Klaus asked, changing the subject in the most obvious way. 

“Surprisingly, nothing. I slept really hard the whole time,” Diego said, and it was the truth. 

He had been sleeping more soundly than ever since they got to Agnes’ and Diego wasn’t sure how that happened. He’d been woken up from nightmares or just general insomnia for almost a decade, but apparently that stuff had been taking a back seat to the current issues they have been dealing with. Or maybe it had something to do with sleeping next to Klaus, but that seemed like an impossible fairy-tale solution to a serious problem he’d had for years. Way too easy to be true. He might have been more open to cuddling his cellmate in prison if all it took was sleeping next to someone to solve his night stress. 

“Lucky you. I couldn’t fall asleep for like three hours after you did,” Klaus said, and he mirrored Diego’s actions, lightly scratching his nails over Diego’s back. It felt nice, even though Diego was more concerned about Klaus not sleeping. It had to be because of the lingering withdrawal effects, most likely. “I knew you were sleeping good though, because I sneezed like four times in a row and you didn’t wake up.”

“Are we sharing your science right now?” Diego asked, making Klaus chuckle against him.

“My _science?_ Yeah, I guess so. Sorry, if I got up and washed my hands it would have woken you up, so you get to share my germs,” Klaus said, then yawned and Diego could smell his morning breath. He realized his own was probably not great either. “I think it was just like a generic dust sneeze though, I don’t feel sick.”

“You better not. I haven’t had the flu in like five years, I’ll be mad if you break my streak,” Diego said with no conviction. He wouldn’t love to be sick but he certainly wouldn’t actually be mad at Klaus for it.

“I swear I get the fucking flu every year, but I spend a lot of time kissing strangers so… not that shocking, I guess,” Klaus said. Diego tried to shake off that information immediately. 

“Are you hungry?” he asked, stubbornly forcing his brain to not imagine Klaus kissing someone else. He would never admit it, but it made him more and more jealous the longer they spent together, even though he had no business being jealous because Klaus didn’t belong to him.

“Not yet, but I’m sure I will be if you make something. I mean only if you want to, though. Not that I _expect_ you to, I can make my own food, I’m just saying-” Klaus rambled into his chest. 

“I would love to make breakfast for you,” Diego said, smiling against Klaus’ hair. He felt Klaus hug him tighter with the arm around his waist. “I think I smell coffee though, so I better get out there before Agnes makes us a four course breakfast by herself.”

“That sounds like her,” Klaus said, but made no move to let go of Diego so he could get up. 

“You have to let me go if you want me to get out of bed,” Diego said, patting the back of Klaus’ arm around him. 

“Hmmm no, I don’t think I can do that,” Klaus said, clinging to him harder and burying his face further into Diego’s chest. 

It was really nice, until Klaus moved his knee up between Diego’s legs to get even closer. Klaus’ knee nestled between his was too much, and he was going to have to regretfully pull away now. Except he couldn’t make himself, so he tried to manage the anxiety it sparked by simply ignoring it. That wasn’t working either, especially when Klaus’ fingertips creeped up under the back of his shirt, grazing lightly over the bare small of his back. 

“I have to pee,” he said bluntly, completely untangling himself from Klaus in a rush and sitting up. 

He didn’t want to glance back at the disappointed look on Klaus’ face, so he got up and quickly walked out of the room and across the hall to the bathroom. As soon as he shut the door and locked it he leaned his palms on the counter and took a few deep breaths. 

He absolutely hated this. There was nothing wrong with what they were doing, it was such innocent snuggling and yet he couldn’t fucking handle it. In this case it was because he was scared that it would make Klaus want more than he could give him, even though he _really_ wanted to give it to him, too. He could _imagine_ them doing more, but the minute Klaus actually touched him in a way that felt too intense he had to flee. Why couldn’t anything ever be fucking easy?

Once he collected himself, did his business and brushed his teeth, he decided he could handle the rest of the day. On his way to the kitchen he glanced in the bedroom and saw that Klaus had left, so he followed the scent of coffee out to the kitchen. Except Klaus wasn’t there either, and neither was Agnes. He frowned and walked across the kitchen to the back door, opened it and glanced outside. They weren’t in the sunroom or the back yard either. The only other room he couldn’t see from where he was standing was Agnes’ bedroom, but why the fuck would Klaus be in there? Diego was starting to panic. He didn’t think Klaus would leave, he seemed to be doing way too good to regress that much. 

“Klaus?” he called, leaving the kitchen and heading back for the bedroom. He didn’t get an answer, but he hoped maybe Klaus was just in the other bathroom and Diego just didn’t notice the door was closed. He looked in the room again and discovered that wasn’t the case either. “Klaus!”

“In here, honey!” Agnes called from her bedroom. Diego bolted down the hallway and pushed open her bedroom door that was cracked. 

Agnes was standing outside her closet to the right of the bedroom door, holding a few shirts draped over her arms with a warm smile on her face. Klaus stepped out of the closet wearing only the little cut off shorts he’d made out of his jeans, just about sending Diego to the grave. He managed to keep it together despite staring at the way Klaus’ jeans buttoned low under the pale, sharp edges of his hips and the dips of his pelvis. As if that wasn’t enough, there was the long, naked expanse of his back from broad shoulders to narrow waist, too. Somehow just the way Klaus held himself, back bowed and hips cocked out, made Diego’s heart miss a couple more beats. He was too beautiful, like living art, even though it made Diego roll his eyes at himself for having such a cliché thought. 

“Hey, sorry, we were just looking for something that might fit me besides your clothes,” Klaus said, then added. “And besides mine, too. Literally all the shirts I have here I saw drenched in your blood so I just need- _This!_ ”

Klaus held the shoulder straps of a dark, army green, ribbed tank top with tiny yellow flowers on it and snapped the wrinkles out. Diego hoped nobody noticed he couldn’t speak as he watched Klaus bunch up the top, shove his head in and shimmy it down his long torso. It fit like a clingy glove, leaving an inch or two of bare midriff. It was clearly made for someone shorter than him, but that had never stopped Klaus from wearing anything before. 

“I’m sad I left my sunglasses back in the motel room. They would have looked so cute with this,” Klaus said, moving around Agnes and to the end of the bed where a full length mirror hung on the back of the bathroom door across from it. Diego was so busy watching Klaus he didn’t notice that Agnes was watching _him._

“Cat got your tongue, Diego?” she said, and he didn’t miss the teasing note to her voice. He frowned, his strongest defense mechanism. 

“I’m fine. I’m going to go make breakfast unless anyone opposes?” he said, barely waiting two seconds for anyone to answer before he turned on his heel and strode down the hall again.

Klaus and Agnes played around in her closet for a ridiculous amount of time. Diego had made the whole meal of sausage links with fried breakfast potatoes and onions before they wandered out. Klaus sniffed the air as he walked up next to Diego standing at the stove. 

“That smells fucking amazing. Can I help you with anything?” he asked with a cheerful tone.

Diego noticed he was keeping a safe foot of space away from him. Probably because Klaus noticed him start to panic again before he got out of bed, which really bummed Diego out even more. He didn’t want Klaus to be afraid to touch him or even _stand_ close to him, but he didn’t know how to fix it. He could tell Klaus that he wanted to be touched 100 times, but when his body told a different story he couldn’t blame Klaus for getting mixed signals here. Especially after he rejected Klaus’ kiss yesterday, which he was still kicking himself for despite having solid reasons. He didn’t want that to happen again, even if he didn’t feel ready. He was ready, damn it, or at least he tried to convince himself he was. But now Klaus was going to be too afraid to try again. 

“You can get the dishes down. And you can make yourself toast if you want some, but this is already a pretty greasy meal,” Diego said, clicking off both burners and shoving the spatula under a heap of potatoes so it stayed by itself. 

“I definitely don’t need toast, too. Agnes and I are going to go pick a ton of stuff in her garden right after this, so I’m sure I’ll be sampling as I go,” Klaus said, doing as he was told and getting down three plates from the cupboard. Diego frowned again. 

“Oh, you’re starting that early,” he said casually, trying really hard to not be bummed out about that, too.

“I think that’s just how farm life is, right? Time to work as soon as the rooster crows,” Klaus said cheerfully. Diego smiled and nodded weakly, then took the stack of plates from Klaus so he could start dishing out food. He couldn’t respond because everything he was thinking was salty and Klaus didn’t deserve that. 

Diego didn’t exactly have any plans for them, but he still didn’t want to spend the entire morning by himself while Klaus did other shit. He was really starting to miss their alone time they’d spent on the road. Apparently he must have woken up on the wrong side of the bed this morning because he was feeling way more emotional about everything than usual. 

First he was jealous of the strange people in Klaus’ past that got to kiss him, then he had another stupid freakout about being touched intimately and it wasn’t even _that_ much touching, and now he was feeling ridiculously sulky about Klaus having something else to do besides pay attention to him. When the fuck did he get this attached? When was one morning apart from Klaus suddenly too much? Is this what it felt like to have a… a crush, maybe? Or was he just being pathetic and _clingy_? 

Unacceptable. He’d never let himself be close enough to anyone to feel any of those things before and it was embarrassing. Not feeling anything for other people is how he’d survived this long, but then again, nobody had ever made him feel like Klaus before. It was basically all he could think about now that Klaus was feeling better. 

Diego was only just now realizing how wild that was given all the other more important shit going on that he should be much more worried about, like the FBI being involved in ChaCha’s murder case. It was so easy to forget they were still very much in danger while they were here in this nice, cozy house on the outskirts of civilization. Instead of the FBI or the gang or Luther, his biggest concern in the world at the moment was Klaus not giving him undivided attention for a few hours. Couldn’t they just go back to bed after breakfast so Diego could nuzzle his face back into Klaus’ neck instead? 

_Jesus Christ, snap the fuck out of it, idiot,_ he scolded himself. 

Diego barely registered that they had all sat down at the dining room table instead of the kitchen table, too busy pouting to tune in to what was happening around him. Klaus was at the end and Agnes and Diego were on either side of him at the long dining table. He must have audibly heaved a deep sigh because Klaus looked up from his potatoes that he was dumping ketchup on and searched Diego’s face. Then he felt Klaus bump his knee with his own. 

“You alright?” he asked, and Diego wished he wouldn’t. The last thing he wanted to do was talk about his fucking feelings, especially with Agnes sitting right there. 

“Yeah, why?” Diego responded, trying to put on a more pleasant face.

“You just seem mad about something. And you haven’t even touched your food,” Klaus said, nodding toward Diego’s plate.

“Everything is fine, Klaus. I’m just thinking deeply, I guess,” he said, then tried to play it off a little lighter because Klaus was looking at him skeptically. “Haven’t had enough coffee yet.” 

He wondered how Klaus would feel if he knew what Diego was thinking about. Would he be flattered? Would he think Diego was being ridiculous for wishing he would spend time with him instead, as if they haven’t spent the last week together nonstop? It seemed a little narcissistic to think that Klaus would _like_ to know that he was on Diego’s mind so much. But… he really thought it was probably true, and that was the only thing keeping Diego from shutting that part of himself down completely. This wasn’t one sided, Klaus was _certainly_ into him too, but it was definitely still complicated.

Diego glanced at Agnes and Klaus’ plates and realized they were almost done and he still had barely even put a dent in his own. He focused on finishing quickly, shoveling potatoes in his mouth like he hadn’t eaten in days. Counter to his current feelings, Diego decided maybe it was a good thing that Klaus and Agnes were about to leave him alone. He was having a hard time acting like a normal person at the moment and he evidently needed some time to sort himself out. 

After everyone carried their dishes to the sink, Agnes and Klaus went outside and left Diego to his own devices. Agnes invited him to help, but he turned her down. He liked to cook with fresh produce but the actual gardening aspect held little interest for him. Instead he pensively cleaned up the kitchen, tidied up their bedroom and made the bed, and then took a bath and changed the dressing on his wound. He managed to find a random bar of Irish Spring soap in one of the bathroom cupboards, so at least now he smelled like pine trees instead of roses.

When he finished dressing and looked at the clock on the bedroom wall he groaned. It had only been a little over an hour, there is no way they were done out there. What the fuck did he even do with his life before Klaus occupied 99.9% of his time? He worked out, but his arm was still healing and he didn’t want to mess that up any more than it already was. He read books, but it was a lot harder to focus on reading now that he wasn’t locked in a cell most of the time. He could watch TV since he hadn’t in forever, but that sounded like a culture shock he wasn’t ready to deal with at the moment. Before prison he used to like to throw knives at the tree in his backyard, but he didn’t think Agnes would be very cool about him using her kitchen knives to destroy her trees. He also used to like to play games on his Super Nintendo as a kid, also not an option. There was literally nothing to do but sit around and wait for Klaus to be done, and he felt like such a boring loser.

In the end Diego decided to put on his new shoes, take his book outside and at least be where other people were, which was a big change of interest for him. Normally he loved being alone. Instead, he sat in the middle of Agnes’ flower garden on a stone bench under a white wicker arch covered in dark purple clematis flowers. He could see Klaus and Agnes over in the vegetable patch from where he was sitting but they didn’t seem to notice him come out of the house yet. He rolled his eyes at himself for the flutter in his heart when he saw Klaus on his knees in the garden, a lit cigarette hanging from his lips as he pulled up fresh carrots out of the dirt and looking pleased about it, like they were buried treasures he found all by himself. 

Diego could feel himself starting to wax on poetically in his mind about how adorable it was that Klaus could take literally any boring task and make it look fun, so he tore his eyes away and opened his book instead. He could not spend the entire time he was out here just staring at Klaus like a weirdo. He had to get his mind on something else or he was going to kick his own ass, so help him.

Eventually he managed to get lost in his book, but only because Agnes and Klaus moved to a berry patch behind a tiny shed-sized greenhouse halfway down the property and he couldn’t see them anymore. The late morning sun was starting to get hot, and it made all the flowers around him even more fragrant. Diego figured the hotter it got, the more likely Klaus was to tap out for the day. How many ripe things could there be out there, anyway? 

Diego looked up from his book just in time to see Klaus walking up the stone path toward him holding a handful of wild flowers. He was smiling so sweet and happy that it was hard to believe Diego had ever seen him cry. There was dirt and bits of grass on his bare knees, dirt under his fingernails and a little smudged on his forehead where he’d wiped some sweat away. The sunshine and green tank top brought out the color of his pretty eyes so well that Diego could see them from several yards off and it took his breath away.

“Hey, I know you probably don’t care about flowers, but I picked these for you, anyway,” Klaus said, holding out the handful of daisies and pink phlox flowers in front of Diego.

Nothing could have prepared him for the explosion of emotions he felt all at once. They were just random flowers, but they meant so much more to him than that. It meant Klaus was thinking about him while they were apart too, enough to want to bring him something even though they were literally surrounded by flowers that he could have easily picked on his own. Nobody had ever given him a token of affection like this before, especially no one like Klaus. It was overwhelming, but not as overwhelming as the urge to kiss him, like stronger than ever before. 

He looked back and forth between Klaus and the flowers a few times and Klaus seemed afraid that Diego might be annoyed with him about it. On the contrary, Diego had never felt a flood of sentiment like this take over him in his life. He stood up in such a rush his book fell against the stone path at his feet, then he took the flowers from Klaus’ hand. He couldn’t let himself overthink, he just had to fucking _go for it._

So he did. He leaned forward and wrapped his arm around Klaus’ waist, the flowers still clutched in his fist behind Klaus’ back. Klaus seemed alarmed until Diego pulled his body up against his own, closed his eyes and swiftly leaned in enough to press his lips against Klaus’. It was only awkward for a split second, until Klaus realized what was happening and melted into him, his hand lifting up to hold Diego’s jaw. In that moment Diego didn’t panic, he didn’t worry if he was doing it right or if it was too soon or any other neurotic thing he normally worried about. All he could think about was Klaus against him, his warm, soft lips on his own and the fireworks in his heart. _This_ is what he always imagined a first kiss to feel like; spontaneous, sweet, urgent, and initiated by himself rather than just enduring it while it happened to him. He was practically euphoric, lost in how much he was feeling for Klaus in that moment.

After a few seconds that felt like forever, Klaus couldn’t contain his smile anymore, grinning against Diego’s lips too much to keep his lips pursed. Diego leaned back and opened his eyes but kept his arm around Klaus’ waist, staring at his cute, amused face. Klaus ran his thumb across Diego’s cheek with the hand on his jaw affectionately as he stared back into Diego’s eyes. He clearly didn’t see that coming, but to be fair, neither did Diego.

“Okay so you _do_ like flowers, then?” Klaus said, making Diego grin too.

“I like you,” Diego said, then leaned back in to kiss his cheek. Klaus rolled his eyes softly but Diego could see by the blush on his cheeks and his smile that he was flattered. 

“Hey, are you boys going to help me carry in all these baskets or do I have to do it myself?” Agnes called from over by the vegetable patch.

“She seems sweet but she’s a slave driver out in the garden. Did you know raspberry bushes have thorns? Look,” Klaus said, stepping back from Diego and holding up his hands. Diego saw they were covered in tiny scratches all over, like he stuck his hands in a box of feral kittens. “I picked like 700 raspberries and let me tell you, that shit stopped being fun after the first 50, but she wanted them all picked.”

“You could have just said no,” Diego said, then bent to pick up his book off the ground.

“I mean I’m mostly kidding, I didn’t really mind. Plus, we’re living in her house. I’m never telling her no for any reason,” Klaus said, looking over his shoulder. “We better get over there, though. It’s getting fucking hot out here, anyway.”

“What if I told you there are popsicles waiting in the freezer when we get inside?” Diego said. It made Klaus smile again immediately and Diego was never tired of seeing it. 

It turned out Klaus wasn’t exaggerating much, there really was a shitload of raspberries in small bushel baskets to take inside, among all the other vegetables they picked. Diego carried more than he should have with his injured arm, but they got it all inside with one trip between the three of them. As soon as they set the baskets on the counter Diego made a stop at the freezer, ripped open the popsicle box and pulled out two random ones. Then he took Klaus’ hand and led him back out into the sunroom before Agnes could rope them into helping with all the washing and junk that was still left to do. 

“Fuck, I can’t believe just that little bit of activity wore me out,” Klaus said, then kicked off his shoes and flopped his whole body down on the couch, long torso and legs taking up the entire thing. Diego was going to sit next to him, but he figured Klaus needed the relaxing lounge space at the moment.

“You’re still recovering from being sick for days, that happens. You’ll bounce back,” Diego said, leaning his butt against the arm of the couch next to Klaus’ feet. He opened the end of one popsicle package. “Do you like red?”

“Yes, who doesn’t like red popsicles?” Klaus asked, holding up his hand to catch the popsicle as Diego shrugged and tossed it to him. 

“You’ve had weirder food aversions, I wasn’t sure,” Diego said, tearing open the other popsicle. It was also red, which was exactly what Diego was hoping for. 

He should have had the foresight to realize that there was no innocent-looking way of eating a popsicle once you’re not a kid anymore, but he didn’t. Instead he popped it in his mouth and twisted the stick, bringing it in and out of his mouth a couple times before he glanced over at Klaus. Oh damn. Klaus had paused right before shoving his own popsicle in his mouth, staring intently at Diego with a raised eyebrow. 

On one hand, he kind of wanted to try flirting that way since he never had before. But on the other hand, absolutely fucking not. The last thing that needed to happen to him today was another panic attack because things got too intense. No reason to not have fun with it anyway, though. 

Without breaking eye contact he licked the popsicle back into his mouth slowly, just long enough for Klaus’ breath to hitch in his chest. Then he bit down, snapping off the whole top part with his teeth sharply. Klaus’ jaw fell open and he frowned, making Diego laugh so suddenly he almost inhaled the chunk of popsicle.

“That was rude, you’re such a shithead,” Klaus said, nudging Diego’s hip playfully with his foot. Diego continued to chuckle around the freezing chunk in his mouth, feeling more than satisfied that he got the exact reaction he was hoping for. Once he chewed it up and swallowed he had to wipe his red-stained mouth on his hand. 

“I’m sorry, two men eating popsicles in the same room is just too awkward. I had to break the tension,” Diego said, but he wasn’t sorry at all, at least not yet. 

“Sometimes tension is good, especially that kind,” Klaus said, but Diego was too busy realizing his mistake to listen. 

“Oh shit, I’m sorry,” he said with a concerned frown, much more sincerely this time. Klaus knitted his eyebrows and looked confused. “I said ‘men’ and I remember you saying you didn’t like that. I wasn’t thinking.”

“Oh,” Klaus said, then gave a one-shouldered shrug. “It’s okay, it’s not a big deal.”

“Yes it is!” Diego insisted, picking up one of Klaus’ feet so he could slide down the arm of the couch onto the cushion, then rested Klaus’ leg down on his thigh. Klaus sighed and licked the bottom of his popsicle before it dripped on his hand. 

“It happens. I know how I look to other people, it’s an easy mistake,” Klaus said, but Diego could hear by his tone that he was tired of having this conversation with people. Diego wanted to understand, though, because if it was important enough for Klaus to mention right in the door, he wanted to respect it and get it right. 

“Doesn’t it bother you, though?”

“Sometimes, I guess. But it’s not like the way I am is a common thing. Most people don’t understand, anyway,” Klaus said, shoving the whole popsicle in his mouth so just the stick was between his lips.

“But like when Agnes calls us ‘boys,’ why don’t you correct her or at least explain it the way you did with me?” Diego asked. He’d been curious about that since they’d arrived but didn’t know how to ask. Klaus took the popsicle out of his mouth and sighed.

“Because it gets fucking exhausting trying to explain it to people, especially when I know they aren’t going to give a shit anyway,” Klaus said, and he was looking everywhere but Diego’s face. Not like him. “Am I supposed to get pissed off every time someone inevitably fucks it up? I have better things to do.” 

“You don’t have to get pissed, but you can still be assertive when people ignore it after you’ve already told them,” Diego said, wishing he didn’t have this stupid melting popsicle in his hand anymore.

“Well I know you weren’t ignoring it out of disrespect, so it’s different. It’s just a slip up, Diego, it happens. It’s fine, really,” Klaus said, shrugging again.

“Well is there something in particular you do like to be called?” 

“Not really. I honestly haven’t given it that much thought, because it would just complicate my life even more,” Klaus said, biting off the last bit of his popsicle and shoving the stick back in the bag. Diego had so many questions but he didn’t want to overwhelm him, so he tried to pick the next ones carefully. 

“What about pronouns? I call you ‘he’ when I talk about you to other people, is that okay?” 

“Yeah, it’s fine. But like, if someone called me ‘she’ I wouldn’t mind that either, or I knew a couple people like me back in Philly that tried to go by ‘they,’ but... literally nobody respected that for them either. Not in that neighborhood, anyway,” Klaus said and sighed through his nose. “Like, can you imagine if I walked into Craig’s place and tried to tell him and his girls that I wanted to be referred to exclusively as ‘they’? Or if I tried to tell johns at the bar that? Exactly zero of them would ever acknowledge or follow through with it. It’s easier for people like them to just think of me as a man in a skirt rather than like, someone more complex than that.”

“Well, I’m not those people. I want to use whatever terms you’re comfortable with,” Diego said, mirroring Klaus by biting off the last of his popsicle and shoving the stick back in the package. The corners of Klaus’ mouth quirked up a bit when Diego said that, like maybe he hadn’t heard it before, or at least not often. Or maybe he just appreciated the effort. 

“I’m comfortable with any of those, honestly, because I really do feel like on any given day I’m kind of all of the above all the time. It’s not like I wake up one morning and I think ‘today I want to be a girl’ and only do feminine things that day or anything,” Klaus said, biting his lip for a moment while I thought about it. “Putting a label on it is hard, because I just like not having to worry about if something I like is ‘too girly’ or ‘too masculine’ or whatever. Why do objects and clothing and interests have to be gendered at all, you know? Why do _I_ have to be gendered? I just want to be a person, and choose what I wear and do based on what makes me happy, not what society thinks I should be doing or looking like. I hate having to think about it _every_ fucking minute of my life. Like ‘am I going to get my ass kicked for wearing a cute dress to this party? Guess we’ll find out the hard way!’”

“Has that happened to you?” Diego blurted out before he thought it through. He already knew the answer, Klaus didn’t have to confirm it. The look on his face basically said the same thing, but Diego was too upset by the idea of anyone hurting Klaus to stop himself. 

“Of course it has. Do you know what the statistics are for hate crimes against people like me? I can’t quote it exactly off the top of my head, but it’s not great. A lot of people see me as subhuman since they can’t figure me out, so they think they can treat me however they want. Even some other gay people can be shitty about gender stuff sometimes, so it’s not just straight people treating me like I’m garbage,” Klaus said, every word of it making Diego want to find anyone that’s ever hurt Klaus and beat them to the ground. “But I’m not going to let that stop me from doing whatever the fuck I want to do. If I want to wear a dress and glitter on my eyelids, I’m fucking going to. I refuse to live in fear because other people are ignorant assholes.”

“I love that about you,” Diego said, again without thinking. He didn’t mean to use ‘the L-word,’ making his anxiety spike, but it was still true. It’s what made him attracted to Klaus in the first place. Klaus was staring at him directly now, just as surprised that Diego said it, too. 

“Really?” Klaus asked softly, and Diego could see the doubt in his eyes. He couldn’t backpedal now, he could tell it meant too much to Klaus to hear that for him to try and downplay it. He swallowed his anxiety and reinforced the sentiment instead.

“Really, Klaus. You’re so _free_ and brave and unapologetically who you are, and fuck anyone that can’t appreciate that. I wish I could be that way. I spent so long being hyper-aware of _every_ move I made in prison, doing so many things I didn’t want to do because I was afraid of the repercussions if I didn’t, afraid of being thought of as weak or soft for even a _second_ ,” Diego said, the words tumbling out of his mouth so fast he couldn’t stop them. It was so easy to be vulnerable around Klaus, and it felt good to let it out even if it scared him to admit these things out loud. “When… when I got out I had no idea who I really was, because I spent so long building this ruthless gangster persona. But then I saw you in the bar and…”

“And what?” Klaus asked, listening so intently Diego wasn’t even sure if he’d blinked the whole time he'd been speaking. He had to look away, the eye contact too intense, but he dragged his fingers over the side of Klaus’ thigh mindlessly and forced himself to keep speaking. 

“And I wanted to know you. I didn’t understand it then, but I was genuinely attracted to someone for the first time that I could even remember. Not like, ‘oh I want to sleep with him’ kind of attraction necessarily, but I wanted to talk to you, I just didn’t know how. That’s why I kept coming back, waiting for the moment I would be able to figure out what to say. I didn’t want you to think I was there for, you know, for sex or anything, and I didn’t want you to think I was just another asshole in a gang, but at the time that’s all I thought I was, too,” Diego said, swallowing hard and making himself look back at Klaus. “I still don’t know who I am, really, but every day I spend with you I learn more about myself, or at least who I want to be.”

“Jesus, Diego,” Klaus said, inhaling sharply and holding his heart. “That’s the coolest thing anyone has ever said to me. You literally have to kiss me right now.”

Diego let out a small huff of laughter and rolled his eyes affectionately. “Okay.”

It was an awkward position, Klaus lying down with Diego sitting sideways on the couch between his knees. Diego shifted and leaned forward toward Klaus as much as he could without having to kneel on one leg, and Klaus lifted himself up on one hand to close the distance. Still just a little too far, so Klaus grabbed the chest of Diego’s shirt with his other hand and pulled him even closer, which was way sexier than Diego would have thought. When their lips finally met the awkwardness melted away immediately, just like earlier.

He expected it to just be a quick one, but Klaus didn’t let go of his shirt. The way their lips landed made it so easy for Klaus to suck Diego’s bottom lip between his, so he did, which was also way sexier than Diego expected. He let out an embarrassing little noise against Klaus’ mouth but he didn’t chicken out. When his bottom lip slipped out of Klaus’ mouth he got brave and licked along the seam of his lips. Kissing with tongue was so weird, but he felt Klaus smile against his tongue, then parted his lips to let Diego in and it was so _good_. He tasted like smoke and cherry, making Diego’s heart race as their tongues met and slid together, but only briefly. He did pull back slightly then, taking a deep breath and opening his eyes only a few inches from Klaus’ face. Klaus opened his eyes too, his mouth curving into a satisfied smirk. He leaned forward to give Diego one more quick, wet peck, then let go of his shirt and dropped himself back against the arm of the couch. 

Diego bit his lip as he looked down at Klaus, wishing he could just lay down over him and keep kissing him breathless all afternoon. He had to respect his own limits though, even when that limit was such a small, frustrating amount. He would rather be stuck in a perpetual yearning-for-more state than push himself too far and make it unpleasant for both of them. For the time being Klaus seemed plenty content with what Diego could give him, so he tried to not fret too much. It was just hard because he knew how experienced Klaus was. He’d probably had thousands of better, more satisfying kisses in his life. Diego didn’t know how he could ever measure up and it made him afraid to even keep trying. 

“What are you thinkin’ about?” Klaus asked, reaching up to graze his finger over the underside of Diego’s chin to get his attention. Apparently he’d zoned out and started staring blankly down at Klaus’ chest.

“Nothing really,” Diego said, because how was he supposed to say he was worried about his stupid kissing skills, or lack there of. He saw Klaus’ eyebrows furrow slightly for a second and then relax. He definitely knew Diego was avoiding the truth, but he’d also learned enough about Diego at this point to not press him for information.

“Okay, well I’ll tell you what I’m thinking about instead, then,” Klaus said, which was such a relief. “I’m thinking about how I’ve been hanging out with you for over a week now, sleeping next to you, kissing you, saving your life, and I don’t even know your last name.”

“Oh, it’s Calderón,” he said, and it made him think of his dad which was annoying, but not Klaus’ fault.

He realized he was still hovering between Klaus’ legs and that was weird so he scooted back on the couch to lean against the other arm again. He left Klaus’ leg over his thigh, though. He liked the weight of it over his; it was a nice, casual way to feel connected without being _too_ close.

“Is that what they called you in prison? Or did you have like a sweet gangster nickname?” Klaus asked. Diego snorted.

“I wish,” he said, sighing because he knew Klaus was going to ask what it was, and he was going to think it was _cute_ instead of humiliating the way Diego did.

“Okay so are you going to tell me? You don’t have to, I’m just curious,” Klaus said. Diego sighed again and stared at Klaus with narrowed eyes for a moment.

“I’ll tell you, but swear you’re not going to laugh. I hated it so much,” Diego said, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose for a second. He hoped maybe Klaus wouldn’t know the meaning of the word because it was Spanish, but then he remembered Klaus said he was quick to pick up other languages. 

“I promise,” Klaus said, but he was already grinning just from the warning.

“It was… Pequeño,” he said, immediately resigning himself to being embarrassed. It took Klaus a couple seconds of thinking before he covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smile.

“Doesn’t that mean like, ‘baby’ or something?” Klaus asked from behind his hand.

“Close enough. It means ‘ _little one_ ,’” Diego said, and Klaus had to slap his other hand over the first one to stop himself from laughing. Diego could still see the mirth in his eyes, but it was impossible not to smile along with Klaus, even though saying the name out loud made him want to die. Klaus was basically smothering himself to not lose his shit, muffled snorting behind his hands. “It’s not funny, Klaus. You said you wouldn’t laugh.”

“I’m sorry!” Klaus said, bringing his hands down and cackling openly. Diego tried to fight his smile so hard his cheeks hurt. Klaus was too fucking cute, it wasn’t fair. Nobody else could make him smile about something that had actually caused him a serious amount of strife. “I’m so sorry, I’m sure that was the absolute worst thing to be called in prison, but it’s sooo fucking adorable!”

“They might as well have just named me ‘little bitch,’ because that’s what it felt like,” Diego said, shaking his head at Klaus, who was literally wiping tears away he was giggling so hard. “Someone called me that as an insult during my initiation but it fucking _stuck._ I guess that’s what I get for going to prison as a teenager, but it made me get really tough really fast.”

“Yeah, I bet!” Klaus said, finally sobering himself a little and clearing his throat. “So, did you have a cellmate or was it one of those like, open bunk situations?”

“I had a cellmate. An old white guy, his name was Frank and he was 50 years older than me,” Diego said, watching Klaus blink in surprise just as Diego expected.

“Whoa, was he in a gang, too?”

“Not anymore, he was basically allowed to retire from that life because he was old as fuck. He was more like an advisor than anything,” Diego explained. His mixed feelings about Frank had never gone away, but it was hard to not remember him somewhat fondly. “The first day I got there he told me how to survive behind bars. His first advice was to stop crying, and never let anyone see me afraid or weak again. Best advice I’ve ever received, honestly.”

“Ugh, I guess maybe in prison, but it’s okay to cry, Diego. Sometimes it’s therapeutic,” Klaus said, folding his arms over his chest. 

Of course Diego understood that in theory, but in practice he couldn’t escape the horrible feeling of shame and self disgust that came with crying. It had been ingrained in him for eight years straight, and also by his father before that. He watched plenty of weak criers get hurt in prison, _he_ had hurt other men for crying before, too. When you shut that part of yourself down so fiercely for so long, it’s almost impossible to reverse that fucked up psychology. He was getting better about it the longer he was away from the lifestyle, but he didn’t expect to ever fully reverse what had been beaten into him for so long.

“For you, maybe,” Diego said, because he couldn’t ever see himself crying freely the way Klaus did, regardless of how much time had passed. “But Frank knew if I didn’t harden myself immediately that prison would destroy me, and he was right. He’s also the one that told me I needed to join a gang, because there was safety in numbers. Guards don’t fuck with you as much, other inmates fear you, you’re always protected. It had… perks.”

“Sure, you just have to sell your soul to the devil for them,” Klaus said impulsively, then immediately realized how that sounded. “Shit, sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Do you think I’m soulless?” Diego asked. It was mostly hypothetical but he still wanted Klaus to sit with the question for a few seconds; let him debate the morality of whether it was worse to be part of a violent prison gang vs. letting yourself be the gang’s victim instead. 

“No, Diego, not at all,” Klaus said, shaking his head and looking apologetic at the same time. “I just meant there are perks _and_ drawbacks. I know you were just doing what you had to do to protect yourself. No judgement, honestly. Plus, didn’t you say you were recruited? It’s not like you could say no.”

“I mean I could have, but I may not have survived the full sentence,” he said. He appreciated Klaus’ faith in him, but Diego didn’t think he would still have it if he knew the bad that Diego had done all by himself. “I just didn’t resist when they approached me because Frank seemed to know his shit. He’d been there for 30 years already, so I figured it was the smartest choice to trust him even though I was terrified of him at the same time. Plus, he never tried to fuck me so that helped.”

“God, prison is so messed up,” Klaus whispered, closing his eyes and shaking his head again.

“Right? I felt _lucky_ for having a child murderer with a life sentence as my cellmate instead of a rapist, which I still can’t wrap my head around even now,” Diego said, watching Klaus’ eyes fly open from that statement. 

“A _child_ murderer? What the fuck did he do?” Klaus asked.

“He murdered his wife and two kids, a 13 year old girl and a 16 year old boy,” Diego said, fully expecting the aghast, horror-struck look on Klaus’ face. “He found out his wife was cheating on him so he set his house on fire with her in it. He didn’t know his kids were home. They apparently had a half day of school he was unaware of, and they were hanging out in the basement when he set the fire. So they were an accident.”

“Jesus fucking _Christ._ What the fuck? How did you ever sleep in the same room as him? And this is who your _mentor_ was?” Klaus asked, sitting up with concern while he rattled off questions.

“You don’t get to choose your cellmate. I also didn’t know what he’d done for a few months, until after I had already been there a while and had taken his advice. What kind of people did you expect to be in prison, anyway? It was just me and a whole bunch of other murderers, rapists and drug dealers,” Diego said, shrugging. “All Frank did was hang out in his bunk and do crossword puzzles. I never felt threatened.”

“And you said you didn’t have any friends,” Klaus said sarcastically, shaking his head like he still couldn’t believe the shit Diego just said.

“I said I didn’t feel threatened, not that we were pals. After my first few days there ignored me 99% of the rest of the time, which was honestly great. He didn’t want to talk and I didn’t want to listen. Very copacetic,” Diego said. “He did tell me how to take care of the brand burn a few months later, but that was a brief exchange.”

“Well, he sounds uh - pretty chill, I guess,” Klaus said. Diego noticed him glance at the brand on his arm briefly and then lean back against the couch again. 

Diego didn’t really know what else to say about it, but he felt a little judged right now. Yeah, things were obviously fucked up in prison. You make alliances with people you’d never speak to in ‘real-life,’ even if it goes against your own moral code. Diego wasn’t proud of it, but it was what it was, and the only way he made it through. 

Be that as it may, he could still understand why Klaus would have a hard time digesting that, but only partially. Had they not discussed what Klaus had done, who he had relied on in the name of protection and survival? A dispicable pimp who traded sex with minors for cash, who controlled ‘his girls’ so much they weren’t even allowed to have their own money or buy thier own clothes - arguably a worse human being than Frank, in his opinion. 

Admittedly, he had also been pretty fucking vocally judgey when Klaus had told him that, too. He’d made Klaus cry, then. (God, he’d made Klaus cry so much in the short time they knew each other.) But he hadn’t been judging _Klaus_ for his association with someone like that, just that he had been crying about someone like Craig being dead. He felt like he knew Klaus well enough to know he wasn’t judging Diego necessarily for his choice of company in prison either, so he tried to relax. They’d both done things in the name of self preservation they were ashamed of, but that’s part of what bonded them, Diego thought. It’s certainly what made Diego be able to open up about this stuff to Klaus in the first place.

“I need a nap, I think,” Klaus said after a few minutes of leaving Diego to dwell in his own thoughts. 

He yawned and stretched with arms up, arching his back off the couch and moaning obscenely, the way you do when you stretch just right. Between the moan, the way Klaus’ thigh pressed heavily down against Diego’s, and the way his already too-short top rode up when he stretched, Diego clean forgot all about whatever he was thinking about before. By the time Klaus settled his body back down Diego was already feeling the embarrassing blush on his cheeks that happened whenever Klaus did something sexy. He thought about how he’d like to kiss all over the stretch of abdomen exposed by Klaus’ lifting shirt, then he had to look away for a second and take a shaky breath. It did make another random question he’d been wondering about for a while occur to him, though.

“Hey, do you remember that day in the diner,” Diego started, forcing himself to ask the rest of the question even though he felt like he already might know the answer. “When that waiter set the bill down in front of me instead of you without asking?”

“Yeah,” Klaus said, rubbing his eyes and blinking before looking at Diego again. “What about it?”

“You said he decided I was a ‘top,’” Diego said, watching Klaus become ten times more attentive to the conversation when he said it. “What did you mean?” 

“Uh,” Klaus said, giggling and then biting his bottom lip to keep it in. “It’s uh - it’s a sex thing.”

“I figured, or you would have explained it when I first asked. It’s fine, just tell me,” Diego said, realizing he absolutely _loved_ to see Klaus be the one to blush instead of him now. Klaus inhaled and closed his eyes until he finally composed himself enough to explain. 

“It means like, when you’re having sex you’re the uh,” Klaus said, clearing his throat before continuing. “- the _giver,_ rather than the receiver.”

“Oh, that’s probably true, then, yeah,” Diego said matter-of-factly, making Klaus blush even darker and blow out a hard exhale through his mouth. It turned out to be what he’d expected so Diego wasn’t nearly as affected, other than being amused by how it was affecting Klaus. “Does that make you a bottom, then?”

“God, Diego,” Klaus said, covering half his face with a hand and shaking his head. “How are _you_ making _me_ blush right now? I’m the stone cold slut, here, this should _not_ affect me like this.”

“I don’t know, but it’s really cute, though,” Diego said, smiling at the way Klaus couldn’t even look him in the eye now. He was having such a good time with the shoe being on the other foot for once; him making Klaus all flustered rather than always being the one blushing like a schoolgirl.

“I’m taking a nap, you dork. Either lay down with me or get up so I can stretch out,” Klaus said, crossing his arms over his chest and closing his eyes. He was still grinning like an idiot, which showed Diego that he was deliberately changing the subject. That was fine, Diego was already plenty satisfied with how it went.

“I’m going to go see if Agnes needs help, we kind of bailed on her,” Diego said, picking up Klaus’ leg again and shimmying out from under it.

Diego was just about to walk into the house when Klaus spoke again.

“I’m both, by the way,” Klaus said, keeping his eyes closed and arms crossed.

“Both?”

“Yeah, you asked if I was a bottom - I do both,” Klaus said, clearing his throat again. “You know, if you were still wondering or whatever.”

“Noted,” Diego said, chuckling to himself as he left Klaus alone to sleep.

Klaus ended up sleeping for quite a while, most of the afternoon. Diego figured it was still from being in withdrawal, so he let him sleep as long as he needed. It was definitely better than the insomnia phase, which Diego honestly expected to last a lot longer, but Klaus ended up being stronger than he expected, too. Diego was just about to wake him up, though. 

He had helped Agnes make a homemade pot pie for dinner, using up the rest of the vegetables he hadn’t got to yesterday. He was reluctant to be friendly with Agnes, but she made it so hard to keep his aloof, broody demeanor around her. Still, he felt like he had plenty of valid reasons to not be her _friend_ , but he could still be polite. His curiosity got the better of him while he watched her make fresh dough for the pie crust, since he’d only ever used pre-made dough from a tube. It was making him ridiculously nostalgic for being home in his own kitchen with Grace, when she would teach him how to make new things all the time.

Agnes was just pulling the golden brown, perfectly-baked pie out of the oven when Diego’s attention was drawn to the back door.

“Oh hey, I was just-” he said, but is voice died in his throat. He could see just by the look on Klaus’ face that he was ‘not okay’ again. 

Klaus streaked in and went right to him, wrapping his arms around Diego’s waist and burying his face in his shoulder. If this had happened only like five days ago Diego would have freaked out about having his personal space invaded so unexpectedly. But now he was instinctively wrapping his arms around Klaus too, pressing his nose into the side of his hair and rubbing his back soothingly. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay, it will pass,” he whispered, glancing at Agnes watching them and he wished she was literally anywhere else. She wasn’t doing anything wrong, just looking on sympathetically, but he still would prefer to keep these kind of moments private.

“I hate this,” Klaus whined against his shoulder.

“I know, it will be over soon, though,” Diego said. 

He wondered how his life had changed so much recently that he was suddenly who someone came to for _comfort_. That had certainly never happened before, but he didn’t hate it. If Klaus felt better just from being held by Diego, he would gladly do this whenever he needed it. Being needed this way was oddly satisfying too, despite the circumstances.

Diego felt Klaus’s hands around his back grope for a second as they found… his knotted apron string. Klaus pulled out of the embrace and held Diego out in front of him by his biceps. He stared down at Diego’s front, confused, as he took in the pink and white checkered apron Diego had borrowed from Agnes. 

“Am I hallucinating right now or are you wearing a fucking apron?” Klaus said, looking like he genuinely couldn’t decide if this was a dream or real life. Diego felt his cheeks blush but he tried to brush it off casually. 

“We made dough from scratch. I didn’t want to get covered in flour,” Diego said with a shrug, failing to mention they’d actually made the dough hours ago and he just forgot to take it off while they did other stuff in the kitchen while the dough set. 

“It looks good on you,” Klaus said with a wink and a sleepy smile, apparently distracted enough to forget that he’d been woken up by an overwhelming drug craving. Or maybe not forget, but at least ignore it easier. 

“No it doesn’t, but thanks,” Diego said, reaching behind himself and unknotting the apron. “Are you hungry?”

“I can basically always eat, especially if it smells that good,” Klaus said, just now noticing the pie on the stove. “Let me go smoke and use the bathroom real quick and I’ll be ready.”

“No worries, take your time, dear. It needs to cool a bit before we cut it, anyway,” Agnes said, breaking her observant silence. 

Dinner was early, but a great success. It was so weird for Diego to just sit down with other people at a table and have dinner like… like _family_. Except this wasn’t his family, because he didn’t have one anymore. He watched Klaus and Agnes carry on so easily, like this wasn’t the most surreal thing ever. Every time Diego caught himself enjoying himself, his brain stopped him and he felt almost guilty, like he didn’t deserve to be this content; like he didn’t belong there with these nice people that seemed to care about him for some reason.

By 5pm dinner was already over and cleaned up like they were a bunch of old people, due to be asleep in their recliners by 7pm. Diego managed to wash and put away all the dishes without smashing any, despite the numbness in his fingers showing no signs of relenting. Apparently Agnes and Klaus had agreed to watch something on TV after dinner when Diego wasn’t paying attention, and he begrudgingly joined them in the living room. 

It’s not like there was anything else to do, which was becoming an issue for him. He wasn’t quite stir-crazy yet, but he knew it was coming. Agnes’ would soon start to feel like another cage he was locked in. He couldn’t understand how Klaus seemed comfortable and so at home here, like they were just visiting an old relative for a while. But then again, Klaus seemed to be at home anywhere, even riding shotgun across the country with a fugitive. Another thing Diego envied and admired about him. Even without the drugs Klaus was a chameleon, easily fitting in with anyone, anywhere. Diego remembered him saying way earlier when they started this journey that he was frequently ‘too much’ for people, and had a hard time keeping friends, but Diego couldn’t see it. Maybe Klaus used to be crazier, louder, or more annoying in his youth, but not as much now? 

Right now Klaus was being calm and adorable, trying and failing to be sneaky about getting closer to Diego on the couch. He was all but leaning against Diego, with an obvious goal of trying to get Diego to put his arm around him. And how could he resist? So he didn’t, lifting his arm so Klaus could fall under it perfectly, like he was just _meant_ to be there. Diego smiled and dragged his fingers along Klaus’ shoulder while they stared at the TV. For a sweet moment he forgot why he’d been feeling so cynical for the last hour or so. 

Then he felt Klaus fucking _sniffing_ him like a dog. Again.

“Did you use a different soap?” Klaus asked, leaning in closer to sniff the bare skin of Diego’s neck. 

“Yes, I found some Irish Spring in the closet. I figured it was better than roses,” Diego said, but he could see by the wrinkle of Klaus’ nose that he was apparently wrong. “Or not?”

“You smell like… nevermind,” Klaus said, shaking his head and turning his focus back to the TV.

“No, now you have to tell me,” Diego said, lightly tapping Klaus’ arm under his hand. “Is it gross or something?”

“A little. You smell… like a truck stop bathroom,” Klaus said, chuckling at the face Diego made. “Not like the piss and trucker funk part, but like, the heavy deodorizer they use to cover the gross smell.”

“ _Ugh._ I want to argue that point, but I assume you’ve spent a lot more time in truck stop bathrooms than I have so, _fuck,_ I guess you’re probably right,” Diego said, sniffing his own armpit. 

It just smelled like pine trees and maybe a citronella candle to him, but evidently that’s the smell of bathroom deodorizer. The last thing Diego wanted was for Klaus to be reminded of blowing dirty-ass truckers when he smelled him. Absolutely horrifying. He was going to take another bath before bedtime, he decided. Maybe even take the steel wool scrub brush Agnes had in the kitchen in the tub with him, scrape a layer of skin off. Maybe just set himself on fire.

“I’m sorry! It’s fine, I didn’t notice until I was super close, so you don’t reek or anything,” Klaus said, resting his hand on Diego’s knee and patting it patronizingly.

“I bought that soap for Hazel and he refused to use it,” Agnes interjected, making matters even worse. Apparently Diego had worse taste than fucking Hazel, now. That was just great. 

“Do you wanna go for a walk?” Klaus asked abruptly, noticing that Diego was getting irritated.

“It’s almost dark,” Diego said, but it wasn’t really an opposition. It’s not like they haven’t walked in the dark before.

“What about it?” Klaus said, shrugging the shoulder Diego’s arm was hanging over. 

“There’s bug spray in the sunroom. The mosquitoes will be out soon,” Agnes said, even though Diego didn’t remember inviting her to this conversation.

“Thanks,” Diego said shortly, picking up his arm so Klaus could get off of him. As soon as Klaus sat up Diego got off the couch, back to feeling stormy again. Klaus followed him out to the kitchen and then stopped in the middle. 

“Shit, I lost my lighter,” he said, slapping his front and back pockets. Diego stopped too, then managed to smirk and shake his head. Of course he did.

“I’m buying you a lighter leash,” he said.

“No the fuck you’re not. Those are the lamest things ever,” Klaus said. Diego watched him pull a cigarette out of the pack. “Just wait a sec.”

Then he watched Klaus go over to the stove with the cigarette between his lips, ignite the burner and bend his face over the open fucking flame. Once he lit the tip, he flipped the burner off and raced past Diego and out of the back door, as if that was going to stop the smell from getting in the house. Diego watched him streak past, wondering exactly how Klaus has lived this long, as usual. Also not for the first time, Diego asked himself how in the world he was attracted to someone like Klaus, but decided it wasn’t worth dissecting. He just had to accept there was something about Klaus he sincerely adored, even when he did dumb shit like using the stove to light a cigarette. Or perhaps, if he was honest with himself, _especially_ when Klaus did dumb, weird shit like that. 

As soon as Diego got outside, he felt freer, less trapped than he had before. Klaus was only a few paces from the screen door, smiling brightly as soon as he saw Diego, like he hadn’t just seen him 15 seconds ago inside. And that had to be part of it, part of the reason Diego was so, as Agnes called it ‘ _ass over tea kettle_ ’ for him. Klaus was always happy to see him, lighting up the dusky purple skyline with his smile.

“I forgot the bug spray,” Klaus said in a slightly-strangled voice, then exhaled a huge plume of smoke. 

“I’ll get it,” Diego said, starting to turn back, but Klaus called after him.

“No, it’s fine! Come here,” he said, holding out his hand. Of course Diego went to him immediately, drawn to Klaus like a magnet. 

“So where are we walking, exactly?” Diego asked, taking Klaus’ hand and waiting for him to take the lead.

“I don’t know, it’s empty for miles. Just, anywhere,” Klaus said, starting to walk back toward the greenhouse and raspberry patch from earlier. Diego fell in step with him, holding his hand and feeling those dumb butterflies even though nothing was even happening that should make him feel that way.

The sun was gone now, just the faintest hint of dark purple left behind the mountains in the distance. It was still warm from the daylight, but there was a crisp chill sneaking in with nightfall and Diego found himself being concerned about Klaus in shorts. He rolled his eyes at himself, and he knew Klaus would do the same if Diego voiced that thought, so he kept quiet. They both did, just silently enjoying each other’s company. 

They quickly passed the greenhouse and the raspberry patch until they got to some tall, mostly dead grass at the end of Agnes’ property. Until then Klaus had stared ahead, or at the ground, or at Diego, but when he finally looked up he gasped.

“Whoa,” Klaus said, so Diego looked up at what he was looking at, and he had to admit it was pretty cool. 

The sky was crystal clear and purpley-black, dotted with more stars than he’d ever seen in his life. With no tall buildings or city light pollution to dull the starlight, it was a truly breathtaking sight. They’d both lived in the city, or in Diego’s case the suburbs, for their whole lives. The stars definitely didn’t look like this back home. 

Except Diego only stared at it for a few seconds, and then he found his attention being drawn back to Klaus. Watching him be awestruck by the country night sky was better than actually staring at the sky itself, and Diego tried not to let himself bully himself about it. He wanted to just enjoy the moment, but even still, he could feel himself wanting to stifle the feeling, being _afraid_ of the feeling, even. He didn’t know how to handle liking someone as much as he liked Klaus. It felt like it was consuming him more and more each day they spent together, and it felt so _good_ and right _,_ but also dangerous and foreign.

“Let’s sit for a little bit,” Klaus said, his legs already folding under himself as he sat in the grass. He tugged on Diego’s hand, so he complied, sitting next to Klaus and trying to mute that annoying part of himself that wanted to resist this out of fear. 

“Aren’t you cold?” Diego asked, because he was feeling awkward for no reason and had no idea what else to say. Of the two things on his mind, that was the less lame one, though. 

“Diego it’s still like 65 degrees out, I’m fine,” Klaus said, squeezing his hand and pulling it closer in his lap. He kept his eyes on the sky though, staring up like they were at a fireworks show. “Did you know there were this many fucking stars? Have there always been this many and I am just that unobservant, or am I tripping right now?”

“There have always been that many, we just never get to see them in the city because of all the lights,” Diego said, and Klaus finally looked at him.

“Oh, duh, that makes sense. God, I’m stupid,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes at himself and smiling sheepishly. 

“You’re not stupid, Klaus. Stop saying that,” Diego said sternly. Klaus let out a soft snort but kept his smile. 

“You really make my trademark self deprecating humor difficult, you know that?”

“I’m not sorry,” Diego said, shrugging. “It’s only funny if the things you’re deprecating are true.”

Klaus’ smile fell slightly and he looked away, back up at the stars, but there was clearly something on his mind. Diego couldn’t tell if Klaus was busy thinking that he was wrong about him not being stupid, or if it was something else entirely. He wondered if maybe Klaus was having the same fears as him; The fear of letting someone have his affect on him, of letting someone get this close when they’d both lived a life that taught them not to trust people.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” Klaus asked, breaking the silence and confusing Diego even further. _What_ was weird? This moment? Whatever this was between them? Just life in general?

“Uh, explain,” Diego said, feeling his blood pressure climb a little. He also felt Klaus hold his hand tighter and he could see that Klaus was getting emotional by the way he was staring up sightlessly at the sky. He blinked a couple times and finally looked at Diego again. 

“Just, everything. A little more than a week ago I was… I was turning tricks in the city, high as fuck every waking moment, begging my pimp not to kill me- just the usual, going no where really fast, you know? And everything has been _so_ fucking surreal since the night I left with you,” he said, his gaze falling down to their hands in his lap. Diego could sense he had more to say so he didn’t respond, just watched Klaus while he collected his thoughts. “Do you remember when you told me about being stuck in solitary, how you almost convinced yourself you might be dead? Because there were no signs that you weren’t?”

“Yes,” Diego said, licking his lips nervously. He had no idea where this was going, but it didn’t sound good. While he waited for Klaus to speak again he decided the crickets were extremly fucking noisy all of a sudden. 

“I feel that way being here sometimes. After shooting ChaCha and just the rest of that night being the worst moments of my fucking life, followed by a drive here the next day that I barely remember, then the withdrawal where I was out of my mind, too…,” Klaus explained. Diego was listening intently, not even breathing. “And then I woke up here, in this fucking beautiful, serene place full of flowers and safety and comfort, plus Agnes being an actual angel, too… I really sometimes wonder if I’m dead and this is some weird heaven, but-”

“You’re not dead, I promise,” Diego finally interrupted. Klaus looked at him again and smiled softly. 

“ _But_ … I know I can’t be dead, because of you,” Klaus said, which seemed like a flattering sentiment, but it cleared up exactly zero things for Diego. He just wasn’t picking up what Klaus was laying down yet, but thankfully Klaus continued without expecting a response. “Okay so do you remember what I told you the other day? About how when you first get sober, nothing feels real? Not even yourself?”

“Yeah, I remember that, too.”

“Well, that’s still true, except for you. I can’t dissociate from you the way I do everything else, because when I look at you… I feel solid, like, tethered to this reality. When I’m starting to slip into that mindset I just… I hold your hand and it keeps me present. I feel real, and like I’m going to make it out to the other side of all of this. Like _we_ are going to make it to the other side of this... It’s the reason I didn’t walk out the other night when you caught me at the door, because I saw you and it was the only thing I could feel stronger than needing to be high again,” Klaus said, then let out a shaky, nervous laugh as he wiped a stray tear away. “Sorry, I know that’s really heavy and kind of a lot of pressu-”

Diego cut him off by leaning over and kissing him softly, because it was exactly what his heart wanted. All his fear and doubt was momentarily drowned out by the flood of affection, appreciation, and what he had to assume was _love_ he was feeling from hearing Klaus admit that to him. The butterflies inside were going apeshit, adrenalin was pounding so loud in his ears that he was sure Klaus had to hear it too, but Diego refused to let it stop him from throwing his heart behind this any longer. 

Diego pulled back just long enough to make sure Klaus was into this and he hadn’t read the moment wrong. Klaus smirked and let go of his hand, then turned himself toward him for a better angle. Diego rested his palm in the grass next to Klaus’ hip and they leaned back in together. The light press of lips was sweet, but Klaus slipping his tongue in Diego’s mouth was even better. He let Klaus take the lead because this was still new territory for him, letting himself just get lost in the exhilarating sensation. Then Klaus’ hands were on his face, in his hair, fingertips on his neck, elevating the experience so much that Diego had to pull back for a breath. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, but Klaus ignored him, just moving his wet kisses to Diego’s cheek, jaw and neck. 

Diego’s breath hitched and he let out a soft moan when Klaus sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck. It was so fucking good, sending sparks of pleasure through his whole body. It was too much, he knew it, but he didn’t ever want it to stop. Except when he felt heat pooling in his groin he _had_ to make it stop, right now, before they had a repeat of the motel room situation. He picked up his hand from the grass and cupped both sides of Klaus’ face, trying to gently push him away without making a huge deal out of it. Klaus whined but complied, leaning back and taking one of Diego’s hands in his, kissing his knuckles. That was the second time he’d done that, and _God,_ did it make Diego weak. 

“I’m sorry, I just-” he said again, but Klaus shook his head and smiled. 

“Don’t apologize, I get it,” Klaus said, then leaned back in to give him another quick peck on the cheek. “But please, feel free to surprise kiss me like that anytime you want to, okay? Carte blanche. I love it.”

“Okay,” Diego said, unable to stop his face from giving Klaus a goofy, euphoric grin. 

“M’kay so maybe I am a little cold,” Klaus admitted, breaking their affectionate gaze to rub his bare arms. Diego had never wished he was wearing a jacket more in his life, because he would immediately offer it to Klaus. 

“Alright, let’s get back,” Diego said, pushing himself up off the ground with his uninjured arm. Once he was standing he offered his hand and pulled Klaus up, too. 

‘Lucky’ was a word Diego had never used to describe himself, but tonight, walking hand in hand with Klaus under the stars, he felt it. How did he get so lucky to find someone he could feel this way about? Someone that he could let his guard down with and feel this good with? He didn’t think it was possible before now, and he knew he would do anything to keep this, keep _him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Next chapter will be posted 7/10! I hope you're all still having a great time reading! ♥
> 
> \- Quick note: I know gender identity is a sensitive topic for a lot of people, and I can't pretend I'm going to get it 'right' for everyone since everyone has different personal definitions/experiences of gender fluidity/non-binary identity AND everyone has different Klaus headcanons, but I hope it hits everyone okay! Just keep in mind that Klaus doesn't have access to the internet, or even books really, or a community where he would be supported and could learn about these things. All he knows his how he feels, so he doesn't quite have the language that we do today to explain.


	14. The Hierophant: Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** there's a spider in the basement (if you're an arachnophobe like me I assume you'd want a heads up lol)

_** September 7th, 2015, 6:32AM ** _

Diego woke up with a smile on his face for the first time in… at least a decade. The day before had been so nice, it was easy to drift off to sleep spooned up behind Klaus and pretend nothing was wrong outside the four walls of the bedroom. He had no troubling dreams, no night terrors or insomnia, and he had never felt so refreshed. It actually took his brain a few moments to realize that Klaus was not in bed. 

There was _no need to panic again_ , Diego told himself. He still sat up in a big hurry anyway, squinting through the darkness to see if there was a light under the bathroom door. There wasn’t, so he kicked off the covers and headed out of the room. No light coming from the other bathroom either, but the living room light was on and he could see Klaus sitting on the couch. Diego wanted to be relieved by the sight, but he could tell just by looking at him that something was not alright. Klaus was hunched over, staring at the floor, elbows on his knees and hands clasped behind his bowed head. Diego walked toward him at a quick pace, but froze when he saw Agnes sitting in her armchair with her arms crossed, looking disappointed. 

“What’s going on?” he asked, rubbing the sleep out of both corners of his eyes to better assess the situation. 

Klaus didn’t speak or even look up. Agnes sighed. 

“Tell him what happened, Klaus,” she said, like a stern mother making her little kid return the candy bar they stole from the store. Klaus shook his head under his hands and Diego heard his breath catch in his chest like he was trying not to cry.

“Well _someone_ better start talking,” Diego said, definitely panicking now. Agnes sighed again and looked at Klaus sympathetically before continuing. 

“I’m sorry honey, he has to know,” she said, then turned her attention to Diego. “I found him in my room going through my medicine box on my nightstand while he thought I was in the kitchen. Don’t worry, he didn’t find anything. I moved anything that might be abused the first night you guys got here.”

Diego’s eyes closed while she spoke, then he tipped his head back and took a deep breath. He was furious, hurt, gutted, disappointed - but he could not let Klaus know that. It was almost impossible for Diego to keep his temper in check on any day, but this was a different kind of anger. 

He told himself this was _normal_ , slip ups and setbacks were normal, and he had to grant Klaus at least _one_ mistake before he got outwardly upset with him. He really should have seen this coming, and thankfully Agnes had had the foresight that he hadn’t. Diego took another deep breath and walked over to the couch, sitting down next to Klaus. He could hear him sniffling, see his knee bouncing nervously under his elbow as he waited for Diego to yell at him, or at least scold him. Diego was going to try not to do either thing, to the best of his ability.

“Talk to me, Klaus. I’m not mad at you,” he said, as calmly and sincerely as he could manage. Klaus did look up at him then, red-rimmed, sad eyes and a skeptical expression. 

“How are you not mad?” he asked, already shaking his head because he didn’t believe it. 

“Because I know you can’t always help it or stop yourself even if you want to,” Diego said, reaching out and forcing Klaus to let him take his hand. He held it tight and tried to keep his voice soft without any trace of accusation. “Why didn’t you wake me if you needed help, though?”

“Because-” Klaus said, rolling his eyes at the ceiling as more tears started to well up. He took a shaky breath and looked back at Diego. “Because I didn’t _want_ you to wake up, at least not in that moment, in that headspace.”

Diego nodded. “Alright, I understand. Is it harder to fight when you first wake up or something?”

“Yeah, that and also when I’ve had too much time alone to think,” Klaus said. He was visibly more relaxed now that he knew Diego wasn’t going to yell at him, but his body language was still drooped with gloom and guilt. “I woke up like an hour before I got out of bed, and the whole time I just... It was all I could think about, no matter what I tried to think about to distract myself. I tried to think about you, I tried to tell myself it would hurt you, and myself, but I couldn’t make myself care enough at the time. I heard Agnes get up to go make coffee and… I just couldn’t stop myself. I saw her pills in there yesterday morning when we were looking for clothes and I’ve been thinking about it in the back of my mind ever since. I’m so sorry, Diego.”

“Hey, it’s going to be alright,” Diego said, sighing and letting go of Klaus’ hand just long enough to pull him under his arm instead. Klaus fell into him easily, resting the side of his head against Diego’s cheek. “You’re still clean, you’ve still got this, okay?”

“Okay,” Klaus whispered, then reached up to wipe away another tear. 

“Next time you’re struggling please try to wake me up, if you can. I’m not going to be mad at you, I know you’re still recovering. That takes time,” Diego said. He rubbed his hand up and down Klaus’ arm and kissed his hair, and again he wished Agnes wasn’t there to see this moment that he would rather have in private.

“Thank you,” Klaus said softly.

“For what?”

“Just... for being there for me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had that.”

“Any time,” Diego said, giving Klaus’ shoulder a squeeze.

For a few moments it was quiet in the room, until Agnes’ birds decided they’d waited long enough to go outside and one chirped loudly, then another.

“Alright, Tira, I’m coming,” Agnes said, sighing and standing up from her chair. “ _So bossy._ ”

“Okay so, what I actually meant was ‘any time there aren't any birds around.’ I’m gonna use the bathroom while she moves them,” Diego said, patting Klaus’ arm to make him sit up. To his surprise Klaus actually laughed. 

“Okay, you big chicken,” Klaus said, sitting up and looking much better than he did when Diego found him.

“You’re the only person in the world I would let get away with calling me that, you know,” Diego said. Klaus smirked at him and nodded.

By the time Diego sorted out his emotions somewhat in the bathroom and returned, Agnes and Klaus were both in the kitchen. Agnes was mixing something in a big white bowl and Klaus was leaning against the counter eating a handful of fresh raspberries. There were red juice stains on the corners of his mouth and Diego had the weird urge to walk up to him and kiss it away. He brushed off that notion, it was much too early for those kinds of thoughts. It was much too early for anything that had happened so far, but he knew a cup of coffee would cure that. 

Klaus read his mind, which shouldn’t surprise him anymore. As soon as Diego headed for the cupboard for a mug, Klaus reached behind himself on the counter and picked up a cup of coffee he’d already poured, then brought it around in front of himself.

“Oh, thanks,” Diego said, reaching for the cup Klaus was offering, but then Klaus pulled it back.

“Kiss first?” Klaus said, smirking as Diego looked at him confused. 

Diego tried to hold his frown, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling too, because he had an idea. He moved in as close to Klaus as possible without touching him, then leaned in until he could feel Klaus’ breath on his face. As soon as he saw Klaus close his eyes and lean in, Diego stood up on the balls of his feet and kissed Klaus’ forehead, simultaneously wrapping his fingers around the mug in his hand. Klaus let out a little surprised laugh and let Diego take the mug from him as he pulled back. 

“That’s not what I meant, but I’ll take it,” Klaus said, winking at Diego and popping the last of the raspberries from his other hand into his mouth. 

“What are you making, Agnes?” Diego asked, trying to distract himself from the blush on his own cheeks. He thought a forehead kiss would be a silly and tame way to tease Klaus, and it was, but it still gave him butterflies. It was much cuter than he anticipated, and he wondered how ‘ _cute_ ’ became such an active word in his lexicon when he’d basically never used it in his life before he met Klaus.

“Pancakes, if that’s alright,” Agnes said, but she was already pouring batter in little circles on the pan, so it’s not like he was going to say no. “Go sit down boys, I’ll bring out the stack when I’m done.”

Diego glanced at Klaus when Agnes had referred to them as ‘boys’ again, wondering if Klaus was going to correct her this time. It was clear that Klaus had noticed, but when Diego caught his eye he just shook his head slightly as if to say ‘not now.’ He knew it wasn’t his place to correct Agnes on this subject, but he still was invested in Klaus learning to respect himself and demand that other people do, too. 

They’d done as they were told otherwise, only stopping to collect the syrup, butter and silverware so she didn’t have to carry that too. As Diego sipped his coffee he could feel the stress from the start of the day subsiding. Watching Klaus bend to scoop up the fat yellow cat and snuggle him like a stuffed animal was helping, too. 

“I want a cat just like this when I grow up,” Klaus said, leaning back in his chair and forcing Twinkie to lay down against his chest. “Just sit, stop struggling! I just want to love you!”

“When you grow up? You’re about to be 26 in like 3 weeks,” Diego said. 

“As if that means anything. I’m perpetually 14 years old,” Klaus said, kissing Twinkie’s displeased, defeated face. The cat knew he wasn’t going to escape Klaus’ arms. “But it’s really sweet that you remember my birthday.”

“I’ll get you a card that says ‘Happy 14th’ on it,” Diego said. 

“That would be great. Don’t forget the cherry chip cake with cream cheese frosting,” Klaus said, and Diego wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not, but he stored it in the back of his mind, anyway. Klaus sighed and finally let Twinkie go. “Fine, you brat! I’ll find you later, this isn’t over.” 

It was a good time, anyway. Agnes came into the dining room a few moments later carrying two plates, setting one down in front of each of them. As Diego looked down at his plate all the oxygen was sucked out of the room and Diego couldn’t even inhale. Staring up at him were 3 golden pancakes with fruit smiley faces on them, raspberries for eyes and blueberries for a smile. This could not be happening for real. 

How could Agnes just happen to make the _exact_ same fucking pancakes that Grace made for Diego his whole childhood? Did she know his mom did this? Did she know how much Diego missed this, how much he’d thought about all the sweet, loving details that Grace put into things for him every single day? Did she know that she was about to emotionally devastate him with _breakfast food_?

“Oh my gosh, Agnes! These are so cute, thank you,” Klaus said, but it sounded so far away. He looked up at Diego’s face and frowned. “Hey, are you good?”

Diego tried to snap out of it and rearrange his face into something normal. He was not going to let this affect him this way. It was just a coincidence, there was no way she knew. Unless…

“Did Luther tell you to make these this way when he was a kid?” he asked once he forced himself to finally breathe, because he had to know for his own sanity. Agnes looked surprised by that question, but she nodded.

“Y-yes he did, how did you know that?” she asked, and he could see she was nervous about bringing up Luther in front of him. Klaus looked back and forth between them, clearly lost. 

“Because my mom made them this way for us when he came over,” he said, and he felt raw and exposed, like a scab was ripped off an emotional wound. This was about so much more than pancakes now. 

Luther didn’t fucking deserve it; he never deserved anything Grace did for him. And to know he never appreciated it when she made the effort for him, but then he ran home to Agnes and asked her to recreate the things that made his mom special, it made Diego want to hit him more than ever. At this point he wasn't sure he was even going to be able to handle it when it was time to finally get to Luther’s house. He didn’t care about the stupid sob story Agnes told him about why Luther never bonded with Grace, or all the things Luther was doing for him out of a guilty conscience now, Diego was still going to hit him. 

“Oh honey, I didn’t know, I’m sorry-” she started but Diego shook his head before she finished.

“It’s fine.Thank you for breakfast,” he said shortly, then picked up the knife next to his plate and scraped the fruit off the pancakes to the side of the plate. He had to stop staring at it. 

Agnes gave him another annoyingly sympathetic look which he ignored, then headed back to the kitchen for her own plate. He could feel Klaus staring at him and he ignored that too. Knowing he ruined everyone else’s breakfast with his dumb emotions was making him feel worse, he didn’t need to see Klaus’ similar sympathetic look to know he’d put a damper on the mood. 

“Diego…” Klaus started, but Diego shook his head again.

“Don’t, just let it go, please,” he said, resenting himself for the way his voice was shaking. He was _going to_ keep his shit together. He was not going to cry about fucking pancakes, or anything else for that matter, no matter how much it hurt to be slapped in the face with this memory of his mom.

After the breakfast that he’d made awkward finally ended, Diego needed some way to relieve some stress. He knew there was no way he could work out properly, but he had to do _something_. He could still run, he could still do sit ups, he could still do some lunges or something - there were options. He had figured out how to exercise in a tiny cell, he could figure out how to do it with an injured arm, too. It had been way too long and he was feeling more pent up than ever. 

“Can I help?” Klaus asked, flopping down on the bed while Diego dug around in his duffle bag for his last pair of clean socks. He was going to have to do laundry again later, since he only had about 3 outfits and everything was dirty again.

“Uh, I don’t think so,” he said, mostly because he would rather be alone right now. Then he remembered that Klaus had a harder time with his cravings and stuff if he was left to his own devices for too long, so he changed tracks. “Maybe you can sit on my feet when I do sit ups.”

“I can definitely do that,” Klaus said, perking up immediately from the opportunity to be useful. “Maybe you should wear that sling you have, just so you remember not to use that arm and hurt yourself.”

“Trust me, I couldn’t possibly forget,” he said, and it was true. No matter what he was doing, he was always aware of his injury in the back of his mind. It was hard to not notice when the only thing you could feel were painful pins and needles down your arm and then complete numbness in your fingers. 

“Does it still hurt?” Klaus asked, swinging his legs off the bed so he could sit on the edge next to Diego. He interrupted Diego in the middle of putting his sock on to pull his hand in his lap. 

“The shot itself? Not really, it twinges sometimes, but I think it’s healing alright. When I pour alcohol on it, it doesn’t run through anymore so I think it’s all closed in the middle,” Diego said. He stared down as Klaus held his palm from underneath with one hand, and stroked his fingertips over the top of Diego’s hand with the other.

“Can you feel that?” he asked, dragging his nails lightly from Diego’s fingers to his wrist and watching his face. 

“A little, more so by my wrist. The underside is worse than the top, though. The first three fingers are like, pins and needles numb, and the last two fingers are completely dead,” Diego said, but he was not in the mood to have this conversation so soon after the emotional upheaval from earlier. Or ever, really, because he didn’t want to face what this numbness might mean. 

“I’m afraid it might be because we left the tourniquet on too long, because it doesn’t seem to be from the gunshot wound itself,” Klaus said, and Diego could see the guilt in his eyes, like he’s the one that caused this when that was not the case at all. “I’m so sorry, Diego. I should have made you take it off sooner, but we were driving and-”

“It’s _not_ your fault, Klaus,” Diego interrupted. “You were amazing, I couldn’t even imagine what I would have done if you didn’t know the things you know about bullet wounds. It would be a lot worse than it is, I’m sure.”

“I wish you would talk to Luther about seeing a doctor. This might be treatable if you don’t wait forever to get it looked at,” Klaus said, ignoring everything Diego said about it not being his fault. Diego assumed he was going to feel guilty about it no matter what he said.

“I’m not asking Luther for anything else. I would rather cut my whole arm right off,” Diego said, trying not to get snippy. “Plus, look where we are, and what the circumstances are - I can’t go to a doctor as a wanted criminal. They report all gunshot wounds to the police, they have to.”

“Okay, but Luther seems to know a guy for everything. You don’t think he might have some shady off-the-record doctor that could help if he asked?”

“I don’t care! I don’t need any more fucking favors from him! I’ll be fine,” Diego said, snatching his hand away. He jammed his foot in his sock and stood up, then grabbed his new shoes from the floor by the dresser. He was just about to storm out of the room when Klaus spoke again, making him freeze.

“You think you deserve this, don’t you? I can feel it,” he said, but it wasn’t an accusation. His tone was sad, sympathetic, but Diego was getting really tired of being pitied. He stared sightlessly out into the hallway, unable to make himself turn around and see the matching look of pity on his face.

“Deserve what, Klaus?”

“The injury, the pain. This is your penance, the atonement for all the bad you think you’ve done,” Klaus said, his words turning Diego’s blood to ice in his veins. 

He heard Klaus get up from the bed and walk toward him, but there was no way Diego could be kind right now. He needed to be left alone, because that statement felt like Klaus threw a javelin through his chest. He was not ready to unpack that fucked up notion, mostly because he was afraid that Klaus was _right._

“Hey, you can talk to me,” Klaus said softly, resting his hand on Diego’s shoulder. 

“I don’t want to talk, I want to work out,” Diego said tonelessly, shrugging off Klaus’ hand and walking out of the room. 

Thankfully Klaus didn’t follow him, because he just really needed to be alone - a stark contrast to how he felt the morning before, when Klaus was otherwise occupied. Once Diego tied up his shoes he took off out the front door, having nowhere to go in particular, but out here it didn’t matter. Diego could run for miles without seeing a soul in this town, so he did. Running hadn’t been his intention when he walked out of the house, but it seemed like a good way to get the blood flowing. He’d spent most of his prison time doing a lot of strength exercising, so he could use some cardio work, anyway.

The terrain outside of Agnes’ yard was mostly weeds and rocky, uneven dirt so it slowed Diego down some, but didn’t stop him. He ran like he could literally outrun his thoughts, and for a while it worked. He wasn’t thinking about his mom, or the FBI, or ChaCha, or the gang, or god-damn Luther. He was just thinking about the burn in his thighs, the exertion and morning sun both warming his skin, and taking care to not break an ankle tripping over rocks. It felt fucking great, exhilerating even, to just run freely after feeling like he’d been trapped in that pink, flowery prison of a “safehouse.” 

He’d done his best to run in a straight line from Agnes’ backyard, so that even when the house was out of sight he could find his way back. Luckily that mostly worked, because he pretty easily retraced his steps despite everything looking the same once he lost sight of anything recognizable. He was only off by a couple hundred yards, finally breaking through the tall, dead grass at the end of Agnes’ property after he saw the house off to the right in the distance. 

Diego had no idea how long he’d been gone. It had felt like hours, but based on the burn of his muscles and the position of the sun in the sky, it was maybe an hour or a little less. He was panting, sweaty and weirdly a bit giddy when he returned, wondering if this was that ‘runner's high’ he’d heard about, but he’d always figured that was a myth.

As he walked around the house and up to the front door (fuck those birds in the sunroom, okay?) Diego had a terrifying thought. What if Klaus needed him while he was gone? It was only an hour, but what if he’d been hit with another urge to relapse in that time? Diego hoped he was just being paranoid, but he still strode into the house on a direct mission to find him. He didn’t see either Klaus or Agnes in the kitchen or living room, so Diego tried the bedroom next. 

His heart immediately relaxed and softened when he saw Klaus lying on the bed, curled around the cat and dozing peacefully. Agnes had given him a different tank top like the one he’d worn yesterday, this one was just plain white, and Diego decided it was a good color on him. Plus he’d swapped Diego’s sweatpants he’d slept in for his leather pants and Diego forgot how good he looked in those, too. Klaus had apparently started the laundry too, since none of it was on the floor. It made Diego feel like an even bigger dick for being short with him earlier. 

There was a small space behind Klaus on the bed, and just as Diego decided he could totally fit there if he tried, Klaus opened his eyes. He gave Diego a quick once-over, then groaned and shut his eyes again. 

“ _Ugh, God,_ you look so fucking good right now,” he said, taking his hand off Twinkie to cover his already-closed eyes. 

Diego frowned and looked down at himself. All he could see was his black tank top and sweatpants combo he’d already been basically wearing some variation of for days, the white gauze wrapped around his right bicep, and the sweat on his skin that he hadn't wiped off yet. He couldn’t understand for the life of him how he looked good right now, and apparently so good that it was distressing at the same time?

“Uh, why do you say that? If anything I look stinky.”

“You really have no concept of how attractive you are, do you?” Klaus said, sitting up and letting himself stare at Diego again.

“Only when you say so,” Diego said, feeling suddenly self-conscious despite the compliment. He crossed his arms over his chest and looked down at the floor to hide the stupid blush on his cheeks. Klaus chuckled and shook his head. 

“Don’t be embarrassed, babe, it’s a good thing,” he said, then immediately switched tracks even though Diego was stuck on feeling fluttery inside from being called ‘babe’ again. “If you’re going to bathe, do it now because Agnes needs us to do some stuff for her in a little bit. Your clothes will be done drying by the time you get out, probably.”

“What stuff?” Diego asked, ignoring the rest. 

“She wants you to help her make jam, and she needs us to go to the basement and get the boxes of jars. I sat there and helped her sort and pick off stems from that huge haul of raspberries the whole time you were gone, basically.”

“Why do I have to make fucking jam with her? I can get the jars, but I don’t want to _hang out_ with her,” Diego said, frowning and keeping his arms folded. He knew it wasn’t Agnes’ fault, but after the pancake thing this morning, he was in no hurry to be chummy with her again. 

“Why not? She likes you, Diego. She just wants to teach you how to make something because she knows you like to cook,” Klaus said, and Diego wondered if he forgot what had happened earlier. “Don’t be rude to her just because you hate Luther. I get it, but she’s really trying to be your friend, here.” 

“I don’t want to be her _friend_ , Klaus,” Diego said, feeling his moodiness trying to return. He shook his head and sighed. “Fine, I’ll make the fucking jam. I’ll be out in a bit.”

“I’ll get your clothes and leave them on the bed,” Klaus said with a flat tone, moving past Diego and leaving the room.

Diego tried to check himself while he was in the bath. It had been a while since he’d bickered with Klaus like this, and so far it’d happened twice today and he didn’t like it. There was no way he was ever going to be friends with Agnes, there was just too much history attached to her because of Luther, but he would still try for Klaus.

 _This is why you’ve never had any friends_ , he thought to himself as he shaved his face around his goatee.

By the time he’d dressed and wandered out to the kitchen, Agnes already had everything set out on the counter for canning except the jars. Klaus jumped up from one of the kitchen chairs as soon as Diego walked in, smiling cheerfully and apparently already over their little disagreement.

“Took you long enough,” he said, walking right up to Diego and taking his hand. 

He let Klaus drag him through the dining room and into the laundry room where the basement stairs were. He made Diego go down first, which was fine, he’d actually been curious what was down there, anyway. The stairs were steep and the light was dim, but as soon as he reached the bottom he found another light switch and flipped it on. 

The basement illuminated, and Diego was a little surprised by how big it was. There was the main room they had walked down into which was basically one wide concrete hallway, and then there were a couple doorless doorways that lead to other small rooms off to the left. The walls of this room were lined with tall, metal shelves full of boxes, random small kitchen appliances, a couple lamps, and a bunch of other dusty junk he couldn’t immediately identify. It was much colder down there, too, and Diego felt a shiver go down his spine. He never cared for basements. 

“Okay she said they are in the first room,” Klaus said in a hushed voice, walking close to Diego’s heels and holding his hips like they were walking through a haunted house.

“Why are you whispering? Afraid of disturbing the ghosts?” Diego teased, reaching back to take one of Klaus’ hands from his hip and pull him up next to him.

“I mean yeah, kinda,” Klaus admitted, holding Diego’s hand tightly. “This house is like, way over 100 years old, like ‘Gold Rush’ old. I don’t want to wake up the spirit of some cowboy child that got shot by an arrow or something.”

“I’m not afraid of ghosts, I’ll keep you safe,” Diego said, rounding the corner of the first room. 

There was a tiny, grimy window at the very top of the back wall that let in a small amount of light from outside, but he still reached on the wall for a light switch. When he couldn’t find one he started looking for maybe a chain or string to pull hanging from a ceiling light, but there wasn’t one of those either. He was about to ask how they were supposed to find the jars with basically no light, but Klaus had a different agenda. As soon as Diego turned around to speak to him he found Klaus to be very much in his personal space, leaning in for what Diego had to assume was a kiss. 

This was a weird place for it, but he complied, leaning in the last few inches while Klaus wrapped an arm loosely around his shoulders. He would never get over how soft and pleasant Klaus’ lips felt against his, and he let himself fall in headfirst despite being in a weird basement. It was honestly so nice because nobody could see them here, and maybe that was why Klaus decided to kiss him down here in the first place. 

After a few minutes the kiss was getting a little sloppy and Diego could feel his anxiety spiking, especially because Klaus had walked them back a few steps until his back was against the wall where the light switch should have been. Diego could _not_ handle pressing him into a wall even though Klaus was the one holding them both there. It was too much, so he pulled back and kissed Klaus’ jaw, then tried to see his face in the dim light. He was giving Diego a sweet, kiss-drunk smile, but then he saw something skitter out from behind Klaus’ head on the wall out of the corner of his eye. 

“Fuck,” Diego swore, grabbing Klaus by the front of the shirt and stepping backward quickly, dragging him along. 

“What?!” Klaus said, looking behind himself like he expected to see the ghost he was afraid was down there. Instead it was a nickel-sized spider, and Klaus actually laughed out loud. “It’s just a spider!”

“Give me your shoe, I’m going to smash it,” Diego said, holding out his hand for Klaus’ flip flop, which would be much easier to take off than his own tied-up shoe. 

“No! Don’t kill it, it’s not hurting anything,” Klaus said, moving Diego’s hand away. “I’ll take it outside.”

“Oh my God, it’s just a spider. Just let me kill it,” Diego said, picking up his foot to slip off his own shoe since Klaus was being difficult. Klaus swatted Diego’s hand away from his own shoe, too.

“No, Diego! Just find the jars, I’ll be right back,” Klaus said, suddenly 10 times braver than he’d been since they had walked down the stairs. Diego saw Klaus walking toward the wall with his bare fucking hand reaching out to grab the spider and he almost fainted.

“You’re _not_ picking that spider up with your hand are you? Oh my god, you are. I’m gonna barf. I can’t believe you’re that person,” Diego said, then rolled his eyes. “Actually, what am I saying? Of course I can believe that.”

“It’s not going to bite me, calm down. How did you survive _prison_ , but you’re afraid of birds and spiders?” Klaus said, cupping the spider between his palms. Just thinking about it running around frantically inside his hands was making Diego want to tear his own skin off.

“I’m not afraid! I told you, I just don’t like them! Get that shit out of here if you’re going to save it,” Diego said, both too horrified to look but also not being able to turn his back on it, either. “Of all the gross shit I’ve watched you do in the last week and a half, this is by far the worst, by the way.”

“If someone was going to smash you on the wall, you’d be thankful I was around to stop them. He doesn’t deserve to die in this manmade, concrete Hell,” Klaus said, and then opened his hands to peek in at the spider. Diego almost fainted again when he saw two fucking creepy legs start to crawl over the edge of Klaus’ fingers. Even in the dim light, that was enough to give him nightmares for at least a year.

“Just go!” he said, his whole body shuddering as Klaus headed back toward the stairs. “Fucking _ew._ ”

Once Diego had taken a few deep breaths and collected himself, he started searching for the jars. This room had tons of paper boxes with lids, like the kind you’d find in an office, all stacked up waist-high along both side walls. If he could see better, he might get curious and open them up, because he had a hunch they had something to do with Luther's business. He would love to find some dirt about that company, and if Luther or Reginald were storing files in the basement of a house in the middle of nowhere, they had to have something incriminating in them. But that would have to wait. 

The back wall had another metal shelving unit like the ones in the main part, and Diego spotted several boxes that he had to assume were canning jars. He walked over and pulled the flap of one of the boxes back, and he could see well enough to figure out that it was what he was looking for. 

It would have been smart to wait for Klaus to get back before he started lifting heavy things with his wounded arm, but he didn’t bother waiting. He slid the box forward enough for it to tip onto his left forearm for most of the support, and he guided it down the rest of the way and balanced it with his right hand. As soon as the box lifted off the dusty shelf, a folded piece of paper floated down from the shelf onto the floor. He didn’t need it to be any brighter in there for him to be able to read _Grace Calderón_ in big, black cursive font against the off-white paper. He almost dropped the box of jars the second his eyes focused on it, but he managed to slide them back on the shelf before bending to pick up the folded paper. 

The emotional blow he felt when he realized he was staring at his mom’s funeral program was enough to cripple him, his legs buckling under him immediately. He barely registered the pain in his knees as they hit the concrete, too focused on the impossibility of finding _this,_ especially _here._ Was this for _real_? This had to be a nightmare, right? Did Agnes attend her funeral? He had a million questions, but right now they were being stifled by the overwhelming heartache he’d been shoving down, desperately ignoring for the last two years.

The rest of the font outside of her name was just barely too small to make out in the dim lighting, so he jammed a shaking hand into his pocket to pull out a lighter. He’d found one in the couch this morning and shoved it in his sweatpants in case Klaus needed it later, but now he needed it more than ever. It took him a few tries but he managed to get it lit, holding it as close to the paper as he could without igniting it. 

The image on the front was of praying hands in the center, ‘In Loving Memory’ above it, her name underneath. When he found the strength to turn the page his heart ached even more, seeing her black and white portrait on the left side. It was a very old picture, she couldn’t have been older than 20. It was Grace before her life fell apart; it was Grace before Luther, possibly before Reginald, when she was young, happy and carefree. Diego couldn’t remember ever seeing her look so genuinely full of light. 

**_Grace Calderón ne Carter_ **

****

**_July 21st, 1965 - February 5th 2013_**

****

_**Grace is survived by her two sons: Luther Hargreeves (25) and Diego Calderón (23) and sister: Laura Carter. ****Grace was born in Naples, Florida to George and Alice Carter in the summer of 1965.** **The family would like to thank you for your support, flowers and cards, they have been greatly appreciated following Grace’s passing.** ****_

****

********

_**You left me beautiful memories, your love is still my guide**_

********

****

********

_**And though we cannot see you**_

********

****

********

**_You’re always at my side._**

********

As he read the last lines of the poem he let the lighter die and the program drop from his fingers. It was too fucking much, how was he supposed to handle this? He never got to attend his mother's funeral. He never got to tell her it was going to be okay, or hold her hand in her last moments. He never got to say goodbye… He never got to do anything to help her, because he was stuck in a fucking cage.

********

He wanted to rage, to hurt people, to smash this wretched house to smithereens, to set the entire world on fire, because violence was the only way he’d ever been able to manage this feeling. It felt like he took a battering ram right in the chest, cracking his ribs, collapsing his lungs, shattering his heart. He couldn’t even draw a breath to let out a sob. Instead he hit the closest thing in front of him, one of the towers of office boxes. His fist struck the middle one right out of the tower like a Jenga block, causing them all to fall, papers and pictures and newspaper clippings flying everywhere across the cement floor. It made him unsteady on sore knees and he fell forward on his hands, finally able to draw in a jagged, unsatisfying breath. 

********

He couldn’t hold it in anymore. It had been two whole fucking years and he’d never been able to mourn or let himself process her death. He choked out a sob, still trying to force it down even though nobody was around to judge him or hurt him for being weak. It was such a reflex at this point, he didn’t know how to just let himself grieve freely. His injured arm was going to give out on him though, so he sat back on his ass and hugged his knees to his chest. He felt hot tears falling down his face and he instinctually wiped them away with angry knuckles that hurt his eyes.

********

“Diego? Are you oka-” Klaus’ voice died in his throat as he rounded the corner of the doorway and saw Diego hugging his knees and heard his strangled sob. He had found a flashlight upstairs and was shining it at Diego like a spotlight that highlighted his miserable form on the floor. 

********

“ _God,_ please go away,” Diego whined, even more disgusted with how pathetic he sounded when he spoke. He wiped furiously at his eyes again, then covered his face with his hands, both to hide his emotions and also block the bright light from his eyes. He couldn’t let _anyone_ see him this way, even Klaus. “Just go away.”

********

“Oh my God, Diego, what happened?!” Klaus asked, ignoring him and jogging across all the paper clutter from the boxes so he could kneel in front of Diego’s feet. For the first time the presence of someone else didn’t immediately dry up Diego’s tears, instead it made another sob rack his body and he couldn’t stop it. 

********

“I miss my m-mom,” he cried, his voice breaking behind his hands. He just couldn’t be embarrassed anymore, he couldn’t stop crying his heart out. This pain surpassed anything else he’d ever felt in his life and he’d been carrying it for _so_ long. He also couldn’t make himself look at Klaus’ face; he already knew the look of distress and bewilderment that would be there.

********

“Oh, honey,” Klaus said softly, leaning across Diego’s knees to hug his head to his shoulder. 

********

Diego tried to push him away but he didn’t have the strength, he couldn’t fight the comfort Klaus was trying to offer even if it wasn’t going to help. He let his eyes and nose press against Klaus’ shoulder, his hands gripping Klaus’ arms that were wrapped around his head as more sobs ripped through him.

********

“It’s okay, it’s okay, just let it out,” Klaus whispered over and over, petting the back of Diego’s head and shaking shoulders soothingly for what seemed like eons. 

********

“I’m sorry, I’m- it’s just, b-be-being here in this h-house is so hard. S-somehow everything reminds m-me of her,” he stammered into Klaus’ shoulder between choked sobs and sharp, shallow breaths. “I’m s-sorry.”

********

He was fucking falling apart. It was like every single day that Diego had refused to let himself deal with this pain, every tear he’d repressed had snuck up on him and ambushed him out of nowhere, all at once. The funeral program was just the final straw that broke him after years of compartmentalizing this loss.

********

“You’re okay, don’t be sorry at all. This is a good thing even if it doesn’t feel like it right now, just breathe,” Klaus said. 

********

Diego hated it all so much; hated Klaus seeing him such a wreck, hated that he couldn’t control it anymore, and hated that Klaus was right - he _needed_ this, but it wasn’t necessarily making him feel _better._ It was impossible for him to ever feel better about this, no matter how many tears he cried. His mom died without him by her side, and she left him completely alone in the world - but he’d done the same thing to her. When he went to prison Grace had no one, except Luther who wanted nothing to do with her, and her sister who lived a million miles away in Florida. She hadn’t even been able to afford to keep their house without his dad’s income. She had nothing, everything taken from her in an instant, _again_ , because Diego destroyed their family with his rash decision.

********

_No! Dad destroyed us first,_ he thought bitterly, and it was enough to slow his tears somewhat.

********

“I sh-should’ve b-been there,” he whispered, pulling his face back from Klaus’ shoulder and wiping tears and snot off his face on the back of his right hand. Yuck, another horrible aspect of crying.

********

“I’m sure she understood why you couldn’t be,” Klaus said, taking Diego’s not-snotty hand and squeezing it. Diego was starting to regret letting it all hang out like that now that he was just sniffling instead of sobbing. “Did something trigger this? Was it the pancake thing this morning, and it just finally got to you?”

********

“That was p-part of it, but then, this, too,” Diego said, pulling himself together enough to reach over and grab the program. He handed it over to Klaus and then pressed the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to stop more tears that welled up just from seeing her name on the cover again. Klaus picked up the abandoned flashlight and stared at the paper Diego handed him, his jaw dropping as he read the words. 

********

“Oh, Jesus, _I’m so sorry._ Why is this even here?” Klaus asked, and then he gasped when he turned the page to see the picture inside. “Awww, she was so beautiful, though!”

********

“Being beautiful didn’t stop her life from being a nightmare,” Diego said miserably, refusing to look at Klaus’ face as a few fresh tears spilled down his cheeks. Klaus moved the flashlight from shining on the program up to Diego’s face, which he did not appreciate.

********

“Let’s get out of here for now,” Klaus said suddenly, standing up and holding out his hand. “We can come get the jars later, but you need to get out of this depressing-ass basement. Right now.”

********

“I’m fine,” Diego said weakly, but he really couldn’t argue with Klaus’ logic. Being in this already-unsettling basement felt like being back in solitary - the total darkness besides a tiny window inside a cold concrete room, the dark crushing in on him from all sides, compounded by the weight of his trauma crushing him, too. It was not helping him from spiraling further into this nervous breakdown. 

********

“C’mon, get up,” Klaus insisted, snapping his fingers and then keeping his hand outstretched in front of Diego’s face. “I promise you’ll feel better in the sunshine.”

********

“Okay,” Diego finally said, wiping away the last of his tears before taking Klaus’ hand and standing up. “I want to keep that, though. I don’t care if Agnes wants it. It's mine now."

********

“I’m sure she won’t argue that one bit, Diego,” Klaus said, handing him the program and then taking Diego’s other hand. 

********

Klaus led Diego out of the basement, through the house and out of the front door. Thankfully Agnes was busy doing something in her bedroom and wasn’t around to ask what happened and why they hadn’t done the simple task she’d asked them to do. She was just going to have to wait, or get them herself. 

********

As soon as they walked into the warm, sunny outdoors Diego did feel a little bit better. His heart still ached, his guts were still in knots, he knew his eyes were still red and puffy from crying his face off, but he didn’t feel quite so _hopeless_ , especially with Klaus holding his hand and smiling at him. Klaus always did look prettiest with the sun lighting up his eyes. 

********

“Please don’t tell Agnes what happened down there,” Diego said, walking with Klaus through the garden in the backyard.

********

“No, of course not,” Klaus said, giving Diego’s hand another reassuring squeeze. They sat on the stone bench where Diego had been reading the day Klaus brought him flowers. It was such a sweet memory that it was able to pierce through all the pain and make Diego smile, even if it was just briefly. “I definitely understand that Agnes complicates things for you emotionally. I didn’t at first, but I get it now.”

********

“I don’t _want_ to hate her, Klaus, I know it’s irrational. I know none of this is directly her fault, but… I hate that she got to be there and I didn’t,” Diego said, swallowing hard. “I just wish I could have been there for my mom.”

********

His heart clenched again as he thought of Agnes and Luther being at his mother’s funeral when they didn’t give a damn about her before she died, when Luther was the _reason_ that Diego couldn’t be there to begin with. His initial breakdown had passed but he could feel his eyes welling up again. He didn’t try to stop the tears this time, even though he wished they would just go away. 

********

“I’m so sorry you couldn’t be with her, Diego. I can’t imagine how much that hurts,” Klaus said, picking up Diego’s hand in his and kissing the back of it. “But listen, I promise she didn’t hold it against you, okay? The only reason you weren’t there is because you were wrongly punished for defending her in the first place. She knows you loved her and would do anything for her, because you _did._ ”

********

“I guess, but I don’t really know what she thought about anything. When she would come to see me she wouldn’t talk about what happened,” Diego said, staring blankly at a weed pushing up between the stones on the garden path, because it was easier than looking at Klaus’ face. “She just told me everything was going to be okay, and she would only talk about what we were going to do once I got out, just the positive stuff. When I tried to talk to her about… about what I did, she didn’t want to hear it. I don’t think she wanted to accept that her little boy was a murderer, despite the fact that she had to visit me in prison.”

********

“Maybe she was just determined to not let you feel guilty about it? You were already paying for what you did, so maybe it was less about denial and more about just trying to stay positive for your sake,” Klaus said hopefully, and Diego appreciated the blind optimism, but he knew Klaus was wrong in this case. He shook his head.

********

“You weren’t there. You didn’t see the way she would pretend like nothing was wrong to the point of being delusional, almost,” Diego said, thinking back to all the times his mother visited, and how heartbreaking they were. His breath hitched and he bit his lip for a few moments before continuing. ”Sh-she would only talk about the future, never the present or the past, like the next eight years of our lives didn’t really exist. Like we were just going to pick up once I got out like nothing happened. She pretended like she couldn’t see how prison was breaking me, like I wasn’t being sucked into a dark lifestyle that was changing me permanently. She ignored the brand on my arm and the tattoo on my forehead, even though I know she knew what they meant. I just... I think her heart had been broken so many times, I don’t think she could process the pain anymore. The optimism wasn’t for me, it was for herself, because she couldn’t cope with the truth.”

********

“That’s so sad, Diego. I’m sorry,” Klaus said, and Diego could tell he was feeling awkward about not knowing how to make Diego feel better. But it was fine, just having Klaus listen was helping in its own way, even if he didn’t have any new answers to Diego’s old problems.

********

********

“She stopped coming to see me after the 3rd year I was in there,” Diego said, his voice starting to quiver slightly again. “She had to move to Florida with her sister because she couldn’t afford to live by herself anymore. She came to see me once after she moved, but then she got sick. I just had to sit there and… and wait for the news that she was gone.”

********

“I’m so sorry,” Klaus said again, then wiped a single tear from the corner of his eye. Diego could hear the sincerity and he appreciated it, but even from Klaus the words felt hollow. No expressions of sympathy could fill the hole his mother left in his heart when she died, no matter who they came from.

********

“I just wanted to help her, but I made everything just as shitty for her, just in a different way. I don’t… I don’t know how to recover from that,” Diego admitted, shaking his head. Maybe Klaus couldn’t take this particular hurt away, but just having a non-judgemental ear to listen was lifting some of the weight off his chest.

********

“Well, letting yourself start the grieving process is a good start. I assume you couldn’t wear your emotions on your sleeve around the gang and everything,” Klaus said. Diego nodded. 

********

“When my counselor called me in her office that day, I already knew what she was going to tell me. I tried to steel myself to it but… it’s so hard to prepare yourself for that kind of news. Being locked up, not watching her health decline myself, I still had this naive hope in the back of my mind that maybe she would pull through, you know?” Diego explained. He felt like he was rambling but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d already started this, he needed to get it all out before he shoved it all back down again. “But my counselor, Patch, she was nothing like the other employees in that place. She knew I was going to take it hard. She broke it to me as gently as she could, and she said she knew I wasn’t going to be able to… to be affected, in front of the other guys. So she said she was just going to step outside for a few minutes, lock me in her office and let me have a moment to myself. She wasn’t supposed to do that, but she was so kind. Always tried to see the good in people, even shitty criminals. I’ll never forget it.”

********

“She sounds really great,” Klaus said when Diego paused for a moment. “It’s good to know not everyone in the prison system is a corrupt asshole.”

********

“More like she was the one exception out of thousands. Well, she ended up leaving me alone more like 15 minutes than just a few, but I couldn’t grieve then either. I couldn’t feel anything at all, except… this dark, angry pit in my stomach. And it just grew and grew as time went on. Any amount of light left in me burned out, and I lost myself,” Diego said, and he wasn’t even sure he was talking to Klaus anymore. He was just talking because he couldn’t stop, even if what he was saying might scare Klaus away. “Before she died I was just an attack dog for the gang, only going after the people the boss told me to. But after... it’s like a switch flipped inside me. I started hurting people just because I could, whether it was gang-related or not. I was so heartless and brutal that even other guys in the gang were afraid of me. I became the angry, sadistic monster they made me out to be in court, and I _hate_ myself for it.”

********

“Diego, you are _not_ a monster,” Klaus said forcefully, but Diego couldn’t help but think he was just biased because he didn’t know him in prison. 

********

“Maybe not to you,” Diego said, looking at Klaus’ face for the first time since they sat down. Diego could see sympathy, sincerity, but not a drop of fear. Even after everything Diego had told him, everything that Klaus had witnessed himself, he was still not afraid.

********

“Well I don’t care what anyone else thinks! I think you were just a scared, traumatized kid that got dropped in a pen full of rabid dogs, and you did what you had to do to protect yourself. What else did people expect to happen to a teenager around hardened criminals?” Klaus said passionately.

********

It made Diego’s heart ache, but appreciate Klaus more. He was refusing to hear the part where Diego wasn’t just using violence to protect himself toward the end, he’d started to _enjoy_ it. But just like Patch, Klaus was choosing to only see the good in him, and it was so sweet Diego didn’t know how to handle it. He really didn’t deserve someone with such a good heart to care about him this way.

********

“It’s not that simple. I made my own bad choices plenty of times, the gang didn’t influence them all,” Diego said.

********

“I _get_ that, really, I do, but you don’t think I have, too? I rarely got in like, physical fights, but I still did plenty of other damage. I destroyed people in different ways - lying, cheating, stealing, sabotaging - I’ve been vile and heartless, too. I can blame the drugs, I can blame my upbringing, but the truth is that I was just a fucking selfish asshole most of the time,” Klaus said, just as passionately, keeping a tight grip on Diego’s hand. “But like I’ve said before, people _can_ change if they want to. You’ve been trying to convince me that you’re this bad person this whole time, but I just don’t see it. What happened to you telling me that you were still trying to learn who you are? You even just said you ‘lost yourself’ after your mom passed, your own words - meaning you know it was out of character for you to hurt people the way you did. But... we can both be better now, right? I think we can.”

********

“I hope so,” Diego said with a solemn nod, even though he was still not convinced that he could escape his past so easily as ‘just don’t be that way anymore.’ 

********

They were both quiet for a while, soaking in the sunshine and lost in their own thoughts. Diego took a moment to acknowledge that he felt like shit all around, the longer he thought about it the more worn out he felt from bawling his stupid eyes out. He wasn’t used to his chest, shoulders and back aching from sobs racking his body, or the way his throat got sore afterward. He hadn’t had a breakdown that hard since the day he got his sentence from the judge, he forgot what it was like to feel strung out afterward. Not to mention his legs were also still burning from his run earlier, so all he really wanted to do was go back to bed and stop thinking for a while. Maybe when he woke up later he would be able to face Agnes and all her infuriating sweetness.

********

“I feel like all we’ve done is take naps since we’ve been here but… I think I’m going to go lay down for a while,” Diego said, tucking the funeral program between his knees so he could rub his tired eyes with the hand that Klaus wasn’t holding.

********

“Okay, I’ll come with you,” Klaus said immediately, like he was anticipating that already. 

********

“You don’t have to. I probably won’t even sleep, I just need to let my mind go blank for a bit,” Diego said. He squinted up at the sun and decided it was probably just after noon, so it was plenty early enough for a cat nap.

********

“I’m always up for letting my mind go blank, let’s go. I can even teach you some meditation exercises if you really want to get into clearing your mind,” Klaus said, standing up and already dragging Diego along with him while he talked. “It’s not as effective as a pint of Popov, but it still works.”

********

As they made their way to the bedroom they had to walk by Agnes. She seemed to know something bigger than her canning plans was going on, so she didn’t say anything as Diego followed Klaus into the bedroom. Diego couldn’t even bring himself to look at her, because all he wanted to do was drill her about questions he didn’t feel like hearing the answers to at the moment. It was better that he didn’t know right now. 

********

Diego watched Klaus kick his shoes off next to the dresser and throw himself at the bed. As he crawled over to the right side that he always slept on, Diego wondered when they started having ‘their’ side of the bed. He figured it had something to do with his injury, because he could only curl up behind Klaus and hold him if he was lying on his left side. It was fast becoming one of Diego’s most favorite things to do too, so he crawled on ‘his side’ of the bed, ready to do exactly that.

********

“Maybe I should have changed my pants first,” Klaus said, staring down at them as he fluffed the blankets up over their legs.

********

Diego was busy lying on his side, propped up on his left elbow and fondly watching Klaus start to settle back on his pillow. Then he noticed the gross yellow stain on Klaus’ white shoulder strap, from where Diego cried all over him. Jesus Christ. _Embarrassing._

********

“Ew, fuck. I’m so sorry, but I think I got snot on your shirt earlier,” he said, then covered his eyes and blushing cheeks with his right hand. Klaus giggled.

********

“So you did,” he said with an unbothered smirk, sitting up again to shuck the shirt and fling it off into the room. “Guess I might as well change my pants while I find something else.”

********

“No, wait,” Diego said, reaching up to touch Klaus’ elbow. He surprised himself for blurting it out loud, but he didn’t want Klaus to get up just yet. 

********

He had seen Klaus shirtless, but not this close up, and he couldn’t stop himself from staring blatantly. His eyes traveled over his long, pale back from shoulder to hip, taking in every freckle and scar. There were a few light, white lash-scars across his shoulders, which Diego assumed might be sex-related and he didn’t want an explanation. But then he frowned when he noticed a smattering of faint, light brown, circular scars on Klaus’ right side over where his kidney would be. There was no way those weren’t….

********

“Cigarette burns,” Klaus said, startling Diego out of his concerned trance. He glanced up and Klaus was looking down at him over his shoulder, watching where Diego’s eyes had landed. “And no, I don’t remember getting them. They’ve been there as long as I can remember.”

********

“Jesus, does that mean someone gave those to you as a... as a _toddler_?” Diego said, the last word coming out in a breath because he could hardly say it, and he definitely couldn’t believe it.

********

“Yeah, I guess,” Klaus said with a shrug that conveyed both apathy and self-consciousness at the same time. “It’s whatever, I don’t remember it so it doesn’t really bother me.”

********

Well it bothered Diego. An uncomfortable mix of anger, disgust and sorrow on Klaus’ behalf flared up in him. He knew what it was like to be a victim of child abuse, but even his dad hadn’t hurt him when he was that young. Diego didn’t start getting beat until he started getting brave enough to talk back. Klaus would have been just a little baby if he couldn’t even remember it. There wasn’t just one mark so it could possibly be brushed off as an accident, there were like eight of them, in one spot, so there was no way it wasn’t _deliberate_. Diego wanted to find whoever could do that to a child and send them straight to Hell, with his fists.

********

“I hate people so fucking much,” Diego hissed with a head shake. The whole thing made him feel even more misanthropic than he normally did.

********

“I said it’s fine, Diego. Let me go get a shirt and you don’t have to look at it anymore,” Klaus said, and that was _not_ what Diego meant at _all_.

********

“No, don’t,” he said in a rush, then leaned forward to wrap his arm around Klaus’ waist. 

********

It hurt his arm a bit, but he muscled Klaus down on the bed and dragged his back up as close to his own chest as he could. Klaus giggled again as he let himself be scooped up and hugged protectively from behind, but Diego wasn’t laughing. Normally he wasn’t sure he could handle hugging shirtless Klaus like this just yet, but apparently his protective instinct that kicked in was _way_ stronger than any of his fear or trauma surrounding intimate physical contact. This particular snuggle was less about intimacy or comfort and much more about Diego wanting to shield Klaus from the world, from any harm whatsoever. He’d already murdered for Klaus once, he would do it again. He would even do it right now if he knew who had been the one to hurt Klaus that way.

********

“It’s okay, Diego. I’m _okay,_ ” Klaus whispered. He wedged his fingers between Diego’s that were making a fist against his chest, forcing Diego’s hand to relax. “Take a deep breath, you’re supposed to be clearing your mind.”

********

He did as he was told, inhaling deeply and then releasing the puff of air over Klaus’ shoulders. He had to let this go, the last thing Diego needed was another thing to be upset about. Plus, this was something he couldn’t do anything about, so it was pointless to let someone else’s history affect him this way. He took another deep breath, and then another, until he calmed himself enough to drift off, and he started naturally breathing that way. He let his mind focus on how nice and warm Klaus felt in his arms instead of thinking about his mom, or the pieces of shit that hurt Klaus as a baby. 

********

Despite falling asleep quickly, he didn’t rest very easily. He’d been wrong to think maybe sleeping next to Klaus had been easing his nightmares. They just took a brief vacation until now, because the nap ended up being one nightmare after another. In one he dreamed about Klaus betraying him again, turning him in to the police and letting them believe that Diego had really kidnapped him. One was about being held at gunpoint by someone in a mask that was demanding information he didn’t have. And the one that finally woke him was his old faithful - the memory of cutting his dad’s throat. Except the reality was warped by dream logic, so he was an adult in the dream this time.

********

“Fuck,” he hissed, then squinted into the ceiling light they forgot to turn off before they went to sleep. He was immediately distracted by the fact that he was lying on his back now, Klaus tucked under his arm and snuggled up on his chest. He had no memory of rolling over in his sleep, so he must have been passed out harder than he thought.

********

“Your heart is beating really fast,” Klaus whispered, his ear pressed to Diego’s chest. 

********

“Yeah, it was just a fucked up dream, it’s fine,” he said, giving Klaus’ shoulder a squeeze. “Did you sleep?”

********

“No, you were kind of squirming around a lot. But I wasn’t tired, anyway, so it’s okay,” Klaus said. Diego felt him shift around until he was propped up on his own elbow, staring down into Diego’s face. “What did you dream about? You said my name.”

********

“Uhh- I did?” Diego asked, staring at Klaus with wide eyes from being put on the spot. He had no idea he ever spoke in his sleep, and that was extremely disturbing to find out. “I don’t really remember, sorry.”

********

“You’re lying, but it’s fine, you don’t have to tell me,” Klaus said, resting his hand on Diego’s chest.

********

“Why do you think I’m lying?” 

********

“I can hear it in your voice,” Klaus said, but he genuinely didn’t sound upset about it. Diego didn’t know how to refute that, but thankfully Klaus had mercy on him and changed the subject. “Agnes came to check on us. She wanted to know if we were okay with eating leftovers for dinner. I told her yes, I hope that’s okay.”

********

“Yeah, I don’t care,” he said, and then he remembered he was still supposed to make jam with her and he groaned. “Did you tell her I found my mom’s funeral thing in the basement?”

********

“No, I didn’t know if you wanted to or not. But she may have noticed it on the dresser,” Klaus said, then yawned like a lion.

********

“You lied to me, too,” Diego said, and when Klaus looked at him confused he elaborated. “You told me you weren’t tired.”

********

“Oh, jeez,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and smiling. “I’m still plenty awake enough for the rest of the day. What about you, ready to make jam? I know you’re excited!”

********

“I fucking guess,” Diego said with a sigh. “When in Rome, right?”

********

“What?” Klaus said, looking at Diego like he just spoke in tongues. 

********

“What?” Diego returned. Klaus shook his head and smirked. 

********

“Nothing, I just… didn’t expect you to use that phrase,” Klaus said, an amused smirk on his face. 

********

Diego couldn’t figure out why that was such a weird thing to say, but he didn’t get to contemplate it for very long because Klaus leaned down close to him for a kiss. He wasn’t super confident that his breath wasn’t bad at the moment, but he tilted his face up for it anyway. Klaus brushed his lips against Diego’s softly, but if they were gonna do this Diego was going to commit. He reached up and cupped Klaus’ jaw and kissed him for real. Klaus made a small, satisfied noise that rumbled through his chest that was pressed against Diego’s.

********

“M’kay, you’ve got shit to do,” Klaus said, pulling back and taking a breath. He patted Diego’s chest and pushed himself to a sitting position. “Do you need me for a few minutes? I’m gonna go smoke.”

********

“Nope, knock yourself out,” Diego said, sighing heavily as he resigned himself to being helpful.

********

By the time he had dragged himself to the kitchen, Diego realized Klaus had lied again. Instead of going out to smoke he had gone downstairs and brought up the abandoned jars first, so Diego didn’t have to go down there again. Definitely a blessing, Klaus didn’t even know how much. Somehow that little bit of consideration pushed Diego into a better mood, and doing something with Agnes didn’t seem quite as bad. Plus, he was about to learn how to make something he would have never thought to tackle in the kitchen before, so he was going to genuinely apply himself. It was unclear whether or not Klaus had said anything to Agnes about the basement, but she seemed to be her usual cheerful self, and Diego certainly wasn’t going to bring it up. 

********

It was _way_ easier to make jam than he originally thought, as it turned out. All they had to do was add a shitload of mashed raspberries, sugar and a splash of lemon juice to an enormous pot on the stove and boil them together for like, maybe 10 minutes total? The hardest part was pouring the jam into the jars without spilling it everywhere. Thankfully Diego was left-handed because he didn’t think he could hold the heavy pot steady over the jars with his right one at the moment. He had a sneaking suspicion Agnes couldn’t do that part herself either, which was part of the reason she’d asked for his help. He vaguely remembered her mentioning she had broken her arm not that long ago, and it was probably still hard to lift heavy things. He enjoyed himself nonetheless, especially the way the entire house was filled with the sharp, tart smell of fresh cooked raspberries when they were done. 

********

“Klaus, do you want to put the lids on these for me?” Agnes asked, handing him a stack of gold metal lids that she’d written the date on in Sharpie marker. Klaus perked up from the spot he’d been leaning on the counter in front of the 36 steaming hot half-pint jars, happy to finally be useful.

********

“I kind of want this on toast like right now. Oh, or an English muffin, even better,” Klaus said as he dropped the metal lids on and screwed each one shut. 

********

“I’m actually going to make doughnuts filled with the jam some time next week when Hazel stops by again,” Agnes said as she rolled up the bag of sugar and clamped it shut with a chip clip. There was a blush on her cheeks and Diego tried extremely hard, but failed, to not roll his eyes as he washed the jam dishes. She couldn’t see him anyway. “They’re his favorite.”

********

“Aww, I’m sure he will love that,” Klaus said, smiling at Agnes like she was his own adorable grandma. “And I could totally eat the shit out of some raspberry doughnuts, too, if you’re sharing.”

********

“Of course! This is also delicious on french toast, if you want me to make some in the morning,” Agnes said, and Diego hoped she forgot that by the next day. He kind of wanted to make breakfast himself to avoid being thrown into emotional crisis again, just in case Agnes had any other traumatic ideas up her sleeve.

********

“I would love that,” Klaus said somewhat distractedly, then finished screwing on the last lid with a flourish. “Done! Now what?”

********

“Now we warm up dinner, if you’re hungry. Leftovers still okay?” Agnes asked. Diego just nodded as he wiped his wet hands on a dish towel. 

********

“Sure, I’ll eat anything, I don’t care. You could dunk packing peanuts in hot sauce and tell me they’re boneless wings and I’d eat it,” Klaus said.

********

“Won’t drink a glass of water unless I harass him into it, though,” Diego said, hoping Klaus was in the mood for some sarcasm and light teasing. “Might have dust in it.”

********

“Okay first of all, I’ve drank water basically every day I’ve been with you except for when I was puking my guts out,” Klaus started, holding up his finger with some sass, but Diego saw that he was struggling to keep a smirk off his face. “And dust in water is a real thing.”

********

“I’m not saying it’s not real, I’m saying it’s just a weird aversion to have in addition to being willing to eat styrofoam dipped in hot sauce,” Diego said, and it occurred to him that Klaus actually hadn’t had any water today that he knew about. He decided to keep his mouth shut about it at the moment though, lest this turn into an actual argument.

********

“Well, trying to apply logic to me was your first mistake. I’m well aware I don’t make any sense,” Klaus said, shrugging like that was the end of the discussion. 

********

“Okay so there’s pot pie, bean soup that I made out of the rest of that bone broth, and spaghetti, but it’s a little old at this point,” Agnes said from behind the fridge door. 

********

None of that sounded particularly exciting, but Diego was _not_ about to eat bean soup while he was sharing a bed with someone. Thankfully Klaus must have had the same consideration and decided to eat the old spaghetti. Diego decided he was determined to make dinner again the next night, or every night if Agnes would let him. He wasn’t sure where that kitchen-controlling urge was coming from, it wasn’t even his kitchen, but he wasn’t going to analyze it. He just wanted to make the food, okay?

********

Something about it being leftover night made all dinner formality go out the window, and they decided to eat in the living room instead of at the table. Normally Diego would be annoyed about that because his mother raised him to not eat in places that weren’t meant for dining, but not having to sit at the table with Agnes like a _family_ dinner was honestly prefered, especially after the day that Diego had. 

********

It was all fine, but he had to suppress a cringe when Klaus picked out pieces of hamburger from his spaghetti and fed them to Twinkie right off the end of his fork. Diego never had pets growing up, other than a fish, so watching someone feed an animal with their fork was… just so upsetting. That cat was always within a three hour window of licking its own ass, there was no way he would ever eat off the same utensil. Klaus gave no shits, though, and Diego was just going to have to accept him the way he was.

********

The rest of their evening was pretty lowkey and uneventful. They ended up getting sucked into watching Agnes’ nighttime television with her, and Klaus discovered that Diego was a Jeopardy wizard. He was just chock full of useless information from reading a billion books in his life, it wasn’t even on purpose. The only questions that really tripped him up were pop culture ones, which Klaus was much better at, but Diego still would have wiped the floor with him if they’d been competing for real. That is, until they got to Wheel of Fortune and Klaus was freaky good at figuring out the word puzzle long before it was even close to complete. Diego thought he had to be cheating, but there was literally no way for that to be possible. 

********

“There are only 2 consonants guessed so far! How the fuck did you figure out ‘Horse of a different color’ with nothing but ‘R’ and ‘S’ on the board?” Diego said, staring down at the top of Klaus’ head in disbelief. “No vowels or anything!”

********

Throughout the evening Klaus had managed to wedge himself between Diego’s legs on the couch, until his back was against Diego’s torso, his head leaned back on his chest, lounging across Diego like he was a human recliner. He couldn’t even be annoyed, he actually really liked Klaus leaning against him so comfortably. It was just really nice, even if his leg was going to sleep from hanging off the edge of the couch. He wouldn’t dream of making Klaus move.

********

“I don’t know! Because it says ‘phrase’ and it just makes sense for it to be ‘horse.’ Everyone knows that phrase,” Klaus said, shrugging. “It was just a good guess.”

********

“Remind me not to play Scrabble with you,” Diego said, and he meant it. He got ridiculously competitive and petty about board games, he would definitely get butthurt about losing any board game ever, even to Klaus. He may or may not have even punched a guy in prison just for beating him at dominoes, but that was also because that guy was an asshole otherwise, too. 

********

“You’re safe, I don’t have the concentration for that shit, anyway,” Klaus said, then yawned so animatedly that it made Diego yawn, too. He wasn’t even tired, but Klaus didn’t get the same nap he’d had earlier. 

********

Less than an hour later, only a few minutes into a Halloween-themed Hallmark movie, Klaus was fast asleep. Diego reached up and pet his hair back, making a little noise in his throat to see if Klaus would respond. He didn’t, and Diego wondered how he was going to get him to bed now. Klaus was skinny but still kind of a big person, and Diego for sure couldn’t lift him with his arm in bad shape. He would just have to wake him up and make him walk to bed.

********

“Awww, he’s sound asleep,” Agnes said, smiling fondly at Klaus from her chair. She picked up the remote and clicked off the power on the TV, then collected her dishes on the little table next to her chair. “I think he has the right idea. I think I’ll turn in, too.”

********

“Klaus, wake up. Hey. Hey, b-” Diego started whispering, but stopped himself when he realized he was about to say ‘baby.’ The word caught in his throat and gave him a small spike of anxiety. Was he really comfortable enough with everything for _pet names_? Did it matter? It’s what was in his heart at the moment, he should have just said it. 

********

Maybe next time he would. 

********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- OKAY SO. Idk how many of you read the notes at the beginning about the writing progression of this story, but listen again anyway lol. If you remember, this story is going to be in 3 books. Currently, I have the first 2 completed, but I'm still writing Book 3. Unfortunately personal life, the global pandemic, and civil rights movements in my country have set me back a bit on my writing schedule (it's so hard to engage in your hobby writing when everyone is dying around you, ya know?). So that means the break between Books 2 and 3 is going to be a bit longer than anticipated. There are 4 more chapters of The Heirophant left to post, so you have 4 weeks to prepare yourself for the little break. I didn't want to surprise y'all with a hiatus on the last chapter, so this is the heads up! DON'T WORRY, I am definitely finishing this fic (even if season 2 sucks lol) so please keep it bookmarked or subscribed so you know when I do start posting book 3.
> 
> \- Next chapter will still be on schedule, July 17th! Thank you so much for continuing to stick with me, you guys are the best ♥


	15. The Hierophant: Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** this chapter has sexual content but like. not that much lol  
> ** also note the time stamp! a week has passed since last time!

_** September 14th, 2015, 8:45am ** _

The next week went by painfully slow and mundane, with few exceptions. Agnes was wonderful, Klaus couldn’t ask for a better or more attentive host, but her house was the most boring place on Earth. Everyone had fallen into a sort of routine, though. They all ate their meals together, sometimes with Diego cooking, other times Agnes. Between meals Diego and Klaus would talk, cuddle, sometimes they would play cards, sometimes Diego would read to Klaus, sometimes they made out for as long as Diego could handle. They went for quiet, night-time walks on a few occasions because they needed some alone time, which were always Klaus’ favorite times. He could sit under the stars holding Diego’s hand all night, he never got sick of it. 

Being stir crazy and bored was still killing them both, though, and probably Klaus more so. It made his cravings harder to ignore - because even a week later he could easily still cave in a moment of weakness. He still thought about running away, he thought about stealing Agnes’ keys to her car and driving somewhere that he could get what he needed. Now that he had driven under much more extreme duress before, it would be so fucking easy. Somehow he managed to control himself thus far, because he would never forgive himself if he threw everything with Diego away for that temporary relief. Of course Diego was so understanding and patient with him, but would he still be if he knew that the only thing really stopping Klaus from sneaking out was their location? If Klaus could just slip away for a couple hours and find a dealer and then sneak back in before anyone noticed, he would do it without hesitation. It would ruin everything, but he _knew_ he would fucking do it, no matter how much he didn’t want to. He hadn’t even bothered painting his nails in the last week because he constantly chewed them all off during his worst cravings, and he got tired of having a mouthful of paint chips. 

Every single day Diego found new reasons to hate this place too, but he’d figured out how to manage his stress better with exercise. For the last week he’d gone for a run every morning, sometimes for several hours at a time. Klaus absolutely hated those runs, it made him feel weaker than ever, but he knew Diego needed it. 

He tried to distract himself for those couple hours by hanging out with Agnes in the garden, or playing with Twinkie or the birds, or writing his thoughts down in a blank journal that Agnes had given him. Klaus had never really been settled in a place long enough to actually _own_ things as an adult, because even at Craig’s he had to worry about the other girls stealing his shit, so this was the first journal he’d kept since he was a teenager. It helped him more than he ever thought possible, because he was able to write down the unpleasant thoughts he couldn’t share with Diego, or anyone else. Sure, Agnes or Diego could easily read it if they wanted to, it wasn’t locked or anything, but he wasn’t that worried about it. Diego was really big on respecting Klaus’ wishes, which was so sweet, so Klaus didn’t think he would ever snoop even if he wanted to.

This morning Diego had tried to convince Klaus to go on his run with him, get the blood flowing and get out of the house. Klaus couldn’t think of anything he would hate more in the world than trying to keep up with someone as physically fit as Diego, running through rocky terrain in the hot sun. He was not a runner, nor really one much concerned with fitness. He’d always been skinny anyway. Plus, he figured he got plenty of exercise by having sex every night, sometimes all night, but he didn’t really have that excuse anymore. 

Lord knows Diego wasn’t putting out, and that was totally _fine_ and _understandable_ , but it turned out to be a lot more difficult to handle than Klaus originally thought. Of course it wasn’t Diego’s fault, but he was _so_ fucking _good_ at turning Klaus on, but then stopping before either of them got any sort of release. Klaus never understood the meaning of the term ‘blue-balls’ quite as much as he did now, and he really didn’t see any improvement on that front with Diego for quite a long time, if ever. 

Diego refused to acknowledge that it might be a permanent issue for him, but Klaus had certainly considered the possibility. He had never seen anyone react to getting horny by having an absolute meltdown about it, he didn’t see how Diego was ever going to fully heal from that trauma. Part of him wondered if maybe something really did happen to Diego in prison and he’d just blocked it out of his memory. It would make so much sense, but Klaus wasn’t about to press him about it any further. That was a topic for a licensed psychiatrist only, definitely not some random person with a plethora of their own issues surrounding the subject. 

On top of all that, Klaus also realized… he couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone this long without having sex. Like, since he was a teenager, a really young one at that. Even before the prostitution gig, Klaus had used sex as a way to get close to people, trying to make people love him, trying to seem cool, and also just... because it was _fun_ , a stress relief that didn’t cost anything. He was starting to realize that somewhere along the line he hadn’t just become addicted to drugs, he’d become addicted to sex, too. It’s part of what made him genuinely good at the job despite its many flaws. Even some of the sex he’d had with johns was better than none, he was learning, and it was really bumming him out. Why couldn’t he be fucking normal about _anything_? Just another problem he couldn’t tell Diego about, because Klaus absolutely never wanted him to feel guilty about his trauma issues.

Nevertheless, it was definitely a situation, and Klaus decided there was only one way to deal with it. This was the first morning he was actually looking forward to Diego going on his run, because it was the perfect opportunity to uh… take the matter into his own hand, so to speak. Once Diego tied up his shoes and kissed Klaus goodbye, Klaus went to the bathroom across the hall and drew himself a bath. As soon as he settled himself down into the hot water and bubbles that were close to spilling over the edge of the tub, he tried to think of something to get him going. 

Then he ran into another problem - the only thing he wanted to think about was Diego, but he was trying so fucking hard to not sexualize him that way, at least not so soon when he knew it would probably freak Diego out to find out that he was. Thinking about other people felt wrong now, too, because he was kind of falling in love here, and he didn’t want to be unfaithful, even in his own mind. But as he leaned back in the tub and started to lightly tease himself, still all he could think of was Diego. He thought of teasing Diego this way instead of himself, kissing his neck at the same time, making him breathless and needy under the touch, making him feel so good he would whine Klaus’ name before he came. _Fuck_ , Klaus felt so guilty about how fast that got him hard, but it was working and he needed this so damn bad. 

And then, because the universe fucking _hated_ Klaus, the bathroom door opened abruptly and Diego burst in the room like Kramer. He almost screamed until his brain processed who it was, then he just felt more ashamed for what he was in the middle of doing than he already had. He pressed his boner down with his hand and slunk as far under the sudsy water as he could manage, only staring at Diego’s upper half over a mountain of bubbles. 

“Sorry,” Diego said, slamming the door behind himself and squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned against it. In spite of being distressed, Klaus couldn’t help but laugh because it was the most absurd thing that could possibly happen.

“Hey buddy, uh, how can I help you?” Klaus said, his eyebrows raised and a slightly strained smile on his lips. Diego kept his eyes shut but breathed a heavy sigh through his nose and thumped his head back against the door. 

“Fucking _Hazel_ is out there, I had to get away before he ran into my fist,” Diego said, then finally opened his eyes and briefly glanced at Klaus before looking at the floor with a blush on his cheeks and ears.

“Well unless he’s in the bedroom, I’m not sure why you came in here first, or didn’t just head outside like you were going to do anyway,” Klaus said, smiling for real now at how cute and bashful Diego was about Klaus being all naked and wet. “Not that I’m complaining, of course.”

“B-because,” Diego started, looking back up at Klaus with the same sweet blush on his face, “... because being with you calms me down.”

“Oh my god,” Klaus said, resisting the urge to dunk his head completely under water because he could hardly handle that sentence. “You say the cutest fucking things I’ve ever heard in my life. But I’m gonna level with you right now, babe - unless you want to stay for a peep show that will be anything but calming for you, you need to wait for me in the bedroom. Or you’re more than welcome to watch if you want.”

Diego stared at Klaus with confused eyebrows drawn together, then a little bit of hurt, as if he was being rejected, and then Klaus literally saw the moment it clicked for him written on his face. His eyebrows raised, mouth parted, and then “ _Jesus,_ I’m sorry! I’ll u-uh, I’ll wait for you. Sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, you’re fine!” Klaus said as he watched Diego turn and open the door, blushing more than ever as he slipped out and shut the door behind himself. Klaus really didn’t want Diego to leave, he would have absolutely _loved_ to give him a show, but he understood why it wasn’t an option. 

Being caught jerking off by the object of your fantasy might scare the boner away from most people, but not Klaus. He was harder than ever, gripping his cock and hissing the moment the door snapped shut behind Diego. Except now he was fantasizing about what would happen if Diego didn’t leave. Would he get in with Klaus? Or would he just sit on the marble edge of the tub and watch? Would he lean down and kiss Klaus, slipping his hand under the bubbles at the same time, fingertips sliding up Klaus’ inner thigh until he found what he was looking for?

“ _Ughn, fuck_ ,” Klaus gasped softly, biting his lip in an effort to keep quiet, but it was useless.

Hopefully these bathroom walls were thicker than the bedroom ones, or else Diego was about to hear his own name being moaned from across the hall.

When Klaus finished the rest of his bath, he got dressed and walked across the hall while still toweling his hair dry. He felt a little less pent up, but it went deeper than just needing to cum. Still better though, and he couldn’t help but smile when he pushed the cracked bedroom door open and he saw Diego sitting on the bed, his back against the headboard, arms folded and knitted eyebrows. Klaus had no doubt that Diego had spent the entire time thinking about what he’d had to walk away from, and Klaus hoped he liked the idea more than his body language was indicating. God, he looked so fucking hot, even when he was frowning, or perhaps especially when he was frowning. _Like just fuck me up, honestly._ No! _Stop being weird, Klaus, he’s just sitting there._

“I’m not naked anymore, you can open your eyes now,” Klaus said just as he got to the edge of the bed. Diego startled like he hadn’t realized Klaus had walked in, looking up at him with wide eyes. “You good?”

“Yeah. Come with me,” Diego blurted out, unfolding his arms and crossing his legs on the bed as he sat up.

“What? Where? Oh, you mean out for your run? I really don-”

“I won’t run, I’ll walk with you. I just want to show you something,” Diego said, surprising Klaus when he leaned over to take his hand. “You’ll like it, I promise. Please?”

“Ughhhh, I just got clean and now you’re going to make me get all sweaty,” Klaus whined, but he already knew he was going to give in. 

“That wasn’t a no,” Diego said, his face lighting up with the most adorable smile Klaus had ever seen. He was so weak, how could he say no to that? Klaus sighed.

“You better be showing me a cave full of diamonds,” he said, but he couldn’t resist rewarding Diego’s adorable face with a kiss. He leaned in and held Diego’s cheek as he kissed him. 

The best part about the past week had been Diego’s comfort level with kissing getting much higher. It seemed that every day he was getting better about not tensing up when Klaus would lean over and kiss him out of nowhere. He could handle kissing deeply a little better too, actually tipping them into legit makeout territory a couple times. He was even starting to initiate kisses himself more often, letting himself kiss Klaus anytime the urge struck. Those were Klaus’ favorite ones, when he doesn’t see them coming and Diego just gets overwhelmed with how much he likes Klaus and goes for it. 

Nothing felt better than being genuinely adored, and he figured that feeling went both ways. Diego got blushy when he would compliment him, but Klaus knew he was still learning how to take a compliment because… he never really got them. Klaus had been complimented a million times in his life, but mostly just on his looks and his cock-sucking technique, nothing _real_ or deeper than surface level. Only what he could do for other people. But Diego didn’t compliment him like that. Instead he told Klaus how sweet he was, how _interesting, calming, genuine_ he was. Hearing just one of those things was better than all the compliments he’d ever received about his looks combined, and he could never express to Diego how much it meant to him to hear.

“Okay let’s go,” Diego said, breaking their kiss and giving Klaus’ hand a squeeze. “Wear your other shoes though, you’ll kill yourself walking in flip flops out there.”

“Ugh, fine,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes with exaggeration but keeping his smile. “I’ll need to borrow socks. I’m going to look ridiculous in jean shorts and black socks and hot pink shoes.”

“There’s no one out there but snakes and hawks, you’ll be fine,” Diego said, getting up from the bed to get Klaus some clean socks from the drawer. They’d finally resigned themselves to staying here for an extended period of time and started using the dresser, not that they had much to put in it. “Plus, your t-shirt is pink, it will match well enough.”

“You’re afraid of spiders but not snakes?” Klaus asked, catching the balled up pair of socks as Diego tossed them over. He wanted to point out that the t-shirt he was wearing from Agnes was baby pink and the shoes were hot pink, but he figured that sort of difference didn’t matter to Diego one iota. 

“They leave me alone, they are fine. And I’m not afraid of spiders, anyway,” Diego said, bringing the pink shoes to Klaus while he pulled on the socks. 

“If you say so, hon,” Klaus said, chuckling to himself when Diego sighed heavily at him.

Just as they were about to walk out of the front door Diego halted and told Klaus to hang on for a second, then he disappeared into the kitchen. He came back carrying two soda bottles with no labels filled with water in one hand. Then he snatched the multi-colored afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over his arm. 

“We need a blanket? How far are we walking, oh my god,” Klaus asked, dreading the answer. 

“Just wait and see,” Diego said, ignoring Klaus’ look of dismay.

“I’m going to die, but let’s do this,” he said, trying to mentally prepare for all the misery he was about to endure. Diego looked so excited, though. Klaus was going to just have to suck it up because Diego was never excited about anything and he was going to try not to ruin it for him.

He put in a valiant effort, managing to keep his complaining to himself until at least as long as it took for them to lose sight of the house. Normally Klaus liked to stick to Diego’s left side, so when they held hands he knew Diego could feel it, but he needed that one to carry the blanket and water. Their pace was just barely too quick to hold hands, anyway, so Klaus focused on not tripping over rocks instead. 

“How far away are we now?” Klaus asked for the third time in the last 15 minutes. 

He was starting to sweat because the morning sun was already blazing. His feet also hurt because he hadn’t broken in these shoes yet, and even though the mountains in the distance were pretty, he was getting kind of bored. They hadn’t been talking much because in additon to trying not to trip, Klaus was also busy trying not to pant like a dog from exertion, because that would be fucking embarrassing. He really needed to get in some kind of shape, this should not be this difficult. He didn’t even dare light a cigarette because he didn’t need anything else making it harder to breathe at the moment.

“You see that middle hill up ahead?” Diego said, pointing toward a hill that was much smaller than most of the others, nestled between several larger hills. It was still a lot further than Klaus wanted to walk, though.

“That’s still like a mile away! We’ve already been walking for like an hour,” Klaus whined, but kept walking just the same.

“It’s not as far as it looks, you’ll be fine,” Diego said, seemingly unfazed by Klaus’ protests. That bastard hadn’t even broken a sweat, meanwhile Klaus was nervously checking his armpits for stains every five minutes. At least his deodorant seemed to be doing it’s job.

Diego was right, the hill was closer than it looked and they made it there in another 15 minutes. Except now they had to go up and over, and that was the worst thing so far. It was steep, made of only dirt, rocks, dried up grass and sharp weeds that scratched your ankles if you walked too close. Unless Diego found the fountain of youth on the other side, Klaus couldn’t even imagine what was so important for him to see, here. And then they made it to the top.

“Whatever it is better be on the oth-” he started to complain, but the words died in his throat as soon as he glanced out beyond the top of the hill.

The entire backside of the hill was blanketed with a million yellow and purple flowers that flooded out into a valley full of a billion more flowers between the larger hills, as far off into the horizon as the eye could see. Klaus gasped and covered the lower half of his face with his hands, his eyes taking in the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen in person. The yellow flowers looked like big, happy daisies, except their petals were the same sunflower-yellow as the center, and the purple flowers were on long stalks with tiny little purple blossoms growing on them, like a hyacinth but different shaped petals. Klaus had no idea what their names were, but it didn’t matter.

“They don’t have sights like this back in Philly, huh?” Diego said, watching Klaus with heart-eyes and a soft smirk. He knew he did good, even though that was such a dad thing to say. 

“This is fucking amazing Diego, thank you,” Klaus said, turning to Diego and wrapping his arms around his neck. He held on tight for a few moments, Diego reaching up one of his hands to rub Klaus’ back as he buried his face in Klaus’ shoulder.

“I thought you might like it,” Diego said quietly, his breath tickling Klaus’ neck. 

“I love it,” Klaus said, leaning back and cupping Diego’s face instead, then giving him a quick peck on the cheek. “Let’s go!”

“What?” Diego asked, but his question was immediately answered as Klaus gave him a wild look and just… took off down the hill, running fast and feeling more free than he had in years. “Slow down, you’re going to trip, you dork! It’s too steep to run!”

Klaus didn’t listen of course, charging down the hill at full steam, flowers whipping against his shins and knees. It was too exhilarating to restrain himself, he couldn’t even pay attention to his feet hurting anymore. He ran about 100 yards before he stopped himself and turned back to watch Diego taking his sweet ass time walking down the hill. Klaus decided that was for the best, because if Diego fell he would hurt his already injured arm. 

While he waited for Diego to catch up, Klaus bent to pick a couple of yellow flowers and smashed them against his nose, inhaling with exaggeration.

“Whoa, they kinda smell like chocolate!” he said just as Diego finally made it to him. “Do you know what they are?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea,” Diego said, shrugging. “I know vegetables, but not flowers.”

“I’m serious, they smell like warm chocolate, smell!” Klaus said, holding the 2 flowers under Diego’s nose.

“They do, that’s weird,” Diego said, crinkling his nose after taking a sniff. “I bet Agnes knows what they are.”

“I wonder if you can eat them? I wanna eat ‘em,” Klaus said as he smelled the yellow flowers again, making Diego frown.

“Definitely do not test that until you talk to Agnes.”

“Okay, Captain Cautious,” Klaus said, giggling when Diego frowned deeper. “It’s okay, I like that about you. Keeps me from being too crazy.”

“You’re not crazy, Klaus,” Diego said with frowning eyebrows and a smile at the same time. Then he held up the blanket on his arm. “Do you want to sit down?”

“Oh, yeah, sure. It’s like a picnic with no food. Except these flowers,” Klaus said, pretending to put one in his mouth just to see Diego give him that concerned face again.

“Klaus, please,” Diego said, handing him the water bottles to distract him from eating the damn blossoms.

Klaus watched Diego kick some rocks out of the way and unfurl the blanket a few steps away, where the flowers were more scarce so he didn’t flatten more than he had to. As soon as he had all the corners flat he sat down and patted the spot next to him for Klaus to sit. Before he did that, he picked like 10 more flowers, including some of the purple ones, then plopped down on the blanket next to Diego.

“Will you make me a flower chain?” Klaus asked, handing the flowers clutched in his fist to Diego. “You said you made them for your neighbor’s dog, I wanna see.”

“Sure,” Diego said, smiling and nodding. He took the handful and set them on his knee. “You’re going to need more than this, though. I can’t use the purple ones, they are too heavy and not durable enough. The stems will split.”

“Got it,” Klaus said, crawling on his hands and knees to the edge of the blanket by their feet, where the flowers were most plentiful. He wondered if Diego was watching his ass, so he glanced over his shoulder to see, and he definitely was. Klaus smiled to himself but didn’t call him on it, just in case Diego felt awkward or guilty about being caught. He could hardly wait for Diego to get more comfortable with doing totally normal, sexy things. 

“I need about 5 or 6 inches of stem on them,” Diego said, reminding Klaus he had a task to complete. He picked about 20 more flowers, snapping them off with plenty of stem and then walking on his knees back to his spot. Diego took the rest of the flowers that Klaus handed him. “That’s perfect.”

“Just like you!” Klaus said impulsively, but he didn’t regret it because Diego being bashful was so fucking adorable, like his favorite thing ever. Diego blushed, rolled his eyes and then looked down at the flower in his hand. He was still shaking his head as he studiously started the chain, and ignored the compliment.

Klaus watched him slice the stem in the middle with his thumbnail, part way down. Diego picked up another flower and slid the stem of that flower through the slice in the other, pulling it down through until the blossoms were side by side. Then he did the same thing to the second flower’s stem, and then added another flower, and then another.

_Fuck, he’s so hot, how does he look so hot when he’s focused? He’s so talented, too, wow. Look at that, it’s like he’s been doing this professionally for years, it’s flawless. I think I’m… in love with him._

“Where did you learn how to do that, anyway?” Klaus asked, shaking himself out of his own thoughts before he got too carried away. Then he realized the answer was probably going to be ‘ _my mom_ ’ and it was going to make Diego sad, oh no.

“Martha Stewart,” Diego said, chuckling because he knew that answer was ridiculous. Klaus laughed too, then leaned over and kissed Diego’s cheek again. And then his jaw, and then his neck. Diego huffed out a laugh and shrugged his shoulder up to his cheek to make Klaus stop, keeping his eyes on the task. “I’m busy, babe.”

Klaus had to hold in a gasp, because that was the first time Diego ever called him that. His mouth fell open and he stared at the side of Diego’s face, his heart hammering way harder than was necessary. Diego had no idea he just lit Klaus up inside like a Christmas tree, he just kept adding more flowers to the chain like everything was totally normal.

“Hey,” Klaus said, then waited until Diego looked up and over at him. 

“Hmm?” Diego said, but only for a second before Klaus leaned in and kissed his lips.

It was supposed to be another quick one but Klaus couldn’t stop himself. He reached up and held Diego’s face with one hand, kissing him with his whole heart and he hoped Diego could feel that, too. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt this fucking happy or serene, sitting on a blanket with Diego and surrounded by a sea of flowers in the middle of nowhere. He didn’t know he could feel this good sober, and he never wanted it to end.

When he finally pulled back Diego looked a little dazed, then let out a shaky breath. “What was that for?”

“No reason,” Klaus said, petting his thumb over Diego’s cheek and then letting his hand drop. “Sorry, please continue, I’ll control myself.”

“No, don’t ever apologize for that, I loved it,” Diego said, and this time he was the one to make Klaus blush.

“Okay,” he said softly, staring down at the flower chain because for some reason looking at Diego’s face was too much to handle right now. He felt Diego stare at him a moment longer and then turn his focus back to the chain. 

While Diego worked Klaus leaned over and plucked the closest yellow flower, staring at it and spinning it between his fingers but his thoughts were elsewhere. He was thinking about how big his feelings were - filling him up so much he felt like he could explode into 1,000 stars. He thought about how he hasn’t felt this way since… since the last time he saw Dave all those years ago. It was so stupid and dangerous to fall in love, he knew that, but his heart and mind pretty much always disagreed with each other. It was especially stupid because there was no way Diego felt the same way, not yet, or if he did it wouldn’t last. They were still practically fucking strangers based on the amount of time it had been since they met, barely over two weeks, but Klaus felt like he’d known Diego for a lot longer by this point. They’d gone through things together that most couples don’t ever go through in their lives; they’d held each other in their weakest, ugliest moments and came out better on the other side, at least Klaus hoped Diego saw it that way. Despite all the fear and uncertainty that had been plaguing them since the beginning, there was still such a feeling of _hope_ every time Klaus looked at Diego. Klaus also couldn’t remember the last time he’d felt this hopeful about the future, even if it was naive to think that way. 

_He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not,_ Klaus thought as he started plucking yellow petals off the flower and dropping them on the blanket. It started off as just a silly childhood game, but by the time he plucked the last petal he was fully invested in the final answer, as if the flower was a divine oracle. _He loves me._

“What was it?” Diego asked, breaking Klaus out of his trance. He looked up like he’d been caught doing something wrong. 

“What?”

“The last petal, what was it? You were doing that flower game, right?” Diego asked. How the hell could he tell?

“Uh, yeah. It’s a secret,” Klaus said evasively, because he could not handle saying it out loud. Too heavy, too personal. He winked and pretended to be unaffected by the answer. Diego clearly didn’t believe him, but he let it go.

“Here, it’s done,” Diego said, holding the yellow flower chain out to Klaus in both hands. Except it wasn’t a chain, it was-

“Oh my god, you made it a crown!” Klaus said, suddenly excited for an entirely different reason. Diego leaned over and set it on Klaus’ head. 

“Looks good, Your Highness,” he said, then leaned back and smiled at his handiwork. 

“I wish I had a mirror,” Klaus said, reaching up and adjusting it to sit more securely.

“I just told you it looks good, already,” Diego said. “Don’t you believe me?”

“... I do,” Klaus said after staring at him for a few extended seconds, until another thought occurred to him. “Now you need one!”

“No, I’m all set,” Diego said, shaking his head. “Not my thing.”

Klaus ignored him completely and crawled over to pick more flowers again. He heard Diego sigh but he ignored that, too. He only picked about six flowers and crawled back over, then sat down next to Diego again and held up the bunch.

“Teach me,” he said, even though he thought he’d watched long enough to figure it out alone.

That seemed to be much more up Diego’s alley, and he happily took the flowers then. And he did indeed teach Klaus how to make a short chain, only five flowers long. Not long enough for a crown, but perfect for a bracelet. 

“Okay, let me see your wrist,” Klaus said, reaching over to pick up Diego’s hand and bring it to his knee. 

“How did I not see this coming? I thought you were making it for Agnes,” Diego said with a slight eye roll, but he smiled as Klaus wrapped it around his wrist and tucked the last stem into the first one, anyway.

“I wanted us to match,” Klaus said brightly, reaching under Diego’s hand on his knee to lace their fingers together. He lifted their hands to his mouth and kissed Diego’s knuckles. 

“This is definitely the gayest thing I’ve ever done,” Diego said softly as he stared at their clasped fingers, and Klaus detected no regrets in his tone.

“So far,” Klaus said, another impulse he couldn’t stop. Diego looked at him with raised eyebrows and let his mouth fall open a bit. He quickly closed it and swallowed, nervously blinking at Klaus like he was trying to imagine just how gay they could get together. Klaus giggled and shrugged. “I mean I’m just assuming.”

“What about right now?” Diego said, and Klaus had no idea what he meant by that until he leaned over and kissed him again. 

Klaus smiled against his lips, making it hard to kiss back but he was just so full of butterflies and rainbows he couldn’t stop. But Diego was getting much braver (and better!) in the kissing department. After only a few moments Klaus was completely absorbed by the slick softness of Diego’s mouth on his. God, Diego’s lips were so pillowy and perfect, how he had never kissed anyone with them before Klaus, he’d never understand. He untangled his right hand from Diego’s and planted it behind himself on the blanket to lean against, then shifted his weight on his right hip and brought his other hand up to card through the short hair at the back of Diego’s neck. It was a better position for kissing someone sitting next to you, and Diego mirrored him, except instead of wrapping his right hand in Klaus’ hair he rested it on Klaus’ left hip instead. 

It was so fucking good, even with Diego’s inexperience he still managed to kiss Klaus breathless so easily. He let a soft moan escape into Diego’s mouth as soon as tongues got involved. Both time and their surroundings seemingly disappeared, the only thing that existed was their connection, glowing and crackling like fresh kindling in a fire.

Except after a few more minutes Klaus’ arm got tired of him leaning on it, and he had an idea that he hoped wouldn’t push things too far. He let go of Diego’s hair and trailed his fingers down his neck and collar bone, stopping when he got to the middle of his chest. Without breaking the kiss he gripped Diego’s black t-shirt and slowly pulled him backward, and Diego picked up the hint quicker than Klaus expected. 

Diego followed him all the way down, until Klaus was on his back and Diego dropped to his elbow, hovering over him, the other hand still on Klaus’ hip. But the pink shirt rode up to Klaus’ ribs when he laid down and Diego’s fingertips started to wander. _Fuck,_ Klaus loved it so much, another soft moan slipping out of his throat as Diego’s warm hand grazed up his bare side and gripped his ribs just under his shirt. 

He wanted Diego closer; wanted to hook his leg around Diego’s, pull him on top of himself and grind up against him, but it would be too much. He had to be content with sweet, innocent makeouts for now, or possibly forever, because he never wanted to trigger Diego on purpose. This was already riskier than they’d done so far, and when he felt Diego’s whine in his mouth he knew it was going to be over soon. 

Better to end it before it became a problem, Klaus decided, and he forced himself to break the kiss. 

“You’re getting so good at that,” Klaus said breathlessly, staring up at Diego’s face that was shaded with desire he didn’t dare act on. He clearly wanted it to be more too, but he still seemed content with how things were going so far, and that was the goal. Klaus wanted them both to feel good about all the things they did, even when it was hard to put out the fire once they were both lit up.

“Was I bad at it before?” Diego asked, but he didn’t sound offended. In fact he was smirking as the heated desire on his face settled back into dreamy adoration.

“No, but I can tell you’re getting into it easier, now,” Klaus said. He lifted his right hand up to brush his fingertips gently over Diego’s kiss-damp bottom lip. “So pretty, I just wanna bite it.”

“Is that normal?” Diego asked, keeping his smirk in place but Klaus noticed him draw his eyebrows together slightly in concern. 

“Yeah, I think most people are into it, but that’s a little advanced for right now,” Klaus said, letting his hand drop back down to his own chest. And then he felt Diego’s hand on his ribs slide back down and lightly pet over his stomach and hips.

“Tell me what else you want,” Diego whispered, giving Klaus goosebumps over his entire body. He let out a shaky breath and had to tear his gaze away from Diego’s because it was too intense.

“No, honey, you’re not ready to hear it,” Klaus said, staring at the flowers waving in the wind instead.

“I’m okay right now,” Diego said, picking his hand up from Klaus’ stomach and reaching next to him on the blanket for a stray yellow flower. Klaus was already keyed up, but then Diego dragged the petals of the flower over his hip, dipping in the V of each side, making his stomach muscles contract and his cock twitch. It was somehow the sexiest and cheesiest thing that ever happened to him at the same time. Diego whispered again, “I wanna know, so I can give it to you when I’m ready for it.”

Klaus’ breath hitched and he held in a whine, both Diego’s words and flower petals making him shiver. He would love to be able to just let all the filthy, obscene things he wanted Diego to do to him fall out of his mouth, but not right now. Diego didn’t need to be handled like a child necessarily, but he did need Klaus to not traumatize him with sexual imagery either. There was no way Klaus could say _‘I want you to absolutely destroy my ass, face down right here on this blanket while you choke me out from behind’_ without ruining the mood. Diego would just not understand that sort of desire yet, especially when witnessing sexual aggression was what fucked him all up to begin with. God, what would Diego even think of him for liking it a little rough and disrespectful, if he knew? The thought stressed Klaus out, made him want a cigarette, but he didn’t want to ruin the moment with that either.

“Right now I just want you to keep kissing me,” he said instead, which was definitely still true. Diego rolled his eyes and smiled. 

“Okay, I meant what _else_ , but that still sounds nice,” Diego said, so he did. 

He dropped the flower on the blanket and leaned his upper half over Klaus again, face hovering just above his. Klaus stared up at him, his head backlit by the blue sky and he thought to himself ‘ _Even his_ ears _are cute, look at them. Cutest fucking ears ever, even kittens are jealous_ ’ - which made him giggle as soon as Diego tried to kiss him. So Diego accidentally kissed his teeth instead, but he wasn’t deterred. He just waited for Klaus to get his giggles out and tried again, but this time Klaus was ready, his eyes fluttering closed on instinct as soon as their lips met. He was just getting into it, cupping Diego’s stubbly cheek and licking the seam of his lips - and then another funny thought occurred to him, so he ruined it again.

“What the fuck is so funny?” Diego said, chuckling because Klaus actually snorted in the middle of giggling this time. “You’re gonna give me a complex, here.”

“No! No, I’m sorry, it’s just… I thought to myself that this was kind of our Armageddon moment, the love scene minus the animal crackers,” Klaus said, moving his fingers from Diego’s cheek to press them into his own eyes and trying to regain his composure. Diego knitted his eyebrows and looked away, like he was trying really hard to remember what the hell Klaus was talking about from a 17 year old movie.

“Sorry, I saw that one, but it was a million years ago,” Diego said. “I just remember an asteroid was going to hit the earth so they sent Steve Buscemi and some other super unqualified dudes up into space to blow it up.”

“Yeah, that’s the main plot. But there was also a super cheesy but cute love scene where Ben Affleck and - … you know what, _nevermind_ ,” Klaus said, interrupting himself because he realized he was robbing himself of sweet kisses by running his mouth. “Just kiss me again.”

And this time Klaus finally had his shit together enough to enjoy it, and to make sure Diego knew he was enjoying it. He was easily able to let himself get lost in it again, savoring how quick Diego’s hand started roaming his body again. And then he dragged his nails lightly over Klaus’ jaw and neck, and Klaus moaned just a little too passionately. It was Diego’s turn to break the kiss with a laugh, but he still kept his lips close, giving Klaus’ cheek a soft peck while he chuckled. 

“You like your neck touched, don’t you?” he whispered against Klaus’ cheek, and then rubbed his thumb over the pulse in Klaus’ neck. 

Klaus just moaned in response and turned his head to the side, hoping Diego would take the hint and go for it. _Fuck yes_ , he did. Diego dipped his head and kissed Klaus’ exposed neck, several feather soft ones, followed by the tip of Diego’s tongue licking a stripe up to his jaw. Klaus was just about to whine for more, but a strong gust of cool wind distracted him. He opened his eyes to see dark, foreboding thunderheads on the horizon, silent lightning turning them from black to light gray-blue. He reached up and patted Diego’s arm to drag his attention away from Klaus’ neck, even though that’s the last thing Klaus wanted. 

“Hey, do those clouds look like they’re moving really fast to you?” Klaus said, and Diego turned his head to look in the same direction. 

“Oh shit, yeah definitely. We should get going or we’re going to get drenched,” he said, then pushed himself up and away from Klaus.

“Ugh, this storm is so homophobic! I just wanted neck kisses,” Klaus pouted, sitting up and grabbing the flower crown that had fallen off when he laid down. He set it back on his head and stood up so Diego could pick up the blanket.

“There will be plenty of time for that later, it’s okay,” Diego said, snapping the blanket to get all the dirt and dead grass off the bottom. Klaus saw him wince, no doubt the sharp motion aggravated his sore arm. 

“I know, but we’ve barely been out here an hour. I was in no hurry to leave,” Klaus complained. He bent to pick up the untouched water bottles so that Diego didn’t have to carry them this time. It was only fair. 

As much as the walk to the flower field had sucked, the walk back was going to be worse. Instead of the trip ending with a steep hill, it began with one this time and Klaus was already out of breath by the time they made it to the top again. This was ridiculous. He’d walked plenty of miles every night in the city, why was walking on uneven ground so much harder? He tried to be cool about it though, because he wasn’t going to let this storm or the hike back ruin the amazing time he’d had out here. Even though he was momentarily distracted, he had every intention of being giddy again once he wasn’t struggling to breathe. 

“We’re never going to make it back without getting wet unless we run. The storm is about 10 or 15 minutes from here,” Diego said, and as if on cue, there was a deep, distant roll of thunder. “C’mon.”

“What’s wrong with getting wet, anyway?” Klaus asked. Diego held out his hand he took it, letting himself be dragged along down the other side of the hill at a quicker pace.

“Nothing, but I don’t want to get struck by lightning, either,” Diego said, keeping up his brisk stride. Klaus let out a breathy laugh. 

“That never happens to anyone for _real!”_

“Do you really want to test that theory with the bad luck we’ve already had?” Diego said, and Klaus couldn’t argue with that even though he was still 100% sure that wasn’t going to happen. 

Walking quickly got a little easier once they reached the bottom of the hill, and Klaus sped up his own pace, too. The dark clouds were moving in, the wind was picking up and the gaps between the thunder were shrinking with every boom. It was exhilarating, honestly, and Klaus wished Diego wasn’t quite so eager to get back before the rain. He would love to just stand in the storm and absorb the natural chaotic energy. 

When the first raindrop fell on Diego’s cheek he started jogging, dragging Klaus with him even though they were still so far from the house that it didn’t matter. They were absolutely about to get soaked, and Klaus was pretty thrilled about it. He clutched the water bottles tighter under his arm and started running so he was next to Diego instead of trailing behind him.

“I’m going... to have... so many... fucking blisters later,” Klaus said, but he was grinning and breathing heavily so it came out between puffs of air. He ran through the pain anyway, until he tripped on the roots of some sagebrush and hit his knees hard on the rocky dirt. “ _Shit!_ ”

Diego almost tripped too when his hand was jerked backward by Klaus holding it as he fell. He looked down at Klaus, momentarily stunned and then immediately worried, but Klaus was still grinning for some fucking reason as he patted his head to make sure his crown was still in place. He let go of Diego’s hand and sat back on his ass, then dragged his left knee up toward his face with both hands. 

It was dirty and scraped all to Hell by the sharp rocks, blood starting to trickle out of the deeper cuts. It still hurt less than his feet, and he couldn’t be nearly as bothered as Diego about it. The other knee was scraped too, but nowhere near as bad. Heavy rain drops landed on his knee, mixing with the dirt and blood and making it streak down his shin faster. 

“Oh my god, are you alright?” Diego asked, crouching in front of him and staring in horror at his knees. “I’m so fucking sorry, I shouldn’t have made you run!”

“It’s fine, babe. Still the best day ever! Let’s go,” Klaus said breathlessly, clapping a hand on Diego’s shoulder and hoisting himself up. He bent to grab the water bottles he’d dropped and held his hand back out for Diego to take again. Klaus pulled him to his feet and started walking quickly again, limping ever so slightly.

“Are you sure you’re okay? We can just walk. I’m so sorry,” Diego fussed, glancing down at Klaus’ legs with a frown every few steps.

“Diego, it’s fine, honey. My knees have definitely looked worse after a long night,” he said, but he could tell his words were not comforting Diego at all. If anything the last comment made Diego frown harder, which was surprising because Klaus didn’t expect him to understand what he meant by that. It was just a joke, but Diego never looked relieved when Klaus made light of bad situations with off the wall humor. 

Lightning lit up the dark sky and the cold rain poured harder, but Klaus stopped and dropped the bottles again. He dragged Diego close to him by his hand, then let go and wrapped his arms around Diego’s neck instead. This wasn’t the time for this, but he wanted Diego to stop feeling bad, because Klaus was still over the moon and he wanted them to be happy together. This was still a great day, he wasn’t going to let wet clothes or a scuffed up knee ruin it.

“What are you doing? Are you hurting too bad to walk?” Diego asked, but he dropped the blanket and instinctively accepted the hug, anyway. He wrapped his arms around Klaus’ waist and rested his chin on his shoulder, both of them ignoring the wind and rain whipping around them. Klaus held on to him for a few moments longer, until he felt Diego start to relax, and then he pulled back just enough to see Diego’s anxious face. 

“I want you to relax. I’m fine, everything is still perfect,” he said, leaning back in to kiss the frown between Diego’s eyebrows, then another on his wet cheek.

“You’re bleeding, though,” Diego said, his voice was so soft and concerned that Klaus couldn’t help but smile about how sweet he was for the 100th time that day. 

“It’s just a scraped knee, I promise I’ll live,” Klaus whispered against the corner of Diego’s mouth, the sound almost drowned out by the rain pelting the ground all around them. He gave the spot a little kiss, and then another proper kiss on Diego’s lips. And then another, until Diego started kissing back. 

Klaus had seen people kiss in the rain in movies plenty of times, and he’d always wanted to do it. Turns out it’s just as romantic as he expected, as long as he kept his eyes closed to keep the rain out. Feeling Diego melting into the kiss was even better, especially with the deep crack of thunder rumbling hard enough to vibrate the ground under their feet. _Fucking_ _electric_ \- Klaus couldn’t even register the stinging of his knees or ache of his feet because this kiss was all that mattered in the world to him at the moment. 

“Mmm-” Diego mumbled against his lips, pulling back and taking a breath. He squinted and blinked at Klaus through the rain in his face. “We should go, this is turning into kind of a serious storm.”

“If you insist,” Klaus said with a dramatic sigh. He could have stood there kissing Diego in the middle of a nuclear apocalypse, he didn’t give a shit. But it was starting to rain a lot harder and their clothes were completely soaked now, plus they still had at least half way left to go.

Finally reaching the house was a blessing. Klaus loved the storm, but walking through mud was even worse than the dry, uneven ground and his knee was really starting to sting. Unfortunately for Diego, both Hazel and the dreaded finches were hanging out in the sunroom when they walked through the screen door. Agnes shrugged off Hazel’s arm from her shoulders and stood up from the couch immediately, mumbling something about towels before disappearing into the house. 

“You guys look like drowned sewer rats,” Hazel said, because he just couldn’t say anything nice to them ever. Klaus saw Diego’s hand clench into a fist at his side, so he grabbed it and forced his fingers between Diego’s to diffuse the rage somewhat. Can’t be angry when you’re holding hands, that’s just facts.

“You look like you eat every meal at Krispy Kreme, even got powdered sugar on your suit still,” Diego spat, making Klaus cringe. A _fat joke_? That’s the best Diego had? Klaus was just going to blame the stress, or maybe he didn’t want to threaten Hazel’s life while there were witnesses.

“Actually, there really are doughnuts in the house. The raspberry jam in them is to die for,” Hazel said pleasantly, taking zero offense to Diego’s insult. He looked at his jacket lapel and then brushed off the powdered sugar that was indeed still there.

“Amazing, this day just keeps getting better,” Klaus said, just now realizing there was the scent of raspberries and fried dough on the air, now that the earthy smell from outside cleared his nose. He could also smell the blood on his knee and the bacon Agnes had cooked for breakfast that morning, and the salty dampness of rain on Diego’s skin. 

So many smells. He honestly couldn’t remember smelling this much before he got sober, which was a weird side effect he wasn’t expecting. Maybe it was because he’d also been smoking way less, too?

Agnes rushed back in the room with 2 fluffy, folded white towels in her arms. She handed one to each of them and Klaus let go of Diego’s hand to towel himself off. He almost toweled his hair until he remembered the flower crown sitting on it.

“Oh hey, do you know what these flowers are?” Klaus asked Agnes, pointing to his head. Agnes stepped closer to examine them for a second with a warm smile on her face. 

“Arrowleaf balsamroot. They are great for medicinal purposes. Burn relief for topical use, and if you drink it as a tea, an effective expectorant for chest congestion,” Agnes said knowledgeably. Klaus loved hearing her talk about flowers. “Bit late in the season for them, though.”

“They must have missed the memo because there was a shitload of them out there,” Klaus said, then turned to Diego. “I told you I could have eaten them and been fine!”

“Cool,” Diego said distractedly, then kicked off his soggy wet shoes by the screen door. Klaus did the same, and then followed him as he went through the kitchen door. He wasn’t upset by his dismissive response, he knew how much Diego hated being in the same room as Hazel, and the birds.

“Are you going to wash up first or am I?” Klaus asked as he followed Diego down the hall. He wanted to stop for a fresh doughnut, but that would have to wait until his clothes weren’t dripping all over the floor.

“You are,” Diego said, but when Klaus got to the bathroom door Diego went in first and flipped on the light. Klaus stood in the hallway, confused, until Diego turned around and waved for him to come in. “Your knee.”

“What about it?” Klaus asked, stepping into the bathroom and closing the door behind himself.

“Get up on the counter so I can look at it,” Diego said, still a little bit of crispness to his tone. He was still clearly affected by Hazel even though he shouldn’t be. 

“I can do it myself,” Klaus said, but he did as he was told, anyway. Diego hooked his hand behind Klaus’ knee and bent to examine it. It was a lot more grizzly looking in the bright light of the bathroom than it had been out in the dark storm, but other than some stinging, it didn’t really hurt all that bad. 

“Fuck, there are a bunch of tiny stones in it,” Diego said, then let Klaus’ leg fall back to the counter. He walked over to the closet and pulled out a washcloth, then walked back over and wet it in the sink next to Klaus’ butt. 

“That sounds bad,” Klaus said, but he was mostly busy watching Diego, studying him as he wet the washcloth with warm water and crouched down on one knee. 

Diego was so serious about taking care of this, so deliberate and dedicated in his effort to care for Klaus in general. It had been so long since someone cared about Klaus this way, he didn’t know how to handle it. Even when Diego started gently wiping his knee and making the stinging 100x worse, Klaus could only focus on how big and raw his feelings about Diego were, how much he wanted to kiss him and never stop. 

“Okay, this is going to hurt, but I have to pick those embedded stones out of your knee,” Diego said. 

“Fucking gross, why do you gotta say it like that,” Klaus said, shuddering about the idea of anything being ‘ _embedded_ ’ under his skin. But then he couldn’t think about anything but pain as Diego started to dig the stones out of the wound. He winced and clutched the edge of the counter with both hands, strangling a shout in his throat. That shit hurt more than when he initially scraped it. 

“I know, I’m sorry, only a couple more,” Diego said, wiping a few tiny, bloody pebbles on the washcloth that he’d already retrieved. 

“We really need to stop bleeding on each - _ouch!_ \- on each other,” Klaus said, then shut his eyes and let his head thump back against the mirrored medicine cabinet behind him. He wasn’t really that squeamish, but watching Diego dig his finger in his open wound was somehow one of the grossest things he’d ever seen. He momentarily hoped he didn’t damage his flower crown when he smashed it against the mirror, but then Diego picked another pebbled out and he immediately forgot. 

“Something tells me this won’t be the last time. You kinda fall down a lot,” Diego said. Klaus let out a huff of laughter. 

“I do. Hopefully you don’t get shot a lot, though. I don’t know how many more bullet wounds I can handle cleaning,” Klaus said, and that was the truth. 

Every time he even thought about that night it made him feel faint and sick to his stomach. He still had no idea how he managed to handle every traumatic thing that happened that night. When he thought back to it, it felt like he was watching a different person do all of those things. He had truly been beside himself with shock and terror. But if it meant saving Diego’s life, he _would_ do it all again. Even the murder, which he still hadn’t even let himself fully process. Maybe he never would, maybe neither of them would.

“Yeah, once was enough for me, too,” Diego said, then lifted Klaus’ leg to reach under and open the cupboard door. He must have finished with the stones, because he grabbed an almost-empty bottle of alcohol, medical tape and gauze, then shut the cupboard. He unscrewed the cap of the alcohol and hovered it over Klaus’ wound. “Deep breath.”

“Fuck, okay. Go,” Klaus said, obeying Diego and inhaling deeply. He hissed out his exhale as the alcohol stung the raw scrape. It still hurt way less than Diego fucking with it, and it was over in a few seconds. Diego blew on it, the cold stream of air easing the sting even faster. “You’re such a good nurse.”

Diego rolled his eyes but Klaus caught the corners of his mouth quirk upward. Klaus was annoyed with himself for constantly thinking ‘ _god, he’s so sweet, I’m so lucky,_ ’ but it was how he felt anytime Diego did basically anything. Klaus watched him rip off a small piece of gauze and four pieces of tape that he stuck to the top of his hand until he needed them. After he set the gauze over the wound he applied the tape, then he melted Klaus’ heart even further. Diego leaned in and kissed the bandage, like a mom kissing her kid’s boo-boo all better, also the same way Klaus had kissed his finger bandages last week. Adorable.

“There, all cleaned up,” Diego said, then moved Klaus’ leg again to put all the stuff back under the counter. 

As soon as Diego stood, Klaus couldn’t stop himself. He grabbed Diego by the front of the shirt and pulled him between his knees, then kissed him with both hands on his face. Diego rested his hands on Klaus’ hips, and Klaus wished he would grip them and slide him forward on the counter all passionately, but that was just a dream, at least for now.

“M’kay- time to - get out - of these wet - clothes,” Diego said, but Klaus kissed his lips quickly between every couple of words as he tried to speak. Diego laughed and Klaus kissed him again, lips landing on mostly teeth. “Klaus, please.”

“What? I can’t help it,” Klaus said, finally giving Diego some space. He leaned back to stare at Diego’s pretty brown eyes, they were so soft and warm when he was looking at Klaus, so different to the cold, dark glare he held when talking to anyone else.

“Bathe if you’re going to, I’ll be in the bedroom,” Diego said, and Klaus was sad to feel him pull away and step back.

Once Diego was out of the room Klaus assessed his situation. He was wet, his legs were dirty and bloody, but he didn’t feel like he needed to bathe again, really. Rain water in his hair wasn’t that gross, and he never got sweaty anywhere but his face, so he decided he could just take a sink bath and be fine. Taking a full bath would probably make his bandage fall off, anyway. He was horny again though, and that was annoying, but he hoped it would go away by the time he finished washing up. So what if he had to jerk off again before he went back to the room, who’s counting?

Klaus had deja vu as he walked in the bedroom after getting clean. Diego was lying on the bed again with his eyes closed, just like earlier that morning. Except this time Diego wasn’t wearing a shirt, and just like that, Klaus was turned on again. Fuck, he looked so great, Klaus had never wanted to blow someone more in his life. _Still not the time_ , Klaus told himself, and tried to get a handle on his overactive imagination. Diego hadn’t ever been comfortable being casually shirtless before, and Klaus didn’t want to be a freak about it and make Diego never do it again. 

Also unlike this morning, Diego seemed to be truly asleep this time. Klaus heard him snoring softly with one arm over his stomach and the other one with his flower bracelet on it draped over his head on the pillow. It was a perfect spot for Klaus to snuggle up in, and as soon as he found some dry clothes, that’s exactly what he was going to do. He gently picked up the crown on his head and set it on the dresser, then peeled off his damp shirt and dropped it on the floor. As silently as possible, he opened one of the dresser drawers and pulled out Diego’s last pair of clean sweatpants and also his last black tank top. They had to do laundry later anyway, it should be fine. 

Klaus pulled on the dry clothes and padded around to his side of the bed. There was no way to do this without kneeling on his sore knee, but he did it anyway, crawling over to Diego’s side, wincing every time he had to put pressure on his knee. He tried not to wake Diego as he laid next to him, and he sincerely hoped Diego wouldn’t be uncomfortable with him being so close to him while he wasn’t wearing a shirt. He carefully settled down, head on Diego’s left pec and arm draped over his stomach under Diego’s other arm. 

Thankfully Diego hadn’t stirred, so Klaus let his body relax against his warm skin. Except now instead of feeling horny about it, he was feeling overly emotional about how comfortable and close they had become in such a short amount of time. Spending the morning with Diego in the flower field was so fucking perfect and sweet, Klaus couldn’t stop thinking about how much he cherished moments like that with him. It made him feel like he was truly falling in love here, but he couldn’t help being cynical about it in the back of his mind. 

Klaus knew the only reason they could be so free and happy in that moment was because of where they were, stuck in this limbo of faux-safety and peace. But nothing about their situation was actually safe, it was all an illusion. Luther could fail at protecting them, Luther could decide they were more trouble than they were worth and hang them out to dry, they could still easily be caught by law enforcement for their crimes and put in prison for life. Or the worst option, at least the one that would hurt Klaus the most, is if Diego just… abandons him. 

Who’s to say that when they get to Luther’s, Diego will still want Klaus around? He says he does, but talk is cheap, people say things they don’t mean all the time. Things might change when Diego sees a way out that doesn’t include Klaus, or if Luther is only willing to help Diego once they get there. Klaus had learned the hard way that everyone he loves leaves him, it’s just the way things had always been for him. It’s what had stopped him from forming any emotional attachment to anyone since he lost Dave, because everyone was temporary in his life, so why bother trying to love anyone? Diego would leave him one day, too, and Klaus didn’t know if he could handle another heartbreak like that.

On top of all those reasons, Klaus also knew that Diego hadn’t truly grasped the scope of his issues yet. Sure, Diego knew about his drug problem, the prostitution and his teenage suicide attempt, but there were still _so_ many things he didn’t know, so many sides of Klaus he hadn’t seen yet. Especially now that Klaus was sober, it was only a matter of time before he depleted all his serotonin and completely bottomed out emotionally. He could feel it coming, despite all the good things he felt when he was with Diego, and it wouldn’t be pretty or charming in the least. It would only be a matter of time before Diego realized he didn’t want to be bothered with Klaus and the weight of his baggage. And how could he blame him? Diego had enough of his own problems, he didn’t need to be saddled with all of Klaus’ as well.

 _If I let myself love him he will leave. If he knows how fucked up I really am he will leave. If Luther gives him an out, he will leave. If I hadn’t been such a fuck-up in the first place, Diego wouldn’t even be in this amount of danger to begin with, and one day he’s going to realize that and leave. He will leave me no matter what_ \- Klaus couldn’t stop running over all these anxieties in his mind, trying to convince himself not to fall in love, not to get his hopes up; trying to ready himself for the let down when it finally happened. These feelings of love and comfort with Diego were just temporary, just like everything else. The only thing Klaus had ever been able to depend on was the drugs and the relief they brought him, the only constant in his life, and now he didn’t have that either.

“Hey, I can basically hear you stressing,” Diego mumbled with a sleepy voice, dragging Klaus out of his spiral of despair. Diego brought his arm down from over his head to rest his hand over the side of Klaus’ face. He pet Klaus’ hair back, pet his cheek and down the side of his neck, soft and soothing. 

“I’m not,” Klaus lied, even though Diego’s affectionate touch almost brought him to tears, so he was very clearly stressing himself out.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay, I’m listening if you do,” Diego said sincerely, but he started snoring again a few seconds later, his hand in Klaus’ hair going slack again. 

That was fine, because Klaus surely couldn’t voice any of his fears out loud, anyway. Diego would freak right out if Klaus started babbling about being afraid to fall in love with him, so it was for the best. He tried to relax and just let himself enjoy these soft moments, because he didn’t know how much longer they had to do this. Plus, Diego’s fingers threaded in his hair was so nice, it’s all he wanted to focus on anymore. Even if it was just temporary, it was enough to ease him off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Only 3 more chapters left in the Heirophant arc! How are we feeling about everything so far, friends?  
> \- Chapter 14 will be out on 7/24!


	16. The Hierophant: Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** heavy depression content warning, jsyk  
> ** another time jump, note the timestamp!

_** September 17th, 2015, 11:45am ** _

“Klaus, please wake up,” Diego said, shaking Klaus’ shoulder for the 5th time that morning. “C’mon, it’s almost noon. You’ve had plenty of sleep now.”

“No offense, but can you please just fuck off for a while,” Klaus grumbled, pulling the blanket up over his head so Diego couldn’t touch him or look at him anymore. It was the first thing Klaus had said all morning, though, so maybe it was a start.

“What’s going on? Did I do something wrong?” Diego asked, kneeling on the bed behind Klaus with his hands between his knees. Klaus ignored him.

He had already been sleeping for almost 14 hours, Diego couldn’t understand what was going on. Sure, he pretty much always woke up before Klaus, but this was getting ridiculous. He had slept through breakfast, and now it was almost time for lunch and he didn’t look any more likely to be getting up soon. Diego had only left long enough to have some coffee and toast, because he could just tell something was wrong, even if Klaus wasn’t saying anything. He had been too afraid to go for his run too, just in case this was one of Klaus’ weak drug craving moments, but it didn’t seem like the same thing. When Klaus was like that he wanted Diego to be as close as possible, but now he was telling him to go away. He’d never told Diego to go away before except for during the worst of his withdrawal, and it really hurt, even though he could tell Klaus wasn’t himself. And now he wasn’t responding again. 

“Hey honey, I’m sorry to bother you, but Luther’s on the phone if you still wanted to talk to him,” Agnes said, poking her head in the bedroom. 

Diego sighed and gave Klaus one last concerned glance before he got off the bed. He didn’t want to leave, but he’d been trying to get ahold of Luther for at least a week now. Somehow he was always too busy to come to the phone or call back, and it was really pissing Diego off to not have any information whatsoever. Hazel was no help either, all he did was brush off Diego’s concerns and tell him that Luther was taking care of things. Okay, but _how_ though?

Agnes handed him the corded kitchen phone when he walked in, and he tried to quiet the storm inside before he said anything. It was going to kill him to not have some snappy remark about Luther being too busy to call him back, but he had to keep things cordial if he wanted information. The amount of vitriol toward Luther he’d had to internalize in the last couple weeks was going to poison him from the inside out before too much longer, though.

“Hey.”

“Hey, sorry I haven’t returned your calls. How are you?” Luther said, and he sounded… weirdly optimistic, which was not what Diego was expecting.

“I’m fine. What’s going on?”

“Well, what as Hazel told you?”

“Just start from the top. He’s as useless as a glass hammer.”

“The gist is that I have the Feds chasing you all the way to the Mexican border-- don’t snort at me, that’s literally where American criminals flee to a lot of times, okay? And they think the who-... they think you and your friend split up along the way, or that you left him somewhere.”

“Why do they think that?”

“Because I hired someone that looks enough like you to rent a motel room outside of El Paso, alone. I made sure the motel had security cameras in the lobby, and had them lay false fingerprints in the room and a little bit of your blood in the sink, and then leave shortly after. I also had him leave the gun used to murder ChaCha in a duffle bag similar to the one you were carrying with you. Ballistics will-”

“Wait, how the fuck did you get my blood and fingerprints?” 

“Your last room in Idaho was splashed with all sorts of DNA, including some clothes with, quite frankly, a disturbing amount of semen on them, but that’s irrelevant. We got what we needed,” Luther said, and Diego wanted to die more than ever. Because he knew those clothes were Klaus’ for one, plus, the thought of Luther just… having his blood and prints on file for use at his own personal whim was beyond upsetting. “My guy also retrieved a couple of your head hairs from the bed, and those will be used in the future if need be.” 

“And that’s it? You just run the Feds on a goose chase until they give up? That doesn’t seem like a very good long term solution, here,” Diego said, and it was true. While it was impressive what Luther had managed to do so far, it didn’t seem like a long term plan. 

”They don’t think you’re here, or Oregon, and your friend is considered to be completely in the wind. I’ve been expending all my available resources toward this. Christ, what more do you want from me, Diego?” Luther snapped. Diego bit the inside of his cheek for a few seconds and tried to mentally force his blood pressure to fall somewhere near normal.

“What now?”

“Now you sit tight for another week or so, and I’ll send Hazel to pick you up and bring you here after I sort out a couple more things in Livingston. You really put that city on the map in the worst way, by the way. You’re the new local Boogeyman,” Luther said, like he was genuinely amused by the concept, but Diego didn’t find it funny in the slightest. “Then, once you’re here we can discuss the long term, but all I’m asking is that you have a little more faith in what I’m trying to do, here. It’s not like helping convicts escape the law is my regular job.”

“Yeah, you’ve mentioned. You know Klaus is coming with me, right?”

“I figured. I’m not happy about it but Hazel tells me you two are uh- _bonded,_ so what choice do I have? Not to mention if I turn him loose he will blow the whole jig if anyone finds out who he is, so he’s part of this now whether I like it or not. But I swear to God, Diego. If you bring a junkie in my house and he does what every fucking junkie does, you’re both out on your ass,” Luther said sincerely. “So keep that in mind.”

“He won’t. He’s sober now,” Diego said, but he knew it sounded flimsy even to his own ears. Addicts relapse all the time, no matter whose lives they fuck up in the process, but Diego was still stubbornly of the opinion that Klaus just _wouldn’t_ do that to him.

“Right,” Luther said, his tone revealing that he did not have the same faith in Klaus. “Alright, I have another call to take. You’ll be hearing from me before the end of the month. Behave.”

The line went dead and Diego slammed it on the receiver. He should be comforted that Luther had a plan, but Diego not having any part in it besides sitting around was torture. The last time he left his fate in Luther’s hands he was burned immeasurably, why would this time be any different?

“Everything okay?” Agnes asked cautiously, making Diego jump. 

He’d forgotten she was sitting at the table behind him. He turned to see her watching him with worried eyes, but not necessarily concern - she was afraid of Diego being angry after talking to Luther. She was afraid of _him,_ just like everyone else. It used to feel good while he was in prison, striking fear into other people’s hearts just by looking at them. It was useful, and it meant he was protected from people trying to fuck with him. 

Now… it felt awful, it felt like he was never going to be normal or seen as just a regular, non-threatening guy. It made him angry, and he hated that too, because it was a vicious cycle. Being angry that people were afraid made him react badly, which enforced their opinion that he was dangerous even further, which made him even more pissed off. That cycle was how he’d gotten into so many fistfights in school, because the other kids were afraid of the angry kid, and not one of them wondered what made him that way in the first place. They would just antagonize him further until he did the violent thing they knew he was going to do, because kids were fucking assholes. 

Then he thought back to the hotel in Montana, when he’d thrown the phone against the wall and he’d even made Klaus afraid in that moment. He _had_ to break the cycle, learn how to control his violent outbursts, because if he ever made Klaus cower away from him that way again…

“Yeah, he seems to have things under control,” Diego said with as much of an optimistic tone as he could muster. He decided that breaking the cycle with Agnes was a good start. “I think sometimes he just says condescending things to irritate me on purpose, though.”

“He can be condescending at times, yes, even with me, but that’s his father in him,” Agnes said with a nod. 

“Well his father sucks,” Diego said impulsively, but Agnes nodded again with a little more enthusiasm. 

“You got that right, honey. But Luther doesn’t have the same cold heart, and you’ll see that once you meet him now as an adult,” Agnes said, but Diego definitely wasn’t in the mood to talk about Luther’s heart, cold or otherwise. He was busy remembering that something was wrong with Klaus.

“Do you have a thermometer?” Diego asked, abruptly redirecting the conversation.

“Yes I do, but what do you need it for? Are you feeling sick?” Agnes asked, already standing to retrieve it for him.

“No, I think Klaus might be, though,” Diego said, and Agnes froze and stared at him for a moment, then sat back down in her chair.

“I don’t think it’s that kind of illness, sweetheart. Sit,” she said, gesturing to the other chair. He didn’t want to follow that instruction, he wanted to get back to Klaus, but he walked over to the table and did it anyway. Something about her demeanor had changed and he couldn’t help but think she was about to tell him something important. 

“Do you know something I don’t?” Diego asked, frowning and feeling pre-maturely anxious.

“Well, of course I can’t be sure but… this seems more like depression. Like what your mom had, except not the post-partum part. She still did the same thing, though. If I tried to get her out of bed she just… couldn’t,” Agnes said, and Diego was completely unprepared for that comparison. He kept quiet, waiting for her to continue. “Reginald insisted it was laziness, and on the surface it appears that way, but it’s not that she _wouldn’t_ get up. She literally could not make herself. Not even when I would hold her crying baby in the same room with her, she didn’t even look up.”

“But Klaus didn’t have a baby, and he’s never done this before,” Diego said, because he simply could not accept that answer. “Plus, my mom never did that when I was growing up and she had plenty of reason to be depressed then, too.”

“She got help after Reginald sent her away-”

“- threw her out,” Diego corrected.

“Yes, Diego. She left, and she got medicated, and she got better,” Agnes said, and her words triggered such a vivid series of memories he had forgotten about that he almost gasped out loud. 

He could _remember_ Grace taking medication every day. On the mornings Diego managed to wake up around the same time as her, sometimes he would come in the kitchen and see her swallow a pill with a glass of water. She had always said it was for a headache, and Diego had been young so of course he believed it without question. It was such a mundane memory that he hadn’t thought of it probably since the last time he had seen her take one, but the memory was still there. He also remembered Klaus rattling off the reasons he used pain killers, and none of the reasons were ‘ _to be high_ ’ - they were to stave off anxiety, panic attacks, nightmares. And probably whatever he was going through now too, most likely. 

“... he did seem a little off yesterday, too,” Diego said quietly with a somber nod. “But… he seems happy here - with me, and with you, and the cat and everything. He likes it here, why would this happen now?”

“Well, Grace liked her baby, too. I don’t think depression really cares what’s happening around you when it takes over, at least not this kind. He also has gone through an extreme amount of trauma recently, you both have, and it’s probably catching up with him,” Agnes said, then paused for a moment before continuing. “Of course he could just be having a low energy day or something, I’m no psychiatrist, but I have never seen anyone without depression behave this way.”

“What do I do?” Diego asked in a small voice. All of this information made him so profoundly sad, for his mom and for Klaus. Neither of them deserved to feel that badly, it was so unfair.

“I don’t know the answer to that one, unfortunately, I’m sorry. My best guess is just make sure he knows you’re not giving up on him or upset with him, and hope he can find his way out of the woods without some kind of treatment.”

“Of course I’m not upset with him, I just want to help,” Diego said, and he tried not to flinch when Agnes reached over and rested her hand on his forearm on the table.

“I know you do, you’re a sweet guy, but I think all you can do is just wait. And then when you get to Luther’s, talk to him about finding Klaus some professional help,” Agnes said, and Diego pulled his arm out from under her hand and frowned.

“I don’t see how that’s even possible. We can’t just stroll into a doctor’s office, we’re _wanted_ ,” Diego said, folding his arms and leaning back in the chair. “Plus, Luther’s doing enough. If I have to ask him for one more thing I’m going to lose it. I’m choking on my pride every day as it is.”

“There is nothing wrong with needing or asking for help, Diego,” Agnes said, but there was a timidness to her voice that suggested she was afraid to set Diego off. That was his cue to end this conversation, because just hearing the shift in her tone tipped his mood from somber sympathy back to irritation. 

“I’m going to go see if he needs anything,” Diego said crisply, standing and walking out of the kitchen without looking at her face. He didn’t want to know what she was thinking about him anymore.

His heart sank again the moment he walked in the bedroom and he saw Klaus lying in a miserable heap under the blankets. He knew Klaus couldn’t appreciate it at the moment, but Diego just really wanted to hug him. He was going to do it anyway, because he wanted Klaus to know he was _there,_ in more ways than just physically.

“Nooo,” Klaus whined as Diego crawled on the bed and lifted the covers off of him. Diego ignored him and spooned up behind him, then scooped him around the ribs and dragged him close. Klaus whispered, “What are you doing?”

“I’m holding you, obviously,” Diego whispered back, then nuzzled his face into the soft hair at the nape of Klaus’ neck, his favorite place for his face to be. Klaus didn’t respond, but Diego heard his stomach grumble quietly. “Can I get you something to eat?”

“No, thanks.”

“What about a drink?”

“No.”

“Want me to read to you?”

“No.”

“Want me to go find Twinkie and bring him to you?”

“... No.”

“Okay,” Diego said, giving Klaus a squeeze and kissing the back of his head before snuggling back in. He wasn’t the type to lay around in bed all day, but if that’s all Klaus could do, he would lie there with him as long as he needed. It took Klaus another hour before he found the will to say something else besides ‘no.’

“You don’t have to stay in here,” Klaus said, his voice tired in spite of having slept for over 14 hours. Diego had started to doze a bit, so he almost missed it. 

“I want to, though,” Diego said.

“No you don’t.”

“I want to be with you, and this is where you are. So, yes, I do,” Diego said, and saying that out loud made his throat tighten with emotion. He heard Klaus’ breath hitch softly as he inhaled, giving away the fact that he was emotional, too.

“I’m sorry,” Klaus whispered.

“You have nothing to be sorry about.”

“I tricked you into caring about me.”

“ _What?_ ” Diego said, pushing himself up on his elbow to look down at the side of Klaus’ face. His eyes were closed, but Diego could still see tears wetting his lashes. “Klaus, you didn’t trick me into anything. Whatever your brain is telling you, it’s a liar right now. I really do want to be here with you.”

“You shouldn’t, I’m not worth it,” Klaus said, and Diego wished he could shake him just a little. 

“Why don’t you let me decide that for myself?”

“You can’t make an informed decision if you don’t know how shitty I really am.”

“So inform me, what makes you feel shitty?” Diego said, because he was genuinely curious, and also because maybe Klaus talking about it would make him feel better. 

Diego was ready to defend Klaus against any negative opinion he had against himself, but he couldn’t say that he wasn’t also… kind of scared of what Klaus might say. They had both purposely avoided talking about their pasts much, with the exception of a few things, and all of Klaus’ anecdotes about the times he did crazy things with his friends. Klaus could still have a whole laundry list of fucked up things he’s never told Diego, though. Still, he wanted to know, because nothing he could say would make Diego second guess how he felt about the Klaus he knows in the present. And really, what could be worse than being involved in an extremely shady prostitution ring? Even that Diego could excuse based on the rest of Klaus’ story that he knew about.

Klaus wasn’t responding, though. Maybe asking him to talk about it made things worse? Diego had no idea how to handle this sort of thing. He barely ever talked about his own feelings let alone someone else’s, especially someone in such a delicate state of mind. He wished there was something he could say or do to lift Klaus out of the dark, but he knew better than to think it would be that easy. All the cute kisses, flower crowns and sincere compliments in the world couldn’t fill a void made by a mental illness like this.

“You don’t have to tell me, but just know that I’m not going anywhere,” Diego said. He kissed Klaus’ shoulder and then settled back down, ready to be in this for as long as it took for Klaus to crawl out of this pit.

One hour, two hours, five hours - The most Klaus had done was get up to pee, find and stick on one of the nicotine patches that Hazel left for him, and then crawl back into bed. Diego had laid with him the whole time, but he’d gotten up to go get Klaus a snack and missed the brief moment he’d gotten up. Diego only knew those things happened because he could hear the toilet running, and the patch package was torn open and left on the dresser.

“Hey, I know you don’t want it, but I brought you a snack, anyway,” Diego said, then set the package of crackers and glass of water on the side table. He wished it was on Klaus’ side of the bed instead of his own, but it would have to work for now. “Do you care if I turn the light on?”

“Uhnhmn,” Klaus grumbled, and Diego took that to mean ‘no,’ and turned it on. 

The sun hadn’t quite set yet, but it was still getting too dark to see in there. He wanted to read, and he couldn’t do that without a light source. He picked up The Wizard of Oz from the top of the dresser, the last book he’d picked out from Agnes’ bookshelf. Diego normally preferred non-fiction, but he knew Klaus didn’t care as much to listen to prose-free books that didn’t sound pretty and lyrical.

Once he settled on the bed, he didn’t ask if Klaus wanted to hear it, he just started reading from the beginning. Klaus didn’t react, but he didn’t tell Diego to stop either, so maybe that was something. He was getting more comfortable reading out loud than he had been the first time Klaus asked, but it was still a little awkward. So far Diego was more than happy to push himself out of his comfort zone for Klaus, though, especially for something that may help him feel better. 

“Did you know this book is Populist propaganda?” Klaus interrupted, an hour later. Diego stopped mid-sentence and stared down at the heap of blankets where he knew Klaus’ head was. He wasn’t even sure Klaus was awake until now, let alone listening. 

“Uh- no, I didn’t know that, but please enlighten me,” Diego said, holding a finger between the pages where he stopped and shut the book. He hoped Klaus was willing to talk, because this is a conversation he could sink his teeth into. Historical propaganda theories about classic literature? He’s all ears. 

“I had to write a paper on it once,” Klaus said from under the covers. “It’s _allegedly_ a political allegory about Midwestern agricultural and lumber industries and their workers suffering under economic deflation in the turn of the century, because of the Eastern government capitalists using the gold standard instead of silver for currency. I can’t really remember all the details. I just remember the scarecrow is supposed to represent the farmers, the tin man is supposed to represent lumber workers and the lion is supposed to represent a cowardly politician - can’t remember the name, though. So they follow the gold brick road with the silver slippers to meet the Wizard in the Eastern capitalist city to plead their case about using silver. Or something like that. It was over a decade ago and I’ve done a shitload of drugs between now and then, so I don’t remember all of it. But it was one of the only papers I got an ‘A’ on because I plagiarized a bunch of junk from an article I found in the library.”

“Why didn’t you just use the article as a reference and cite your source?” Diego asked, but to be honest, he’d done his fair share of lifting certain facts from books without sourcing them in school, too.

“Because I just wanted it to be done and out of my face. I had better things to do than learn how to write a works cited page. When the fuck would I ever use that skill in my future otherwise?” Klaus said, and Diego thought he could detect a little bit of that spark he loved about him. Maybe he was starting to feel better, but Diego didn’t want to get his hopes up. “Oh, also, no midget hanged themselves on the set of the movie, that’s a myth.”

“Wait, what? Why did people think that?” Diego asked, his thoughts completely derailed by that last part. 

“Because if you watch closely it looks like a body swinging from a tree by a rope in the background of one of the shots, _supposedly._ Legend is that one of the munchkin actors committed suicide, but there are no records of any death on set. I’ve tried to find it, paused a hundred different frames, but I’ve never even seen the body, just a random bird. People love a good macabre scandal, though, so the rumor spread,” Klaus explained, then made a noise of disgust. “Ugh, my breath is so smelly under here when I’m talking this much.”

“You should probably brush your teeth, then,” Diego said.

“Just keep reading,” Klaus said, but he did pull the blanket down so most of his face was uncovered and he could freely breathe his stank breath out into the open. Well, at least it was a start.

So Diego did as he was told, reading for another hour before he realized Klaus was sound asleep again. It was dark outside, Diego was kind of starving, and he didn’t see Klaus leaving bed before the end of the day. He decided he could leave for a few minutes to go grab a couple slices of lunch meat or something. Maybe when he left Klaus would get enough gumption to get up again, hopefully to eat the snack Diego left for him. The rest of the night was probably shot, but Diego still had hope that tomorrow would be a better day. Klaus was strong and had gotten through some really troubling things, he could get through this, too. 

Agnes wasn’t in the living room on the way to the kitchen, so Diego assumed she must be getting her pajamas on or something. He helped himself to some sliced ham on a piece of bread that he folded in half. It wasn’t an ideal dinner, but Agnes had made chili earlier, and he didn’t feel like having heartburn for the rest of the evening. He leaned his elbows down on the counter top while he chewed his meager meal, staring blankly off into the dining room. His thoughts were mostly of Klaus, but some visual input interrupted his train of thought as his eyes landed on the laundry room. He suddenly remembered the basement, and of course the traumatic experience of finding the funeral program, but also _the boxes._ Oh right, he meant to investigate those. Plus, they were probably still spilled all over from when he and Klaus got the jars, and he didn’t want to leave Agnes that kind of mess.

No time like the present, he thought. Klaus was most likely knocked out for at least a couple hours, Agnes wasn’t around to question him, why not indulge in some curiosity? He brushed the crumbs off the counter into his hand, dropped them in the trash and headed toward the basement stairs. He grabbed a flashlight from the laundry room, and even though he knew he wasn’t going to find anything incriminating against Luther like he’d hoped, his heart was still starting to beat faster at just the possibility. Well that, and also last time he’d gone down these basement steps he’d been emotionally assaulted and traumatized by what he’d found. He hoped Agnes never asked him for that funeral program back, because she wasn’t getting it. It was his now. Why should she still have a picture of his mother when he didn’t?

At the bottom of the stairs Diego clicked on the only light in the bigger room, then walked to the smaller room where he had found the jars. The flashlight beam was dim in the dark room, but he could still easily make out the mess of boxes and spilled papers he had left there. Once he knelt down in the middle of the mess he asked himself _do I really want to do this?_ The answer was yes, he had to know what this was all about. Plus, he would feel a lot better about meeting Luther if he had some dirt to throw back in his face when he started his condescending bullshit. 

The first thing on the floor that caught his eye was a handwritten letter on a piece of lined paper. It was a very short letter from Luther’s father to Judd Rofa, who Diego assumed had to be Agnes’ husband, thanking him for closing some real estate deal in Nebraska. Diego read the name “ROFA” in thick black sharpie scribbled on the front of every box, so he figured these boxes must actually belong to Agnes’ husband. Maybe from clearing his office after he died? Diego didn’t know or care, he just hoped there was something interesting in them.

Along with several letters from Reginald, there were also tons and _tons_ of receipts and invoices, various company memos, and folders filled with typewriter ramblings by Mr. Rofa, but they were in shorthand, which made them difficult to figure out. Diego read page after page full of the most boring real estate and business jargon, and it pissed him off greatly that he couldn’t understand a lot of it. That, and… he couldn’t find anything _incriminating,_ necessarily. He knew it was his lack of knowledge about the subject keeping him from finding anything suspicious more than lack of actual evidence, he was sure of it.

Once he finished cleaning up all the boxes he’d disturbed the other day, he decided to check a few more on the other side of the room. He found plenty more of the same sort of information he couldn’t understand before, but he also found a whole box of newspaper clippings of articles about Hargreeves’ company expansion and climbing success. Diego scanned some of the articles, all praise about what an innovative, robust, thriving business it was, how it was changing people’s lives to have affordable access to home electronics and advanced technology that they couldn’t before, another article about how a scientist working in one of Hargreeves’ laboratories made a scientific discovery that landed her a job with NASA. Wonderful, Diego couldn’t even pretend to care about that shit. 

He was just about to give up the search when he decided one more box couldn’t hurt, he hadn’t been gone that long and he still hadn’t found anything that would help him with defending himself against Luther. The last box he chose, he pulled it from the bottom of a stack, and it was full of more newspaper articles - except these ones weren’t complimentary. They were from smaller newspapers, ones with real anti-authority sounding names like _‘Rebel Yell’_ out of Detroit and _‘The Community Manifesto’_ out of Chicago. They accused the company of ‘gentrification’ - a word that Diego had never heard in his life, and of underpaying employees, and of buying out or pushing out all the Mom and Pop type businesses that sold the same products for less. Basically, it painted the business as a money hungry, capitalist nightmare. That wasn’t necessarily shocking, little hippie news sources like those accused every successful company with more than a handful of locations of being up to those things, whether they were or they weren’t. Plus, many of these articles were written over a decade ago - who knew if any of that was even still true. 

What a disappointment. Diego had been hoping for a much juicier bit of information, like… money laundering or insurance fraud or something _actually_ illegal. He knew that Reginald was not running a legit operation; Diego had met several people in prison that had been burned by him in the past - but there was no proof. Nothing but hearsay and rumors. A dead end. 

As Diego swallowed his defeat and made his way back to the bedroom, he was too lost in thought to even register Agnes sitting in her chair while he walked through the living room. He was busy wondering if he’d kept looking, would he find anything deeper? Maybe Mr. Rofa hadn’t been involved in the shadier aspects of the company, so that’s why he didn’t appear to have anything interesting? Maybe Agnes or Luther or even Reginald had that stuff burned or shredded, but if that was the case, why keep the rest of the useless stuff? Maybe they were all too smart to leave a paper trail for the more underhanded business dealings? Maybe there were more boxes in the other rooms in the bas-

“Did you get anything to eat?” Agnes asked, making Diego jump so hard his feet left the floor for a second. She looked started by him being startled, then she laughed. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Are you alright?”

“Uh, yeah, I’m fine. I had a sandwich, thank you,” he said, suddenly feeling guilty for sticking his nose where it didn’t belong now that he was looking Agnes in the face. She trusted him. 

Did she know what he’d been doing down there? Did she care? Maybe she expected it and moved anything that could make her husband look bad? She already anticipated Klaus snooping in her stuff for pills, maybe she expected Diego to go snooping for ways to make Luther look bad? Was she that insightful, or was he being a little crazy here?

“Alright, good. How is Klaus? Any change?” she asked, either not noticing or not acknowledging that Diego was looking shifty and ashamed. 

“Not really. I think he will be better by tomorrow, hopefully,” he said, inching his way down the hall away from her as slowly as possible without seeming rude. “Okay, I think I’m just going to turn in with him for the night.”

“Okay, tell him I said goodnight, guys. I was thinking about making french toast with caramelized cinnamon apples on top in the morning. Do you think he would like that?” Agnes asked, having to turn in her chair to see Diego now, as he was almost to the bedroom door. 

“That sounds great, I’ll let him know,” Diego said, then quickly added a ‘goodnight’ before he slipped into the bedroom and shut the door behind himself. 

He tried to contain his sigh when he saw Klaus exactly as he left him, curled up in a ball and facing away from him. It chased all his thoughts about Luther’s corruption out of his head, and all he could feel was helpless again. He couldn’t fix this in any conceivable way. All he could do was wait, and to be honest he was getting a little tired of sitting on his hands and waiting for things, but he would just have to suck it up. The last thing Klaus needed was Diego making him feel any worse by being impatient. He would never let that happen, so he swallowed all his selfish feelings and crawled back into bed behind Klaus. 

Diego was not a spiritual man, but before he finally fell asleep that night, he may have said a silent prayer for Klaus to anyone listening. Just in case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I know. I know. It was a very short chapter comparatively, but that's kind of on purpose. But!!!! Next week's chapter is another long one AND I'll be posting it early!!! (since TUA season 2 will be airing like exactly the same time as I normally post) 
> 
> \- SO expect the next chapter very early AM on 7/30! At least you will have to wait one less day for this week. And it's another tooth-rotting fluff chapter :D
> 
> \- ALSOOOOO by next week I think the art for this book will be done! You guys are going to lose your god damn minds about how sweet and pretty it is ♥♥♥


	17. The Hierophant: Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** SURPRISE! It's even earlier than I said it would be, because I'll be out of town tomorrow with questionable phone service, so you just get it now ^_^
> 
> ** little heads up: sexual abuse mention and ptsd symptom stuff in this chapter

_** September 20th, 2015, 3:31pm ** _

It had taken Klaus three days to bounce back to where he could get out of bed and be a mostly-functioning person again, and that morning he seemed to be even better. He had joined Diego and Agnes for breakfast, he’d taken a bath, and now he was helping Agnes get ready for a ‘big date.’ As much as Diego hated the thought of abandoning Klaus when he was down, the day before he had stopped sitting in bed with him. He had no choice, his body was just not built to lie around like that, and he had risked going for a run. By the time he got back Klaus hadn’t even noticed he had left, because Diego had timed his run right around the time he’d noticed Klaus slept hardest in the afternoon. It was easy to let yourself fall down the rabbit hole of depression too when you spend days watching someone else be miserable, so Diego was a tiny bit selfishly glad Klaus was feeling better. 

Hopefully by the end of the evening Klaus would be in an even better mood, because they were going to have the house to themselves. Hazel was taking Agnes somewhere for the night, and she wouldn’t be home until the middle of the next day. It was a wonderful break that Diego needed so, so much. Sure, they could go outside and be away from Agnes, but it wasn’t the same as just genuinely getting to spend alone time with Klaus. 

Diego was busy lying on the couch in the sunroom, thinking about what he was going to make for a two person dinner that night when he could hear Agnes and Klaus come into the kitchen. Apparently they had finished getting her all dolled up. Diego thought Klaus was a saint for boosting her confidence the way he did. Normally he wouldn’t care about that sort of thing, but Diego couldn’t help but be a little curious what she looked like when she wasn’t in her usual garden-ready attire or pajamas.

For the first time ever, the window looking into the kitchen from the sunroom was useful, so Diego pushed himself up on his palms to look inside. Except his eyes weren’t caught by Agnes in red velvet, they landed on Klaus in white and yellow floral print. He was wearing one of Agnes’ cotton sun dresses, probably knee-length on her but the hem landed mid-thigh on Klaus, and it had slim, off the shoulder sleeves that showcased his long, pretty neck and collar bones. 

Diego let out a puff of air and dropped back down on the couch, squeezing his eyes shut. Just at a glance he knew Klaus was going to kill him before the end of the night in that dress. He could already feel his heart rate picking up and he rolled his eyes as he opened them again. He never in his life thought he would have to ask himself if Klaus in short skirts was a… _special interest_ , but there was no mistaking, it definitely stirred up feelings he wasn’t used to. Thankfully he hadn’t had quite the same severity of reaction as he did the first time he saw Klaus in a skirt in the thrift store, though. He hoped maybe that meant he was getting a better handle on that issue, at least enough to not be a freak as soon as Klaus walked out there. He heard the door opening and bolted into a standing position, just in case he had to leave and get a grip.

“Look how pretty!,” Klaus said, bursting into the sunroom and dragging Agnes behind him by the hand.

Diego wanted to look at her, he really did, but he could barely tear his eyes away from Klaus. The flowy sundress, the bare feet, the scraped knee that had scabbed over, his curls kind of wild - he looked the way playing outside all summer felt. He looked so cute that Diego wanted to scoop him up in a hug and snuggle into his bare shoulder and never let go. 

Except that would be rude, so he tore his eyes away from Klaus long enough to appreciate how nice Agnes looked for her date. Where Klaus looked free and casual, Agnes looked polished and elegant. Her shin-length, fitted, red velvet dress flattered her well, and Klaus had helped her put her blonde hair up in some elaborate way with pins that Diego couldn’t understand for the life of him. He also noticed she was wearing some gold jewelry, nylons and heeled shoes, which he’d never seen her wear any of those things before. 

“Very fancy, you guys must be going somewhere nice,” Diego said politely.

“Thank you, honey,” Agnes said. She reached to tuck her hair behind her ear like she usually did when she was flattered, but when she remembered it was tied up she nervously touched her gold earring instead. “I actually don’t know where he’s taking me, but he said to expect the best, so I figured I better pull out all the stops.”

“I’m so excited for you! Maybe he’s taking you to the opera or something, or to Vegas! That’s around here, right?” Klaus asked, and Diego didn’t have the heart to tell him that his geography was a little off. They were very far from Vegas, like 13 hours. 

“It’s not, but I’m sure wherever it is, it will be nicer than the Monument diner,” Agnes said, then changed tracks. “Do you guys want some music? I kind of feel like hearing some music to get in the mood.”

“Hell yes, let’s kick off the evening with something good,” Klaus said. 

Diego stepped back several paces, making room for Agnes and Klaus to crowd around the record player and the shelf of records underneath. His ass was practically against the desk at the far end of the room now, so he decided to walk around it and sit in the chair. He wanted no part of picking music, he was too busy having a mini crisis about how he was going to handle the rest of the evening with Klaus looking like _that_. 

“Oh, this was Luther’s favorite!” Agnes said, immediately souring Diego’s train of thought.

“That’s amazing, at least Luther has good taste,” Klaus said as Agnes pulled one of the records off the shelf and set it on the record player. Before she got a chance to drop the needle, a horn in the driveway sounded. 

“Hazel must be here already. Sorry, I’ll have to take a raincheck on the dance party,” Agnes said, handing Klaus the record sleeve and nervously feeling her hairdo again. Diego stifled a scoff and wondered what kind of guy picked up his woman for a fancy date and didn’t come to the front door. He was no expert on dating but that seemed pretty lame.

“I hope you have the best date night!” Klaus said, giving Agnes a quick, one armed hug. 

“Same to you, honey,” she said, reaching up to pat his cheek before swooping out of the sunroom as fast as she could. 

Diego had only been slightly paying attention, but it sounded like Agnes insinuated that he and Klaus were having a date night, too. Was this a date? Was he supposed to be prepared for something special? Shit, he’d never been on a date before.

“God, I love her,” Klaus said, smiling fondly after her. 

Diego was still fretting about this being a date when Klaus walked back to the record player and set the needle to the vinyl. Once the song started and Klaus cranked the volume, Diego’s thoughts were immediately derailed, because _this_ was Luther’s favorite song? _I Think We’re Alone Now_ blasted out of the speakers with all it’s blatant 80s pop charm. He laughed out loud, then leaned back in the desk chair and laughed even more as he imagined Luther jamming to this like it was the best song he’d ever heard.

“What? Don’t like Tiffany?” Klaus asked, his face lighting up from seeing Diego laughing so unabashedly.

“I just can’t believe this is Luther’s favorite. What a fuckin’ dork,” Diego said, getting a handle on his amusement and wiping a hand down his face.

“Then I’m a dork too, because I love this song,” Klaus said, and then Diego was immediately sobered because Klaus started to _dance._

His first instinct was to look away and blush, but that wasn’t what he wanted to do, so he resisted. He kept his eyes on Klaus, watching him twirl around barely on beat, arms in the air, just living in the moment. How could a person be so adorable? Diego couldn’t help but smile warmly as Klaus really got into it, and he couldn’t pretend like his own stupid foot wasn’t also tapping along under the desk. And then Klaus’ eyes met his and he beckoned him over.

“Dance with me!” Klaus said. Diego’s smile fell and he shook his head.

“No, I don’t dance,” he said, his anxiety making all his muscles stiffen to stop him from moving whatsoever. Klaus rolled his eyes, then bent to pick up the cat’s brush left next to the couch.

“It’s just me, you don’t have to be embarrassed,” he said, then he started lip-synching into the brush like a microphone with exaggeration, no shame whatsoever. He moved closer to the desk, bending over it and leaning on his palm as he pretended to serenade Diego. “C’mon! Get up!”

“Klaus, no,” Diego said, finally blushing and looking away. Klaus wasn’t going to accept that, and Diego couldn’t say he was surprised.

_We’re running just as fast as we can, holding on to one another’s hand._

He _was_ surprised when Klaus set the brush down and hiked a knee up on the desk. NopeNopeNopeNope. Too far, Diego couldn’t handle Klaus crawling across the desk like that. He shot up from the chair, making Klaus halt and put both feet back on the floor and grin triumphantly. 

“Fine, I’ll dance, just don’t do that,” Diego said, moving around the desk and wrapping his arms around Klaus’ ribs. Except Klaus was already dancing again, making it hard to hold him, and also hard to not fall in step.

_I think we’re alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound._

“I knew you could do it,” Klaus said, reaching up to take Diego’s hands from his ribs and hold them instead. 

Diego hated the dancing part, but he liked holding Klaus’ hands and watching him move. When he lifted one of Diego’s hands above their heads and let go of the other one, Diego was confused. Then Klaus twirled under Diego’s arm with a little difficulty because he was so tall, but it made him giggle and fall into Diego’s chest. Too fucking cute, Diego couldn’t stop himself from cupping Klaus’ cheeks and pulling his face close enough to kiss. That finally made Klaus stop moving his body like a windsock in a tornado; he closed his eyes and hummed with content against Diego’s lips. When they both pulled back Diego stared into Klaus’ sparkling, mischievous eyes and he was reminded of the earlier question that he’d been hung up on.

“Is this a date?” he asked, just as the song was fading out. Klaus shrugged. 

“”Do you want it to be a date?” he asked, wrapping his arms around Diego’s waist and leaning his weight against him, chest to chest.

“I’ve never been on a date before,” Diego admitted. He rested his arms around Klaus’ and clasped his hands behind his back. 

“Me either,” Klaus said, and Diego did a double-take.

“Really?” he said, trying not to frown but that was the most confusing thing Klaus had said in a while. “Not even with Dave?”

“No. We had to keep our involvement kind of hush hush, so even if we went somewhere together it wasn’t like, a couple thing,” Klaus said, his eyes glazing over a bit as he thought back to his time with Dave. “Most romantic thing we ever did was take his dad’s car to McDonalds at 2am for milkshakes one night, and makeout in the driveway when we got back.”

“Okay, then it’s a date. But it’s hardly romantic here, we’ve been living here for weeks now,” Diego said, but Klaus laid his head on Diego’s shoulder and tightened his arms around him. 

“It’s already perfect, don’t stress,” he said quietly, making Diego’s heart ache in the best way. The song had changed to a slow, cheesy 80s ballad by the same singer, but it was perfect for the slow, swaying thing they were doing while Diego held on to him. After a few minutes Klaus turned his head so his nose was against Diego’s neck, and he spoke softly, “Do you like it?”

“What? Dancing? No, but I like this,” Diego said as he held Klaus close. He felt a little puff of laughter on his neck.

“No, the dress,” Klaus said. Diego could hear the insecurity he was feeling about it even though he seemed plenty confident on the outside, or maybe he could _sense_ it more than hear it. Is this what Klaus felt when he could intuitively just _tell_ how people were feeling?

“I do, I can barely take my eyes off you,” Diego admitted.

“I know it’s a little old lady-ish but I got tired of wearing your sweatpants,” Klaus said, making Diego nod vigorously.

“Shit, me too. I can not wait to get some jeans. I would even wear fucking khakis right now,” Diego said. If he wore sweatpants for much longer he was going to turn into a shapeless puddle of pudding. He tried not to complain about the bag of shit he left in the motel in Montana, because he knew the things Klaus left were much more important and sentimental, but _damn_ did he miss his jeans and jacket. 

“I told Agnes, by the way,” Klaus said quietly.

“Told her what?”

“About- about me, you know, the gender fluidity thing,” he said, his breath tickling Diego’s neck. “I thought she wouldn’t understand, and I’m not sure she really does, but she was very supportive either way.” 

“See, I told you she would respect your wishes if you explained it to her,” Diego said, petting down Klaus’ back with both hands.

“Well, I haven’t gotten to the part about not wanting to be pigeonholed as just ‘a man’ yet, but I will,” Klaus said, then picked his head up to look in Diego’s eyes. “She said ‘ _you’re standing in my closet in a dress, I figured it was something like that._ ’ - which I guess is a pretty solid giveaway. But I don’t think she would understand if I tried to explain that it’s _more_ than just like, wearing skirts and makeup sometimes, you know? At the same time though, I can’t expect her to understand when I can’t put my finger on exactly how I feel either.”

“Maybe you don’t need to put a definite label on it, since that seems to be just another restrictive pigeonhole that you’re not fond of. People can still respect the parts that you are sure of when you tell them,” Diego said, but he wasn’t sure if he was saying the right things. Of course he accepted Klaus completely regardless of how he identified, but he was still very in the dark about these kinds of things in general. Klaus smiled and leaned forward for a quick kiss.

“It’s so sweet how dedicated you are to making people respect me. Unnecessary, but sweet,” Klaus said. Diego’s eyebrows knitted and he gave Klaus a hard stare. 

“It is necessary, because you let people insult you and degrade you when they don’t have the right to do that. I just want you to stand up for yourself,” Diego said, but the song changed to something more energetic and he could tell he’d already lost Klaus’ attention to the beat.

Klaus danced for a few more songs, periodically making Diego get up from where he was leaning against the desk to dance with him. Diego decided he didn’t hate dancing as much as he thought, or at least not as much as he did before Klaus was the one he got to dance with. That is, until Klaus decided to turn around and dance with his back up against Diego, his ass pressed back against Diego’s crotch. Nooo way, definitely not, not in that dress, maybe not ever. He had to grab Klaus’ hips and steer him in a different direction. He hated basically being the chaperone at the dance splitting up the horny teenagers, but he would hate for this evening to already be ruined by a panic attack _way_ more.

“I’m going to go see if any of those green peppers are ready to be picked, for dinner,” Diego said, backing up toward the screen door. 

“What? _Now?_ ” Klaus asked, turning to watch Diego with his hand on the screen door handle, disappointment written all over his face. But then he took one glance at Diego’s flushed cheeks and inability to make eye contact and he figured it out all by himself. “Okay, I’ll be out there in a sec, I’m going to go grab my smokes first.”

“Okay,” Diego said, slipping out of the door and breathing in a deep, calming breath of cool air. 

Late September had brought about a dry chill in the air, and Diego welcomed it gratefully. He could handle hot weather, but he prefered the cool crispness of autumn and early winter. It made him miss his jacket even more, though. The flowers in the garden were starting to wither around the edges, the sunflowers were starting to drop their seeds, but everything in the greenhouse was still hearty and green. Most of the plants in the greenhouse were vegetables and herbs, but there was a whole row of flowers on a long table by the front wall, so they could be seen from the outside. 

Diego had a romantic thought, and then immediately felt stupid, but… maybe… If this was a date, would it be too much for him to put a flower or two on the table? Like, would that be so cheesy that even Klaus would laugh at him? Fuck, Diego had no idea, he’d never done this. He decided that it couldn’t hurt to pick a couple and at least take them up to the house. He could decide later. There were maroon and yellow mums but those were ugly, and weird short, frosty-white plants with no blossoms that he couldn’t identify, and some big gerbera daisies. He picked a yellow one and an orange one with the longest stems before he lost his nerve, and then headed off to find the vegetables.

By the time Diego had returned to the house carrying an armload of yellow and green peppers he realized that Klaus never followed him outside. He was completely alone in the house, and Diego hated himself for feeling immediately suspicious, but it wasn’t like it would be far-fetched for Klaus to be doing something he shouldn’t be. Once inside, Diego set the two flowers and the peppers on the counter and started looking for Klaus. He could immediately see he wasn’t in the kitchen, dining room or living room, which made him even more suspicious. Instead of calling out, Diego decided to be sneaky about it and check the bedrooms silently. Klaus wasn’t in either of the rooms, or the bathrooms either. Now Diego was really going to freak out. 

“Klaus!” he called as he left Agnes’ bedroom, jogging down the hallway to go check the front yard. 

“Yeah?” Klaus called, and Diego had never felt more dumb in his life.

As he skidded into the living room he saw Klaus on the floor in front of the couch, stomach down with his face nuzzling in Twinkie’s soft, white belly fur. Diego had bypassed the living room entirely, since Klaus had been hidden by the couch from view of the kitchen. He was just lying there snuggling the cat, completely innocent, and yet Diego had assumed the worst. Again. Maybe it was time to start giving him the benefit of the doubt.

“I was going to come out but he was lying here on his back all adorable and I just had to get in on this,” Klaus said, then kissed the top of one of Twinkie’s front paws. “Pink beans.”

“D-do you like stuffed peppers?” Diego asked, stumbling over the question a little as he tried to shake off the shame and anxiety of his incorrect assumption.

“Sure, you know I’ll eat basically anything,” Klaus said, giving Twinkie a good, final face scritch before pushing himself up to his knees. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why?” Diego asked, even though Klaus could probably just _sense_ the panic he’d been feeling moments before that. And really, he wasn’t sure he was okay. Thinking Klaus left him for even a few seconds felt more traumatic than it probably should. Was that even healthy?

“You just looked… nevermind. Did you need help?” Klaus asked as he got to his feet.

“Nope, just company,” Diego said, and he just really wanted to hug Klaus right that moment. As soon as Klaus nodded and walked around the couch toward the kitchen Diego caught his elbow. “Wait.”

“Hmm?” Klaus said, and then let himself be pulled into a hug with Diego’s arms around his waist. He melted against Diego easily, scratching his nails soothingly along Diego’s shoulders. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes. I just didn’t know where you were and it freaked me out for a second,” Diego admitted. 

Why did he admit that? Why did he have no filter around Klaus? All his private thoughts and feelings just… spilled out whenever Klaus pressed him for even a second, especially when he was already feeling vulnerable. Grace hadn’t even been able to get him to talk about his feelings that easily once he wasn’t a little kid anymore, so Klaus must really be some kind of magical. 

“Are you still afraid I’m going to leave?” Klaus asked, pulling back to look at Diego’s face.

“I’m sorry, I don’t want you to think I don’t trust you or anything, I do. I just… I know you’re still recovering and-”

“Diego, I promised to tell you when I’m struggling, and I have every time since Agnes caught me slipping,” Klaus said, his tone and body language reading more like reassurance than hurt or offense. “I swear I’m not leaving, not for pills or anything else.”

“I know, I’m sorry,” Diego said, then broke their locked gaze before he got choked up or something lame. This was a date, right? They were supposed to be happy and having fun. Cooking would help. “Alright, go wash your cat hands before you go in the kitchen.”

“Cat hands!” Klaus said with a snort. And just like that, Diego felt his anxiety neutralize with Klaus’ adorable amused smirk.

As soon as Diego walked in the kitchen he saw the flowers again, and decided he didn’t care if it was too cheesy. He was going to put them on the table, take the risk. There were several glass vases under the sink, so he filled the smallest one with a little water and the flowers. He had been here long enough to know that Agnes kept table cloths in the china hutch drawer in the dining room, so he picked out a fresh white one, folded it in half and brought it back to the small kitchen table. Once he set it over the glass top, he set the flowers toward the back middle, then admired how nice it looked for a moment too long.

“Oh damn, we are both so lame. Look,” Klaus said, making Diego blush, but he turned to look at Klaus in the archway, anyway. Klaus was smirking, holding a handful of white tea light candles he must have found in the bathroom. He chuckled and walked over to the table, then set two candles on both sides of the flower vase.

“Is it bad to be this kind of lame?” Diego asked, hoping he didn’t sound as self-conscious as he felt. 

“No. I definitely like it when it’s with you,” Klaus said, leaning further over the table to sniff the flowers. Diego knew they didn’t smell good, but it still made Klaus smile.

“Me too,” Diego said as he rubbed the back of his neck, still feeling awkward. He cleared his throat and tried to shake it off. “Okay, food time.”

Dinner prep took some time, but once Diego got everything in the oven it was only going to take another 25 minutes or less. Klaus sat on the counter behind Diego while he worked, something that had become routine by this point. Except this time it was a lot more distracting because of the skirt situation, but Diego was doing his best to not stare. 

While Diego set the table Klaus babbled about a field trip he took in high school where he got suspended for wandering off from his group.

“You wandered off downtown by yourself?” Diego asked, not that that was out of character for Klaus in the slightest.

“I wasn’t by myself. I met a guy in the museum that offered to buy me alcohol so I followed him to the liquor store a couple blocks away,” Klaus said, watching Diego set up silverware on the table over his shoulder.

“Do you have any sense of self preservation whatsoever?” Diego asked, just as stunned by this story as every other death defying story that Klaus told him. He shouldn’t be surprised at this point, whatever the most outrageous possibility was in any given situation, that’s what Klaus would be doing. 

“He didn’t hurt me. He just bought me a pint of schnapps and a pack of Newports,” Klaus said with a shrug.

“And?” Diego asked, walking back around the other side of the counter in front of Klaus.

“And what? That was it,” Klaus said, but Diego knew he was lying. No strange adult man does a teenager a favor like that just _because_. He watched Klaus get visibly uncomfortable, clearly regretting bringing that part up at all. “I just went back to the museum drunk as fuck and the teacher could tell.”

“Well, you’re lucky you were just suspended and not murdered and thrown in a dumpster,” Diego said, trying his hardest to not sound like a disappointed parent.

“I have nine lives, I would have been fine,” Klaus said, waving his hand dismissively. 

“I think you have more than nine. You’ve told me at least that many stories where you should have died.”

“Maybe I’m immortal. That would be dope,” Klaus said, scratching his chin hairs. 

“Except then you would watch everyone you love die, over and over again,” Diego said. Klaus gave him a sad look.

“Well, everyone I love is dead or left me already, anyway,” he said. Aw fuck, why did Klaus have to take it there? This was just supposed to be a hypothetical discussion!

Diego’s first instinct was to say ‘not everyone,’ meaning himself, but he realized how fucking crazy that would sound. Of course Klaus didn’t love him, that would be a ridiculous assumption. Or would it? How was Diego supposed to know? It’s not like he’d ever been in love… but maybe _that_ wasn’t true either. He bit the inside of his lip to distract himself from that train of thought. Too terrifying. They were supposed to be having _fun._

“I don’t think that will be true forever,” he said instead, turning to check the time on the stove.

“It must be time soon, huh? This entire kitchen smells like peppery heaven,” Klaus said, ignoring Diego’s sentiment. Maybe he didn't believe anyone would ever love him and stay?

“Uh, yeah, I think so. You can light those candles if you want,” Diego said, instinctively reaching in his pocket for the lighter he kept on him for Klaus. He tossed it over once Klaus hopped down from the counter. 

“Right, because how else would we know it’s a date without the flowers and candlelit ambiance?” Klaus said, giving Diego a wink before heading over to the table. 

Diego should have been focusing on getting the food out of the oven, but he was extremely distracted by watching Klaus light the candles. There was nothing particularly special about it, other than the fact that he just liked to watch Klaus do stuff. When he was done, Klaus stood up and admired the candle flames and flowers with a cute, satisfied smile that Diego wanted to kiss. That would have to wait, though, because he would absolutely hate to burn this meal more than any others. As he turned to get the pan out of the oven he heard Klaus open the back door and go out into the sunroom. Only a few moments later he heard soft, quiet music that he couldn’t identify floating out of the room. Nice.

Once Diego plated the food, he was suddenly nervous to sit down. There was a lot of pressure to make this a really great night, and he had no idea if he could make it happen. Surely he was overthinking, because Klaus was seeming to effortlessly enjoy himself, but Diego couldn’t just relax. He was starting to realize just how invested his heart was in _this_ \- whatever this thing he had going with Klaus was. He wanted everything to be perfect for him, even with their limited resources. 

Klaus sat first, and then he looked over at Diego. “Are you coming?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Diego said, finally setting down the stuffed pepper pan he’d just been mindlessly holding instead of setting on the counter. He walked back over to the table and sat, but immediately started to stand back up. “Do you want a salad? I think we could use a side sala-”

“Diego, it’s already beautiful, just sit,” Klaus said, resting his hand on Diego’s forearm and gently urging him to sit back down. “Are you nervous or something? We’ve eaten like 100 meals together before.”

“Uh- I guess I am,” Diego admitted, staring at his plate instead of Klaus because he was feeling overwhelmed and didn’t know how to handle eye contact right now. Klaus squeezed his forearm slightly, then ran his fingers down Diego’s wrist, turned his hand over and laced their fingers together over Diego’s thigh. 

“Is it because we said it’s a date? Because it definitely doesn’t have to be if it’s freaking you out,” Klaus said, trying to catch Diego’s eyes. “Hey, look at me.”

“I just don’t want to mess this up,” Diego said, forcing himself to look at Klaus. He watched the soft smile on Klaus’ face grow brighter. 

“Not possible,” Klaus said. He picked up their clasped hands and brought it to his lips for a quick kiss on Diego’s knuckles, then let go so he could pick up his fork. “Let’s eat, I’m fuckin’ famished.”

The meal was delicious, but Diego barely registered the flavor. He was too busy watching how amazing Klaus looked in the candlelight, like he was just _made_ for this kind of warm, soft lighting. Then again, he looked pretty in the silvery moonlight, too. And the red and green glow from traffic lights while they rode in the car, and the pale, yellowy beam of streetlights, and the radiant light of the sun - he just looked so great, in every way, and Diego didn’t know how to handle it most of the time. 

Not only did he look amazing, he made Diego feel amazing, too. He was so fucking kind and uplifting and patient; he was easy to laugh with, easy to cry with - something Diego _never_ thought he would find in another person. He spent so much time smiling these last couple weeks that it was easy to be distracted from his usual mental stream of self-loathing and cynicism. Being with him just felt _good_ , it made him want to be alive, which was… something he hadn’t felt in a long time, even when things were shittier than they’d ever been. It could be simplified to ‘Klaus made him _feel_ again.’

But... Diego was so afraid it wouldn’t last once they left his weird, peaceful limbo. All the unknown variables that could interfere once they got to Seattle weighed heavy in the back of Diego’s mind. Luther may not be able to fix Diego’s colossal fuck up as well as he thought, and even if he could get the Feds off Diego’s trail, what then? He’d asked himself this hundreds of times and he never came up with a satisfying answer. They were going to be hunted everywhere. Not to mention Diego was absolutely terrified to take Klaus to a big city so soon after withdrawal, there would be drugs available pretty much anywhere out there. The temptation to run off and get high may be too strong for Klaus to resist when he wasn’t in the middle of nowhere, and Diego couldn’t stay awake 24/7 to watch him like a hawk. 

This could all fall apart so damn easy for so many reasons, but… something about hearing Klaus talk about the future made Diego feel like everything might be _okay_ in the end.

“Hey, where did you go?” Klaus asked, tapping Diego’s knee with his own. Diego blinked a couple times and gave Klaus a raised eyebrow.

“No where, why?” he asked, but he knew full well that he’d been lost in thought, eyes glazed over as he mindlessly ate food and stewed. He was still making this a bad date and he wasn’t even speaking, but then again that was the problem. 

“You just seem like you’re not very present right now. What are you thinking about?” Klaus asked, setting his fork down and wiping his mouth on a napkin. 

“Uh… just the future, I guess,” Diego said, which was mostly the truth, even if it was a vague answer. “Sorry, you have my attention now. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, Diego, stop apologizing. What about the future? Are you just worried about going to Luther’s?” Klaus asked, because of course he could read minds somehow. Diego nodded. “Me too, babe, but it’s going to be okay! We can handle whatever happens, right?”

“How do you know? What if-” Diego said, then swallowed the words and bit his lip. 

“What if, what?”

“What if we _can’t_ handle it? What if I lose you?”

“Listen to me, that’s not going to happen. I’m going to stick with you as long as you’ll let me,” Klaus said, then nudged Diego again and smiled. “I’m the stray cat from outside that you fed once or twice and now I won’t leave your porch.”

"Never been a big fan of cats, but I like you so I guess I can make an exception,” Diego said, trying to force a smile even though he was still feeling too many things inside all at once.

“I can’t understand how you don’t like cats! Like, I know that’s not the takeaway here, but still” Klaus said, immediately distracted. “They are so soft and adorable and- … and you don’t care.”

“About cats? No, but I think it’s cute that you do,” Diego said, remembering Klaus cuddling Twinkie on the floor earlier. He felt his spirits lift ever so slightly as he saw Klaus roll his eyes and blush the way he did whenever Diego called him cute out loud. 

“Aren’t you going to eat?” Klaus asked, eyeballing the majority of Diego’s untouched dinner.

“I’m not that hungry, honestly,” Diego said, and that was true. His mind was full of too many things, eating was the last thing he wanted to do even though it was a good meal. He would just eat leftovers later if he was suddenly in the mood to eat again. 

“Do you wanna go watch a movie instead?” Klaus asked.

“That sounds nice,” Diego said, nodding with more enthusiasm than he meant to. He was just so thrilled that Klaus decided to call the shots and come up with something else to do, because the pressure of figuring out how to make this a good date was like at least 1/3rd of the problem Diego was having. Plus, he could ignore the movie and still sit quietly with his thoughts if he needed to without Klaus noticing and getting unnecessarily worried. “If you’re done, go pick something to watch while I put away the rest of the food. Dishes can totally wait until the morning, though.”

“If you let me pick we’re watching something cheesy, just so you know,” Klaus said, stacking his dirty silverware on the plate to take to the sink. He’d eaten every bit of his food, which made Diego feel better, too.

It didn’t take Diego long to cover the pan of peppers, scrape the dinner dishes and blow out the candles. He’d heard the front door open and for a single instant he panicked, but then he heard Klaus telling Twinkie to come out on the front porch with him, presumably to smoke. Diego sat on the couch while he waited, until he got a whiff of his own breath - ew, peppers were not a good food to eat right before you snuggle. He decided to brush his teeth real quick while Klaus was busy, because Diego knew it would end up with them kissing at some point and he wasn’t going to be the one with smelly breath. He had to chuckle though, because he could see Klaus’ toothbrush was wet, too, so he must have come in here while Diego was cleaning up. At least they both had the same courteous, unspoken thought. 

Klaus was waiting for him when he got back to the living room, sitting in Agnes’ chair, hanging over one arm of it to talk to the birds in their cages. Diego tried not to frown, he thought they were going to sit together, though. They couldn’t cuddle if he was way over there. Diego picked up the remote and flopped on the couch, his back against the arm, left leg out on the cushions, right leg bent off the edge with his foot on the floor. Maybe he was making his lap look inviting on purpose, maybe he just wanted to stretch out - the interpretation was up to Klaus. 

As soon as Klaus stopped talking to the birds he turned around and got up, walked over to the couch and made himself at home between Diego’s legs. Hell yes, just like Diego wanted. He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around Klaus’ ribs, hugging him and pressing his face between Klaus’ shoulders. Maybe he was feeling clingy, what about it?

“Did you miss me in the last five minutes or something?” Klaus asked, chuckling and patting Diego’s arm around his chest.

“No, I just thought you were going to sit over there and I might have been pouting about it,” Diego admitted against his back, making Klaus laugh again.

“I was only sitting there for a minute so you couldn’t, actually,” Klaus said, and Diego felt both stupid and relieved at the same time. At least they both got what they wanted. 

“Here, you pick,” Diego said, finally letting go enough to hand Klaus the remote. 

“If you insist,” Klaus said, but there was zero hesitation when he grabbed the remote from Diego’s hand and turned on the TV. That was fine, because Diego was only here for the snuggling, anyway. He couldn’t care less what was on the TV as long as he got to have the warm fuzzies he felt when Klaus was close to him. “Okay, do you like mockumentary type stuff?”

“I have no idea what that means,” Diego said, squinting at the TV over Klaus’ shoulder. He had no idea how Agnes and Klaus could read the tiny letters of the guide channel from this far back, he must need fucking glasses or something. 

“It means - actually, nevermind, I don’t think you would give a shit about that. What about sports movies? Remember The Titans is… fuck, it’s kind of depressing, actually. Why is everything sad?” Klaus said. 

“I can handle sad stuff, Klaus. I’m not a baby,” he said with no edge to it. He didn’t need to be handled with white gloves, though.

“I know, but that’s not the mood I wanna be in either,” Klaus said, and then Diego felt his ribs expand as he gasped. “Oh damn, do you remember Heath Ledger?”

“Yeah, didn’t he do the gay cowboy thing? That came out like the year before I got locked up,” Diego said. “I never saw it, but I remember the controversy, and then him dying not long after that.”

“Right, that’s him. Okay, well this isn’t that, this is a cheesy 90s movie. But he’s super hot in it, like Patrick was literally one of my first movie-guy crushes. Well, him and Fred Savage, but that was a long time ago and we don’t talk about that,” Klaus said. 

“Fred Savage,” Diego said with a snort of laughter. “I definitely watched Wonder Years back in the day.”

“Who didn’t? Anyway, we’re watching this,” Klaus said, picking the movie. “And it’s conveniently OnDemand so we don’t even have to wait.”

“Sure, whatever that means,” Diego said. Klaus didn’t bother explaining, which was fine because Diego got the gist. Klaus leaned his back against Diego’s chest and settled in, and Diego tried to care about what was on the screen. 

His focus on the movie lasted about 20 minutes. Klaus was right, Heath Ledger was pretty hot being a charming punk-ass, but Diego already had a prettier one of those right in front of him. All he wanted to be doing was kissing Klaus, but this position made that difficult, plus Klaus was hyper-focused on the movie. Diego was going to distract him though, it was killing him to pretend to care about a movie about some dumb high schoolers when he could be kissing Klaus’ neck instead. So he did, dipping his head to drop a kiss on Klaus’ bare shoulder. He felt Klaus gasp softly and tip his head ever so slightly to give Diego more room. He took that as permission, then slowly peppered a few more kisses up his neck and to the spot just behind his ear. Klaus let out the softest little moan, reaching his hand up to cup the side of Diego’s face against his neck.

“ _Fuck, don’t stop_ ,” he said with a shaky whisper. 

Diego obeyed and stepped up his game, letting his neck kisses get a little wet and sharp as he nipped gently and then sucked the skin between his lips. Klaus whined and shifted enough to be able to turn his head far enough for a fresh, minty kiss, which was Diego’s goal the whole time. He skipped the coy, soft kisses they normally shared, slipping this tongue past Klaus’ lips. He was getting more confident with this kind of kiss, worrying less about doing it ‘right’ and just letting himself get lost in the feel of Klaus’ tongue slipping against his. He still got the butterflies though, and he still had to be conscious of taking it too far, but with Klaus kissing him like this, it was easy to lose that awareness.

Klaus was not satisfied with that angle for very long, so he broke the kiss and sat up again. With only a little bit of fumbling, he managed to turn around on his knees between Diego’s legs on the couch. The second he was firmly planted he tipped his body forward and rested his forearms on Diego’s collarbones, his hands wrapping around the back of Diego’s neck, thumbs pressing gently just under his jaw. 

Fuck, Klaus looking down at him with heat in his eyes and wet lips was so hot it made Diego’s heart skip a beat. He tipped his head up and closed his eyes as Klaus leaned down to kiss him again - slow, sexy and skilled now that he had better control. Diego reached up and gripped the back of Klaus’ naked thighs just below the hem of the dress with both hands, absolutely living for how it made Klaus whine into his mouth. It made him want to reach up higher, maybe squeeze Klaus’ ass and see if he was into it, but he couldn’t do that, not yet. There were so many things he wished he could try, but it wasn’t as easy as just _letting_ himself do it.

“Mm-” Klaus mumbled as he pulled back, his soft pants puffing over Diego’s face. “We should do this in the bedroom. Feels weird out here.”

“Good point,” Diego said, and he made a split second decision. “Hold on.”

He could do this, he knew he was strong enough even with his injury weakness. One at a time Diego used his hands on the back of Klaus’ thighs to pull his knees on either side of his own hips, then gripped him tightly around the middle with his left arm.

“Diego, are you about to fucking carry me? I’m heavy, you can’t- _oh my god_ ,” Klaus said, wrapping his arms around Diego’s neck as they started to move. 

Diego used all the strength he had to turn his body and lift them both off the couch. He’d seen this in movies, but having Klaus’ thighs gripping his hips, arms wrapped tightly around his neck as he walked them somewhat blindly toward the bedroom - it was better than the movies. Especially when Klaus stopped worrying about being dropped, relaxing and leaning forward to rain little kisses all over Diego’s face. With his left arm wrapped securely around Klaus’ waist, he held out his right hand to guide them toward the bedroom, doing his damnedest to not trip while he couldn’t see what was in front of them. 

“You’re so fucking hot,” Klaus breathed against his cheek, then kissed the corner of Diego’s mouth before sucking his bottom lip into his mouth briefly. “Want you so bad.” 

Diego didn’t know how to respond to that, but it made his heart beat faster and his skin flush all over. He knew what Klaus wanted, but he couldn’t give that to him. He was already deliberately ignoring the way he could feel Klaus’ cock pressing lightly against his belly through underwear as he carried him, how was Diego going to last much longer once they made it to bed? He was going to ignore that, too, since it seemed to be working so far. _Just keep going._

When he finally felt the edge of the bed hit the top of his knees it made them buckle. He fell forward, Klaus’ weight wrapped around him making them both fall to the middle of the bed faster. Klaus laughed and scooted up, dragging Diego up with him and then back down on top of him for a kiss. God it was too much already, lying between Klaus bare legs like this was by far the most erotic thing he’d ever done in his life and Diego _loved_ it, but his anxiety did _not._

He kept going despite all his red flags waving, burying his face in Klaus’ neck to suck the soft skin again. Klaus’ hands were all over him, tangling in his hair, clawing at his shoulders, trying to get his shirt off his back. Diego had never been more turned on in his life, absolutely drunk on the noises Klaus made and the way he arched his body up against him to be as close as possible - but that was the trigger. Klaus hooked his calf over Diego’s hip at the same time that Diego was sliding his hand up the side of his thigh, then Klaus arched up just a little too enthusiastically. His stiff cock jutted up against Diego’s in a way that almost made him black out.

Diego groaned and froze, his face pressed against Klaus’ collar bone, fingers gripping so hard on Klaus’ hip he was definitely going to leave bruises, his other hand gripping the sheets almost hard enough to tear.

“ _Shit,_ are you okay?,” Klaus asked breathlessly, his hand in Diego’s hair sliding down to cup his cheek, the other hand patting Diego’s shoulder. “Hey, honey.”

 _No no no, why now_ , Diego thought as he felt all the intense tell-tale signs of a panic attack flaring up. His vision tunneled, his lungs stopped working, gut-churning nausea, inexplicable surge of terror and - fuck, the worst part - the brutal memories intruding on this otherwise fucking stellar moment. He jerked out of Klaus’ arms, scrambling backward off the edge of the bed to the floor while loud, horrifying screaming echoed in his head and broke his brain. He couldn’t move, he couldn’t even breathe, hunched over on his hands and knees in front of the bed like he was praying to a god he didn’t believe in. 

Once the attack subsided for the most part, all he was left with was raw anger, humiliation and the urge to projectile vomit all over this room. He was never going to fucking get over this, he was never going to be normal and it was going to ruin whatever he had with Klaus. Who wanted to be with some broke-dick asshole that couldn’t even fuck? Especially someone like Klaus, who was literally a fuck- _expert._

Diego wanted to run out of the room and hide in shame, but he knew that no matter where he ran, Klaus was going to follow him, anyway. He also knew exactly how Klaus would be looking at him once Diego stopped staring at the floor, with that concern and sympathy that made Diego want to spontaneously vaporize so no one could ever see him again. 

Then again, what if that’s not the way Klaus was looking at him? What if it was somehow worse - anger, annoyance, boredom? He never considered those to be worse than pity before, but… now he cared about Klaus’ opinion of him a lot more than he used to. 

“Hey,” Klaus whispered, crawling toward the edge of the bed. Out of his peripheral vision Diego saw Klaus’ hand start to reach out to him and then freeze before he made contact, thinking better of it. He pulled his hand back and waited for Diego to look at him. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” Diego said, his voice steady now despite how much he could still feel himself shaking. He looked up, seeing Klaus’ face look… _guilty_ , which was none of the emotions he’d been expecting. “But I’ll survive, if that’s what you’re asking.” 

“I’m so fucking sorry, Diego. I should have stopped you. I knew it was too far but I-” Klaus said in a rush, closing his eyes and shaking his head for a second. He looked down at his clasped hands between his knees. “I thought maybe this time would be different, you seemed so into it. But I was being selfish, I wanted it to keep going, I knew this would happen and I just…. let it. I’m so, so sorry.” 

“Klaus stop, this is not your fault,” Diego said with a tired voice, pinching the bridge of his nose and forcing himself to keep talking even though he just wanted to forget this shit ever happened. “ _None_ of this is your fault, okay? I know my own limits and I did it anyway. Plus, I’m the one that told you to keep trying, and I meant it.”

“I know but-”

“No, no buts. I’m responsible for myself, it’s not up to you to stop this from happening,” Diego said. “I’m fine now. Please, just - don’t blame yourself. If anyone should be sorry it’s me, I ruined our date.” 

“Aww, it’s not ruined. It’s early, we can still salvage it,” Klaus said, finally feeling confident enough to reach out and pet Diego’s hair. 

“I’m sorry, I kind of just... want to go to bed now,” Diego said, and it was the truth. His muscles hurt from being wound so tight with anxiety, his belly felt gross, his head was splitting.

“Okay, I definitely understand that. Can… can I still lay down with you?” Klaus asked hesitantly. 

“Of course,” Diego said, but that part was less true. 

He didn’t want Klaus to feel rejected, but he really felt more like being alone with his shame than anything. The thought of Klaus sitting out in the living room feeling guilty was an even worse thought, though, so of course he said yes. Plus, Klaus wasn’t pushing him away like he’d been afraid of, even though he was an enormous fucking disappointment, so he didn’t want to push Klaus away either.

“Okay good, I’m going to go smoke and change,” Klaus said, leaning forward on his knees and then down far enough to give Diego a kiss on the crown of his head. “Get comfy, I’ll be right back.”

By the time Klaus returned Diego was feeling… okay. He still wasn’t much in the mood to snuggle, but his blood pressure had evened out, he wasn’t nauseated or anxious. He was mostly just pouting now, but he felt like he was entitled to that much. His eyes were closed and his arms were crossed over his chest, so he didn’t see Klaus come in so much as hear him as he padded around to the other side of the bed.

“I turned the TV off and fed the cat and locked the door, so you don’t have to worry about getting up for anything,” Klaus said as he climbed under the covers next to Diego. 

“Thank you,” Diego said, trying to let out a sigh as inaudibly as possible. 

A few quiet moments went by, but Klaus was staring at him, he could just feel it. Diego sighed again and unfolded his arms, lifting up the left one so Klaus could snuggle up under it. It was exactly what Klaus wanted, Diego could tell because there was zero hesitation. Klaus laid up against his side with his cheek on Diego’s chest, arm draped over his stomach, wiggling around until he got perfectly settled. Diego let his arm drop back down and squeezed Klaus’ shoulder with the reassurance that he knew Klaus wouldn’t ask him for but he desperately needed. 

Diego wanted this to feel as good as it normally did, but he couldn’t get himself into it at the moment. Feeling insecure made him want to pull away both emotionally and physicaly, especially after he was reminded of the sexual abuse he’d witnessed. It made him even more uncomfortable and hyper-aware of being touched than he already was, no matter how much he normally appreciated Klaus’ physical affection. But when Klaus was feeling insecure he needed _more_ affection than usual, so he didn’t understand that Diego wasn’t really like that. 

Then again, this was only the second time this happened, and Diego hadn’t spoken up about needing space after he’d been triggered like that yet. Klaus couldn’t possibly know unless he said something, but Diego didn’t even know until now. The first time they weren’t nearly as close, so Klaus naturally kept his distance afterward. This time they were… _together,_ though, so of course Klaus wanted to try to make Diego feel better with cuddling, because that’s what he would want. 

Diego should tell him, but he was already so afraid of Klaus feeling like any of this was his fault. The last thing he wanted to say was ‘ _you touching me right now is making my skin crawl_ ,’ because who _wouldn’t_ take that personally? Especially because it wasn’t Klaus making this happen to him at all, but that still didn’t take the sting out of the sentiment. On the other hand, Klaus was a sexual abuse victim too, in an even worse way. There was a chance he may completely understand where Diego was coming from better than most, even if it made him sad to hear that Diego needed space when this happened.

“I’m sorry again for ruining our date, and being weird,” Diego said with another sigh. He was starting to willfully acclimate to the physical attention again, but the silence was fucking terrible. 

“It’s _okay,_ honey. It’s not weird, I totally get it. You can take me on another date when we get to Luther’s, we will have plenty of chances to get it right,” Klaus said.

As usual, he could drag Diego out of the darkest of places. All it took was Klaus picking up Diego’s right hand from his chest and bringing it to his mouth to gently kiss his knuckles and then rest his nose and mouth on them. It was still touch, but it was so fucking _soft_ and sincere, it was impossible for even Diego’s defensive mind to interpret it as a threat in any way. It was _love._ Klaus didn’t have to actually say it for Diego to feel it, but that scared him for a whole other reason so he ignored it.

“I will definitely do that. I still have to kick your ass at air hockey,” Diego said. The sound and feel of Klaus chuckling against him brought him out of his funk even further. It was basically impossible to frown when Klaus was laughing near you.

“I’m telling you, you can not beat me! If I had anything to bet on it, I would,” Klaus said, resting his chin on Diego’s hand he was still holding, so he could look up at Diego’s face. 

“You’re dreaming, but it sounds like it’s going to be a lively game,” Diego said, smiling and letting Klaus catch his eye for the first time since the freak out. 

His gaze lingered on Diego’s lips and he could tell Klaus wanted to lean up and kiss him, but he was afraid. Diego hated that. He never wanted Klaus to be afraid to kiss him, and that would only happen even more if Diego were to mention the touch aversion thing. All he could do was suck it up and keep fucking trying, keep letting Klaus be close even during the times when Diego involunatarily wanted to recoil from his touch. He decided he better start now, so he turned his hand under Klaus’ chin so he could grip it and pull him forward for that kiss he wanted. It was just a sweet, chaste one, but when their lips met he could feel Klaus smiling against his mouth. Diego adored when that happened, but he still cut the kiss off quickly. He didn’t want to push himself whatsoever so soon after… the thing.

“So,” Diego started, then cleared his throat as Klaus settled back down against his chest. “What do you want for breakfast tomorrow? It will just be us.”

“Chicken nuggets,” Klaus said impulsively.

“Ew, like freezer ones?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t think Agnes has those. Also it’s for breakfast, in case you missed that part,” Diego said, carding his left hand through Klaus’ hair.

“People eat chicken and waffles all the time, don’t act like that’s a strange request,” Klaus said, but his voice lacked conviction. Diego knew having his fingers in his hair was doing a number on Klaus’ concentration.

“Yeah, like fried chicken, not freezer nuggets,” Diego said, rolling his eyes affectionately. “But I can still make waffles?”

“Mmhmm,” Klaus mumbled noncommittally. 

He was definitely too lost in Diego scratching his scalp lightly with his nails to care. Breakfast ceased to exist. Diego pet down his sideburns, the little bit of stubble on his jaw, fingers ghosting over his throat and then back up over his ear and into his hair again. If Klaus could purr like a kitten he would be, Diego could just tell. 

“If you could just do that forever, that’d be great,” Klaus said, squeezing Diego around the middle with the arm draped over his stomach. He also brought his knee up over Diego’s leg and tucked his toes behind Diego’s calf, wrapping himself as close as possible to his side. 

“I can do that, too,” Diego said. It was still early, neither of them should be asleep yet, but the longer Diego lazily petted Klaus like this, the sleepier they both got. Soon he would have to disturb Klaus to lean over and turn the lamp off, but moving him seemed like a crime.

“Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“This is still the best date either of us have ever had,” Klaus said, making Diego chuckle softly. 

“Yeah, that’s a good point. And they can only get better from here, right?” Diego said, even though he didn’t quite have confidence in that much. 

The future was so uncertain he was afraid to even let himself dream that they could have a normal, healthy future together. But… in a perfect world, he would take Klaus on tons of great dates. He would try to fill Klaus so full of happiness and good memories that he would forget the things that bring him down, forget that he ever needed drugs to cope.

“Yes, but not because this wasn’t a good day. I got to see you dance which was amazing and completely unexpected, so don’t stress. I’m always having a good time with you,” Klaus said, then yawned into Diego’s chest.

“I’m always having a good time with you, too,” Diego said, and saying it out loud made his throat get a little tight with emotion. 

It was so true, but also heavier than just enjoying Klaus’ company. It was the best part about whatever this relationship was turning into - Klaus made Diego enjoy being alive, even on the shittiest of days. Klaus caring about him this way made him forget to hate himself quite as much, and Diego never thought that was even possible. He just hoped he could do the same for Klaus, because if anyone deserved to love themselves in spite of their past, it was him.

“Are you gonna bring me waffles in bed?” Klaus asked, but his voice was so heavy with sleep, Diego wasn’t sure if he was even aware he asked it out loud. 

“Sure, babe,” Diego whispered, letting his eyes fall closed. The lamp couldn’t even stop him from nodding off quickly, basking in the warm glow of having Klaus in his arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Sorry for all the cheese, except not really ;D (omg Diego used the L-word!! Only in his own head, but we know. We know.) 
> 
> \- LAST update for this book on 8/7! ... And then there will be the considerable break I mentioned before Book 3. But I think y'all are going to be carried away with season 2 in the meantime, right? Just don't forget to subscribe or bookmark so you get the update when I start posting the next book! 
> 
> \- Also if you want to prod me for information about my progress, you can absolutely private message me or send me an ask on the aesthetic blog! (lawlesslovers.tumblr.com) or my main if you know that, but I'd rather not post that url here lol


	18. The Hierophant: Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** LAST ONE IN THIS BOOK!!!  
> ** The art is done!!!! Go to the chapter index and choose the chapter that's just titled 'Book Two'! GO LOOK IT'S SO FUCKING GORGEOUS!! ♥

_** September 27th, 2015, 10:20am ** _

Diego was all nerves and stormy thoughts the day he and Klaus were set to leave for Seattle. This day felt like it would never come, and now that it was here Diego wanted to dig his heels in the dirt harder than ever. Not because he was attached to this place, or to Agnes or anything like that, he actually couldn’t wait to get away from this house he’d been prisoner in for almost a month. No, he was just absolutely sick with fear about having to face Luther and every other potentially terrible thing the future may hold. He could barely hold his cup of coffee this morning, the nerves making him shake like a leaf at the breakfast table. Even Klaus kissing his forehead lightly and telling him it would be okay did nothing to dissipate the dark, heavy cloud hovering over him at the moment. Every few minutes he wondered why he gave up smoking, because he could really use that therapeutic exhale you get from your first good hit after a long time.

The phone ringing startled him so much it may have shaved at least a year off of his lifespan, black coffee splashing across the white table cloth as he jerked abruptly. 

“Oh, that’s Luther, probably,” Klaus said, taking care of their breakfast dishes. Diego’s mouth went dry, but he got up to answer the phone anyway.

“ _Hello_ ,” he croaked, then cleared his throat. He tried again, “Hello?”

“Hey, okay change of plans,” Luther said, sanding off a few more years of Diego’s life. The plan can’t change, Diego was committed to the plan already. “Hazel won’t be able to pick you up as scheduled. He got caught up in Idaho Falls last night, and I have no one else free at the moment either. How is your arm?”

“Uh, it’s functional,” Diego said, flexing his numb fingers into a fist. Why did Luther care? He hadn’t asked Diego once so far how he was doing with that.

“Excellent. Can you drive?”

“To _Seattle?_ ”

“Yes. Trust me, the last thing I want to do is let you loose on the open road. But I already have a couple appointments scheduled that you have to attend tomorrow, so you’re going to have to come today,” Luther said, like he was just asking Diego to walk across the park instead of driving for the whole day.

“Uh, what ‘ _appointments,_ ’ exactly?” he asked, fully expecting to get zero answers. He didn’t appreciate having obligations before he even fucking got there. 

“My lawyer, my counterfeiter, and a surgeon,” Luther said briskly. Diego couldn’t believe he heard any of those things leave Luther’s mouth. “Normally I would be-”

“- _Wait,_ I have something to say about every one of those things,” Diego interrupted. “You have a _counterfeiter_ , first of all? What the fuck? And what kind of surgeon, for what? And why the hell would I be talking to a lawyer or literally anyone with connection to law enforcement?”

“Look, these are all valid questions and I would love to answer every one of them, but it will have to wait until you get here, okay? Are you listening or are you going to keep interrupting me? I don’t have all day,” Luther said, that condescending tone making Diego’s nostrils flare and fists clench. He kept his shit together with gritted teeth, though.

“Yeah, go ahead,” Diego said with a note of sass. 

“Like I said, I don’t have a driver to pick you up right now, but Agnes has a car. I’ve been meaning to get her something newer, anyway. Pack your things in it and head this way. Agnes should have a map for you. It’s not a bad drive, only about seven hours if you drive the speed limit, which you fucking better. I’m so serious, Diego. Listen to me,” Luther said, the authority in his voice making Diego feel defiant on purpose. “Are you listening carefully?”

“Yeah, I’m fucking listening! Christ sake,” Diego snapped, God he hated that shit. He bored holes into the wall with his burning glare. He already didn’t want to make this drive, he didn’t need Luther to treat him like he was a child on top of it. 

“You are not to stop under any circumstances,” Luther stated, sounding like the big bad business boss he was. Diego imagined everyone else was intimidated, but he could still remember Luther as a snobby little baby that wouldn’t even ride bikes with Diego as kids because he didn’t want to skin his knees. _Weak._ “Pack lunches, piss in a bottle. If you two idiots are seen heading this way you’ll ruin everything. I don’t expect anyone to be vigilantly looking for you anymore, but we will _all_ be sorry if I’m wrong about that.”

“Call me or Klaus an idiot one more time, Luther, I swear to God-”

“You swear to God what, Diego? You’re going to kill me? Kick my ass? Don’t forget who’s keeping your sorry ass out of jail right now. It’s like you want me to just stop helping you,” Luther said. 

Diego shut his eyes and tried to tame the rage, the pride-shattering humiliation of being at the mercy of someone he hated so, _so_ much. He bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood. He had no idea how to respond to that without severing the thin thread of trust he and Luther had at the moment, and therefore ruin his and Klaus’ chance of ever getting out of this. He was actually struggling to inhale when he felt Klaus’ arms wrap around him from behind, then Klaus holding him tight, cheek pressed at the nape of his neck. He could clearly sense that Diego was ready to blow up and tried to help in the only way he knew how. And… it worked, for the most part. Diego could take a deep breath again, even with Klaus’ arms squeezing him close.

“I don’t want you to stop helping me. I just want you to stop using it as a license to treat me like I’m garbage, okay? I fucking get it, you’re better than me, you don’t have to rub my face in it every time you talk to me,” Diego said, lifting his arm to rest his hand over Klaus’ arms around him. He wasn’t sure what made him speak that candidly about his feelings with Luther, maybe it was just Klaus’ influence on him. He heard Luther sigh.

“Sorry, I’m just under a lot of stress and-”

“And talking to me is stressful? Likewise,” Diego interrupted, but then wished he hadn’t. At least Luther was apologizing, maybe Diego should have let him.

“Yeah...” Luther said, and for a split second Diego felt something close to an understanding between them. Then Luther cleared his throat and changed the subject. “Anyway, I have a driver in Newcastle that will be waiting for you. If you put Agnes on I will have her mark the map at the pickup spot. Unfortunately I can’t just have you waltz up to my front door in broad daylight in case this place is still under surveillance.”

“That makes sense. Does that mean I’m going to be on house arrest there, too?” Diego asked.

“Not for long, hopefully. But like I said, we will discuss all that when you get here. Please don’t stop, don’t talk to anyone. Just drive to Newcastle and I promise I’ll explain everything when you get here,” Luther said, then added before Diego could speak. “Put Agnes on the phone. I’ll see you around dinner time, if you get a move on shortly.”

“Alright, thanks,” Diego said, holding the phone to his chest and shifting in Klaus’ arms. “Hey, can you go get Agnes for me?”

“Sure,” Klaus said, kissing the back of his neck and releasing him. As soon as Klaus was out of the room Diego put the phone back up to his ear.

“Hey, real quick,” Diego said quietly, waiting for Luther to make a noise in his throat to signal he was listening. “When we get there, I need you to please, please talk to Klaus better than you talk to me. He didn’t mean to get tied up in all this, and he’s uh… he’s not like us, okay? He will take it personally if you’re a dick to him, and that will piss me off, and then I’m not responsible for what I say after that.”

“I’m not going to be a dick to your boyfriend, Diego, just relax,” Luther said, and he sounded more tired than anything. 

“O-okay, thanks,” Diego said, barely able to get the words out. 

Hearing Luther refer to Klaus as his _boyfriend_ made Diego feel like he missed a step on the stairs. His heart started beating faster as he wondered, gendered term aside, if that’s what they were now. Boyfriends, or partners, or whatever. He decided they must be at this point, since he’d spent the last week with Klaus’ tongue in his mouth, and agonizing about whether he was in love with Klaus for real or not. He decided it felt… pretty good, thinking of Klaus as _his,_ regardless of what they called their partnership.

“Okay, honey, I’m here,” Agnes said, startling him out of his train of thought. He took a deep breath and handed her the phone.

Diego still had some last minute stuff to pack, so he headed for the bedroom. His head was still swirling with anxiety about the future, but for the first time hearing someone acknowledge his connection with Klaus as romantic made his heart a little lighter. When Hazel and Agnes mentioned it, he’d felt defensive and afraid, but now it just felt _right._ A lot had happened in the last few weeks that had really opened Diego up to the idea of love, something he thought he would never find, at least not for a very long time. He smiled for the first time that morning.

Until he pushed the bedroom door open, anyway. Klaus must not have been expecting him, because he was standing at the foot of the bed in just his white underwear, a black dress laid out on the bed in front of him. Diego was less uncomfortable with Klaus being scantily clad than he used to be, so it wasn’t that, but every time he saw a glimpse of Klaus’ hips he felt fearful guilt because of the last time they’d taken things too far. In his panic he’d gripped Klaus’ hip way too hard and left bruises that lingered for a couple days. Now Diego instinctively looked for them anytime Klaus was wearing a short shirt, even though they hadn’t been visible anymore for a while. It had taken Klaus at least three days to convince Diego that he was alright and wasn’t upset in the slightest, but he still couldn’t forgive himself for it happening. 

The last thing he wanted to do in the world was hurt Klaus, which was one of his biggest hangups with them being ‘boyfriends’ or whatever. Diego was too quick to anger, too easy to trigger into violence, even accidentally. Being with Klaus made him less of those things, but he couldn’t help but be afraid that one day that wouldn’t help anymore. One day Klaus could make him really angry, because Diego knew that kind of thing happened in relationships all the time. Then what? What if he lost himself? What if he couldn’t break the cycle of his father’s violence? The thought made him want to actually die, because if he hurt Klaus that way he would absolutely find the nearest gun and blow his own head off, no hesitation.

“Oh, hey, sorry,” Klaus said as he noticed Diego in the doorway, picking up the dress to hold over his naked chest. He did a double-take after seeing the look on Diego’s face. “Are you okay?”

“... Yeah, I’ve just got a lot on my mind,” Diego said, finally averting his gaze to his half-packed duffle bag on the floor.

“Something Luther said? What did he say, anyway? We’re still going, right?” Klaus rattled off as he pulled the solid black cotton dress over his head.

“Well, Hazel isn’t picking us up anymore, but we are going,” Diego said, letting himself glance up at Klaus while he was tugging the ¾ length sleeves up to his elbows. Fuck, he looked so adorable. Diego’s heart was getting whiplash feeling so many contradictory emotions at once.

“How are we getting there, then?” Klaus asked. Before Diego could answer Agnes tapped him on the shoulder. He really wished she wouldn’t sneak up on him like that. 

“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m going to go fill up the car so you guys don’t have to stop until you get to Washington. I told Luther you would still have to stop at least once. It’s only a 15 gallon tank, but the mileage is good so you guys will still get pretty far,” she said. Diego just nodded in acknowledgement. 

“Oh, we’re driving there?” Klaus asked. Diego turned just in time to see Klaus’ face light up at the concept.

“I’m driving there, you’re just going to sit there and be cute,” Diego said, smiling warmly in spite of his warring emotions.

“Aww, I can definitely do that,” Klaus said with a snort of laugher, matching his smile. Then another thought occurred to him. “Oh! I know you don’t want to, but we should cover your tattoo again, probably. We still have the makeup.”

“Ugh,” Diego grunted, rolling his eyes even though he knew Klaus was right. “That’s probably smart, but I hate it.”

“Well, you hate the tattoo, too, so you might as well just suck it up for one more day,” Klaus said, already crouching and digging in Diego’s duffle for the drugstore bag. 

Diego sighed and went to sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for Klaus to attack him with makeup products. As soon as Klaus was standing in front of him Diego spread his knees and scooped Klaus around the middle for a tight hug, pressing his face against his abdomen. Klaus was surprised but let himself be pulled forward into Diego’s arms. 

“Baby, are you sure you’re okay?” Klaus asked softly, letting the makeup bag fall on the bed so he could cradle Diego’s head in his arms and pet his hair. Diego didn’t answer for a while, trying to absorb as much sweet affection as he could get before facing the rest of the day. Klaus just quietly carded his fingers through Diego’s fluffy hair that was getting way too long, waiting for him to talk. 

“Yeah, I’m okay,” he finally said, pulling back just enough to look up at Klaus’ face. He wanted to tell Klaus how absolutely sick with fear he was, how his stomach was in knots, but he wanted to be strong, too. Now was not the time for vulnerability, even though he knew that Klaus wouldn’t shame him for being afraid. Someone had to be the brave one here, and Diego felt like Klaus had been stepping up to that plate a lot more than he had recently. It was his turn.

“I don’t believe you,” Klaus whispered, then leaned down to kiss Diego’s forehead. “It’s okay if you’re scared to leave. I am, too, but we’ve got this, right? Look how far we’ve made it. We’re unbreakable, Diego, even though it feels like the world is designed just to break us, sometimes.”

 _God, I love you_ , Diego thought, and he wanted to blurt it out so bad, but he was afraid of that, too. He swallowed the words and just nodded instead, then released Klaus from his arms. They needed to get going, all the emotional stuff would just have to wait until later. _Pull yourself together._

“Alright, let’s get the makeup junk over with. We’ve still got stuff left to round up,” he said, clearing his throat and putting his metaphorical armor back on. Klaus pet Diego’s cheek with his knuckles one last time, then set to work.

It went a lot quicker this time, mostly because Klaus wasn’t quite as timid about touching Diego’s face as he was back when they first started doing this. Diego spent most of the time staring up at his face and marveling at how beautiful he was. Klaus pretended not to notice but Diego still saw the faint blush and smirk on his face every time he glanced down and their eyes met.

“All done,” Klaus said around a makeup brush bit between his teeth. Diego sighed with relief, and immediately wanted to itch the makeup off because it felt just as icky as ever. When Klaus turned the makeup compact around to look at himself he frowned. “Should I shave before we go?”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, because maybe wearing a dress with a full goatee is weird? I only let it grow because…” he started, then frowned deeper and shook his head. 

“I guess it’s weird to some people, but fuck those people. I think you look great,” Diego said, then took Klaus’ other hand hanging at his side. “I didn’t know you had a reason for keeping it, though. Tell me.”

“Because… I guess it helped me dissociate from the life I left back in the city. I could never really grow one before because-” he rolled his eyes and looked disgusted. “Nevermind.”

“You can tell me,” Diego said, squeezing Klaus’ fingers in his hand.

“Because I looked a lot younger without one, and that’s unfortunately a look that sells, okay?” Klaus said, looking anywhere but Diego’s face. He pulled his fingers out of Diego’s hand and started packing up the makeup again with an anxious energy he hadn’t had before.

“Klaus, hey, it’s okay. I get that, and I think you should keep it if you like it, especially if it helps you in more ways than just for looks,” Diego said, trying to catch his eye again but Klaus wasn’t looking at him on purpose. He could understand that, too. 

Diego may not know a lot about the sexual interests of society, but he didn’t need Klaus to elaborate much further. He knew men wanted to fuck someone ‘barely legal,’ and Klaus could give them that fantasy the younger he looked. Diego didn’t want Klaus to ever feel _bad_ , but at the same time, he couldn’t help but be relieved that Klaus wasn’t proud of that part, and wanted to distance himself from it. He could grow a wizard beard for all Diego cared, as long as it made him feel better. 

“I’m going to go get my stuff from the bathroom,” Klaus said, leaving Diego sitting on the bed alone. 

He finally rounded up all of his crap and stuffed it in his duffle, moved the beds back the way they were originally, and put the bedding in the washer. Agnes had returned while he was busy doing those things, and she packed them lunches in paper sacks with their names on them in black sharpie, like a mother. She left them sitting on her chair side table in the living room next to a pile of cash that Diego was absolutely NOT going to take. He had enough cash left to fill a gas tank, he didn’t need her money. 

He was just setting his bag by the front door and glaring at the money when Klaus came out of the bathroom, looking much less upset than he’d been in the bedroom. Fuck, he also decided to put his eyeliner on for the first time since the disaster in Montana almost a month ago, and Diego almost forgot how pretty he looked that way, too. He had also put on a few of the bracelets that didn’t get bloodstained, painted his nails black, and finger-twisted his curls back to tight ringlets on the top of his head so they weren’t wild. No wonder he was in there for so long. Diego kind of assumed he was crying in there, but this was way better. He was doing things that made him feel good, Diego could tell by the smile on his face. 

“Hey,” Diego said needlessly. He was just struck dumb by Klaus, as usual.

“I almost forgot what it’s like to look presentable for the public. I haven’t been anywhere in so long and the reality of that is starting to set in,” Klaus said, shaking his body like he felt a shiver down his spine. “Who even am I?”

“Why do you think I’m freaking out? I don’t even know how to talk to people anymore,” Diego said, going to take the bag Klaus was holding from him. Agnes had given him a canvas bag to put his stuff in instead of the plastic bag he came with, and it appeared like he was leaving with a lot more stuff than he arrived with. 

As soon as Diego took his bag, Klaus shrieked as he noticed Twinkie loafing on the couch.

“Oh no!! I forgot I have to say goodbye to my favorite cat ever!” Klaus said, rushing past Diego to throw himself on the couch and immediately hug the cat. He kissed Twinkie’s face and stroked his head and mumbled some words of affection, like he was leaving a close friend. Twinkie didn’t look amused, but he wasn’t struggling either. “I love you so much! I’m going to miss you, please keep Agnes safe for me. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“I think that’s a pretty short list,” Agnes said, as she came in from the kitchen. She stood over him from behind the couch, beaming down at him snuggling her cat. She had a small cardboard box under one arm and another canvas bag in the other hand.

“Oh no, again!” Klaus said, realizing he was going to have to say goodbye to Agnes next. “I don’t want to say goodbye to you either!”

Diego didn’t think about it until then, but that part was going to be hard on Klaus. Those two had become pretty close in the last few weeks, spending many hours talking more deeply than Diego had ever talked to anyone in his life, except maybe with Klaus. He just had that effect on people. 

“Ohhh, I know, honey. I don’t want you to leave either,” Agnes said, wearing the saddest expression Diego had ever seen on her face. She walked over to Diego and held out the box. He saw that it held about seven jam jars. “Will you give these to Luther? He never gets my jam anymore and I know he will appreciate it.”

“Sure,” Diego said, switching Klaus’ bag to his right hand so he could hold the heavier box with his ‘good arm.’ As soon as she set the box in his arms and laid the bag on the floor, she turned to go give Klaus a hug. Except he was already standing behind her, waiting to bear hug her as soon as her hands were free.

“I love you, thank you so much for everything,” Klaus said against her shoulder, tears already streaking his makeup down his cheeks. Fuck, Diego was not ready for this kind of emotional display, even though he knew Klaus needed to have it. He was trying to be strong here, but seeing Klaus cry was his kryptonite.

“Of course, sweetheart. I love you too, very much. You’re welcome to come back anytime you want, there’s always room for you here,” she said, rubbing his back while he clung to her.

“I don’t want to go anymore. What if I never see you again?” he said through his sniffles.

“We will, whenever you two get settled just call me and I’ll come see you if you can’t make it back here,” she said, and Diego could hear the wavering in her voice like she was about to cry, too. And then Klaus delivered the final emotional blow and Diego couldn’t stop himself from having feelings anymore.

“I wish you were my mom,” he whispered, his voice hitching on the last word. Diego had to look away and blink rapidly to avoid letting any tears spill out, but his throat was still tight and his heartstrings were still tugged.

“If you want, you can call me that. I would be happy to be your mother,” she whispered back, making Klaus cry even harder. 

Shit, now Diego was definitely going to cry too. He couldn’t fight the one tear that escaped, so he lifted his shoulder and wiped it off his cheek as best he could with full hands. He knew Klaus had gone his whole life wanting to hear that exact fucking sentence, and he deserved it so much. Diego stared up the ceiling, hoping the rest of his tears would just reabsorb back into his eyeballs.

Klaus eventually let Agnes go, wiping his eyes on the backs of both hands. Diego hoped Anges didn’t want him to hug her also. It’s not that he hated her on principle the same way he did when he first got here, but he still had a lot of complex feelings about the matter, and none of them made him want to hug her. Plus, he just wasn’t a hugger, with the exception of Klaus. His hands were full, anyway, but he decided he should at least say something. She did let them hide away in her house for almost a month, which made her an accessory to several murders, and that was more than generous, if not bordering on insane.

“Thank you for all your help, Agnes,” he said. She nodded and reached up to pat his arm holding the cardboard box.

“It was no trouble at all. I hope you and Luther can resolve some of your issues when you get there. I think you guys have more in common than you think,” she said. Diego did his best to hide his frown, but he couldn’t stop the skeptical raised eyebrow. “Alright, lets get all your stuff to the car. The map is up in the visor for you already, and so are the keys.”

Klaus led the way, slinging Diego’s bag over his shoulder and picking up the two lunch bags on the end table. Diego noticed he also ignored the little pile of cash, which he appreciated. Agnes went next, picking up the second canvas bag she’d set down. And then Diego followed her out of the door, Twinkie streaking out past his ankles to follow Agnes. Maybe he knew they were leaving?

Diego had only taken one step out on the porch when Klaus made a startling noise of excitement.

“Holy shit, Agnes! You drive a fucking _Mustang?_ ” Klaus said, running down the stairs and to the car parked in the gravel driveway. Diego realized he’d never seen her car, since she never went anywhere without Hazel taking her and it was shut in the garage otherwise. “And it’s such a pretty blue!”

“Yep, I got it in 1989 when it was brand new, hot off the line. They call it regatta blue,” she said, following Klaus down the steps. “It was the first thing I bought with my nanny money. It doesn’t look that flashy compared to cars these days, but it was a hotrod when I first got it. It’s served me well for a lot of years.”

“Oh my god, that’s the year I was born! How is this car as old as me and it looks brand new?”

“I just took care of it, and it’s mostly been parked in the garage for the last six years or so,” she said. 

“Never took you for a muscle car person,” Diego said, coming up next to her by the passenger’s side door. 

It was a pretty cool car, Diego couldn’t deny it. She was right, it probably didn’t look that fancy to people that didn’t give a shit about cars, but Diego knew enough to know it was a classic. His dad cared about cars, and always tried to bond with Diego about it, but he never wanted to bond with him about anything so he pretended to hate cars on purpose. But this was a convertible, so that was cool no matter what you thought about cars.

“I fucking love this. Diego, we have to drive with the top down before we get to a populated area. I have never been in a convertible before,” Klaus said, then another thought occurred to him. “Oh, will you take a picture of me and Agnes before we leave? Two, actually, I want her to have one!”

“Sure. Get in the driver’s side and pop the trunk first,” Diego said, and Klaus did as he was asked.

They piled all the bags and boxes into the trunk, except for Klaus’ bag, which they added the lunch bags to so they didn’t have to stop for them. Klaus pulled out his polaroid camera and handed it to Diego, then stood next to Agnes by the car. She wrapped an arm around his waist, he wrapped one around her shoulders and tilted his head down to rest against hers. Once they were smiling Diego snapped the picture and caught the film as the camera spit it out. He shook it and walked over to Klaus to hand it to him. As soon as it developed Klaus made a face.

“Ugh, you can tell I’ve been crying, gross,” he said, but Anges snatched it out of his hand. 

“It’s perfect, I’m keeping it,” she said, and Klaus laughed in spite of hating the picture. He tried to wipe some of the black streaks off his cheeks for the next one.

Diego walked back a few steps to take another one, but Klaus yelled ‘wait!’ then bent to pick up the cat. He held Twinkie up to his chest under the cat’s front legs, his entire lower half dangling limply as Klaus wrapped his other arm back around Agnes. Twinkie was not into this, but he held still for the picture anyway. When it developed Diego actually laughed, too. The cat’s face could not look more unimpressed with the situation, and for a moment Diego actually liked a cat for once in his life.

“This one is great,” he said, handing the picture and camera to Klaus after he set Twinkie back on the ground. 

“Oh my gosh, it’s awesome,” he said, holding the picture over his heart and smiling.

“Alright, you kids better get a move on. Luther’s driver will be waiting for you in Newcastle around six,” Agnes said, and Diego couldn’t help but notice she didn’t say ‘you boys’ this time.

“Wait, one more picture,” Klaus said, then handed the camera to Anges. “Will you take a picture of us, too?”

“Sure, no problem,” she said, but Diego groaned internally. He absolutely hated having his picture taken, but he wanted Klaus to be happy so he would suck it up just like Twinkie did.

“Okay, come here,” Klaus said, taking Diego’s hand and positioning him how he wanted him to stand. This time he held his arm around Diego’s waist, with Diego’s arm over his shoulders.

As soon as Agnes was ready, Diego tried to force a smile. Except Klaus had other ideas. Just as she was about to take the picture, Klaus fucking _dipped him!_ He didn’t see it coming, so his body was easily tipped backward and he clung to Klaus’ neck for dear life and clutched his bicep with the other. What the fuck!? How was Klaus even strong enough to hold him up with one arm!? And then Klaus kissed him, and Diego finally realized what was happening. He had never felt so emasculated, but he closed his eyes and let it happen, anyway. 

After a few seconds Klaus picked him back up and helped him get steady again. He couldn’t believe that just fucking happened, and he couldn’t hide how flustered he was. Not in a _bad_ way, necessarily, but he didn’t love surprises. Klaus leaned in and kissed his frown. 

“I’m sorry, I just had to,” he said, his satisfied smirk making it hard for Diego to be too mad about it.

“This is the cutest thing I have ever seen,” Anges said, shaking the picture to help it develop faster. She walked over and handed it to Klaus, along with the camera.

“I’m fucking framing this,” Klaus said, showing Diego, but from a distance just in case he tried to snatch it. The picture was… okay it was cute, even if Diego hated that it didn’t happen the other way around. The person in the dress was _typically_ not the one dip kissing the person in pants, but he knew that’s part of what made it cute, and unique to them. 

“It’s nice, but please do not frame that,” he said, blushing furiously. Klaus ignored him.

“Okay, let’s hit the road! I want to feel the wind in my face!” he said, turning around to open the passenger’s side door. He halted and turned to give Agnes one last hug. 

Diego walked around the car and got in the driver’s side. It felt a little cramped in there compared to the other cars they'd been in, but it also felt… pretty cool. The interior was flawless and spotless, even after being driven for 26 years. For a few moments he let himself be excited to drive, excited to leave this place, as long as he didn’t let himself dwell on the destination. He noticed that Agnes had left them four bottles of water on the floorboard in the passenger’s seat, because she was nothing if not thoughtful and generous. He reached up and tipped the visor down, the keys falling into his open hand, which also felt cool. When Klaus finally got in the car he looked a little misty eyed again, but still excited for the ride. 

“Agnes just told me to tell Luther to let me keep this car when we get there,” he said as he shut the door.

“You can’t even drive.”

“No, but you can, and we will be together for… for a long time, I hope,” Klaus said. “You can take me places in it.”

“That’s true,” Diego said, smiling and turning on the ignition. It was a little loud, but what do you expect from a motor that old? 

“Okay, let’s roll, baby!” Klaus said, leaning down to set his camera and pictures in his bag. Then he rolled down the passenger window to wave at Agnes one last time before they set off. 

Diego felt his smile falter as soon as he backed out of the driveway and started out on the main road. He was excited to be leaving, he was excited to be with Klaus, but driving again made the uncertain future feel much more real, and much more terrifying. By the time Agnes’ house was out of sight Diego realized he had no idea where he was going. He remembered what direction they came from when they arrived almost a month ago, but the rest was a blur. He reached across Klaus’ head to the visor and pulled out the folded up map.

“Here, tell me how we get out of this town,” he said, handing Klaus the map. One of the things they had done to kill time at Agnes’ was teach Klaus how to read a map better, just in case they were ever on the road together again.

“Ugh, I hate being the navigator,” Klaus said, but he took the map anyway, squinting at the lines and trying to figure out where they were now. “What the fuck road is this, even?”

“Uhhh… I have no idea what it’s called, there wasn’t exactly a street sign near her house. I guess just wait until we get to the next crossroads,” Diego said. 

“Oh wait, she put a tiny blue star where we were, bless her,” Klaus said. He followed the road they were on with his finger and made a noise of concentration. “Okay, so basically follow this forever, like 10 miles, it’s super curvy but there are no crossroads or anything. We’re looking for Wilson road, it’s like the main drag into town, turn left and then there’s several turns after that to get to the highway out of here, but it’s still a long way from now.”

“Alright, thank you,” Diego said, pausing his anxiety for a few moments to be proud of Klaus. Except Klaus’ face was crumpling up like he was going to cry. “Hey, are you okay?”

“Yeah... I’m just really going to miss her,” he said, managing to keep it together with a deep breath. “But it’s okay. She said she would come see us.”

“Right, it’s not the last time you’ll ever see her,” Diego said, but Klaus still looked miserably skeptical about the likelihood of that ever happening. Diego wasn’t completely sure it ever would either, but he wasn’t sure about a lot of things. He held out his right hand between them, palm up. “Hey.” 

Klaus glanced at Diego’s hand and smiled weakly. He folded up the map and tucked it between his knees, then rested his fingers between Diego’s and held on casually. Diego couldn’t feel it very well, which was a real bummer, but he squeezed a little tighter anyway.

“Cheer up, everything is going to be okay,” Diego said, trying his best to be upbeat for Klaus’ sake. “Why don’t you see if the radio works on this thing?”

“You’re already submitting yourself to that torture? You must really like me,” Klaus said, his face lighting up again.

“Yeah, you’re alright, I guess,” Diego said with a shrug and a smirk. He really would rather not listen to the radio, but he knew it would take Klaus’ mind off things, and to be honest, his own, too.

They were both mostly quiet for the rest of their drive out of the small town of Monument, with the exception of Klaus singing his heart out to some dumb songs that Diego may have hated a little less than he used to. Maybe it was just because he liked to hear Klaus sing them, even though he couldn’t carry a tune whatsoever. As soon as they were even more in the middle of nowhere, Klaus begged Diego to stop for a second so they could drop the roof.

“This is the fucking best.” Klaus said as soon as it finished drawing back. “Okay, drive!”

As soon as they took off, the sun on their faces and the wind whipping in their hair, Diego couldn’t even pretend like it didn’t feel good. Klaus blasted the radio to hear over the wind, closing his eyes and smelling the breeze like a dog with their head out of the window. After a few minutes Diego glanced over and he could see the wheels in Klaus’ head turning as he glanced around, chewing his lip and his finger toying with the seat belt buckle. 

“You want to sit on the top of the seat like a music video, don’t you?” Diego said, leaning over and speaking loudly over the wind close to Klaus’ ear. Klaus grinned and nodded. Diego chuckled and slowed down a little. “Go ahead, before anyone drives by.”

“Fuck yes!” Klaus said, unbuckling his seatbelt as fast as lightning. He brought his bare feet up on the seat so he could push up and slide his ass up the back of the seat and sit on the headrest. 

He held his hands over his head like he was on a roller coaster, closing his eyes and letting the wind absolutely destroy his hair and flare the bottom of his dress around his thighs. Diego glanced at him a couple times, his heart absolutely glowing with affection for this adorable weirdo just savoring the little things. Klaus caught his eye one of the times and blew a kiss down to him, making his heart skip a beat. Not for the first time that day he thought about how much he’d grown to love Klaus, like really, _really_ love him.

Diego stared at the road again as he felt his smile falter, not wanting Klaus to see his shift in mood. He knew his anxiety would catch up with him soon enough, bringing back all the questions he feared the answers to. What if he lost this? What if this was the last time they were happy? What if Luther couldn’t save them? What if Klaus couldn’t resist the temptation of drugs? _What if, what if, what if - ugh, just stop!_ Diego tried to tell himself to just savor this moment like Klaus was, but that’s just not the kind of person he was, at least not with such uncertainty lying before them. He wanted to tell Klaus how he felt before they got there, just… just in case things went badly. Just in case they didn’t have the chance after today.

He really wanted Klaus to know just how much he’d changed Diego’s life, changed his _heart_ , but that brought up a new wave of anxiety, too. What if Klaus didn’t feel that way? No, that couldn’t be true. Diego had no concept of how it felt to be in love like this before, but he really had no question that Klaus felt the same. But still, what if he didn’t? What if Diego was just being naive? It’s not like he had any frame of reference for this sort of thing. What if he was just caught up in the euphoria of a crush and mistook it for love? Klaus might freak out if Diego confessed his stupid, immature feelings so fast, or think he was ridiculous. God, it had barely been a month since they’d met. Love didn’t happen that fast. Maybe it was absurd to feel the way he did in such a short amount of time. 

But on the other hand, their situation wasn’t one a normal couple would be in. They had spent more time together in the last month than most couples did over many months. They had already lived together, and they were still getting along better than ever. Sure, Klaus had some mildly annoying domestic habits - like leaving wet towels on the floor, and chewing with his mouth open, and leaving disaster messes literally everywhere he went, and talking louder than he needed to when he got excited, and leaving the cupboards wide open literally _every_ time he got a dish out of them - but Diego kind of… loved all that, too. Not in spite of that, but _including_ those things. There was literally nothing he would change about Klaus, he loved all of it. 

But none of those feelings would matter if Luther couldn’t save them, and once again Diego’s entire fucking life and happiness was hinging on Luther. And really, how was he going to get them out of this jam, anyway? Luther mentioned a lawyer, but there was no way in hell any lawyer could get them out of this, even if Luther had the same legal defense team as OJ Simpson. Diego wouldn’t even let them try, because if they went to court there wasn’t a jury in all of America that would believe his self defense plea, especially a second time. All they would see is some piece of shit felon that repeated his crime the moment he was set free, and really, would they be wrong?

God, just thinking about killing Craig again made Diego want to puke. They had traveled so far, and so much had happened since the murder that Diego had distanced himself from it in his mind, but he was still very much at fault there. He’d killed that man so easily, so fucking fast, without a second thought. He’d almost forgotten to still hate himself for that inner demon that _enjoyed_ committing those murders, at least in the moment.

Fuck, he didn’t deserve Klaus. He didn’t deserve such a soft, sweet person that could forgive him for anything, even throat-slitting, bloodlusting murder. That wasn’t healthy. None of this was fucking healthy, and he was stupid to think he even deserved a _third_ chance at a normal life, regardless of whether Luther could help or not. He was fooling himself to think any of this would last, that he and Klaus deserved to be happy. Of course Klaus did, he hadn’t done anything wrong, but the only thing Diego deserved was another cell.

Diego could feel the darkness taking over any happy thought he’d been having before, and he didn’t see himself coming out of it anytime soon. He would have to keep a happy front on for Klaus though, because he didn’t want to take that smile off Klaus’ face for any reason. He wanted him to keep enjoying this road trip, keep smiling as long as possible, because it could all come crumbling down after today.

After a while Klaus leaned down and kissed the top of Diego’s head from where he was sitting on the headrest, then pet his cheek and neck affectionately. God, he was too fucking adorable. Klaus kissed his head one more time before leaning back and then sliding back down in the passenger’s seat. He looked absolutely wild and exhilarated, like he’d never had that much fun in his life, his face stuck in a big, goofy grin. 

“Okay, we can close this now,” Klaus said loudly over the wind, rubbing the top of his thighs with his hands. “I’m fucking freezing!”

Diego pulled over long enough to put the roof up, then took off again without saying anything. He could feel Klaus studying him, but he couldn’t force himself to smile. At least not yet.

“Are you mad at me?” Klaus asked. Shit, of course Klaus would immediately assume that. So much for not upsetting him.

“No, not at all,” Diego said, keeping his eyes fixed on the pavement. 

He should elaborate, explain his feelings because that’s the only way Klaus would believe him, but he also didn’t want to talk about it. He just wanted to drive and brood quietly, because he needed time to prepare himself for meeting Luther again after eight years. Plus, Klaus was already well aware of most of the things he was worried about, anyway. Except the love part, but Diego couldn’t pluck up the courage to say that out loud, even though he still wanted to do that more than anything else.

Klaus left him to his own thoughts for quite a while, only speaking up if they needed to talk about directions. He would glance at Diego every 10 minutes, waiting to see if he was done being in a pissy mood, but he must have looked as stormy as he felt, because Klaus never got brave enough to bother him. Instead he fiddled with the radio, messed around with all the junk in his bag, wrote in his journal for a while, and stared out the window at the endless, boring, brown hills that framed both sides of the long road they were on. 

Even the weather was starting to match Diego’s mood, black and grey clouds overtaking the blue sky the further Northwest they went. When the rain started, Klaus couldn’t pretend to be cheerful anymore, or even worried. He was crossing over into annoyance, and he folded his arms, sighing heavily as he glared at the rain droplets on the window. Why couldn’t Diego just fucking talk to him, why was he being such a coward?

As the miles went by, Klaus was getting more and more restless, and Diego knew he was going to have to lighten up eventually before Klaus really took it personally, if he hadn’t already. They almost made it to the Washington state border before he had finally had enough and confronted Diego about his mood.

“Look, if you’re mad at me just fucking say something already,” Klaus said, frowning at him. Diego sighed and fluttered his lips. 

“I’m not mad at you, Klaus, I promise,” he said, trying to give Klaus his most sincere face. 

“Then what is your problem? We’ve been driving for like three fucking hours and you have barely spoken to me and you’re scowling like I pissed in your Cheerios this morning,” Klaus said, entirely unconvinced. 

“Klaus, it’s not you, okay? I mean, it’s partially you, but not for a bad reason,” he said, then mentally kicked himself for adding that last part. Now he was going to have to explain.

“It’s not me but it’s me? Sure, that makes a lot of fucking sense,” Klaus said, his folded arms turning into more of a self-hug as he slouched down in the seat. “Just drop me off in Wasco, if you don’t want to be with me.”

“Stop being dramatic, I’m not dropping you off anywhere,” Diego said, but in that moment he realized what Klaus was actually afraid of. He was afraid Diego was regretting bringing him along to Luther’s, which was completely ridiculous. He had to fix this, right now.

“Whatever,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and looking out the window again. 

Luther said they weren’t allowed to stop, but they were making good time and they weren’t going to get out of the car anyway, so Diego decided ‘fuck it.’ He started looking for the nearest place to pull off for a few minutes. He had to force himself to explain what was fucking him up, because Klaus deserved to know. He deserved to know that Diego was afraid of the future, afraid of seeing Luther and… afraid of being in love.

The first thing he found was a small produce stand, all closed up due to the stormy weather. He pulled off in the small gravel parking lot, making Klaus sit all the way up in his seat and look around. He looked at Diego with a concerned frown.

“Shit Diego, I wasn’t serious. Please don’t leave me here,” he said, and Diego could hear the panic in his voice. If he didn’t know Klaus was legitimately afraid, he would have laughed. 

“You really think after everything we’ve been through I would just drop you off on the side of the road?” Diego said, putting the car in park and shifting in his seat to give Klaus his undivided attention. It appeared he really _did_ think that, though, and Diego realized that Klaus’ abandonment issues went even deeper than he thought. 

“I don’t know! Why are we stopped then?” Klaus asked, still not convinced he wasn’t being ditched. “I’m sorry if I pissed you off.”

“Baby, listen to me,” Diego said, reaching over and grabbing Klaus’ trembling hand, holding it tightly between them. “I am _not_ leaving you, okay? I wouldn’t dream of it, you haven’t done anything wrong. I just wanted to talk without looking at the road.”

“Okay. What’s wrong, then?” Klaus asked, still not looking convinced he hadn’t been the one to put Diego in a bad mood. Then again Diego did say it was partly his fault, which was a huge mistake, clearly.

“I’m just… I’m,” Diego started, but he could feel his throat trying to close up and stop the vulnerability from spilling out. He pushed himself, because Klaus needed to know. He needed to know fucking everything. How could Diego be sitting there thinking _‘I love him_ ’ if he couldn’t even tell him what was in his heart? “I guess I’m just afraid, and I’m sorry I haven’t been cheerful, but it’s definitely not you.”

“Afraid of what? Of Luther?”

“Yeah, that’s part of it. It’s all very complicated but connected,” Diego said, taking a deep breath and trying to compose his thoughts. “Like, I’m afraid of seeing Luther because… because I hate him _so_ fucking much. I have no idea how I’m going to keep myself from snapping on him when he’s right in my face, using that condescending tone like he thinks I’m just fucking worthless garbage, an inconvenient pain in his ass he has to deal with. But then again, I guess I am.” 

“Diego don’t, you are not worthless, or garbage. He’s just a prick,” Klaus said, shaking his head and frowning deeper. Diego shrugged with one shoulder.

“Why would he see me as anything else, though? And even though he fucked my entire life up, I have to kiss his ass and be grateful for his help. Because he doesn’t have to help me, or you, but he is because… because he’s probably not as shitty as an adult as I remember him as a kid. And that pisses me off too, ‘cuz I’ve spent my whole life hating him and I don’t know how to just turn it off, you know?” Diego rambled. Klaus just nodded, letting him speak. “And now I have to swallow my pride and kneel in front of him like fucking king, or he won’t help us anymore. And then what? We would be so fucked.”

“You don’t have to kneel, literally or figuratively. He’s not a king, he’s just rich, and I think he understands that you have a lot of reason to resent him. Just.. don’t take a swing at him, even though you’d be justified if you did. He kind of has it coming, no matter what he does to help us, but still,” Klaus said, squeezing Diego’s hand and running the fingers of his other hand over Diego’s forearm. “I’m so sorry he’s our only option, I know it’s not easy. I believe in you though, you will control yourself.”

“I don’t know... I don’t know how it’s going to go at all, and it’s twisting me up inside. Even if I can pretend I don’t hate him, I have no idea how he can even help. I’m so afraid whatever he’s planning will fall through, or will still end with us behind bars. I can’t go back, Klaus. And I can’t lose you, either. I-” he started, then bit his tongue. He still couldn’t make himself say ‘I love you.’

“You’re not going to lose me, and you’re not going back to prison. We will find a way,” Klaus said, but his eyes were glassy and filling with tears he was fighting.

“We keep saying that, but that’s not true,” Diego said, shaking his head. “If either of us get locked up, we will never see each other again, and I’ll be killed. I’m so fucking terrified, I wish he would have just told me the plan before we took off. At least then I could be trying to convince myself that it might work.”

“Did you say he had a counterfeiter? Maybe… maybe he’s going to get us new identities or something?” Klaus asked, scritching his chinhairs while he thought about it.

“Do you know how much a whole new identity costs? Like, hundreds of thousands of dollars. There is no way Luther would do that for me even, let alone both of us,” Diego said. “Plus, I couldn’t live with myself if he spent that kind of money on me, anyway.”

“Why not? You did your time for a crime that shouldn’t have even sent you to jail. You killed a bad man. Cops abuse and kill people for less and get away with it,” Klaus said, trying to catch Diego’s eye but he couldn’t look anywhere but their clasped hands. “Hey, if anyone deserves another chance, you do. Plus, you heard Agnes, Luther is so fucking loaded, I doubt that kind of money would even hurt him that much. It’s not like it’s millions of dollars. He’s probably got diamond-studded watches more expensive than a new identity would cost him.”

“That doesn’t _matter_. It’s not about affording, it’s about me being able to accept something like that. I don’t want a new life if it was a handout. Don’t you ever feel bad, or like, guilty when you have to accept help?” Diego asked. Klaus shook his head.

“Not usually, unless I know they are helping me at their own detriment, like if I know they don’t have the resources to help me but still try. I guess I’m selfish, or shameless, maybe? Or entitled or whatever,” Klaus said with a shrug. “But if people feel compelled to help me, who am I to turn them down?”

“I guess that’s just one of our differences, but you’re not selfish. And besides, we have no idea if that’s even the plan, so there is no point in speculating, anyway. Maybe he’ll just ship us out of the country on a private jet, who knows,” Diego said, finally looking at Klaus’ face. God, even when he was frowning with concern and sympathy, he was still the most gorgeous person Diego had ever seen. He really just had to tell Klaus what was weighing heaviest on his heart, in both a good and terrifying way. “But… whatever happens I just. I want you to know something.” 

“What?” Klaus asked, but he sounded like he expected it to be something bad rather than something good. At least Diego hoped he would think it was good, anyway.

“Look, I don’t know what’s going to happen at Luther’s. I don’t know if we’re going to get out of this anytime soon, or ever, but I can’t go there without telling you how much you’ve changed my life, just in case things get really fucked up and I don’t get the chance,” Diego started, swallowing hard before he continued. Klaus’ eyebrows raised as he waited for Diego to keep talking. “I… I know I haven’t kn-known you very long, and I don’t know if it’s too soon to feel the way I do. I don’t know how to navigate this feeling whatsoever, and maybe I’m just being foolish. But I think it’s real. And maybe it’s just because of the shit we’ve been through together, so I feel closer to you than I might have otherwise. Fuck, I would hate if this was just some messed up trauma bond -”

“What are you trying to say, honey?” Klaus asked, his expression changing from concern, to confusion and now to curiosity. He bit his lip, and Diego thought he saw a smile twitch at the corner of his mouth. Diego held on to his hand for dear life, the only thing keeping him grounded at the moment. His heart was pounding and he might be on the verge of hyperventilating but he was _going_ to do this, god damn it. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he spoke again. 

“I’m trying to s-say… I really care about you, and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. You’ve made me better in so many ways, you don’t even know. I’m sorry I’m difficult, I’m sorry I’m not like, Prince Charming, or even that nice of a person sometimes, but… when I’m with you I want to be better. I love spending time with you, you make me feel like I want to _live_ , and I can’t say that about too many things. You’re so funny and weird and cool. You’re strong as hell, and you’ve got such a good heart and-” Diego had to stop for another steadying breath. Klaus was definitely smiling softly now, like he knew exactly what Diego was trying to say. The corners of his eyes crinkled up with his smile, making a tear leak down his face, which he didn’t bother to wipe away. Ugh, Diego was going on for way too long, he knew it.

“Just say it, Diego, it’s okay,” Klaus said, his voice barely louder than a whisper, almost drowned out by the patter of rain on the windshield. 

“I- Klaus, I think.. No, I _know._ I know how I feel, and I don’t care if it’s not the right time, or too soon or if it’s because of what we’ve been through. I don’t want to face the rest of this fucked up journey without… without telling you that I l-love you. You’re so fucking wonderful, and I’m sorry I made you feel like you did something wro-,” Diego’s words were cut short. 

Klaus had taken his hand away from Diego, unbuckled his seatbelt and started crawling over the middle console on his knees so fast that Diego couldn’t even figure out what he was doing until - until Klaus was in his lap, straddling him and holding both sides of his face. Diego figured it out just in time to close his eyes for Klaus’ kiss, letting his hands rest on Klaus’ hips as he kissed the breath right out of Diego’s lungs. 

“Say it again,” Klaus whispered softly into his mouth, one of his hands traveling up the side of Diego’s head to tangle in his hair as he kissed him softly again. Diego let out a puff of laughter over Klaus’ face. 

“I love you,” Diego whispered against his lips. He felt his heart clench when it made Klaus choke back a soft noise and kiss him harder and grip his jaw harder, too. Only for a moment, and then he wrapped his arms around Diego and buried his face between his own bicep and Diego’s neck. He was definitely crying, Diego felt his tears on his skin, could feel him shaking as he wrapped his own arms around Klaus’ waist. “Why are you crying? Isn’t that a good thing?”

“Yes, I just… I haven’t heard that in a really long time,” he said, his voice catching on almost every word. Diego held him tighter and turned his face to kiss just behind Klaus’ ear.

“Then I want to tell you every day, anytime you need to hear it,” Diego whispered. 

“I love you, too,” Klaus said, still hugging Diego with tears on his cheeks. The surge of love in Diego’s heart somehow tripled in intensity just from hearing Klaus say it back. Of course he already figured Klaus felt that way too, but having the confirmation was out of this world levels of exhilaration. 

Klaus leaned back from the hug to give Diego a cute, teary-eyed smile, until he leaned back a tiny bit too far and his ass beeped the car horn. They both jumped so hard Klaus accidentally beeped it again, turning their surprise into giggles. It was definitely too small of a space for Klaus to be straddling Diego’s lap the way he was, but Diego wouldn’t change that moment for the world. Klaus shifted off his lap and gracelessly flung himself back into the passenger’s seat, then buckled his seat belt again to indicate he was ready to go. 

It was unusual of Klaus to not have more to say, but Diego figured he must just need time to process all the super cheesy, heartfelt shit Diego just said. He meant it though, every word, and now that he’d said it he felt a little bit lighter, at least some of the weight lifted off his chest. There was still a heavy cloud of uncertainty and anxiety hovering over him, but also maybe a bit of a silver lining trying to shine through, too. Diego was never the kind of guy to look for silver linings, but he thought _I could be facing all of this without him_ , and he realized things could definitely, definitely be worse. He had so much to be grateful and happy about, even in the face of all the horrific bullshit. And really, they _both_ deserved that little shred of warm light through the storm. 

As Diego left the produce stand and started down the long, boring road toward Seattle, Klaus reached over and took his hand. Diego gladly let him hold it, and he didn’t let go for a really long time. They passed through Wasco, Oregon, then crossed the border into Washington before Klaus finally let go of Diego’s hand and decided he felt like talking. 

“Hey…,” Klaus started, and Diego looked over at him and saw him picking at the hem of his black dress, looking self conscious. Not a look he frequently had, so Diego knew something was bothering him again.

“What?” Diego asked, glancing back and forth between him and the road.

“Do you think I should change before we get there?”

“If you want to, but what’s your reason?”

“I don’t… I don’t want Luther to think I’m a freak or anything,” Klaus said, then crossed his arms over himself. 

“Klaus, listen to me. _Fuck_ _Luther_ , okay? Do not change or dim yourself for that asshole. I will literally punch his nose to the other side of his face if he even says one word to you-” Diego started, but Klaus was already shaking his head.

“That’s nice, and I appreciate you defending me and everything, but we still need his help, you know? I don’t need to be _me_ while we’re there, I have plenty of time after that to do what I want,” Klaus said, and it made Diego’s heart drop to hear him talk like that. 

What happened to his completely unapologetic, fearless, fuck-everyone’s-opinion partner in crime? Diego loved that about him, he would hate to see Klaus dim his shine for anyone, let alone fucking Luther. But he had to wonder… maybe that unshakable confidence that Diego loved so much had partially been made possible by the drugs. Back at Agnes’, he hadn’t really had anyone new to worry about impressing. Luther was going to be the first person he met sober for the first time, dressed in a way that might be controversial to some. Diego resolved that moment to spend every free minute he had trying to help Klaus build his confidence back up, because Diego refused to let sobriety or Luther or anything stifle the things he loved most about Klaus.

“Klaus, listen, if you want to change because it will make you feel more comfortable, then no problem. Do what makes you feel best. But don’t do it for Luther’s comfort level. He’s definitely not worth it, and I’m going to be proud to stand there with you either way, okay?” Diego said, trying to catch Klaus’ eye as best he could while he was cruising down the road. 

“Okay,” Klaus said, but he didn’t sound convinced. 

“If it helps you make your decision, Luther is an asshole for a lot of reasons, but I don’t think that’s one of them. I’ve never heard him say any homophobic shit, or anything like that. I mean he might think it’s unexpected, but I don’t think it’s going to have any bearing on whether he helps us or not,” Diego said. And then another thought occurred to him as he remembered Luther calling Klaus his boyfriend. “Hey, while we’re kind of on the subject…”

“Hmm?” Klaus mumbled, clearly back down in the dumps just at the thought of meeting Luther looking the way he did at the moment.

“When… when I introduce us, what do you want me to call us? Like… partners? Or boyfriends? Or like… comrades? Team mates?” Diego said, listing off a couple ridiculous ones just to make Klaus chuckle, and it worked. “Uhhh… butt buddies?”

“Okay _stop,_ ” Klaus said, rolling his eyes affectionately and shaking his head. “I can’t believe you just said that last one, Jesus.”

“Sorry, I’m new at like, all of this, including being considered anyone’s _anything_ couple related,” Diego said. Klaus just nodded and then stared at him with a smirk for a few moments, like he was actually deciding on the spot what he would be comfortable with.

“I wanna be your boyfriend, Diego,” Klaus finally said with a little nod and warm smile. Diego smiled, too.

“Okay, cool,” Diego said, and then another thought immediately came to him. “But like, in the future if you want to change it, that’s okay. Just tell me. I want you to be comfortable.”

“God, how are you even real?” Klaus said, leaning over and straining against his seatbelt to kiss Diego on the cheek. “Thank you,” he said softly close to Diego’s ear before sitting back down.

“We still have like three hours to drive and my ass is so tired of sitting in this seat,” Diego complained, shifting on the cushion after another half hour of driving.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m going to meet your brother and his movie star wife in like three and a half hours, I’m gonna be so starstruck,” Klaus said holding his cheeks with both hands. 

“His wife is a movie star? How do you know that and I don’t?” Diego asked, frowning because nobody ever told him that.

“Oh, Agnes told me. We actually watched one of her movies with Agnes while we were there… I thought you knew, oh my god,” Klaus said, snorting a little. “The one with the wheelchair bound lawyer, that was her.”

“Oh… I can’t say I remember her face, but I remember her hair. She had a lot of it,” Diego said, but he was more dumbstruck that Klaus knew more about his own supposed sister-in-law than he did. Diego had never even contemplated her existence outside of the one time she answered the phone, but he felt a little bad for not even asking Agnes about her. “But don’t be nervous, she isn’t anything to you.”

“ _Nervous_? I’m excited as hell to meet her! They are such a smoking hot power couple,” Klaus said, and Diego had heard enough. If he ever heard Klaus refer to Luther as ‘smoking hot’ again, he might genuinely consider leaving him on the side of the road. His pride couldn’t take it.

“Well, I’m glad you’re excited. I could not possibly care less, but for your sake I hope she’s cool,” Diego said, but Klaus was staring at the side of his face.

“Did you just get jealous?” Klaus asked with a raised eyebrow, making Diego frown even deeper. How did Klaus know? He hadn’t even let his face so much as twitch about it… _ugh,_ right. That thing he could do. 

“No? What are you talking about?” Diego lied, anyway. Klaus stared at him for a few more uncomfortable moments, like he was looking right into Diego’s soul and beyond. 

“Your mood shifted so rapidly, it literally felt like we drove under a waterfall that was made of both icy and boiling hot water at the same time,” Klaus said, an apologetic look already on his face. “Diego, I’m not saying I’m going to run off with either of them once we get there. They are just a good looking couple. It’s going to be okay.”

“I never said it wasn’t,” Diego said dismissively, but he was definitely pouting inside.

“Okay, as long as you’re not going to be salty and quiet again, that sucked,” Klaus said, but he didn’t seem to believe that Diego was okay with everything. 

Diego ignored him for a few moments, until he realized Klaus had lifted the arm rest and then started dragging a bunch of laundry out of his canvas bag and balling up the clothes over the mostly empty space between them. What the hell was he doing?? 

It only took a few more seconds before Diego figured out the answer. Klaus finished making a soft laundry mound in the empty space between the seats, then unbuckled his seatbelt again so he could lie down. He laid on his side on the car seat and clothes pile, his head resting on Diego’s thigh, knees drawn up and feet tucked next to the door. 

Diego’s first instinct was to reach down and pet Klaus’ windswept curls against his sweatpants, so he did exactly that. Klaus let out a soft, happy noise as Diego started scratching his fingers through his hair, and he felt some of the tension ease from his own shoulders. Then he started tracing Klaus’ jaw and neck with his knuckles, and then his fingertips. He heard Klaus’ breath hitch has Diego’s whole hand wrapped around his throat just under his jaw - such a weird thing to be into, but Diego knew Klaus liked it. He could tell by the way Klaus basically purred under his hand that he was getting exactly what he wanted by lying this way. Diego liked giving Klaus what he wanted, so they were both enjoying this more than Diego even expected to. 

Eventually Klaus rolled on his back and kicked his calves up on the open window ledge, bare feet and black-painted toes out of the window in the wind. He looked sleepy and satisfied, a lazy smile on his lips as he stared up at Diego with pretty green eyes. It made Diego forget about his stiff back and sore ass for a while, which was nice, so he rested his lax hand over Klaus’ chest. Then Klaus leaned his face forward just enough to kiss Diego's forearm, just above the crown brand, and then drop his head back down. It made Diego feel both loved but also uncomfortable, because he hated being reminded about that ugly fucking burn on his arm that he could never wipe away. Branded like cattle, like property, but Klaus loving him in spite of that neutralized his shame somewhat. 

“You make me feel like I’m living in a Lana del Rey song,” Klaus said, as if Diego was supposed to have any fucking idea what that meant.

“Whatever that means,” Diego said. 

“Just like. I don’t know how to explain, just trust me. Someday I’ll find one of her CDs at a thrift store and show you, if I ever think about it again,” Klaus said, but his voice was trailing off and his eyes were fluttering closed. 

Klaus was definitely about to fall asleep like that. He couldn’t do it forever because a cop would know he wasn’t wearing a seatbelt if they saw his feet out of the window. They were in the middle of nowhere though, so it was fine for the time being. Diego loved watching him sleep, but he also kind of wanted his lunch that Agnes had packed for them. He wouldn’t move a sleeping Klaus for anything, though, so he was basically just going to starve until Klaus decided to sit up.

After about 15 minutes Diego started to get paranoid about cops, so he roused him just enough to tell him to sit a different way. Instead of waking up, Klaus just rolled back over on his side and kept his head on Diego’s thigh. Adorable. So Diego let him sleep that way for almost two hours, until he realized he needed to stop for gas soon. 

That ruined any warm fuzzies he’d been feeling, because he literally had not spoken to anyone in person other than Klaus or Agnes in so long. Even though it was probably unlikely, he was still terrified of a stranger being able to identify him from the news or something, and ruining everything for him. Still, he had to go in, and Klaus was going to have to sit up once he found a place. 

Diego decided a busier gas station would actually be better in this case, so he chose the first one off the freeway in Easton, Washington. They were only about an hour from Newcastle, but the gas gauge said they were about to be walking, so Diego didn’t want to take the risk of trying to make it. Plus, he’d realized something else while Klaus was asleep - it was almost his _birthday_. Diego had no idea how he could remember that Klaus said October 1st, but he happened to think about it on the drive. Now was going to be the only time Klaus wouldn’t be by his side, so… maybe Diego could use what was left of the cash in his wallet to get Klaus something small in the gas station? Like nothing big, but if he knew Klaus, _anything_ at all would be more than he was expecting, so Diego figured he couldn’t possibly fuck it up. 

“Hey, I need you to sit up so I can go into this gas station,” he said after he parked the car at a pump. He pet Klaus’ hair and then shook his shoulder. “Klaus, wake up.”

“I was dreaming about chickens. They were like, tiny little dragon chickens that could breathe fire and I wanted one so bad. Their eggs were red instead of white or brown, and tasted like sriracha sauce,” Klaus babbled, rubbing both eyes with his knuckles. 

“I would eat an egg that naturally tasted like sriracha,” Diego said, and Klaus nodded vigorously despite his post-sleepy expression. 

“Right? Like why have we not genetically modified this yet? And the fire breathing, too,” Klaus said, then yawned and blinked a few times before looking around. “What town are we in? How long did I sleep?”

“About two hours, and this is Easton. Do you want anything in here?” Diego asked. Klaus shook his head.

“I’ll pump the gas, though,” Klaus said, but then Diego shook his head too.

“No, don’t worry about it. Just stay in the car. The less of us they see the better,” Diego said, and he could tell that made Klaus sad. “Hey.”

Diego waited for him to look up, then he leaned over and kissed him. It was just a quick one, but it made Klaus smile, which was the goal. He didn’t like leaving Klaus with a pout on his face, and a quick kiss usually did the trick to cheer him up. Diego was just standing up and about to shut the car door when Klaus spoke.

“Hey,” he said, much like Diego had seconds earlier. 

“Hmm?” Diego said, ducking his head back in the car to see Klaus smiling.

“I love you,” he said, smirking because he knew he caught Diego off guard. 

“O-oh, I love you, too,” Diego said, his heart doing somersaults like it was the first time, again. He hoped the euphoria of hearing Klaus say that never wore off. Diego was really happy it came out so easily for him, too. There was barely any hesitation beyond the initial surprise of hearing it, and it just felt really nice, and also took the edge off the anxiety about going in the store, too. 

It was a nice day, plenty of sunshine and still a warmer day despite being on fall’s doorstep, so there were a lot of people out and about. Diego tried to keep his cool, just blend in with these folks and get what he needed. The problem with that was that he wasn’t sure what he needed, other than gas. What could he get Klaus that he would appreciate?

Diego walked to the candy aisle, because he knew Klaus had a ridiculous sweet tooth and basically never got tired of sugar. He eliminated all the chocolate, because Klaus was more into the other kinds of candy. Diego stared at rows and rows of junk he would never eat himself, and he spotted a bag of Jolly Ranchers. He knew for 100% fact that Klaus liked those. Specifically the blue flavor, because leave it to Klaus for his favorite to be the flavor that tasted like insanity.

He grabbed three bags and hoped they all had a good amount of blue ones in them, because he was just going to give Klaus a pile of those ones and maybe like a card, or handwritten letter or something cheesy if he could make himself. Diego also grabbed an enormous green apple Blowpop, something to give Klaus now, because he kind of liked making Klaus smile with little tokens of affection. Plus, Klaus was honestly easy to buy for, because Diego knew he would literally treasure anything he was given. Like, he could pick up a rock and tell Klaus it made Diego think of him, and he would keep it forever. The candies would be perfect for a first birthday present. 

There was no trouble while Diego checked out or pumped gas, not a single head turned to look at him, so that was nice. However, while he was pumping he looked in the car and he could see that Klaus had changed his clothes. It made Diego’s mood dip just a little, because he knew Klaus was struggling with how Luther and Allison would perceive him. No matter what Diego did or said, Klaus was going to still be self conscious about how two celebrities felt about him. 

_Ugh._ Diego had hardly considered Luther a fucking celebrity, but that was… kinda true. It made no difference to him, though, because Luther was still just an asshole in his book, first and foremost. 

When Diego got in the car he noticed Klaus had put on… the outfit he had on the night they ran away together. Cropped tie-dye shirt and his lace-up leather pants, the pink Converse knock-offs Agnes bought him, and he’d re-applied his makeup. He looked good, of course, because he always did, but seeing him look exactly that way also triggered a little PTSD for Diego that he wasn’t even aware he’d had. However, he also remembered Klaus saying something similar about not wanting to wear the clothes he’d seen Diego’s blood all over, and that shirt was one of them. It bothered him even deeper to know that Klaus would rather wear something that could be potentially triggering himself just because he was paranoid about Luther and Allison’s opinion, but he had to let it go.

“Why did you get in the trunk?” Klaus asked as soon as Diego sat down.

“I put my wallet in there, because it falls out of these sweats too easily,” Diego said immediately, and it wasn’t even a lie. Sure, he had also opened it to hide the candy in his bag, but Klaus certainly didn’t need to know that. Diego distracted him from any follow up questions by holding up the Blowpop.

“Oh, hell yeah, thank you!” Klaus said, reaching for the sucker, but Diego pulled it back before he could snatch it. Klaus frowned at him.

“Drink that bottle of water down there and you can have this,” Diego said, making Klaus frown deeper. 

“I’m not five years old, Diego,” Klaus said. “Plus, I already drank one while you were in there.”

“You did?” Diego asked. Klaus moved his legs over and sarcastically gestured to the water bottles on the floorboard. There were only two left, and Diego only had one of them. 

“I drained it and then filled it full of piss, if you want to check the back seat,” Klaus said, folding his arms. "You told me not to get out."

“No, I believe you. Sorry,” Diego said, finally handing Klaus the sucker. “You did that right here in front of everyone walking by? And changed?”

“I’ve pissed in 1,000 bottles, nobody noticed anything,” Klaus said, then shoved his unwrapped green sucker in his mouth. “Okay let’s roll.”

“Only one hour,” Diego said, but it was mostly for himself. He had to start mentally preparing for meeting Luther, plus he was also willing his stomach to chill out because the sandwiches in those lunch bags were probably spoiled by now and he could make it until dinner. Only one hour.

It ended up taking a little longer than an hour, since they had hit some traffic and also Klaus accidentally told Diego to take a left when he meant a right. They made it, though, and then Diego realized he had no idea who he was looking for, or what kind of car. Why did he always forget to ask Luther the important questions until it was too late? Now they were sitting in the parking lot of a little local park, but there were at least 10 other cars here, so how were they supposed to know what to look for?

“Maybe there?” Klaus said, pointing with his chewed up sucker stick out the window to his right. Diego followed the stick to a black SUV, much like the one Hazel had. Something didn’t feel right about that, though. 

Diego turned his head back to look out of his window at the same time he started speaking. “I don’t know, that see- _FUCK!!!_ ”

There was a blonde white woman standing outside his window, staring in and waving with a bright red-lipped smile. She was lucky the window was rolled up on his side or he would have punched her right in the fucking face. He and Klaus had both screamed expletives and had mild heart attacks, but this woman seemed like she knew them, and was unfazed by their shock. 

“Who the fuck-” Diego started.

“Roll down the window!” Klaus said.

“What if she’s a bad guy!” 

“We’re _already_ the bad guys, Diego! She’s gotta be with Luther, just roll down the fucking window!”

“Okay! Christ,” Diego yelled, then took a deep breath and rolled down the window. Manually, since this car was as old as he was.

“Hello boys, I’ve been waiting for you,” she said, making Diego shiver and gawk at her through the window. He wasn’t expecting a woman, which was his bad, but he definitely wasn’t expecting a woman like _this._

Her voice was like velvet in a way that both turned Diego on and made his skin crawl at the same time. She had on a tight, black dress that was dated but classy, with red heels that were impossibly high and smoky, hooded blue eyes. Everything about her was like… stuck out of time, including her long-drag cigarette holder and a hat with a small, black net veil over half her face. 

Upon second glance Diego realized the veil was covering quite a large scar across the left side of her jaw and bottom lip, marring an otherwise flawless, beautiful face. Diego had never been willing to trust anyone quite as fast, but maybe seeing someone with a considerable face scar like his own made him more soft for her than he might have been otherwise. 

“Say something,” Klaus said, nudging his forearm. Diego closed his mouth and cleared his throat before speaking. 

“U-uh, hey. I assume Luther sent you?” Diego asked, even though he already knew the answer.

“Yes, sir. Mr. Hargreeves is waiting for you both back at his estate,” she said with a wink at Diego. Then she stepped back from the car a few paces, like she wanted Diego to get out, then took a hit from the tip of her cigarette holder. “Leave the keys in it, by the way.”

“I have never seen someone that was literally a snake in human form like this,” Klaus whispered, glaring at the woman with squinted eyes. Diego frowned at him.

“Klaus, be nice, you don’t know that,” Diego said without thinking. Klaus looked at him with raised eyebrows and an emotion that Diego couldn’t quite place. 

“Oh _I_ don’t know that? Right. I know a snake when I see one, Diego. And when the hell did you start trusting literally anyone, anyway? Is it because she called you ‘ _sir?_ ’” Klaus asked, but it was definitely more of an accusation. Diego wasn’t dumb enough to miss that much. 

“I just want to get out of this parking lot as fast as possible, and she’s literally here _for_ us. What choice do I have but to trust her?” Diego asked. 

“Tick tock, boys. Time is precious,” she called with a sing-song voice, but Klaus was already unbuckling his seat belt and getting out of the car with his bag. Why in the world was Klaus acting this way? Normally he was the friendly one, here. As Diego was climbing out of the car he heard the woman talking again. “You must be Klaus?”

“Who’s asking?” Klaus asked suspiciously, stopping at the trunk as he waited for Diego to pop it. The woman chuckled, and Diego stopped moving to hear what she had to say. 

“They call me ‘The Handler,’” she said, which Klaus repeated back to her sarcastically.

“Klaus!” Diego hissed, but Klaus was ignoring him.

“And why do they call you that?” 

“Well, what do you call what I’m doing right now? I think it sounds better than ‘chauffeur,’ don’t you?” she asked rhetorically, not shaken by Klaus’ suspicion whatsoever as she took another drag and then ashed on the pavement. “You know, Luther said he might give me attitude, but not you.”

“Luther doesn’t know the first thing about me,” Klaus snapped.

“Don’t be so sure, sugar,” The Handler said, and Diego had heard enough.

“Oookay, how about we get the hell out of here and then resume the pissing contest in the car,” Diego said, opening the trunk. He watched Klaus rip off the plastic patch he’d been wearing on his arm, then set his bag on the pavement to dig out his cigarettes. This woman was really getting to him, and Diego wasn’t sure why.

Diego had noticed Klaus frantically start throwing his own things on the pavement looking for his lighter, so he dug in his sweatpants pocket for his own and held it out. "Here."

Klaus snatched it as he stood and lit his cigarette, taking a deep inhale and then a long, cloudy exhale. Diego decided that looked amazing, so he held out his fingers, waiting for Klaus to pass it to him. Instead Klaus frowned deeper at his hand.

“No, you quit,” Klaus said, tucking the cigarette between his lips and crossing his arms.

“So? I’m unquitting for a few minutes,” Diego said, but Klaus shook his head with furrowed eyebrows. 

“Uhn-mmh,” Klaus mumbled with lips pressed around the filter, smoke pluming out of his nostrils. He gestured toward the trunk with a head nod, so Diego sighed heavily and started picking up the stuff. He could really use the cigarette to calm his nerves, but not bad enough to fight Klaus for it. He had more important things to worry about.

“Right this way,” the woman said cheerfully as soon as they gathered all their shit. Her heels clicked hard on the pavement as she walked toward a shiny all-black car that Diego couldn’t recognize the model of right off the cuff, but it was… over the top, just like her.

“Are we being picked up by James Bond? What the fuck kind of chauffer can afford something like that?” Klaus whispered next to Diego’s shoulder as they walked a few feet behind her across the parking lot.

“The one that works for a zillionare? Or maybe she’s smart with her money, I don’t know,” Diego whispered back, and Klaus rolled his eyes. 

Diego realized immediately that he was just supposed to agree with Klaus and not think of excuses, but it was too late to backpedal. Nevertheless, it made Klaus stop harping on about this woman and her credibility, which Diego appreciated right at this present moment.

The interior of the car was black and silver with red leather stripes down the middle of the seats; so fucking crisp and clean that it looked and smelled like she stole it right off a car lot on the way there. Maybe she did? 

_Oh!_ Diego realized this must be _Luther’s car,_ not hers. That made sense, but the car did look like it was made for this woman, anyway.

“I feel like I’m sitting in a Louboutin shoe,” Klaus said as he slid next to Diego behind the driver’s seat.

“Allison does have expensive taste,” The Handler said as she adjusted the rearview mirror to look at them for a few seconds. Oh, so it was Allison’s car, that made even more sense. It didn’t change Klaus’ attitude whatsoever, though.

“And nobody thought it would be conspicuous of you to pick us up at a tiny little pedestrian park in a fucking porche?” Klaus snarked, but then another question of seemingly more importance occurred to him immediately after. “Wait, who’s taking the other car if no one is with you?”

“Who said no one was with me?” The Handler said as she started the engine, making Klaus narrow his eyes impossibly smaller. “Don’t you worry about it. The car will be taken somewhere safe.”

Klaus turned to give Diego a ‘ _can you believe this bitch?_ ’ face, and Diego just nodded, because for the first time he felt himself becoming suspicious, too. Why did she have to talk like that?

“Well, he’s worried because Agnes gave him that car before we left. He has a right to know where it’s being taken,” Diego said, and it felt like a little spell on him had been broken. He should have been backing Klaus up this whole time. 

The Handler turned her head to look at him with icy blue eyes that made him feel a little breathless and intimidated. How the fuck was _Diego_ feeling intimidated by this person that couldn’t even beat him in an arm wrestling contest, let alone actually do anything to hurt him?

“I don’t like to repeat myself,” she said, all the sing-song tone from her voice gone. Once again Diego found himself both a little turned on and a little afraid at the same time. “It will be safe in Luther’s garage before you know it.”

“Thank you. Why did you have to be cryptic about it first, damn,” Klaus muttered, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring out of the window on his side.

Neither of them spoke again, but Diego couldn’t be bothered to care right then. Being in this nice car was just a reminder of what he was about to walk into, who he was about to meet. His anxiety was climbing with every minute that passed, until he legitimately contemplated just making the woman stop the car to let him out. He couldn’t do this, he could not look Luther in his fucking douche face and not hit him on sight, or at least rip into him so harshly that he would end up hitting Diego first. How the fuck could he swallow his pride? 

_How can I do this_ \- but then he looked over at Klaus, waving out of the window he’d rolled down at a big yellow dog being walked across the street. Precious. That’s why Diego was going to keep it together. For him, and for them as a… a couple. Still wild for Diego to even think of it like that, but it made the corners of his mouth perk up, anyway.

“Only about two more minutes now,” The Handler said, and Diego realized he hadn’t been paying attention to their surroundings at all.

His heart raced impossibly faster as he whipped his head around and realized they were driving up a hill on a shady, tree-lined street, taking them just barely outside the major city limit. Autumn had touched Washington a little sooner than Oregon, and all the trees’ leaves were a mix of green, yellow and orange. It would be pretty if they didn’t make Diego hyper-aware that this was real, and he was really close to Luther’s house.

There were no other houses on this winding road, and the trees got thicker the further up they went. The car stopped in front of a 10 foot tall wrought iron fence with even taller gates that had a fancy capital “H” on each side. Diego finally realized they hadn’t been driving on a road, it was just Luther’s ridiculously long fucking _driveway_ that set his mansion back from the city.

“Are we here?” Diego asked, even though he knew the answer. His brain had officially gone offline because he couldn’t handle what was happening, he barely even registered the words leaving his very dry mouth. 

“Very astute of you, handsome,” The Handler said, looking back at him with another wink as she unbuckled her seatbelt. “Sit tight, I just have to get clearance.”

Diego didn’t even want to look at Klaus, he could already feel the heat of his jealousy radiating off of him just from hearing her call Diego ‘handsome.’ It’s almost like she was going out of her way to piss Klaus off. Maybe Luther told her to, just to see how he would react? But why would he do that? Fuck - who cares, Diego was about to see Luther for the first time in eight years; for the first time since Luther looked the other way while Diego was sentenced to hard time for a crime that Luther could have helped justify with his testimony. It was really happening. Diego was going to be sick.

“You know who uses cigarette holders? Villains,” Klaus said the moment The Handler got out of the car. “She thinks she’s all Audrey Hepburn but she’s really Cruella de Vil. Except instead of my puppies she’s trying to steal my man.”

“Klaus, fucking _stop,_ she’s not stealing anything from you,” Diego said with an eyeroll, and he knew it was harsher than he intended. He was just way too stressed to listen to Klaus act jealous right now, especially when there was literally zero chance that anyone would make Diego leave him.

“You’re into her too, aren’t you? Don’t lie, I can see it in your eyes,” Klaus said, turning his narrowed, fiery gaze on Diego. 

“Yeah sure, I guess, but I promise that’s the last thing I care about right now,” Diego said with annoyance, but Klaus wasn’t done. 

“Sure doesn’t seem like it,” Klaus bit back, and for the first time Diego doubted his maturity. 

“So you’re allowed to call my brother hot to my face and I’m not allowed to be annoyed, but I think a girl is attractive for a minute and you’re ready to- to what? Fight her? Fight _me?_ What are you even doing right now?” Diego snapped. 

“I-” Klaus opened his mouth and closed it, and for once, he seemed at a loss for words. Diego couldn’t stop yet, though. His heart was beating too fast and he was feeling more afraid than ever, a little erratic even.

“I mean, _Jesus,_ Klaus. I’m about to face _Luther,_ and you _know_ how hard that’s going to be for me. Can you just stop being a jealous dick for five seconds and like -” Diego paused to breathe in and out rapidly a few times, his face pinched in concern, “I don’t know, hold my hand or something?”

“I’m so sorry,” Klaus breathed, then immediately reached across the seat to take Diego’s hand. He held it tight and brought it up to his mouth, kissing Diego’s knuckles as tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m _here,_ honey. I’m sorry. I’ve just never seen you be interested in someone else before so I just - nevermind, just forget it, it’s definitely not important. I love you, I’m here for you.”

“I love you, too. Now stop feeling threatened by this woman, okay? I literally do not give a fuck about her whatsoever,” Diego said, but The Handler dropped back down in her seat a few seconds after he spoke. She heard him, of course.

“That’s not very nice, Diego. Have I not been hospitable enough?” she said as she shut her car door and stared back at him. 

Diego was distracted, though. He was busy watching the enormous black gates open, their old metal hinges creaking ominously. He felt Klaus grip his hand tighter, and then slide across the seat to be as close to him as possible, his leather pants squeaking softly against the leather seat. There was no way Klaus couldn’t feel Diego shaking like a leaf. He would almost rather face Julio right now before Luther, which was ridiculous. 

As they made their way further up the driveway, the mansion finally came into view. Diego had heard Luther brag about this place for years, he’d made it seem like a palace fit for Gods. And… he wasn’t far off, by the looks of it. It was basically a fucking castle, easily as wide as an entire city block, standing dark and menacing against the pretty blue sky.

“Quick question, is your brother the cursed prince from Beauty and the Beast?” Klaus asked, also marveling at the mansion. Diego snorted.

“Nobody living in a house like this is cursed,” Diego said, feeling that familiar darkness trying to cloud his heart. Seeing it in person only fueled his bitterness and resentment. Why did Luther get to live in a place like this, safe and happy, while Diego wasted his youth rotting in a prison cell? It just wasn’t fucking fair. 

“Are you ready?” Klaus asked as soon as the car stopped in the middle of the circle driveway in front of the house. Diego felt Klaus give his hand a squeeze, so he turned to look at him. Klaus’ eyes were soft and understanding, but there was no way he could truly understand how hard it was going to be for Diego to stand in front of Luther, needing his help on top of it. 

“No, but I’m glad you’re with me, anyway,” Diego said. He had no idea that was even going to come out of his mouth, but he didn’t regret it, especially when he saw how touched Klaus was by it. 

“I’m glad to be here with you, too, babe,” Klaus said, then leaned forward and kissed Diego’s cheek. Diego was about to turn his head and catch his lips in a kiss, but he started speaking instead, ruining the moment in such a Klaus way. “Not to rush you, but I have to pee again, so let’s get up there.”

He didn’t even get a chance to respond before the door on his side of the car opened and The Handler gestured for them to exit. 

“Leave all your stuff, someone will take it to your room,” she said, and Diego didn’t like that idea at all, either, but he complied. As soon as they stepped out she shut their door with a sharp snap, then walked back to the driver’s side door and got back in the car without so much as a ‘farewell.’

Walking the long, dark stone path up to the front door felt like walking to the gallows for Diego. He would rather be doing literally anything else - well, except going back to prison, which was the only thing that kept his feet moving. That, and Klaus walking with him, tightly and securely holding his hand. Nothing could prepare him for the next step in their journey together, but at least they were taking it together. At least he knew they were in love, and that their bond had got them through unimaginable darkness so far.

So, with that little bit of encouragement, Diego took a deep breath and picked up the heavy metal ring of the old-timey door knocker and knocked on Luther's front door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- YOU DID IT. You read a 200k fic! What an accomplishment! ♥ Thank you so, so much for sticking it out this long, and I sincerely hope you return for Book Three when I finally get ready to post!
> 
> \- Okay so as of right now I have about 35k/100k (rough estimate) finished for the last book. I can not give you a solid date on when I'll start posting again and I'm so sorry for that. Like I said before, life has gotten increasingly more difficult since I started posting this story many months ago. I thought I would get a lot more done, but I work in the service industry so I did NOT get a nice comfy quarantine break like a lot of other people. Nor did I get a fat unemployment check. SO it's been rough, y'all. I'm doing my best, and rest assured that I will NOT abandon this fic. It's my heart and soul, and I'm gonna finish it without question. I would LIKE to start posting by November. That's my goal but don't hold me to that, because I have a lot to accomplish still. I just need y'all to be patient, and I thank you in advance. 
> 
> \- Not to fish for comments, but I would LOVE it if you let me know how you're feeling thus far. Being a writer that does this for free is rewarding, but only when my readers let me know what they like! It also helps me tweak the story based on your feedback! If you've commented a lot this whole time, BLESS YOU, YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME. If you've been reading the whole time and haven't said anything, pretty pleaseeee sound off. I'm listening, and every single comment is fuel in my writing gas tank ♥♥♥
> 
> \- Quick reminder that you are more than welcome to pester me on the fic aesthetic blog - ( @lawlesslovers ) for fic updates or questions or whatever you want to tell me! Also don't forget to subscribe to the story so you don't miss it when I start posting again!
> 
> \- And finally, I don't want to give you too many spoilers about what happens next, but I will tell you the name of the next part! "Book Three: The Fool" ;) - AND! You meet Luther, Allison, Five aaaaand maybe a surprise guest appearance at the end :D


	19. Book Three

**THE FOOLS' JOURNEY**

**Book Three:** _The Fool_


	20. The Fool: Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** And we're back!! If it's been forever since you've read the previous chapter you might want to skim the end of it, because this picks up immediately after the end of the last one.

_** August, 27th, 2015, 6:48pm ** _

“It’s okay, stop shaking,” Klaus whispered, giving Diego’s hand another squeeze as they waited.

The door opened a minute later, and Luther’s wife answered. Diego heard Klaus gasp next to him, immediately starstruck. She was taller than Diego expected, almost his height in her high heels. She was certainly pretty enough to be a movie star too, with flawless brown skin, perfect white teeth and long, thick, curly, golden-blonde hair that would give her a distinct image in Hollywood. And Diego didn’t need to know anything about fashion designers to know that her short, shimmery wine red dress was movie-star expensive, not to mention the diamonds sparkling on her ears, neck and fingers. 

“Hi, guys! Come on in, we just sat down for dinner. There’s a place set for you, too,” Allison said cheerfully, waving for them to step in. He wasn’t sure what he expected exactly, but Diego was definitely not prepared for a warm welcome. If she was judging them she hid it well. 

“Oh my gosh, you are even more beautiful in person,” Klaus said as they stepped into the massive foyer. “I’m Klaus.”

“Well, you must know my name, but it’s nice to meet you, Klaus,” she said, holding her hand out to shake his. Diego hoped she didn’t reach out to him next, but of course she did. He blanked his mind and shook her hand as quickly as possible, trying not to let himself hold any grudge against her just because she married one of Diego’s least favorite people. “It’s nice to meet you too, Diego. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“I’m sure you have,” Diego said, unable to conceal the bite of sarcasm. He half expected Klaus to elbow him for it, but Klaus was busy staring at the rest of the foyer with his mouth open in awe. 

“Is that chandelier made out of real crystal?” Klaus asked, pointing up and distracting Allison from Diego’s chilly greeting. They all looked up at the enormous brass chandelier hanging from the ceiling of the 2nd story, it’s dangling crystals casting soft prisms in the light on the walls and floor.

“It is! I picked it out myself. The one that was there before was this huge, ugly iron thing that _mysteriously_ fell in the middle of the night last year,” Allison said, and Diego could tell just by her tone that it was no mystery. She made it happen so she could replace it.

“No, you can’t swing on it, Klaus,” Diego said, somehow finding a shred of his sense of humor buried under all the anxiety. Klaus did elbow him softly then, smirking and blushing like Diego read his mind. 

“Shut up, I wasn’t gonna,” Klaus said, but he was smiling so cute that Diego almost forgot they were being watched. He decided he didn’t care, letting his gaze linger on how pretty Klaus was for a few extra seconds. Diego’s stomach interrupted them first, growling with urgent hunger.

“Alright, the food is getting cold, let’s go,” Allison said, starting to walk away. 

They followed her through the big, open foyer, past the grand staircase in the middle of it, and down a wide hallway to the left. They were coming up to an archway that presumably led to some fancy dining room and Diego wanted to drag his feet. Everything about being here was getting under his skin - Allison being so nice, the weight of the help Diego needed, the utterly disgusting decadence of this house, and - _Luther._

“Oh, I didn’t even hear the door,” Luther said, standing up from the first seat to the right of the end of a long dining room table. How could anyone ever hear the door this deep in a house this big, anyway?

“Sylvia told me while I was headed downstairs,” Allison said, walking over to Luther and standing on her toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. Diego was frozen in the doorway, and so was Klaus, since he was still gripping his hand tightly, probably too tight. 

Luther was in a nice grey suit and brick red tie that matched Allison’s dress, like he hadn’t changed since he left work, or maybe him and Allison had just got back from some fancy rich-people event since she was dressed up, too. He looked a lot older than Diego expected, and _way_ bigger, his broad shoulders and ridiculous biceps visible even under a stuffy suitcoat. Seeing him standing there made Diego want to hit him immediately despite being at least half a foot shorter than him, fist clenching at his side as his adrenaline spiked. He felt a hollowed swooping sensation in his stomach like he just went down the hill of a tall roller coaster, except the feeling didn’t go away.

“Well don’t just stand there, come eat!” Allison said, pulling out the chair next to Luther. Diego was so annoyed with his stomach when it growled in agreement. Too bad, Diego already decided he couldn’t eat here.

“Pick your seat, babe,” Klaus whispered, and Diego realized Klaus was waiting to see if he wanted to sit across from Luther or Allison before he sat down himself. Diego wasn’t sure which would be worse, but he figured Luther was going to want to speak to him, and Diego wanted answers, so he would suck it up. 

Luther’s eyes followed Diego from the doorway to the seat, and the tension was making him want to explode even more. When Luther mentioned being there for dinner on the phone, Diego never expected they would sit down to a dinner together like fucking _family._ Even with Klaus sitting next to him and giving his knee a little comforting squeeze, he was not okay. 

At least it seemed that Luther was also not okay either, and that gave Diego the slightest spark of satisfaction. He hadn’t even said so much as “hello,” to Diego and Klaus. Clearly he was at a loss for words, too. Neither one of them ever expected this to happen. The whole time Diego was in prison he’d swore to himself that he would choke Luther with his bare hands if he ever saw him again. Now here he was, sitting across from him at an elegant dinner table, staring into the blue eyes he’d hoped to never see again.

“Sooo, what are we eating? Is that salmon?” Klaus asked, breaking the silence and marveling at the ridiculously elaborate spread across the table. The silverware was real silver, the plates were fine china, the napkins were made of heavy cloth, the water glasses were crystal, there was a huge, fresh flower arrangement in the center of the table. Diego hated it all so much.

“Yes! Our chef asked what we wanted for our guests, but I had no idea what you guys would eat,” Allison said, then she gestured to a different big pot sitting on a hot plate. “But this is beef and barley soup, if you don’t like fish. And there’s cilantro lime rice, fresh baked asparagus and a side salad. Oh, and would anyone like some wine? My parents own a vineyard in California, so I can vouch for the quality.”

“The last wine I drank was a $3 bottle of Boone’s Farm, so anything is better quality,” Klaus said. Diego stared at the side of his face while he spoke, trying to telepathically tell him he should not have a glass of wine. Of course Diego wouldn’t stop him, but it just seemed like a bad idea for a recovering addict, even if it’s just one glass. Klaus noticed Diego within seconds, then changed his tune. “But I probably shouldn’t tonight. Long day of travel, you know? It will just knock me out.”

“Another night then,” Allison said with a warm smile, then reached forward and picked up the salad bowl so she could serve herself. “Well, dig in! I’m sure you’re both starving after being on the road.”

“Thank you, don’t mind if I do,” Klaus said, standing up so he could reach the serving spoon for the rice.

He fixed himself a plate, and didn’t bother asking Diego what he wanted. He just started piling Diego’s plate with food, too. Klaus must have sensed that he was shutting down inside, too overwhelmed with the entire situation to even move, and he was right. Diego watched his plate fill up with delicious smelling food while his stomach grumbled again, but the thought of eating - hell, the thought of _existing_ in front of Luther felt like weakness. He was already on his knees just by being here, he couldn’t take any further embarrassment.

“Hey, sorry, I forgot to ask on the way in, but is there a bathroom anywhere close to here?” Klaus asked, and Diego wanted to grab his hand and beg him not to leave. But he remembered Klaus saying he had to go back in the car, he couldn’t stop him. 

“Yeah, no problem. It’s just across the hall from here, a little to the right,” Allison said, pointing to the right with her fork that had a cherry tomato stabbed on the end of it. 

“Okay great,” Klaus said, then gave Diego a pointed but sympathetic look. “I’m sorry, I’ll be _right_ back.”

As soon as he dashed out of the room Allison looked back and forth between Diego and Luther while they blatantly avoided talking to each other, then she rolled her eyes and fluttered her lips. 

“God, maybe I will have that wine,” she said, dropping her fork with a clatter and picking up her wine glass before walking off to a set of double doors at the other end of the dining room. 

Diego wanted to beg her not to leave, too. Based on the brief flash of panic in Luther’s face, he was feeling the same. He didn’t want to be forced to have this moment with Diego, either. Still, Luther decided to bite the bullet first. 

“So where’s your face tattoo? I saw it in your prison release shot on the news,” he said, which could not possibly have been a worse way to start the conversation, other than maybe taking a potshot at Klaus. Thankfully he hadn’t been that stupid yet. Diego was going to have to make himself talk, because it was happening whether he liked it or not.

“Under enough foundation to build a house on,” Diego said, touching the thick makeup gently.

“That’s a pretty good coverup, I can’t tell at all,” Luther said, and Diego could tell he was doing his best to sound conversational rather than antagonistic. 

“Yeah, Klaus is very talented,” Diego said, and it was a little bit of a dare. He wanted to know if Luther had the balls to insult Klaus while Diego was sitting right in front of him, the way he had over the phone.

“So it would seem,” Luther said, watching Diego push his food around his plate with a fork instead of eating it like a pouting toddler. “You can eat, Diego. You’ve been on the road all day, I know you’re hungry.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” Diego said, dropping his fork on the plate. Now he definitely wasn’t going to eat. Luther rolled his eyes and muttered ‘ _whatever_ ’ under his breath, then focused on his own food. Diego watched him with narrowed eyes, feeling every bitter question he’d had for Luther all these years start bubbling to the surface. “Did you visit her?”

“What?” Luther said around a mouthful of rice.

“Did you visit mom while I was locked up? Or did you let her die alone?”

“ _Jesus, Diego._ Can we not do this right now?” Luther said, shaking his head.

“Answer the question,” Diego pressed.

“Look, I know you’ve got a lot to get off your chest. I get it, and you can let it all out eventually, slug me if you want, but please don’t do this in front of my wife,” Luther said, a note of pleading in his tone that made Diego want to push him even harder. 

“Oh, does she not know what you did? Wouldn’t want her to think any less of you,” Diego spat sarcastically, feeling his blood pressure starting to pound in his ears. Mostly because Luther literally gave him permission to punch him, and Diego wanted to do nothing else in the world more right now. 

“Yes, she knows. But she’s an adult and can understand the situation wasn’t quite as black and white as you make it out to be,” Luther said, a chill in his voice, too. “I just don’t want her to have to deal with your pissy attitude.”

“It’s a yes or no question. Did you visit mom?” Diego asked again. “Did you stand by and watch her struggle with finding a job, struggle with money while she lost her house and everything else she had?”

“ _YOU-_ ” Luther started to yell, his face screwed up in frustration, but he pulled it back. After a few deep breaths he continued, “You don’t get to blame me for what happened to her after what _you_ did _first._ ”

Diego started to stand immediately, blind fury controlling his body more than brains. He was going to lunge over this table and hurt Luther, he didn’t even care if -

“ _Diego, sit down!_ ” Klaus hissed, rushing up to Diego on his right side and holding him by the elbow. “ _Sit._ ”

Diego turned his furious glare on Klaus, but Klaus didn’t flinch or let go of his arm. He felt himself soften instantly seeing Klaus’ equally intense frown. His eyes were angry and disappointed, and it was sobering because Klaus was rarely angry. Diego was really fucking up here.

“I know this is hard for you but you have to just sit, okay?” Klaus said, giving Diego’s forearm a little reassuring squeeze. Diego only half felt it, but it helped bring him back to reality, anyway. He tried to push out the rest of his anger with a heavy sigh, then did as he was told.

“Everything okay?” Allison asked, walking back in carrying the wine bottle and a full glass of wine.

“Yep, I was just telling Diego how amazing the bathroom soap smelled,” Klaus said, still standing next to Diego’s chair. He held his hand in front of Diego’s nose. “Smell.”

“It just smells like flowers,” Diego said, sniffing Klaus’ wrist even though he couldn’t care less about bathroom soap.

“Yeah, but it smells like _every_ flower I’ve ever smelled all at once,” Klaus said, walking around Diego’s chair and sitting back down at the same time Allison did. 

“Yes! It’s actually called ‘ _Flowerbomb_ ,’ based on the perfume by Viktor & Rolf,” Allison said. Of course, why wouldn’t the fucking handsoap in this house be designer, too?

“It’s amazing, I want to spray everything I own with it,” Klaus said, holding his own hands to his face and closing his eyes while he sniffed again.

“You can just have a bottle of it, I have a few upstairs,” Allison said. Diego tuned out, busy watching Luther pick at his dinner the way Diego had been. Maybe he was feeling the guilt that Diego wanted him to feel, afterall.

“Are you shitting me? You’ll just let me have it?” Klaus said in disbelief. 

“Sure, I have so much I don’t need! When you guys get back tomorrow you should come up to my room and you can go through all the stuff I planned on donating,” Allison said, and Diego realized she was slurring her words ever so slightly. How many glasses of wine did she drink before she came back out here, anyway?

“Oh my god, that’s so nice, I would love that,” Klaus said, looking like Christmas came early. 

“Get back from where, exactly?” Diego interrupted. Allison looked at him like she forgot he was there, then she looked at Luther. 

“Oh, you didn’t tell them, honey?” she asked. Luther looked like he’d been shaken out of a trance. 

“What? Oh, no, not yet. I was getting to that,” Luther said, then cleared his throat. “So, in the morning, my assistant is going to take you to see a surgeon. She will be able to assess how much damage that bullet did, and see if there is any way to-”

“I’m not having surgery,” Diego interrupted, making Luther roll his eyes again. 

“I didn’t say you had to, but aren’t you worried about permanent damage? Are you having any pain or numbness? There’s no way you got shot and have zero repercussions,” Luther said. 

“I’m fine,” Diego snapped. He didn’t have to look at Klaus to know he was frowning at him for lying.

“It’s not a bad idea to have it looked at anyway, Diego,” Klaus said, but Diego ignored him. 

“What else are we doing? I assume that won’t take all day,” he said. 

“And then you’re going to meet my counterfeiter. He’s going to interview you and find you both matches for a new identity, and then in the next couple weeks he’ll have new social security cards and driver’s licenses, bank accounts, and high school diplomas for you,” Luther explained. 

“No, you’re not doing all that,” Diego said, making everyone else in the room sigh. Luther set his water glass down with a hard clunk.

“Why are you here then, Diego?” Luther asked, holding his palms up in question. “Do you want my help or not?”

“Yes,” Diego ground out, feeling his temper flaring up again. Everything about this was pride-shattering and humiliating. He would almost rather be dead than let Luther spend that kind of money on him, even if deep down he knew he had no choice but to let this happen. Because if he didn’t then he _would_ be dead, and Klaus would be in prison, too. 

“Then stop being obstinate about everything I’m trying to do for you! I know you hate me, but you’re going to have to let yourself accept my help, or you can leave and try to escape this mess alone,” Luther said, then checked his watch. “Listen, I have a conference call I need to be a part of in 10 minutes. If you want my help, be in my office at 8am. If you don’t, get out of my house. Goodnight.”

Luther tossed the napkin from his lap on the table, then stood up and left the room without another word. Allison let out a humorless laugh and emptied the last bit of wine from her bottle into her glass. Klaus rested his elbows on the table and rubbed his temples, until a thought occurred to him.

“Wait, are we supposed to know where his office is?” he asked, breaking the tension in the room somewhat. 

“I can show you, it’s on the way to your room,” Allison said, and then she had another thought. “You guys wanted to sleep in the same room, right? I didn’t even think to ask, sorry. I can have another one cleaned if-”

“One room is fine. Can we go there now?” Diego said shortly. 

“You didn’t eat anything. You can’t go on a hunger strike the whole time you’re here, honey. Just eat a few bites of that salmon,” Klaus said, until Diego frowned at him. Klaus tried and failed to not roll his eyes and mutter his breath. “Or not, whatever.”

Following Allison upstairs to their room was torture. With every gold-gilded picture frame and candle stick that they passed, every heavy, ornate rug that must have cost a fortune, the high ceilings and hallways that felt more like castle corridors, Diego felt a little more of his soul die. It didn’t help that Klaus was in love with everything; running his hands along the dark red velvet drapes with hand embroidery and listening intently as Allison told him what stupid designer made everything, or what extravagant, exotic vacation her and Luther brought different things back from. Diego was certain they were taking the long way to whatever bedroom they were going to be in, just so Allison could show off all her shiny shit. 

“Okay, I picked you guys a really nice bedroom that has a view of the city over the treeline. It’s super pretty, especially at night,” Allison said, opening a bedroom door and walking inside. Diego withheld a groan, he didn’t want her ass to _linger_ in here. Just let them in and leave, damn it.

“Holy shit, it’s so fucking beautiful in here,” Klaus said, and Diego couldn’t even argue. It was an extremely nice room.

It was enormous, like a luxury hotel suite. The color scheme of navy blue with white, black and silver accents was beautiful, there were even throw pillows with constellations on them. There was a balcony with double doors, a walk-in closet, a four-post bed that had navy hangings with silver threads through them that twinkled like stars, a sitting area with a navy loveseat and a small matching chair and television, and all the wall art was of night skies and city lines. Everything down to the light switches matched the aesthetic.

“This is Luther’s favorite guest room, too. He helped me pick the theme. Well, actually, it was already space themed. We just made it a little more grown-up relevant, because this used to be his nursery,” she said, ruining Diego’s opinion of it immediately, and sending him into a bit of a mental tailspin he wasn’t expecting to have. If this was Luther’s nursery then… his mom was in here at one point. Fuck, he hadn’t even thought about the fact that his mom used to live in this house, walking these exact halls. Allison kept talking, but he’d tuned her out completely. “This is one of the only rooms in the house he’s let me remodel. Most of the rooms in the house he insists on keeping the way they are, full of his father’s dusty old shit and ugly decorating. I’m sure you noticed that hideous boar’s head mount in the dining room.”

“I can definitely tell what parts of the house have had your touch. I fucking love these bed curtains,” Klaus said, petting the twinkling fabric hanging from one of the posts, then pulling it out to drape over his shoulder like a sash. “I want to wear something made of this.”

“Oh, and the bathroom is joined with the room next door, but nobody has been in that room for decades, so you won’t have to share. Luther also has no idea where the key is, and the adjoining door is locked from the inside. Every time I recommend getting a locksmith to come out, he tells me no.”

“Oh, so it’s _definitely_ haunted, cool,” Klaus said, dropping the bed curtain as he finally looked up and noticed Diego’s distressed face. “Alright, thank you so much, Allison. You’ve been so sweet, but I think we need to turn in for the night.”

“Okay, of course, I’m sorry. I never know when to shut up,” she said, waving her hand and shaking her head.

“Oh God, same. I could talk to you all night, but I’m sure I’ll see you tomorrow when we’re not exhausted,” Klaus said, following Allison to the door. 

She didn’t act like she wanted to leave, but if she didn’t Diego was about to shove her out manually. Not that she wasn’t being extremely hospitable, especially considering the kind of forced company they were, but Diego just needed to be alone. He wasn’t even sure he wanted Klaus to be around at the moment but there was no way he couldn’t really escape him.

While Klaus finished saying goodnight to Allison out in the hallway, Diego kicked off his shoes and crawled up on the gigantic bed. That woman that picked them up said their bags should have been in here, but Diego didn’t see them, which pushed his mood into an even darker place. He just wanted to put his fucking pajamas on, crawl under the comforter and forget this day ever happened. Instead he noticed a small baby blue teddy bear with a white stomach and ‘ _Luther_ ’ embroidered on it sitting on the loveseat - no doubt the last remnant of the actual nursery that this room used to be. It made him feel hollowed out as he wondered if Grace got Luther that bear because… Diego had a similar one growing up, except his bear was green with his name on it. He was never going to survive _weeks_ in this fucking house.

“Alright, I got her to leave, you can relax now,” Klaus said after he shut the bedroom door and locked it. “Apparently all our bags are in this trunk.”

Diego watched Klaus walk over and lift the lid of a big, black, wooden trunk at the end of the bed, and then start pulling out their stuff. He tossed Diego’s duffle on the bed, then carried his own bag to the closet doorway across from the bathroom. He wasn’t saying much, and Diego wondered if it was because Klaus knew he wasn’t in the mood to talk, and he would be right. All Diego could do was sit on this bed and stare vacantly, trying like hell to keep his mind from going to any darker places about Luther or their mom. None of this felt fucking real at all, and it made him homesick for a home he didn’t have anymore. He could feel himself wanting to cry, but he refused to let the tears out. They wouldn’t help anything, they wouldn’t get him out of this house or away from Luther. But still, they hovered at the surface, and every other breath hitched in his chest.

“Diego, you have to come look in this closet! It’s bigger than any bedroom I’ve ever lived in all by itself, it’s incredible!” Klaus said from inside the closet. “I just hung up everything I own and it didn’t even take up like 1% of the rack.”

“I don’t fucking care about the _closet,_ Klaus,” Diego grumbled, not even sure if Klaus could hear him. 

It appeared that he didn’t because Diego watched him walk out of the closet carrying an armload of his bathroom junk, then walk into the bathroom. As soon as he turned on the light Klaus let out another noise of shock. He poked his head around the corner.

“Diego, I know you don’t care, but there is a jacuzzi tub in this bathroom, and a walk in shower with like 10 jets that spray you from all directions. Like a car wash,” Klaus said, and Diego nodded vaguely in acknowledgement just to not be rude. “Just this bathroom costs more than my whole life.”

When Klaus pulled his head back in the bathroom Diego sighed and rubbed his temples. How could he explain to Klaus that his excitement and mooning over how expensive everything must be was really, really not helping Diego feel better about being here. It wasn’t his fault, he had every right to be excited. Diego knew that Klaus had never seen a house this fancy up close, and neither had Diego, for that matter, but the difference was he wanted to strike a match and watch this place burn to the ground. Klaus was in love with it.

“The soap in this bathroom smells even better,” Klaus said, walking out of the bathroom in his pajamas and smelling his hands. Diego didn’t look up, just kept his head bowed, elbows on his knees and hands behind his head. Klaus finally noticed that Diego was just _not_ okay, and his attitude changed. He crawled up on the bed and sat next to him, then bumped shoulders with him. “You can talk to me.”

“No,” Diego grumbled into his lap.

“Are you mad at me, or just Luther?” Klaus asked, but Diego didn’t respond. He could feel himself shutting down, darkness and bitterness swallowing him like the sea. Klaus did his best to throw him a floating life ring to pull him back out, resting his chin on Diego’s shoulder and whispering, “Hey… I love you.”

It was only a pinprick of light in the dark, but Diego tried to cling to it, because he really, really did love Klaus, and wanted to just shake this off for his sake. But on the other hand, Diego felt entitled to his feelings. He was sick to death of everyone being _annoyed_ with him for not just shutting up and accepting all of this just because his feelings were a bummer to _them_. Even Klaus wanted him to cheer up instead of just letting him feel his pain for a while.

All he wanted in the world was to call his mom, because she would understand. She was the only one that ever really understood him. But she was fucking _gone_ and all he had left of her was a funeral program and a stupid teddybear she bought for someone else, sitting on the couch and taunting him with its stupid stitched on smile. Oh no, the tears were stinging his eyes again. 

“Will you put that bear in a drawer or something?” he whispered, his throat still tight with emotion. It was stupid, but he knew it would help if he didn’t have to keep looking at it, and wondering why Luther would keep it if he didn’t care about Grace.

“What bear?” Klaus said, then looked around the room. “Oh, okay. How come?”

“Don’t ask, please just get it away from me,” he said, hating the pleading tone of his own voice.

“Sure,” Klaus said, already getting off the bed to do something about it. Diego squeezed his eyes shut and covered his ears, not even wanting to know where Klaus was going to put it.

When Klaus crawled back up the end of the bed, Diego expected him to sit next to him again, but he didn’t. He crawled right up in front of Diego, flopped down on his back and then shoved his head in the cave between Diego’s hunched over chest and legs, so he was staring at him upside down. He wasn’t in the mood, but it still made him smirk because Klaus was always adorable, even when Diego was in a shitty mood. He leaned back a little and dropped his hands from the sides of his own face and held the sides of Klaus’ instead. He pet one of Klaus’ cheeks with his thumb and quietly studied his pretty face, trying to let it cheer him up. And it did somewhat, he felt the tightness in his chest relax at least.

“I’m not saying you should totally Spiderman kiss me right now if you’re not feeling it, but it would be kinda cool if you did,” Klaus said, batting his eyelashes. Diego snorted a soft laugh and ran one of his hands down Klaus’ jaw and under his chin, tilting it up toward him. It was a bit of a back strain, but he leaned down to drop a soft peck on Klaus’ lips and then leaned back up. “Not that I’m complaining, but I seem to remember there being tongue involved.”

“You are such a dork,” Diego said with affection, and then leaned back down for a better kiss. 

He had just finally gotten used to kissing the normal way, and now he wasn’t sure if he was doing it right again. But it only took a few seconds of Klaus’ tongue slipping into his mouth before he forgot to even be worried about technique. Klaus distracting Diego with kisses wasn’t going to fix what was wrong, but it definitely made him feel less like he was drowning and more like he was floating instead. After a few more moments his back started to protest, so he broke the kiss, sprinkled a few more wet pecks on Klaus’ cheeks and chin, then sat back up. 

“Better?” he asked, carding his fingers through Klaus’ hair that was starting to get shaggy again. Diego’s was too, for that matter, and he made a mental side note to see about getting a haircut in the near future. 

“Definitely. I can cross that off my bucket list now,” Klaus said with a satisfied smirk. “I can also cross off ‘ _leave town and change my identity_ ,’ which is one I never thought would happen.” 

“Ugh,” Diego said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. Way to ruin the moment. Klaus realized he said the wrong thing and rolled over and sat up on his knees in front of Diego. He took Diego’s hand and squeezed it. 

“Hey, I know you don’t want to accept this help and I totally get it, but think of the future, honey. This is the only way we can start a life together that’s not hiding away from the world,” Klaus said, trying to catch Diego’s eyes but he was avoiding the eye contact on purpose. “Don’t you want that? …Diego?”

“Why is that the _only_ way?” he finally muttered back, boring holes in the white carpeting with his bitter glare. Who the fuck had white carpeting, anyway? Impossible to keep clean.

“Because we murdered people,” Klaus said bluntly, making Diego finally snap his fierce eyes back to Klaus’ face. “Don’t look at me with hate in your eyes like that. You have to accept that this is happening, or we go to jail. Point blank. I’m _so_ fucking sorry that it hurts you the way it does, but we’ve both lost so much already. Don’t make me lose you too, just because you’re too stubborn to take help from people you hate. This is our only chance to be happy, and we’re lucky to get this much. _Please._ ”

Diego had looked up at the ceiling halfway through Klaus’ little speech to keep the angry tears at bay, but he looked back down when he felt Klaus squeeze his hand again. He saw the pleading and the fear in Klaus’ face, his eyes starting to fill with tears, too. Diego felt guilty for making him feel that way, but how could he just shelf over 20 years of animosity he’d built up against Luther, the last eight of which he’d been fantasizing about literally murdering him? 

“I want to be with you, Diego. I don’t care who we have to beg, borrow or steal from to make it happen. I’m not saying we have to get married or anything, but you promised me you wouldn’t leave me hanging when we got here, that you would take care of me,” Klaus continued, twisting the knife of guilt in Diego’s heart even harder. He did promise Klaus that, only a month ago, even though it felt like a year at this point. “How do you expect to do that if we can’t even walk down the street without constantly looking over our shoulder?”

“ _Okay!_ Jesus, I’ll fucking go to his office in the morning, okay? Just stop talking,” Diego said, taking his hand away from Klaus to grind his knuckles against his stupid teary eyes.

“Then you talk! Tell me what you’re feeling instead of just sitting here bottling it all up and shaking your head at me!”

“I’m feeling cornered, Klaus! Like I’m looking down the barrel of a gun no matter which way I turn,” Diego blurted out, then took a deep, ragged breath and shaky exhale. He didn’t expect to feel _relief_ by saying that out loud, but he did, at least a little.

“I _understand_ feeling desperate, babe, I really, _really_ do,” Klaus said, turning his wrists over to show Diego his scars. It took the breath right out of Diego’s chest. “But you need to make sure that you’re not the one that pulls the trigger, okay? If we play this right and listen to Luther we can escape _all_ of this. Our whole lives full of suffering and injustice won’t be for nothing. I’m so sorry to ask this of you when I know it hurts so bad, but I love you, and I want us to have a chance.”

“I want that too,” Diego admitted softly, finally letting a couple of the persistent tears leak down his cheeks, but they weren’t for himself. He picked up Klaus’ hand and brought his wrist to his own lips, kissing the faded pink scar. He felt Klaus flinch and try to pull away, but Diego held on tight. When he looked up Klaus had tears on his cheeks too, and shame in his eyes that he absolutely did not need to be feeling. “I love you, too. I’ll do whatever I have to do.”

Klaus got his hand loose just so he could launch himself forward on his knees and throw his arms around Diego’s neck, his weight knocking Diego backward a little. He cradled the back of Diego’s head and held on tight. Diego wrapped his arms around Klaus’ ribs and let himself fall backward, dragging Klaus with him and still holding on to him once his back hit the bed. Klaus adjusted easily, nuzzling his tear-streaked face into Diego’s collar bone. 

They laid that way quietly for a little while, letting the stress of their highly emotional discussion melt away. When Diego’s eyes fluttered shut he realized he was beyond exhausted, both body and soul; the long drive, the heated exchange he had with Luther and the several overwhelmingly deep discussions he’d had with Klaus that day finally catching up with him. He could have easily fallen asleep this way, except after a while the weight of Klaus’ body lying over his still-crossed legs was starting to make them ache.

“Hey, I need to get my pajamas on and turn the light off if we’re going to sleep,” he said, rubbing Klaus’ back. He knew Klaus had started to doze off too based on the sound of this breathing, but they couldn’t stay like this. Klaus groaned and rolled off Diego to the other side of the bed.

“Hurry up, I wasn’t done with that snuggle yet,” he said, pushing himself up on his hands and knees and then started tossing the useless decorative pillows on the floor. Then he dragged the comforter and sheets back even though Diego was still lying on them. “At least this bed is on the same wall as the last one so we don’t have to switch sides.” 

“Why would we have to switch sides?” Diego asked, turning his head to watch Klaus crawl under his side of the covers. 

“Because you couldn’t lay on your right arm and spoon me the other way,” Klaus said, and Diego felt himself smile even though he didn’t even think he had the energy for it. “Holy shit, get under these sheets. They feel like fucking lotion. It’s the softest thing I’ve ever felt.”

Diego couldn’t even be annoyed about him complimenting another fancy thing in this house, because he was so cute snuggling his face into the pillow with the plush, navy blue comforter pulled up to his neck. After a lingering gaze at Klaus, Diego rolled off his side of the bed to go get changed, trying not to think about what he had to do the next morning, but it was impossible. He knew that no matter what, he would do _whatever_ it took to keep Klaus safe, but really he should have already known that - because he already did the extreme. He killed for him, and that was before he knew just how wonderful Klaus really was. If he could do that, he could face Luther and begrudgingly accept his help. 

It’s what Klaus would want, and… it’s what Grace would want, too. She was always disappointed that her sons never got along, even though she knew exactly why Luther got under Diego’s skin. He could do this. He could control his temper. He had no other choice, because he couldn’t keep living his life beating the shit out of everyone that pissed him off. That may have worked in prison, but not now. Not if he wanted to keep a low profile and integrate back into society ever again. What better way to practice self control than to face a lifelong adversary without letting his hot temper take the reins over his brain?

“Hurry up, I’m gonna fall asleep without you,” Klaus mumbled from the bed just as Diego stepped into his sweatpants. He had been so lost in thought he hadn’t even noticed that he’d changed in front of Klaus’ line of sight, but his eyes were closed, and even if he saw anything, he didn’t say so or make it weird.

After searching for an alarm clock, he realized the soft-ball sized, spherical, moon replica with realistic, bumpy texture on Klaus’ bedside table had a little blue-lighted display with the time. He walked over to the other side of the bed and figured out the buttons on top of the clock well enough to set the alarm for 7am, hoping that he did it right. Luther would be extremely annoyed if they slept in. 

It ran on batteries with no cord, so he carried the moon clock back to his side of the bed and set it on the other matching bedside table, the bottom of it being just flat enough to not roll. Then he crawled under the covers, lying on his back. As soon as he pulled the blankets up, Klaus scooted over and cuddled up to his chest and Diego draped his right arm over Klaus’ shoulder. Klaus was right, these were the softest sheets Diego had ever touched, on the most comfortable bed he’d ever laid in, with the most beautiful person he’d ever met. Despite his head being full of doom and dread about the next day, sleep came easy. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Okay I knowwww this was a shorter chapter, but it's the end of a day so it had to be. But next chapter is almost 20,000 words all by itself and almost every chapter after that is also over 10k so no worries. You'll get plenty of content ;)
> 
> \- I'm going to try to stick to my usual posting once per week schedule, so every Friday. I am actually still writing the last chapter and a half of the story, but it's all the wrap up stuff so it shouldn't take me TOO long. Worst case scenario there will just be a little hiatus toward the end, but not for too long. 
> 
> \- I missed y'all, I hope you enjoy this last book! ♥♥


	21. The Fool: Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** First I have to say THANK YOU SO MUCH for all the wonderful feedback and excitement last week!! I was so afraid that this story may have lost steam/viewership over the hiatus but it seems on the contrary! Thank you so much for all your support and love, it means so so much to me ♥  
> ** This is a long one, folks! And one you've been waiting for ;)  
> ** eating disorder discussion ahead, just in case you need the heads up!

_** September 28th, 2015, 6:45am ** _

Both Diego and Klaus awoke with a start, their eyes flying open as they heard a knock on the bedroom door. For half a second Diego thought maybe they slept in, so he whipped his head over to look at the alarm clock, but it was well before 8am. Who the hell was knocking on their door? Klaus sat up and rubbed his eyes, then got out of bed before Diego even recovered from the mild anxiety attack. He walked to the door and opened it, and Diego could just barely see around him enough to see an older white woman with salt and pepper hair in a bun, holding a large, silver serving tray.

“Good morning, sir! Mrs. Hargreeves sent this up for you both,” the lady said, handing the tray to Klaus. “She said you didn’t have the time for breakfast in the kitchen, and she didn’t want you to leave hungry.”

“Aww, she’s so sweet. And so are you, thank you,” Klaus said, then looked back at Diego briefly before he had another thought and looked back at the lady. “I’m sorry, I don’t have any cash for a tip or anything.”

“Oh, no problem. This isn’t a hotel, you don’t have to tip me. Just doing my job,” she said, waving her hand and then turning to leave.

“Wait, what is your name? I’m Klaus, and that’s Diego,” he said, tipping his head back to gesture at Diego in bed. She smiled as she looked at Diego past Klaus’ shoulder.

“My name is Sylvia. If you need anything else, you can press zero on your phone and someone will bring it to you,” she said.

“That certainly sounds like hotel service. Are you sure we can’t tip you? Diego might have a couple ones left in his wallet, just wait-” 

“No, no, please. Don’t worry about it, sir. Mr. Hargreeves is a more than generous employer,” she said, not waiting for Klaus to argue before shuffling off down the hall. Klaus shrugged and shut the door again with the heel of his foot, then carried the heavy tray over to the bed.

“Look Diego, there is a flower in a vase and everything,” he said, looking delighted. Diego was much less enthused about it, because it was just one more reason to feel uncomfortable about being in this place. The last thing he wanted was Luther’s staff to wait on him.

“Very nice,” Diego said flatly, trying his best to not scowl at the tray Klaus set in front of him. 

It certainly was a nice little breakfast-in-bed tray, there was no denying it. A small carafe was wafting the smell of coffee out into the room, and he couldn’t even pretend his brain didn’t get excited just from the scent. There were also two plates with covers over them, two short, ceramic mugs, silverware rolled in cloth napkins, a pitcher of syrup, a small dish with coffee cream and sugar packets, and yes, there was a tiny vase with a yellow rose and a sprig of baby’s breath that were cut short enough to not tip the vase.

“Don’t be a butthole, it’s too early. I can hear it in your voice,” Klaus said, sitting on his side of the bed and dragging the tray toward him across the comforter. “Just pretend we are in a hotel, and this is just fancy room service.”

“I don’t want it,” Diego said stubbornly, making Klaus sigh and roll his eyes. 

“You have to eat at some point, babe,” Klaus said, lifting the lid off one of the trays and gasping. “Oh shit, it’s a waffle! With strawberries! And eggs! I’m so excited.”

“I have to pee,” Diego said, ignoring the way his stomach grumbled just from the smell of the food. He shoved the covers off his legs and got off the bed, letting Klaus enjoy his breakfast without having to deal with Diego raining on his parade. Plus, he really did have to use the bathroom, like _really_ bad. He hadn’t gone in like 15 hours, since the gas station before they got there, and that was insane. 

But not as insane as the fucking _bathroom,_ Klaus wasn’t exaggerating. Who needed a bathroom to be this big or glamourous? It was just a place for using the toilet and washing up, no need for all these bells and whistles. Rich people were so weird and impractical. 

Then again… some of it was admittedly kinda cool. There really was a jacuzzi tub in there, set into a white and gold-veined marble platform, and behind it was a tall stained glass window that lit up the whole room with colorful morning light shining through. There were also fresh flowers in several tall, elegant crystal vases sitting on the counter and on the platform behind the tub. No doubt Allison had them added to the guest room just for them, which was just so extra; she didn’t have any reason to want to impress them other than to simply _show off._

As he washed his hands, Diego begrudgingly let himself sniff the vase full of white lilies next to one of the four sinks on the long counter, which was made of the same white marble with gold veins. They smelled like Easter and… a little bit like his mom’s perfume, which was nice, but didn’t help Diego not think about her former place in this house. He needed to shake it off though, she was the last person he could allow himself think about this morning.

“I’m eating your waffle since you didn’t want it, but you should eat your eggs,” Klaus said as soon as Diego walked back into the bedroom. When he was ignored, Klaus continued. “You can’t just starve yourself the whole time we’re here.”

_Fine!_ Diego rolled his eyes and stomped over to the side of the bed. He leaned over and swiped Klaus’ fork out of his hand, stabbed and stuffed four big bites of scrambled eggs into his mouth all at the same time, then dropped the fork with sass.

“Thank you,” Klaus said with a bright smile, ignoring Diego’s attitude like he wasn’t being a big baby right now. “Strawberries, too?”

“Just pour me some coffee,” Diego said once he swallowed his enormous mouthful of eggs.

“Oh, I just did, here,” Klaus said, leaning over to his bedside table to grab the steaming mug of black coffee and then handed it to him. “Are you going to shower or anything?”

“No, I didn’t exactly get dirty just sitting in the car yesterday,” Diego said, still standing at the edge of the bed and blowing on his mug. 

“Me either, so other than getting dressed, we really don’t have much to do before we head down,” Klaus said, then popped a strawberry from Diego’s plate into his mouth.

“We should probably cover this stupid tattoo if we’re going places,” Diego said. He would almost rather just take the risk than have that shit caked on his face anymore, but he would just have to suck it up.

“Mm, good point,” Klaus said, then started stacking all the breakfast stuff on the silver tray now that his food was gone. “Let’s sit on the balcony and do it, though. I need a cigarette something fierce, and I’m sure we’re not allowed to smoke in here.”

By the time they headed down to Luther’s office, it was quarter to eight, and Diego was a little proud of them for actually being early for once. That was the extent of his positive feelings though, because every other part of him was flooded with dread at having to walk into this office with his tail between his legs, begging for help. Klaus must have sensed that he was getting disgruntled again, because he reached over and took Diego’s hand while they walked down the long corridor. He wasn’t sure why that always made him feel stronger, but it did, and it was just one of the many things Diego loved about Klaus.

When they got to Luther’s office door it was closed, and when they knocked there was no answer. There were two nice leather armchairs across from Luther’s door, and a small table with magazines on it between the chairs. _Of course Luther would have a waiting room to even talk to him,_ Diego thought, rolling his eyes. They sat down, deciding he was either not there yet, or busy. It was short lived though, only sitting for a couple of minutes before the office door opened. Except it wasn’t Luther that stepped out, but the unsettling woman from the day before. ‘The Handler’ she called herself, and Diego knew that Klaus was immediately pissed off just by seeing her face again. 

“Mr. Hargreeves will see you now,” she said, her eyes lingering on Diego as they stood up and walked past her into the office.

Luther was sitting at a huge wooden desk, just hanging up the phone on the receiver as they walked in. He gestured for them to sit in the two chairs on the other side of his desk, which were the same as the nice ones from the hallway. Everything about this office was dated - even Luther’s phone had one of the old fashioned wheels you turned for each number. Diego had only ever seen those in classic movies, never in real life. It was clear that this used to be Reginald’s office and Luther just took it over after he died, hardly changing a thing. There was even a huge portrait of Reginald on the wall behind Luther, which gave Diego the creeps because it felt like the old man’s cold eyes were staring right at him, judging him for even setting foot in this place.

“Good morning, thank you for being on time,” Luther said as they took their seats. “I wasn’t sure you were going to come at all.”

“What choice did I have?” Diego said, and he noticed Luther examining Klaus critically. 

This morning Klaus was a little braver with his clothes, wearing the soft pink t-shirt that Agnes gave him, his cutoff shorts and pink converse. Diego almost wished Luther would say some shit that he could justify hitting him for - except he didn’t want Klaus to ever feel bad, ever, so Luther better not dare. But Klaus already looked uncomfortable under Luther’s gaze without even being verbally criticized, and it wasn’t making it any easier for Diego to be nice.

“Alexis, can you call Dr. Shaplin and tell her I’m still sending my brother over this morning?” Luther called, tearing his eyes away from Klaus to look over their shoulders at The Handler, who was still standing by the door.

“Right away, boss,” she said with that silky voice that made a shiver go down Diego’s spine. Klaus turned to glare at her as she left the office, shutting the door behind herself. He turned back around in his seat and addressed Luther for the first time since they got there. 

“You know she’s stealing from you, right?” Klaus said confidently, making Luther frown immediately. Diego couldn’t believe he said that, covering his eyes with one hand. 

“Alexis has worked for my father and I for almost 10 years, I trust her completely. You two, on the other hand…” Luther trailed off. 

“Suit yourself, but I’m never wrong. She’s a snake. You’ll see-” 

“ _Klaus, please,_ ” Diego hissed, his voice snapping like a whip. Luther rolled his eyes and sighed heavily.

_“Anyway,_ ” he said with stress, signaling that he had zero use or time for that information. “There will be a car out front when you leave here. I had your medical history faxed to the surgeon, and she will give you an MRI - which, by the way, did you eat this morning?”

“No,” Diego said, deciding the mouthful of eggs barely counted.

“Good, I forgot to mention that you needed to fast last night. Anyway, you’ll get the MRI on your arm, and she will go over your options with you if there is any damage. The clinic is closed today, obviously, since it’s Sunday, so you’ll have to go in the back door, but my driver knows where to take you,” Luther explained. “If you need surgery, I’ll make sure that gets paid for-”

“I’m not having surgery,” Diego interrupted, making Luther roll his eyes again.

“Fine, but you’ll probably still need physical therapy at the very least. You don’t just live with a gunshot wound like it’s no big deal, Diego,” Luther said.

“That’s what I keep saying,” Klaus said, making Diego frown at him. “I know you don’t want to, honey, but you can’t ignore this. Even if it’s just physical therapy, you need-”

“Fine,” Diego snapped, but it was just to shut them both up. He wasn’t going to do any of that shit. He _was_ fine, even if he still couldn’t feel most of his fingers and parts of his forearm, or make a tight fist, or hold on to anything securely - he could still manage. “What else.”

“And then you’ll visit my counterfeiter-”

“Wait, sorry to interrupt,” Klaus said, making them both stare at him. Klaus shifted uneasily in his seat, and then spit out the question he was sitting on. “Would it be possible for this doctor to run a full STD screen? Like is that possible at that clinic?”

Diego couldn’t help but be visibly floored by him asking that so bluntly, and Luther looked just as taken back. Klaus shrugged uncomfortably, then hugged his arms around himself as the silence lingered just a few beats too long. “It’s been a while, and I don’t know how else I could get it done now that I’m - you know, a fugitive or whatever.”

“Uh, yeah, I can probably make that happen,” Luther finally said, thrown off his professional groove. Diego could see that Klaus was uneasy about having to ask for that, and he had to make it better somehow.

“Me too,” he said quickly, now having Luther’s stunned gaze turned to him, and Klaus’ too. 

Diego could see Luther’s brain working, making the incorrect connection that he and Klaus must have slept together. He couldn’t even be offended that Luther would make that assumption, because why wouldn’t he? He knows Diego and Klaus are together, and adults, and like, ride or die in the most literal sense of the phrase. It’s not a leap whatsoever to assume they were having sex too. He watched Luther physically restrain himself from saying whatever he wanted to say, which was probably something along the lines of ‘ew, really, with _him,_ Diego?’ Especially considering how shitty he had already been about Klaus’ sex work job and drug addiction over the phone. But for once Diego wasn’t embarrassed about someone thinking about his sex life, because he wasn’t ashamed of anyone assuming that’s what he and Klaus were doing. For one, because he wasn’t ashamed of Klaus to begin with, but letting people think they were having sex was also much better than anyone knowing the truth - that Diego was too fucked up to even attempt it.

“... sure, I’ll make the call when you guys leave,” Luther said, then cleared his throat and needlessly straightened some papers on his desk. Diego was actually kind of enjoying that he was making Luther feel awkward, for once. “Anyway, when you leave there, you’ll meet the counterfeiter - and I have to warn you - he’s a little odd. Okay, he’s very odd. You’re going to think I’m insane for sending you there, but trust me. The guy knows his stuff, despite being completely off his rocker. Your new identities will be airtight and impossible to discredit. You just have to be honest with him when he asks you questions, so he can find the right match for you.”

“What do you mean by match?” Klaus asked. 

“The dead person you’ll be assuming the identity of, of course,” Luther said, and Diego could hear him trying really hard to curb that condescending tone he always used on the phone.

“I didn’t know fake identities were real people that died,” Klaus said, frowning and petting his chin hairs thoughtfully. “What if their family members recognize the name and confront you? Or like, the authorities realize Mr. Dead Guy is suddenly using his bank account again?”

“That won’t happen,” Luther said resolutely, as if that sufficiently answered Klaus’ questions. “You can trust this guy. I do, and he hasn’t made a single error thus far.”

“And what does a man with an upstanding, honest business like yours need a counterfeiter for, anyway?” Diego asked, even though he already knew Luther wasn’t going to tell him. It was more about the jab at Luther’s holier than thou attitude toward him and Klaus, like the crimes they commit are somehow more corrupt than his own white collar ones. Luther tapped his thumb against his desk and stared at Diego with narrowed eyes. 

“Mind your own business, I’ll mind mine,” he said with a tone that seemed to be on the edge of a threat. Diego opened his mouth to retort, but Luther picked up a big, thick yellow envelope from his desk and held it up. “Take this to Five. Do not open it.”

“Five what?” Klaus asked, even though Luther was clearly talking to Diego. 

“Five is the counterfeiter,” Luther said without looking at Klaus. He stood up to hand Diego the envelope over the desk. Diego leaned forward to take it but Luther held it out of his reach again. “I’m serious, don’t open it. Five will know, and he might shoot you.”

“Five is his _name?_ ” Klaus asked, but Diego was much more concerned about the second part of that sentiment.

“I won’t open it, but why the fuck are you sending me to someone who might shoot me?” Diego asked, leaning forward enough to snatch the envelope out of Luther’s grip. Judging by the feel of it in his hand, Diego assumed it was packed full of papers, or folders full of papers. There was a giant V written on the front in Sharpie, and it took a few moments for Diego to realize it was meant to be a roman numeral for five.

“It’s just part of his charm,” Luther said, shrugging like the potential of being shot was no big deal. 

“So far you haven’t painted a very charming picture of him,” Diego muttered, mostly to himself. 

“Who names their baby Five? That can’t be real. Was his mom a crackhead? Or like a circus performer, maybe?” 

“It’s a _nickname,_ dipshit! _Jesus,_ ” Luther said, resting his palms on the desk and frowning at him. Klaus was unfazed, but Diego felt his blood pressure spike immediately at the insult. It took every molecule of will power he had to not get up and hit Luther in his face. Instead he just clutched the envelope so hard he bent the contents. 

“Short for what, though? Or is that his super secret code name to conceal his real identity? Does he have a sister named Six?” Klaus rattled off, for once _not_ reading the room like he was usually so good at doing. 

Luther just stared at him with exasperation etched on his face. Diego glanced at Klaus to try and tell him to just ‘ _be quiet_ ’ with his eyes. But then he noticed a cheeky smirk on Klaus’ face, and Diego finally realized he was just fucking with Luther _on purpose_ at this point. 

“Why don’t you go ahead and ask him,” Luther finally said, his voice heavy with cold sarcasm. Klaus let out a soft chuckle. 

“God, I can tell you guys are brothers. You’re both so serious,” he said, still looking plenty amused with himself.

“Well yeah, this is kind of a serious moment, babe,” Diego said, the pet name slipping out before he remembered their audience. He felt himself blush, but he didn’t backpedal. Klaus just shrugged at him. 

“Sorry, the tension in here was smothering me,” Klaus said, and then the sound of four loud beeps filled the room. They both looked at Luther, watching him reach for his belt loop and unclip a tiny, black, rectangular electronic device that Diego had never seen before. Luther stared at the display on the side for a few seconds then clipped it back on his belt loop.

“Alright, Hazel is here. He’s going to take you-”

“Oh, Hazel! We love him,” Klaus said, just barely sarcastic enough for Luther to know he was lying.

“From what I hear, the feeling is mutual,” Luther said, sitting back down in his chair and pulling his phone toward him. “Alright, get out of here before he leaves you behind. I have a call to make.”

“I thought Hazel was in Idaho Falls yesterday?” Diego said, making Luther pause as he picked up the phone.

“He was, and now he’s here. Go,” Luther said, cradling the phone with his shoulder against his face and dialing a number.

Once they were around the corner from Luther’s office Klaus nudged Diego’s arm with his elbow.

“Hey, are you mad at me?” he asked. 

“No, I’m just… overwhelmed,” Diego said, and it was true. 

He’d had a pit in his stomach since they walked out of their bedroom that morning, still unable to accept that all of this was really happening. He didn’t want to go to a surgeon, he didn’t want to get a new identity, and he definitely didn’t want fucking Luther to pay for all of it. But it didn’t matter what he wanted, so his frustration was pointless, which made him even _more_ frustrated.

“Okay, I’m sorry. I thought you would feel better if I took some of the attention off you,” Klaus said, following Diego across the foyer and out of the front door. 

“I will feel better after this day is over,” Diego said, then groaned softly when he saw Hazel sitting in the front seat of another black SUV that was waiting for them. He knew he should make more of an effort to convince Klaus that he wasn’t mad at him, but he just didn’t have the emotional capacity available to do it at the moment. He still had manners though, so when he got to the car he opened the back door and let Klaus climb in first.

“Hey Nicholas, long time, no see,” Klaus said, dropping down behind Hazel and obnoxiously slapping the back of his seat a few times. As Diego crawled in behind him, he saw Hazel just close his eyes and sigh deeply, probably regretting his entire career choice that led him to this moment. Now that _did_ make Diego smile. Annoying Hazel was more fun because he didn’t hold Diego’s fate in his hands the way Luther did. “Have you talked to Agnes? Tell her I miss her already.”

“You’ve barely been gone more than 24 hours,” Hazel said, glancing at them in his rearview mirror.

“So? I love her. She’s my mom now, did you hear?” Klaus said cheerfully, then gave the back of Hazel’s seat another slap. “Oh my god, if you guys get married that would make me your stepkid!”

“I think I liked you better when you were a puking mess in my back seat,” Hazel said, starting the ignition and taking off down the long driveway. Klaus just laughed and turned to smile at Diego. 

“You seem awfully excited considering all the terrible shit we have to do today,” Diego said, but he couldn’t stop himself from giving Klaus a warm smile back. He was just too cute, always, but especially when he was in a good mood.

“I don’t think it’s as terrible as you do, I guess. I’m more than happy to shed my identity, past me sucks,” Klaus said with a shrug. 

“Past me sucks too, but getting a new name isn’t going to change that,” Diego said, wishing he could be just as thrilled about the whole thing as Klaus was.

“Maybe not to the few people that know the truth, but everyone else you meet won’t know anything about you. You’ll just be a normal person, not a criminal or a cop killer or whatever else people don’t like about you. And I won’t just be a homeless, useless junkie with no family,” Klaus said, and Diego saw some of his cheer fade, making him feel bad for even saying anything. He also didn’t know how to respond, but thankfully Klaus had another thought almost immediately after. He glanced at Hazel, then leaned closer to Diego and whispered, “Hey, why did you tell Luther you needed tests, too? You’re… not like me.”

“Because it’s not exactly impossible that I contracted something while I was in prison. I’ve had plenty of blood from other men in my own open wounds, from fighting,” Diego said, and he knew that it wasn’t even a lie. He initially just said that to Luther to make Klaus feel better about having to ask for it, but the more he thought about it, the more likely he realized it could be. “Lots of guys there had HIV. In fact, if you’re in prison there’s an even more likely chance that you do. Something like, five times as likely, I think? They had a little seminar about how to keep yourself protected from it when I got there.”

“Really? Like, because of the rape, or-?”

“No - well, maybe partially, but most of them had it before they got there. I guess you’re the type of person that’s more prone to doing risky shit if you end up in prison, so unprotected sex is probably one of those things you did before you got there, or sharing needles was another big reason,” Diego explained quietly, hoping Hazel wasn’t paying attention. But he had the front windows rolled down, so the wind probably carried away most of Diego’s words, anyway. 

“Oh my god, Diego. I didn’t think I needed to worry about you, too,” Klaus whispered with distress. He definitely wasn’t cheerful anymore. He reached over and took Diego’s hand, locking their fingers and holding his other hand over them.

“I’ll probably be just fine, I wouldn’t worry too much,” Diego said, even though he knew that wasn’t going to make Klaus stop worrying whatsoever. “I’m much more concerned about you. How long has it been since your last test?”

Klaus looked down, his face shaded with shame. 

“A-about seven months, maybe eight, I can’t remember,” he said, then bit his lip and shook his head. 

“Well you are now, so try not to panic about it until after you get the results,” Diego said, but he couldn’t deny the streak of fear he had about it, now. “Were a lot of the times unprotected?”

“What do you think?” Klaus said miserably, finally looking back up. Diego could see the underlying fear and self-loathing in his eyes. “You know, I’ve never cared this much before, because I didn’t… I didn’t really care if I died. But now I do.”

“You’re not gonna die, and neither am I,” Diego said sincerely. He untangled his hand from Klaus’ and reached over and gripped the back of his neck so he could pull him closer and kiss his temple. He mumbled against Klaus’ hair, “We’re going to be okay.”

“You don’t know that,” Klaus said, leaning the rest of the way over so he could rest his head on Diego’s shoulder. 

“Yes I do, because nothing is going to change how I feel about you, whatever the results say, and there are plenty of medicines and stuff now to keep people alive,” Diego said, rubbing Klaus’ arm. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Let’s just talk about something else,” Klaus said, playing with the strings around the tiny hole wearing away in the knee of Diego’s sweats.

“Want me to have him turn the radio on?” Diego asked. 

“No.”

“Okay. Do you want to tell me why you think that Handler woman is stealing from Luther, then?”

Klaus sat up and narrowed his eyes just thinking about her again. 

“I can just tell. No secretary can afford the clothes she’s been wearing, not to mention she’s just fucking evil. Her vibes are poison,” he said, like he could taste the poison in his mouth. 

“Are you sure you’re not just projecting your jealousy?” Diego asked. Klaus was annoyed now, but being annoyed was way better than being sad, in Diego’s opinion. 

“No! I mean that’s part of why I don’t like her, but I knew the moment I saw her at your window, before she ever started checking you out and shit. She’s just bad news, and Luther should really listen to me,” Klaus said, without a trace of self-doubt. He was thoroughly convinced this woman was basically the Devil.

“Are you guys talking about Alexis?” Hazel interrupted. Oh great, he could hear them the whole time. 

“None of your business,” Klaus said, turning his glare on Hazel. 

“I was just going to say, I think she’s shady, too,” he continued anyway. Klaus’ demeanor changed immediately, scooting to the edge of the seat to listen to Hazel better.

“Why do you think that?”

“Because she’s always asking me questions about where I’m going, where Luther is sending me, how long I’ll be gone. If Luther wanted her to know, she would know. She’s just sneaky and nosy, and I half suspect she killed Reginald herself,” Hazel said.

“See!! I fucking told you, Diego,” Klaus said, completely trusting Hazel at his word. 

“It sounds like neither of you have any proof of anything, though,” Diego said, making Klaus scoff.

“I don’t need proof, I have intuition!” he said, and Diego accidentally let out a laugh. Klaus crossed his arms and frowned at him even harder.

“I’m sorry, but imagine trying to tell a judge that, or even Luther. I’m not saying you’re necessarily wrong, but those are ridiculously wild claims that you have to be able to back up with proof if you expect Luther to give a shit,” Diego said, but the car stopped and both he and Klaus got distracted.

Diego expected them to be headed toward a little clinic, but this building was huge. Then again, they don’t usually have big MRI machines in tiny clinics, so he probably shouldn’t be that surprised. He also wasn’t expecting to see the doctor standing outside next to the back door, leaning against the building and smoking a cigarette. When she saw them start to get out of the car, she dropped her smoke and stepped on it, then brushed off some ashes from the sleeve of her white lab coat and then ran her hand through her short, grey hair. 

“Hello, which one of you got shot?” the doctor asked, then she waved her hand as she gave them both the onceover. “Nevermind, I can tell. Let’s go.”

Diego and Klaus glanced at each other, then followed the short doctor through the glass door. She led them down several hallways and into a small waiting room. It felt extremely weird to be in a medical building with literally no other patients, but the doctor didn’t seem fazed as she told them to sit and wait while she collected some paperwork for them to fill out. 

“Wait, are we supposed to use our real names on this?” Klaus asked as the lady returned with two clipboards and two pens, handing them each one. The doctor shrugged. 

“It doesn’t matter, I’m not showing them to anyone else. I know you guys are here off the books, clearly,” she said, gesturing vaguely at the empty room. “But if it would make you feel better, you can leave the name section blank. Fill those out, and I’ll be sitting behind that window when you’re done. Don’t take forever, I have a brunch date at 11.”

“Fuck, I want brunch,” Klaus said as the doctor walked away.

Diego was having a hell of a time filling out all the paperwork, especially the section about his parents’ health. He had no idea if his dad had any health conditions, and he certainly didn’t know anything about his birth mother because she was dead before he was even old enough to talk. His dad was only 37 when Diego killed him, and he seemed to be in perfect health other than being a gigantic fucking dick. He decided to just leave it all blank, it was completely irrelevant to why he was here, anyway. Who gives a shit what conditions his parents had? 

He heard Klaus scoff next to him, and Diego realized he must be halted on the same section. He glanced over at Klaus’ worksheets and he was right. Except his attention was immediately drawn to Klaus’ handwriting instead.

“Your writing is so small, what the fuck,” Diego said, leaning over and pretending to squint to read the top of Klaus’ paper. He would have expected Klaus’ penmanship to be messy and all over the place, based on everything else about him, but it was small and as neat as if he typed it on a typewriter. “Did a mouse write this for you?”

“Shut up, I think it’s cute,” Klaus said, but he was giggling, anyway.

“Oh it’s adorable, just unexpected,” Diego said, then he held his clipboard next to Klaus’. 

“I’m so glad yours is as empty looking as mine,” Klaus said, because his address, phone number, social security number and parental health history were also blank. “What a big waste of time.”

“You don’t know your soc. either?”

“Oh, I know it, but I’m not putting it on this paper. Who knows what this woman will do with it if she’s willing to do medical jobs under the table for random rich dudes,” Klaus said, then clipped his pen to the top of the board. 

“Good point,” Diego said, scanning his own documents for anything he might not want this doctor to know.

“How do you not know your social security number?” Klaus asked. 

“I knew it at one point, but I guess I forgot it over the years. I haven’t had to use it for anything like… ever,” Diego said.

“Good thing you’re getting a new one soon, then,” Klaus said, then looked past Diego to the glass window where the doctor said she’d be. “She’s staring at us. Better take these up before she cooks us like Hansel and Gretel.”

“Don’t tell me you get cannibalistic fairy tale witch vibes from her,” Diego said with a small snort and a smirk. 

“No, but she’s not very patient for a doctor,” Klaus said, standing up and taking Diego’s clipboard from his hands. He watched Klaus walk over to the window, exchange a few words while he was handing her the boards, and then march back over to his seat and sit down with folded arms. “You’re up first. She won’t let me go back there with you, as if rules fucking matter when you’re aready breaking them. So I guess I’ll be out here.”

Hazel picked that moment to stroll in the waiting room and then sit in one of the chairs closest to the door. 

“Oh, at least you’ll have company,” Diego said, reaching over and giving Klaus’ knee a little squeeze. “It’s going to be okay. I’ll be out in a little bit.”

Diego hated every single minute he was away from Klaus. He hated being stabbed with needles and pissing in a cup, he hated having this lady touch his bare skin a bunch, he hated that she put the sticky circle doo-dads on his chest, he hated having the x-rays and the EMG test that sent shocks through his arm. Then he hated waiting for her to process and analyze all the tests herself, because it took fucking forever and he was mad that Klaus couldn’t be in there with him while he stared at the wall. But he _especially_ hated the things she had to say, and by the time he left her exam room, he was convinced he would never walk into another medical facility ever again.

As soon as he stormed into the waiting room, both Klaus and Hazel’s heads turned toward him. Klaus had moved chairs to sit next to Hazel, no doubt to pester the shit out of him for the whole hour or so that Diego was gone. Klaus frowned when he saw Diego frowning, too. 

“She’s ready for you,” Diego said, trying not to let his mood color his tone. “You’ll have to give blood.”

“That’s fine,” Klaus said, standing up and halting Diego with a hand on his chest before he could sit down. “Hey, what did she say?”

“I’ll tell you in the car, I promise,” Diego said, taking Klaus’ hand from his chest and giving it a reassuring squeeze even though he didn’t feel much like placating anyone. “Please just go in there and get this part over with so we can get out of here as fast as possible.”

Klaus’ concerned eyes lingered on Diego a few moments longer, studying his face to try and gather the answers he was looking for in that wordless way that he does. Diego must have been unreadable, or Klaus trusted that he would tell him as soon as possible, because he patted Diego’s elbow and headed down the hall that Diego had just come from without another word. 

Thankfully Hazel knew better than to ask Diego about it. Either that, or he truly did not give a shit, which would also be great. He just sat in the chair twirling the car keys around his finger and occasionally sipping a Diet Coke he got from the vending machine around the corner. Diego flexed the fingers of his right arm, still tingling all the way up to his shoulder from having the shocks of the EMG sent through it.

“Okay, let’s go,” Klaus said abruptly as he bursted through the door to the waiting room 15 minutes later and made a beeline for the exit. 

Diego figured Klaus would be anxious when he left, maybe even more so than he was himself. He and Hazel followed Klaus out of the building and to the car, but Diego wished Hazel would have hung back for a few minutes. He wanted to discuss things with Klaus without an audience, but it didn’t matter because Hazel wasn’t going anywhere. Diego just had to accept that privacy at Luther’s was probably nonexistent. 

As soon as he shut the car door Klaus was staring at him expectantly, waiting to hear what the doctor had said about his stupid gunshot wound. He waited until Hazel fired up the engine and got moving before he spoke up. Klaus gestured impatiently.

“Well? Please start talking before I freak out,” Klaus said, and Diego noticed that he’d chewed off all his fingernails earlier in the time he had spent in the waiting room.

“Well, you’re going to be mad at me so it’s hard to tell you,” Diego admitted with a sigh, but he soldiered on anyway. “The good news is, the bullet missed the bone, and she believes it only partially lacerated the nerve. It mostly just went through the meat and muscle, and those things will regenerate in time, but I’ll always have issues with scar tissue in the area causing some pain and potentially problems long term. But… I guess upper extremity gunshot wounds are tricky for surgeons to really analyze the extent of the damage without exploratory surgery. It could be worse than she thinks, and get worse instead of better without intervention.”

“Let me guess, you refused surgery even though it sounds like the smartest option?” Klaus said, folding his arms and giving Diego a chilly look.

“Yes, but hang on, there’s more to say before we talk about that,” Diego said, but then he felt his stomach grumble in the worst way. “Hey Hazel, I know we’ve got other shit to do, but can we run through a drive-thru or something? I wasn’t supposed to eat this morning for an MRI, but it turns out Luther is a dumbass and that wasn’t even what she had to do, so I need something to eat if we’re going to be stuck in another place forever.”

“I suppose,” Hazel said, but he didn’t sound nearly as annoyed as he normally was when Diego needed favors from him.

“So anyway, if she did the surgery, there would be a stupidly long recovery time, and there isn’t even any guarantee that she could fix anything while she was operating,” Diego explained, hoping he was really selling the fact that the surgery may be entirely useless. “So, the other option is to keep monitoring the situation and basically go to physical therapy for months, hoping the nerve damage will repair on its own in the next year or so. She said the physical therapy isn’t optional, or I could lose muscle strength and vascular function over time. So basically, it’s up to my body whether this heals properly or not, and either way I’ll probably always have some loss of feeling, but the physical therapy will help me keep functionality even if the sensation never fully recovers.”

“So what I’m still hearing is the part about it possibly getting worse without intervention,” Klaus said, shaking his head. “Why are you so against surgery if that could potentially save you from a lifetime of numb fingers and pain?”

“It _could_ , but that doesn’t mean it _will,_ ” Diego said. He knew this was going to be an argument, but it was his body, and he wasn’t going to let Klaus guilt him into something he didn’t want. “We can’t just hang around Luther’s for like 10-12 months while I wait for _nerve_ _reconstruction_ surgery to heal, we’re already mooching off of him enough as it is. I know that doesn’t matter to you, but it matters to me, and I can’t have him pay some surgeon under the table to perform a risky operation that might be completely fucking useless anyway. Plus- … I’m kind of afraid of being put under anesthesia.”

“Really? Why? And are you serious, it takes almost a _year_ for recovery?” Klaus asked, his skepticism fading as he started to digest Diego’s reasoning.

“Yes. Nerve surgery is fucked up. It’s not just like having your appendix removed,” Diego said with a sigh. “I don’t want to live like this forever, but I just don’t have the luxury of sitting on my ass for a whole year waiting for it to heal and then it never does anyway. And really, is this the worst that could happen to me after all the shit we’ve been through?”

“No, stop. I can tell you’re one degree away from that ‘ _I deserve this_ ’ martyr shit, but you don’t deserve this, Diego,” Klaus said.

“I didn’t say that, I just mean I got shot by someone that’s really _good_ at murder, and I _lived._ Isn’t that enough?” Diego said, but he was lying to both Klaus and himself. Under all his excuses, in the back of his mind, he really did feel like this was the punishment he was meant to endure for all the pain and misery he’d caused others throughout his life. But he still meant what he said, things could definitely be way worse, and Klaus should really just let him have that little bit of optimistic outlook.

“Of course it’s enough, honey, and I’m _so_ thankful you’re still here and breathing. I just don’t want to see you suffer, is all,” Klaus said, uncrossing his arms so he could reach over and take Diego’s left hand in his. “If this is really your decision, at least promise me you won’t fight the physical therapist’s instructions. I know you don’t like being told what to do, and neither do I so I understand, but if your goal is really recovery, you have to do what they say. Even if you don’t like them.”

Diego sighed again and held Klaus’ concerned gaze for a few moments before nodding. “I promise.”

“Okay, good,” Klaus said, smiling for the first time since they left the clinic. “How about we seal the deal with a kiss?”

Diego smiled as Klaus leaned forward, and how could he say no? No one had cared about him this much in so fucking long, it definitely deserved a kiss or 50. He met Klaus half way and gave him a soft kiss. Klaus reached up and cupped Diego’s cheek and kissed him harder, like he was trying to make Diego feel his love. He could definitely feel it, and he hoped Klaus could feel it from him, too. 

“Ahem,” Hazel cleared his throat, startling them both apart. “What do ya want?”

Diego blinked a couple times before he realized they were sitting at a drive thru speaker. He felt his stupid cheeks bloom with color but he tried to ignore it, sitting forward to stare at the menu instead.

“Just two cheeseburgers with extra pickle. And an iced tea,” he said. “Wait, a chocolate shake. It’s been a long day already and it’s only 10:30, I could use the sugar.”

“Good for you,” Hazel said sarcastically, giving zero shits about Diego’s reasons.

“And I want a nugget kid’s meal with a Sprite,” Klaus said, even though he had already eaten breakfast. And was also almost 26 years old. He shrugged when Diego gave him a look with a smirk. “The toy is a beanie baby. Leave me alone. Whatever.”

Turns out the highlight of Diego’s day was watching Klaus get excited about opening a pastel jellyfish beanie baby. Klaus made a bubbly sound effect and shook its tentacles, then laughed at himself. 

“I don’t think that’s the noise they make,” Diego said, his cheeks starting to hurt just from smiling at his dorky boyfriend. Then Klaus read the heart shaped name tag and laughed even louder. 

“His name is Goochy. I love him,” Klaus said, setting it on his knee so he could dig into his meal.

“I love _you,_ ” Diego said, watching Klaus with adoration. He startled himself a little by how easily it rolled off his tongue, but he didn’t regret saying it when Klaus looked up at him with his cheeks stuffed full of french fries. Klaus couldn’t talk with his mouth full, so he held up his hands in a heart shape over his chest and winked in response.

Diego was feeling better after eating by the time they made it to the next stop, but his head was swirling with anxiety about what was to come. They parked in the alley outside of a tall, old building in the middle of the city. Yet another thing giving Diego anxiety - he hadn’t been in a big, bustling city like this in a month. All the time he spent at Agnes’ had gotten him accustomed to the quiet, calm of being in the middle of nowhere. It felt like Julio or a cop or an FBI agent or any other ghost from his past my spring up at any moment. Not to mention the loud, jarring sounds of a populated city were overwhelming and making him feel jumpy. Why the hell couldn’t this guy come to the house instead? Luther wasn’t rich enough to pay for a house call?

“I’m not going in there with you guys, but you’re going to go in that side door, walk down the hall until you reach the elevator on the right, then take it up to the fourth floor. The office across the hall is Five’s, and you don’t need to knock. He knows you’re coming,” Hazel said to them out of the car window once they got out.

“Is there anything else in this building?” Klaus asked, tipping his head back to stare at all the floors, at least 15 of them. 

“The first floor is a yoga studio on weekdays, but otherwise, no,” Hazel said, shaking the ice in his empty soda cup and then taking a useless sip from the straw. “Luther owns the building though, so you shouldn’t run into any bums or smackheads squatting in there.”

“Luther owns a yoga studio?” Diego asked, even though he didn’t really care. It was just kind of funny to imagine. 

“No, he just rents the lower part of the building out under a shell company name. Stop asking dumb questions and go in before Five changes his mind. He’s a busy kid,” Hazel said, then rolled up his window so they couldn’t ask him anything else.

As they rode the elevator up to the fourth floor Klaus nudged Diego with his elbow. 

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Diego said, trying to force his eyebrows to stop frowning. 

“I don’t know. Isn’t this weird? Why have an office on the fourth floor of an otherwise empty building?” Klaus asked.

“Who knows, maybe he just likes the view?”

“And why doesn’t this guy just work out of Luther’s actual company building? It’s gotta be around here somewhere, right?” Klaus continued. 

“I don’t know that either. Probably because Luther doesn’t want anything illegal happening on the actual business premises? I’ve learned to just stop questioning the things Luther makes us do, because we never get straight answers, anyway,” Diego said, and the elevator ding ended his sentence like a period. 

He walked out first, unconsciously shielding Klaus with his body because both Hazel and Klaus got him all paranoid talking about squatting smackheads and shady business operations. The door in the hall across from the elevator was made of heavy, quality wood with a frosted glass window and a shiny gold ‘V’ decal, the same roman numeral on the envelope Diego was carrying. It felt rude to just walk in, but Hazel told them to, so he turned the knob and let the door swing open before stepping inside. 

Diego was expecting it to be like a regular office, but instead it was a pretty empty room with one rectangular table and blue plastic chairs around it that you’d see in a classroom in the middle of the room. There were a couple boring, beige filing cabinets behind the table on the wall, no carpet on the floor, no pictures or posters or wallpaper on the white cement walls. 

It was weird, but Diego supposed it made sense, considering counterfeiting was the type of job where you probably moved around a lot and didn’t want anything too personal that could indicate who you were left behind. The weirdest part, though, was another chair by the window to the left with half of a bald mannequin in a white and black polka dot shirt sitting in it, seeming to be gazing soullessly out of the window. Now that was possibly the _creepiest_ thing Diego had seen in his entire life.

“Are we supposed to sit and wait for him?” Klaus asked as they stepped inside the room. 

“I guess,” Diego said, but they both jumped when the door on the right wall opened and a fierce-looking teenager in a sharp, black, tailored suit walked out of it carrying a briefcase. It appeared to be a small bathroom that he’d walked out of, and there were no other adults that accompanied him.

“Sit,” the teenager said, walking to the side of the table in front of the filing cabinets and pulling out the single chair on that side. Diego and Klaus looked at each other with matching bewildered expressions, but did as they were told, sitting in the two chairs on the other side of the table. The teenager didn’t say anything else, just wordlessly started unpacking his briefcase - a yellow legal notepad, a fancy fountain pen, and a disposable Kodak camera.

“Uhhh, I think recess is over, kid,” Klaus said with a little snort of laughter. “Where’s your dad?”

It made Diego chuckle too, until the kid looked up and reached in his suit jacket, pulling out a handgun and casually setting it on the table with a calm, unsettling smile. Diego immediately sat upright, frowning furiously and about to ask what the hell was going on here, but the kid spoke before he did. “My name is Five, and if you call me a kid again I will not hesitate to use this.”

“ _Okay!_ I’m sorry, what the _fuck,_ ” Klaus said, his eyebrows raised comically high and holding his hands up. “Wait, _you’re_ Five? But you’re like 10!”

“I’m 16, not that it’s any of your business,” he responded shortly, then held out his hand to Diego. “Envelope?”

Diego handed it over cautiously, and both he and Klaus watched without a word as Five ripped the sticky seal open and pulled out the contents. Just as Diego expected, it was two folders full of papers, but he was not expecting the folders to be full of information about _them._ He felt his temper spike again as he watched Five open the first folder and the top thing was Diego’s teenage mugshot, and he had never felt so angry and breathless at the same time. He heard Klaus gasp next to him and cover his mouth with both hands as they both stared at the upside down, blown up black and white picture of 17 year old Diego - a busted up face and stitches on the side of his head. He hadn’t ever seen the picture, and he felt traumatized all over again.

“ _Oh, Diego,_ you were just a _baby,_ ” Klaus whispered, then dropped one of his hands down to rest over his heart. 

Diego had to bite his tongue and look the other way. Just seeing that picture brought back too much, but he couldn’t break down right here in front of people. He remembered the day he’d been booked after being released from the hospital, his mom kissing him goodbye since they couldn’t pay his bail and he would have to sit in jail until the trial. He could still remember sitting in that cell alone, his fresh head wound throbbing, freezing half to death and having nothing but a cement bench to sit on, for two whole weeks. It made him shiver just thinking about it, now. 

Behind that mugshot was a second one, the one they had taken when he was released. That one hurt way less, but it still made him sick to see it. Five clicked his tongue and shook his head. 

“You’re going to get that shit removed, right?” he asked, glancing at Diego’s make-up covered forehead.

“Removed like, with a laser or whatever?” Klaus asked. “Won’t that still leave a scar?”

“It doesn’t matter, that costs money,” Diego said, folding his arms and slouching in the chair. 

“Nonsense, I’ll make sure it gets taken care of with Luther. You can’t start a new life with a gang tattoo on your fucking forehead,” Five said, turning the mugshot over to the next page in the folder. 

“I don’t want him to pay for it,” Diego said through gritted teeth, but Five completely ignored him while he started reading the full page of text in front of him. It was impossible to read the small lettering, but Diego had a hunch it was his arrest report. 

“Hey,” Klaus said, holding out his hand and nudging Diego’s elbow. He knew Klaus wanted to hold his hand, to comfort him, but Diego was not feeling very receptive to comfort at the moment. He shook his head slightly, keeping his arms crossed and avoiding eye contact. 

“Why didn’t Luther give you all this shit to go over before we got here,” Diego said, watching Five skim more absurdly personal documents about him. 

“I’m a hard person to find,” Five said distractedly.

It dragged on way too long, and Diego had to wonder exactly how much fucking information Luther had on him and how he acquired it all. Klaus was starting to get fidgety next to him, bored of having nothing to stare at in a blank room except the unsettling mannequin in the chair by the window. Diego knew before Klaus even moved that he was going to get up and walk over there, since it was the only thing even worth looking at in the room. 

As soon as Klaus reached out to touch the mannequin Five stood up and grabbed the gun, cocking it and aiming at Klaus in a split second. Diego stood up just as fast, ready to leap over the table and tackle this little motherfucker to the ground.

“ _What the fuck!_ ” he shouted, holding his hands out as if that was going to stop Five from firing. He wanted to lunge at him, but Diego knew Five could pull the trigger faster than he could move. His heart was hammering hard enough to give him a heart attack, “ _Put the gun down right now!_ ”

“Step away from Dolores, please,” Five said calmly, but his eyes were wild, and Diego had no doubt in that moment that he would shoot if Klaus touched the mannequin. Klaus held his hands up and stepped back, then looked back and forth between Five and ‘Dolores’ several times with wide eyes, until something dawned on him.

“That’s a _lovely_ blouse, ma’am,” he said, addressing the mannequin with a smile and a little bow of greeting as if she were a real person. “Could you please ask Five to stop pointing a weapon at me before my boyfriend does something crazy?”

“ _Me_ doing something crazy?” Diego said harshly, frowning so deep he gave himself a headache. Except he saw the smallest smile flash across Five’s face before he lowered the gun, seeming to approve of the way Klaus handled it.

“You’re lucky. She said she likes you, so I’ll let you live,” Five said, straightening his tie and sitting back down in his chair. “Sit down, you’re making her nervous.”

“Are you fucking _serious_ right now?” Diego spat, his heart still pounding hard enough to make him dizzy. He could finally take a breath, but he still wasn’t sure he wasn’t about to kill a fucking _child_ with his bare hands. What the _fuck_ just happened here?

“Deadly. Please sit,” Five said, setting the gun back down on the table and resuming his reading like he didn’t just do the craziest thing in the world. 

Diego looked at Klaus, who looked just as stunned that shit actually happened, but he walked back over to the chair and sat down anyway. As soon as he did, Diego reached out and took his hand, regretting not taking it earlier now to keep him occupied. Diego would never hesitate to hold his hand again. He held on tight even though he was still shaking, and Klaus smiled softly at him.

“I’m okay, it’s okay, honey, just relax,” Klaus said soothingly, rubbing his thumb over Diego’s knuckles. 

“He was going to _shoot you_ ,” Diego said, still completely shook by the whole thing. 

“And I still might if you two don’t shut up. I need utter silence to complete this task,” Five said crisply, then snapped Diego’s folder shut and opened Klaus’. 

“Ugh, I knew that would be in there,” Klaus said, staring at his own mugshot in front of Five now. He let out a snort of laughter and shook his head at himself. 

Diego didn’t think it was possible to smile at the moment, but seeing a younger Klaus was… it was pretty cute, despite the context of the picture and the current situation. Or maybe he was just so beside himself over what just happened that he was temporarily insane, so anything was funny. But the mugshot almost looked fake, because Klaus was making eyes at the camera like he was modeling for a headshot instead of being booked for criminal activity. Diego could just imagine how many times they had to take his picture because Klaus refused to take it seriously.

“The cop that took that wanted to kick my ass,” Klaus said, reaching forward and taking the picture off of the stack of papers, once again demonstrating that he never learned any lessons. Five looked at him like he couldn’t believe Klaus had the audacity, but he let it slide. He shook his head and returned to the documents in front of him. “Can I keep this?”

“Not yet, but you can have it when I finish my work,” Five said, then held up a document that would shift the mood of the room completely again. “Is this the last family that adopted you? The Clines?”

The smile on Klaus’ face morphed into something unreadable, some mix of fear, disgust and sadness that Diego couldn’t put a name to. Klaus swallowed and closed his eyes for a few seconds, then nodded and spoke softly, “Yeah.”

“And is that your last name, still? Your arrest report and rehab documents say ‘Katz,’ but that family never adopted you,” Five said, giving no shits that his questions were clearly upsetting Klaus. 

“If you keep looking there should be a court petition by the mother to reverse the adoption. When her husband died she didn’t want me anymore, because she already had her own three children to take care of alone now, and she… she hated me anyway,” Klaus said, then tossed the mugshot back on the table so he could hug himself. 

“So you would still be Quinn, then. Why go by Katz? How did you even get away with that?”

“I told them Dave Katz and I got married in a church by an ordained minister before he died, but we never had the chance to get a court approved certificate before he went overseas. It wasn’t true, but I guess they didn’t give a shit enough to question it,” Klaus said. Diego had never listened to anything more attentively in his life. He thought he knew _so_ much about Klaus based on the way he rambled about his life, but he didn’t know any of this.

“Weren’t you 17 when you ran away from the Katz’s house? You wouldn’t even have been eligible for marriage without parental consent,” Five pressed. When Klaus just shrugged at him he nodded. “Alright, I suppose it doesn’t matter since you won’t have any of those names once I’m finished. At least your file is interesting. Are you still on drugs?”

“No,” Klaus said, reaching up to rub his temples with both hands. Diego reached over to rub his bicep but this time it was Klaus that rejected the comfort.

“And how long have you been clean?”

“A month.”

“How did you avoid getting picked up by the police for drug possession or prostitution for nearly a decade?” Five asked. 

“How the hell is this relevant?” Diego asked before Klaus could answer. 

“Because I need to assess the likelihood of you both committing more crimes. I don’t do this for people that I think are going to fuck around and get caught doing illegal things again, because it could get traced back to me, or in this case, Luther,” Five explained. “This is a dangerous game he and I are playing, trusting that both of you will keep your heads down after this. _You’ve_ committed several impulsive murders, and he’s a professional heroin junkie, prostitute _and_ murderer-”

“Klaus didn’t murder anyone,” Diego said immediately, but Five rolled his eyes.

“Save the lies for Luther. I know how to read a forensics report. You’re both high risk clients, and if you have a problem with me asking you some personal questions, you can leave,” Five said, then he closed Klaus’ file and picked up his pen. “Are you done?” 

“Yes, but Klaus only killed her to save my life,” Diego said, but he felt stupid for trying to lie, now. He wasn’t sure how a 16 year old could make him feel small, but it was working. Was literally everyone employed by Luther a dick?

“It’s okay Diego, you don’t have to protect me,” Klaus said, sounding like he felt just as small.

“I understand that it was self-defense, but the murder isn’t what makes him risky. It’s the drugs. A month is nothing, a drop in the bucket on the road to recovery from drug addiction,” Five said, and despite what he was saying seeming to be mean, he did sound sympathetic about it. “I’m not discrediting your progress, Klaus, but the likelihood of relapse is still significant. I can’t simply have blind faith that you’re going to stop just because you two are in love, or whatever it is that’s your sudden motive for getting clean. I’m still going to take your case, but I need you to be aware that if you relapse you’re potentially ruining more lives than just your own. Diego, Luther and myself - we’re all counting on you to keep your nose clean. Do you think you can do that?”

“Yes,” Klaus said, his voice wavering from the tears building up.

“Good. I’m going to recommend, no - I’m going to _order_ you to find an N.A. group as soon as you’re both on your own. It doesn’t matter if you feel like you don’t need it, you do,” Five said. Once Klaus nodded in acknowledgement, Five turned his attention back to Diego. “And as for _you,_ you’re going to find an Emotions Anonymous group - yes, they exist, and they will help you deal with your anger management issues. It’s another 12 step program like N.A. and A.A. You’re going to hate it, but you’re a chronic hothead, and you need to get a grip on that before you hurt someone or kill again. If it helps, I’ve had to attend those meetings myself, because I relate. Don’t just say you’re going to and then blow it off, because I’m going to keep tabs on you both for a long time after this meeting. Understood?”

“Wait, you relate? You’ve killed someone before?” Klaus asked before Diego could respond. Five fixed him with an icy, calculating stare for a few moments before he answered. 

“Sometimes this line of work can get dicey and you have to make decisions that you don’t particularly want to, and that’s all I will say on the subject,” Five said.

Diego knew that was a resounding yes, and a chill ran down his spine. He wanted to think there was no way a 16 year old was capable of murder, but he was barely younger than Diego when he’d taken a life. The kid carried a loaded weapon, for Christsakes. As chilling as it was, it was possible, and he felt like maybe Five was one of the first people Diego had ever met to understand what it was like to be a teenage murderer. Perhaps that’s what drove him to genuinely believe that hunk of plastic sitting in the chair by the window actually had thoughts and feelings?

“Anyway, we’re not here to talk about me. I have all your demographic details here in these files, but I still need to ask you some more personal questions. First of all, I need you both to understand that once this deal is done, as far as everyone you know will be concerned, Klaus Quinn and Diego Calderón will be dead. You can never go where anyone you knew in your past would recognize you, you can never contact old friends, you can never visit distant family or use any of the accounts attached to those names again,” Five said, then took a breath and continued. “So, my question to you is, are there any exceptions you’d like to argue for still having contact with? Obviously Luther and his wife, Agnes, Hazel, and several other members of Luther’s staff will still know the truth, but they are all more than loyal to Luther and wouldn’t dare cross him. Klaus?”

“No. I have no one except Diego. I don’t even know if my biological parents are still alive,” Klaus said. 

“Your mother is, but your father was killed in prison by another inmate. Considering you haven’t had contact with your mother in over 20 years, I would strongly suggest not doing so now,” Five said, jotting a couple notes down on his legal pad.

“I definitely wasn’t going to, I don’t even remember her. Is she still in prison?”

“I’m not going to tell you that. It won’t make you feel better either way, and I don’t want you to dwell on it and become tempted to contact her against my judgement,” Five said. “What about Benjamin Yeun?”

“W-what about him?” Klaus said, sitting forward in the chair to listen more intently. 

“There was a note in the foster care files that he tried to contact you in 2009, but you were labeled a missing runaway by then and the agency had no current address or phone number. Will he be a problem?”

“He tried to contact me? I had no idea… I thought he hated me,” Klaus said, his voice trembling again. A tear ran down his cheek and he wiped it quickly. “I-I... I don’t know what to say.”

“I would strongly suggest not contacting him, either,” Five said, then turned to Diego. “And what about you?”

“No,” Diego said, trying to rack his brain for anyone that might ever try to look for him. He had plenty of family on his dad’s side, but they’d all sat on the prosecution side of the courtroom and cheered when he’d been sentenced to prison. They saw him as nothing but the guy who murdered a beloved family member. Surely they didn’t want to speak to him, and the feeling was mutual. “I think my mom’s sister lives in Florida, but she hasn’t spoken to me since I was like 11, so I have no reason to contact her.”

“Diego, are you sure? What if you want to know more about your mom?” Klaus asked, still teary eyed from the question about Ben.

“If it affects your decision, she’s in frequent contact with Luther, as well. She would be safe to keep in your life, I believe, if you want that,” Five said.

“Am I allowed to change my mind later?” Diego asked, his knee bouncing nervously as he thought about it. 

“Well, that depends on your answer now. If you say yes, and she knows about your new identity, then no you can’t change your mind. If you want to say no, and keep her in the dark, you could eventually change your mind and Luther can fill her in,” Five explained.

“Alright, then no, I don’t want her to know anything for now,” Diego said, thankful to have an easy out for that problem. He could think about it more deeply later, because Klaus was right, it might be nice to talk to someone about his mom that actually loved her as much as he did. Plus, his aunt was the last person Grace lived with before she passed. He knew next to nothing about what happened to her after she had to leave Philadelphia to live with her sister.

“Great, I’ll make sure Luther knows that you’re still open to it in the future, though,” Five said, then steepled his fingers to continue on to the next order of business. “Neither of you-”

“Wait,” Klaus interrupted. He’d been chewing off what was left of his thumbnail while Five and Diego talked, but he didn’t want to miss this chance. “What if I wanted to talk to Ben? Even if it was just to say goodbye?”

Five sighed and leaned forward on his elbows. 

“You’ve got to think of the ramifications of that, Klaus. If you talk to him, who’s to say he won’t rat you out with authorities? Considering how easily his family flipped on you in the past, I can’t say I condone taking that risk,” Five said. “You can’t let sentiment cloud your judgement when it comes to securing your future.”

“Sentiment is all I have left to my name. Plus, Ben wasn’t like his parents, I don’t think he would do that to me. Especially if he tried to find me right after he turned 18, that makes me think he might not have supported what his parents did to me,” Klaus said, and Diego could hear the note of pleading in his tone. It tugged on his heartstrings, and he really hoped Five could see how much this meant to him. Five sighed even deeper and picked up his pen to jot down another note.

“I don’t have his contact information here, but I’m going to have Luther thoroughly vet him before I have him pass on the number to you, alright? If both Luther and I think he’s safe, you should have his number within a week or two,” Five said, then set his pen down again. “But when you talk to him, you’re not to tell him your new name or where you are, is that something you can agree to?”

“Yes. I just want to talk to him and know he’s okay,” Klaus said, smiling again just at the concept of reconnecting with Ben.

“Anyway, it says here that neither of you got your high school diploma. Is there a reason you didn’t do a G.E.D. program while you were in prison?” Five asked, clearly addressing Diego.

“I was a little busy trying not to die every day. Plus, it’s not like anyone gives a felon a job after they get released, anyway,” Diego said with a shrug.

“I’m going to do my best to find you both identities that have at least finished high school, but I’m also going to suggest you both study and take practice tests for a G.E.D. until you can pass them easily on your own. Diego, I can see you were a straight A student until your last two years of high school, so I’m sure you will have no problem. You, on the other hand,” Five said, turning to Klaus. “Did you ever turn in a single homework assignment?”

“No, they were boring and I had better things to do,” Klaus said with a flippant shrug. “It’s not like I couldn’t do them if I wanted to, I just didn’t care.”

“Study the books, take the practice tests. You’re going to have to have some of those skills in the adult world, especially math and English. Also get some books on writing resumes,” Five said, and then put the cap on his pen and started packing up everything besides the camera. “All we have left to do for this visit is to take your picture for your new I.D.s.”

“Ugh, no one said anything about pictures,” Klaus said, both of his hands immediately going up to his head to fluff his curls. Diego wished they had more warning. He could have really used a fucking haircut, even if he had to do it himself with clippers in the bathroom.

“No shit, I don’t want the picture for my new identity to have me looking like a shaggy dog,” Diego said, running a hand through his own mess of a hairdo. The top was so long it didn’t stand up anymore, and the sides were well over his ear and down the back of his neck. He’d had the same crisp haircut since he was 12, and this was so far away from that look he could hardly handle it.

“Get used to it. I would also recommend you not cutting your hair for a long time, because you’re going to need it to cover that extremely recognizable scar on your face, at least somewhat,” Five said. He ignored Diego’s look of disgust as he pulled out a folded up, light blue rectangle of fabric from his briefcase.

As Five taped up the piece of cloth to the wall near the window, Klaus stood up in front of Diego and started playing with his hair. Diego was in no mood to smile, but staring up at Klaus while he tried to style his hair into something presentable made the corners of his mouth perk up anyway.

“There, now you look cute,” Klaus said, tucking a few stray strands behind Diego’s ear and petting his cheek. 

“You’re always cute,” Diego said, reaching up to grab the front of Klaus’ shirt and pull him down for a quick kiss.

“Very sweet, you’re going to make me vomit. One of you get up here so I can get this done,” Five said, gesturing to the fabric backdrop he’d taped up. 

Klaus went first, trying his best to behave himself for this picture, unlike his mugshot. Diego followed, and he had a harder time with it. Five scolded him for frowning, and then scolded him for staring at Klaus instead of the camera, and then micro-managed the way he tilted his head, too. Diego tried to follow the directions, but after several attempts Five waved him away.

“That will have to do. You’re the most unphotogenic person I’ve ever met,” Five said, turning the wheel on the disposable camera to take another picture of Diego. Except he turned around and snapped one of ‘Dolores’ staring out of the window, then laughed. “She hates it when I take her picture when she isn’t looking. The candid moments are the best, though, you know?”

“Uh, right, sure,” Diego said with a nod, trying to play along with this delusion the way Klaus had, even though he could barely contain his sarcasm. As soon as Five looked away he shook his head. 

“Alright, I’ll be in touch with Luther if I need anything else from you both. Until then, keep your head down. Don’t leave Luther’s unless absolutely necessary, and don’t do anything stupid,” Five said. “The rest is up to me, and I’m the best there is, so you’re in good hands.”

“Thanks for your help,” Klaus said, walking over to Diego to take his hand, and then lead him toward the door.

They didn’t say anything else until they made it out of the building in a bit of a rush, and then climbed in the back of Hazel’s car with dumb grins. 

“Okay first of all, what the fuck, Hazel,” Klaus said as soon as they shut the car doors.

“Hmm?” he responded, staring at them in the rearview mirror.

“Thanks for warning us that he was in 10th grade, and also completely off his shit,” Diego said, making Hazel laugh for the first time ever. 

“Oh yeah, he’s balls to the wall crazy, for sure. But he’s also the smartest person I’ve ever met even though he’s young. We play poker every other Thursday if I’m in town, and he never loses. Card counting little fucker,” Hazel said, nodding at his own words.

“Did you smell the vodka on him? How does he even buy booze?” Klaus asked, but Diego genuinely had not noticed that.

“Maybe Dolores buys it for him,” Diego said, even though he felt a little bad about joking about that. The kid clearly had issues, but who in this car could say they didn’t have them, too?

“God, that’s so mean but so funny,” Klaus said, snorting and shaking his head. “Okay, so we know he’s crazy but… I kind of liked him.”

“He pointed a _loaded gun_ at you!” Diego said, frowning because he almost forgot about that temporarily with all the other crazy shit that happened. 

“Sure, but nothing happened! You have to admit, it was easier to talk to him than anyone else here so far, especially Luther,” Klaus said. 

The most startling part was that… Klaus was right. In one conversation Five had been weirdly engaging and honest with them, in a way Luther hadn’t been at all. He had even tried to relate with Diego about having anger issues, something that he got the impression Five didn’t share with just anyone. Then again, Diego could never let himself _like_ the guy that pointed a gun at the person he loved, even if it hadn’t resulted in anything bad. 

Nevertheless, Diego felt conflicted, because he may not like Five, but rarely did he find himself _trusting_ someone so fast. Especially someone that held an entire folder of Diego’s deepest secrets and personal information. And yet he strangely had no doubt that Five knew what he was doing, and would handle their sensitive information carefully. _He still works for Luther,_ Diego’s mind supplied - that point was enough to make him second guess that impulsive inclination to trust him. The whole day had given him much to think about, and he’d spent the rest of the drive back to Luther’s lost in thought while Klaus and Hazel continued to discuss Five.

Walking back into Luther’s brought that familiar cloud of animosity over Diego’s head, but they seemed to be blissfully alone in the house. Then again, this place was so enormous, who knew if Allison or Luther were actually there? Either way, nobody seemed to need their attention, so Klaus and Diego returned to their room. Klaus wanted to go exploring but Diego told him that would be rude to go snooping around without asking permission. Klaus didn’t seem convinced. Thankfully he dropped the subject as soon as they got back to the room, but something else that troubled Diego occurred to Klaus instead.

“Will you get in that jacuzzi tub with me?” Klaus asked, kneeling on the black chest at the end of the bed. He was draping the top half of his body over the end of the mattress, just enough to put his face in Diego’s line of sight from where he sat cross-legged up by the pillows. “We can leave our underwear on and it won’t be weird, I promise.”

“Why, though?” Diego asked, frowning and trying to decide if that would be a bad idea or not.

“Because it will be fun and relaxing! I almost got shot at today, plus it’s officially the day past-me dies and I get a new identity, which is _crazy,_ ” Klaus said, reaching his arm forward so he could grab the ankle hem of Diego’s pants and tug them impatiently. “I deserve to relax, and so do you.”

“I can’t think of many things less relaxing than bathing in one tub with someone else,” Diego said. 

“It’s a big tub designed for at least two people! I promise I won’t even touch you while we’re in there,” Klaus said, slithering his way up the bed until his face was at Diego’s shins. His puppy-dog eyes and pouty lips were melting Diego’s resolve like butter in the sun. “Please, I need this distraction. I know you’re fine with sitting around thinking broody thoughts, but I’m not.”

Diego sighed and reached up to brush his knuckles over Klaus’ cheek. “Go run the water.”

Klaus’ entire expression brightened immediately, and he turned his head to give Diego a quick peck on the wrist before scrambling off the bed. Diego could only shake his head and smile softly as he watched Klaus animatedly dance-run to the bathroom. He was so good at getting exactly what he wanted out of Diego with just a look.

It shouldn’t be this stressful just to walk in the bathroom, this was not even that bad, but Diego still paced in front of the door several times after Klaus called for him. He could hear him splashing around in there, already waiting in the jacuzzi tub. At least Klaus hasn’t remembered their skinny-dipping deal that Diego had agreed to all those weeks ago at the laundromat in North Dakota, that would be even worse. On that note, Diego forced himself to walk into the bathroom. 

“I thought you’d bailed on me,” Klaus said loudly over the running faucet and rumbling jets. His hair and naked shoulders were covered in bubbles and he had dimmed the lights to just be a warm glow instead of harsh white light. It was still daylight outside, so the stained glass behind the tub lit up the white bubbles with color, making Klaus look like a hazy dream. He must have noticed Diego looking stiff and uncomfortable because he spoke up again, “I won’t watch you get in, if you’re nervous about getting undressed.”

“It’s fine,” Diego said, but that was a much braver sentiment than he was actually feeling. It was dumb, though. He had no reason for Klaus to not see him this way, they were _a couple_ for chrissakes. Not all nudity had to be sexualized, right? This was fine. 

Diego noticed Klaus’ heap of clothes off to the side of the tub and decided to leave his own there, too. He turned his back on Klaus and shucked his shirt, then his socks, then untied the drawstring on his sweatpants. He looked over his shoulder and almost laughed because Klaus did as he said he would, focusing very hard on reading the back of the pink bubble bath gel bottle instead of watching Diego strip. He took a deep breath and dropped his pants, then climbed up on the marble platform and gracelessly flopped into the hot water in his haste to be submerged in suds. Smooth.

“Did you just fall in?” Klaus asked, finally looking away from the gel bottle. He set it on the ledge and floated as far back as he could, making sure to keep his promise to not touch Diego as much as possible. 

“Definitely not,” Diego said, wiping water out of his eyes and swiping his soaked hair out of his face. Klaus giggled and leaned over to turn the tap off, which Diego didn’t even realize had been adding to his anxiety until the loud noise ceased. The sound of the jet motor was still annoying, but he was able to ignore that easier and instead focus on how satisfying the hot water felt on his muscles. 

“See, it’s nice,” Klaus said, leaning back casually against the ledge. “There was also a glittery bath bomb in that basket but I figured you wouldn’t appreciate that.”

“Good call. I’m sure that was a hard choice for you to resist, though,” Diego said with a smirk. Now that the anxiety of stripping down to his underwear was out of the way, he couldn’t deny that this wasn’t such a bad thing. The water was soothing, the jet on his back was pummeling out some knots he didn’t even know he had, and… Klaus was just adorable doing anything, so Diego was enjoying the view as well.

“It was, you’re welcome. I wouldn’t forego the glitter for anyone else. Instead we just get to smell like pina colada,” Klaus said, then yawned. “Fuck, I should not be tired this early in the afternoon. I need to at least stay awake until after dinner.”

“Ugh. I don’t want to see Luther and his stupid elaborate dinner display again,” Diego said, back to frowning again so fast.

“Maybe we don’t have to eat with him. But you _are_ going to eat tonight,” Klaus said, fixing Diego with a narrow-eyed look.

“We’ll see,” Diego said, folding his arms and glaring at the bubbles so he wasn’t aiming it at Klaus. 

“Diego, you have to eat while you’re here. I don’t know why you think going on a hunger strike is going to fix anything with Luther,” Klaus said with a sigh. 

“I didn’t say it was going to fix anything,” Diego said, and just like that he wanted to get out already. “Plus, I already ate today, I’ll be fine.”

“Honey, you can’t do this forever.”

“I’m the boss of my appetite, okay? Just don’t worry about it,” Diego said with a note of finality, he wasn’t going to discuss this god damn it. 

“But that’s _exactly_ what I’m worried about. Hunger isn’t something you can _dominate,_ Diego. I know you do this whenever you feel out of control, but that’s a slippery slope toward having a real problem,” Klaus said, and Diego could see out of the corner of his eye that Klaus really wanted to reach out, to get close to him. 

“It’s _not_ a _‘problem!’_ I thought we’re supposed to be relaxing?” Diego snapped. Klaus was staring at him with that kicked puppy face, but Diego ignored it.

What the hell was Klaus trying to say, anyway? That he was starving himself on purpose like a chubby cheerleader afraid of getting kicked off the squad? This wasn’t about his _weight,_ (although he _could_ stand to lose the extra pounds he’d put on since his release, he thought.) It wasn’t anything like that, though. Diego just hated accepting food from people he didn’t like, especially fucking _Luther._ Accepting the other help was already bad enough, and if he didn’t want to eat, that was his fucking prerogative. Plus, lots of people don’t eat when they are stressed, why was Diego any different?

“I’m sorry. I probably overstepped, I’m just worried because I care about you,” Klaus said, and of course he made Diego feel guilty for getting defensive even though he felt he had every right to be. 

Then again, he thought about the times Klaus had mentioned starving for real, because of homelessness and lack of resources. It would make sense why Diego not eating out of spite when there was plenty of food being offered might bother him. Or maybe Diego was just telling himself that was the reason because it was easier than accepting that Klaus really thought he had some kind of eating disorder or whatever? Either way, Diego felt justified in his own reasons for his eating habits, especially when he knew he would always give in and eat eventually. It was really no big deal.

“Well trust me when I tell you that you have nothing to worry about. I’m not like, anorexic or anything. Just bitter and stubborn, I guess, but I’m sorry to make you worry,” Diego said with a sigh. 

“I didn’t say you were- just, nevermind. Please just be conscious of letting your emotions affect your eating habits, is all,” Klaus said, then sighed heavily, too. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it weird in here without even flirting with you.”

“I think I would honestly rather be flirted with,” Diego said, reaching his foot out far enough to run his toe down Klaus’ shin. Klaus smiled softly and rolled his eyes.

“Come over here, then,” he said, scooting over to his right on his side to make room. 

Diego bit his lip and weighed the consequences, but decided it would be fine. He floated across the middle of the jacuzzi and settled in next to Klaus, feeling the heat of him pressed against his side from underwear-covered hip to bare knee. To his surprise, Klaus just locked their fingers together under the water and rested his head on Diego’s right shoulder. That wasn’t very flirty of him, and Diego certainly couldn’t imagine anything would stop Klaus from flirting if he had permission.

“Is something wrong?” Diego asked, resting his nose and chin against Klaus’ damp hair.

“No, sorry, I guess I just don’t feel much like flirting after all,” Klaus said. His voice was so quiet Diego almost didn’t hear him over the rumbling jets, and he was clutching Diego’s hand like he was afraid to lose it. 

“Are you still worried about the eating thing? I promise I’ll eat tonight, okay?”

“No, it’s not that. I mean I’m still worried about that, but… everything Five said today is just catching up with me,” Klaus said, then lifted his head to look Diego in the face. “Do you think Ben really tried to find me?”

“I have no idea, but I don’t think the kid or the foster place would lie about that,” Diego said. “Are you going to call him if you get his number?

“I don’t know… I can’t imagine a scenario where he doesn’t still hate me,” Klaus said, then shook his head. “It’s literally impossible that he doesn’t.”

“Well, like you told Five, maybe he could recognize that his parents made a bad choice. You said you guys were close, right?”

“We were, but that was before I fucked up. Plus, is it even worth it just to call him and say goodbye if I’m never allowed to talk to him again? Or have him in my life? Why bother?” Klaus said, getting more animated with his face and hand gestures with every question. “Just to rip open old wounds and remind him of a horrible memory, then disappear again? He would definitely hate me after that, if he doesn’t already.”

“I don’t think he hates you, but you’re probably not wrong about it being upsetting to hear from you and then have you disappear immediately again,” Diego said, nodding even though he wanted so badly to tell Klaus he had nothing to worry about and that it would all end well.

“Do you really think he would turn me in if he knew the truth?”

“I have no idea. I don’t know him like you do, and really, you don’t know what kind of person he grew up to be either. He may be nothing like the introverted nerd you knew as a teenager anymore,” Diego said, and he could tell by the frown on Klaus’ face that that hadn’t even occurred to him yet. “All you can do is hope he would understand - both your reasons for what happened in the past, and your situation now. If it’s important to you, then take the risk. No matter what happens, you couldn’t be any worse off than you are now by not knowing anything.”

“Even if he does end up hating me? I mean I already assume he does, but I don’t know that having confirmation of that would make me feel anything but horrible,” Klaus said, then reached for something on his chest that wasn’t there. “Ugh, I wish I had my locket.”

“What locket?” Diego asked. He had no memory of Klaus having a locket since they’d met. 

“The locket that was on the same chain as my dog tags from Dave. It had a picture of me and Ben in it when we were teenagers,” Klaus explained. “But… I lost it when I left my coat in the motel room.”

“Really? God, Klaus, I’m sorry. I didn’t know that happened,” Diego said. That was so fucking sad, and Diego felt that familiar pang of guilt that he ruined Klaus’ life in so many ways. He’d lost so much, it wasn’t fair.

“It’s… well, it’s not okay, but there’s no chance I can ever get it back, so there’s no use crying about it,” Klaus said with a defeated shrug. Diego was in the middle of trying to think of something comforting to say when Klaus noticed the dark pink bullet wound scar on his right arm. He reached up and ran his wet fingertips over the warped scar tissue. “I would do it all again.”

“Do what?”

“Everything we’ve done together, I wouldn’t take it back even if I could. I miss the locket and dog tags, but I’m not sorry I took that shot and got us out of there when I did. Keeping you alive was more important than the things I lost,” Klaus said, and Diego was not prepared for that heavy of a declaration. It made his heart beat fast and flooded him with so much love and gratitude, because how the hell did he get so lucky to earn such sweet, selfless love like this?

He wished they weren’t having this conversation in a fucking tub of all places. He wanted to just - _fuck it,_ it was going to do it anyway. Diego turned his body on the seat and reached up to cup Klaus’ cheek with his left hand, turning Klaus’ face so he could lean in and kiss him. It wasn’t meant to be a sexy kiss, more like an _I-love-you-so-much_ kiss, but Klaus hummed softly against his mouth and turned his body so he could reach out to rest his hand on Diego’s bare chest. 

It made Diego's heartbeat start racing immediately, so he tried to focus more on the way the kiss made his lips tingle instead, with Klaus sucking on his bottom lip. Oh no, maybe that was too much, too. Maybe it would be okay on a bed, but in the water Diego felt too out of control, too exposed despite the overall chastity of a kiss with no tongue and a simple hand on his chest. He was just getting ready to pull back gently when Klaus pulled back first and whipped his head around to listen toward the door. 

“What?”

“Did you hear a knock or am I crazy?” Klaus asked, then reached past Diego to turn the jets off. They both listened intently once the jets died out, and there was indeed another knock at the bedroom door. 

“Shit, hang on, I’ll go see who it is,” Klaus said, but Diego grabbed his elbow.

“No, wait, finish your bath. I’ll go, I need to get out anyway,” he said, then leaned forward enough to give Klaus a quick cheek kiss. 

Klaus pouted when he stood up and walked to the front of the tub, but Diego was too focused on getting out as quickly as possible to worry about it. Thankfully the anxiety of there being someone to speak to at the door overrode his anxiety about being seen in his underwear, at least for the most part. Once he was out he had a new, separate panic about having to put dry clothes on his wet skin, but then Klaus read his mind. 

“There’s a clean robe hanging on the back of the bathroom door,” he said, like the lifesaver he was. Klaus continued to ramble while Diego crossed the bathroom and shimmied on one of the super soft white robes. “Even though this is supposedly not a hotel. Or maybe rich people offer complimentary fancy soap baskets and fluffy robes to all their guests, who knows.”

Diego tied the robe securely around his waist and left the bathroom, walking only a few more paces to the bedroom door. He wished there was a peephole, but no such luck. He was just about to open it when the person knocked again, making Diego jump and frown. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming,” he muttered, unlocking the door and pulling it open. Sylvia, the woman from earlier that morning, was standing at the door with a tea cart next to her and a letter in her hand. 

“Hello sir, sorry to disturb you,” she said, then handed Diego the letter. “It’s from Mrs. Hargreeves. She sincerely apologizes for missing another meal, but her and Mr. Hargreeves will not be home for supper this evening. She sent these.”

“Oh, okay, thank you,” Diego said, staring at the tea cart she gestured to. There were two large pizza boxes and a bag of bread on the top rack, and several different kinds of drinks, glasses, plates and cutlery wrapped in cloth napkins on the bottom rack.

“If you guys don’t want these, just come down to the kitchen and someone will be happy to make you something else. There’s also a refrigerator down there if you have leftovers you want to keep, but you can call if you want someone to take it down there for you,” she explained, then walked behind the cart so she could push it into the room.

“Oh, I think the two of us can probably put both of those away no problem, so that shouldn’t be necessary,” Diego said, stepping aside as she pushed the cart past him and left it in front of the dresser. “Thank you.”

As she turned around and started to leave, Diego noticed her eyes dart to his forehead and then dart away just as quickly. Right, the makeup must have washed off while he was in the tub, great. Diego felt like fucking Harry Potter, and as much as he didn’t want Luther to have to pay for tattoo removal, he would be more than happy to be rid of it. Sylvia nodded to him politely as she saw herself out and closed the door behind her.

It was an easy annoyance to let go when Diego walked over to the tea cart and inhaled the amazing scent of pizza and garlic bread. He lifted the lid of the top box and steam rolled off the pizza as if it just came out of the oven. It looked to be a supreme pizza with a copious amount of toppings and thick, fancy crust sprinkled with cheese and herbs. 

Of course, even a pizza was gourmet here, but Diego couldn’t even pretend not to be excited. He didn’t have to see Luther, he didn’t have to force himself to eat in front of an audience, he didn’t have to answer for anything - it would just be him and Klaus sitting in their pajamas eating pizza. A perfect end to an otherwise extremely stressful day.

Diego was just about to check what toppings were on the second pizza when he noticed the boxes were sitting on a raised cotton towel. When he peeked under the towel he saw a wide black brick, and he could feel the heat radiating off of it like blistering hot blacktop in the afternoon sun. Even better, that would keep them warm while he and Klaus got dressed and junk. 

“What smells like heaven?” Klaus asked as he came out of the bathroom 15 minutes later, wrapped in another fluffy white robe. Diego was already dressed and sitting on the bed waiting for him, and he couldn’t stop himself from admiring how cute Klaus looked in his robe, all fresh and soft. 

“Allison sent pizza. I guess they won’t be home tonight,” Diego said. He watched Klaus pick up the lid to stare at the toppings the same way he did.

“Fuck yeah, this will make up for the time that cop ruined it for us last time we were supposed to have pizza,” Klaus said, then reached in the bag and pulled out a breadstick and took a huge bite. 

Diego remembered the day, almost a month ago exactly, when he and Klaus had gone into the Chicago pub for pizza but had to leave. He also remembered that it was the first night that Klaus had called him beautiful, and he blushed all over again. He hadn’t thought about it in a long time, and his heart felt warmer than it had since they got here. But then he watched Klaus pick up the letter he’d left on the cart and he remembered he had to speak and stuff like a normal person, not just gaze affectionately like a creep.

“Oh, that letter is from Allison, too. I forgot to open it,” Diego said. Klaus took the paper out of the envelope and read out loud. 

“ _Diego and Klaus, I’m so sorry to ditch you guys tonight, but Luther had a charity event that we had to attend. I promise we’re not trying to keep you shut up in the bedroom by sending you meals! Tomorrow I’ll make you guys some awesome steaks to make up for it. Enjoy your night! - Allison_ ,” Klaus read, then smiled as he stuffed the letter back in the envelope and picked his breadstick back up off the top of the pizza box. “She’s so sweet, I love her.”

“You love anyone that’s nice to you for five minutes,” Diego said. It wasn’t an insult, he personally adored how easily Klaus could love others.

“And what about it?” Klaus asked, then bit off a huge bite of breadstick with some sass. 

After some shuffling around and deliberating, and Klaus taking a cigarette break on the balcony, they decided to set everything up at the little coffee table by the TV and loveseat. Klaus decided to stay in his snuggly robe with shorts on underneath, and Diego decided to remain shirtless despite his anxiety, because he wanted to try to get himself used to being seen by Klaus that way without any sexual connotation. Just a couple of boyfriends eating pizza, snuggling and watching movies on a night in, nothing racy or stressful. As long as Diego ignored where they were outside the bedroom.

They made it through a movie and a half, and almost both boxes of pizza before Klaus dozed off against Diego’s shoulder. It was no surprise, anytime they watched TV together Klaus inevitably passed out even though he was always the one to pick the movies. It was early, only like quarter to eight, but Diego was sleepy, too. He yawned and lifted his shoulder a little to rouse Klaus.

“Hey, you can get in bed if you’re tired,” Diego said, running his fingers down Klaus’ forearm under the sleeve of the robe. Klaus blinked a few times and then turned his arm so he could catch Diego’s hand that was on him. He didn’t look all cute and sleep-disheveled like usual, he seemed to awake already anxious. “What’s wrong?”

“Don’t let me leave,” he said, resting his head back down on Diego’s shoulder and holding Diego’s hand tightly with both of his.

“I wasn’t planning on it - _oh!_ Are you having a hard time?” he asked, interrupting himself as he remembered why Klaus usually said that to him. 

“Kind of, I’m sorry,” Klaus whispered, and Diego hated how much self-loathing he could hear in Klaus’ voice. “It’s been building all day.”

“Don’t apologize, it’s bound to still happen sometimes. Was it because we went back into the city?”

“Yes. God, the second we stepped out of the car it was this instant calling. I could immediately eyeball who I would ask just from where we were parked in an alley. The smells and sounds and just the general energy - it makes me…” Klaus said, trailing off so he could take a shaky breath. “It makes me _miss it,_ and I’m so fucking sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, you’re telling me instead of hiding it or running back to the drugs. That’s good, and I won’t let you leave,” Diego said, letting go of Klaus’ hand so he could drape his arm around Klaus’ shoulders and hold him closer.

“I still feel stupid and selfish for even letting myself think of ways I could do it without you knowing. Like, I have priced the pawn value of everything in this house we’ve walked by, I mentally took down the number of a taxi service I saw while we were in town, I’ve come up with excuses on how to keep you distracted while I left for a couple hours…” Klaus said, and every bit was hard to hear, but Diego tried to remain calm. “I _hate_ myself for thinking those kinds of things, even though I can’t stop myself when my mind can’t break out of that thought pattern.”

“But here you are, telling me all this stuff instead of doing it, because even though you want the drugs, you want to be _better_ more,” Diego said. 

“It just fucking sucks that I can’t have both, the drugs and a happy life with you, but I understand why I can’t. Especially after what Five said. Ugh, God, he made it so much worse. Just knowing that if I slip up I ruin everyone’s lives is so much pressure, it just makes me feel even more guilty for having these cravings that feel impossible to ignore,” Klaus said, then reached up and wiped a tear before it had the chance to fall. Diego wasn’t sure how to respond anymore, but he dug deeper and tried to find anything else comforting he could think of. 

“You’ve done an incredible job of ignoring them so far, and you’ve been nothing but honest with me when you’re struggling. Don’t feel guilty about the cravings, you said yourself you can’t help it when they happen,” Diego said, hoping he wasn’t being patronizing rather than comforting. “If you had any other illness would you be beating yourself up for experiencing symptoms?”

“I guess not, but other illnesses don’t make you think about committing crimes and betraying your loved ones,” Klaus said.

“That’s not true. There are a lot of mental conditions that make you think about bad things,” Diego said, but that wasn’t the direction he wanted to take this either. Sure, addiction was an illness, but he wanted to be careful of making Klaus feel broken. He could tell he was starting to lose Klaus anyway, so he tried to wrap up his thoughts. “Listen, you have to be nicer to yourself while you’re recovering, and then every day after that, too. The self-hatred is part of what pushes you in the wrong direction to begin with, and you have no reason to hate yourself, anyway.”

Klaus snorted softly to himself and muttered, “Maybe not in your eyes.”

“It’s going to be okay, babe. Just keep holding on to whatever has kept you clean this long, and keep telling me when you need me, and you can get through this,” Diego said, then kissed the side of Klaus’ head again. “Why don’t you go get in bed and we can read, or you can keep talking if you want. Either way we need to get off this couch. It’s not as comfortable as it looks.”

“That’s definitely true,” Klaus said, then yawned into his own elbow. “At least if you read to me I can focus on something else.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Next chapter 12/18! Thanks again for the support and feedback ♥♥  
> \- P.S. I knew nothing about getting new identities or surgery on gunshot wounds when I started this story, but I did a lot of research, so hopefully I sold all that! (and hopefully the government doesn't put me on a watch list or something for googling how to live off the grid lol)


	22. The Fool: Nineteen

_**September 29th, 2015, 6:38am**_

It had been a long, boring, anxious night. After they cleaned up the pizza mess and got into bed, Klaus fell asleep pretty easily with Diego’s arms wrapped around him. Diego had spent the entire night hovering on the edge of consciousness even when he did manage to doze off for a few minutes. He was too afraid to fall into a deeper sleep and miss it if Klaus tried to get out of bed and sneak out. He would absolutely hate himself if that happened, so the loss of sleep was worth it to him. Besides, it’s not like he had anywhere to be, he could just nap later or something. He did need to get up and use the bathroom soon, and move his arm, because Klaus had been lying on it for so, _so_ long. Diego was half convinced he would never feel either arm again at this rate.

“Hey, lift up for a minute,”’ Diego said, close to Klaus’ ear. No luck, Klaus was sleeping hard. “Klaus, wake up.”

Diego tried a different approach. He kissed Klaus’ neck over the collar of the robe he fell asleep in, then kissed his hair, then his ear, then his jaw. When Klaus ignored all those, Diego decided to be brave and gave Klaus’ neck a little nip. Not hard enough to really hurt, but definitely hard enough to snap Klaus into consciousness. Surely there were other ways to get him up, but Diego was sleep deprived, okay? It seemed like a good idea at the time.

“Did you just bite me?” Klaus mumbled, reaching his hand up to touch the spot. Diego moved his face to nuzzle Klaus’ curls.

“Little bit,” Diego said, smirking and blushing in his hair. He knew what he did. Klaus rolled over to face him, still resting heavily on Diego’s arm that he really needed back.

“The sun isn’t even out yet, why are you trying to turn me on?” Klaus asked, his sleepy eyes still trying to scan Diego’s face in the minimal light shining through the balcony window.

“I wasn’t trying, but it’s good to know how easy it is if I wanted to,” Diego said, leaning forward to kiss Klaus’ forehead. 

“Ugh, God, you don’t even need to try,” Klaus said, reaching up to scratch his nails lightly over Diego’s stubbly jaw. “I would kiss you but your breath smells like the dumpster behind an Olive Garden.”

Diego snorted softly and moved his head to rest on the pillow instead of so close to Klaus’ face. He definitely should have brushed his teeth after pizza last night, but it was hard to remember that sort of thing with no routine. He wouldn’t forget again, though.

“Thanks, you’re beautiful, too,” he said, still smirking affectionately at Klaus. “But I need you to get off my arm before I have two dead extremities.”

“What? Oh shit, why didn’t you say so,” Klaus said, pushing himself up on his elbow and hip so Diego could have his arm back.

“I did, but you were sleeping hard,” he said, then rolled on his back to regain normal circulation.

“Well now I’m awake hard,” Klaus said. Diego wasn’t sure if his own mind was in the gutter or if Klaus meant…

“Be back in a few,” Diego said, throwing the covers off himself and getting out of bed at top speed before he got any confirmation of said hardness.

After Diego did all his bathroom business, including getting dressed for the day, he came back into the bedroom to find Klaus gone - or at least he thought so for a few heart-stopping seconds. Once he noticed Klaus’ silhouette through the balcony curtains, he took a deep breath, but his heart was still erratic. He was definitely going to have a heart attack one of these days. Klaus stepped back inside a few seconds later, bringing in a waft of smoke smell behind him.

“There is such a pretty garden down there, we should go walk in it one day,” Klaus said, then shucked his robe and threw it on the bed. 

“We can do that today, if you want. But first, coffee,” Diego said, suddenly missing the room service from yesterday. How quickly he got spoiled. 

“I wonder where we’re supposed to go for breakfast? That dining room from the other night?” Klaus asked, then tugged on the same pink t-shirt he’d worn yesterday.

“I have no idea. Maybe the kitchen? That Sylvia woman mentioned we should take the leftovers to the kitchen, so I assume we’re allowed in there,” Diego said, but Klaus’ eyes lit up for some reason. He walked over to the coffee table and lifted the lid of one of the pizza boxes.

“Fuck yes, I love cold pizza,” Klaus said, picking up a piece and biting into it despite it being left out all night.

“Ew. Do you have a death wish?” Diego asked, wrinkling his nose as he watched Klaus inhale actual trash.

“What? Everyone eats leftover pizza. Don’t look at me like that,” Klaus said with his mouth full. 

“Only raccoons eat pizza that’s been out all night,” Diego said, making Klaus roll his eyes and swallow his bite.

“Okay this time you’re definitely the wrong one. I’ve known 45 year old crunchy granola moms that still eat pizza left on the counter all night. It’s fine,” Klaus said, waving his hand and then dropping the half-eaten piece back into the box. “I haven’t died from it yet.”

“What the fuck is a crunchy granola mom?” Diego asked, then sat on the bed while he watched Klaus finish getting ready for the day. 

“Just like,” Klaus said, sliding on his bracelets he’d left on the dresser. “Like moms that are super into health food and organic living and shit.”

Diego didn’t say anything else, just watched Klaus finish getting ready so they could head down to the kitchen in search of coffee. They assumed the kitchen would be close to that big dining room since Diego remembered Allison going in there on the first night they arrived, and he was right. Klaus walked in first, giving no shits if he was allowed in there or not. Diego peered around him and didn’t see… anyone. It was just an expansive, empty kitchen that looked like it belonged in a small restaurant rather than a household of two.

“Maybe we could just make our own food?” Klaus said, strolling right up to the tall, metal-front refrigerator and opening the door like he owned the place. “Wow, this is an entire fridge of vegetables. You would love it, look.”

Klaus stepped back so Diego could see shelves and shelves of fresh produce in little crates and drawers. Klaus was right, Diego did love it - that, in addition to all the fancy looking cookware hanging from racks over the six-burner stove, and the large display of knives hanging from a magnet on the wall behind that - he wanted to make something _so_ much. But he would never just barge into a strange kitchen and start cooking, there had to be someone around here that was allowed to do that for them. 

“We can’t just start touching stuff that’s not ours. We need to find Allison or Luther first,” Diego said, but he did walk up to Klaus’ side and stare into the fridge with a little bit of embarrassing excitement. Who gets excited about a nice kitchen? This guy, apparently.

“You’re such a polite house guest,” Klaus said, then reached in and grabbed a peach from the top of a little crate of fresh fruit. He sniffed it and then took a bite, then held it out to Diego for him to bite it, too. “Don’t frown, just try it. Nobody is going to care, I promise.”

Diego was tempted, it looked juicy and he did kind of like eating food that Klaus offered to feed him by hand, but a different door opened deeper into the kitchen and around a corner. He panicked immediately, grabbing the peach from Klaus’ hand and setting it back on top the crate. Then he grabbed Klaus by the shirt so he could pull him backward and slam the door, then held his hands at his sides stiffly, no doubt wearing an expression like a guilty kid doing something they shouldn’t be.

“Diego, I bit off that, what-” Klaus started to protest, but Allison walked around the corner and distracted him completely. 

“Oh, good morning! I was just going to send Sylvia to get you guys up,” Allison said, smiling too brightly considering the hour. 

She was still in her pajamas, which took Diego by surprise more than anything, because he didn’t expect her to be the type to leave the bedroom that way. She was in a plain, light blue tank top and shorts with clouds on them and flip flops. Her hair was in a messy bun with a few curls falling out, and no makeup. Such a contrast to the classy dress and heels he’d seen her in before, Diego wondered if she forgot she had house guests. Then again, she did own the place and it was barely 7:30 in the morning, so it wasn’t really that crazy, even for a celebrity. She certainly didn’t have to be glamorous on his account.

“Good morning, beautiful!” Klaus said, forgetting all about the peach and walking up to Allison like he was going to hug her. He didn’t, which Diego was relieved about because that would be weird. They just met her. “Thank you for pizza last night, by the way. It was incredible, and exactly what I didn’t know I needed.”

“Oh, you’re welcome, I’m glad you guys liked it! Follow me, I made breakfast already,” she said, waving them on with her. 

Klaus started to follow her but then halted and looked back at Diego, who hadn’t moved yet. He held his hand out for Diego to take, but first he had to grab that peach. He couldn’t live with himself if he just left it in there. As fast as he could, he opened the fridge and grabbed the bitten fruit, and then jogged to catch up and take Klaus’ hand.

They followed Allison around the corner and out of a door that led to a stained cedar patio with stairs leading down to an outdoor pool that sparkled in the sunrise. As soon as they walked on the patio Diego could smell bacon and eggs and butter, and he immediately noticed a wide black grill with smoke rising out of the edges of the closed lid. There was also a round, glass-top patio table with a white and yellow umbrella over it, and matching white and yellow striped cushions on four chairs around the table.

“Sit down, this should be ready,” Allison said, gesturing for them to sit at the table while she walked over to the grill and lifted the lid. Diego caught a glimpse of a griddle topper over the grill, covered in fried eggs and meat sizzling away. 

They did as they were told, and Diego could practically feel Klaus vibrating with excitement about learning the location of the pool. 

“Wow, this is so nice,” Klaus said, tearing his eyes away from the pool as they sat down at a fully set table with four plates, glasses, coffee mugs, napkins and three carafes. One was clear and full of ice water with lemon, and Diego could only assume the other two had coffee and tea or juice.

“Here, eat this,” Diego said, setting the peach on the plate in front of Klaus. He chuckled and rolled his eyes.

“You act like we were in a medieval street market and they were going to chop our hands off for stealing a piece of fruit back there,” Klaus said, then picked up the peach and took another bite.

“You never know, they might,” Diego said, but he could feel a blush on his cheeks anyway.

“I know this isn’t exactly a healthy breakfast, but I think you’ll like it,” Allison said, setting down a big plate on the only free space left on the table. 

There were four breakfast sandwiches on the outer edge of the plate; toasted bagels with grill marks piled with bacon, eggs and melted cheese. And then in the middle was a heap of hash browns sprinkled with chives. Good lord, Diego was going to be so fat, so soon, but he was definitely going to obliterate that sandwich. 

“Oh shit, those look fantastic,” Klaus said. Allison sat next to Klaus, across from Diego, and then gestured toward the plate.

“Please, help yourself while they’re hot,” she said. While they each grabbed a sandwich she poured herself a glass of orange juice. Except Diego could immediately smell the alcohol in it, even though it was the crack of dawn. She held up the carafe toward them. “Mimosa?”

“Hell yes!” Klaus said.

“ _No,_ ” Diego said sternly, frowning at Klaus, who looked immediately guilty. 

“Uh, actually, he’s right. Champagne gives me a headache,” Klaus lied, and then Diego was the one feeling guilty. He didn’t mean to like, boss Klaus around in front of other people, but his sobriety was important, damn it. Or maybe Klaus was just embarrassed for her to know that he was still recovering? Either way, Diego felt bad for embarrassing him.

“Oh, I get it. Whiskey gives me an instant headache, too,” Allison said, then picked up a sandwich for herself and cut it in half with a knife. Diego noticed there was one sandwich left, and he had to assume it was for Luther.

“Where is Luther?” he asked, because he had already decided earlier that they needed to discuss some things, and it was a convenient subject change. Allison shrugged vaguely and rolled her eyes at the same time.

“Around,” she said, waving her hand nonchalantly. “He heads in to work at 9, but he wakes up at 5am and works out and makes calls and reads his mail or whatever until then. Sometimes he will come to breakfast, but I usually don’t see him until he gets home. Unless he goes right into his office, in which case I don’t see him until bedtime.”

“Okay,” Diego said, because what the hell else was he supposed to say to that? He wasn’t asking for Luther’s life schedule, but it sounded like he avoided being home, and… being around Allison. Diego wasn’t expecting that, he assumed they were happy. How could they not be in this big ass ritzy place? Then again, nobody that’s happy starts drinking at 7:30 in the morning. He didn’t really need Klaus’ ability to read people to figure that out. 

“Diego, take a bite, it’s so fucking good,” Klaus said with his mouth full, a thread of cheese and butter on his chin.

“Is the bacon tree bark-ish enough for you?” Diego asked, smirking as Klaus licked some dripping egg yolk on his finger and nodded. 

“Just stop talking and eat. Don’t make me force feed you by hand, because I will,” Klaus said once he swallowed.

“You would not,” Diego said, but he was still too busy staring at Klaus to start eating. 

“I would too, don’t test me!” Klaus said. He was poised to take another bite, but looked up at Diego’s eyes on him. “Why are you still looking at me?”

“I like looking at you,” Diego said, finally picking up his sandwich once he made Klaus blush and shake his head. 

Allison was staring back and forth between them, smiling and resting her chin on her palm. Diego wished she wouldn’t, he could hardly force himself to eat in front of her as it was, let alone having her stare right at him. He took a bite anyway, and he couldn’t deny that it was a pretty awesome breakfast. 

“This is good, thank you,” he said, using all his willpower to push out the compliment. It was true, but he just felt so fucking awkward about the whole thing. “Is there coffee in one of these?”

“Yep, that one,” Allison said, pointing to the carafe closest to Diego. 

By the time Diego poured himself a cup of coffee and had a few sips, Klaus had inhaled his whole sandwich. He and Allison had started discussing the difference between regular and cage-free chicken eggs, and Diego tuned out while he picked at the small pile of hashbrowns on his plate. One keyword caught his ear - Allison said something about her _birthday,_ and Diego almost slapped his own forehead. He’d almost forgotten that Klaus’ birthday was in two days! 

“Do you mind if I smoke up here?” Klaus asked, leaning back and patting his full stomach. The way he leaned made the pool catch his eye and he changed his mind before Allison could answer. “Wait, do you mind if I go dip my feet in that pool and smoke down there instead? I haven’t been in a pool in like, _years._ ”

“Oh, sure! I would join you but it’s freezing this early in the morning, even with the heater,” she said, and Klaus’ face lit up.

“Amazing. I don’t care how cold it is,” Klaus said, standing up and digging in his jeans shorts pocket for his smokes and a lighter. “Be back in a minute.”

As soon as Klaus zoomed off down the patio stairs, Diego’s anxiety kicked in again. He didn’t want to sit here alone with Allison, he needed Klaus to be there and act as a friendly buffer. He was so much better at small talk than Diego. But then again, he did have a favor to ask her, even if it was going to kill him to ask. 

“Hey, uh, can I ask you something?” he said cautiously. Allison stopped pouring another mimosa and set the glass down like it was going to be something serious. 

“Of course, what’s up?” she said, giving him all her attention. 

“U-uhm, well, you mentioned your birthday and it reminded me… Klaus’ birthday is the 1st, and I wanted to do something for him,” he started. Allison grinned immediately. 

“Oh my god, I love birthdays! Should we have a party? I can order a cake-” she started with excitement, but Diego interrupted her. 

“-actually, I was hoping to make it myself. It’s kind of our first reason to celebrate something together since we’ve met, and... I don’t think he’s had many people in his life that want to do nice things for him on his birthday,” Diego said, hating that saying these things was making his ears go pink. He wasn’t embarrassed of Klaus or wanting to do something nice for him, but he knew he was revealing his _feelings_ to a stranger and he wasn’t sure he would ever _not_ be embarrassed about that kind of vulnerability. This was important though, so he pressed on. “Would it be possible for me to use the kitchen sometime tomorrow?”

“Awww, yes of course!” she said, holding her hand over her heart like it was the sweetest thing she’d ever heard and making Diego blush even harder. He didn’t need to keep talking, but he felt like he needed to explain himself even though she already said yes. 

“We’ve just had such a shitty start to… to our time together, and I want him to know I appreciate him sticking it out with me through all the bullshit. He deserves to have a good day that’s not focused on the mess we’re in, you know?”

Allison nodded with a soft smile, and her eyes had tears sparkling in them. _Okay,_ that was over the top, and Diego had to look away before he burned up like a vampire at dawn. “That’s so adorable, Diego. You must really love him.” 

“I-I do,” he said, trying to sound as sincere as possible, because he _was_ , but saying it out loud to a stranger only two days after saying it out loud to Klaus for the first time _ever_ was very overwhelming. 

“Anything you need, I’ll be happy to make it happen for you both,” she said sincerely. Diego absolutely hated that they were having a _moment,_ but it was a moment whether he liked it or not. Allison was seeing him in a different light, he could read it all over her face. “You’re so much sweeter than I thought you would be.”

Diego met her eyes and he couldn’t decide how to feel. On one hand, it annoyed him that she already had the opinion that he was going to be an asshole before she even met him - but he could blame that on Luther bad-mouthing him, no doubt. But on the other hand, he realized he actually felt the same about Allison. When he’d heard that Luther had a movie star wife, Diego expected her to be like him. Dickish, snobbish, unnecessarily dismissive and cold with him - but she was none of those things. 

Just like Agnes, Allison had been nothing but hospitable and eager to get to know him and Klaus. And really, she had every right to be stand-offish and suspicious of both of them if she wanted to be. All she knew about them before they got there was that he had murdered several people and Klaus didn’t sound very trustworthy on paper either. Who wouldn’t be suspicious, maybe even scared of letting these people into their house? 

He realized he had let the silence linger too long after her sentiment, so he cleared his throat and forced himself to let out a little more sincerity. “So are you. Thank you for your help, and for being welcoming. Not everyone would be so accepting of people like us in their house.”

Allison smiled and shrugged. 

“There are people _living_ _in_ my house that I already like less than you, and I’ve only talked to you for like a half hour,” she said, picking up her glass and nodding it toward him in a little toast before taking a big drink.

“Who actually lives here besides you and Luther?” Diego asked with a frown. He didn’t think she could possibly mean her own husband, that would be insane. 

“Most of the staff. This house has 43 bedrooms, there’s a whole wing devoted just to the ones that choose to have room and board be part of their pay. Alexis also lives here, unfortunately,” Allison said with a sour expression. Holy shit, another person besides Hazel that didn’t like that woman. Maybe Klaus was on to something.

“God, don’t mention her to Klaus. He’s already convinced she’s shady,” Diego said with a smirk. 

“He’s fucking _right._ I’ve told Luther to fire her at least 20 times, but he refuses to listen. He says I’m just jealous of her for no reason, and that it would be too hard to find another secretary that knows the business as well as she does,” Allison said, then she looked like she realized she’d said too much. “Don’t tell him I said that, please. He gets mad at me when I try to point out how sneaky she is.”

Diego was going to press her for more details, but Klaus walked back up the patio stairs, completely soaked from head to foot. 

“I thought you were just dipping your feet?” Diego asked with raised eyebrows. Klaus was shivering but grinning as he twisted and rang out the water from the bottom of his pink shirt.

“I was, but then I saw a lightning bug drowning and I tried to reach it and fell in. I still saved him from a watery grave, though,” Klaus said, making Diego smile. He was such an adorable dweeb. Then Klaus reached in his shorts pocket to pull out his soggy pack of cigarettes and lighter. “Killed my smokes instead, which is a real bummer because we can’t just go out and get more.”

“Oh, I have some up in my room!” Allison said. Diego frowned at her but she didn’t notice. 

It was amazing how fast he could rebound from appreciating someone back to being extremely annoyed with them. He tried to check himself though, because it’s not like Klaus wouldn’t get them some other way. Plus, he had to accept smoking as part of who Klaus was, and not be annoyed with everyone else for enabling _his_ choices. Allison was still just trying to be helpful, and Klaus was a grown up, and it’s not like it annoyed Diego _before_ he quit himself - so he just needed to chill for all of these reasons. 

“You smoke?” Klaus asked, raising his eyebrows at Allison. She looked sheepish.

“Uh, sometimes. Nobody in my life lets me do it without getting on my case, but I have an emergency pack upstairs and I sneak a few puffs every now and then,” she said, shrugging and setting her empty glass back on the table. “Actually, did you still want to come up and go through the stuff I was getting rid of?”

“I have never wanted anything more in my life,” Klaus said with hearts in his eyes, and Diego was even more annoyed by that. 

He’d forgotten those two were supposed to do that, and he had no idea what he was going to do in the meantime. He wasn’t going to say he was _jealous,_ but… maybe a little. God, he really did need to get a grip - being annoyed at Klaus for smoking and spending time with someone else was not a good look, even to himself. If fancy hand me downs from a celebrity made him that excited, Diego should be more than happy to let him go do that for a while. Klaus _deserved_ this, especially after everything he’d already lost, so Diego was just going to shut up and let him do the thing without pouting about it, at least noticeably. He knew it was healthy for them to spend some time apart, anyway, even if it gave him some separation anxiety. In fact, that was all the more reason this was good for them. They hadn’t spent more than a couple hours apart since they’d met. 

“Okay, let me wrap up this food for Luther and then we can go upstairs. I need to get dressed for the day, anyway,” she said, leaning forward to pick up the plate with leftover potatoes and the last sandwich. 

When Allison stood and headed back toward the kitchen, Klaus started to immediately follow her like an excited puppy, but then halted as something occurred to him. He turned back to Diego, then walked over and bent to kiss his forehead. It made Diego relax and smile, and then tilt his head up so Klaus would kiss his lips next. He did, petting Diego’s cheek with his thumb as he pressed a lingering goodbye kiss to Diego’s mouth.

“If you’re not in the room when I’m done, try to meet me back here at like one so we can go for that walk, okay?” Klaus said, and Diego nodded. 

“Have fun,” he said, making Klaus smile and remember why he was excited.

Diego watched him head into the kitchen, then stared after him for a while, lost in thought as he processed his separation anxiety impulses the second he lost sight of Klaus. He should not be brimming with fear just from the prospect of spending the morning alone. He’d spent his whole life alone, even when he was surrounded by other children in school and other men in prison. This wasn’t new, and it was ridiculous that he even let himself become so attached to another person that he couldn’t just hang out without them for a while. Get a grip, idiot. 

Maybe if Diego had something fun to do like Klaus did, this wouldn’t affect him as strongly. Except all he had to look forward to was a conversation with Luther, and Diego would almost rather chew a mouthful of broken glass than go find his annoying fucking face. Ugh, he still had to, though, and he had to be _nice_ about it because he had another favor to ask, too. 

He was just about to force himself to finish his cold cup of coffee and stand up when Sylvia came through the kitchen door with her tea cart, on her way to clean up all the dirty dishes that Allison left on the table. Imagine being rich enough to experience just the fun slices of life and leaving the dishes, the laundry and the rest of the daily drudgery for someone else to deal with. Diego could only imagine it because it was happening right in front of his eyes, and even then it was still hard to believe people really lived that way.

“Good morning, sir,” Sylvia said, giving him a polite smile as she started stacking dishes on her cart.

“Morning,” he said with as much pleasantry as he could muster, then drained his coffee and set the dirty cup on her cart. That felt even more unpleasant than watching her do it herself, even though this was her job and she wanted to be here. He had to let it go, because it’s not like he was going to change the way things were done around here, anyway. “Hey, have you seen Luther this morning?”

“Oh, I think he’s in his office, or he was a half hour ago, anyway. He should be home another hour or so before work, you can probably still catch him,” Sylvia said as she rounded up bagel crumbs on the table and swept them over the edge into her other hand. 

“Okay, thank you,” Diego said as he stood to leave.

He only made it as far as the dining room before he ran into someone else - as soon as he walked through the door, Luther walked in the other door across the room that led out to the hallway. They made eye contact immediately, both freezing in their tracks for a few beats. Diego felt like he just walked into a video game scene with the boss battle; doors sealing shut, lights getting dimmer, dramatic music. Except none of those things were _really_ happening, it was just the mood Diego was put in upon seeing Luther. He tried to keep his face from folding into a frown, he still had a favor to ask. 

“Uh, hey, I was just coming to find you,” Luther said, and Diego noticed he was holding a white envelope in his hand by his side. He was also fully dressed in a navy blue suit, white dress shirt with the top few buttons left open, and shiny, black dress shoes.

“Won’t you be late for your red carpet event?” Diego said as he walked closer. It was supposed to be a joke but it didn’t come out that way. He was never very good at lighthearted teasing. Or maybe it was just tainted with the bitterness he felt for Luther in his heart, who knew.

“Funny, but I thought you might want this,” Luther said, stopping in front of Diego and holding an envelope out to him. Diego was only distracted by Luther’s diamond studded cufflinks for a moment before he realized what was in the envelope marked with ‘ _DC’._ “It’s your results from your tests yesterday. I already saw Klaus in the hall and gave him his.”

“Did you read this?” Diego asked as he snatched the envelope, then turned it over to see that it was still sealed.

“No, of course not. That’s none of my business. Dr. Shaplin had them sent over to me sealed just like that this morning,” Luther said, offended that Diego would even think that about him.

“Did Klaus read his?” Diego asked next, and Luther shook his head again. 

“No, I don’t think so, but he did tell me to tell you that you didn’t have to wait for him,” Luther said. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and then cleared his throat. “Oh, Five also told me about the tattoo removal, which is fine, and smart, I just didn’t think of it before. That envelope has an information page about what to expect for that too, but it’s going to take me a couple days to arrange an appointment.”

“Okay. Oh, thanks for warning us that the Five kid was actually a literal child, by the way,” Diego said, because he was still alarmed by that, and also because it was easier than talking about the tattoo thing with Luther.

“Would you have trusted me, or him, if I had told you he was a kid beforehand?” Luther asked.

“I guess not,” Diego said with a shrug as he folded the envelope in half and stuffed it in his sweatpants pocket. He was certainly not opening that shit in front of Luther, and probably not without Klaus, either.

“Do you trust him now that you’ve met him?” Luther asked, but didn’t wait for Diego to answer. “He’s not like a normal kid, or at least not one that I’ve ever met. He’s easily smarter than any adult I’ve ever known, except maybe my father.”

“I don’t trust anyone, first of all. He’s out of his fucking mind, not just like, ‘ _not normal_.’ He pointed a loaded gun at Klaus for trying to touch his creepy mannequin - also weird as fuck, by the way,” Diego said, but that was only partially true because all fucked up things considered, Diego _does_ trust him. At least he trusted him enough to get the task at hand done, but like, as a person? No, he didn’t trust Five. 

“Ah, yeah he does that. He responds best if you just roll with his delusions. He’s had the mannequin since I’ve known him,” Luther said, looking troubled by that. 

“Yeah, Klaus figured that out a lot faster than I did. Good thing too, or he would have been shot and then I would have had to kill a kid,” Diego said, then he remembered why he needed to talk to Luther to begin with. “Oh, uh, I actually need one more favor if you can make it happen with all your shady connections. It doesn’t cost anything, just-”

“Don’t you think I’m _already_ doing you enough favors?” Luther interrupted, immediately reminding Diego why he hated this asshole, and hated relying on anyone but himself. Luther was looking at him like a piece of shit again, even though they had managed to have a halfway civil conversation for once, until now.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I being _inconvenient?_ Imagine how inconvenient it is to sit in prison for almost a decade because your spineless, selfish brother cared more about his reputation than his own family,” Diego snapped, raising his hand to poke his finger into Luther’s chest. Luther knocked his hand away like an annoying fly and shook his head.

“You can’t keep handing me that bill, Diego. I’ve paid it several times over by now, and I’m _still_ paying it, or else your stupid ass would be right back in prison,” Luther said. Diego snorted and shook his head too. 

“See, that’s your fucking problem! You can’t treat people like bills to be paid off! Do you even care how you hurt me, Luther? How you hurt _mom_?” Diego said, raising his voice too loud to keep this from escalating. Luther rolled his eyes. 

“I’m not the one that _killed_ someone here! You can’t keep blaming me for the trouble that _you_ caused yourself,” Luther said, his voice and temper rising, too. “I know you had your reasons and I respect that, or else I wouldn’t be helping you, but god damn, Diego. Take some fucking responsibility for your own actions for once!” 

“And what were _your_ reasons?” Diego asked, trying to lower his voice and de-escalate his temper just long enough to maybe get a sincere response.

“My reasons for what? Not going to the trial? God, there were so many. I was just a kid, I -”

“You were _19,_ not a kid! You don’t get to use being young as an excuse! I certainly didn’t get to,” Diego snapped, even though he didn’t actually want to interrupt. He just couldn’t stop himself. “You could have stood up for us but you didn’t, and all you can say is that you were just a kid?”

“Okay look, there was no way to know if my testimony would have even helped! I didn’t live with you guys, and any jury would have just assumed I was only saying what I was coached to say by my mother-”

“But you didn’t even try! You didn’t even _try_ to plead my case even though you knew what my dad was doing!” Diego started to yell again, all the things he’d wanted to say for almost a decade flying out of his mouth impulsively. “You don’t think you testifying that you saw my bruises, or that you saw the holes in our walls would help even a little? Or that you hid in a closet or went outside when my dad would get angry and start yelling at me, because you knew what he was capable of - none of that would have mattered to a jury?” 

“Maybe it would have, but you don’t understand what it’s like to be me, okay-”

“Oh, _right,_ ” Diego interrupted sarcastically, snorting and rolling his eyes. “I’m sure it’s _so_ fucking hard to be born rich and have a golden-paved path to a future where you’re a billionaire and live in a palace wit-”

“You think my life is _easy?!_ You’re not the only one with a shitty father! Mine didn’t kick my ass but he was still - … he was still a heartless, domineering, manipulative man,” Luther said, staring off to the side and shaking his head again as he thought about his own dad. “It just took me a lot longer to see it than you did with your dad.”

“Agnes already told me your ‘ _my dad wouldn’t let me_ ’ sob story. Save it. It still doesn’t excuse why you didn’t stand up and do the right thing when you had the chance-”

“Not all abuse is physical, Diego! Do you know what my dad would have done to me if I went against his word and put his reputation at risk by defending you? He put my entire future on the line, my college enrollment and inheritance and my home. I would have had nothing-” Luther tried to reason, but Diego wasn’t hearing it. 

“And now instead I have nothing, not even my mom. I didn’t even get to say goodbye to her, Luther. The only person that’s ever l-loved me, and you _took_ that from me just to keep your stupid bougie lifestyle,” Diego said. Luther closed his eyes and sighed heavily. 

“I didn’t take Grace from you-”

“‘ _Grace?’_ She’s your _mother,_ you fucking asshole-”

“ _Mom,_ then! The point is you don’t get to blame me for her dying! I didn’t give her stomach cancer, Diego. I didn’t get you sent to prison either, that was because of your own decision,” Luther said, missing the point, as usual. 

“I didn’t say you _made_ her sick, I said you robbed me of the chance to be with her when she needed me most,” Diego said, but he could feel his brain trying to snap into fight-mode. He wanted to hit this bastard so fucking bad, but a tiny piece of his rational mind was keeping his fists clenched at his sides instead of hurting Luther like he wanted to. Even with Diego standing right in front of him, Luther still couldn’t see the pain he had caused him. All he could do was make shitty excuses for his behavior rather than just saying he was sorry, than just saying he had been wrong. “And then you didn’t even take care of her for me afterward! You could have sold one of those stupid cufflinks or one of your ten cars and easily saved her house so she didn’t have to lose her home on top of everything else, but you couldn’t even do that!”

“SHE WOULDN’T LET ME!” Luther roared, actually startling Diego because he didn’t know he had it in him. Luther cleared his throat and covered his face for a second, trying to calm himself before continuing. “I _tried_ to help her financially. I swear to God, Diego. I tried to give her money, I tried to get her a new place afterward, tried to help her with finding a job. She didn’t want my help. She was determined she was going to be okay, even when she went to live with her sister. But when she got sick, aunt Laura called me and asked me for help, but told me I couldn’t ever tell mom I was helping. I paid their house off, I paid for mom’s medical bills, I paid for her funeral-”

“Did you go?” Diego asked, fixing Luther with narrowed, hateful eyes and thinking about the funeral program upstairs tucked in his book. His heart rate picked up considerably in anticipation and he could hear the pressure pounding in his ears. He already knew what Luther’s answer was going to be, and all the bitter, violent hate that had been festering inside Diego’s heart for almost a decade thundered through his bloodstream.

“What?” 

“I said _did you go_ to her funeral? Or did you send Agnes in your place because you couldn’t be bothered?” Diego asked icily, despite the hot anger burning him up inside. His fist was shaking at his side from the restraint it was taking to not just-

“No,” Luther said, looking down at his feet and shaking his head. “I didn’t go.”

That flipped the switch of blind rage and Diego’s fist connected with Luther’s cheekbone, enough force to knock a normal man to his knees. It split the skin under Luther’s eye with the impact of sharp, skilled knuckles, but he remained solid, squinting against the pain. Diego didn’t stop, throwing another swing that Luther held up an arm and blocked. He stepped back to avoid more hits, but Diego was still advancing right up on him, then grabbed him by the suit coat and swung again. 

“ _HOW FUCKING DARE YOU-_ ” Diego roared as his fist struck Luther’s forearm that he was holding up to block Diego’s hits. So he swung low, punching Luther’s ribs with his right hand, hard enough to make pain blast all the way up his injured arm. Luther was built like he had nothing but steel under his skin, almost entirely unfazed by the hard blows. 

“Diego, _stop!_ ” Luther commanded, but Diego wasn’t listening. The pain in his right arm didn’t stop him from balling up his fist and striking again either. He swung again, and again, but Luther only fought back defensively. He wasn’t trying to hit back, which pissed Diego off more. 

“ _Fight me, you prick!_ ” Diego growled, lifting his leg to kick Luther right in the pelvis as hard as he could. That finally knocked him back hard, making him stagger backward into the dining table. There was a horrible screech as the legs of the table scraped across the hard floor and echoed through the dining hall, two chairs also falling to the ground noisily.

Luther’s elbow was leaned on the table while he tried to get his bearings but Diego was relentless, lunging at him with more punishing strikes around his skull and shoulders. His knuckles were on fire and starting to split from pummeling hard muscle and bone, pain radiating up his wounded arm, but he carried on as if he couldn’t feel them. Luther started to sink down on one knee, all but waving a white flag, but Diego grabbed him by the suit jacket with his left hand and yanked him closer. When he struck Luther in the mouth with his right hook, he noticed Luther’s eyes glance up at him with _fear_ before the blow - his blue eyes that looked _exactly_ like their mother’s. 

God, what would Grace think if she saw Diego beating the shit out of her baby? If she saw him wailing on Luther until he cowered in fear the same way Diego’s dad did to her? She hadn’t even let them hit each other as young boys just rough housing, it was the only thing she put her foot down about. ‘ _He’s your brother, Diego. You don’t have to like him but you don’t get to hurt him._ ’ - Grace told Diego that when he was only nine years old. And here he was, busting up Luther’s face, being the violent monster he hated his father for. His deepest fear. 

On top of that horrible notion, he realized he was putting Klaus’ safety at risk, too. What if he just pissed Luther off enough to kick them out? What if he stopped helping, or worse, what if he called the police? All he would have to say is that Diego broke in and beat him down - he would even have the wounds to prove it. Maybe that’s why Luther wasn’t fighting back? There was no way a man that tough would just keep his hands to himself unless he was planning on using this against Diego somehow. Fuck.

He let go of Luther’s suit jacket and let him drop the rest of the way to his knees, then turned the other direction to face the wall and hold his own face with bloody hands. His breathing was ragged, there were tears trying to spill over his eyes, and he was shaking with adrenaline, fear and pain. He heard Luther gasping and catching his breath, still kneeling on the floor as Diego pressed his fingertips into his eyeballs so hard he saw stars. He could not let Luther see him cry, absolutely fucking not. _Show no weakness._

“I’m sorry, Diego,” Luther said gruffly, then spit a mouthful of blood on his own floor. Diego wheeled around, still heated and angry and heartbroken.

“ _N-no,_ it’s too late for that! _How_ could you not go? Why would you d-do that? I would have given _anything_ to b-be-” Diego felt himself stumbling over his words and choking up. He looked away and shook his head while he tried to shove it back. Then he took a weak breath and decided he didn’t actually fucking care if Luther saw how hurt he was. Maybe that’s what it would take for him to realize the colossal mistake he’d made, so Diego looked back at him and let the tears glisten in his eyes. “I would have given anything to be there, Luther. I would have _done anything._ ”

“I know. And I know you don’t want to hear my excuses, but I had just lost my father, too. They died within six months of each other, and I had a whole company I didn’t know how to run dropped in my lap, thousands of employees I was responsible for now,” Luther said from where he was still kneeling by the fallen chairs. It was taking so much self restraint for Diego to not yell again, but he tried to listen instead of react. All he ever did was yell and hit things and refuse to listen. He didn’t want to be that way anymore, though, so he let Luther keep speaking to the best of his ability. “I regret not going, Diego. And I regret not being more present in her life, especially after she didn’t have you, but… life got _so_ fucking hard when my dad got sick too. I’m sorry I picked him, I’m sorry I let her fall by the wayside while I dealt with his Alzhiemers but… my dad didn’t even remember my name by the end. He was a dick, but he didn’t deserve to die that way.” 

“Yeah, I get it, but he still had you. Mom died without the two people that should love her the m-mo-most by her side. It’s not _fair_. All she did was give and give, and take care of people and put us first, and -”

“- _you._ She put _you_ first, Diego, not us. I think that’s a fundamental flaw in your perspective of the way things really were - she loved you. She didn’t love me the same way. You were always the little boy that my mom loved more than me, the one she had inside jokes with and tucked in every night and packed you nice lunches with handwritten notes in them for school. She chose you, and I… I chose Agnes,” Luther said. When Diego gasped Luther flinched like he expected more hits to come, and Diego would be lying if he said he didn’t want to do exactly that. 

“You chose Agnes,” he repeated coldly, nodding sarcastically and staring up at the high hall ceiling while he tried to keep his temper in check. He wanted to scream about all the times Grace would cry when Luther left, because of the way he rejected her love and acted like they were both a chore to endure rather than his family. 

“Yes, because she loved me and cared for me. I know you’re going to hate me for this, but… Grace was _your_ mom, Diego… not mine,” Luther said, shrugging and giving Diego a stupid sad face that he wanted to punch more than ever. 

“Then you’re not my brother,” Diego said softly, betraying the true raging fire inside that that statement triggered. He watched Luther’s bloody mouth fall open. He hadn’t been expecting that response, but his face quickly relaxed into acceptance and he nodded. 

“If that’s how you feel, then I get it, but I still think of you as mine whether you like it or not,” Luther said, and it poured a little bit of chilly water over the fire in Diego’s heart. Fuck, how did he still have a stupid sentimental attatchemnt to their thin thread of fraternity, even after everything Luther has said and done?

He didn’t know how to respond to that yet, so instead he just watched Luther wipe his cheek wound with the sleeve of his Armani suit that probably cost a few grand, then gently dab the fabric over his split lip with a hiss. Diego felt another pang of guilt and shame for hurting him so badly as he stared for a minute, but how the hell was he supposed to not be angry? How was he supposed to just act like Luther’s actions hadn’t been a slap in the face to Grace’s memory, and her whole life before her passing? So what if he had his own problems going on? It was still his mother, and she deserved _so much_ better. From everyone in her life, not just Luther. Be that as it may, it still didn’t make Diego feel any better to beat the shit out of him the way he dreamed it would all those years he’d fantasized about it in prison. If anything, it just made him hate himself more for still being this violent asshole of a man that he didn’t want to be. 

“Why didn’t you hit me back?” Diego asked, watching Luther rest his palm against his knee so he could force himself up onto his feet. 

He stepped back as Luther stood tall before him again, his considerable height making Diego feel dwarfed and intimidated even though he was a totally respectable 6’ tall man himself. What if Luther had retaliated? Diego could tell just by the way Luther’s body felt under his fists that he might not win the fight if Luther really fought back. 

“Because you’re predictable - I’m sorry but you are, and I have been expecting that beat down the last eight years, anyway. I’m honestly surprised it took you this long. Partly because if you did the same thing to me I would want to punch you, too. But also because… I just don’t want to fight you, man,” Luther said with the tone of a tired man that was already carrying too much emotional weight as it was. “I just want to make things right, but I know I can’t change the past, so all I have are money and resources to offer you, and a face to hit. But that was a one time deal, next time I _will_ break your nose if you even think of coming at me again.”

Diego scratched at his chin hairs and nodded, his fury dialing back to the regular, manageable amount of hate he normally felt around Luther. “Yeah, that seems fair enough.” 

“What was the favor?” Luther asked, making Diego narrow his eyes suspiciously as if this were a trick.

“Why do you care now? Going to throw it in my face again after I tell you?” he asked, folding his arms. His right arm was still throbbing in the worst way, but he was doing his best to ignore it. It would be just his luck if he fucked up his injury even further. 

“Just tell me, Diego, Christ,” Luther said, rolling his eyes and then wincing about disturbing his sore face muscles. Diego eyed him suspiciously for a few more moments then sighed heavily.

“That night ChaCha attacked us, in Montana, Klaus left something behind in the motel room that was extremely important to him,” Diego started explaining, but as the words left his mouth he realized how much harder of a job this was going to be than he originally anticipated when he asked earlier. It made him nervous to ask, so his thoughts began to jumble and he started rambling a little. “Like, I totally understand if you can’t - but it would mean a lot to him if - like I said, if you can’t no big deal but-”

“Dude,” Luther said, snapping Diego’s brain back in order. 

“Klaus had a fiance a long time before we met, but he died overseas, serving in the military. All he had left of him, and his foster brother he was close with, was a chain that had the fiance’s dog tags and a locket with a picture of the brother inside on it,” he explained, hating that it was making him feel emotional talking about some dumb chain that didn’t even mean anything to him. But it meant something to Klaus, and that was enough. “I just know he’s heartbroken about losing it, but I understand if it’s impossible to get a hold of - you would probably have to know someone on the police for-”

“I do-,” Luther interrupted before Diego even finished his sentence. “But I don’t know if I could have them look for it anytime soon. It’s an ongoing investigation, a piece of evidence going missing would cause too much of a stir at the moment, and that’s assuming the FBI didn’t collect that for their own investigation.”

“Alright, like I said, I get it if you can’t do it, but... “ Diego started to say, but his train of thought led him to think about everything Klaus had lost because of him again. He shook his head and swallowed thickly. “Just, don’t worry about it right now. I don’t want your source to get fucked over for stealing evidence. It was a dumb idea.”

“No it wasn’t, it’s a really nice thing to do. I will look into it, but I just can’t make any promises,” Luther said. “I’m friends with the Sargent there, but he’s kind of a doofus and too much of a lability to let in on that kind of a scheme. It also makes me look guilty as fuck to be asking for sentimental evidence from a huge murder case, so I would have to figure out how to trick him into it. I might even be able to send Allison to hoodwink him into it. He’s a big fan.”

“God, no, please don’t involve her. I’m sure she would do it, she’s very kind, but I would feel terrible if she got caught somehow,” Diego said, shaking his head.

“She’s more clever than you think, she could sweet talk her way right into the President’s bedroom if she wanted,” Luther said, a note of pride about how slick his wife was. “The Secret Service wouldn’t even see her coming.”

“Still, nothing is worth another person going to jail for my mistakes,” Diego said, and Luther nodded solemnly.

“Yeah, I feel that,” Luther said cryptically, then cleared his throat. “Anyway, I will look into it. If I think it’s too risky, I won’t bother, but if I can, I’ll let you know.”

“T-thank you,” Diego said, almost choking on the words because he hated saying them to Luther. 

“You’ve got a mean swing, damn near knocked my teeth down my throat,” Luther said, then wiped a little more blood trickling from his lip on his sleeve.

“I still might,” Diego said, hoping his sarcasm would come across rather than it sounding like a threat. Maybe it kind of was, though. Luther looked at him with a raised eyebrow but let it slide. 

“I have a gym on the 2nd floor, west wing. There’s a punching bag in there, if you need to let off some steam,” Luther said, and before Diego could respond, he switched tracks. “Alright, I have to go change before I head into work. Allison has my pager number if you absolutely need to get a hold of me for whatever reason.”

As soon as Luther’s form disappeared from the dining hall Diego felt an uncomfortable drop in his stomach. He was alone again, and despite the neutral note he and Luther left on, his emotions were still a confusing bramble of anger, hurt, fear and shame. Also a little bit of irritation because Luther just left the chairs and table all fucked up, along with the bloody spit on the floor, presumably for the housekeepers to clean up. 

Diego spent a few minutes cleaning everything up except the blood, feeling immensely guilty for creating grief for a nice person like Sylvia, or someone like her. Surely in a house this size there had to be more than one… servant? Were they servants? Housekeepers? Maids? What the fuck did rich people call them that didn’t sound terrible? In any case, Diego didn’t want to make their job harder because he was a raging dick. 

Once everything was back in order Diego decided to check out the gym. He had no intention of using it today - that fight had already been too damaging for his injured arm, anyway, but he still wanted to make note of where it was and what kind of equipment was in there. He let his feet carry him out of the dining hall and up the stairs mostly on autopilot, his brain already preoccupied overthinking his interaction with Luther.

How did he think what he did was acceptable? Who did Diego think he was that he could just beat down the man helping to keep him out of prison? Did Luther still deserve it - hell yeah, he did, but that still didn’t mean it was the _smart_ thing to do. Especially with Klaus’ safety on the line, too. How was Diego ever going to be a normal fucking person when he let his emotions get the better of him so easily? Just like the Five kid said, his anger was a liability - he was going to ruin _everything_ if he couldn’t keep a level head in situations that made him hurt or angry. How did that phrase go, something about ‘ _you can take the kid out of the fight but you can’t take the fight out of the kid?_ ’ Diego hated that he felt that way; that no matter how hard he tried, this need to hurt the people that wronged him couldn’t be tamed or scrubbed away. 

And what did he gain from this? Justice for Grace? No. Justice for himself? Also no. Luther was blessedly understanding for a guy that got pummeled to the ground, but he didn’t have to be, and it didn’t win Diego anything. Not even pride. If anything he was more ashamed than he was before, more aware than ever that he had a problem. God, he had so many fucking problems. Maybe Five was right about him needing some kind of emotional counseling, but it really irritated him to take advice from a totally wack teenager that smelled like vodka and carried a handgun in his breast pocket. 

Diego only realized where he was walking when he made it to the top of the stairs on the second floor and had to turn left for the west wing rather than turning right toward their bedroom. Except while he was searching for the gym, he stumbled upon… an enormous library with open double doors. Nobody told him he could go in there, but the doors were wide open, and honestly, who didn’t want people to peruse their books in a library? He was curious, so he stepped inside, immediately forgetting about the gym. 

This room was two stories high, just like the dining hall, except the second floor was divided into two sides with the entire middle open and looking down on the main floor. There were spiral staircases off to either side of the main entrance that led to the second story, and both floors were stacked carpet to ceiling with bookshelves. The back wall was made entirely of tall glass windows that were also two stories tall, and it made this one of the brightest rooms in the house. This library was bigger than any Diego had ever seen, like even the local one near his old house in the Philly suburbs, and he was honestly feeling… a little giddy about it. Klaus was right, this house felt exactly like the castle in Beauty and the Beast, and he was suddenly Belle.

 _You are such a fucking nerd, Jesus Christ._ Once he admitted that to himself, he walked to the nearest shelf and ran his fingers along the bindings of books and authors he’d never heard about before. He was going to be here a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Okay so this "day" will be split into 2 chapters, and the next one will split off from when Klaus leaves with Allison ;)
> 
> \- New chapter next Friday! I'll be leaving it under your Christmas tree like a sexy Santa Claus. (or under your pillow like the tooth fairy, if you don't celebrate the other lol)


	23. The Fool: Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** BIG warning: past CSA mention, more like a very brief summary without going into any details  
> ** there are actually several bold/potentially upsetting character decisions in this chapter, but I imagine at this point you're probably numb to dark content with this story, yes? I hope it doesn't chase you off!  
> ** at least it's a long chapter!! (almost 18k :D)

_**September 29th, 2015, 8:50am**_

As Klaus followed Allison up to her bedroom he was vibrating with so much excitement he could barely force himself up the steps on wobbly legs, and slippery flip flops still wet from the pool. How was this real life? How was he following a movie star up the stairs of her billionaire mansion to her private bedroom? And she was going to _give_ him things?! Even Luther handing him his test results in the hallway couldn’t rain on his parade at the moment, this was a dream come true.

On top of that, Allison was like, really down to Earth, or at least she seemed to be so far. She walked through her entire house full of staff and guests in cloud shorts and no bra, that helped shatter the illusion that she was an always-perfect celebrity that looked like a magazine cover at all times. She was just a normal woman who made breakfast for her felon house guests and sneaked cigarettes on the balcony and generously offered her stuff. Klaus was feeling a little obsessed and starstruck. 

“What do you even do with a house this size?” Klaus asked as he followed her down the hall past a bunch of doors, some of them closed and some of them ajar with shadowy furniture shapes inside.

“Not much, to be honest. We use about five or six rooms and the rest just sits and collects dust,” Allison said, running her finger along a decorative table under a window in the hallway as if to check for said dust. “This house has 42 bedrooms with only Luther and I, and about seven staff members, so most of them are just full of dated decorations and weird old junk that belonged to Luther’s dad.”

“42 bedrooms, holy shit. You could open a school in here, or like, a homeless shelter,” Klaus said, his brain simply not computing that anyone could own a house with that many bedrooms and _not_ use them to help people. Then again, he hadn’t helped anyone but himself in his life, he didn’t get to judge.

“Luther’s dad actually did host science conferences here, and a high school robotics competition once, to which he offered a $2,000 scholarship as the prize,” she said, but Klaus had stopped listening. Allison had just led them into her bedroom and Klaus was speechless. 

The color theme was ivory, gold and rose gold, which gave off a bright, soft, heavenly vibe, but the thing that caught Klaus’ attention most was the size of the room. More like _rooms,_ because off of the main bedroom to the left was an arched doorway to another room that had a long white island counter full of drawers in the middle and several other doors leading off from that room. Just from what he could see from the doorway, this room was easily bigger than any apartment he’d ever stayed in, and that didn’t even include what was beyond the other doors. No doubt they were walk-in closets and a bathroom that probably looked like it belonged to a fairy-tale King. This bedroom definitely did, and Klaus felt dirty just existing in a place so elegant and expensive; dripping pool water on the floor with grass still stuck to his feet. God, he didn’t belong here. 

The carpets were pearl white - another thing Klaus couldn’t wrap his head around. Who could keep white carpeting clean? The giant bed had a pretty, drapey canopy made of ivory tulle with gold metallic thread, and an ivory and rose gold duvet cover bedspread that had little gold buttons and matching pillow shams and a plethora of throw pillows with gold tassels. Literally a bed for royalty, or angels, like Klaus could imagine a Victoria’s Secret lingerie ad with the girls in angel wings having a pillow fight on this bed. The curtains on the tall windows and balcony doors were also sheer ivory with delicate gold tassel ropes to tie them back, and a rose gold velvet chair that looked plush and shiny with softness off in the far corner by the window. There was a gold and crystal chandelier hanging from the ceiling, much smaller than the one in the foyer but still just as sparkly and pretty. Everything just looked like a million bucks and Klaus felt unworthy, like a peasant standing before a queen in her castle. 

“Wow,” was all he could manage to say out loud, and he was afraid of moving from the entryway because of the dripping water. “Hey, do you happen to have a towel or something?”

“Oh, yeah, of course,” Allison said, disappearing through the room beyond the arch, and then through one of the side doors that Klaus assumed was the bathroom. When she returned she handed Klaus a white towel with a gold, fancy ‘H.” embroidered on it. Jesus, even the towel looked too expensive to use. “I know you’re going to try other stuff on, but let me get you something dry to wear while you look.” 

“Okay, yeah, that would be great,” Klaus said, forcing himself to use the decorative towel to dry his hair, arms, chest and legs. Watching the dirt and grass on his feet and ankles stain the white towel was giving him anxiety, even though Allison obviously knew the fate of the towel when she handed it to him. 

Allison went back into the room across from the bed and returned a few moments later just as Klaus finished drying off, and she handed him a stack of clothes. Super soft, heather grey sweatpants with a white drawstring, and a snow white hoodie with a black Saint Laurent logo on the chest. Holy shit, Klaus barely recognized the designer name, but he knew it was something pricey. And then the pants were Dior, and had a… a _$500.00 price tag_ still hanging from the waistline. He didn’t even know Dior made fucking _sweatpants_ , and also who in their right mind would pay that much for sweats? Were they spun with solid gold spider’s silk? Perhaps woven with unicorn hair? But then again, why was he surprised? _Of course_ Allison would have designer sweatpants. There was also a folded pair of mint green cotton underwear, which he wasn’t expecting. They were boy-short cut, so it looked like they would hold all his bits well enough, anyway.

“I don’t know if it’s weird to give you underwear, but I figured yours were wet, too,” Allison said as she watched Klaus inspect them. “I’ve never worn them. I just figured it would be easier to try stuff on. You don’t have to wear them, you can just freeball in my sweats if that’s-”

“They will work great, thank you,” he said with a smile, saving her the breath. 

“Okay, cool. Did you still want this?” she asked, holding out her hand with two long, skinny cigarettes on her palm. 

“Yes, but in a little while, I don’t want to make your nice clothes smell like smoke if I’m trying them on,” Klaus said, then walked over to a dresser with an oval mirror over it next to the arch. He set his padded envelope from Luther and the pile of clothes Allison gave him on the dresser so that he could start to strip. He hadn’t let himself even think about the test results let alone open them, he was pretending it was something else 

“I’m definitely not worried,” she said, closing her hand around the cigarettes and waving off his concern with the other. “I’m going to step out there and have a few puffs while you’re getting changed.”

“Wait, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to do with my wet clothes. Is it cool if I like-” 

“Just set your wet stuff in a pile outside the door, someone will come by and collect it,” Allison said, chuckling to herself about how anxious Klaus was to just be existing in her bedroom. Klaus nodded and started to strip off his wet t-shirt. As Allison headed for the balcony door she paused with her hand on the brass knob and looked back. “And if you see Sylvia wandering by out there, tell her to bring us some drinks.”

As soon as Klaus stepped into the sweatpants he groaned about how fucking incredibly soft they were inside, the hoodie too. As soft as baby bunny fur, and suddenly Klaus understood why someone would pay $500 for these pants. He felt so cozy and comfy wearing both things that he wanted to just crawl up on Allison’s bed and curl up like a cat for a nap. He looked at himself in the vanity mirror, cringing at the way the pool water ran his eyeliner enough to make him look like a raccoon, but adoring how nice his butt looked in these pants that fit him like a dream. He popped the tag off the waistband, since he could only assume that would be alright, and stuffed it in the pocket just so he could show Diego the price tag later. Klaus was relatively certain these two items of clothing cost more than all the clothes he’d owned in the last four years combined, and he was again struck with a ‘ _is this real life?_ ’ sentiment.

He did what Allison told him and set his clothes in a wet heap outside the door, but there was no sign of Sylvia or anyone else, for that matter. The long hallways of this house were lit with soft yellow light, but still gave off a spooky, cryptic feel anyway. It made Klaus’ stomach swoop to stare down the length of one and have the other end be just barely too far away to see, like the shadowy, blurry void at the end of the hallway had spirits lingering just out of eyesight. This house had secrets, and he knew that he was just nosy enough to look for them if he and Diego were there long enough. 

Klaus nearly jumped out of his skin when Allison shut the balcony door with a slam, then an apology.

“Shit, sorry. The wind took it out of my hand,” she said as he looked back at her with big eyes. She waved him to follow her through to the other room beyond the arch. “Okay, come on, I’ll show you my donation closet. Sadly I think my shoes will be too small, but you’re welcome to whatever fits.”

Klaus hurried after her, more eager than ever to see exactly what a celebrity considered to be worthy of a ‘donation closet’ when just the outfit she handed him cost over a cold hard G. He was dazzled again when he passed under the arch, because this room was just as elegantly decorated as her bedroom despite it just being like, the foyer of her four-door closet. 

There was an elaborate flower arrangement on the long island counter in the middle of the room, which smelled amazing. The counter itself was glossy black and glittered with flecks of white-diamond colored sparkles in it. There was a full silver tea set, several silver-rimmed wine glasses, a little ice bucket with a bottle of wine chilling in it, and a small fruit arrangement all fanned out across the counter. The carpet was white in here too, except the color scheme was diamond-silver, black and white, instead of ivory and gold like the bedroom.

Over by the bathroom door that Allison had gone through earlier there was a makeup vanity against the far wall, lights all around the mirror like a proper movie star, red kiss lipstick prints on the reflection, too - and _tons_ of makeup. Klaus could count at least 20 colorful eyeshadow pallets stacked up on the black vanity counter just from where he could see, and black cups full of white-bristle makeup brushes with silver glitter handles, and several hair brushes with matching handles, too. God, it was all so pretty, he wanted to sit and play with all that stuff so, so much. 

The wall art was like, city skyline silhouettes and abstract paintings that had to be priceless, and there were several white, cushy chairs next to some of the doors. Klaus couldn’t see any windows, the only lights were hanging from the ceiling - about a dozen long, black poles with single white-light bulbs on the ends, all of various lengths for an artsy flare. God, everything was just dripping with luxury and class, and he hadn’t even seen anything inside the closets yet. As he walked closer to the island counter in the middle he noticed there were a bunch of little drawers around the bottom under the black top, like a display counter at a store. While Allison was busy opening one of the closet doors and turning on the light, Klaus slid one of the drawers open quickly and almost fainted. The inside of the drawer was lined with royal blue satin with a dozen silver, white gold and diamond bracelets laid out in rows, and each one of those probably cost more than a kidney on the black market. They sparkled so much that he couldn’t take his magpie eyes off of them fast enough, and Allison caught him gawking. 

“You can try them on, if you want,” she said, coming out from the closet. Her voice startled Klaus again, and sobered him somewhat. She walked over to him and picked out one of the sparkliest diamond bracelets and held it up, gesturing for Klaus to lift his wrist. He did, but as he watched her fasten it, he started to frown.

“Why are you doing this?” Klaus asked, making Allison look up from his wrist at his face. She seemed startled by the question, not answering right away, like maybe she wasn’t sure, or maybe she was embarrassed? Klaus was still too overwhelmed by the environment and shock of any of this happening for real, so he hadn’t been able to let himself tune into the energy she was giving off and figure it out himself.

“I… I don’t usually have visitors, and I just - _wait,_ you don’t think I’m trying to show off or anything, do you?” Allison asked, holding her hand over Klaus’ wrist after she finished fastening the bracelet. 

“I’m not sure what this is, but you don’t know me and you’re offering me free stuff and putting a Tiffany bracelet on my wrist so… it’s a lot. Not that I don’t appreciate it, but I’m not sure why you would be doing this for some strange criminal your husband dragged in off the street,” Klaus said, really searching Allison’s eyes for the truth now. 

She seemed _scared,_ but he couldn’t put his finger on why, exactly. He could feel a dark, relatable cloud of sadness around her, too, but she hid it well with the skills of a professional actress. The longer it took her to answer, the more he dialed in and realized the refined emotion was actually _loneliness_. Oh, she just wanted a friend. Klaus could work with that, he was good at being friends with girls, especially ones that wanted to give him stuff. Allison let his wrist fall so she could fold her arms over herself self-consciously. 

“I... just don’t have a lot of friends these days, I guess, at least not ones I feel like talking to,” she said, then tucked one of her loose ringlets behind her ear and sighed. “Actually, I don’t really see much of anyone anymore, except the staff. I’m sorry, maybe I’ve forgotten how to make friends with someone normal?” 

Klaus laughed. “If you were looking for normal, you picked the wrong person to make friends with, but you’re doing fine, sweetheart.”

“Okay,” Allison said with a small, shy smile, and Klaus thought it might be the first _genuine_ smile from her that he’d seen. “I just saw you show up with Diego and I got excited because… I’m sorry to stereotype, but I thought we might get along because you’re like… well, you seem to be a little more like me than Diego and Luther are, you know?”

“You mean _girly_?” Klaus asked, smirking because she really was a little rusty on social skills for someone that was once a powerful socialite in Hollywood.

“Yes- _ugh, god,_ I’m sorry. That’s rude, I didn’t mean-”

“Allison, it’s fine. You’re not exactly wrong; I really do enjoy this kind of thing more than Diego ever would. But hey... you don’t have to give me stuff for me to want to be your friend, you know that, right?” Klaus asked, because he was fairly certain she _didn’t_ know that. Maybe gifts and flattery were just the only way she’d ever made friends before in the sort of circles she ran in, and that would make sense to Klaus.

“Oh, sure, I just saw that you didn’t come with a lot and I was planning on getting rid of a ton of things anyway, so I was just trying to help,” she said, but Klaus could still tell she also thought she had to buy his friendship. Luckily he was just the kind of person that could be bought, so he wasn’t going to press the issue and make her change her mind. 

“Well that’s very sweet of you, and I’m excited to see what you’re giving away,” Klaus said, giving her a warm smile. She gestured toward the closet door she opened.

“Help yourself, I’ll just be out here getting ready for the day, myself,” she said, then slid the jewelry drawer closed so she could lean closer to the counter. Klaus watched her grab the Chardonnay bottle from the ice bucket and start to uncork it, which was concerning, but it certainly was beyond Klaus to shame people for their vices. The draw of free clothes was overwhelming though, so he left Allison to her own business and practically skipped with glee over to the closet. 

“Wow,” he said under his breath, staring in awe at the racks of colorful clothes hanging in the rectangle closet that was as big as an apartment bedroom. 

There were two tiers of racks on one side for the shirts and jackets, and then on the other side was one rack that was high enough for floor length dresses, pants and skirts. In the middle of the floor between the two racks was a white cushioned bench seat, like the kind you find at shoe stores, including the mirror on the sides to look at your own feet. The back wall had several shelves full of unboxed shoes set up neatly in pairs, and then there were more shoes in boxes stacked under the shelves, and a couple unmarked, black plastic totes. There was no doubt that Klaus couldn’t fit into Allison’s shoes, but he was still going to stare at them anyway. 

But before that, the first thing that caught Klaus’ eye was a super fluffy, powder-pink Chanel dress that stuck out from the others. Klaus walked over to it and touched the big fluffy part at the bottom and noticed it was made of extremely fine, thin, soft feathers - so pretty and dramatic. He knew it was completely impractical and he would never be able to wear it literally anywhere but inside this closet, especially not out with Diego, but he wanted to try it on, anyway. Fuck it, when was he going to get this kind of opportunity again? Time to go a little crazy.

Klaus was in heaven as he browsed through all the incredible clothes, picking up almost everything he thought would fit him and laying them across the white bench in the middle of the room. He tried not to let himself look at any of the price tags or designers and just pick the stuff he genuinely liked, but that was like, everything. He still couldn’t help but notice how much some of the stuff cost. Just a pair of pre-distressed cutoff shorts had a $1,000 tag and he was stunned and almost _offended_ by the price of a pair of fucking _shorts_. Shorts with _holes_ in them, no less. Also, why was Allison getting rid of so many things she hadn’t even worn yet? Not everything had tags, but everything still looked brand new, or only worn once or twice. Then again, that probably wasn’t unusual for celebrities, especially when a lot of times they get this shit for free from the designers just because they are famous. Meanwhile he wore the same clothes until they were ragged, because life was just unfair that way. Nevertheless, he refused to let that dampen his spirits as he tossed the stupidly expensive shorts on the pile.

It took him about 20 minutes to get almost all the way through both racks, and he stopped when he got to the rest of the dresses as a thought occurred to him. What if Allison didn’t realize he would be into her dresses and skirts too? What if she thinks he’s weird for not picking only the more unisex clothing like hoodies and jeans? No, that couldn’t be, Klaus decided. She said he could help himself to what he wanted, and she already acknowledged he was different from Diego and Luther in that way, so she shouldn’t be that surprised, right? 

Klaus added another top with a sparkly sequin neckline to the pile and decided he didn’t care anymore. He was sick to death of worrying how people were going to perceive him because of the things he liked. They were just fucking clothes! Sometimes he wanted to sparkle and stand out and challenge the status quo, and so far he’d done exactly that his whole life, so why did he care so much about what Allison or Luther thought of him now? 

“Need me to zip you up or anything?” Allison called from outside the closet. 

_‘Zip you up_ ,’ as in ‘zip your dress,’ is what Klaus took that to mean. Oh, even better, she was already expecting it. No need to let this anxiety stop him from enjoying this once in a lifetime experience to the fullest, after all. God, Allison was great. 

“Not yet!” Klaus called back. 

Then he eyed the pink feathery dress on the rack again and added it to the top of the pile. Even if he wasn’t going to keep it for practicality’s sake, he _had_ to put that on at least once.While he was there he grabbed a couple more dresses, one of them an emerald green party dress that shimmered gold when you moved it in the light. May as well try that on, too. Maybe Diego would be into it, he seemed to be into the other dresses Klaus had been wearing so far. Just the thought of how blushy and cute Diego got around Klaus in a dress brought a smile to his face. God, Diego was so sweet, how did Klaus get so lucky?

Okay, the pile on the bench was already stacked up sky high, that was enough for now. He still wanted to look at the shoes, just to see what kind of ridiculously expensive price tag those had, but he could do that after he tried on some stuff. There was no mirror in this closet, so he scooped up the pile with both arms and took them back out to one of the chairs and flopped them back down. Allison was sitting at her makeup vanity, fully dressed in white shirt that was knotted at the bottom and high waisted red slacks that Klaus adored. Once she noticed him walk out she set down her makeup brush to come investigate what stuff he’d picked.

“Oh, I love that Chanel dress, but I got too fat for it before I got to wear it,” she said, picking up the fluffy pink dress from the top of the pile and holding it up

“Allison, you are _not_ fat,” he said, rolling his eyes.

“Well, I’m not a size three anymore either,” she said, holding the dress around the waist and wrapping it around her stomach to show him how much too small it was. Just barely. 

“Who cares? You still look incredible,” he said. He could see the doubt in her eyes as she looked up at him from the dress she was holding around her, but he meant it.

“Thanks, but why don’t you try it on,” she said dismissively and then held the dress up to him instead. It gave him butterflies inside, but not the kind he got around Diego, these ones were just pure excitement. He wasn’t going to boost Allison’s self image in one day, so he let the subject drop and let himself be excited instead.

“I was going to try it on last, but if you insist,” he said, then whipped off the hoodie and dropped it on the floor. As soon as it hit the floor he picked it up again, because he realized dropping a $500 garment on the _floor_ was probably disrespectful. He tossed it over the chair with the rest of the clothes instead and then took the dress from Allison. 

“Alright, I’m going to finish my makeup while you change,” she said, leaving him to get ready without an audience, even though she could still see him in the vanity mirror. He certainly couldn’t care less if she even saw him fully nude, he didn’t have the slightest notion of modesty as far as that went. 

Klaus slid the dress over his head, adoring the way the slinky fabric and wispy feathers felt against his skin. The long sleeves with fluffy feathers on the ends reminded him of the coat he lost in the motel, but he tried not to dwell on that as he shimmied the dress over his hips, shoving his sweatpants down with it. It was a tight fit even for his slight frame, but once the sweats were out of the way it fell nicer against his body. Then he ran over to the full length mirror on the other side of the island counter between the other two closet doors, already excited to see his reflection.

“This is amazing,” he said, adjusting the high neckline to show a little collar bone. He posed and pretended he was on a red carpet for a second, batting his eyelashes at himself. “I’ve never looked so good without showing any skin from the shin up. I just need pointed white boots, sunglasses and hoop earrings and it would be a whole look. Maybe a little white dog in a handbag.”

“Are your ears pierced?” Allison asked, but kept her focus on the mirror in front of her as she attached a false lash to her eyelid with practiced precision. 

“No, they used to be but I got sick of losing earrings like every four days,” Klaus said, turning around to look at his ass in the mirror. 

“I guess that makes sense. I don’t have any clip on ones, I’m sorry, but I do have sunglasses in the third drawer behind you,” Allison said, briefly applying mascara to her new lashes and then batting her eyes at herself in the mirror. 

When she was satisfied with her reflection she sighed and picked up her wine glass on the vanity and tipped back the rest. Once she finished she stood and set the empty glass on the island counter and went to help Klaus pick out sunglasses.

They spent the next hour or so in front of the mirror, Klaus modeling for Allison and making her laugh with his outrageousness. He cycled through all kinds of clothes; a long midi skirt with matte black fishnet mesh over a shiny black satin slip, a plain black lambskin Saint Laurent skirt (real lambskin with a $2,300 tag on it, holy crap!,) a classic leopard print gypsy skirt that had a gold chain belt, a long, flowy, white and orange sundress with spaghetti straps that had too much empty boob room to actually pull off, a couple pairs of jeans, most of which were way too short or curvy for him, two pairs of cut-off jean shorts - one black with rhinestone studs along the front pockets and the others were blue jean like the ones he already had. He tried on a pair of black leggings with white stars on them, a little pair of pink cycling shorts, and another pair of camo shorts that had pre-frayed holes and silver studs on the back pockets for a subtle punk rock look, which was good. With camo there was a thin line between punk and redneck and Klaus preferred to avoid tipping into redneck territory. They had an awkward gap in the back waistband though, so he definitely wasn’t keeping those. Then he tried on a few sweaters and flashy t-shirts and tank tops, and he loved almost every single one of those. 

When Klaus picked up the shimmery green party dress last, he noticed Allison’s face fall. He pretended not to notice at first, because he couldn’t quite pick up what was wrong in advance, but he knew it made her sad and he didn’t feel like being sad. Not right now while he was having a good time. But that’s not what friends do, so he held the dress up and made her look directly at it to start the dialog she so clearly wanted to have.

“Did you wear this to like a New Year’s Eve party?” he asked, moving it under the lights to show off the gold shimmer over the emerald green. He distinctly remembered owning nailpolish that looked exactly like this in his life at some point. Probably some shit he stole from Rite Aid, since that’s where he got most of his polishes. 

“That’s what I wore the last time Luther took me on a real date… a year and a half ago,” she said, reaching out to touch the material wistfully. There it was, the root of all the sighs and eyerolling when someone brought up Luther, and Klaus didn’t need her to say it was the root of the drinking, too. He already had that hunch, but he didn’t like to make assumptions about someone else’s substance use.

“Didn’t you guys just return from a party the night we got here?” he asked, then unzipped the back of the dress, which he was just now realizing had a significantly deep V cut in the back, even deeper than the front. Hot.

“Ugh, that doesn’t count,” Allison said with a scoff. “Those are work functions for Luther, and I am just brought along for appearances. He doesn’t even talk to me while we’re there, really, because he is busy talking to investors and marketers and all that junk. He leaves me to mingle with all the rest of the boring, fake spouses that have nothing to do with corporate life.”

“Well that’s shitty,” Klaus said, then slipped the dress over his head and tugged it down. Even before it was zipped up it hugged him so well he got distracted by his own reflection in the mirror for a moment.

“It’s not entirely his fault,” Allison said, stepping behind Klaus to zip up the dress. He looked at her defeated expression over his shoulder in the mirror and it tugged on his heartstrings. “I know he’s under a remarkable amount of stress, more than either of us even realized he would be with this job.”

“Well, still, he’s the fucking top dog. He can take some time off whenever he wants, right?” Klaus said, then turned around to face her. She shrugged and folded her arms. 

“Not really. There is nobody that can fill his shoes while he’s gone, so unless he makes arrangements like a month in advance he’s kind of stuck,” she said, then stepped away from him and walked over to the counter and pulled out a long, dainty gold chain necklace. When she came back over she nudged his shoulder for him to turn back around to face the mirror.

“Hmm, that’s definitely frustrating, but what about when he gets home at night? He doesn’t want to take you out then?” Klaus asked, watching her wrap the necklace around his neck and fasten it. 

It wasn’t the time to gasp, but he really wanted to when he turned to look at his back again in the mirror. He expected it to just be a long, regular chain necklace, but instead it was one of those fucking cool ones that was short in the front and the rest of the chain dangled elegantly down his spine between his shoulderblades. The bottom of the chain had a teardrop shaped diamond that twinkled softly in this lighting, and the necklace complimented the open back of the dress so well it gave him those butterflies again. Until Allison spoke again and he felt guilty for being excited while she was feeling lousy.

“No. When he gets home at night he’s physically shaking from the overwhelming amount of bullshit he’s had to deal with all day, on top of the inhuman amount of caffeine he consumes to keep himself alert for 15 hour shifts,” Allison said with a sigh and a shrug. “The only time we have together is the 20 minutes before he sleeps, or tries to sleep anyway, and I ask him about his day and rub his stiff shoulders for him. He physically can’t relax anymore, he doesn’t even enjoy his life.”

“Hang on, there’s a lot to unpack here, but we should be sitting down for this conversation,” Klaus said. “Want to go have that smoke, now?”

“Yeah that sounds good. Do you want a glass of wine? I’m going to get another one before we go out,” she said, and Klaus felt his heart skip a beat, his voice catching in his throat. He should say no. He should definitely fucking say no, but every traitorous fiber of his being was trying to make him say yes.

“Uh- I… I can’t-” he managed to push out in spite of the overwhelming urge to just cave.

“Diego isn’t here, you can have a glass of wine, Klaus,” she said, rolling her eyes as she poured her glass. Klaus crossed his arms and looked at the floor.

“He’s not the problem. I’m the problem,” he said. Allison frowned as she set the bottle down and looked up to stare at him as she started connecting the dots. He glanced up just quick enough to watch the realization dawn on her. 

“ _Ohhh, shit,_ I forgot. You-”

“Yeah.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t even-”

“It’s fine. But please help yourself, it won’t bother me if you drink in front of me,” he said, waving for her to go ahead and bring her glass out with them. 

She nodded, but he could tell she was still feeling guilty for offering it to him in the first place. It _was_ fine, though. He’d managed to resist for now, and it was giving him an entirely different kind of butterflies again. It had been a really long time since he’d felt _proud_ of himself, but that had to be what he was feeling, right? He’d managed to turn down temptation for the first time in years, even if it was just a little glass of wine. It might not be so easy if someone had offered him pills, but he would cross that bridge whenever he came to it. For now he was just relieved he could do it this time.

Once Allison collected her glass and her pack of smokes hidden in her jewelry box on the vanity counter, Klaus followed her out to the balcony in his shiny dress and bare feet. He thought it would be a regular little rectangle balcony but it was _huge_ , and had a mini circle _hot tub,_ and several deck chairs facing the morning sunshine and potted palm leaf plants and - Klaus was in love. He could sit out here and sip drinks in sunglasses and swim trunks all day. 

“How do you just live with so much amazing shit every day?”’ Klaus asked, running to the edge of the balcony and leaning over the railing to see what side of the house they were on. It happened to be on the same side as the patio they’d had breakfast on this morning, so when he looked over the edge he could see the pool and patio off to the left down below.

“Because it’s just stuff, and it loses its charm after a while,” Allison said, sitting down on one of the deck chairs. 

Klaus looked back at her over his shoulder, wondering how depressed she really was to be surrounded by luxury and not even being able to enjoy it. He felt a little bit of resentment as well. He would never be able to have anything like this in his wildest dreams and she took it for granted, but he was trying not to let that part of him overshadow the part of him that was sympathetic to her personal issues. He sighed as quietly as possible and walked over to sit in the deck chair next to her, hiking the dress up to his thighs so he didn’t rip it when he sat on the low chair.

“Alright, so start at the beginning,” Klaus said, taking the smoke and lighter she held out for him.

“The beginning?” 

“The beginning of you and Luther, tell me how things were before he took over the business,” Klaus said, then lit the end of the cigarette and inhaled deeply.

“Oh, um. I met him when I was 20 and he was 19,” she said, holding her wine glass against her chest and smiling as she thought about it. “I had just finished a movie with my first leading role, he was just starting his first year of college a few months before that. We were at the same snobby charity event hosted by someone neither of us even liked, so our first bonding moment was us having too much champagne and teasing the host behind his back.”

“What month?” Klaus asked.

“Uhhh, like October, I think? I had just turned 20 and I was born in August, so yeah, I think it was early October, why?” she asked. 

“Just curious, also are you a Leo?” he asked, mostly to distract her from the ‘why,’ because he was only asking to find out if it was before or after Diego’s trial. He already knew Luther’s birthday was in late June, Agnes had told him, so it was definitely after if Luther was 19. He felt another streak of resentment on Diego’s behalf, because that meant only five months after his brother went to prison, Luther was out partying and scoring with hot girls, living the dream. Of course he was.

“I am!” she said, lighting up from him guessing right. Of course he didn’t _need_ her to confirm, he could tell by the _everything_ about her, but that didn’t matter. “I don’t know anyone that’s into that stuff, really, though. Is it real?”

“I personally think so, but I don’t tell anyone else what to believe,” Klaus said with a shrug. “Of course there are people who don’t fit the typical sun sign description, but in a lot of those cases it has to do with their upbringing drastically re-shaping them, especially if it was a traumatic childhood. But even the way we respond to trauma can be explained with astrology if you get deep enough into it, especially if you learn to read natal charts. I haven’t gotten that deep into it yet, though. That takes like, studying and practice and I just don’t have the time.”

“Wait so you think if you’re born on a particular day that you’re already possessing a certain set of traits right out of the womb?” Allison asked, and normally Klaus would wanna get elbows deep in this conversation, but this isn’t what they were supposed to be talking about.

“You know what, I don’t think about the rules on paper too hard. I mostly work by intuition. I know that sounds like a cop out answer, but-”

“It definitely does,” Allison said, smiling and sipping from her glass without looking away from him.

“Okay, let me show you what I mean. Can I see your hand? Then you won’t have to fill me in about Luther, I’ll already know,” Klaus said, switching his cigarette to his other hand and holding out the one next to Allison. 

She looked at his hand skeptically for a moment, but then offered hers hesitantly. He held the back of her hand and glanced at her palm, not bothering with learning the lines or creases. It wasn’t about that for Klaus. It was about the person opening that channel of vulnerability, and sometimes it was easier to get them to do that if they believed he was just staring at their heart line or whatever.

 _Loneliness._ It was swallowing her in every area of her life, crushing her like she was sinking to the bottom of the ocean. Klaus had to actually inhale deeply because it physically took his breath away. Her marriage, her career, family ties, friendships - all crumbling away and leaving her with nothing to grab onto, nothing to stop her from slipping further out to sea, except in this case, the sea was made of moscato and mimosas. The further he swam through the dark water, the more he was able to piece together how she got here.

“Why did you stop acting?” he asked, because he couldn’t quite figure that out. That door was locked even to him. 

“I wanted to help Luther when his father got sick,” she said, and Klaus instantly knew that wasn’t the whole truth. 

“But you hadn’t taken a role for a while before any of that happened, either,” Klaus said, watching her face change from a pleasantly buzzed smile to a frown. She took her hand back, like he had immediately touched a nerve with just the first question. She subconsciously blocked the channel again, putting up the walls that had been protecting her. As usual, people didn’t like it when Klaus could zero in on the ugliness they tried to keep hidden. Maybe he should have just told her that he could tell her favorite color was purple or something generic first. 

“Because… it’s hard to be a woman in the entertainment business, okay?” she said, looking away from him to gaze off into the horizon. “I had just gotten married, and I didn’t want to-”

“Ohhhh,” Klaus accidentally interrupted as he realized exactly what was going on. She looked back at him and he waved her on. “Sorry, continue.”

She licked her bottom lip and resigned herself to answering. “The casting couch is real, Klaus. I couldn’t do anything like that anymore. I mean there were roles I could take without that price, but they would have killed my career anyway.”

Klaus nodded, that’s what he’d figured out all by himself. She was looking at him like he would judge her, as if he had any room to talk whatsoever. Who were the people that could get ahead in life without sucking a few dicks, anyway? Not him, that’s for sure. 

“I also wanted to-” she started, her bottom lip starting to quiver. He could finish her next sentence for her too, but he waited for her to do it without interrupting again. “I wanted to start a family. Luther and I were getting everything ready to start trying, too, and then his father got sick and… and then none of that mattered anymore. Luther didn’t want to bring a baby into the world if he couldn’t be around much, and I _get_ it. Of course I get it, and I also don’t want to raise a child when he can’t be present enough for even just me, let alone our children. But…”

“But you still want it,” Klaus said, watching her nod as a tear slid down her cheek. “Aww, well there is still plenty of time for that. How old are you now? Like 28?”

“29 as of a couple months ago. But do I really want to be a mother at 30?” she asked, shaking her head. “Plus, even if I did, it’s not like anything is going to change with Luther. I will basically be raising a child alone, even though their dad will be living in the same house.”

“I don’t normally like to predict futures because then people fuck them up once they know, but I’m telling you right now, you will have children, Allison. You will, and it won’t be alone. I’m getting twins,” Klaus said with complete sincerity. Allison gave him the most skeptical expression ever and let out a snort of laughter even with tear tracks on her cheeks.

“Luther wouldn’t even know what to do with twins,” she said, then picked up her pack of cigarettes to pull one out. Klaus handed her back her lighter and watched her light it. 

“He would figure it out. Your aunt had twins, yes? They run in families, you know,” Klaus said, realizing she’d brought her guard down again and that’s why he was able to figure that out. 

“She did, two girls, they are a lot younger than me, though,” she said, and her smile faded into bittersweetness. She hadn’t seen them in a long time, or her aunt, or anyone else in her family, really. Then something else occurred to her and she looked back at Klaus with wide eyes. “Wait, I definitely didn’t tell you I even had an aunt, let alone what kids she has.”

“Yeah, I keep telling people I’m good at this, but nobody believes me until I freak them out, and then they’re mad at me,” Klaus said, going to take a puff but realizing his own cigarette had gone out ages ago from him forgetting to smoke it.

“I’m not mad at you, but it is weird that you know that,” she said, still looking plenty unsettled by the information. “You really think I’ll have kids?”

“I do. If you really want it, make it happen. Luther will adjust,” Klaus said, then reached over to touch her elbow. “But hey, I think he needs to hear it from you, that you’re tired of waiting. You’ve given up everything for him, he can sacrifice some work time for you and a family. He’s a zillionaire, he can afford to hire and train someone that can do some work for him. Fuck, he could even retire right now and he would still be financially set for seven lifetimes. Why is he torturing himself like this?”

“Because… I guess because the business helps him stay connected to his father, in a way. He’s still letting his dad make decisions for him beyond the grave, and I don’t know if that will ever change,” Allison said, ashing into her own empty wine glass. “I knew that when I married him, though.”

“Reginald didn’t want him to marry you though, did he?” Klaus asked, because that was another thing he’d picked up on earlier, too.

“Nope. I was a distraction to his legacy child that he was creating specifically to rule the empire when he was gone,” Allison said, rolling her eyes. 

“But he married you anyway, in spite of what his dad wanted, right?” Klaus said, making her smile softly again. 

“He did.”

“Exactly, so don’t give up on him. If he wants to keep you, and keep you happy, he will make the choices he needs to make. Especially if he also wanted children before all the hard stuff started happening. You just have to demand better for yourself, because you deserve it,” Klaus said, but he was fighting off a big yawn. He didn’t want her to feel like he was bored, it’s just that taking in that much of someone else’s energy tended to drain his own somewhat.

“I have tried, Klaus, but he just tells me to stop hassling him about it because he can’t escape the responsibilities,” Allison said, and Klaus could see that brief flicker of hope from his prediction of her having kids go out. “I don’t know how to make him reconsider.”

“Okay listen, you are Allison fucking Sawyer! You were raised in a two bedroom rental house with three siblings and parents that could barely afford to feed all of you, but you _fought_ for your future. I’ve known your name and seen your face in magazines for over a decade. You kicked ass at auditions, landed great roles and rose faster than any star would as a teenager that doesn’t get a boost from Disney. You didn’t have that leg up to get where you are; you didn’t have rich parents to send you to Juilliard or a stage mom that could blaze the path for you. You’re a fighter, you’re a boss bitch, you made a life for yourself that seems like a fairy tale. _And_ you did it as a young black woman!” Klaus said passionately, trying to light that dominating fire inside her that he knew she had before life snuffed it out. She had to look away from him while he spoke, unable to handle him talking so bluntly about her accomplishments. “Not to mention you scored a man with an inheritance that’s as big as all the money in several banks combined, and he _loves_ you for _real!_ Don’t tell me you can’t get exactly what you want now! Dump out that bottle of wine, get your head right, then put on a Wonderbra and go make a baby!”

“ _Okay,_ Klaus! God,” Allison said from behind her hands, but she was laughing and blushing and smiling so sweet. Awww he kinda loved her even though they just met. She stared at him for a few seconds before saying anything else. “And what about you?”

“Nah, my titties aren’t big enough for a wonderbra and I would be a horrible parent, that’s all you,” he said, making her laugh again. 

“No! I mean what’s your story! You know more about me than I do, it seems, so tell me about you,” she said, resting her elbow on the arm of the chair and then her chin on her palm. Klaus felt his stomach drop and he groaned out loud.

“I’m awful, I don’t want to talk about me,” he said, but he already knew she wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Diego doesn’t seem to think you’re awful,” Allison said in a sing-song voice. “In fact, he seems to think you’re pretty damn amazing.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking ab- wait, did he say that to you?” Klaus asked, staring at Allison intently. He’d been dying to know what Diego says about him to other people now that they weren’t alone together all the time.

“He doesn’t have to say it! I can see it, the way he looks at you like you’re made of stars,” she said, smiling when she was the one to make Klaus look away and blush this time. “He did tell me he loves you, though.”

Klaus inhaled sharply and felt his heart clench and then flood with emotion. He knew Diego had said those words to him, but to know he was admitting it to _other people,_ too? Doors of his heart he didn’t even know existed broke down just to make space for all the love and happiness that hearing that filled him with. 

“Really?” he asked, trying not to let himself feel so much he cried about it, but he couldn’t stop his eyes from tearing up anyway. It meant _so_ much to him to hear that, he couldn’t contain it.

“Yes, has he not said it to you yet or something? I’m so sorry if I spilled the beans before he was ready,” she said, holding her hand over her heart like she felt sincerely sorry if she had.

“No, no, he has! It’s just all very fresh, is all. I’m not used to someone speaking of me fondly,” Klaus said, sniffing hard to try and hold in some snot that threatened to escape from the unflattering, almost-crying he was doing.

“Awww, why? You’re great, and he knows it too!” 

“Ugh, he wouldn’t if-...” Klaus trailed off and shook his head, every self-loathing reason popping up in his mind about why Diego shouldn’t or wouldn’t love him if he knew about them. 

“If what?” Allison pressed. 

“If he knew who I really was before we met! If he knew all the horrible things I’ve done, the people I’ve hurt and lied to and stolen from, people that didn’t deserve it. Not to mention all the ugly, disturbing details about my job, and about my life even before that - he would see me differently, and it would kill me,” Klaus said, finishing on a whisper with his eyes closed.

“Hey, I think he knows enough about who you were to have a pretty good picture, and he still thinks the sun shines out of your ass, right?” Allison said, but she also didn’t know his past. 

“Do you know what’s in that envelope Luther handed me?” he asked rhetorically. She shook her head. “It’s STD test results. And I couldn’t help but notice that my envelope was a lot bigger than the one he had for Diego. I’m sure Luther didn’t hesitate to fill you in on my profession?”

“Yeah, I know about it,” she said, her smile totally wiped now. “How long since you were tested last?”

“God, I don’t even remember. At least six months, and I’ve… Ugh, see, if Diego knew how many people I’ve been with, especially the unprotected stuff, he would-”

“Klaus, listen to me. He’s not an idiot. If he already knows about the prostitution, he knows what that entails. If he’s already chosen to love you regardless of that, you guys can get through whatever that piece of paper in the envelope says,” she insisted, reaching out to rest her fingertips on his shoulder. All Klaus could do was shake his head and shrug her fingers off of him.

“You don’t understand, he’s not like normal guys. He’s… he’s naive in a lot of ways, and I just don’t think he really knows the extent of it, you know? The last time I did some work while I was around him he freaked out on me and made me feel like shit about it, when I was only doing it to help us survive after everything got really fucked up,” Klaus explained, but he kind of wanted to stop talking about it now. It was ruining this fun morning he was having, making him dwell on how much he hated himself and how much he hadn’t even explained to Diego about himself.

“I mean I’m no expert on the subject, but it just sounds like he was jealous that you were with other people, maybe?” Allison said, not convincing Klaus whatsoever, but he wanted this conversation to be over now. 

“Yeah, maybe that was it,” Klaus said with as much sincerity as he could muster. She wasn’t there, she didn’t see the look in Diego’s eyes when he realized what Klaus had been doing while he slept off a gunshot wound. 

“Well, it’s like you said to me, I think Diego needs to hear this from you, that you’re concerned about how he sees your history. While you guys open your test results, that seems like a good time to bring up the subject again. He can explain it for your own peace of mind,” she said.

Klaus knew that was probably good advice, but he didn’t feel ready to bring that up to Diego again. What if it made him angry all over again? What if it made them fight and shattered Diego’s good but fragile image of him? Plus, it was a month ago now, bringing it up again just seemed to scream ‘insecurity,’ and he was so damn tired of looking like a baby that needed constant reassurance all the time.

“I’ll think about it,” he said dismissively, even though she didn’t deserve that. It was just much easier to read other people and give them advice than it was to hear someone’s advice about his own problems. “In the meantime, we should get back inside. You have a whole shoe rack I still haven’t investigated.”

Allison smiled and laughed, then nodded. “Sure, let’s go. I’ve got some makeup you can have too, if you want.”

“You are an angel, I would love that,” he said, then followed her back inside. 

Once Klaus had gone through Allison’s shoes that sadly didn’t fit, changed back into the sweats and hoodie, rounded up all the stuff she was giving him, and then carried it all back to his room with her help, it was almost noon. He hadn’t actually meant to spend all morning playing dress-up, but it was too much fun and he got carried away, plus there was a whole hour of deep discussions that he hadn’t been anticipating, either. Allison had also tried to make him take the diamond bracelet she fastened on his wrist, but he refused it as stubbornly as he could. He couldn’t take something like that from her for a lot of reasons, but mostly because if he had something valuable, small and easily pawnable like that… He didn’t even want to think about how fast he could get a hold of a little bag of pills. At least with clothes it was harder to pawn them, even nice designer stuff.

“Diego?” Klaus called as soon as he and Allison carried two armloads of clothes and a bag of makeup into the bedroom. Diego wasn’t there, and it didn’t look like he had been since they’d left that morning.

“Maybe he’s still with Luther,” Allison said, flopping her armload of clothes on the bed next to the one Klaus dropped. 

“Maybe, but I doubt either of them could stand each other that long,” Klaus said, then took the pink paper Victoria’s Secret bag full of makeup from Allison when she held it out. He pulled out the padded envelope that he’d stuffed in the bag and stared at it for a moment, then tossed it on the bed. He wasn’t going to bring that with him to find Diego, they could deal with that shit later.

“Oh, shit, that just made me think of something,” Allison said, watching Klaus’ expression get stormy as he tossed the envelope. “Do… do you guys need condoms? I have a huge box upstairs, and I’m certainly not-”

“ _No!_ ” Klaus interrupted accidentally, then tried to think fast about how he was going to avoid telling her they weren’t having sex yet. She wouldn’t believe two hot, young, in-love people like them were just _choosing_ to remain abstinent, but he also was _not_ about to tell her the truth about why. Diego would never forgive him if he blabbed to a single soul about his virginity or his trauma. _Especially_ Allison, because she could tell Luther, and then Diego would never be the same if his dickhead brother knew he was a virgin. Keeping secrets wasn’t Klaus’ forte, but this was important. “Um, sorry, I mean, no thank you. We have uh… kind of been busy not getting arrested, being ambushed and shot, going through withdrawal, grappling with the morality of murder, you know, totally normal things. It’s just been a lot, and we’ve also been waiting for those results.”

“Oh, okay, that makes sense! I just want you guys to be safe, especially if… if you haven’t been so safe before you two got together,” she said. “Please don’t be afraid to ask me if you need them, I know you don’t have any other way to buy them at the-”

“Allison, you are amazing, thank you, but I don’t expect to need them right away,” Klaus said, resting his hand on her arm to stop her from talking while still displaying appreciation. “We’re kind of just enjoying learning how to love each other without sex getting involved yet, especially for me because I always let sex fuck everything up. It’s honestly been… pretty nice, knowing someone likes me for who I am rather than how I can please them. So I’m in no hurry, at least not until we figure out how we’re going to survive in the real world after all the legal stuff blows over.”

“God, you guys are too sweet,” Allison said, smiling warmly at him and nodding. “Well, the offer stands should something change.”

“Noted,” Klaus said with a wink. “Speaking of him, I need to figure out where he is and go get him. I told him to meet me back by the pool at one, but it’s only noon.”

“We have a gym, does he like working out?” Allison asked, but she was headed for the door since Klaus had all but dismissed her. “He looks like he likes to work out.”

“He does, but he’s still pretty fucked up from getting shot. I don’t know if he would be messing around in there, but he’s pretty stubborn and prideful, so he could be,” Klaus said, scratching his goatee.

“It’s on this floor, just down the other hallway. I can take you by there, it won’t take any time at all,” she said, and he nodded. If Diego wasn’t there, it would still kill time until he would for sure be at their predetermined meetup spot.

As Klaus walked down the long corridor with Allison toward the gym, he did a double take as they passed a grand, two door entryway into an enormous library with bright afternoon sunlight streaming in through a wall of windows. He instantly knew that if Diego happened to walk this way toward the gym he would have been inescapably enraptured by this room. He halted and tapped Allison’s arm so she would stop too.

“I bet he’s in here,” Klaus said, smiling already about how cute his secret nerd boyfriend was.

“Really? He didn’t strike me as an avid reader,” Allison said, raising her eyebrows.

“I’ve learned to not judge this book by his cover, he’s got more facets than a bag of diamonds,” Klaus said. Allison smiled and nodded.

“Alright, well if he’s not in there, the gym is just three doors down on the left,” she said, pointing down the hall to a door on the opposite side of the hall. “If you’re all set, I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Yeah, I think I got it from here, thank you.”

“Oh, and I’m making those steaks for dinner tonight, if you guys want to join me around six or so. Or I can have them sent up to your room if you’d rather-”

“No, we should be there. I don’t see Diego turning down a free steak dinner even if he’s trying to torture himself out of pride. I’m sure we will see you in a little bit,” Klaus said, and he could tell she didn’t really want to be alone again, but he was already starting to miss Diego. He didn’t want her around simply because Diego would clam up and not be quite himself, and Klaus wanted to love on him without an audience, damn it. 

After he waved goodbye to Allison, Klaus ventured into the library, absolutely stunned by how expansive it was. They could practically run a college out of this house. Klaus had seen public city libraries that were smaller than this. Did Luther even read all these books? Did his father? Were they just for show? Klaus could think of like maybe eight books he’d read as an adult since the ones he was forced to read in high school, and half of them were during his stay in rehab clinics when he had nothing better to do. His attention was too sporadic to commit to that many words at a time. And yet Diego seemed to love reading outside of prison, too. Weird. 

Klaus walked past all the aisles of books until he reached the last row at the back by window wall, then he spotted him. The left side of the room went a little deeper than the right, and there was a little cove that was tucked away beyond all the windows. Klaus stood at the end of the long bookshelf, peering around the corner and just observing Diego for a few moments. He was sitting in one of several big, fluffy, dark green armchairs that were arranged in a haphazard circle around a coffee table in the middle. He had his nose in a paperback book, an open glass bottle of Coke sitting on his knee with a hand around it, and his signature concentration frown on his face. So cute, Klaus couldn’t wait to distract him.

Part of him wanted to creep up the other side of the bookshelf and surprise him from behind, but the other part of him knew Diego wasn’t the kind of person you just sneak up on, for obvious reasons. Instead he started walking forward in plain sight, which was not as fun, but at least this way he would get to see Diego look up from his book when he heard someone coming and smile when he realized who it was. 

And that’s exactly what happened, Diego’s face lighting up just as Klaus made it past the windows and into the little reading den. Klaus’ heart skipped a beat, he would never get tired of someone being happy to see him. It made him smile too, and jog the rest of the way up to Diego’s chair. 

“Hey, how did you- oh, okay,” Diego said, letting Klaus take the book and soda bottle from his hands and set them on the coffee table, then crawl directly into his lap. He quickly adjusted to Klaus straddling his hips with a knee on either side and holding both sides of his face. 

“I missed you,” Klaus said, leaning down and kissing Diego before he could respond. 

He felt Diego’s arms instinctively reach up and wrap around the small of his back and it made him weak. As Klaus pulled back he moved his hands up the sides of Diego’s head and brushed his fluffy hair back off his forehead, then gave that a quick kiss too. Diego wrapped his arms around him tighter and let his head drop back against the chair so he could gaze up at Klaus’ face with stars in his eyes, just like Allison said he did.

“Missed you, too,” Diego said softly as he studied Klaus’ face above him. “So how did you find me?”

“I’m psychic, duh,” Klaus said with a wink. Diego let a soft puff of laughter out of his nose and nodded. “And where did you find a Coke in a glass bottle?”

“There’s a vending machine on the second floor that you don’t have to pay for, it’s pretty cool,” Diego said, and that was the first time Klaus had heard him compliment something about this place. 

“That is cool. You know what else is cool?” he asked, waiting a single beat before leaning down and kissing Diego again. 

Klaus rested his forearms on Diego’s collar bones and cupped his jaws, settling in to kiss him longer this time. When he felt the fingertips of one of Diego’s hands sneak under his hoodie and trail over the small of his back he let out a soft whine of contentment against Diego’s lips. Then his other hand followed, both of them sliding up Klaus’ warm back under his hoodie so it lifted up with Diego’s forearms the further up he went. 

“Mmmh,” Klaus hummed softly, then pulled his face back a few millimeters just to catch a breath, panting faintly against Diego’s lips as nails gently dragged back down his back on the same path. It made his pulse quicken, a shiver running down his spine in the wake of the scratches, and made his cock twitch. God, he would ride Diego’s dick _right fucking here_ in this chair if it was possible. 

Instead he whispered ‘ _don’t stop,_ ’ and leaned back in for another kiss. He felt Diego’s tongue glance against his bottom lip and he eagerly accepted, tasting sweet cola as he let their tongues slide together. Kissing Diego was his most favorite thing to do in the world; he got high just from the feel of Diego’s big, plush lips on his and stubble scraping lightly, making his mouth tingle around the edges. The only thing that would make this even better is if Diego would reach under his waistband instead and squeeze his ass, but he still wouldn’t change this either. Especially when he felt Diego gasp into his mouth when one of Klaus’ hands reached up to tangle and tug lightly on the hair on the nape of his neck.

But then it was over, Diego unlocked their lips and took his hands out from under the hoodie, then looked down at his own left forearm. Klaus tried not to pout, he knew Diego could only handle so much, but he could have sat there and kissed him for the rest of the day. When he saw Diego frown at whatever he was looking at Klaus followed his eyes down toward his own hip, and he realized Diego had pulled the tag from the pants out of his pocket. Oh, it must have been sticking out and poked him, distracting him from their kiss. 

“Oh, sorry, I forgot I put that there,” Klaus said, sitting back on Diego’s thighs and taking the tag from his hand. “I just saved it so I could show you how stupid expensive these pants were.”

“I spent $25 on four pairs of sweatpants exactly like this from K-mart, that is definitely stupid. What the fuck is _Dior?_ ” Diego asked. Klaus chuckled and stuffed the tag back in his pocket. 

“It’s just the designer name, babe.”

“It costs $500 to design identical sweatpants to the ones I’m wearing, just in a different color?” Diego asked, and Klaus didn’t bother answering, he just leaned back down and kissed the frown lines between Diego’s eyebrows. “Rich people are stupid.”

“They are, but these rich people are saving our hides _and_ we get to live in luxury for a couple weeks, so I’m not knocking it,” Klaus mumbled, keeping his nose and lips resting against Diego’s forehead. “Wait ‘til you see the $6,000 dress she gave me.”

“ _Ugh,_ ” Diego groaned, and Klaus could feel him rolling his eyes just from the muscles in his forehead moving under his lips. “Actually you know what? I am kind of looking forward to you showing me what you got. Just don’t tell me what it costs because that pisses me off.”

Klaus had to lean back again so he didn’t snort-laugh against Diego’s face. “I know you don’t give a shit about clothes.”

“I don’t, but I care about seeing you in them, anyway,” Diego said, finding Klaus’ hand and bringing it up to his mouth to kiss his fingers. It made Klaus’ heart warm, until he noticed Diego’s knuckles were split, dried blood in the creases. 

“Did… did you hit Luther?” Klaus asked, twisting their hands so he was the one holding Diego’s knuckles up to his face now. Diego’s entire demeanor changed immediately, Klaus felt all the warmth and love surrounding them be sucked out of the room like a vacuum. All that was left was the black cloud of Diego’s anger and shame settling over them, and the look of disgust on his face. He looked away and glared at the bookshelf, unable to make eye contact with Klaus now. “ _Oh, honey._ I’m sorry. Is everything okay? He didn’t hit you back?”

Diego didn’t answer, and Klaus saw his throat working as he tried to swallow his emotions. Klaus knew what this meant, he knew Diego didn’t want to lose control like that ever again. He also knew that it was _bound_ to happen, though, and he couldn’t blame Diego one bit. How could Diego not hit Luther after what he did? All the monetary ass-kissing Luther was doing was great, but spending money didn’t hurt him one bit. Getting socked in the face by the man he betrayed and left to rot in prison at 17 years old? Yeah, that would hurt, and be more than deserved. Maybe that’s why Diego didn’t have any face wounds. Luther must have known he had it coming, too. That still didn’t stop Diego from feeling guilty about snapping, though, because it spoke to his inability to control his temper, however righteous it was. 

“Baby it’s _okay._ He deserved it, and he knows it,” Klaus said, but Diego was still trying to ignore him so he reached out and cupped his face to turn it toward himself. Diego let him, and Klaus saw the pain and guilt in his eyes. “Listen to me. I know you’re mad at yourself, and I understand, but please forgive yourself this one time. You’ve been waiting eight years to make Luther feel even a _second_ of the pain he caused you all that time, and for how it hurt your mom, too. Not to mention the way he talks to you is shitty and borderline abusive considering the unfair power dynamics happening here with you being at his mercy again. You’re not the bad, dangerous person you think you are, okay?”

“If you say so,” Diego said, then broke the eye contact so he could let his head drop back against the chair and stare blankly at the ceiling instead.

“I do say so. I _love_ you. I know you’re a good man, Diego,” Klaus said, resting his hand on Diego’s chest over his heart. “Please don’t let yourself think this means anything other than just some fucking asshole getting what he deserves.”

“He didn’t go to her funeral,” Diego said softly, a tear leaking out of the corner of one of his eyes that dripped back over his temple and into his hair. Klaus covered his mouth with his hand and felt his heart break right along with Diego’s. 

“Oh my god,” Klaus said behind his hand, then dropped it. “I’m so fucking sorry. I know I didn’t know her, but I still know she deserved so much better.”

“She deserved better than the shit everyone in her life gave her, including me,” Diego said, then lifted his head up again and patted Klaus’ leg. “Please get up.”

“Baby, you’re-” 

“Get up, Klaus.”

“Okay,” Klaus said, scooting back off Diego’s lap and standing up. He crossed his arms over his ribs and stepped back, worrying his bottom lip as he watched Diego stand up and start collecting the small pile of books on the coffee table. It wasn’t very often that Klaus was speechless, but he knew that anything he said wasn’t going to help. The hurt Diego was feeling went way deeper than any words could heal.

“I don’t really feel like going for a walk anymore, if that’s alright with you,” Diego said, holding his armload of books and coke bottle in the other hand as he turned to look at Klaus. 

“Of course, the garden will be there another day,” Klaus said, then uncrossed his arms and held out his hands to offer to carry some books but Diego just shook his head.

“I’m going to go back to the room,” Diego said, then starting heading back up the aisle. 

“Can I come with you?” Klaus asked, still standing there, unsure if Diego even wanted him around. Diego stopped and turned, frowning with confusion instead of anger.

“Of course. Klaus, I’m not mad at you,” Diego said.

“I know,” Klaus lied. He didn’t know that. He felt personally responsible for upsetting Diego when they were having such a good time. He should have just ignored the splits in Diego’s knuckles and filled in the blanks himself. “I just wasn’t sure if you wanted to be alone.”

“I’ve already been alone all morning,” Diego said, then he walked back and set the half empty coke bottle on the table again and held out his hand for Klaus to take. “C’mon. You’ve got a fancy dress to show me, right?”

Klaus couldn’t help but smile at that. He nodded and took Diego’s hand, then let him lead them back down the long hall to their bedroom on the opposite end of the 2nd floor. They were both quiet on the way but comfortably so, and that was one of Klaus’ favorite things about Diego. He didn’t feel the need to fill the silence with mundane small talk or nervous babbling with him like he did with everyone else. They could just _be_ together. Until they walked in the bedroom and Klaus saw the stupid results envelope sitting on the bed, anyway, his mood completely shot again.

“Ugh, we should get this over with first,” Klaus said, shoving all the clothes to one side of the bed and picking up the envelope. He flopped down on the bed next to the pillows with his legs crossed, and Diego set down his books on the side table and then sat down next to him on his other side.

“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to open it without you or not,” Diego said, pulling the envelope he’d folded in half out of his pocket. Klaus felt his hands starting to shake and his heart beat faster.

“I don’t want to open them at all,” Klaus said, noticing just how much bigger his own was than Diego’s again and feeling his stomach drop. “Ugh, why is mine bigger than yours? I hate this.”

“Do you want me to go first?” Diego asked, sliding his pinky finger in the little opening at the end, then tearing it along the seam when Klaus nodded. He had to look away as Diego took three pieces of paper out of his envelope and unfurled them. It only took him a few seconds to read down the results list on the first page. “It’s all negative, it’s okay.”

“Okay, good,” Klaus said, but it made the tears start despite being relieved for him. He tried to ignore them, wiping his eyes on the back of his hands and nodding toward the other papers. “What are the other things?”

“Umm, one is information about the tattoo removal process, and the other looks like my physical therapy schedule,” Diego said, staring at the third piece of paper. “Three times a week starting tomorrow at 7am with some dude named Chuck. Can’t wait.”

“Oh wow, that’s so soon, and _early,_ Jesus,” Klaus said, shaking his head. “Why does everyone do stuff so early in this house.”

“I guess successful people are early risers,” Diego said, then folded the papers back up and stuffed them in the envelope.

“Wait! What about the tattoo stuff,” Klaus said, not that he was stalling on opening his own results… not at all.

“I’ll look at it later. That’s not the kind of anxiety I want to have right now. I’m much more concerned about you,” Diego said, tapping Klaus’ yellow envelope in his hand.

“I can’t-” Klaus said, shaking his head and swallowing hard. “I can’t open it.”

“Yes you can, it’s going to be okay,” Diego said. Klaus rolled his eyes hard enough that another tear fell down his cheek. 

“The chance that I’m not okay is far greater here, Diego. But I’ve never been this scared before,” Klaus said quietly, his breath hitching as he inhaled. “I’ve never had a reason to even worry if… if I died or got sick, I didn’t care, it didn’t phase me like it does now. I didn’t have anything to lose, and now I do… What if it’s _bad?_ You’re not going to want me if I’m tainted.”

“Klaus, stop. I don’t care what that piece of paper in there says, I’m not going to leave you, or stop loving you, or whatever it is you’re afraid of,” Diego said, reaching up to squeeze the nape of Klaus’ neck soothingly.

“But you think I’m gross, or at least my job is,” Klaus said, feeling absolutely miserable and disgusting and stupid.

“Why do you think that? I don’t think you’re gross, Klaus, not at _all._ ”

“That morning back in Idaho… when I came back, you were so disgusted by what I had been out doing, even-”

“God, really? I didn’t even know you were still thinking about that, I’m _so_ sorry. It wasn’t because… because of what you were doing, just that you didn’t talk to me, and because…” Diego said, then sighed. “I guess because I wanted to protect you from having to do that again, and I felt like I failed, and I took it out on you. I’m sorry, I was _wrong_. I know you were just trying to make sure we didn’t get stranded or starve. I should have known you’re strong and capable and you didn’t need me to protect you.”

“It’s okay, I know you were hurting and afraid, too,” Klaus said, picking at the corner of the envelope until there was a hole in it and not making eye contact. He was hearing Diego’s words but they weren’t really sinking in. He still just could not wrap his head around Diego not thinking less of him for what he’d done. 

“Hey, look at me,” Diego said, then took his hand. Klaus reluctantly looked at him, and he could see the sincerity in his eyes, so he tried to really listen and let himself believe it. “I love you, Klaus. Not _in spite_ of the sex work, I’ve always known that about you and it’s always been okay with me. I like all of you, even the parts that are complicated and a little messy. You’re not tainted, regardless of what the results are, okay?”

“Okay,” Klaus whispered, then took his shaking hand away so he could wipe more tears away and then hand Diego the envelope. “Will you open it? I just… I can’t.”

“Sure,” Diego said, taking the envelope and then leaning over to give him a quick kiss on the temple.

“Wait,” Klaus said, then groaned and squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds. “It’s going to say I have herpes but it’s just the cold sore kind, it’s not like dick herpes. Ugh, unless it is now. Fuck.”

“It’s okay, I took health class, I know the difference between the simplexes.”

“Okay, but I didn’t get that from working either, I have had cold sores like a few times a year for as long as I can remember so I probably got them from… from my mom or something. Or maybe the first foster family that I don’t remember, just getting kissed from someone with a cold sore is-”

“Klaus, I know, it’s _okay._ You’re still not gross, just breathe,” Diego said, already starting to open the envelope. 

Klaus couldn’t stand it. He held his hands over his ears, squeezed his eyes shut and leaned forward over his crossed legs. There was just no way he could get this lucky for this long, it had to catch up with him sooner or later. He’d had plenty of STIs but never any that couldn’t be cured, but the same could not be said for many of the girls he worked with. He’d sat next to at least half a dozen of them while they opened their results, held them while they cried, watched them deteriorate and… 

“Hey,” Diego said, but Klaus couldn’t hear him with his ears covered and all the blood pounding in his veins. Then he felt Diego’s hand rubbing his back. Oh god, that was probably bad, too. Already consoling him because he was going to die. Then Diego reached out and pulled one of Klaus’ hands off his ears and held it again. “Sit up, Klaus. It’s okay.”

“That’s impossible,” Klaus whined, but he lean back up anyway, trying to be brave enough to face the consequences of his own stupid, stupid behavior.

“You don’t have anything scary, just something I’m not sure I’ve heard of,” Diego said, attempting to sound it out but butchering it. “Trich-trichomono-”

“Oh, trichomoniasis,” Klaus said, letting out a small laugh of relief even though tears were still streaking down his cheeks. He took the paper and stared at it, going down the list just in case Diego missed something. “I can’t believe my dick doesn’t stink. Trich normally gives you funky gential cheese.”

“ _Ew,_ ” Diego said impulsively with a small shudder, but Klaus couldn’t even blame him. “Sorry, that’s just a fucking terrible phrase. This should help prevent that.”

Diego handed him a thin, rectangle sleeve made out of cardboard with a blister pack of antibiotics inside that must have also been in the envelope. Klaus took it and slid the silver blister pack out, and there were seven small yellow pills with instructions to take one a day until they were gone. Okay, he could handle that. Probably. Taking medication had never been something he was good at remembering, but this was super important and he wasn’t going to fuck that up. 

“I can’t believe that’s it,” Klaus said, picking up the paper to read again as if he missed something too. 

“Believe it. You’re just lucky, apparently,” Diego said, rubbing his back again. “Do you want to start it now? I can go get you a glass of water from the bathroom.”

“No, I’ll wait until the morning so I can try to make it a habit when I first wake up,” Klaus said, still sniffling as he wiped some tears on his knuckles. 

“Why are you still upset? It’s going to be okay,” Diego said, soft and attentive as ever. Bless him, so sweet. Klaus could hardly handle it sometimes.

“I know it’s just,” Klaus started, sniffing hard and drying his eyes more deliberately with both hands. “Ever since I’ve been sober I’ve been feeling things a lot stronger than when I was just numb and doped up all the time. Everything makes me cry and sometimes memories I’ve forced down with drugs and repression pop up out of nowhere and fuck me up all over again like they are fresh. And it’s just getting worse the longer I’m clean. Things keep coming back to me and I can’t fucking stop, I hate it.”

“Are they about the foster family you haven’t told me about? The Clines?” Diego asked. Klaus’ blood ran cold and he stared at him with fear in his eyes, and Diego must have realized he made a mistake because he gasped. “Shit, sorry, you don’t have to tell me! I was just guessing. I’m sorry, I’ve just been curious since I heard you talking to Five about them and I didn’t know any of those things about you.”

Klaus stared at him without breathing for a few more seconds, then swallowed hard before speaking. “Telling you about it isn’t going to make either of us feel any better.”

“Yeah, o-okay, I totally get that. I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking. You definitely don’t owe me any explanation,” Diego said, reaching over to hold Klaus’ hand again, but Klaus pulled it away, just like he did when Diego tried to hold his hand in Five’s ‘office.’ 

“I’m going to go take a bath, I still smell like chlorine. We have to meet Allison for dinner in a few hours, anyway,” Klaus said flatly, standing up and setting the letter and medicine on the nightstand. 

“Klaus, God, _I’m sorry,_ ” Diego said, but Klaus wasn’t listening.

As soon as the bathroom door shut behind him, Klaus leaned his back against it and covered his face. He was too stunned to even cry, because he was still reeling from being blind-sided by that question. Why did Diego even ask that way? There were so many better ways he could have brought it up without zeroing in on the trauma in particular, especially when Klaus was already opening up about something else difficult. And of course Diego wasn’t exactly wrong, memories from his days at the Cline’s were just one flavor of at least 50 different types of horrible memories he’d drowned in liquor and smack, but that didn’t make it any easier to be asked about it so point blank. On the other hand, Klaus had done the same thing to him on many occasions, just directly asked the hard questions, and… Diego was always honest and vulnerable and told him the truth, no matter how hard it was. Why shouldn’t he do the same?

The worst part was that Klaus _wanted_ to tell him; he _loves_ Diego, he didn’t want to keep any secrets from him… but some things just couldn’t be said. Not now, maybe not ever. And that made the tears kick back in again, because it broke his heart to shut Diego out like that. But what would he even say? The details didn’t just make that family look bad, they made Klaus look fucking _stupid_ and naive and fucked up, too. It was more upsetting than anything else Diego already knew, and Klaus just couldn’t stand him thinking any worse of him than he probably already did. Diego liked to act like nothing Klaus does is ‘that bad,’ or that he’s fine with everything he does know, but Klaus still didn’t believe it. He judged _himself_ for the life he’d led up until the last few weeks, and Diego did too whether he admitted it or not. Klaus was just an irredeemable, stupid fuck-up that… that let a grown man get away with truly despicable things, because he wanted to be loved by a parental figure _so_ damn bad. _Pathetic_. 

Klaus felt himself slipping into a legitimate panic attack about it, but he refused to let himself. He dashed over to the jacuzzi tub and turned on the water with a shaky hand, hoping the harsh sound of the rushing tap would drown out his thoughts. As the tub filled he stripped for the millionth time that day, but this was the first time he’d felt exposed despite nobody being in there with him. While he was trying on clothes with Allison he’d been completely in another headspace, but this was different, and all he could do was stare at his naked body in the mirrors over the sinks. That wasn’t helping, since he knew what every scar was from, knew every degrading thing that had been done to that body, and the dysphoria was just piling on his already troubled mind.

At least when he was under the water he couldn’t see himself, so he climbed in the few inches of water in the tub and sat down in the middle instead of on the seats, just letting the water gradually swallow him up. As soon as the water filled enough he reached over and slapped the button for the jets, making it even louder in there as the motor and water pressure kicked on. It still wasn’t loud enough to drown out his thoughts, but it was at least loud enough that Diego couldn’t hear him crying his heart out. 

_Stop, stop, stop! Stop thinking about it! The drugs would stop it. No! No, no, no. God, please just stop!_

But it was too late, he couldn’t stop the memories or the shame attached to them, he was fucked. He was just a little kid, he didn’t know… _you did know. Maybe not a first, but you didn’t stop it. You liked it. You liked feeling special. You begged for it._

“Nooo,” Klaus whined, covering his ears even though it was coming from inside his own head, his own mind taunting him with guilt and humiliation like no other kind in his life. That little voice whispering in his ear like a cruel ghost reminding him just how fucked up he truly was. He wanted to tear his skin off, still feeling phantom touches on his body even 13 years later. 

_He’s dead, Klaus. He can’t touch you anymore, he can’t hurt you if he’s dead. But that’s your fault, too, isn’t it? Don’t forget how you prayed to God for him to die every day. You got your wish, huh?_

Klaus groaned and shook his head. “Just shut up, please shut up! Jesus fucking Christ!”

But he knew it wouldn’t stop. All he could do was submit to the memories and let them play out, relive every time his bedroom door opened in the middle of the night for years, every time he felt that weight of another person sitting on his bed in the dark. When this happened before Klaus could just shoot up or swallow a handful of pills, he would ‘get well’ enough to keep those thoughts buried deep. He couldn’t do that now, and it was easily the most terrifying thing about the reality of permanent sobriety. That, and the reality that Diego was _going_ to find out eventually. 

Maybe he should just tell him? Rip the bandaid off now so that Diego could just leave him if he wanted to, like he should, because who could love the person that willingly participated in his own abuse? At least that way Klaus could get high again.

 _No!_ No, he couldn’t tell Diego, because losing him would hurt even worse than this. He would just suffer in silence, let the memories brutalize him and hope that someday that little voice would fuck off. Yeah right, like he could ever be normal, like he could ever just forget and move on and be happy. But he still had to tell Diego something. Klaus had freaked out in front of him after hearing just the family name, there was no way Diego wouldn’t expect some kind of explanation even though he said Klaus didn’t need to give him one. God, he was probably sitting out there feeling guilty, too, even though he shouldn’t. Or maybe he should just a little, because it’s not like Klaus didn’t tell him everything else, why did he have to ask about _this?_ Obviously Klaus didn’t mention his time with that family for a _reason_. 

But Klaus shook that thought out of his head too, because he knew Diego well enough to know that he would never ask if he knew it would hurt Klaus this way. He would never purposely trigger someone that had a similar kind of post traumatic stress, because he knew what that was like. That’s why Klaus understood him so well, too, because he knew what traumatic memories could do to a person. God, he loved Diego so much. Klaus really felt like he’d met the perfect person to fall in love with, someone that could love him in spite of his flaws and… hopefully in spite of this. He would tell Diego someday, because he deserved to know, but not now. Klaus’ sobriety was too fragile, and giving Diego the details, having to say out loud what he went though; it would completely destroy him at the moment. 

_Diego will understand,_ Klaus kept telling himself, and he realized that that sentiment, coupled with just thinking about loving Diego in general was… it was bringing Klaus out of the panic attack. He stayed on that train of thought, forcing himself to bring up the sweet memories of them in the flower field, of Diego swallowing his fear and admitting his love for Klaus out loud, of all the times he held Klaus when he felt bad even when Diego didn’t know what was wrong. Even thinking of their rocky start made the corners of Klaus’ mouth perk up through the tears, because right from the beginning Diego was wonderful, even if he was a bit prickly and hard to get to know at first. Klaus sighed and hugged his knees to his chest, letting himself think about how far they’d come, how much they’ve changed together since that first night. The thought made his heart feel warm, and loved, even if it was hard to believe sometimes.

It was at least enough of a distraction for him to finish his bath, even using some of the sparkly bath gel from the soap basket that also made him smile. By the time he got out, dried his hair and wrapped himself in a fresh, fluffy white robe, he knew he was going to at least be _okay._ Everything was going to be okay, and he was ready to give Diego the smallest of explanations. When he stepped back out into the room Diego was sitting in the same place, covering his face and looking just as guilty as Klaus thought he might be. 

“Hey, sorry I-” he started, but Diego looked up at the sound of his voice and interrupted him.

“Klaus, I’m so fucking sorry, I didn’t know asking was going to upset you,” he said, standing up and closing the distance between them in a few quick strides. He held the back of Klaus’ arm with one hand and cupped his cheek with the other. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, babe, I’m fine,” Klaus said, but Diego pulled him into a hug, which he accepted. Just being held this tight and sincere was making him feel emotional again so he only let the moment linger for a few seconds, then pulled back. “You didn’t do anything wrong, alright? I can’t tell you the details, but you deserve to know that what happened all those years ago was bad enough that I’m still not over it. And I promise I will tell you someday but just… not right now, okay?”

“Okay, of course, you never have to tell me unless you’re ready,” Diego said, sliding his hand down the back of Klaus’ arm until he found his hand and held on to it. “I’ve got messed up prison shit I’ll never be able to explain to you, too. But it’s all in the past, and that’s not who I am anymore, and I don’t think you’re the same person either. I love who you are right now, regardless of how you got here.”

“You’re so sweet, I don’t deserve you,” Klaus said, leaning forward just enough to kiss Diego’s cheek. When he leaned back again he saw the pile of clothes on the bed over Diego’s shoulder, reminding him of their dinner with Allison and he sighed so hard his lips fluttered. There was no way he could turn on the cheerful, bubbly attitude he was going to need for that right now. “Hey, you’re not going to be upset if we miss out on that steak dinner, are you?”

“God, no,” Diego said, sighing with relief. “I was hoping you would let me off the hook. I can not go down there and stare Allison in the face after I just beat the shit out of her husband this morning.”

Klaus accidentally laughed but tried to reel it in because he knew Diego was actually ashamed of that, but it was still a little funny. “Yeah let’s let that marinate overnight and see if she hates us in the morning before we share a dinner table with her.”

“The only problem with that is I am actually getting hungry, but maybe we can sneak down later and raid the kitchen,” Diego said, and Klaus couldn’t stop himself from giggling then.

“I’m such a bad influence on you. This morning you were afraid of getting yelled at for taking a piece of fruit,” Klaus said, letting his chest lean into Diego’s before kissing his cheek again. Just because. 

“Well that was before I knew Luther was even shittier than I could have imagined. If he can’t even care enough to attend our mom’s funeral, I don’t care if he’s mad at me for eating a bologna sandwich without asking.”

“That’s the spirit,” Klaus said with a smirk, and he felt some leftover tension release from his shoulders.

“Go get comfy on the couch and we can watch something, I’ll call Allison and tell her we can’t make it,” Diego said, squeezing Klaus’ hand and stepping back. Klaus nodded. A night in sounded nice, even though they already did that last night. Really all he needed was Diego, anyway. 

Before he sat on the loveseat Klaus picked up a pair of soft black leggings with white stars on them he’d gotten from Allison and slipped them on under the robe. He knew it would make Diego feel better if he wasn’t just sitting there naked under a robe, even if he didn’t say anything. He was just settling down on the couch when he heard Diego get ahold of Sylvia. 

“Hi, this is the right number to call, right? You said call if we needed anything? Okay good, um, is Allison near you by any chance? Oh okay, sure,” Diego said, then looked up at Klaus from where he was standing next to the phone on his side of the bed. He covered the mouthpiece and whispered ‘she’s going to get her,’ as if Klaus was part of this conversation. He just nodded and smiled, then Diego turned his attention back to the phone as Allison must have picked up the line. “Hi, yeah I’m good, thanks uh- I’m sorry but Klaus and I are going to stay in tonight. He said we were supposed to- oh, no he’s not sick, we’re just uh… we need to discuss some things and- Oh, actually yeah, that would be perfect. Thank you. Okay cool, thank you. Yeah, we’ll be there. I’ll tell him. Goodnight.”

Klaus picked up the remote and turned on the TV as Diego hung up the phone, trying not to look like he was eavesdropping. He turned on the guide channel and watched the movie and show titles scroll as Diego walked over and sat next to him on the couch. He immediately put his arm around Klaus, pulling him close. 

“So she wasn’t mad?” Klaus asked, letting himself get settled against Diego with his feet tucked up under him on the couch.

“No, she said Luther was working late tonight, anyway, and that she would just reschedule for tomorrow,” Diego said. 

“Okay, good. I know she was looking forward to it so I feel bad,” Klaus said, then yawned. He wasn’t sleepy necessarily, just worn out from stressing so hard earlier.

“No, don’t feel bad, she didn’t sound upset, I promise,” Diego said. “She’s also going to send up something else to eat in a couple hours so we don’t have to go down there.”

“Aww, she’s so great, I love her,” Klaus said, holding a hand over his heart. 

“I know, you love anyone that’s nice to you,” Diego said just like before, but not with any trace of insult. 

“You weren’t very nice to me at first but I still love you,” Klaus said, raising his eyebrows and smirking at him. Diego frowned and opened his mouth but closed it again as he thought about his response for a few extra seconds. 

“I’m sorry for that, but I’m glad you gave me a chance to figure out how to be kinder,” Diego said, then quickly added. “You did ask a lot of extremely personal questions when I didn’t even know you, though, in my defense.”

“I did, and look how that worked out for me,” Klaus said, still smirking as he leaned over, and then pursed his lips for Diego to meet him the rest of the way. 

Klaus was just expecting a quick peck, but instead Diego closed the distance enthusiastically and cupped his jaw, thumb pressed softly against his chin to tilt his face closer. Fuck, it was so good. Diego gave him several slow, sexy kisses that left his lips tingling and his heart fluttering. Absolutely rude that Diego could kiss him like that and then pull back like that wasn’t exactly how to turn him on, but Klaus knew it was for the best. Probably for both of them, at the moment. One of these days though, kissing him like that was gonna get Diego the best head ever. Klaus could dream, even if he knew that was nowhere near close to happening.

“So what are we watching?” Diego asked, clearing his throat and focusing on the TV, but Klaus could see the blush on his cheeks and tips of his ears. He smiled up at Diego for a few extra seconds, just admiring him, and then turned his attention to the TV, too. 

“How do you feel about Halloween movies? Tomorrow is October so they are kicking off a bunch of Halloween movie marathons,” Klaus said, hovering on the channel that was going to start Hocus Pocus shortly.

“Halloween movies are good, just no virgin sacrifice jokes,” Diego said, trying not to smile but Klaus could see him fighting it, and he was happy that Diego could poke fun at himself. 

“I make no promises,” Klaus said, choosing the channel and settling in for a long, cozy evening in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Happy holidays! I hope you're having a good day, whatever you do or don't celebrate ^_^
> 
> \- There will be a mini hiatus because I suddenly have to work 2 weeks in a row with no days off, so please be patient! Next chapter will be posted January 7th in the new year!
> 
> \- P.S. next chapter is Klaus' birthday! ♥


	24. The Fool: Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** sorry for the delay!!!!  
> ** I don't think there's any important content warnings this chapter so read at ease <3

_** October 1st, 2015, 6:32AM ** _

When the moon alarm clock Diego set went off, he was nowhere near ready to get out of bed yet. He was sleeping so well, his arm wrapped snugly around Klaus’ waist and dreaming about something nice for once, but the memory filtered away like smoke through his fingers when he tried to remember what it was about. He sighed and leaned forward to kiss Klaus’ hair, then let him go so he could roll over and turn the wretched alarm off. While he was rubbing the sleep out of his eyes he remembered what day it was and smiled to himself in the dark. Klaus’ birthday. 

It made his heart beat faster and warmer just thinking of how happy he was going to make Klaus’ later, and the feeling was so good it helped him drag himself out of bed. They had spent the whole night before watching older Halloween movies, until past midnight, and Diego expected Klaus to mention his birthday at least once, but he never did. Maybe he wanted to see if Diego would remember on his own, or maybe he didn’t think it was important enough to mention - but either way, Diego was going to surprise him because _it is_ important, and there was no way Klaus was expecting a present and a cake.

While he shaved, brushed his teeth and combed his hair Diego tried to come up with a plan on how to keep Klaus occupied while he made the cake, or it wouldn’t be a surprise. The only way was if he could find Allison while Klaus was still sleeping and have her help keep him distracted while Diego was in the kitchen.That was also provided that Allison didn’t hate his fucking guts now, since there’s no doubt she saw Luther’s face last night. God, just thinking of that knocked Diego’s mood down a few pegs. 

That, and also knowing that he was headed to see a physical therapist who was going to want to _touch_ him. Ugh, it made him shudder involuntarily just thinking about it. He tried to get over himself, though, because he knew he needed at least this much help. There was no way he was having fucking nerve surgery, so this was his only hope of ever regaining the mobility and strength in his right arm and hand. He had to just suck it up and cooperate to the best of his ability, even if it sucked ass, which it definitely was going to. 

Before he walked out he found the sheet of paper that had his physical therapy information on it, folded it in half and took the purple pen tucked in Klaus’ journal on his side of the bed. ‘ _Don’t forget to take your medicine. I’ll meet you back here around noon if you wander off. I love you._ ’ he scribbled on the back of the paper, then he set the note under the box of medicine for Klaus to find when he woke up. He would fill a glass of water too, but he knew Klaus would be paranoid about it being dusty or stale or whatever other strange excuse he had, so this would be enough.

Diego was running a little behind, but thankfully the gym where he was supposed to meet the therapist was on the same floor. He jogged down the long hallway, passing the library before he found the door to the gym. The door was open, and there was a darker skinned man with black-framed glasses, a trimmed beard, white t-shirt and black basketball shorts standing next to one of the weight machines by the door. He was writing something on a clipboard, but he looked up when Diego walked in and smiled. 

“Good morning, Diego,” the man said, but Diego was busy marveling at the size of this gym, with every piece of work-out equipment he could even think of scattered around the room. It looked like a whole gym business could be run out of here, with motivational posters on the walls and everything, except for the far right wall, which was made of mirrors. Then his brain caught up and he realized he was being spoken to, so he cleared his throat and tried to act like he wasn’t actually terrified of this encounter. 

“Morning,” he said, trying to make the uncomfortable eye contact he knew was necessary when you first meet someone. At least he looked nice, but Diego had to wonder exactly how much this guy knew about his life. Maybe he wouldn’t be so nice if he knew, but on the other hand, Luther had to give him some reason for needing off-the-books therapy. 

“My name is Chuck Beeman, and I’ll be your therapist for the next few weeks. Have a seat and we can get started.” he said, then leaned down to pat the black bench of the weight machine he was standing next to. Diego did as he was told, walking over and swinging his leg over the bench to sit down. “You look nervous, but you don’t have to be. I’m not going to hurt you, at least not today.”

“Oh, well that’s comforting,” Diego said sarcastically. It was hard to contain the sarcasm without at least having a cup of coffee first, but that wasn’t an option.

“How tall are you?” Chuck asked. 

“Six foot,” Diego lied. It was only a small lie, he was more like five-eleven and a half, but what’s a half inch? Nothing. 

“What do you weigh?”

“Uhhh, I have no idea. Like maybe 200 or a little less?” Diego said, but that may be a lie, too. Ever since him and Klaus left Philadelphia he’d been eating shitty fast food, tons of carbs and also sitting around a hell of a lot more than he was before. He knew he was putting on a little weight but he’d been trying very diligently to ignore it until this moment. “Just go with 200.”

“Good enough,” Chuck said, then jotted it down on his clipboard. “You look like you’re in great condition other than the injury, so that’s good. I take it you’re no stranger to fitness activities, so you’ll be comfortable with a lot of the things I’ll be having you do. How long ago did you get shot?”

“It was September 1st, so exactly a month.”

“And you had no medical attention until a few days ago, right? How did you get the bullet out?” Chuck asked, walking around the bench to Diego’s right side and crouching down to examine his arm. When he reached his hand out to lift the t-shirt sleeve Diego held his breath instead of answering. He had to be okay with this man touching him, he _had_ to be. “Oh, I see, it went right through. Did Dr. Shaplin say if there was any shrapnel left in the wound?”

“There wasn’t, it blew straight through and buried in the headboard behind me,” Diego said, and now he was upset for a different reason. Thinking about that night made him even more anxious than letting a stranger touch his arm. He could still hear the sound of his own flesh and muscle being pierced right next to his ear as he had lifted his arm to shield his face.

“How did you stop the bleeding?” he asked next, and Diego swallowed hard and closed his eyes. He could hardly remember anything about Klaus dressing his wound other than it hurt so fucking much he’d wished the bullet had hit his heart instead in that moment.

“Klaus tied it off with a pillowcase until the bleeding slowed,” Diego finally said, and he could feel Chuck’s eyes studying his face now instead of his arm, even without seeing him.

“And how long was it left on,” Chuck asked, and that was just too many questions about something that upset him too much. Diego was feeling cornered and more anxious than ever. 

“Fuck, I don’t know! I was busy bleeding half to death the whole time, I wasn’t looking at a clock! What are you, a cop?” he snapped, opening his eyes to glare at Chuck now. He absolutely hated being grilled for information, even if he knew Chuck needed it.

“Used to be,” Chuck said with the same relaxed tone, then lifted the bottom of his t-shirt up to show Diego his stomach. There were three gunshot wound scars on the left side trailing down from his ribs to his hip, which Diego was definitely not expecting. “I’m not asking as a cop, though. I’m asking as your therapist. I understand why this is hard to talk about, but I just want to know how to help you, man.”

Diego nodded and tried to calm himself, because at least Chuck knew what he’s been through from personal experience, but trusting a cop was a hard sell for him. Why the hell would a former cop want to help a criminal? What’s in it for him? Did he have ulterior motives? Why would Luther pick _him_ for this job? _Dude, just stop,_ Diego scolded himself. He knew he needed the help and this was the only guy around that could, so there was no point in picking apart Chuck’s reasons for being here.

“I think it was on for about two hours, maybe a little less, but either way I think it was too long,” Diego said, resigning himself to letting yet another person know all his business. 

“Could have been, but two hours shouldn’t have given you this kind of damage. I’m still betting it was the bullet,” Chuck said, then set his clipboard on the bench in front of Diego. “Tell me in your own words what feeling you have or don’t have left.”

“The last two fingers are basically dead. I can feel some vague pressure if I pinch the skin really hard, but no pain, other than when there’s random shooting pains that start from the wound down the rest of my arm,” Diego explained, holding his arm out and touching the places he was talking about. “The other three fingers are tingly, like pins and needles, all the time. The underside of my forearm also tingles and burns sometimes like I bashed my elbow on something, and then it just fucking hurts around my bicep if I flex or… or punch something. Still more in the back than the front.”

“Hmm, yeah those exit wounds are a bitch. It definitely sounds like your ulnar nerve got nicked, but not severed, so that’s good at least,” Chuck said, then touched the back of Diego’s arm and trailed his finger down toward his elbow. Diego tried really hard to be cool about it, especially because he could hardly feel it, but he most certainly flinched, anyway. “That nerve runs right down the line of numbness you’ve mentioned into the ring and pinky finger, and controls your fine movements. I assume you’ve been having trouble gripping things, holding pens, shaving, those types of things, right?”

Diego nodded. He’d already heard most of this from the surgeon, but he didn’t want to keep being rude and interrupt him. 

“I think with time you will at least get a good amount of your fine motor skills back, and hopefully some feeling, but it’s going to be a long road,” Chuck said, then walked over to his duffle bag behind the weight machine that Diego couldn’t see. When he walked back over he was holding a stretchy, yellow rubber strap, a yellow stress ball, a red hand weight, and a metal tool that Diego had never seen before but it looked like a protractor or some other device to measure things. “I’m going to measure your range of motion first, and then from there we’re just going to do some simple strength and stretching exercises and that will be it for today. You’ll be surprised how sore you are just from these simple tasks. And I would also suggest not punching anything for quite some time, that will certainly set you back.”

“What is that?” Diego asked, pointing at the tool in Chuck’s hands while he set the other things on the bench between Diego’s knees. He was definitely curious, but he was also trying to distract himself from the guilt he felt about punching Luther now that it had indirectly come up. He hadn’t told Klaus, but the shooting pains had increased since that happened, so he probably already set himself back at this point.

“It’s a goniometer. It helps me measure how well your joints move,” Chuck said, demonstrating how the two arms of the tool moved together on a wheel. Then he looked Diego in the eyes and gave him a serious, concerned expression. “So, I can tell you don’t want me to touch you, and I won’t for too long, but for the next five minutes or so I’m going to have to move your arm around a lot. Is that going to be alright?”

Diego nodded. He could do this, it would be fine. He was a grown ass man and this was an important medical encounter, he had to just get through it. Only a few minutes.

“Alright, great. After that’s over I’ll just be observing you while you use the other tools, no other contact,” Chuck said. He held out his right hand for a handshake so Diego would have to use his right hand too. “I want you to squeeze my hand as hard as you can, just so I know what kind of strength you still have left. You won’t hurt me.”

Once they shook hands Diego felt better, and it certainly helped that Chuck seemed to understand his boundary issues better than others. Having someone bend and flex his arm and fingers wasn’t pleasant, but he got through it, and then after that Diego actually… kinda got into it. He liked fitness training, even the simple stuff like lifting a weight and stretching with the strap. Especially since he knew this was going to help him in the long run, even if it was uncomfortable and a little painful in the short term. That, and he found himself not minding Chuck’s company once they moved away from the questions and touching. He still asked Diego some questions while they were doing the exercises, but they didn’t feel as cornering while Diego was busying himself with other things and not being directly interrogated. Maybe Chuck figured that out, too. Smart cop, maybe he was a detective?

When it was over Diego realized he didn’t want to stop yet. It felt good having a chance to work on his body, but he had other things to do today. Next time though, he was going to hit that treadmill after therapy for like two whole hours. Maybe do some crunches and whatever else he could do to get the blood flowing without hurting himself.

“I’ll see you at the same time, two days from now,” Chuck said, packing up his things in the duffle bag and giving Diego a little wave as he left. 

It was quite a trek down to the kitchen from where he was, so he decided to get a bit of a jog in since he was still a little jazzed up from a surprisingly good therapy session. There was rarely anyone wandering the halls around here, so he knew he wasn’t going to disturb anyone by thundering down the hallway. Hopefully Klaus hadn’t gone down to the kitchen, because that would make it much more difficult to get him to go away for a while. 

“Diego?” he heard Allison call from behind him just before he made it to the kitchen. He halted and turned around, and he saw her poking her head out of a door he’d just passed. She stepped out to walk up to him, in her pajamas again just like yesterday morning, except this time they were pink and silky.

“Hey, I was hoping I would run into you,” he said, but he was mostly busy studying her expression to see if she was pissed off at him. She padded up to him in her bare feet, smiling as brightly as ever. How did she not hate him now?

“Same,” she said, then yawned behind her hand right as she stopped in front of him. “Sorry, I slept like shit. What did you need?”

“Uh- I w-... I was just wondering if you could distract Klaus this morning so I could make that cake,” he said, trying to remain calm, but he still felt like she was going to yell at him for some reason. 

“Yeah, that should be no problem. I’m having the maintenance guy get the Halloween decorations from the basement right now, actually. Does Klaus like to decorate?” Allison asked, absolutely zero trace of hidden anger or resentment in her voice or body language. So weird, Diego didn’t know how to handle it.

“You know what, I don’t know for sure, but based on everything else I know about him, I’m going to say he would absolutely love to help you decorate,” Diego said, feeling himself smirk involuntarily just thinking about Klaus having fun with spooky decorations. “We watched a few Halloween movies last night, it’s no doubt his favorite holiday.”

“Aww, yeah? That actually isn’t that surprising, is it?” she said, nodding and smiling too. “I’m going to make some easy breakfast and I’ll take it up to him. There’s already coffee brewing in there, if you want some.”

“God, yes,” Diego said, realizing he could actually already smell it from here. “Wait, you said you hoped to run into me too?”

“Oh, right. Luther wanted me to tell you that your first tattoo removal appointment is tomorrow morning. Hazel will pick you up at 8am,” she said, then yawned again.

“ _Already?_ ” Diego said, frowning at the thought. He wasn’t emotionally prepared for that yet. “I thought Luther said it would be a few days.”

“I think he’s eager to get you out of here after you busted up his face yesterday,” she said with a shrug, like she didn’t actually care; another thing Diego wasn’t prepared for.

“Uh- I’m… Allison, I’m sorry, I just-”

“Save it, I do not care,” Allison said, waving her hand. Diego knew his shocked face would have been comical in a different situation. “That’s between you two, and I know it’s a lot more complicated and deep than just a macho fist fight. Luther can handle himself if he felt like he was in danger, I’m not worried.”

“Still, I shouldn’t have done that. I don’t want to be that guy anymore,” Diego said, shaking his head and looking at the ground. Allison nodded but he didn’t see it.

“I believe you. Luther does too, and he also knows he did you wrong. That’s why your face doesn’t look the same as his right now,” Allison said, then reached out to pat his arm. He didn’t want her to touch him, but he let it happen because jerking away would be rude, especially while she was trying to be understanding. He looked up at her face and she looked sympathetic, which was also annoying. Still preferable to anger, though, so Diego was still thankful. “You’re not a bad guy, Diego. You just need to offer other people the same gentle kindness you give to Klaus, even when they haven’t been kind to you.”

“That sounds like I’m supposed to just be a doormat. At least Klaus deserves to have people be good to him,” Diego said, folding his arms so Allison’s hand fell back to her side. He was definitely finished with this conversation. He didn’t feel like analyzing his anger issues with anyone, let alone someone he hardly knew in the middle of the hallway, before coffee no less. She did have a similar effect on him as Klaus, though, getting him to talk a little freer than he does with most people.

“Everyone deserves kindness, even Luther. He’s a good man too, Diego, and I hope you guys can find the time to talk again without fists this time. I promise, he’s the kindest, sweetest man I know and you guys have more in common than you think,” Allison said, then cleared her throat dismissively to reroute the conversation. She must have been able to see by the look on Diego’s face that he was over it too. “Alright, go make that cake. Walt will be down in about 40 minutes to prep lunch for the rest of the employees, if you need help finding anything he can show you where things are.”

“Thank you for your help and… your faith in me,” he said, surprising even himself with the last part. He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but there it was. He was so used to everyone acting like he was a powder keg, it was nice to hear someone acknowledge that he could transcend that. She smiled and nodded, then gestured toward the kitchen door so she could follow him in. 

Allison showed Diego the cupboards with all the baking dishes and utensils, made herself and Klaus some eggs and toast, then left to go keep him occupied. Diego set out all the things he needed for a basic vanilla cake, plus a jar of maraschino cherries. He had no idea how to make this cake, but he figured it shouldn’t be too hard, it was just a vanilla cake with cherries and cherry juice, right? Klaus said it was his favorite, Diego was _going_ to make it happen. 

He was so excited to use a huge decked out kitchen with all the cool stuff he had never used before, like a Kitchenaid mixer? Amazing. Who knew mixing could be that easy, absolutely a life saver with his current injury, too. He quickly got into the swing of cooking again, enjoying himself in a way he hadn’t since they’d arrived in Seattle. He was just adding the chopped up cherries to the cake batter when he heard someone shuffle in the kitchen behind him. 

“Oh, ‘morning,” a man said loudly over the mixer motor, making Diego jump so hard he almost dropped the glass bowl. He looked over his shoulder to see an elderly white man in all white clothes and a black apron walking toward him. Diego turned off the mixer and wiped the powdered sugar off his hand so he could offer a handshake to this person.

“Hey, sorry if I’m in the way,” Diego said, shaking the man’s hand firmly. “I’m Diego.”

“Yeah, I know who ya are,” the man said, nodding. “I’m Walt. Been workin’ in this kitchen for the last 23 years.”

“Did you know my mom?” Diego blurted out before he thought it through. He had to stick with it now, though. “Her name was Grace.”

“Yes, I remember her. She’s the one that hired me. Nice girl. Too pretty for Reginald, but she loved him, I guess,” Walt said, then gestured to the mixer. “What are ya makin’?”

“Um, just a cherry chip cake for my… for my boyfriend’s birthday,” Diego said, committing to calling Klaus that even when he wasn’t around. He was just nervous how this old man would take that information. Walt just nodded and looked into the bowl. 

“Needs more egg yolk or that cake’s gonna be dry as dog shit on asphalt,” he said, grabbing the egg carton on the counter and handing it to Diego. He was torn between being offended and being amused, because who walks up to someone cooking and says something like that? “Pretty shade of pink, though.”

“... thanks,” Diego said, taking the egg carton even though he had no intention of adding more. He knew how to make a moist cake, thank you very much. 

Thankfully Walt had no intention of standing there watching him as he wandered over to the fridge and took out two big glass bowls of some kind of white dough. Diego appreciated that they guy wasn’t a big talker, both of them working in silence for a while. He finished mixing the cake, greased the three circle cake tins and then poured the batter in them. After he slid them in the oven Walt appeared at his side. 

“You want to help me while you wait for that to bake?” he asked, and Diego wanted to do no such thing, but he had nothing else to do for the next 35-40 minutes other than make frosting but that would only take minutes with that fancy mixer.

“Alright, what do you need?”

“I’m makin’ pizza pockets, I need you to chop some meat and vegetables while I make pizza sauce,” Walt said, staring at Diego in the face for the first time. He had blue eyes, but one of them had a white cataract starting to form over it, his facial hair was sparse and white like his hair, and Diego thought he spotted a couple broken teeth on the bottom, too. He had to wonder about this guy’s history, but he wasn’t about to ask, in case that was rude. He didn’t know how to talk to people like a normal person, so he just nodded.

“Sure, I can do that,” Diego said, then leaned forward and set the timer on the oven so he didn’t forget about it while he was distracted. 

He made quick work of chopping all the toppings; pepperoni, italian sausage, ham, fresh mushrooms, green peppers, onions and olives all in little piles on a giant wooden cutting board. The whole kitchen smelled like sweet cake and sour tomato sauce, not a great combination but it was making Diego hungry, anyway. He helped himself with the scraps of ham that were a little too fatty for pizza toppings, and munched on the edges of the green pepper stems with pieces of pepper still on them. Not a fantastic breakfast, but he had every intention of eating one of these pizza pockets when they were done, even though Walt hadn’t invited him to yet. 

“Oh, those look really good, all evenly chopped. Nice job, kid,” Walt said as he walked over to get the cutting board. Diego tried not to act too proud, but he couldn’t deny that made him feel good to hear. At least he could do something right in this professional chef’s eyes. 

“Thank you,” Diego said, handing the cutting board to the old man just as the oven timer chimed. Perfect timing. “Hey, do you have one of those round cake dishes that are like, elevated? I’m not exactly sure what they are called. A platter?”

“Cake stand? Yeah we’ve got plenty. You want pink glass to match the cake?” Walt asked, setting the cutting board down to bend over and look in the cupboard conveniently right in front of him. “Or we have clear glass, or opaque white, or green glass.”

“I think he would like the pink one, it will look good with the cherries on top, too,” Diego said while he slid each cake tin out of the oven with both hands in oven mitts, careful not to drop them with his weak grip.

While the cakes cooled Diego made the cream cheese frosting, which he’d also never made before. It tasted amazing when he tried it, though, so he thought he did a good job, if he did say so himself. After that was finished he helped Walt stuff the pizza pockets, and even dared to ask if he could make a couple for himself and Klaus. 

“Sure, there’s plenty of stuff there. I’ll be glad the dough won’t go to waste,” Walt said, then watched Diego assemble a meatless pizza pocket for himself, and a mushroom, onion and pepperoni one for Klaus. “I won’t be bakin’ them for a little while though, employee lunch isn’t ‘til 11:30, so you’ll have to swing back by.”

“No problem, this was the only thing I had left to do today, anyway,” Diego said, adding his and Klaus’ pockets to the flat stone tray that he assumed Walt was going to stick in the wood burning oven that was built into the far left wall. Those were so cool, he would like to make something in there someday, too. Like bread, or pizza, or a casserole. _God,_ he’s like a middle aged housewife, wasn’t he? Embarrassing.

“You want me to make y’all some homemade cherry ice cream to go with that cake?” Walt asked while Diego was busy frosting the three layer cake with white cream cheese frosting. 

“Uh, yeah, that would be great, if it’s not a bother,” Diego said, nodding and setting down the frosting knife. All the cake needed now was some cute piping around the edges and whole cherries on top of that for decoration.

“No bother, ‘specially since Allison wants to take over dinner tonight,” Walt said, clapping Diego on the shoulder. “That looks good, kid, your guy’s gonna love it.” 

“Thanks, I hope so,” Diego said, trying to just let the ‘guy’ thing slide. 

He finally understood why Klaus took so long to correct Agnes about it. How do you know if you’re wasting your breath? How do you explain to an older person why Klaus was both Diego’s ‘boyfriend’ but also not a ‘boy’ necessarily? What if this guy wasn’t accepting, or what if he simply didn’t give a shit? Diego hated not defending Klaus’ identity, but he didn’t know how to do it without being awkward yet. Next time he would explain, if he ever shared the kitchen with Walt again. At least that comment distracted Diego from being touched unexpectedly so he managed to contain his flinch.

Once the cake was finished there was still plenty of time before he was supposed to meet Klaus back in the room at noon, but he figured at least he could get a shower in before he got back. Except on his way to the room he had to go through the huge foyer, where he ran into Klaus and Allison, anyway. He hung back for a few minutes, watching Klaus standing in the middle of the foyer in bare feet, the leggings from the night before, a clingy grey t-shirt he must have gotten from Allison, and a cheap, red, crushed velvet costume cape tied around his neck that barely reached his butt. He also had on a, quite frankly, _adorable_ black cat-ear headband buried in his curls, and several gaudy, gold costume rings with fake jewels in them. He was busy untangling an orange string of lights while Allison stood on a chair, hanging fake spider web fluff off of the edges of the grandfather clock. 

“This is impossible. Trade me Allison, I’m just making these lights worse. Who put these away like this? It’s like they tangled them on purpose,” Klaus said, shaking off the lights that had managed to get wrapped around both hands.

“Alright, you can just walk around and add the little spiders to the webs,” Allison said, stepping down from the chair and spotting Diego standing in the hallway next to the grand staircase as she turned. “Oh, good morning, Diego!”

“Hey,” Diego said now that he’d been spotted. He barely made it three steps out into the foyer before Klaus dropped the lights back in the box and zoomed over to hug Diego around the neck. The impact almost knocked them both over, but Diego steadied himself and wrapped his arms around Klaus’ waist. He smiled against Klaus’ neck, never tired of how excited Klaus got about seeing him. “Good morning to you too, babe.”

“Thank you for leaving me that note, it made my day,” Klaus said into his shoulder, still holding on tightly to him.

“Well good, you should have a nice day since it’s your birthday,” Diego said, feeling Klaus gasp and let him go just enough to look him in the face with wide eyes and a bright smile. 

“How the hell did you remember that?! I told you so long ago,” he said, then leaned in and kissed Diego’s cheek before he could answer. 

“It’s an easy date to remember, especially because you told me you would be turning 26 in a month, and that was the beginning of September,” Diego said, then added. “And because I wanted to remember.”

“You’re so cute, I love you, and thank you,” Klaus said, kissing him quickly on the lips before Allison interrupted. 

“Oh, good, I’m glad he said it first so I can too, it was killing me to keep it to myself,” Allison said, picking up the lights Klaus had dropped back in the box. “Happy birthday!”

“Thank you! You guys are gonna make me cry,” Klaus said, shaking his head and looking down. Diego saw his cheeks were pink. “So did you want to help decorate? I don’t want to just abandon Allison.”

“No, don’t worry about me, you can go,” Allison said, waving her hand. “I’ll be doing this all afternoon, so you can come back later and help more if you want.”

“No, you should stay,” Diego said, squeezing Klaus’ waist with his arm. “I’m just going to be showering and stuff upstairs, so nothing exciting. Keep having fun.”

“Okay, I’ll be up in a little while. I have something to show you,” Klaus said, giving him another cheek kiss before pulling out of Diego’s arms. 

What could Klaus have to show him Diego wondered while he made his way back up to the bedroom. Klaus didn’t exactly leave the house so he had to assume it was the outfits he never got around to showing off yesterday. Aww, Diego couldn’t wait to see him excited about his new stuff, even if it also gave him a little anxiety because some of the things Klaus chose to wear were… _too_ good sometimes.

By the time Klaus made it back up to the room Diego was sitting on the bed, just pulling on his last clean black t-shirt. They were going to have to figure out the laundry situation in this house before tomorrow, but he had a hunch they were just supposed to give it to one of the housekeeping people, which he didn’t love doing. He could wash his own laundry, okay?

“I just thought you would like to know that Luther likes to be dominated,” Klaus said as he barged in the bedroom door, making Diego stop in the middle of pulling his shirt on, his head poking out of the hole. 

“Uh, what do you mean?”

“By Allison,” Klaus said, then made a whip crack gesture and sound effect with a wink as he stopped in front of Diego, smiling like that was the best news he’d heard all day. 

“ _Why_ the _hell_ would I want to know that, Klaus?” Diego asked, frowning immediately. He didn’t know much about those things, but he knew enough to get the unpleasant picture.

“Because it’s awesome, and unexpected! And kinda funny, honestly,” Klaus said with a shrug. “I certainly didn’t get that impression when I met him, and I’m usually pretty good at picking those guys out.”

“I could have, and would prefer to have, gone the rest of my life without knowing that, but thanks I guess,” Diego said, shaking his head and tugging his t-shirt the rest of the way down. “Wait, you didn’t tell Allison about-...”

“No! No, no, of course not,” Klaus said, holding his hands up and reaching for Diego’s face. He held his cheeks and tipped Diego's head up to look in his eyes. “I would never tell anyone your personal business, okay?” 

“You were pretty eager to tell me Allison’s,” Diego said, but he knew he was being kind of a wet blanket about it. Still, he needed to know Klaus wasn’t this flippant about gossip concerning him, or them as a couple. 

“I guess, but I’m not loyal to her like I am to you. I thought I could tell you anything, I’m sorry,” Klaus said, looking genuinely chastised. 

“You can, you definitely can, but maybe don’t tell me about the weird kink shit my brother’s into if you can avoid it,” Diego said, taking Klaus’ hands from his face and holding them instead. “I’m sorry, I guess I haven’t developed a sense of humor about that stuff yet.”

“Right, I wasn’t thinking,” Klaus said, then leaned forward to kiss Diego’s forehead quickly. “This is why I’ve never kept friends. I can’t shut the fuck up. She probably trusts me, too. God, I suck.”

“You do not. It’s fine, I’m sure she tells Luther everything you tell her, too,” Diego said, letting go of Klaus’ hands so he could put his socks on.

“I’m actually not sure about that. It sounds like they barely talk,” Klaus said, walking around to his side of the bed and flopping down behind Diego.

“Can’t say I blame her, I wouldn’t want to talk to him either,” Diego said, shifting on the bed so he was facing the headboard, and Klaus. Except Klaus was staring at a baby blue hardcover book in his hands, still looking guilty. It didn’t look like any of the books Diego had brought back from the library, and Klaus’ journal was similar but yellow instead of blue.

“While you’re already mad at me, I have something to show you,” Klaus said, opening the cover of the book to the title page and handing it to Diego.

“I’m not mad at you, I promise,” Diego said, but he took the book and stared at the first page. There was a blue square border around six blank lines that had been filled in with handwriting. 

_**Mother’s Name:** Grace Hargreeves_

__

_**Father’s Name:** Reginald Hargreeves_

__

_**Baby’s Name:** Luther Adam Hargreeves_

__

_**Baby’s Weight and Length:** 8lb 10oz, 22in_

__

_**Baby’s Birth Date:** June 29th, 1988_

__

_**Baby’s Birth City:** Seattle, WA_

There was another blue bordered square under that with two black ink baby footprints. This was Luther’s _baby book,_ filled out by his mother. Diego could tell it was his mom’s handwriting immediately, and it took him a few seconds pause to remember how to breathe.

“Klaus, where did you get this? Was it in a drawer in here or something?” Diego asked once he could string together a coherent thought. Klaus crossed his arms and looked the other way out of the balcony window. 

“Yesterday when I was in Allison’s room I swiped a couple bobby pins, and after you left this morning I picked the lock on the adjoining door,” Klaus said, then sighed and looked back at Diego.

“Why would you do that?” Diego asked, and it came out much more exasperated than he meant it too, but to be fair, he was a little exasperated, okay?

“I was just curious! You can’t tell me a spooky old room has been locked for over a decade and expect me not to check it out!”

“... so it was my mom’s room?” Diego asked, turning the page of the book to read his mom’s handwriting all down the page. All little moments during pregnancy - baby’s first ultrasound, baby’s first kick, baby’s gender determined, baby’s first hiccups.

“Yeah, I think so. I just found that on the bedside table and then Allison knocked on our door and I raced out before she caught me in there,” Klaus said, still looking guilty. “I didn’t look at anything else, I swear. I figured you should get to do that, if you wanted to. I’m sorry, I didn’t expect it to be something like that.”

“Was there a bunch of stuff in there or was it mostly empty?” Diego asked, still trying to figure out exactly how he felt about this information. Part of him was angry that Klaus did this, but another part of him was masochistically curious, even though he knew walking in that room would hurt him worse than holding this book.

“Uh, it looked neat in there, but there were belongings out on some surfaces. All covered in an inch of dust, though,” Klaus said. “I think it’s been locked since… since your mom left.”

“That man didn’t even want Luther to remember he had a mother, did he?” Diego said, mostly to himself. He flipped through several more pages of the book until he found that the back half of the book was full of lined pages full of journal entries his mom wrote while she was pregnant. 

_ May 8th, 1988 _

__ _Luther,_

_I got to see you on a screen again today! The doctor says you’re getting big and strong! Your dad and I finally agreed on your name. I hope you like it, it sounds like a good name for a strong little man like you. Only 2 more months and you’ll be here, I can hardly believe it. I’m so excited to meet you, baby boy! I’m excited for you to stop standing on my bladder too, haha. I guess getting up all hours of the night is good practice for when you’re here though, right? I love you, I can’t wait to rock with you in my arms and sing you songs about the stars._

_Sweet dreams, Love Mom, xoxo_

Diego felt a tear slide down his cheek and he snapped the book shut. He shouldn’t be reading this. The only person that should be reading this is Luther.

“Read the last one,” Klaus said somberly, keeping his arms folded over his chest.

“I don’t want to,” Diego said, but he was already opening to the last few pages with something written on them. 

_ January 12th, 1989_

_Luther,_

_I’m so sorry, honey. I hear you cry but I don’t know how to help. I don’t know how to make it stop. They are going to take you away from me, and maybe they should. Because you deserve a mother that’s not broken. You deserve so much better, baby. I’m trying._

_Mom_

Diego closed the book again, tapping his fingers on the cover and staring absently at the headboard. He knew a few more tears had leaked down his cheeks but he didn’t bother wiping them. Klaus brought him this pain, he could sit there and watch the aftermath uncomfortably, too. But that was the thing about Klaus - he was never uncomfortable around Diego’s tears, or his anger or any of his unpleasant moods. Instead he just reached out to rest his hand over Diego’s on the journal. 

“I’m sorry for bumming you out, but I thought you would want to know,” Klaus said, rubbing his thumb over Diego’s knuckles. “There’s pictures in there, too. I know you were sad about not having any, and I’m sure Luther wouldn’t mind if you kept some. He won’t even know if you don’t tell him the room was opened.”

“Oh, I’m going to tell him. I’m giving him this book,” Diego said, picking up the book and shaking it so Klaus’ hand fell to the bed. “He needs to know she didn’t just abandon him, or choose me over him. This was orchestrated by his shitty father that he thinks is so great.”

“What if he’s mad at me for picking the lock?” Klaus asked, biting his lip.

“I’ll just let him think I did it. And to be honest I might have myself if I knew how to pick locks,” Diego said, but that might only be half true. Sure, he was already curious about what was in there, and he’d had the hunch since the time he was standing in the bathroom and swore he smelled his mom’s perfume. It wasn’t just the lilies. But would he have broken into a locked bedroom? … maybe if he thought he could get away with it. 

“You don’t know how to pick locks?” Klaus asked, and Diego was happy to let the conversation reroute to something else besides his mom. 

“I don’t. Always wanted to learn but I never got around to it,” Diego said, then felt the corners of his mouth perk up. “It’s kinda sexy that you know how, though.”

“Is that so,” Klaus said with a snort of laughter. Diego saw his cheeks flush softly and it was chicken soup for his soul. “I guess you have a bit of a thing for rebels that think they’re above the law.”

“As if that wasn’t completely obvious from day one,” Diego said with a smirk. He leaned forward over his crossed legs and Klaus did the same. When they kissed Klaus held both sides of Diego’s face, chuckling against his lips more than anything.

“I’m sorry, you're just too cute,” Klaus said when he leaned back enough to see Diego’s face.

“Am not,” Diego said, rolling his eyes but still smiling as Klaus held him by the cheeks.

“You are, look at that cute nose,” Klaus said, tipping forward to kiss Diego’s nose, and then his cheek, and every part he named after. “And these cheeks, and these lips, and your _ears._ ”

“My ears? Ears are _not_ cute,” Diego said, but he would be a liar if he said he didn’t love this attention and all these soft kisses on his face.

“Yes they are! Look at them, so cute. Getting lost in all this hair, though,” Klaus said, tucking Diego’s hair behind his ear to showcase it for himself, and to give it a kiss close to his earlobe. “Cutest ears ever.”

“Whatever,” Diego said, chuckling and pulling his face out of Klaus’ grip. He knew he was blushing but it was okay. He liked to see it on Klaus, so maybe it went both ways.

“No, not whatever! Truth. You’re cute, and hot and adorable and some day I’m gonna make you feel sexy, too,” Klaus said, dragging a fingertip down Diego’s thigh and sticking a finger in one of the small holes in his sweats by his knee. Except then Klaus frowned and stared at the bedroom door. “Someone is coming.” 

Well that certainly sent a shiver down Diego’s spine and shifted the whole vibe of the room. He wasn’t surprised to hear a knock at the door a few seconds later but he jumped at the sound anyway. How did Klaus know?

“I’ll get it,” Diego said, hoping off the bed and padding up to the door silently. He wished the door had a little peephole, even though he was sure whoever it was meant him no ill will, not here. When he opened the door a young white girl with blond hair held up a plain paper shopping bag by the handles in front of him.

“Luther sent you this, sir,” she said, setting the bag in Diego’s hands. “There’s a letter in there, too. Have a good night.”

“Uh, thank you,” Diego said, frowning at the bag and tipping it forward to look inside. It looked like clothes, and a small envelope. The girl had taken off down the hall so Diego stepped back inside and shut the door, then walked back over to the bed and dumped the bag out. 

“Oh, those look nice,” Klaus said as two pairs of folded black jeans and a black, short-sleeve button up shirt fell in a disheveled heap on the bed.

“Why the fuck is Luther sending me clothes?” Diego asked, then ripped open the envelope and snapped the folded piece of paper open with one hand. 

_Diego-_

_This is not a gift. I’m just sick of seeing you walk around my house in the same sweatpants. I guessed your size, but we have a tailor on call if you need adjustments. See you at dinner. Don’t be in sweats for Christ’s sake._

_-Luther_

He threw the letter on the bed and crossed his arms. Diego didn’t need Luther spending even more money on him, and then insulting him on top of it. What a dick. 

“Don’t be like that, honey. I can see you’re already trying to think of a reason to reject these,” Klaus said, picking up the letter and glancing at it. Then he picked up one of the pairs of jeans and unfurled them. “Look, they’re just Levis, not some fancy designer. It’s not like they cost him much. Do you still have your belt?”

“Yes,” Diego answered, his tone heavy with bitterness that Klaus didn’t deserve.

“Good, because Luther must think you’re chunky. These are at least a size too big,” Klaus said, completely ignoring Diego’s attitude. “I like the white buttons on this black button up, too. Aww, you’re gonna look so handsome!”

“I don’t want to look handsome. I’m wearing my sweats out of spite, now,” Diego said, keeping his arms firmly crossed. He could tell Klaus was fighting to not roll his eyes.

“He’s trying to be nice to you but he doesn’t know how, babe. Maybe you can cut him a little slack this one time?” Klaus said carefully. Diego glared up at the ceiling so he didn’t direct it at Klaus. “You did punch him in the face, afterall, and he’s still trying to help. Plus, your sweats are getting a little worn ou-”

“Ugh, fine! I’ll wear the stupid clothes, okay!” Diego snapped, then closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He hated not letting himself rage the way he wanted to, but Klaus didn’t deserve to deal with it. He just had to swallow what was left of his pride for the 500th time and keep letting humiliating things happen to him without retaliation. Because that’s what was expected of him now. “Don’t you hate it?”

“Hate what?” Klaus asked. 

“Just… both of them trying to shine us up to be more acceptable, or like, aesthetically pleasing?” Diego said, then sighed. “I don’t know. I just feel like a mangy dog he pulled off the streets to rehabilitate.”

“Babe, I understand why it feels that way, but I really think they just want to help,” Klaus said soothingly. “Allison never made me feel that way while I was trying on her clothes. She just knew something bad happened that made me need them and she wanted to help in the only way she knew how. It wasn’t about shining me up like a new penny or anything. She mostly just wanted a friend, and… maybe Luther wants the brother that he took for granted before now.”

“Don’t give him that much credit. This is just about him clearing his guilty conscience,” Diego said, then picked up the new shirt and started unfastening the buttons.

“Sure, it’s that, too. But people are multidimensional, you know? You don’t know everything he’s thinking,” Klaus said, but Diego was beyond done with this conversation. All he could think to say was some snappy retort about ‘ _I thought that was your job_ ’ - but Klaus didn’t deserve that either. He was genuinely trying to make Diego see beyond his own admittedly clouded judgement, and it was good of him to do that even if it made Diego annoyed. At least Klaus could sense he wasn’t in the mood, and he changed tracks. “Wait, before you put that on you should change into your black tank top instead of the t-shirt, or the sleeves will show.”

“Sure,” Diego said, if only to have an excuse to walk away and roll his eyes in without hurting someone’s feelings. He was crouching down, looking in his duffle bag in the trunk at the end of the bed when Klaus crawled up to the edge and looked down at him.

“Hey, want to see that fancy dress I never showed you yesterday?” Klaus asked, looking down on him with the cute smirk he’d been wearing before they got interrupted. It made it hard for Diego to keep frowning even though he was far from over being annoyed. He would just have to file it away to brood about later. This was Klaus’ birthday, afterall. No ruining it by being a bitter jerk. 

“Yeah, sure,” Diego said, pulling his tank top out of the bag and then shutting the lid of the trunk. “Remind me to take those jam jars to Luther tonight. I keep forgetting about them.”

“Oh, shit, me too. I have a terrible memory, so get them out now and set them by the door or we will definitely both forget again,” Klaus said, then rolled off the bed onto his feet. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Diego may be bitter about how the new jeans were acquired, but once he had them on he almost groaned about how nice it felt to wear regular pants again. He tried to ignore that they weren’t quite as loose as Klaus expected them to be, but overall he was glad to not be in fucking sweatpants anymore. He was busy fastening his belt when Klaus stepped out of the closet, so when he looked up Klaus was already standing next to him.

“Whoa,” Diego said intelligently, forgetting about the belt entirely as he stared at Klaus. The dress was green with a gold flash effect, the slinky material hugging Klaus’ body like it was made for him. Except Klaus looked self-conscious about it, crossing his arms over himself and staring at the floor. “Hey, what’s wrong? You look amazing!”

“I saw myself in a full length mirror in the closet and just… it just looked better yesterday morning, I guess,” Klaus said, unfolding his arms to smooth the dress down in front. When he turned around Diego saw the dress was unzipped, and just the sight of his long, smooth back with the zipper open almost to his buttcrack was enough to take Diego’s breath away for a few seconds.

“It looks just as great today, you have nothing to worry about, babe,” Diego said sincerely, reaching forward to zip the dress without being asked. As soon as he finished he slid his hands around Klaus’ waist from both sides, wrapping his arms around him and nuzzling his face against his shoulder. He felt Klaus laugh and relax into his arms.

“It’s okay, I guess,” Klaus said, reaching up to pet the side of Diego’s face on his shoulder. “It would look better with makeup and gold jewelry, and shaved legs.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t hear you over how hot you already are,” Diego whispered against Klaus’ neck, then sprinkled kisses along his neck and shoulder. 

Fuck, he was going to mess around and get turned on if he didn’t stop, but hearing Klaus’ soft little gasps with each kiss was too good. He wished he was normal. He wished he could suck Klaus’ sensitive skin between his teeth and leave little purple marks, he wished he could make them late for dinner by reaching down further, slipping his hand under the hem of the dress while he held Klaus like this. Diego wanted to know what it would feel like to cup Klaus’ dick through his underwear, or maybe even without it. Wait, was he even wearing underwear with a clingy dress like this? Christ, just thinking about it was enough for Diego’s crotch to get too warm and sensitive, and it just wasn’t fucking fair that he had to stop. As soon as he pulled back and took a deep breath Klaus was already turning in his arms and smiling.

“I think you’ve got a skirt kink, babe,” Klaus purred, draping his forearms on Diego’s shoulders and combing his hair with his fingernails. Diego frowned and he knew he was blushing but ugh, was that really _true?_

“I do _not,_ ” Diego denied, because really, Klaus was hot _all_ the time. It’s just when he dressed like that, it made it harder for Diego to ignore his own body. It wasn’t like a _fetish._ “I don’t have any of those.”

“Oh yes you do, we just have to figure out what they are,” Klaus said, giggling when Diego’s frown deepened. “Don’t worry, that kink works out incredibly great for me.”

“Is that right? And what other ones would work for you?” Diego asked, trying to shift the attention off himself, and also because he was curious. Klaus stared in his eyes, bit his lip for a second and then shook his head.

“I’ll tell you when you can experiment with what you like, too,” Klaus said, and Diego had to wonder why he always dodged that question. Was he into some super weird shit he was afraid to tell Diego about?

“You can still _talk_ to me about sex, you know,” Diego said, scratching his nails on Klaus’ back where there was no material. “I’m not a kid. I know what most things are most of the time, so you’re not spoiling my innocence or whatever you’re worried about.”

“Diego, I don’t think you’re a kid. I just don’t want to trigger anxiety unncessarily, is all,” Klaus said. “We have plenty of time to talk about that stuff the rest of our lives. Besides… I’m not hating the feeling of falling in love with someone _before_ I have sex with them. So no rush, okay?”

“Okay,” Diego said with a little nod. “Just don’t be afraid to tell me what you like if it comes up, even if you think I can’t handle it yet. I’ll remember it for when I can.”

“You’re already doing a great job turning me on just by existing, no extras needed,” Klaus said, leaning forward to give Diego a quick lip kiss and then step out of his arms. “I’m going to go change and get ready.”

“Wait, why are you changing?” 

“Because I feel weird. Not because of the dress thing, but just because Allison told me this is the dress she wore on her last date with Luther over a year ago and I don’t want to- _wait,_ I changed my mind,” Klaus said, and Diego almost saw an actual lightbulb light up over his head. “Maybe reminding Luther that he has a beautiful wife he used to take on dates will make him sentimental and actually want to spend time with her.”

“I am just telling you right now Luther doesn’t remember that dress, or any dress she’s ever worn, but by all means, work your magic,” Diego said, moving back over to the edge of the bed and sitting down.

“I don’t think that’s true. You’ll see,” Klaus said, winking at him before taking off to the bathroom.

While Klaus was busy getting even prettier, Diego took that opportunity to dig out the jolly rancher candies for Klaus’ birthday from his duffle bag. He decided it wouldn’t be too lame to reuse the plain paper bag that Luther had just sent his jeans in - Klaus was into thrifty reused stuff, anyway. He just wished he had some tissue paper or something fluffy to make up for all the empty space, but this would have to do. Ugh, there was also the fact that he would have to carry it down with Klaus and he was a nosy little shit, he would definitely ask too many questions. Oh, the laundry! That was his excuse to leave the room for a moment, so he took it. 

“Hey, I collected all the laundry, I’m going to go see if I can find someone to take it while you’re finishing up,” Diego said through the cracked bathroom door. He caught Klaus’ eye in the mirror while he was applying mascara and he was suddenly anxious that Klaus could tell he was up to something. He always just knows things, Diego couldn’t put it past him to immediately guess what he was doing.

“Okay, hang on,” Klaus said, stuffing the mascara wand back in the tube and then disappearing further into the bathroom. He came back a few seconds later with a wad of clothes from the day before, dropping them in Diego’s arms. “Allison said you just have to drop them outside the door and someone will pick them up. There’s a laundry basket in that closet, too, you can set them out there in that so maybe it feels less rude?”

“Alright,” Diego said, even though that kind of foiled his plans. 

He did it anyway, looping the paper bag around his wrist before picking up the full white laundry basket and carrying it outside. After he set the laundry basket down he stared down the halls, hoping to see one of the housekeepers or something. When he didn’t see one on this floor he jogged down to the stairs and looked down over the banister. Bingo.

“Hey! Hey Sylvia,” Diego called as he took the stairs down two at a time to catch her out in the foyer. She stopped when she heard her name, but when Diego made it to the bottom he realized Allison was still in there hanging things in an extremely over-decorated room. He felt like he walked into a Spirit Halloween store, but none of that mattered. Sylvia was still staring at him expectantly, so he waved politely. “Oh, sorry, I can actually tell Allison myself, thank you.”

“What’s up?” Allison asked, stepping down from the chair she was using to hang little bats on strings from an archway into the living room. Her hair was falling out of her ponytail and she was still in her silky pajamas in the middle of the afternoon, but he certainly wasn’t one to judge. 

“Can you bring this with you to dinner later? I’m trying to make it a little surprise but Klaus is a hard person to deceive,” Diego said, holding up the paper bag. Allison took it and glanced inside. 

“Aww, sure, of course. Do you want me to add some tissue paper? I have orange and purple already, in that box over there. It would be no trouble,” she said, nodding toward one of the cardboard boxes of Halloween stuff.

“Yeah, that would be cool, thank you,” Diego said, once again thrown by just how nice she was to him. “Sorry to run, but I need to get back there before he has questions.”

“You’re so sweet, you know that? He’s going to love how much you’ve thought about this for him,” Allison said, and she seemed to sense that Diego couldn’t handle that kind of compliment from her, so she quickly added, “See you guys in a little bit. Actually what time is it? Shit, I probably should get dinner preparations rolling soon. I’ll bring the present, and some candles for the cake.”

“Awsome, thank you again,” Diego said, still trying to recover from her compliment as he started backing away toward the stairs. “We’ll meet you later.”

‘Later’ came much sooner than Diego would have liked, but he walked with Klaus down to the dining room in spite of the concept of another dinner with Luther hanging over him. At least Klaus looked wonderful and confident again, and there was a pretty cake and gift waiting for him. At this point those were the important little things that were keeping Diego’s feet moving. That, and he was outrageously starving. He realized about 20 minutes before they walked out of the room that he’d forgotten to return to the kitchen for their pizza pockets. Hopefully Walt wasn’t annoyed, Diego was just extremely distracted, but that explains why he was ready to eat a steak fit for Fred Flintstone.

Except the dining room was empty when they walked in - no food, no set table, not even a server in sight.

“Oh, are we super early somehow?” Klaus asked, but then they heard pans clatter in the kitchen.

“Maybe we’re supposed to meet out on that patio we had breakfast on the other morning,” Diego said, wrapping his hand around Klaus’ and heading for the kitchen. When they made it through the door Allison was just scooping up a big metal bowl of salad sitting on the counter. She smiled when she saw them and moved the bowl to one arm so she could grab a bottle of dressing from the counter. 

“Oh hey!” she said, then waved her hand with the dressing as best she could for them to follow. Diego set the box of jam jars on the first counter space available next to the door they’d walked through. “This way, we will catch up in a few minutes. I just put the steaks on and I don’t want them to be overcooked.”

“I can take that for you, if you want,” Klaus said while they trailed after her to the patio.

“No it’s okay, just tell me how you like your steak,” Allison said as they picked their seats at the table. 

Diego was immediately relieved that Luther hadn’t made his way here yet, but only for a moment because he knew if Luther didn’t show up Allison would be sad. Then he had to wonder when he started caring about Allison’s feelings, but he didn’t let himself dwell on that for very long. He still couldn’t help but notice this was the first day Allison didn’t have a drink in her hand all hours of the day, and Luther ditching this would almost certainly ruin that.

“Rare is good,” Diego responded.

“Don’t judge me,” Klaus said, staring at Diego while he told Allison what he wanted. “I like steak medium because having too much blood on my plate puts me off the whole thing.”

“Why would anyone judge you for that?” Diego asked. 

“I like mine that way, too,” Allison said with a shrug after she set the metal bowl down on the table.

“I don’t know! People always mock me for not wanting a bloody, manly steak or whatever. It’s not like I’m putting ketchup on it or anything sacrilege,” Klaus said, making both Allison and Diego laugh, but not at him. They looked at each other and Diego didn’t even need her to speak to know she was thinking the same thing he was. Klaus frowned. “What? Do you guys put ketchup on your steak or something?”

“No, but Luther does,” Diego said, still snorting quietly to himself thinking about the times he mocked Luther for that when they were kids. Allison nodded, and Diego decided if she could lightheartedly make fun of Luther with him they could get along even better.

“You know what, that sounds about right now that you say so,” Klaus said with a nod. Allison seemed to remember she was cooking and took off toward the smoking grill.

“Oh, hey baby, you made it!” Allison said behind them. 

Klaus and Diego both turned to see her give Luther a one armed hug on her tiptoes while she held the grill tongs in the other hand away from him. It immediately soured Diego’s mood a bit because Luther’s face was a mess, and _he_ did that to him. He had a black eye, busted lip and an angry looking cut with a bruise around it on his cheek, just under the black eye. But then Diego remembered exactly how the conversation beforehand went and his feelings swung back around to feeling at least somewhat justified. Either way this was going to be fucking awkward, but he was going to try to keep his shit together for Klaus’ sake. He deserved a nice birthday, damn it.

“You look amazing,” Luther said, kissing the side of Allison’s head before letting her go. Diego hadn’t even registered yet that she was all dolled up like she was the first night they met, and Luther was right, of course.

When Luther sat down next to Diego at the round patio table, he half expected to be yelled at. Instead Luther pretended like nothing was awkward about this, which was even more frustrating than just addressing it. Even Klaus wasn’t mentioning it, and he never had a filter. 

“I’m glad those clothes fit then,” Luther said conversationally. Diego took a subtle but deep, steadying inhale before he responded. It didn’t help.

“Am I presentable enough for this high society event on your back porch now?” Diego sassed, simply unable to keep it from slipping out when Luther was involved. Diego heard Klaus sigh; Luther gave Diego an unenthused face. 

“Only you would take offense to getting new stuff,” he said, shaking his head.

“It’s not the stuff that’s offensive, it’s you insinuating that you’re sick of looking at trash like me in your house. Well I have news for you, you’re-“

“It was a joke, Diego,” Luther interrupted before Diego could carry on with his tangent.

“Well no one’s laughing,” Diego snapped.

“Hey can you guys just not today?” Klaus asked, reaching out to thread his fingers through Diego’s under the table. 

“Sure,” Diego said without taking his glare away from Luther. It was just impossible to not hate him on sight, but he had to behave. For Klaus. 

“This should help,” Allison said, setting down a small plate of grilled stuffed mushrooms between Diego and Luther. The incredible smell of bubbling cheese and garlic hit Diego’s nose and he suddenly forgot what he was even mad about. “Steaks will be up in a minute, too.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever had a stuffed mushroom,” Klaus said, staring at the steaming plate with interest. Just as Luther was about to stab a mushroom with his fork Diego swiped the plate and passed it to Klaus, leaving Luther’s fork hovering in the air.

“Here,” Diego said with a smile on his face.

“Diego,” Klaus said with a chuckle as he witnessed that happen. He quickly stabbed a mushroom anyway and waved that he was good with that for now. Diego grabbed his own fork and picked up a mushroom for himself before setting the plate back down. Luther waited a few more seconds before trying again, and Diego was so god damn tempted to move the plate again, but he contained himself even though it would have amused him. 

“So I talked to Chuck. It sounds like therapy went well?” Luther asked, still trying to make things conversational even when Diego was being a punk.

“Oh my god, I forgot to even ask, I’m so sorry,” Klaus said, around a mouthful of mushroom. 

“Yeah, it was fine,” Diego said, and that wasn’t even a brush-off answer. It really did go better than he expected. “Not sure why you picked a cop to do it, but he seems alright.”

“He was fired from the department for ignoring a direct order from a superior, even though he saved a life in the process. He took three shots in the gut, but there’s a teenager that graduated high school this year because of him,” Luther explained. Diego was listening, but only with about half his brain because the other half was focused on how amazing this mushroom tasted in his mouth. “Needless to say he’s got a lot of jaded feelings about the law and order system that would let a kid die. He knows exactly who you are and he still wants to help you, so don’t be an asshole to him.”

“Wasn’t planning on it,” Diego said with a note of testiness. 

“Do you think it’s going to help?” Klaus asked, most likely trying to derail another pissing contest. 

“I don’t know yet, but it’s worth a shot,” Diego said, his face softening when he looked back at Klaus.

“Even if it’s not a cure-all, it will at least help the atrophy you’ve probably developed from not using the muscles for an extended period,” Luther said, and then stuffed two mushrooms stacked on top of each other on his fork into his mouth at the same time.

“Well good, and I’m glad you like the therapist. Maybe you can make a new friend,” Klaus said, nudging Diego with his elbow and giving him a cute smirk.

“I wouldn’t go that far. I don’t make friends with cops, former or otherwise,” Diego said, but then Allison returned with the ceramic platter of grilled steaks and asparagus and distracted everyone completely.

Diego couldn’t remember the last time he’d eaten steak. Sometime before prison, and never one that looked this fat and picture perfect. Allison took her seat next to Luther, and Diego looked away from his own plate long enough to notice she didn’t have a wine glass, or anything but water. It was none of his business, but until today she’d seemed like a bit of a lush.

“This looks incredible Allison, thank you so much,” Klaus said, and Diego was also surprised to see Klaus pick up the salad tongs and add a little pile to his plate, too. It was make-good-choices day around here, apparently, so Diego silently vowed to not give Luther any more shit for the evening. It was going to be a nice night, and he wouldn’t be the one that spoiled it. 

“You’re welcome! I’m happy to make you a good meal for your birthday,” Allison said sincerely. 

“I’m not used to anyone even knowing it’s my birthday, so this is really nice,” Klaus said, then picked up an asparagus with his fingers and bit off the end. 

“Klaus,” Diego said as he picked up his knife and fork. When Klaus looked at him he gestured to his steak with his knife. “I need you to forget we’re dating for like 10 minutes because I’m about to annihilate this and it will not be charming.”

Klaus chuckled. “Go for it babe, so am I.”

Things mostly quieted down while everyone ate other than Allison and Klaus making small talk about the food or about Halloween decorating or whatever else, Diego didn’t pay much attention. He was busy being in food heaven, and Luther was doing the same. It felt a little bit like two opposing predators suspending their enemy status in order to share a watering hole, but it was still progress. At least Diego could make himself eat with present company this time, and he didn’t regret it. He hadn’t felt this full and satisfied by a meal in a long time. Allison might even be a better cook than he was, but he would keep that to himself.

“Ohhh, I’m stuffed,” Luther said, tossing his napkin on the table and leaning back in his chair. He looked over at Allison and reached out to squeeze her shoulder. “That was excellent, darling. I need to make it home for dinner more often.”

“That’s what I’ve been telling you for the last year,” Allison said, and her ‘you-ain’t-shit’ expression almost made Diego laugh out loud but he managed to keep that to himself, too. Luther looked like she punched him right in the dick, also hilarious. Diego was having a better time than he expected. 

“Right. I walked right into that one, huh?” Luther said, moving the hand on Allison’s shoulder to rub her back instead. She responded, but Diego had to stop paying attention then because the cursed image that Klaus had put in his head earlier about their bedroom dynamic popped back up in his mind. Ew.

“Do you have room for dessert?” Diego asked, turning his attention to Klaus instead. He looked shaken out of deep thought as he tore his attention away from Allison and Luther; no doubt doing his psychic thing and analyzing their unspoken vibes or whatever. 

“Of course, I’m always a slut for dessert,” Klaus said, making Diego blink several times before he could think of a response. Thankfully Klaus had another thought first. “Wait, did you make something? How do you know there’s dessert?”

“I did. This morning after therapy. I knew you and Allison were busy so-“

“Oh so that’s where you were, and why you smelled like flour when I hugged you. Amazing, I can’t wait. You didn’t make many desserts at Agnes’ so I’m interested in what you could come up with a full kitchen,” Klaus said with a smile, and Diego was pleased that he seemed to be totally oblivious to the fact that this was a birthday dessert. 

“I think you’ll like it. Hey, Allison, do you want to come help me get dessert plates and stuff? I’m not sure where they would be,” he said, and he wasn’t sure which face was funnier – Klaus’ or Luther’s as they both looked at each other and realized they were about to be left alone together. On second thought, maybe he shouldn’t leave those two alone? No, it should be fine, right? It’s not like he had to leave the city to get the cake, they would only be alone for a few minutes. 

“Yes, of course,” Allison said, but she wasn’t smiling and Diego could tell she was still irritated with Luther. “Let’s take these plates inside, though, or there won’t be room.”

After Diego and Allison set the plates by the sink Allison walked over to one of the cupboards by the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of red wine. Diego watched her stare at it for a few moments and then put it back and shut the cupboard with some unnecessary force. It wasn’t his business, but he was still proud to see her not give in to temptation when she was clearly struggling. She rubbed her temples and sighed, then turned back to Diego with a polite smile on her face that he knew she was forcing herself to wear. He could relate. 

“Okay the cake is in the oven so it didn’t get bumped while I was getting everything for dinner, and Walt said there’s a container of ice cream in the big freezer in the back room so I’ll go grab that and some plates and you get the cake,” she explained, Diego nodded along. “Oh, and the present is already on the deck behind one of the flower boxes.”

“Alright, great, thank you,” Diego said with an awkward thumbs up that he’d never used in his life. 

They parted ways and Diego located the cake in the oven, pleased to see that the frosting held up and didn’t melt or weigh the cake down. He’d never made cream cheese frosting, so it could have easily gone sideways. It looked just as pretty as it did this morning, and Walt had even set a glass lid over it so it looked straight out of a bakery shop window. Picture perfect. All they needed was a knife and cake server, which he also grabbed and tucked the handles under one of his arms because the cake was too heavy to carry without both hands.

When he met Allison again at the back door he started to get butterflies just at the thought of Klaus seeing this cake. He hadn’t done anything like this in a long time, and he knew it was going to make Klaus emotional, so both things were exciting and scary at the same time. When Allison saw the cake in his hands she smiled again, but for real this time.

“That is so beautiful! He’s going to love it, Diego,” Allison said, and then followed him out on the deck. At least Luther and Klaus hadn’t started yelling at each other or anything, from the looks of it. They were having a discussion that Diego was hoping Klaus would tell him about later, but that didn’t matter at the moment.

When Klaus heard their shoes on the deck he turned around, his expression completely unreadable as he watched Diego walk toward him with the cake. He didn’t even look like he was breathing. When Diego set it down in front of him he stared at it for a while like he didn’t believe it was real. 

“You made that? For me?” Klaus asked as Diego sat down next to him.

“I did, for your birthday,” he said, then pointed to the glass cylinder container of pink ice cream that Allison was holding. “And the chef made you homemade cherry ice cream to go with the cherry chip cake. Is that okay?”

Klaus nodded slightly while he stared at the cake with the same blank expression, but Diego could tell he was going to crack any second. He wished they didn’t have an audience, but he wouldn’t change what happened next for the world. Klaus’ face started to crumple and he turned to Diego with his arms outstretched, so Diego leaned in for the hug. His arms wrapped around Diego’s neck and he buried his face in Diego's shoulder that hid his face from Luther and Allison. Diego held on tightly because he could feel Klaus was shaking with the effort to not fall apart in front of strangers. Diego could relate to that, too. 

“Hey, it’s okay, babe. It’s just a cake,” Diego said into his ear, rubbing his hand soothingly up and down Klaus’ bare back.

But he knew it wasn’t just the cake; it was the gesture, and Klaus’ troubled history, and just the overwhelming feeling of knowing someone loved you enough to remember the little details, like your favorite kind of cake. He felt Klaus’ breath hitch as he finally let himself take a deep breath against Diego’s neck and let a few tears fall.

When Klaus finally pulled back he fanned his face for a few seconds but at least he was smiling now.

“Sorry, I’m just not used to anyone caring,” Klaus said, then wiped one extra tear with the thumb of one hand and reached out to grab Diego’s hand with the other. He smiled when Diego squeezed his hand. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a cake. Thank you.” 

“Of course, you deserve a nice birthday after all the shit we’ve been through lately,” Diego said. “There are candles, too, but we don’t have to put them on if you don’t want us to awkwardly sing to you.”

“Oh, shit I actually left them inside,” Allison said, starting to stand up to go grab them but Klaus waved his hand. 

“No, it’s fine, don’t worry about it! This is already fucking amazing so just give me that knife so I can taste it already,” Klaus said, taking his hand out of Diego’s grip and holding it out for the knife on Diego’s other side. “It’s almost too pretty to cut, though. I wish I had my camera down here, what a cute picture.”

“It does look really nice,” Luther said, startling Diego because he forgot Luther was even there for a few minutes, and also because… did Luther just compliment him? Was this end times?

“It does! You could open a bakery,” Allison said, starting to dole out dessert plates and spoons.

“I wouldn’t go that far, especially before you try it. What if it’s terrible?” Diego said, giving himself a new anxiety that he didn’t have before. Oh no what if it really was terrible? That would be embarrassing, especially after all this buildup. 

“Not possible. Everything you’ve ever made me has been fantastic,” Klaus said, pressing the knife down into the three layer cake. When he saw the pink color inside he froze and looked at Diego. “Did I tell you what my favorite cake was at some point?”

“Yes. I forget the exact context where it came up but I didn’t forget the kind you said.”

“You are so perfect, I love you. How did you remember that? I don’t even remember that,” Klaus said, looking misty again but he held it together as he set a slice of cake on his own plate. 

“I just told myself to remember and I did, but hey, I’ve never made cream cheese frosting or this kind of cake so if it’s not what you’re used to I-“

“Diego, it’s okay, it could taste like cat litter and I would still be just as touched that you made the effort,” Klaus said, then handed him a plate with a wedge of pretty pink cake on it.

“Ice cream?” Allison asked Diego, handing him the ice cream scoop while Klaus passed out the last two slices of cake. 

She had already scooped some for herself and Luther, Diego noticed, but then he also noticed that Luther had been watching him with a small smile. When Diego made eye contact he looked down at his plate instead, but Diego knew Luther had been observing him and he didn’t like it. As if it wasn’t hard to be vulnerable and affectionate with Klaus in front of other people as it was. 

“Yep, it’s amazing just like I knew it would be,” Klaus said with a mouthful of cake, and Allison and Luther both nodded with their mouths full too. Diego thought it needed more cherry juice since it was a little plain, but he was relieved that it at least turned out decent. The ice cream Walt made was even better but he was going to ignore that. Klaus noticed him mostly picking at his plate and frowned. “How come you’re not eating much?”

“I just prefer pie to cake, to be honest,” Diego said with a shrug. “But people don’t have pies for birthdays.”

“I beg to differ, you can stick candles in a pie for me, I would love that just as much,” Klaus said. There was a little frosting on his bottom lip and Diego had a little fantasy about holding his chin and licking it off all sexy-like. But not in present company, or any company, because he could never be that bold. 

“My mom has a coconut cream pie recipe that will rock your world,” Allison said, and Luther nodded as if he’d also tasted this pie before. “I can give it to you if you’d like.”

“I’m also not much of a cream pie guy, but thank you,” Diego said, but then both Allison and Klaus let out surprised giggles that he did not understand whatsoever. Thankfully Luther seemed just as confused as he was, but Klaus was looking at him with his lip bit and a sparkle in his eye like he was biting back a snappy, filthy comment he knew wasn’t appropriate. Diego knew that look by this point. He was clearly missing some sexual joke here but he wasn’t about to ask and expose himself for not knowing what it was. 

“We can’t all be into cream pies, it’s okay,” Allison said, sending Klaus into another fit of giggles.

“Allison!” Klaus said from behind his hand that he was using to hold the laughter in.

“I think we missed the joke,” Luther said to Diego, and all he could do was shrug and smile because he had no idea what was happening.

“It’s okay, I’ll show you later,” Allison said, smiling at Luther impishly. He appeared to also realize it was some kind of innuendo and his stunned expression was funny to see even though Diego was just as clueless.

“Ooohh my god, anyway,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and trying to collect himself. “If I eat another bite of this cake I’m going to explode. Can we save the rest?”

“Of course, I’ll put it in the big refrigerator in the back and you can get it whenever you want,” Allison said and then yawned behind her hand. The sun was just barely starting to set, but it was already starting to get chilly and Diego knew they would all be parting ways soon. In that case, he better give Klaus his present.

“I have something else for you,” Diego said to get Klaus’ attention. 

“Oh no, you shouldn’t have done anything else! This was more than enough,” Klaus said with a frown that quickly turned up into a smirk. “But… I’m kind of curious, still.”

Diego smiled back and nodded, then looked to Allison. She pointed toward one of the rectangle flower boxes full of mums by the stairs, and he could just barely see the orange tissue paper behind the flowers already. He walked over and picked up the bag by the handles, smiling about how nice it looked with Halloweeny orange and purple puffs of tissue paper sticking out of the top. It made Klaus gasp, which was also adorable. 

“Where the fuck did you buy a present?!” Klaus asked. He was smiling so big it warmed Diego’s heart and he hadn’t even opened it yet.

“Don’t get too excited, it’s just from the gas station we stopped at on the way up so it’s not like jewelry or anything fancy,” Diego said, setting the bag on Klaus’ lap. 

“I am definitely still excited,” Klaus said, ripping out all the tissue paper and throwing it to the ground enthusiastically like a little kid. So cute. When he looked down in the bag he laughed and held a hand over his heart, then smiled at Diego with so much love. “That’s so sweet, thank you. Now you’re just showing off, remembering my favorite candy, too.”

“I was going to open them up and just give you a whole bag of blue ones but I didn’t want to waste the others,” Diego said, but Luther slapped a hand on the table lightly and leaned forward, staring intently at the bag.

“Blue what? What the hell is it? Are you ever going to take it out of the bag?” Luther said, and Diego couldn’t believe Luther actually made him laugh. At this point Luther was the only one that hadn’t seen the present. He was going to be so disappointed when it was just a bag of jolly ranchers. Klaus laughed too and pulled one of the bags out to show him, and then Luther relaxed back in his chair. “Oh, that’s cool. The watermelon ones are the best.”

“Grape is the best, actually,” Diego said, because he couldn’t help but be contrary whenever Luther spoke, even if he wasn’t trying to start shit.

“Grape is literally the worst flavor of everything so of course you would like it,” Luther said with a nod like he should have known.

“You’re both wrong, it’s definitely the blue ones,” Klaus said, and Allison had heard enough. She rolled her eyes and started stacking dishes.

“Someone help me clean up. I would normally just leave it for the staff but I let everyone have the night off,” Allison said, and Klaus immediately hopped to it. 

“I haven’t done shit all day and you guys have been so busy, let me,” he said, picking up dishes, too. That was good, because Diego needed to talk to Luther for a second.

“Hey, I keep forgetting to tell you,” Diego started, and then continued once Luther looked at him. 

“Agnes sent you some jars of her homemade jam. They’re on the counter in the kitchen.”

“Excellent, I love that stuff and I don’t get down there often enough to get it, usually,” Luther said with a nod.

“There’s a thin blue book in there I think you should read, too,” Diego said. He watched Luther’s eyebrows knit together. Allison and Klaus took two armloads of dishes and leftovers to the kitchen, leaving them alone.

“Okay? I don’t know if I’ll have time but I’ll see what I can do,” Luther said with raised eyebrows. “I never expect you to be the one to give me book recommendations.”

“It’s not a regular book. It’s a journal of sorts, and I just think you need to read it more than I do,” Diego said, and he was trying to keep that sentence as neutral as possible, but it was hard when he knew what it contained. “And hey, it’s going to feel like I’m giving it to you to hurt you, but that’s not the case. I just think you need to know what it says.”

“Can’t wait,” Luther said with a note of sarcasm, then yawned behind his hand. “Alright, let’s help get this all cleaned up. I haven’t been home this early in a while, I could use the extra sleep.”

“It’s like seven o’clock,” Diego said, but he started to help pick up anyway. 

“And? I’ve gotta be up early to make sure the plastic surgeon is ready for you first thing,” Luther said, then added. “Don’t take Klaus with you, by the way. Leave him here with Allison.”

“Why?” Diego asked, freezing and frowning while holding the cake platter in both hands. 

“Because the side of town the office is on is littered with drug dealers and junkies and you’re going to be in the back of that building for over an hour. Hazel doesn’t want to have to babysit him, so he would have to sit in the waiting room alone the entire time and I don’t think either of you want him to be put in that position,” Luther explained, and at least three things he said pissed Diego off one right after the other, but he couldn’t argue the logic. That would absolutely make Klaus crack regardless of how dedicated he was to sobriety, at least this soon after detoxing, and Diego definitely didn’t want that either.

“Why are you even sending _me_ to a place like that, then? Is this like a reputable place or am I going to be maimed even worse than I already am?” Diego asked, because that was his secondary concern. He was already having second thoughts about having it done, anyway, so hearing that he was going to some sketchy side of town to have a serious procedure done did not make him feel better.

“The doctor doesn’t actually work in that building, but she can’t just let you stroll into the office where her regular practice is during business hours, either. So she’s just setting up in that building for the morning,” Luther said, which of course made sense but still made Diego uneasy. It’s not like he had much choice in the matter, anyway.

When he and Luther walked in the kitchen carrying the rest of the dinner mess, the first thing Diego noticed was Klaus leaning against the cupboard that he’d seen Allison pull the wine bottle from earlier. Allison was standing in front of Klaus with her arms crossed, and Diego instantly knew Klaus was trying to stop her from having a drink. It was probably a futile attempt, Allison could easily get one from somewhere else no doubt, but maybe having someone tell her no was enough. Diego had never met anyone as persuasive as Klaus, so it wasn’t impossible. 

“I’m not getting knocked up right now, who cares!” he just barely heard Allison say to Klaus.

“You don’t -” Klaus started, but then he noticed the others walk in and stopped speaking. He pushed himself away from the cupboard and walked over to take some stuff from Luther’s hands since Diego was only carrying a cake and a couple dirty glasses under one arm. 

Diego had to walk by Allison to set the cake on the counter and for a split second he thought about saying something nice or comforting, but decided against it. Maybe someday he could feel close enough to her for them to have those kinds of conversations, but not yet. Plus, he was sure Klaus already said anything he could think to say, anyway, on top of the fact that Klaus hadn’t actually told him about Allison’s issues. She would no doubt think Klaus spilled her secrets to Diego, when the reality was that seeing her not drinking for one day was a noticeable difference to anyone. 

“Thanks again everyone, for actually giving a shit about my birthday. It’s easily the best one I’ve had in a decade,” Klaus said out loud.

“Aww, well we’re happy to celebrate with you,” Allison said cheerfully, apparently not holding any grudges about being wine-blocked. “I have to decorate the living room tomorrow morning if you want to help again. I’m breaking out the glitter pumpkins.”

“Always with the glitter decorations,” Luther said with a sigh, but Klaus talked over him.

“Fuck yes, I’ll be there- wait, you have your appointment tomorrow, right?” Klaus asked, turning to Diego.

“Yeah, but you should stay here and decorate,” Diego said, glancing at Luther. He didn’t want to lie to Klaus _ever,_ but there was no way ‘ _you’ll be too tempted_ ’ wouldn’t hurt his feelings. All he could do was say something else that was true and hope it was a good enough reason. “You won’t be able to come in the room while they do it, anyway, because they use a laser. The paper said it only takes 45 minutes, so I’ll be back here in no time.”

“Okay,” Klaus said with a concerned frown. “If you don’t need me, I guess I can stay.”

“It’s for the best,” Luther supplied. “I’m the one that told him to leave you here for this particular appointment, because it’s only concerning him. The less often you two are out together in this city, the better, in case anyone recognizes you from the paper. Not to mention it’s in a sketchy part of town and Hazel doesn’t want to have to babysit two people.”

“Okay,” Klaus said again, but he was squinting his eyes at Luther, no doubt reading what nobody else could see. He knew he was being lied to, and Diego knew he was going to have to take Klaus upstairs and explain even if it made him feel bad. He was just too smart and perceptive to believe half-truths, and Diego didn’t feel good about even trying to make him in the first place. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning, Allison.”

“Yes! I’ll bring breakfast again,” Allison said, then yawned so wide Diego saw a silver filling in one of her molars before she covered her mouth. “Sorry, long day.”

“It’s definitely relax time, before my pager goes off again. On second thought,” Luther said, then he unclipped it from his belt loop, opened a drawer full of kitchen utensils and tossed the pager inside, then shut the drawer. “They can wait until the morning.”

That made everyone smile, even Diego, because he knew it meant a lot to Allison and she deserved it. Just like Klaus deserved the truth. As the couples parted ways toward their own bedrooms, Diego felt calm about the decision. He and Klaus had overcome so much already, and part of that was because they had both been brutally honest and real with each other since the beginning, even when it was uncomfortable. No reason to break that habit now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Next chapter will be posted 1/15! (on time hopefully lol)  
> \- I've missed y'all! I hope you had good holidays and a nice break ♥


	25. The Fool: Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** I know. I knowwww it's late, I'm so sorry. Unexpectedly busy weekend and also some mental health struggles but everything should be fine now.  
> ** How about 14k worth of fluff and relationship building to make it better? (and perhaps a revealing surprise :D)

_** October 2nd, 2015, 7:15am ** _

When Diego’s alarm went off Klaus woke up just enough to decide _not_ to wake up yet. He would have got up to kiss him goodbye, but knowing that he was being left behind still left just enough sting that Klaus didn’t want to watch Diego leave. He tried not to be hurt by it, he told Diego he understood, and really he did, but it still upset him that Luther and Diego thought he couldn’t be trusted by himself. 

They weren’t wrong, and perhaps that’s what hurt the most. He still had a problem, he still _was_ a problem. He didn’t even voice when he was having cravings or weak moments anymore because it was basically always. At any given moment he was afraid of relapsing, of ruining everything and sabotaging all the effort people had made to get them this far. And now Diego was on his way to do something incredibly taxing emotionally, and painful on top of it, and Klaus couldn’t be there with him, couldn’t be there _for_ him. He had to stay home with a babysitter like a little kid that would drink bleach if left to his own devices. As much as he appreciated Diego telling him the truth, he almost wished he wouldn’t have. At least then he could be blissfully unaware that everyone thought he was a hopeless addict that couldn’t control himself. 

While Klaus tried to fall back asleep he listened to Diego get ready while trying not to make noise. When he heard the scratching of a pen Klaus cracked an eye open just enough to see Diego leaving him another note with the dim pink glow from the morning horizon, and then he leaned down and kissed Klaus’ temple and left. The scent of toothpaste and aftershave lingered in the room, and it made Klaus miss Diego already, and triggered anxiety about him never coming back. They were irrational thoughts, but they plagued Klaus anyway. If Diego wanted to leave him, this would be the time. What if the note on the table was a goodbye note? Or even worse, if someone recognized Diego and called the authorities while he was out in the city? Klaus would never see him again. He would be alone again, and for a few minutes he’d convinced himself that was what was going to happen.

When a knock on the door startled Klaus he sat up in bed so fast it made his head swim. He blinked in the harsh morning light and realized at least an hour had passed since Diego left. He must have stressed himself out so hard he fell back to sleep without realizing it. 

“Hey, open up, Sunshine!” Allison called from behind the door. Klaus rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms before flinging the blankets off and heading for the door. When he opened it Allison was holding two plates of pancakes with a syrup bottle hanging from her finger by the handle and smiling brightly, until she saw his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah I just… slept weird,” he said with a gravely, tired voice. He stepped back so she could come into the room and set the plates on Diego’s side table. The smell of the food made his stomach grumble, and it perked him up just a little.

“Well maybe some breakfast will help,” she said, throwing the comforter up over the pillows and hopping up on Diego’s side of the bed, just like she had the morning before. 

This time she was fully dressed for the day instead of in her pajamas, though, and it was making Klaus feel unpresentable in just his grey leggings with no shirt. He crossed his arms over his bare chest and walked over to his side of the bed, then noticed the note from Diego. He picked it up and read it, smiling for the first time that morning. ‘ _Don’t forget your meds. Have fun with Allison. I’ll be back before you know it. I love you._ ’

“Aww, there you are,” Allison said, watching his mood shift right before her eyes. He blushed and rolled his eyes but it didn’t stop him from smiling. “Sit and eat before it gets cold.”

Before he did as he was told he opened the drawer of his side table and pulled out his yellow journal, then tucked the note from Diego next to the other one from yesterday, and the very first one from the motel in Madison that he’d been using as a bookmark. It had been miraculously stuck in between the CDs he’d left in the car, along with his polaroid pictures, so he hadn’t lost them with his coat and clothes that night in Montana when they’d had to flee. He left the notes in the journal but pulled out the small stack of Polaroid pictures, then sat down. 

“Look,” Klaus said, handing Allison the most recent picture. 

Last night when he and Diego had returned from dinner, the first thing Klaus did was find one of the cigarettes that Allison had given him and went out on the balcony for a smoke. While he was out there minding his own business, leaning his elbows on the balcony railing and staring at the distant glow of city lights, there was a flash from behind him. When he turned around he saw Diego standing in the room behind him holding the Polaroid camera, catching a new picture spitting out of the slot.

“Aww, that looks so good! That dress is great on you,” Allison said, handing him back the candid picture. “You look like a fancy woman in the 20s pensively smoking on a hotel balcony. You just need some long gloves.”

“I could definitely rock some long satin gloves with a big shiny diamond ring over them,” Klaus said with a nod.

“Holding a martini glass,” Allison added, making Klaus laugh. 

“Yes, exactly,” he said, leaning over to bump her shoulder with his. “Thank you.”

“For what?” 

“I don’t know, accepting me, I guess? Playing along with my silly fantasies,” he said with a shrug.

“They aren’t silly! Who doesn’t imagine themselves in ideal scenarios?” Allison said, then handed him his plate of pancakes.

“I don’t think Diego does. He’s very realistic and in the moment, you know?” Klaus said. He sighed. “I guess it’s harder to let yourself dream when you’re not sure if you’ll even have a future.” 

“He will, and so will you. Five and Luther are making sure you do,” she said, then handed him a fork and the syrup bottle. Klaus didn’t know how to respond to that, so he just took the items and poured syrup over his pile of pancakes. While he did that the little stack of polaroid pictures tipped and splayed out just enough that Allison caught a glimpse of Agnes in one of the shots. She picked it up with a smile. “Aww, I love her. She’s such a sweet lady.”

“She is!” Klaus exclaimed with his mouth full of pancake. Once he swallowed he continued. “She told me I could call her ‘mom’ since I don’t have one.”

“I believe it. She immediately accepted me as Luther’s girlfriend from the moment she met me. Can’t say the same for Reginald, though,” Allison said with an eyeroll. “But hey-”

“Hmm?”

“You have a sister now, too, if you want one,” she said, catching him off guard. He wasn’t ready for that many new feelings this early in the morning, especially while he was already juggling so many other ones since he woke up ten minutes ago. All he could manage to do was smile, nod and force out a few words. 

“That would be really nice,” he said, and he meant it, he was just having a hard time summoning up the correct emotional response. 

Allison was great - kind, generous, funny, supportive, and a lot more genuine than Klaus had been expecting her to be. And he _trusted_ her, which is something he hadn’t been able to do with any of the people he’d made friends with at Craig’s place. Any of them would have, and sometimes did, throw him under the bus in a second if they thought it would win them brownie points with Craig, or if they could make money at his expense. Allison had no reason to be like that, though.

They ate their breakfast mostly in comfortable silence, which was good because it gave Klaus some time to collect all his thoughts and try to be normal for the day. He could feel that his brain was trying really hard to make him backslide into another depressive episode, but he was trying his best to fight it. When Diego got home he was going to need love and support, and Klaus couldn’t give him that if he was lying under the blankets and hiding from the world. Suck it up, buttercup.

While Allison was waiting for Klaus to change his clothes she looked through the rest of his pictures, and he heard her giggling to herself. It was pretty chilly in there, so he picked out a plain black, fuzzy sweater that Allison had given him, one he really adored because the sleeves covered most of his fingers and he felt like an angsty teenager again. If this sweater didn’t cost more than a diamond ring he would punch holes in the sleeves for his thumbs, but he couldn’t bring himself to damage it. He pulled on distressed black jeans over the leggings, leaving grey fabric to show through the artful rips in the knees and thighs, and he tried to ignore how much booty he _didn’t_ have to fill out the back. Overall he felt cozy and cute anyway, so he forgave himself for having the smallest butt of all time. He was just happy at least one pair of Allison’s jeans had fit him well enough. 

“I didn’t know Diego smoked,” Allison said as soon as he stepped out of the closet. She held up a picture of Diego that Klaus had taken at some point on their road trip, just of him sitting in the driver’s seat, staring at the road with a cigarette between his lips. He looked super hot and moody, Klaus loved that picture. 

“He doesn’t anymore. He quit after he got shot,” Klaus said, walking over and taking the picture from her just to appreciate again. It was never too many times when it was Diego he was looking at.

“So why does he look annoyed when you smoke?” she asked, making his smile fall a little. 

“I don’t know. I guess because he wants me to be healthy and I do like everything I can to make sure I’m not - drinking, drugs, smoking, whoring - you know, all that self-destructive shit,” Klaus said with a shrug, then tossed the picture back on the pile that Allison had spread out in front of her. “Are you ready to go decorate? If we don’t get started he’s going to be back before we even get down there.”

“Oh, yeah I’m ready! I was just waiting for you,” she said, sweeping up all the pictures in a stack and handing them to Klaus so she could collect the breakfast dishes. 

While he was tucking them back in his journal he remembered he needed to take his pill, but he just did not want _sink water_. It made the medicine taste even worse because it had a powdery coating, so he needed something carbonated or at least flavored. He would drink water later when Diego was home, because it made him happy, anyway. He popped one of the pills out of the blister pack and tucked it in the tiniest pocket on his jeans and then caught up with Allison at the door while she was setting the dishes on the ground in the hallway.

“Hey, can we stop by the kitchen so I can get like a glass of juice or something?” he asked when she straightened up.

“I can just have some sent over,” she said, moving past him back into the bedroom. He watched her pick up the phone from the dock on the wall and dial the staff. Klaus didn’t like that; they could have just as easily walked to the kitchen, but he supposed that’s just the way things were when you could afford to hire people to be at your beck and call. When Allison hung up the phone she seemed unfazed by this as she joined him in the hall again. “It will be waiting for us in the living room by the time we get down there.”

As promised, Sylvia was just setting down a silver tray on the wooden coffee table between two old but elegant couches that were facing each other in front of a fireplace. Above that was an enormous portrait of Luther as a teenager and Klaus didn’t like that either. Even worse, there was a second bigger fireplace toward the back of the room with an even bigger portrait of Reginald Hargreeves over it. It was tall enough to reach the open second story, since this room was shaped almost exactly like the library upstairs; two stories with two balcony style floors on either side of the second story. Looking up the ceiling was high and had two ugly iron chandeliers hanging from it, and like, a bunch of dead animal mounts that Klaus also didn’t care for. This room was huge and gaudy and dated, and that portrait made him feel like Reginald was judging him for even being in there, cold, dead eyes following him around the room. There was a pretty great bar in front of the front wall, though, and if Klaus was allowed to drink he would be sampling all that old liquor in fancy rich-guy decanters, no doubt. 

“Ugh, I hate this room,” Allison said, marching over to the front wall behind the bar, the only one with curtains, and throwing them open to let some natural light in.

“I don’t blame you,” Klaus said, then walked over to the tray to pick up the small pitcher of apple juice and pour himself some in a teacup. There was also a small carafe with steam rising out of it, another tea cup, and several tea bags arranged in a neat line next to them. After he took the pill with juice, he poured some hot water out of the carafe into his cup and ripped open a tea bag then dunked it in the water. 

“Can I get you anything else, sir?” Sylvia asked, making Klaus jump because he didn’t realize she was still standing near him.

“Oh! No, this is already wonderful, thank you, Sylvia,” he said, raising the steaming teacup in a little solute. She nodded and turned to leave. 

“Would you mind making me one, too?” Allison asked when she noticed what he was doing. 

“Of course. I’m glad you skipped the mimosas this morning,” Klaus said, and she rolled her eyes as she stopped next to him.

“Don’t remind me,” she said with a sigh, watching him tear open another tea bag and set it in the second teacup. 

“Did you talk to Luther last night?” he asked, only because asking if they had sex was rude, but he was extremely curious.

“We did, but not about baby stuff. I didn’t want to make him shut down when we were finally having a good time just hanging out,” she said smiling and shrugging at the same time. “I think he wants to be better, he _says_ he does, but I know it’s… it’s just not easy with everything he’s got on his plate.”

“Aww, well at least he’s acknowledging the issue now. He already made sure he was home last night when you asked him to be,” Klaus said optimistically.

“That wasn’t for me, that was for Diego,” Allison said, and Klaus’ eyebrows shot up. He was not expecting that sentence whatsoever. Allison noticed his face and laughed. “Luther wants Diego to like him so much, he just won’t say so because he understands why Diego hates him and doesn’t know how to fix it.”

“I don’t know if that can be done, but maybe they will sort it out while we’re here,” Klaus said. “But Luther could start by changing his tone when he talks because Diego feels like he’s being condescending even when he’s trying to be nice.”

“How do you feel about heights?” Allison asked, switching subjects so fast Klaus got whiplash. Maybe she didn’t want to talk about Luther, and that was fair. It wasn’t an easy subject, but on the other hand, he had just offered valid advice that she could pass on to Luther if she really wanted them to stop hating each other but she seemingly brushed it off.

“Uh, I guess I’m fine with them, why?” 

“Because I’m not so much, and I need you to hang spider webs on the chandeliers,” she said, looking up toward the ceiling. “We pay the staff to dust this whole mansion all year, and then I hang fake cobwebs for Halloween.”

“I’m sure they love that,” Klaus said with a chuckle. “At least this room already looks haunted, so we shouldn’t have too much work to do.”

“Ugh, tell me about it,” Allison said, then blew on her teacup. “Okay that’s going to be too hot for a while, I’m going to start unpacking the totes.”

Allison made good on her promise - there were tons of glitter pumpkins of every color, and more lights and spiderwebs and skeletons and ghosts. He liked that she stuck with more classic Halloween-y decorations as opposed to the bloody murder and severed-body-part, serial killer type stuff. Everything had a whimsical childhood nostalgia feel and it made him smile. He had seen enough real blood this year as it was, so he was happy to stick plastic spiders on webs instead. It was enough to shake him out of his sulky mood, and Allison was clearly enjoying his company, too. They didn’t even notice Diego walk in the living room until he cleared his throat.

“Shit, I didn’t see you there!” Klaus said, dropping the life-sized skeleton he was holding in a heap on the couch so he could race over to Diego by the entrance. He was going to throw himself in Diego’s arms, but he halted right in front of him when he saw the small rectangle bandage over his eyebrow. He gasped and reached up to brush Diego’s hair off his forehead instead. “Does it hurt?”

“Not yet, it’s still mostly numb from the shot, but I imagine it will later,” Diego said, but he brushed off Klaus’ hand and wrapped his arms around his waist instead. He must have needed the hug, and it melted Klaus’ heart to feel Diego squeeze him tight like they hadn’t seen each other in months rather than hours. Klaus wrapped his arms around Diego’s shoulders and hugged him just as tight, melting even further when Diego whispered ‘ _I missed you_ ’ against his shoulder.

“I missed you, too,” Klaus said softly, rubbing Diego’s back between his shoulder blades. He could sense that Diego had a harder time with the tattoo removal than he was letting on, but he wasn’t going to press him about it, at least not until they were alone.

“You guys got a lot done,” Diego said as he finally pulled out of the hug, glancing around the room. He snorted when he saw Luther’s portrait over the fireplace. “Why do rich dudes want to hang paintings of themselves all over?”

“Vanity, and because portraits are traditionally a symbol of wealth and accomplishment, and a way to immortalize their existence as great men,” Klaus said, laughing when Diego rolled his eyes at his lengthy but accurate reasoning. Of course Diego hadn’t been looking for the real answer, he just wanted to insult Luther, but Klaus liked when he actually knew the answer to things.

“If it makes it any less ridiculous, Luther hates that portrait, too,” Allison said from over by the bar where she was replacing white candle sticks with black ones in a candelabra. “Reginald made him sit for it.”

“And yet there it remains,” Diego said under his breath.

“Are you hungry? You didn’t eat before you left, did you?” Allison asked, collecting all the white candles and carrying them over to the boxes in the middle of the room by them.

“I’m alright, thank you. Hazel and I stopped for gyros at a food truck,” Diego said, then tried to stifle a yawn behind the back of his hand. “Shit, sorry. That numbing stuff made me tired.”

“You also left at the asscrack of dawn. Why does everyone schedule everything so early around here?” Klaus asked. “I can’t remember ever waking up before noon before I met you, and now I have an alarmingly healthy sleep schedule.”

“You’re welcome,” Diego said with a smirk.

“Do you want to go upstairs and take a nap?” Klaus asked, but Diego immediately shook his head.

“No, I think I just need coffee and I’ll be fine,” Diego said, yawning again and then wincing as the action stretched the muscles in his forehead. “And maybe some ice.”

“Okay, I think Allison can take it from here. Let’s go get you some ice,” Klaus said, not waiting for a reply as he took Diego’s hand and dragged him out of the room.

It took them both a stupid amount of time to find a ziplock bag to put ice in, and once they did, Diego ended up finding a real ice pack in the freezer door. Klaus held the ice pack and hopped up on the counter while Diego figured out the coffee pot, and he couldn’t help but stare. Diego doing anything was fun for Klaus to watch, especially when he didn’t notice Klaus was watching. As soon as the coffee pot started percolating Diego reached up and touched the bandage on his forehead gingerly with a wince.

“The numbing shot must be wearing off, then?” Klaus asked. Diego nodded and Klaus clicked his tongue, then waved Diego over. “Come here.”

He did as he was told, walking toward Klaus and settling between his knees, then wrapped his arms around Klaus’ waist again. He was so pretty even with a forehead bandage, Klaus got distracted just staring into his eyes for a few moments before he remembered why he called Diego over. He would just never get over how it felt to have Diego looking back at him like that, the way his heart beat faster just from knowing Diego was just as smitten for him.

“Are you going to stare at me all day or are you going to put that ice on my head,” Diego asked with a smirk. Klaus chuckled and rolled his eyes, then picked up the small blue gel ice pack and held it gently to Diego’s forehead.

“Tell me if I’m pressing too hard,” Klaus said, watching Diego’s eyes flutter closed.

“It’s fine,” Diego said. “It doesn’t ache really, it just stings.”

“Well yeah they zapped it with a laser. Did they give you any other aftercare instructions?” 

“Just keep a bandage on for three days, use antibiotic ointment and don’t get it wet on purpose,” Diego said. “They should see the aftercare for a prison tattoo. It’s a miracle I’m alive.”

“I believe it. We’ve both been granted a lot of life saving miracles, huh?” Klaus said quietly. “Like you showing up in that alley at the right moment.”

Diego opened his eyes at that, looking up at Klaus like he had never thought of it that way, but it was true. Even if Craig hadn’t killed Klaus right then, it was only a matter of time before he pissed him off bad enough to do it. He didn’t realize it at the time, but he’d been wanting a way out long before Diego ever showed up. Because even if Craig didn’t kill him, a john certainly could have; plenty had pushed the limit or threatened to if he didn’t comply. It would have been easy, nobody would have ever come looking for him, and yet somehow he’d always made it out alive. Maybe because he was destined to wind up right here - happy, sober and loved more sincerely than he’d ever been in his life. 

His words seemed to hit Diego with a rush of sentiment, because he turned his head and softly kissed Klaus’ wrist next to his face. There he goes, melting Klaus like a popsicle in the sun again. Diego brought his hand up and moved Klaus’ away from his face, then leaned forward on the balls of his feet. Klaus sensed it was coming so he was already leaning down for the kiss, dropping the ice pack on the counter so he could reach up and hold Diego by the jaws with both hands. What he wasn’t expecting was for Diego to wrap his arms tighter around his waist to slide him closer to the edge, Diego’s chest pressing warm and firm against Klaus’ stomach. God, he loved this man so much. 

And then someone cleared their throat at the doorway, ruining everything. They both turned their faces to see who it was, and then Klaus felt Diego jerk backward out of his hands as they realized it was Luther. That hurt. He knew Diego didn’t like PDA all that much, but the look of shame on his face like they’d been doing something wrong was a bigger mood killer than Luther showing up.

“Uh, sorry, don’t stop on my account,” Luther said, holding up his hands and looking almost as embarrassed as Diego. “I was just looking for Allison.”

“She’s in the living room,” Klaus said tonelessly, but he was watching Diego fold his arms and look at the ground instead of Luther.

“I was just there, I didn’t see her,” Luther said, then shook his head and started walking backward. “Carry on, I’ll go check the bedroom.”

As Luther retreated Klaus watched Diego close his eyes and let out a long breath he must have been holding the whole time. Diego still didn’t want to look up, but he was going to have to talk about this whether he wanted to or not. Klaus wasn’t going to just pretend it didn’t happen, even if he understood all the reasons it happened. He needed to hear Diego acknowledge why he reacted that way so they could unpack the reason behind it. 

“Are you afraid to kiss me in front of Luther?” he asked directly. Diego looked miserable, just completely ashamed, but Klaus wasn’t going to back off. He hopped down off the counter and crossed his arms, but kept the few feet of space between them. “Look at me, Diego.”

Diego looked up slowly, and the fear in his face made Klaus’ heart hurt. He thought Klaus was going to _yell_ at him. His flinching, anxious body language made that perfectly clear.

“I’m not mad at you,” Klaus said, hoping to ease some of the anxiety. “I just want you to tell me why you pulled away like that. Are you ashamed to be with me?”

“No!” Diego said, taking a step forward but not close enough to touch. “No, it’s not that. I’m sorry, I just-...”

“Is it because it’s gay?” Klaus pressed, watching Diego bite his lip because he didn’t want to answer. 

“No... O-okay, maybe a little,” Diego said closing his eyes for a second and swallowing hard. When he opened them he took another step forward and reached out to rest his hand on Klaus’ crossed arms. “It’s a lot of things, and I am so sorry I did that. I- I just… I’ve never done anything like that in front of Luther and it freaked me out to be surprised like that. And I guess I don’t want him to see me be…”

“Gay?”

“More like _vulnerable,_ but a little bit of that too, I guess. I’m sorry, I know that’s not a good excuse, but I-”

“I get it. You don’t want your rival brother to think you’re weak, and you think being gay makes you look vulnerable.”

“No, being _in love_ does,” Diego said with such raw sincerity that it made Klaus’ heart skip a beat. 

Klaus nodded even though he didn’t agree, because he knew Diego was raised with a domineering man that made him believe feelings were weakness, and then had that training further enforced on him in prison. The fact that it was Luther that walked in just made it ten times worse. Klaus _understood,_ but he hoped this could be a learning experience for Diego at the very least.

“Have you ever considered that maybe letting Luther see that more vulnerable side of you, that letting him see your _humanity_ is a good thing?” Klaus asked. Diego frowned and let the question hang in the air, like he wasn’t sure if it was good or not. 

“I don’t really see why that matters. He thinks I’m garbage either way. Making out with my boyfriend in his kitchen isn’t going to suddenly change that,” Diego said, taking his hand off Klaus’ arms and crossing his own arms, too.

“I don’t think that’s true. Maybe it was before we got here, but I think he’s realizing he was wrong about you, about both of us, and that’s a good thing,” Klaus said, then sighed because he could feel Diego’s response before he said it.

“I don’t give a shit what he thinks of me,” Diego said, his frown deepening until it stretched his sore forehead too much and made him wince. Klaus fought back the eyeroll he so wanted to make at that sentiment.

“That’s clearly _not_ true, though, can’t you see that? You care what he thinks so much that you would hurt me to preserve your tough guy illusion,” Klaus said, but continued before Diego could argue. “Just admit to yourself that you care what he thinks, and then figure out why you _want_ him to think you're an asshole.”

“Because _he’s_ an asshole! Have we not established that already?” Diego said with a raised voice, but he quickly reeled it in and looked immediately guilty. “God, I’m so sorry I hurt you and I won’t do that again, but please don’t diminish the fact that he’s treated me like shit my entire life. I want him to think I’m not going to take his condescending bullshit. I want him to think…”

“Don’t stop, keep talking. I think you’re getting somewhere,” Klaus said, ignoring the way his anxiety flared right along with Diego’s temper. He focused on Diego’s conflicted expression instead. He could see Diego’s chest moving with anxious breathing, too. He shook his head again.

“I don’t know what I want him to think,” Diego said quietly, then tried to drag a hand down his face but hurt himself again. “Fuck, I hate being here. I hate that this was my only option. I hate _needing_ him. Ugh, just saying that feels like poisoning myself.”

“I know you do, honey, and I get it, but hear me out. Your anger and pain concerning him are so valid, but lashing out at him, punching him even if he deserves it, fighting him every step of the way while he’s trying to help us - it’s not making anything better or easier on yourself, regardless of what he thinks,” Klaus said. “I know what he did to you and to your mom was unforgivable, and I’m not saying you should just forget about it. But also consider that he’s here now, he’s helping you now that he knows what he did was wrong.”

“Does he know that?” Diego said, and Klaus knew it was rhetorical but he was going to answer anyway. 

“I think so. Allison says he does, and he wants to bury the hatchet with you but he doesn’t know how to talk to you without it getting ugly,” Klaus said, because he knew he could trust Diego to not repeat what Allison had told him. Plus, she wouldn’t have told him if she didn’t want it to get to Diego, anyway, right? She wanted them to get along just as much as Klaus did.

“He could start by apologizing. I have yet to hear a sincere apology for what he did to me, just his excuses for why he did it,” Diego said, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “He only said he was sorry for not visiting my mom more, but he only said that after I bloodied him up and that doesn’t even count.”

“Well you just gave him that journal last night, right? Even you said yourself that Reginald had manipulated him into making the choices he did, so maybe give him a chance to digest what he reads and see if he has more to say,” Klaus said. “But I have a very important question to ask, and you don’t have to answer me now, but just think about it, okay?”

“Okay?” Diego said with a small shrug.

“If Luther sincerely apologizes, really acknowledges how his choices impacted your life… would you be willing to forgive him?” Klaus asked, searching Diego’s eyes for his true feelings in case he couldn’t answer. He could see the wheels turning in Diego’s mind as he grappled with that concept, could feel the violent resentment in his heart that wanted to say no, but then he _didn’t._

“I guess I could try, if only because I know my mom would want me to, and because I already hit him as hard as I could and it didn’t make me feel better,” Diego said, then sighed. “But he’s never going to come down off his high horse so it doesn’t matter.”

“Well I’m glad you will at least consider it, because I think it’s coming, especially after you gave him that journal and he realizes just how maliciously his dad treated his mother and alienated him from her, and from you,” Klaus said, and then he wondered how they got this far away from the original kissing issue.

“Do you want to go for that walk we haven’t gotten around to?” Diego asked, evidently done with that conversation, and Klaus couldn’t blame him. He knew how sensitive the subject was, and Diego had already admitted more than he’d probably have liked to, as it was. 

“Yeah, I would like that, but hey,” Klaus said, finally reaching out to hold Diego’s hand that had dropped to his side. When he had Diego’s full eye contact and attention he continued. “Listen, I know it’s complicated, and I’m not saying you have to be affectionate with me around Luther like all the time, but please don’t pull away like we’re doing something we should be ashamed of next time, okay?”

“I won’t, and I promise I wouldn’t have if it hadn’t been a surprise like that, I just -” 

“I know, knee jerk reaction, it’s okay. _This_ time,” Klaus said with a wink, then let go of Diego’s hand so he could wrap his arms around his ribs and hug him. Diego hugged him even closer and sighed against his shoulder.

“I’ve never been ashamed of you, I _love_ you,” he whispered against Klaus’ shoulder as he squeezed him reassuringly. Klaus could feel the love wrap around him like a warm blanket from the dryer. He didn’t need to be psychic to believe Diego, but he could just _sense_ that it was true. Diego was nothing if not sincere. He never said things he didn’t mean, especially things like that.

“I love you, too,” Klaus said, then patted the back of Diego’s arm to let him go. “Alright, let's take that walk before something comes up again.”

“Wait, I’m going to pour a cup of coffee for the way,” Diego said, pulling back from Klaus but kissing his cheek quickly before letting him go all the way. All Klaus could do was stand there and feel giddy about it while he watched Diego walk to a cupboard and pull out a black metal travel mug with a silver ‘H’ on it. He kept talking while he poured coffee into the mug. “I found these last night while I was looking for dishes. I know you don’t care for coffee but there’s another one in there if you want some. It’s purple and has rhinestones on it but I feel like that wouldn’t bother you.”

“I’ll be alright, I just had tea not that long ago,” Klaus said, but really the only reason he didn’t want a warm mug to hold is because he didn’t feel like carrying it when he would rather be holding Diego’s hand instead.

The courtyard garden was beautiful despite being later in the year; full of white, pink and red roses, purple and white irises, a ton of trees, bushes and hedges trimmed neatly along the thick, grey stone path. The sun was out but it was still chilly, the breeze making Klaus shiver even under his thick sweater. Diego insisted he was fine, but once his hot coffee was gone Klaus suspected he was colder than he’d been letting on. He could feel how cold Diego’s fingers were in his hand as he explained to Klaus what it was like to have a tattoo zapped with a laser on your face while they walked together. 

Diego was taking it a lot better than Klaus had expected, seemingly more eager to be rid of the tattoo now that the process had started than he was before it happened. Klaus couldn’t lie to himself, he was going to miss that tattoo, but he would never voice that thought. He knew it was a big source of trauma and shame for Diego, so it was absolutely for the best even if Klaus thought it made him sexier. Not important, he would love Diego regardless of what he looked like, and it’s not like he wasn’t still the sexiest person alive even without the ink.

“She also said a common side effect is that you can have skin discoloration, like patches that are lighter than the rest of your skin, especially on darker skin,” Diego explained, then sighed, and it was the first time he’d seemed troubled by the process.

“It’s okay, even if that happens it won’t detract from how attractive you are,” Klaus said, but he’d misread the sigh. 

“I don’t care about that, really. I’m just worried about it being noticeable to someone that might have already known what was there before, like the cops,” Diego said. “And then if that’s the case then what is the point of even removing it?”

“I think if the cops get close enough to notice a little skin discoloration over your eye then we’ve got bigger concerns,” Klaus said.

“Yeah, it’s not like I can hide this scar, anyway,” Diego said, rolling his eyes.

“You’ll just have to grow your hair out until people forget about us. It’s already more covered now after just a month with no haircut,” Klaus said optimistically.

“What if they don’t forget?” Diego asked, looking over at Klaus with soft eyes that were barely masking his fear of the future. Klaus stopped walking and turned to face him. 

“Hey, we can’t think like that, okay? We’re going to get out of this, we just have to trust that Luther and Five know what they're doing,” Klaus said, squeezing Diego’s hand in his.

“They can’t account for everything,” Diego said, and Klaus sighed. 

“Maybe not, but I still think we will be okay as long as we don’t piss anyone off or draw attention to ourselves,” Klaus said, and he noticed Diego wincing with the eye below the bandage. They needed to get back inside to the ice pack soon, even if Diego wasn’t saying anything. 

“And then what? Do we just get jobs and like, pretend to be normal? How are we going to afford somewhere to live until then? Can we even work in this city if the cops know what we look like? Have you ever done a real job interview? Because I certainly haven’t-”

“Hey, honey, slow down. Where is this coming from?” Klaus asked. 

“It’s always been there, Klaus. I just haven’t wanted to deal with it, because other than you, everything going forward seems fucking pointless or hopeless,” Diego said, then took a deep breath and flutter his lips as he exhaled. “I don’t know, I think having this done just made me think about the _why_ of it all, and I hate not having any easy answers, or even a direction to head toward. At least when we were on the road heading here I had a destination. Now that we’re here I don’t know where I’m going and it’s catching up with me.”

“You’re right, we do need to talk about these things. I’ve been afraid to bring it up, but I’ve been feeling the same way,” Klaus admitted. He didn’t want to freak Diego out by agreeing, but they really did need to start making a game plan for what happens once Five finishes his job. “But listen, when I get afraid I keep thinking back to what you told me at Agnes’: _one day at a time_. We will figure this out, because we always do. But maybe we can meet up with Luther again and see if he has any advice about the long term.”

“I’ve asked him and he just keeps telling me we will discuss it later, but later is coming up really fast. Not to mention I’m tired of him having to hold my hand through all this shit,” Diego said, taking his hand away from Klaus so he could fold his arms, the metal coffee mug he’d been carrying hanging off his finger awkwardly under his elbow. Klaus knew it was only a matter of moments before he clammed up again on the subject, but maybe it was for the best for the time being while he was feeling so pessimistic.

“Okay, then we figure it out ourselves, but I’m starting to freeze. So let’s go inside and get you that ice pack, then go up to the room and try to talk about what our next steps could be,” Klaus said. When Diego nodded Klaus held his hands behind his back for a few seconds, then held them both out in front of him with closed fists. “Pick one.”

“Why?” Diego asked, frowning at Klaus’ hands in front of him.

“Just pick one!” Klaus said with a smirk. Diego eyed him suspiciously, then unfolded his arms to tap Klaus’ right fist. 

Klaus turned it over and opened his hand, revealing just the blossom of a red rose sitting in his palm, only slightly smooshed from being held. It made Diego smile and roll his eyes affectionately, exactly the reaction Klaus was hoping for. He opened his other fist to reveal that it was empty, and Diego had chosen correctly.

“How did you know I would pick the right one?” Diego asked, picking up the rose from Klaus’ hand and smelling it.

“I didn’t,” Klaus said, then winked. Of course he’d reasoned it out and made an educated guess, but he preferred the mystique of it being some psychic trick rather than logic. 

“How long have you been holding that in your other hand where I couldn’t see it?” Diego asked next, still smiling with endearment. 

“Quite some time, actually,” Klaus said with a laugh. “I’m surprised it’s not wilted.”

“Thank you,” Diego said, tucking the rose in his shirt pocket so he could hold Klaus’ hand again.

“What for?” Klaus asked. He knew, but he still wanted to hear it.

“Because… I was feeling cold and afraid, and now I’m not so much,” Diego said, his words making Klaus feel so light he could float away if he wasn’t tethered to earth by holding hands.

“Good,” Klaus said, smirking and bumping Diego’s shoulder. “I’m warm inside but outside I’m still freezing though, so let’s get back up there.”

“Okay, I’m sick of carrying this stupid thing anyway,” Diego said, shaking the travel mug in his other hand.

The trek from the garden all the way back up to their bedroom felt like a journey. When they finally made it Diego seemed relieved to be sitting on the loveseat with his head back, ice pack resting on his forehead without holding it. Klaus wasn’t surprised at all when he nodded off only moments later, legs kicked out with crossed ankles, arms folded over his chest. Klaus spent the afternoon writing in his journal, doing a tarot spread that told him fuck all of importance, and staring at Diego while he slept.

He also tried jotting down ideas for what they could do once they had new identities, but he didn’t get very far. It just made him aware that he had zero job skills outside of being really good at flirting. He stared at his list of possible jobs and almost laughed at how ridiculous he was; bartender, birthday party clown, mall santa, ice cream scooper. God, how was he ever going to make money like a normal person? He couldn’t do math very quickly, he couldn’t handle making phone calls, he couldn’t stand the thought of being a waiter and being fake-nice all day, he also wasn’t very strong so more physically demanding jobs were out, too. He couldn’t drive, so he couldn’t drive a truck or run a cab. He couldn’t do anything. Absolutely useless, just as Craig had always told him. He knew Diego would never go for him turning tricks again, but he really had no idea how they were going to make money otherwise.

“Was I sleeping?” Diego asked, startling himself awake when the ice pack slipped off his head onto his chest.

“Yep, for a couple hours,” Klaus said from over on the bed, his feet up by the pillows. He shut his journal in front of him and hooked the pen clip over the cover. He certainly didn’t want Diego to see what a joke his job prospects were or else he would really be depressed. “How do you feel?” 

“Confused. It doesn’t even feel like I slept, how the fuck has it been hours?” Diego said, grinding his middle fingers into both closed eyes. “What did you do?”

“Waited for you to wake up, mostly,” Klaus said, resting his jaw on his palm as he gazed at Diego.

“What time is it?” Diego asked. Klaus looked over his shoulder at the moon clock on Diego’s bedside table. 

“Just after four,” Klaus said, then they were both startled by a knock on the door. He hadn’t felt that one coming.

“I’ll get it, I have to use the bathroom anyway,” Diego said, standing up and heading for the door. Klaus watched as he opened the door and the same young blond girl that had brought the clothes yesterday was standing there.

“Mr. Hargreeves wanted to inform you that he and the missus will be out for the evening, and that you’re welcome to anything you guys want in the kitchen. Or I can have something sent up, if you would prefer,” the girl said.

“Oh, uh, Klaus,” Diego said, turning to look at him over his shoulder. 

“Just send something up. If we don’t have to leave, I’m good with that,” Klaus said, then added. “Preferably pasta, if you’re taking orders.”

“Apparently he wants pasta delivery,” Diego said to the girl. 

“And chocolate!” Klaus called loud enough for the girl to hear. She nodded and took off before Diego could even say thank you, so he shrugged and shut the door. “Oh, I should have told her some of my birthday cake instead. Oh well, midnight snack, maybe.”

While Diego was using the bathroom Klaus had a cigarette, then sat on the couch while he waited for him to return. When he walked out of the bathroom Klaus noticed his bandage was missing. Klaus frowned. 

“You’re not supposed to take that off, I thought?” Klaus asked as Diego sat on the cushion next to him. He stared at the small patch of irritated skin that was already starting to blister over Diego’s eyebrow, but Klaus had to admit that even after one treatment the tattoo was much lighter. It was shiny, so Diego must have dabbed on some antibiotic ointment already. 

“I wanted to see it,” Diego said, then held up a rectangle of gauze and roll of medical tape. “Can you do this for me? Turns out I don’t have enough coordination in the mirror.”

“Of course,” Klaus said, shifting so he was facing Diego on the cushion and then pushed up his sweater sleeves to his elbows. “Did they shave the top of your eyebrow?” 

“Yeah, a little bit. I guess the bottom of the letters went down into it. My eyebrows must be thicker now than they were when I was a kid,” Diego explained while Klaus ripped three pieces of tape and stuck them to his wrist. It reminded Klaus of Diego’s mugshot from when he was processed, and just how much of a kid he really was.

“There,” Klaus said as he applied the last piece of tape to the bandage, then leaned in to give it a soft kiss. Before he could lean back Diego caught his cheek with his hand and tilted Klaus’ face down to kiss his lips. It was sweet, Klaus could hardly kiss back because unexpected kisses from Diego made him smile so much.

“So what are we doing?” Diego asked as he leaned back, but kept his thumb stroking Klaus’ cheek a few extra seconds.

“I don’t know, we have the night to ourselves. Want to explore this enormous house?” Klaus asked, but Diego shook his head. 

“I feel like exploring this house will lead to nothing but me being annoyed by more things,” Diego said, and Klaus knew he was right. 

“We can go swimming, the pool is heated - oh, wait, you can’t with your bandage, nevermind,” Klaus said, answering himself before he even finished asking.

“I’m good with staying right here. Want to watch something until dinner shows up?” Diego asked, leaning over to the coffee table to grab the remote.

“Sure, but I’m making you pick,” Klaus said, rejecting the remote when Diego handed it to him. 

“I don’t know what anything is, or how to even use this remote,” Diego said. “I’ve trusted your judgement and you haven’t picked anything terrible so far.”

Klaus waffled between Clue and The Rocky Horror Picture Show, because who doesn’t love a Tim Curry cult classic, but ultimately settled on Clue. He didn’t think Diego was quite ready for Rocky Horror, and he decided the murder in Clue was campy enough to not be triggering. Once they settled in Diego got really into the mystery, and Klaus was reminded how much he loved Diego’s serious concerned-concentration face while he watched or read things. Then food came and they lost track of the plot. The dinner cart had two plates of pesto alfredo with a side salad and breadstick, ice water and a bottle of wine that Klaus wasn’t allowed to have, and four Godiva chocolate bars.

“You should taste this raspberry one, it’s better than I thought it would be,” Diego said, snapping off a piece of raspberry chocolate bar and holding it out. 

Klaus’ first instinct was to lean forward and take it from Diego’s fingers with his mouth, but then he had a better idea. He leaned passed Diego’s hand and kissed him instead, his tongue slipping between Diego’s lips to taste the flavor on his tongue. Hearing Diego’s soft moan of surprise was such a turn on Klaus couldn’t stop himself from a hum of pleasure escaping his throat, too. Diego never made noises like that, but either he was getting more comfortable with kissing or he was just that into this particular rich, chocolatey kiss.

It accidentally turned into a steamy makeout, both of them abandoning the TV and the dessert because Klaus finding his way in Diego’s lap was way better. When he eventually started kissing on Diego’s neck he knew it was only a matter of time before he had to stop. He could feel Diego’s breathing getting heavier, and Klaus could just sense how overwhelmed he was becoming even though he wasn’t pumping the breaks yet. Klaus decided it was time to deescalate the intensity himself and give Diego some room to breathe. It was for the best. Klaus’ jeans could only do so much to hide how into this he was, anyway.

“You don’t have to stop yet,” Diego whispered as Klaus gave his neck a final soft kiss and then rested his forehead on his shoulder.

“I know, but we have all night,” Klaus whispered, too. Diego’s nails dragged up and down the back of his neck, not helping at all. He couldn’t admit that he also needed to stop himself, because he could only get so turned on without doing something about it.

“Okay, this is good too,” Diego said, wrapping his arms around Klaus and just holding him comfortably against his chest. Except Klaus couldn’t relax, his libido decided it had been neglected enough in the past week and snuggling was just fanning the flames.

“I think I need a bath. Sorry if I’m smelly,” Klaus said against Diego’s shoulder, and it was only partially a lie. He hadn’t had one in a couple days, he was due for one anyway. He sincerely hoped Diego didn’t offer to join, because he had things to do that Diego wouldn’t want to watch. Fuck, just the brief thought of Diego watching made his dick throb. 

“You’re not smelly,” Diego said, but loosened his hold on Klaus. “Are you going right now?”

“Yeah, I want to before I get too tired,” Klaus said, then wiggled his way off Diego’s lap so he could stand up. He gave him another quick kiss before heading for the bathroom. He knew if it was anyone else they would know exactly why he was running off to the bathroom in the middle of a romantic moment, but Diego seemed to suspect nothing, just that he innocently wanted to bathe.

Afterward Klaus felt 100% better, all clean and satisfied, despite having to get off by himself. Except he forgot his robe out in the bedroom, so he had to walk out in just his towel. While he was away it had started to storm, and Diego had opened the balcony door to let the breeze in and enjoy the sound of thunder and heavy rain. He was lying on the bed just as Klaus had been earlier, socked feet up by the pillows, resting on his elbows and absorbed in one of his novels. When he heard the bathroom door open he closed his book and watched Klaus walk to the closet.

“Hey,” he said quietly. Klaus paused with one hand on the closet door, the other hand holding his white towel around his waist. 

“Yeah?” Klaus asked, and he really couldn’t read the expression on Diego’s face. He seemed curious and hesitant, biting his bottom lip softly. He was debating with himself about something, Klaus could at least figure out that much.

“Can-can I see you?” he finally asked, swallowing hard and then taking a deep breath, like he couldn’t believe he just said that out loud.

“What, like-” Klaus said, gesturing to let his towel fall without actually letting go. Diego nodded and it made Klaus grin and chuckle. “Are you sure?”

Diego nodded again, but then added, “I mean, just… just that, without it being overly uh-”

“I get it,” Klaus said, still smirking even though he had a small spike of anxiety at the idea of Diego actually seeing him naked. Of course it was ridiculous, he’d been naked in front of hundreds of people. Plus, Diego had seen him in just his underwear before, why was he feeling shy now? Isn’t this the progress he wanted? But… now he cared about what Diego thought. He cared if Diego would judge him for his scars from rough tricks, just thinking of Diego knowing all the degrading shit that had been done to this body was enough to make him want to cover up forever. Or worse, if Diego realized he wasn’t into people with dicks afterall.

“You definitely don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Diego said, shaking his head like maybe he was crazy to ask in the first place. He must have noticed Klaus hesitating, but he’d come to the wrong conclusion.

“I’ll show you mine if you show me yours,” Klaus said instead, still smirking and taking a couple steps closer to the bed.

“Okay,” Diego said instantly as if he’d already been expecting that bargain. Klaus’ eyebrows shot up and his smile broadened. “You first, though.”

Klaus nodded, licking his lips and rolling his eyes at how bashful he was feeling. Part of him wanted to make it silly to dispel some of the awkwardness, the other part of him wanted to make it sexy because that’s what he would normally do. He did neither, and just let the towel drop to the floor naturally without letting himself think too hard. His first instinct was to cover his crotch with his hand; he could feel his stomach muscles trying to reflexively contract to make him hunch over and hide himself. He fought it, taking a deep breath as he let his eyes focus on Diego’s face.

For a moment Diego had no readable expression as his eyes flicked over Klaus’ body. Then he swallowed hard again, Klaus could see from the rise and fall of his back that his breathing had picked up. Klaus wished he would say something, but on the other hand, being silently gazed at was… kinda refreshing, in a way. It was immediately better than getting naked for anyone else, because this wasn’t about making some asshole’s dick hard. This was innocent. This was just Diego testing his boundaries, and also experiencing a deeper intimacy without touching. His gaze wasn’t critical or hungry or creepy, it was soft and curious, albeit a little timid, but Klaus understood that.

“Normally I would have this a little neater but, you know, we’ve been busy,” Klaus said, gesturing to his lack of grooming in that department. Shaving his balls just didn’t seem like a priority with everything else going on, on top of Diego not being interested in them until this moment. “I also didn’t want pubes in the same razor I use on my face.”

“You _shave_ down there?” Diego asked, completely focused on Klaus’ face now, his expression confused. It made Klaus laugh and bend to grab his towel and wrap it around himself. 

“I mean yeah, some people appreciate it,” Klaus said, blushing even though he was covered now.

“Is that normal?” Diego asked, pushing himself up and sitting cross legged on the bed. Klaus’ mouth fell open for a moment as he realized Diego had no idea that plenty of adults shaved their junk, like all the time. Of course he wouldn’t really find out before he went to prison, and how many dudes cared about grooming down there behind bars? Klaus snapped his mouth shut quickly and tried not to act too shocked, because he didn’t want to make Diego feel stupid. 

“Yeah, for some people, not everyone, though,” Klaus said, with a shrug. He sat on the foot of the bed where Diego’s upper body had just left, the spot still warm from body heat.

“Why, though?” he asked, his hands folded in his lap, eyes flicking down Klaus’ body again.

“If you could put a banana with hair on it in your mouth or a banana with no hair, which would you choose?” Klaus asked, unable to stop himself from laughing at Diego’s face then.

“Got it,” Diego said, closing his eyes and shaking his head, but the smirk on his face gave him away. He was amused too, he was just shy about finding this kind of thing funny or intriguing rather than terrifying.

“So are you satisfied, or do you want me to start posing?” Klaus asked, leaning back on the bed on his palms. The towel came unfasted at his hip and the side he wasn’t sitting on drifted further into his lap as he moved and exposed a strip of hip and thigh. He didn’t intend for that to happen, but the small hitch in Diego’s breath made Klaus glad that it did.

“Should I get the Polaroid?” Diego asked, and although his tone sounded serious, the affectionate smile on his face said otherwise. Klaus had never been happier to have just recently jerked off, because the thought of _actually_ posing nude while Diego took pictures of him would have gone straight to his dick. If he thought about it too hard it still might.

“I dare you,” Klaus said, but instead Diego grabbed the back of his t-shirt between his shoulder blades and started pulling it over his head and arms. 

Klaus immediately forgot the dare as the shirt landed on the bed, instead focusing on the way Diego’s stomach had a cute, soft little pudge while he was sitting that wasn’t noticeable otherwise. The times Diego had been shirtless around him before were never relaxed situations like this, and Klaus never felt like he had permission to stare like he did now.

He was, of course, one of the most beautiful people Klaus had ever seen. Diego was fit and strong, but still broad and thick. He had little hair on his arms, but his chest and belly were fuzzy with dark hair that looked soft over firm pecs. For the first time Klaus actually read Diego’s chest tattoos. 

“What does this word mean?” Klaus asked, reaching out to touch the middle word on one of the Spanish phrases under Diego’s collar bone. _Tú me mataste primero_. He looked down to where Klaus was pointing, then looked back up at Klaus’ face with frown lines between his eyebrows. 

“It means ‘killed,’” Diego said, waiting for Klaus to piece together the rest.

“‘ _You killed me first,_ ’” Klaus read out loud, then gasped softly as the meaning rolled over him. “Is that because of your dad?”

Diego nodded, still frowning, but at least Klaus knew he was frowning at the memory now and not because Klaus asked.

“It’s the first one I got by choice, after the gang tag,” Diego said, then lifted his hand to rub it a bit, as if he could feel the phantom pain. “Not the most clever phrase but I was an angry kid, and it was exactly how I felt at the time.”

“No, it makes sense. If some idiot kid that never had a hard day in their life had it, just trying to look tough, then I might roll my eyes, but I know your reasons,” Klaus said, then he moved his fingers to brush the similar-looking phrase under Diego’s other collarbone. It read ‘Saved by Grace,’ another phrase that would have been lame if it was on someone else, but Klaus didn’t need to read that one out loud. It made him smile softly, and he was so thankful kid-Diego had a good influence like Grace in his life. “How come you decided to get them in Spanish? You don’t really seem that immersed in that culture or language.” 

“I was trying to be while I was there. I was raised by a white lady in the suburbs, and my dad was Mexican but third generation, and he had removed himself from most of his family and tradition by that point. We went to see his mom for holidays when I was really young, and sometimes she would tell me stories about visiting Mexico and make traditional food, but I was still really disconnected. In prison it wasn’t like that,” Diego explained, then shrugged. When Klaus didn’t ask any follow up questions he continued. “I was suddenly introduced into a group of people that were a lot more involved with the heritage and traditions, you know? I wanted to learn and fit in. Even though I hated most of those dudes because of the shitty things they did otherwise, I still learned things from them that my dad never would have taught me. He was just perfectly comfortable with how assimilated he was, with a typically white guy job in a white neighborhood with his white wife. And my birth mother was actually an immigrant, but she died when I was just a baby. She could have taught me so much.”

“Aww, yeah, I’m sure she could have,” Klaus said, and another thought occurred to Diego and he held up a hand. 

“ _Not_ that I would have traded Grace for anything. She was perfect, I wouldn’t have survived my childhood without her,” Diego said. Klaus nodded. 

“Did you get this one when she passed?” Klaus asked, briefly touching the cross with wings and Grace’s name under it on his ribs.

“Yep. That one hurt the most, I think, other than the brand,” Diego said, turning his right arm over. Klaus had seen that plenty of times, but he traced a finger over the crown-shaped brand, too. 

“How did you get the scar on your back, if you don’t mind telling me?” Klaus asked. He couldn’t see it from where he was sitting, but he remembered seeing it while Diego was in the jacuzzi with him, and back at Agnes’. Diego frowned for a second, but he didn’t look angry.

“I forgot that was there, honestly,” Diego said, moving his shoulders as if he could suddenly feel it there. “That was from high school. I was fighting with some kid and he pushed me back into a chain link fence that had a few breaks in it so the metal was sharp. I still won the fight.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Klaus said with a smirk, and he was honestly relieved the story wasn’t more traumatic like all Diego’s other scars. He reached forward and carded his fingers in the front of Diego’s hair, pushing it backward so he could trace his thumb over the small scar across the eyebrow under the bandage. The little gash mark was more visible now that some of his eyebrow had been shaved away.

“My dad tripped me when I was ten, I hit my head on the corner of our coffee table,” Diego explained without being asked this time. He leaned his face into Klaus’ palm like a cat, making Klaus smile in spite of the terrible story. He held Diego’s face and stroked his cheekbone with his thumb, just appreciating how beautiful he was. “And since I know you’ll ask, the one behind my ear is from when I beat the shit out of the prison guard. He clawed me with his nails and ripped off like a whole patch of skin, and then they threw me in solitary with no medical treatment so it got infected. I also picked at the scab while I was going crazy in there, so that didn’t help.”

“God, I’m so sorry that you’ve been hurt so much,” Klaus said, then held his towel over his lap while he shifted to face Diego more on the bed. Then he brought his other hand up to hold Diego’s other cheek in his hand so he could lean forward and kiss the eyebrow scar, then he moved his lips up and gently kissed the bandage.

“I’m sorry that I’m not better looking, all torn up like a mangy stray dog,” Diego said, lifting his hands to take both of Klaus’ from his face so he could hold them in his lap instead. Klaus’ mouth fell open and he shook his head.

“ _Diego,_ that’s not how I see you at all. Even now you still don’t believe that I think you’re attractive?” Klaus asked. Diego shrugged one shoulder.

“I think you’re just used to how I look now, and you only like it because you fell in love with me for some reason,” Diego said, and Klaus wanted to ring his neck a little. 

“I do love you, partly because you’re so hot and don’t realize it, but _trust me_ , babe. I was into how you looked long before we even talked, okay? It really works for me,” Klaus said, making sure Diego was looking in his eyes while he said all that. He could see that he was still skeptical. 

“What do you mean before we even talked? Like at the bar?” Diego asked. 

“Yes. You think you were subtle, coming in there every weekend to watch me?” Klaus asked with a small laugh. “I talked to basically every man in that bar every night, but it took me weeks to talk to you. Didn’t you ever wonder why?”

“I just assumed you were afraid of me,” Diego said, and Klaus knew he really believed that. 

“No, I mean, yes, but not because of how you looked. I was afraid to talk to you because I _liked_ you, like for real, but I didn’t know how to just ask you out like a normal person,” Klaus explained. “Do you know how hard it is to get a real date when you have that kind of job? You already knew what I did for a living, so there was no way for me to talk to you without that shit hanging in the air. I didn’t want you to just be another trick, I wanted to know you. I’ve always thought you were beautiful, Diego. Please believe that.”

“It’s dumb that we didn’t talk to each other but we both wanted to,” Diego said, but Klaus saw the blush on his cheeks. He was flattered by Klaus calling him beautiful, he just didn’t know how to handle it. 

“It’s not dumb. I think it was supposed to happen that way. Why else would things unfold the way they did the moment I decided to try and finally talk to you?” Klaus asked.

“I don’t believe in fate, but I’m still glad you knocked over the first domino and triggered the chain of events, anyway,” Diego said, but Klaus was suddenly focused on something else. 

Diego was still holding his hands in his lap, and for the first time Klaus felt that channel of vulnerability fully open, but only for a few seconds. He held his breath while elements of Diego’s psyche became clearer to him, all Diego’s pain feeling more raw and staggering than ever - but more importantly in that moment, he could feel Diego’s love for him, stronger and more unfiltered than ever before, too. It felt the way pink and red look, like yellow flowers in the wind, and soft, warm rain falling on his cheeks. Fireworks over the bay. The faint taste of cherry popsicles still lingered in Klaus’ mouth even after Diego subconsciously put his walls back up. 

“Yes you do,” Klaus said out loud, almost involuntary. 

“What?”

“You believe in fate. You believe we were meant to find each other too, or at least you’re starting to. I can feel it,” Klaus said, then leaned forward to kiss Diego’s lips before he could vocalize his confusion. It was just a quick one, and when he pulled back Diego was wearing a dreamy but amused expression as his eyes focused on Klaus’ face again.

“You’re such a cheeseball,” Diego said, his eyes lingering on Klaus’ lips. 

“Only with you,” Klaus said, then he took his hand out of Diego’s so he could tug the knee of his jeans. “Speaking of balls. We had a deal.”

“We did,” Diego said, closing his eyes and sighing, but at least he was still smirking. 

“You absolutely don’t have to if it would upset you,” Klaus said sincerely, but Diego started moving to get off the bed. Holy shit, was he really going to get naked? Klaus didn’t actually expect him to go through with it! “Please don’t do anything you don’t want to do, you know I would-”

“Klaus, it’s _fine_ ,” Diego said, but he was walking toward the trunk at the end of the bed. He lifted the trunk lid but gave Klaus a reassuring head nod before ducking down behind the lid to get something. “Communal showers for eight years, remember? And I need to get out of these jeans, anyway.”

Klaus refastened his towel at his hip again and then crawled on his hands and knees over to his side of the bed. He quickly flopped down against his pillows and tried not to look too excited. He didn’t want the to be the one gazing lecherously when Diego hadn’t done that to him. As Diego dropped the lid of the trunk Klaus took a breath and smiled at him struggling to get one of the draw strings of his sweatpants to come back through the hole instead.

“Fuck it,” Diego said, tossing the sweat pants on the bed and then unbuckling his belt and unzipping his fly so fast Klaus almost missed it. 

That was okay, it didn’t have to be a sexy strip tease or anything. He had Klaus’ undivided attention now, though, and he had to resist the urge to whistle. Anyone else might have appreciated that but he could tell Diego was getting anxious rather than cute and silly like earlier. He watched Diego take a steadying breath too, then hook his thumbs in the waistband and shove his jeans to the floor. 

Of course Diego’s dick was perfect like the rest of him, Klaus wasn’t even surprised. He was completely soft but Klaus had no trouble deducing he had nice length and girth. Someday he would love to get his lips around it- _God the things he would do to that man if he was able_ \- but for now that fantasy would have to go unlived. For that reason Klaus didn’t let his eyes linger there, looking up to Diego’s face instead. He wasn’t looking at Klaus, he was staring at the wall behind the bed, like he was afraid to even make eye contact with his clothes off. Then again, making eye contact with a nude man in prison may have gotten Diego’s ass kicked, so that wasn’t surprising either.

“It’s a lot different to get naked for a lover than for a communal shower, huh?” Klaus said quietly. He watched Diego take another deep breath before he shrugged and finally looked Klaus in the eyes. He wanted to kiss that fear and self-consciousness off Diego’s face so badly, because he had nothing to be afraid or ashamed of, but he also knew it was going to take more than kisses to ease that type of anxiety. “You can get dressed if you’re uncomfortable, babe.”

“I’m sorry I’m so fucking weird,” Diego said with a frown as he scooped up his sweat pants and stepped into them quickly. Klaus waited for him to get back up on the bed before he reached out to take his hand.

“Don’t be sorry. You are perfect, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about,” Klaus said, laying his head on Diego’s shoulder as he settled back into the pillows behind them. “Thank you for trusting me, I know that wasn’t easy.”

“Do you think it will ever get easier?” Diego asked quietly after a few beats, staring at their hands locked on his thigh.

“Getting naked? Yeah, definitely. I don’t know about the rest, though,” Klaus said, because he didn’t want to fill Diego with false hope. There was still the very real possibility that he could never handle sexual intimacy, and Klaus understood that, but he still didn’t want Diego to give up if it was something he really wanted, either. “Do you want me to get dressed?”

“You don’t have to, you’re not bothering me,” he responded, then tipped his own head to rest on Klaus’.

“Hey, speaking of communal showers - did they make you shower with the other men when you were only 17?” Klaus asked impulsively as the thought occurred to him. 

“I mean yeah, where else was I supposed to shower? They didn’t have a kids section in prison,” Diego said, sounding more amused by that than Klaus expected.

“But you were a minor! Isn’t it like a crime for the adults to be looking at you naked?” Klaus asked, since Diego didn’t seem upset by the first question. 

“No, only if they tried to do something to me, but there were guards watching the showers,” Diego said, then sighed. “Not that they would have stopped anything if the right people gave them something they wanted. One of many reasons I had to join a gang, so I could shower without having to constantly look over my shoulder. They wouldn’t let any of that shit happen to me, especially while I was a kid. But for the first week or so I avoided it all together, so I got kinda smelly because it was also the end of June and it’s not like there was air conditioning.”

“The world is so fucked up,” Klaus said. It wasn’t the most intelligent thing to say, but he was overwhelmed by the thought of Diego being a teenager in that environment. It made him feel a stab of guilt for trying to get Diego to forgive Luther for being part of the reason he ended up in that awful place to begin with.

“Yeah, it is,” Diego said, but then he turned his face to kiss the crown of Klaus’ head. “But it’s better now that I know you’re in it.”

Klaus snort-laughed and rolled his eyes at the cheesiness despite actually being deeply flattered. “I’m pretty sure I’ve been part of what makes the world fucked up for the majority of my life, but I’m still glad you like me anyway.”

“Nonsense, you have done nothing wrong ever,” Diego said facetiously, making Klaus giggle. 

Klaus could hear the smile in Diego’s voice too without even seeing him. Then Diego picked up their hands, brought them close to his face and turned them so he could kiss Klaus’ wrist scar. Just like the other night, except this time he kissed a line up Klaus’ wrist and into his palm over the _‘Hello’_ tattoo, then cupped his own cheek with Klaus’ hand. It made Klaus’ heart clench the same way it had before, because once again he was reminded that if he had actually killed himself all those years ago he never would have made it here. It was almost too overwhelming to think about, so he decided to bring up another topic that was bothering him instead. 

“So I made a list,” Klaus said, petting Diego’s cheek where his hand was still being held to his face.

“What kind of list?” Diego asked, letting Klaus’ hand drop. He shrugged his shoulder to gently nudge Klaus into lifting his head and looking at him. 

“Of all the jobs I might be qualified for once we leave here,” Klaus said, leaning up with a sigh. “It’s a miserable list. I don’t know how to hold a real job. I’ve never done it.”

“Me either, but it can’t be too hard, can it?” Diego asked, and Klaus was surprised to hear him say that, especially after he was the one being all doom and gloom about the future that afternoon. Maybe he was just trying to be optimistic for Klaus’ sake. Or Maybe Diego didn’t realize that most jobs people like them could do would be shitty customer service jobs with a lot of talking to strangers. Diego could hardly even talk to people he already knew, let alone being fake-nice when a customer was bitching at him.

“I’m kind of hoping that just finding the job and getting hired will be the hardest part, and then the work itself won’t be so bad,” Klaus said, but he was starting to get distracted by looking in Diego’s warm brown eyes. “The question is… is what kind of job, though?”

“Well, I have plenty of involuntary experience cleaning, so for me I could do some janitorial work, I guess,” Diego said while scratching his chin hairs. “That’s what I was doing for Al at the gym before we left Philadelphia. And he paid me under the table. That’s like the only kind of job I can think of us getting, but how often do you find people willing to do that?”

“I don’t even know how to clean well. I haven’t cleaned a house in like 10 years, let alone a business,” Klaus said, then scrubbed his hands over his face. This evening was a lot more fun when they were doing naked things, but he knew they needed to talk about this.

“You’re charismatic, though. I think you could easily do something with people. Maybe work at a movie theater or a diner or something,” Diego said.

“I thought about being a server but I would absolutely fuck that up immediately, and I hate trying to pretend to like people,” Klaus said, but when he said it out loud he realized… he’d already done that for years. He had to give johns the illusion that he _wanted_ them and found them interesting; he knew exactly how to be fake-nice. But that job paid a hell of a lot more than pouring coffee and setting plates on tables all day, and he was allowed to tell people to fuck off if he wanted to without the fear of getting fired. He sighed. “But I guess I’ll just have to get over myself, because I’m sure the last thing you want to do is clean for a living but I don’t hear you complaining.”

“I want to do whatever will keep us safe and together, so if that means mopping floors and wiping toilets, I’ll deal with it,” Diego said. It made Klaus smile and stare at him like a treasure.

“You’re right, that’s all I want, too,” Klaus said. “Can I kiss you or do you want me to put on pants first?”

“Uhh,” Diego said, and Klaus saw the blush color his cheeks as he thought about it. “Better get dressed in case I don’t want to stop after just one.”

Klaus bit his bottom lip and smirked, waited a few seconds and then leaned over to kiss Diego’s bare shoulder. Just a quick little smack, then he tried to make sure the towel was secure around his waist again before scooting off his side of the bed. 

Part of him wanted to let the towel ‘accidentally’ fall on his way to the closet, just to be a tease, but he decided now wasn’t quite the time. Diego had already made astonishing progress today just by being brave enough to ask for an inherently sexually intimate activity, Klaus didn’t want to push it and give him any negative feelings about the encounter. Because he figured that’s what Diego needed - several small, non-threatening, enjoyable sexual experiences to start with, so that he didn’t only have traumatic memories to refer to from that department of his brain. Positive conditioning? Positive reinforcement? Klaus vaguely remembered reading those terms in a textbook at some point in his life, but he couldn’t be sure. The point was, Diego needed more good experiences that didn’t end with him being triggered or humiliated. Klaus would be patient, and happy to give Diego whatever he could handle.

“Will you read to me,” Klaus asked once he was dressed, climbing up on the bed and handing Diego a random book from his stack. He didn’t care what it was, Klaus just wanted to lay on his warm chest while he was still shirtless and hear his voice. Maybe even pet Diego’s fuzzy belly while he listened. 

“You want to listen to me read about the Ming Dynasty?” Diego asked with a chuckle, taking the book with a green cover from Klaus’ hand. 

“Sure, I know fuck-all about China. Teach me something, professor,” Klaus said, then picked up Diego’s arm so he could tuck himself up under it.

“I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but it’s kinda sexy when you call me that,” Diego said, letting his arm settle around Klaus’ shoulder as he opened the book with his other hand. Klaus chuckled and patted Diego’s stomach. 

“Oh so you’ve got a teacher/student kink, too. Noted,” Klaus said, and he could feel Diego’s laugh rumble in his chest against his ear.

“I don’t know if I would go that far, but I don’t hate it,” Diego said, then cleared his throat like he was about to start reading.

“It pairs really nicely with the skirt kink, too,” Klaus said, making Diego snort and thump his head back against the headboard. 

“ _God,_ okay, I’m ignoring you now. Reading time,” Diego said, and Klaus could feel him shaking his head and trying to stop smiling so hard so he could read. 

“Yes, professor, I’m listening,” Klaus said, because he couldn’t stop himself. He giggled when he felt Diego’s hand leave his shoulder and slide down over his face to cover his mouth.

“ _Anyway_ …” Diego said, then took a deep breath and started to read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Don't get too complacent with the softness, this story isn't over yet ;)
> 
> \- I'm going to do my best to get the next chapter posted Friday 1/22


	26. The Fool: Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** Heavy PTSD content warning!

_** October 3rd, 2015, 6:38AM ** _

Drip. Drip. Drip. 

Where was that dripping coming from, Diego wondered. He hadn’t heard that particular sound since… since he was in his prison cell. It was the same leaky pipe, the same exact timing of the water drops hitting the ceiling above. He had heard it every night for eight years, it was unmistakably the same one. But why would he be hearing that now?

He opened his eyes and looked up - the same concrete ceiling crack with a rusty, hard water stain around it shaped like Texas. It made his heart immediately speed up. This had to be a mistake, there was no way he was really here. When he sat up he realized he was sitting on the same bed, in the same windowless, concrete and metal bar cage that he’d been kept in for almost a decade. No, this can’t be fucking real.

“Good morning, kid. Didn’t expect to see you back here,” Frank said from his side of the cell. Diego’s blood pressure spiked, almost deafening him from the blood thrumming in his ears. He whipped his head to see his old cell mate sitting on his bed, tattooed arms folded, legs kicked out casually as he leaned against the concrete wall behind him. His white hair patches circling his bald crown were as frizzy as ever, blue eyes staring at Diego fondly.

“Why am I here?” Diego asked, his strained voice coming out like a croak. Frank shrugged a shoulder. 

“You tell me. I thought you were smarter than this,” Frank said, unfolding his arms and sitting forward with his elbows on his knees.

“I can’t be here,” Diego said, hating the whine in his tone. He could hardly catch a breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

“No shit. The Lobos are going to tear you apart,” Frank said. Diego was shaking so hard the bed frame was squeaking underneath him, so he stood up and started to pace. He couldn’t bring himself to look out of the cell bars and down the hall.

“No, no, no! I have to get out of here!” Diego said, dragging his hands through his hair and yanking - he could feel it, the pain of his hair being ripped out by the roots. This had to be real.

“Too late for that, son. They already know you’re here. I’ve never seen the Lobos so pissed as they were when they got wind that you’d deserted. You were their golden boy. And when you killed ChaCha, too? Heh-” Frank laughed humorlessly. “You made enemies that didn’t even know your name before then.”

“I didn’t kill her!” Diego said with a raised voice. He lifted shaking hands to jam his fingers into his eyes until he saw stars, because the pain was better than crying right now. No, he couldn’t be soft in front of anyone here, even Frank.

“Well they certainly think you did, and I doubt they’re going to want to hear your side of the story,” Frank said, but then they were both distracted by a sound coming from down the hall. The buzz of a gate unlocking, then the scrape of metal as the chain link gate was slid open. Diego stared at the cell door in terror. “That’s probably them now. Do you hear the boots?”

“ _No, no, please,_ ” Diego whined, backing all the way up to the back wall. 

When he looked back to Frank to plead for help Luther was sitting in his place, wearing Frank’s white undershirt and beige scrub pants. Maybe Luther was here to help? Someone needed to help him. The sound of the boots hitting the concrete was getting louder - at least a dozen pairs. The gang was coming.

“You need to get out of here before it’s too late, Diego,” Luther said calmly, sending chills down Diego’s spine and making him shudder violently. Except... his voice didn’t sound right. It wasn’t Luther’s voice, it was… it was _Klaus’_ voice? That was fucking weird, right? This was all weird. This couldn’t be real. Luther started to yell now, his face suddenly twisted in anger like Diego had never seen before, which terrified him even further. “Wake up, honey! You have to wake up, Diego! Please! Baby, wake up!”

Seeing that phrase come out of Luther’s angry mouth was so wrong Diego squeezed his eyes shut and slammed his head back against the concrete wall. Luther kept shouting, the stomping boots were getting louder as they got closer, Diego couldn’t fucking breathe. He slammed his head back against the wall again, and again, pain blasting through his entire skull.

“Please, Diego! Please wake up!!” Klaus shouted in his face, and Diego could feel himself being shaken roughly as he finally dragged himself out of that nightmare. He sat up faster than a bullet, shoving Klaus so hard he practically fell off the other side of the bed. He still couldn’t breathe, and when he looked around he was… he was still in a prison cell, just a much bigger one. 

He realized he was screaming too, only stopping to finally take a ragged breath that made him want to puke. He scrambled off the bed, fell to the floor and crawled to the bathroom on trembling hands and knees. Every muscle in his body was so strained it felt like they were snapping and tearing with every move. When he made it to the bathroom and shut the door behind himself he screamed again, he had somehow crawled to the prison bathroom. He could smell the bleach, he could feel the cold, crackled, yellow tiles under his palms, and he could still hear the fucking boots approaching. 

“Help me,” Diego cried, squeezing his eyes shut and opening them again. Still the same prison bathroom. He leaned forward on his knees and puked, nothing but burning bile hitting the tiles. He couldn’t stop wretching, over and over, unable to even get a gasp in to breathe. The boots were almost there. He wiped the puke of his chin and tried to stand up, but his legs wouldn’t work. 

“Diego, honey, please open up! It was just a dream! You’re okay! I promise, you’re okay!” Klaus called from behind the door. If it was a dream why wasn’t this going away?!

“ _Someone help me,_ ” he cried pitifully, but he couldn’t open the door. 

What if it wasn’t Klaus out there? If Diego opened the door the gang could get in. They would easily overpower Klaus to get to him. Oh God, what if they hurt him, too? He had to get away from him, lead the gang somewhere else. The only way out was across the bathroom, but somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that was Grace’s room. He couldn’t go in there, she couldn’t see him like this, but he didn’t have a choice. 

His muscles still felt like they were shredding to ribbons as he crawled over to the bathroom counter and grabbed the edge to pull himself up. His legs felt like they were made of NERF material, just hard sponge and screaming agony. He held the counter as he struggled toward the other door across the bathroom. It was unlocked, so he went through and tried not to look at anything as he stumbled in the dark toward the other door leading to the hallway. He had to be quiet, because the boots were still stomping and he didn’t want them to know he was sneaking out another door.

Once Diego made it to the hallway he was still in the prison. How could he get out? He had to run! He tried, but his legs protested, the muscles violently contorting and making him stumble. He staggered down the hall, passing empty prison cell after empty prison cell. He thought he heard the boots starting to _run_ behind him. There was no way he could outrun them, all he could do was hide. One of the doors he passed looked like an office instead of a cell; maybe the warden’s office, or a counselor. Maybe it was counselor Patch? She would help him. 

The door was thankfully unlocked, so he pushed it open and threw himself inside. When his body hit the hard floor he thought he heard something crack but he didn’t have time to care, it didn’t hurt worse than anything else, so he shoved himself up enough to lock the door. Nobody would know he was in here. The room was dark, heavy fabric curtains covering the windows, and nobody else was in the room. If he couldn’t see in there, maybe nobody else could see him either. He wedged himself between a nightstand and the wall, curling up and shaking, praying for his body to relax so the pain would stop. He needed this to _stop!_

“ _Please stop, please,_ ” he whined, trying to will himself to calm down. He couldn’t calm down. There were still boots tromping militantly outside. They were still coming. He was going to die here.

Time passed, but Diego had no idea how much as he finally pushed himself up from the fetal position he’d been lying in. It had felt like an agonizing eternity. He could see bright light beaming from the tops of the curtains, and it had to be after noon for the sun to be on that side of the house. How could that much time have passed? 

It didn’t matter, Diego was just glad the horrible delusion seemed to have subsided. He hadn’t heard the tormenting sound of boots in a while, and his body had finally relaxed for the most part. Every part of him ached like he’d been beaten with several baseball bats, though. His throat was raw, there was dried puke on the knees of his sweatpants, he reeked of sweat, and he knew his knees were definitely bruised all to hell even though he couldn’t see them. On top of that, his forehead was stinging, he must have lost his bandage over the tattoo at some point, probably sweat it off in bed. The grumble from his stomach was also annoying, he couldn’t even imagine eating anything, but he definitely needed a drink before he really did die. There was still an anxious tremble deep inside him that made it hard to move, on top of his muscles being sore, but he managed to stand.

Thankfully nothing felt broken though, and as he analyzed the bedroom he was in, he saw a coat rack knocked over against a dresser. That must have been the crack he’d heard when he stumbled in here, but that was really all his brain would let him remember. He could remember the dream, but he couldn’t remember waking up, or how he got to this room. Maybe Klaus could tell him- 

Oh shit, _Klaus._ Diego sighed and scrubbed the half of his face that didn’t sting, trying to think of how he was going to face him. There was no way Klaus didn’t think he was fucking crazy now, and really, he wasn’t sure that he wasn’t himself. He’d had panic attacks before, but this was something else. This was… this was a living nightmare, and he was starting to realize that Five was right. He needed _help_. Like real, professional help, because this was more fucked up than just a little anxiety. Clearly he wasn’t coping with all the trauma he had been through as well as he’d thought he was. There was no getting around it, he had to look into some kind of counseling or something, even if it was just the EA meeting that Five suggested. 

Because what if he had really hurt himself during that episode? What if he hurt Klaus? Oh god, what if he _did_ hurt Klaus? He couldn’t really remember everything, so it was _possible._ But no, Diego didn’t think that happened. The vague parts he could remember, he could hear Klaus telling him to open the door still echoing somewhere in his mind. Diego had just ran away, and even though that was still not great, he was relieved to remember that much.

“Fuck me,” Diego said with a raspy voice. He cleared his sore throat and headed for the door. He needed to find a drink immediately, no doubt having sweated out his entire body’s weight during the attack. His clothes felt disgusting on his body, but he couldn’t go back to the room yet. He still needed a while to orient himself and process before he could face Klaus.

When he stepped cautiously out into the hallway it was back to normal, just a boring mansion hallway and not the prison. He realized he’d only gone about five doors down from their bedroom, even though it had felt much further. Their door was shut, and he knew that he really needed to stop and check on Klaus, let him know he was okay. But not yet. Diego bypassed their room and headed down to the kitchen despite looking like a trainwreck, no doubt. 

On his way down he walked passed the grandfather clock in the foyer - it was fucking _four o’clock_. He’d been lying in that room panicking and dissociating for like 10 fucking hours, unless he had fallen asleep at some point and couldn’t remember. Then he also realized… oh shit, he’d missed physical therapy that morning! Beeman was going to be upset with him, and probably Luther too, since he was paying for the service. What a mess. 

At least the kitchen was deserted, so he filled an enormous glass of water and chugged all of it standing right at the sink, part of it spilling down his neck from the eagerness to quench his thirst. After that, he filled another glass and carried it out to the patio outside, needing to see the sun at least once before the end of the day. He sat on the steps next to the flower box full of mums where Klaus’ present had been hidden a couple days ago. God, that moment, that overwhelming happiness - it seemed so distant right now. At the moment all he could feel was _off,_ and guilty, and estranged from his own life. He wondered if this is how Klaus felt when he was having one of his major depression days, or at least something like this. All he could let himself focus on was the sips of water soothing his sore throat, and the chilly wind that didn’t match the look of the warm, golden sun low on the horizon. He shivered and took another drink of water, trying to think of how he was going to explain what had happened that morning.

Of course Klaus would be understanding, even if he was upset that it happened. He would coddle Diego, pet his hair and tell him he was just happy that he was okay, and honestly… Diego kind of wanted that right now, even if it made him embarrassed to want that type of comfort. As cheesy and eye-roll inducing as it was, the only place he felt at ease was when he was alone with Klaus. He wished he hadn’t been freaking out so bad that morning, because he should have let Klaus comfort him and bring him back to himself. He shouldn’t have run away, but he really couldn’t have stopped himself in that state of mind. His fight or flight response was triggered so severely by the dream that all he could do was run, because he certainly didn’t want to fight when Klaus was the only one in the room.

“There you are,” Luther said behind him, making him jump so hard he almost dropped the empty glass in his hand. He whipped around to see Luther in his grey work suit, walking down the patio and carrying a denim jacket over his arm. Diego couldn’t remember how to make words, so he just watched with deer-in-the-headlights eyes as Luther sat down next to him on the steps and handed him the jacket. “Sylvia saw you head out here and told me. I figured you would be cold.”

“Okay,” Diego said as he took the jacket, then shook his head at himself. Wrong response. “I mean thanks.”

“So… what happened?” Luther asked, and Diego didn’t have the energy to act tough, or lie, or even be annoyed with Luther’s existence like he normally would be.

“I had a bad dream, and then I completely flipped out, and I couldn’t make it stop even when I was awake,” Diego said, his voice still raspy and exhausted. There was no point in lying to save face, he’d totally and thoroughly flipped out, and everyone would find out eventually. Luther just nodded like he wasn’t surprised. 

“Where did you go? We looked for you all day,” Luther said, and to Diego’s surprise he sounded much more concerned than angry or annoyed.

“Didn’t you have to work?” Diego asked, trying to think of what day of the week it was. He couldn’t remember.

“Yeah, but Allison called me and told me to come home because they couldn’t find you, and Klaus was… inconsolable. He thought you left for real,” Luther said, making Diego groan softly and squeeze his eyes shut.

“Fuck. Of course he did. God, I feel like such an idiot. I didn’t mean for that to happen, I can’t even remember leaving the bedroom,” Diego said, shaking his head. He set the water glass on the edge of the flower box and pulled on the jacket. It was soft and well worn, and smelled like cologne, and was also at least three sizes too big for him. He would never say this out loud, especially to Luther of all people, but it felt kinda nice, like a warm hug. “I should get up there and try to explain myself.”

“Wait, I wanted to talk to you for a minute, if that’s alright?” Luther said, making Diego study his face for what on earth he could possibly want to say. He seemed nervous, and Diego felt another stab of guilt seeing the scabbed over wound on Luther's cheek from when he had hit him. 

“Sure.”

“I read the baby book…” Luther started, and Diego had to suppress a groan. He wasn’t sure he could handle this right now. Luther licked his lips and continued. “When my father passed, and the company was passed down to me, I learned more about him in my first few days on the job than I ever did in all the time he’d been alive. I learned the lengths he would go to to disenfranchise people, to take what he wanted, walk on the backs of people to get to the level of success he had. It was illuminating in the worst way, because you grow up thinking your dad is a hero, you know?”

“Not really. I knew my dad was a horrible person since I was a toddler and he locked me in a closet so he could beat mom without me seeing it, but I have ears,” Diego said, starting to feel that familiar bitter flame reignite in his chest.

“Right, of course. Sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“It’s fine, just get to the point,” Diego said.

“I just wanted to tell you… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I didn’t see just how deeply my father manipulated me until it was too late. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, or for Gr-... for mom,” Luther said, looking down at his folded hands. “I’ve been trying to make it right, but I know money isn’t going to fix this, or fix you - all the shit you’ve endured because of my ignorance. I have no excuse - I should have known I was wrong long before my dad died. And I know what Five is doing for you isn’t going to give you back all the years you were robbed of while you were locked up, but… I’m hoping it can at least give you the future you deserve.” 

Diego tried to listen, really listen, because this was the apology he’d wanted to hear for almost a decade, but it was difficult for him to care at the moment. His stress levels were already through the roof. How was he supposed to handle this right now?

“I don’t know what you want me to say. ‘ _It’s okay?_ ’ It’s okay that you crippled my future and left our mom to fend for herself, and then let her die alone? It’s okay because you’re _sorry?_ ” Diego said, all rhetorical questions. Luther looked up from his hands but not at Diego, out at the horizon. Diego sighed. “Look, I feel the pressure from everyone for me to forgive you; Allison, Agnes, even Klaus, but none of them had to go through the shit I did. They didn’t watch their mother die from the inside of a cage and not be able to help her. And really, I don’t think that they think you deserve forgiveness so much as they just want me to get over it because my anger is _inconvenient._ But I can’t just… I can’t forget it, Luther.”

“I understand. But please… consider that you’re the only family I have left, Diego,” Luther said, finally looking him in the face. “And I’m pretty sure I’m all you have left too, or you wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m not your only family, though,” Diego said, but really he was a lot more affected by hearing it stated like that than he would let anyone know about. “You have Agnes, and Allison, and mom’s sister. I know she’s technically my family too, but she’s your blood.”

“Since when was blood the only criteria for family? Laura is a nice woman and everything, but I had never even met her until mom got sick. But I’ve known you my whole life,” Luther said. “When you told me that I wasn’t your brother anymore, I wasn’t expecting it to hurt that bad, but I still _care_ about you. I don’t want you to hate my guts forever, even if I deserve it. I can never say sorry enough, or throw enough money at this to make it go away, I know that. But please just… think about it? After you’ve had some rest, of course.”

Diego pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Luther was catching him at a moment when he was already vulnerable, already feeling scared and confused in a big way after his extreme panic attack that morning. It made him want to cling harder to the things he did have, including a step brother, such as he was. So… for the first time in his life he was actually considering forgiving Luther. Or at least trying to, just to see if he could do it. Plus, Luther really did seem sincere. Not to mention Diego was well aware how deep Reginald’s manipulation and control over Luther went. So, really… did he have a choice but to give him another chance now that he’d fully realized he was also abused in a way? Luther wasn’t judging _him_ for how he’d dealt with his own father’s abuse, could Diego really hold it against Luther for how he’d complied with the brainwashing and estrangement from his own mother that Reginald enforced on him?

“I’ll think about it,” Diego said, and he actually had to force away a smile when Luther literally fist pumped and goofy-grinned excitedly like a little kid. He clapped Diego on the back a couple times, but that was too much. “Don’t touch me, though.”

“Right, sorry,” Luther said, pulling his hand back to his knee and nodding. “Oh, that reminds me, though - Beeman will be back in the morning since you missed therapy today.”

“Ugh, fuck, I am such an asshole,” Diego said, almost slapping his forehead but the wind stinging his exposed raw spot stopped him just in time. “He probably hates me now.”

“No he doesn’t, Diego. He’s a former cop with PTSD too, he will understand. I do too,” Luther said, and that annoyed Diego again.

“What do you know about stress,” he snapped. Okay, he said he would _think_ about forgiveness, but that didn’t mean he had to listen to Luther try and relate with him as if he had any concept of the hardships Diego had faced.

“I know you think my life is easy, and I understand why you do, but man, my life fucking _sucks now_ ,” Luther said, then held up his hands as if he could sense Diego’s indignance. “Certainly the things I deal with aren’t prison and gang violence, but do you know how easily I could tank this entire company if I don’t give it 120 percent of my attention at all times? And it’s not just me that would lose. I have over 20,000 employees across the globe that rely on paychecks from me to feed themselves and their families. I answer at least 100 phone calls a day, all people that ask me questions like I know what I’m doing and I _don’t_ half the time. I did what I could to fix things that my father did poorly, like give significant raises, better benefits, I even paid reparations to the families my father screwed over with bad business and property deals. I’m trying to make this company run efficiently without all the evil shit my dad built into it to make it as successful as he and my grandfather made it. It’s more than a full time job, it’s like quicksand. The more I try to get out of it, the deeper it pulls me in. Yeah, I have money and a nice house, but I literally can’t sleep at night. I don’t get to enjoy any of it. I can’t stop thinking about contracts I have to sign, places I have to visit, important people I have to call the next day. Shit, I have a beautiful, amazing, supportive wife upstairs that loves me and I can’t even go up there and make love to her like she deserves because I’m too anxious. Maybe we don’t have the same kind of stress, but I assure you, I at least understand what it’s like to have anxiety control your decisions for you.”

Diego just stared at Luther silently for a while because he never expected both of them to have an oddly similar problem. Not the business stuff, Diego let that go in one ear and out the other because that all sounded like a choice to him, but the thing Luther said about Allison struck a little too close to home. Not that he would ever explain that out loud. They may be brothers but sex talk was absolutely never happening between them, at least on his end. Instead he focused on something else embarrassingly relatable, but just barely less so than his bedroom issues.

“Have you ever talked to anyone about it? Like a shrink or anything?” Diego asked, and Luther laughed.

“So they can tell me to reduce my workload, which is impossible? I don’t even have the time to talk to my wife, let alone a therapist,” Luther said, then sighed. “I’m starting to think I don’t have a choice, though. I can’t go on like this forever. I hate every minute of my life since I took over this job, and that’s not normal.”

“So... does that mean you don’t know of anyone that people like me and Klaus could maybe talk to?” Diego asked, absolutely despising that he had to ask at all. “Or can I just go to someone on my own with my new identity or whatever?”

“Oh, well, I suppose you could, but you couldn’t tell them literally anything about your real history… and that’s kind of the point,” Luther said, staring at Diego with concern now. That was only half as annoying as being stared at with pity, so he tried not to let it bother him.

“But what about someone like that surgeon, or Beeman - someone that already knows who I am but won’t say anything?” Diego asked again. He _had_ to let himself be vulnerable and needy right now even if it was humiliating. He had to just bite the bullet and explain himself, because he realized he was asking Luther to spend _more_ money on him. “I-I wouldn’t ask but… after this morning… nothing like that has ever happened to me, at least not that bad. I usually _remember_ hallucinations at least, but I don’t remember like a huge chunk of time, literally hours. The last thing I remember clearly was waking up from the nightmare and falling off the bed when I tried to stand. And then like, snippets of really fucked up hallucinations that I couldn’t stop from happening even though I knew they weren’t real and couldn’t hurt me. I lost over _10 hours_ of time, Luther. That’s never happened. I’m afraid that I’m going to hurt myself or Klaus or anyone else around when that happens, and I could never fucking live with myself. Maybe it’s a one time thing because of all the bullshit we’ve been dealing with, but what if it’s not and I’m just really this fucked up?”

“I don’t know anyone currently, but I can look into it,” Luther said after listening carefully.

“If it’s like way too expensive to find someone like that just don’t worry about it, I’m no-”

“Diego, it’s fine. I want you to be okay. I know you wouldn’t be asking me if it wasn’t important, and it is,” Luther said.

“I’ll figure out how to pay you back someday, even if it takes me a long time,” Diego said and Luther just waved his hand. 

“Please, you don’t need to. I know you’re big on not owing me anything, but you _don’t._ ”

“You’re just saying that because you feel guilty.”

“Maybe at first, but everything I’m doing for you now is because you’re my brother and I care about you,” Luther said.

“Ugh, _okay_ that’s enough sentiment out of you for one night before I throw up,” Diego said with an eyeroll and a smirk.

“That’s fair,” Luther said with a nod. 

Part of him wanted to reject this kindness, because it was so different to how Luther treated him the entire journey from Philadelphia to his doorstep, that it almost felt fake. He could throw it in Luther’s face, reignite the bitterness, but… he was _tired_. Just so fucking tired of hate eating him up inside every day. Before he met Klaus that hateful fire inside was all Diego knew, it fueled his every thought and move, but now… now he knew that he was capable of love and forgiveness that he didn’t think was even possible for him anymore. He could spend the rest of his life busting Luther’s balls for a mistake he made as a teenager, or he could just accept that maybe Luther is also capable of a similar kind of growth that he has been through himself since then.

“While we’re kind of on the subject,” Diego started. “Klaus and I were uh - we were wondering how we’re supposed to get jobs and stuff once Five is done with whatever he’s doing. I assume we can’t exactly work in this city since they already suspect you of helping me, which is fine, but I’m not sure where we could live before we get a couple paychecks to pay for a place, you know? And that’s assuming we can even find work immediately.”

“Oh, I already have an apartment set up for you starting next month in Portland, deposit and first month paid for,” Luther said simply, like it was just the easiest thing. It made Diego’s head swim and his stomach feel even sicker than it already did. God, he did not want to accept any more charity from Luther, but he didn’t have a choice. He never had a choice, and it made it so difficult to feel relief rather than shame. “I can get you work too, if you don’t want to bother with-”

“No! No, thank you, I can do that part myself. Christ, I have to do _something_ myself, Luther,” Diego said, squeezing his eyes shut hard enough to make him dizzy.

“Okay! Sure, yeah, you definitely can. Your identities will have high school diplomas, it shouldn’t be too hard to at least get an entry sort of job,” Luther said, then cleared his throat. “Hey, just let yourself relax for now. Soon you’ll be up to your eyeballs in adult responsibilities that you’ll have the chance to handle alone. I’m just making sure you have a fair starting point, okay?”

Diego didn’t know how to handle that either, so he just sighed and picked up the water glass from the flower box.

“I need to get upstairs and talk to Klaus, I’ve tortured him enough today,” Diego said, then stood up. He went to take the jacket off but Luther started shaking his head. 

“No, you can keep that for now. It’s only going to get colder while you’re here, just leave it in the room when you go,” Luther said. “Oh, and there’s Chinese takeout in the fridge if you wanted to take some food up to Klaus. I ordered a shitload of it for lunch since I was home, but he refused to eat, so I’m sure he’s starving.”

“Alright… thank you,” Diego said, and it was the first time he didn’t feel like saying it through gritted teeth.

“Sure. He really loves you, huh?” Luther said, and Diego was a little blindsided hearing that from Luther of all people. Thankfully he didn’t wait for a response. “Oh, that reminds me. I talked to my contact in the Livingston PD, he’s working on getting those dog tags. It’s just tricky because even cops can’t swipe stuff from evidence lockup without signing it out. So don’t mention it to him until I know for sure they’ve been obtained.” 

“That… that would be really great, it would mean the world to him,” Diego said, but he couldn’t even let himself be grateful or excited. He was completely tapped out on emotional availability at the moment. All he wanted to do was go upstairs and fall in Klaus’ arms. “Hey, can you have that food sent up for us? I don’t want to waste time heating it up and stuff before I go up there.”

“Oh sure, sure. I’ll get Sylvia on it right now,” Luther said, standing up on the step below Diego so he could follow him inside.

While Diego headed back to the room he wished he had time to shower and change before Klaus saw him. He still felt fucking gross and smelly, but there was no way. He hoped Klaus would just be so happy to see him that he wouldn’t notice. Definitely wishful thinking, because he knew he was pretty ripe. When he got to the door he thought about knocking since it was closed, but that would be silly. He was allowed to walk into his own room, so he braced himself for the tidal wave of emotions he knew Klaus was going to have and turned the knob.

As soon as he stepped inside Klaus looked up from the bed, and so did Allison. She was already moving like she was just getting ready to leave, and as soon as she saw him she had a soft, relieved smile, but Klaus’ emotions were unreadable. As Allison passed by Diego she gave him a polite nod and slipped out the door behind him, but he never took his eyes off Klaus.

“Hey,” Diego said quietly, suddenly too afraid to move forward until Klaus said something. Except he didn’t say anything. He stood up on the bed, walked across the mattress to Diego’s side and jumped down, then marched right up in Diego’s personal space with folded arms. 

“Where were you?” he asked with a flat voice and stone face. His eyes were red rimmed, he’d clearly been crying all day. Diego could tell he was going to crack again any second, but this uncharacteristic emotionless Klaus was still deeply unsettling. He must be really fucking angry. Shit, Diego didn’t see that coming.

“I-I was… I freaked out and I don’t remember how I got there, but I was only a few doors down. I don’t know what happened, Klaus. I’m sorry-”

“ _All fucking day?_ ” Klaus said harshly, but there was a waver in his voice that told Diego he was only angry because he was scared. “You were just down the hall while the entire household searched for you for _hours?_ ”

“Klaus, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to do that, I never would have done that if I was thinking straight, but I wasn’t okay. I wasn’t… I wasn’t _okay,_ ” Diego said, suddenly unable to explain himself properly. Klaus being angry at him was something he wasn’t familiar with navigating and it terrified him. “P-please, please let me try to explain. I promise I wasn’t hiding from you-”

He was cut off by Klaus changing emotional tracks so fast his brain wasn’t sure what was happening when Klaus _hugged_ him. He was holding Diego around the ribs under his jacket so tight he almost couldn’t breathe, and all he could do was wrap his arms around Klaus’ shoulders and hold him, too. He could feel Klaus shaking, followed by soft, stifled crying against his shoulder.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, rubbing Klaus’ back and resting his cheek against his head. It was making him get choked up too, on top of all the other horribly emotional weight he’d had to bear all day. Although he didn’t have a chance to let any tears spill before Klaus let him go and leaned back with wet cheeks.

“Where did you get a denim jacket?” he asked, wiping his nose on the back of his hand and staring at Diego’s jacket with a bit of dazed confusion.

“Uh, Luther let me borrow it,” Diego said, but he wasn’t sure why that was important at the moment.

“That explains why you’re swimming in it,” Klaus said, reaching out to straighten the lapels. “Blue looks good on you, though. You just need a dangly earring, and some fingerless gloves.”

“Yeah, I’ll pass on that,” Diego said, and he was surprised to feel himself smiling. “I think you’ve seen the Breakfast Club too many times.”

Klaus laughed through his nose, the corners of his tear-shiny eyes crinkling with his amusement. God, even in the face of a day from Hell, Diego couldn’t help but feel all of that blur into the background when he made Klaus smile. “Guilty. I definitely wanted to date Bender.”

Diego saw Klaus leaning in to kiss him, but he felt way too disgusting to be kissed, so he leaned back. “I love you but I need to go shower before you get any closer to me, I am gross right now.”

“Nooo,” Klaus whined, all that sweet amusement leaving his face immediately. He grabbed Diego’s jacket again.

“Babe, I have to. I’ve got puke on me and sweat and I haven’t brushed my teeth yet today,” Diego said, but the fearful pout on Klaus’ face broke his heart. “What if I leave the door open?”

“Okay,” Klaus said, but his face was still etched in concern about letting Diego leave his sight again. “And then we gotta talk, and put some gauze on your forehead. Don’t get it wet in the shower. Wait, maybe we should do that first.”

“It will be fine, the blisters don’t even hurt that bad today,” Diego said, then added, “I’ll be careful.”

It took Diego way too long to figure out the ridiculously complicated shower with an unnecessary number of jets and sprayers, but once he finished and put on fresh clothes he felt at least 70% back to normal. Shaving could wait, though. All he wanted to do was get comfortable in bed with Klaus, especially after lying on the floor all curled up for so long. His body was so fucking sore from head to toe, both from being on the floor and from being so tense during his episode that his muscles all felt torn. Maybe he should have soaked in the tub instead, but that could also wait until tomorrow. 

When he walked back out into the bedroom Klaus seemed content, eating a steaming bowl of beef and broccoli with chopsticks while he stared at a tarot spread in front of him on the bed. He looked up and smiled when he heard Diego walk out.

“Hey, feeling better?” he asked. When Diego nodded Klaus pointed toward the tray sitting on the dresser with a chopstick. “Sylvia brought us food, it just got here so get some while it’s hot.”

“Maybe in a while, if I eat that I’m afraid I will get too comfortable and fall asleep before we can talk,” Diego said, sitting down on his side of the bed. He glanced at Klaus’ tarot cards, but it was a lot more complicated of a spread than just the three in a row so he understood it even less than usual. The only cards he picked out before Klaus swept them up were _The Devil_ and _Five of Pentacles_ , but that meant nothing to him. 

“Okay, I’m listening, and I’m not angry at you, just so you know,” Klaus said as he wrapped the hair tie around his deck of cards. “I’m sorry I bitched at you when you walked in, I-”

“It’s okay, don’t apologize. I get it, and you deserve an explanation,” Diego said, but he was distracted by Klaus holding up a piece of beef in his face with chopsticks. 

“Eat this,” Klaus said, barely waiting for Diego to open his mouth before pushing it past his teeth. “You are literally so pale you look like a ghost, I know you’re starving.”

Diego had to resist closing his eyes and moaning, because Klaus was right, he really was starving and that peppery meat tasted like Heaven. 

“Did I say anything?” he asked after he swallowed his mouthful. 

“You mean while you were dreaming?” Klaus asked, setting the chopsticks in the bowl. Diego nodded and Klaus nodded too. “Uh, yeah, you kept repeating ‘ _No_ ’ and ‘ _I can’t be here_ ’ and like, trying to push me off the bed but I think you were dreaming about pushing something away so it wasn’t like, because you actually wanted _me_ specifically to get away from you. And when I tried to wake you up you were flinching and holding your arms up defensively like I was hitting you instead of just shaking you awake. And then when you opened your eyes I could tell you weren’t really awake yet, and you shoved me a lot harder, but it didn’t hurt. No, stop making that face! I said you didn’t hurt me, okay? I know you weren’t upset with me, you were clearly freaking out about what you were dreaming about, it’s okay.”

“It’s _not_ okay,” Diego said, swallowing hard to keep the tears back. He immediately wanted to fucking cry knowing that he was even shoving Klaus in his _sleep_. How the fuck could he ever control this?

“Honey, it’s never happened before and I didn’t feel in danger at all. I am a billion times more worried about you,” Klaus said, reaching over and rubbing Diego’s back between his shoulders. “What were you dreaming about?”

Diego gave Klaus a detailed description of the dream and then explained how he couldn’t really remember much about what happened between falling on the floor by the bed and then waking up. Almost the same explanation he gave to Luther, just a little more detailed because it was Klaus and it was easier to talk to him than anyone else. Klaus listened quietly with his hand over his mouth, eyebrows drawn together out of concern.

“And then while I was sitting on the steps trying to stop feeling so disoriented, Luther came out and we talked for a while… and you’re not going to believe this, but I actually felt better after talking to him,” Diego said, watching Klaus smile softly for the first time since he started his story. “He’s going to look into getting me some… maybe some professional help? Like a shrink or something. I don’t know what they could do for me, but I need to do something. It’s never been like that before, usually it only takes me a few seconds to snap out of a hallucination but I couldn’t make it go away even when I knew it wasn’t real.”

“Oh, Diego, I’m so sorry that happened,” Klaus said, then set his bowl of food further down the bed so he could pull Diego into his arms. 

It was still an awkward hug because of how they were sitting, but Diego really wanted the comfort so he made Klaus lean back against the pillows and then tucked himself under his arm. This is what he’d wanted since he snapped out of his attack; his head on Klaus’ chest, arms around him, Klaus petting his hair. 

“Don’t fall asleep, you still need to eat and put a bandage on,” Klaus said, but Diego’s eyes were already heavy.

“Just a little cat nap,” Diego mumbled into Klaus’ shirt and then hugged him closer with the arm over his waist. “Wake me up in like 15.”

“Okay, babe,” Klaus said softly. “Then you’re eating something.”

“Mmhm,” Diego said, and then he was out. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- So it has come to my attention that I have not informed anyone about when this story will end, and I am SO SORRY. You've got 3 chapters left after this, and then a short epilogue. So one more month of weekly chapters, then our favorite couple will be on their own :')
> 
> \- Next chapter will be posted next Friday(ish) as usual! Thank you so much for your comments and support, it truly is the only thing keeping me dedicated to finishing this ♥♥♥
> 
> \- Oh! And the final art for Book Three will be worked on soon! I'm not sure if it will be completed before the fic is finished, so you'll have to check my tumblr (@cultleaderklaus) the story aesthetic blog (@lawlesslovers) or the artist's tumblr (@c0ffeebee) for the final piece. I'll keep you posted as I learn more from the artist! ☺


	27. The Fool: Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** be aware of the time stamp! A little over a week has passed.
> 
> ** I have no excuse for the lateness, I've just been a piece of crap in the productivity department the last couple weeks. (And also to be real with y'all, I'm having a hard time keeping up my enthusiasm for TUA in general because I'm still so salty about season 2 ruining everything I love. I'm GOING to finish this story though, and I absolutely love the world and versions of these characters that I've created - BUT it's just not coming as easily/quickly as it did before.)
> 
> ** Also I hope you saw the big event of this chapter coming this whole book, because if you didn't you're going to think I'm insane lmao

_** October 12th, 2015, 9:45AM ** _

The last week had crawled by, and Diego couldn’t believe he was somehow more understimulated at Luther’s than he was at Agnes’ in the middle of nowhere. Three good things have come out of the last week or so, though. He was feeling a bit more optimistic about the future knowing that Luther already had them a place set up for a month so they could get on their feet, which also made Klaus feel better, too. He was already planning what tacky ass colors he wanted to paint the walls when they got there, and Diego would let him pick whatever he wanted because he knew Klaus had never had a permanent place to actually make his own. The second good thing was that Diego was feeling healthier and stronger, having taken advantage of Luther’s gym after his physical therapy sessions. As much as he could without hurting the progress he and Beeman were making on his injury, anyway. Klaus had even started to wake up early and join him on some of the days, and Diego kind of enjoyed teaching him what he knew about fitness, even if he could tell Klaus was just there to watch him get all sweaty. 

And the third, perhaps most surprising development, was that Diego and Luther were like… getting along? Diego was never going to be able to just forget about all the poor decisions and the pain Luther had caused him and their mom, but he was choosing to not let it hurt him the same. It was something he didn’t even realize he had the power to do for himself. He could _choose_ to let Luther’s reasons be enough, to not let a grudge control him to the point of poisoning his soul. It was remarkably freeing to just put a lid on that for a while, and to learn what Luther is like as an adult rather than the snobby, selfish brat Diego always remembered him as when they were kids.

“How did you shave in prison?” Klaus asked from the bathtub, bubbles in his hair.

Diego looked at him in the mirror behind the bathroom counter while he shaved, towel around his waist as he’d just left the bath, too. Okay _four_ good things had come from the last week - Diego was a lot more comfortable being naked around Klaus and vice versa now. It still wasn’t necessarily with a sexual connotation, but he could get dressed in the room with Klaus, sit in the tub with him, watch him run around in his underwear, which Klaus liked to do more than most people, Diego had to assume.

“What do you mean?” he asked, pausing mid-stroke to turn and look at Klaus directly.

“Like, did they let you have razors? That seems like something they wouldn’t let people have. I know how to break apart a razor and get the blades out, I’m sure plenty of other people do, too,” Klaus said, resting his arms over the ledge of the tub and letting his body float behind him.

“Oh, yeah, they let us have razors but only in the bathroom, and we had to check them out from the guard,” Diego explained, but turned back to the mirror to finish shaving before the cream melted off his cheeks. “If we didn’t return the razor we couldn’t leave the bathroom until they found it.” 

“Wouldn’t it be easier to just let yourself go full-bearded wildman while you’re in there?”

“They didn’t let us,” Diego said. “You could keep a neat goatee or trimmed moustache or nothing at all. Same with your hair, it was basically military buzz cuts for everyone so you couldn’t hide shit in your hair, and every race had their own barber. Black guys were allowed to keep dreads but only a certain length and style, which is why each race had their own barber.”

“Why is prison so racist, Jesus,” Klaus said, sitting up on the ledge of the tub and grabbing a towel to start drying his hair.

“Well in that particular instance it was a good thing. Imagine if you’re a black guy and some old white dude that’s only ever cut white people hair starts fucking with your locks,” Diego said, trying to remain focused on shaving now that Klaus was just sitting ass out on the tub. “Also, I don’t know how to tell you this… but people are still racist. Especially in a cooped up area like that.”

“Well I know that, but it seems weird that the prison itself would play into it,” Klaus said, finally standing up and wrapping the towel around his waist. He stepped down and walked over to Diego, leaning his butt on the counter and watching him clean up his goatee.

“Because if they didn’t there would be a hell of a lot more hate crime and gang conflict. It’s just easier to let it be tribal, because you can’t stop it from happening, anyway,” Diego said, but he decided to change tracks. He didn’t feel like having a lengthy discussion about racism in prison. That would take hours, and he would really rather forget about that aspect of the prison experience. Especially since he was never raised to think that way. His father was a piece of shit but he wasn’t racist, at least not when he was home, and Grace would certainly never teach him to think that way either. “Didn’t you say you’ve been to jail?”

“Oh, yeah but I was high as a kite for at least 89 percent of the experience, like morphine pills. Good shit. I don’t remember there being any rules about hair length or facial hair, but you could tell me I rode a unicorn in jail and I would believe it,” Klaus said, scratching his own chin hairs. “I guess I do vaguely remember getting a disposable razor from a guard a few times, now that you mention it. Don’t recall a barber, though.”

“I actually didn’t know how to shave when I first got there, if you can believe that,” Diego said, trying to steer Klaus away from drug talk now. 

“You hadn’t shaved before you were 17?” Klaus asked, easily derailed to a new topic.

“Yeah, but we had an electric razor at home and it was basically impossible to cut yourself with it unless you jammed it against your face,” Diego said just as he was finishing the last of the job. “Also my facial hair didn’t get really thick until I was like 19.”

“Oh, mine either. It was just some patchy scruff. Not cute,” Klaus said with a nod. “And your first time using a real razor was a shitty plastic single blade thing?”

“Yep. Frank had to teach me in our bunk. He had a razor hidden in his mattress and a bottle of conditioner he got with commissary money,” Diego explained as he wiped his face with a hot washcloth. He couldn’t believe that he actually remembered Frank fondly, but he really did, despite the things the old man had done in his past. “Another reason I could have contracted some viral shit, because I cut my face a million times at first. But you don’t really think of that in the moment.”

“It’s really cute how you bond with old guys so fast,” Klaus said, giggling when Diego frowned at him. “Don’t look at me like that! You do!”

“I do not! Frank is one guy!” Diego said, but Klaus’ smile was making him smile too. 

“Frank and that dude from the gym you worked at-”

“Al,” Diego supplied.

“Yeah, him! And now the cook here that you like, what was his name?”

“Walt,” Diego said, closing his eyes and sighing because he realized he was wrong.

“You’re gonna be such a cute grumpy old man someday, too,” Klaus said, then leaned over and kissed Diego’s bare shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine.

“I’m already a grumpy old man,” Diego said. “Kindred spirits, I guess.”

“You aren’t old, you’re not even older than me,” Klaus said, but he was kind of staring off in space as he spoke. There was a small smile on his face, and Diego was suddenly hit with a ‘what’s the catch?’ kind of anxiety. 

“Hey... how are you?” Diego asked, snapping Klaus out of his little trance. 

“I’m fine, why?” Klaus asked, frowning slightly since he was clearly confused where that came from. “Are you?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Diego said, shaking his head. “I just… I feel like everything is going too well, you know? I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop or something. I don’t know.”

“I think God has run out of shoes to drop on us at this point. Wait, have you not realized we’re actually going to get out of this, yet?” Klaus asked, gripping Diego’s elbow and steering him to stand in front of him. “We’re _getting away_ with this, baby. All of it. Let yourself relax, okay? It’s okay to just be happy. We can be free now, or soon, anyway.”

“I don’t know about that,” Diego said, looking at Klaus’ hopeful eyes and wishing he could feel the same. “I don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to stop looking over my shoulder, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah of course, I understand. I just don’t want you to be afraid every moment of the day, or the good stuff will pass you by while you’re worried about the what-ifs,” Klaus said, reaching his hand up to pet the wet, freshly shaven part of Diego’s jaw. “Let yourself be excited about our future. I am, even if it’s not always going to be easy. I’ve never been excited about my future before, Diego. It feels pretty fucking amazing, and I want you to feel that way too.”

“I’m trying,” Diego said, then wrapped his arms around Klaus’ waist and hugged him tight. Only for a few moments though, because naked towel hugs were still a bit overwhelming even though he didn’t want to stop. Was there ever a time he could just exist without feeling anxious about something? Maybe someday. 

“So what do you want to do today? Allison said there’s an indoor pool we haven’t seen yet,” Klaus said, wiggling his eyebrows like it was something scandalous. “There’s also a wine cellar that’s bigger than a Whole Foods store under the kitchen.”

“I’m going to get dressed and go in there,” Diego said, nodding his head toward Grace’s door. Klaus frowned again.

“Are you sure? Won’t that like, ruin your whole day?” Klaus asked. Diego shrugged. 

“I can’t leave without at least checking it out. If there’s any pictures of her in there I want them,” Diego said, stepping back so Klaus’ hands skated over his skin as they dropped to his own sides. Another shiver along his spine. 

“Alright, well let’s get dressed. I’ll go in there with you,” Klaus said, pushing himself up from where he was leaning on the counter and following Diego out of the bathroom. 

It wasn’t how either of them planned on spending the rest of the morning, but Diego was happy Klaus wanted to be with him for this. Mostly because every time they found a picture in a drawer he got all misty eyed and lame, but Klaus never judged him. It was more about Diego judging himself for not even being able to look at a picture of his mom without getting emotional, but really, why was he judging himself? Because society says he should? The gang said he should? Fuck those guys. They would cry if they lost their mothers, too.

“You should give this one to Luther, unless you want it,” Klaus said, passing Diego a picture. 

They were sitting on Grace’s bed, surrounded by papers and pictures and jewelry among other little bits of personal stuff that Grace left behind. Klaus had found a photo album in a drawer and kept handing Diego new pictures to be sad about every few pages. This one was of Grace holding newborn Luther in the hospital, smiling from ear to ear. Reginald was nowhere to be seen in any of the hospital pictures, like he didn’t even show up for the birth of his own son.

“That must be your aunt Laura?” Klaus asked, pointing to the woman sitting in a chair next to Grace’s hospital bed.

“It is. I’ve met her a couple times when I was a kid, but she stopped sending me birthday cards and stuff when I was like 11 and stopped coming to visit,” Diego said, staring at the redheaded woman he remembered meeting as a child. “She knew about my dad, and tried to get me and my mom to come live with her in Florida, but my mom wasn’t legally my guardian because she never officially adopted me. She couldn’t take me across state lines, especially with a police officer husband.”

“Is that why Laura stopped showing up?” Klaus asked. 

“I think so. I think she always resented me too, because my mom wouldn’t leave me. Laura didn’t understand what was so special about me that her sister would stay with an abusive man just to keep me in her life,” Diego said, and saying that out loud filled him with a profound sadness. “If it wasn’t for me she would be safe.”

“Honey no, do not ever look at it that way,” Klaus said, reaching over to grab his hand. “Grace loved you, and you can’t blame yourself for her choosing to stay and be your mom, or for how your dad treated you guys. You were just a kid, you didn’t ask for any of that.”

“That doesn’t make it not true,” Diego said, tossing the picture down on the pile that he didn’t plan on keeping.

“Well, not to make this about me, but I wish I had a parent like her that wanted to fight to keep me safe,” Klaus said. “That’s what parents are _supposed_ to do. Don’t hate yourself for something you had no part in. You had a parent that loved you even in the face of evil. It’s a good thing. _Someone_ needed to protect you.”

“I know you don’t understand, but I would have rather taken every beating she took for me,” Diego said. He knew they needed to wrap this up because Klaus would never understand the guilt in his heart and the more Klaus tried to tell him how he should be feeling, the more upset Diego was getting.

“I think I understand more than you think I do. I let bad shit happen to me to keep other people safe. I at least understand Grace’s choice to endure it, because it’s better than the alternative to her,” Klaus said. Diego watched him start to pull Grace’s rings off his fingers that he’d tried on, dropping them back in the little white jewelry box. “All I’m saying is neither you or Grace have any blame in the things you guys went through. It’s all on your dad, and he got exactly what he deserved. Just like Craig.”

“And if I told you the same thing, that the bad things you won’t discuss with me aren’t your fault because you were _‘just a kid,’_ what would you say?” Diego asked, watching critically as Klaus’ mouth snapped shut and he swallowed hard while he thought about it, or maybe it was panic? Diego couldn’t be sure. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that. After a few seconds Klaus just sighed and then nodded. 

“Okay, point taken. I would tell you that you didn’t know what you were talking about,” Klaus said, then he leaned over to hook their elbows together and scooted closer. “So I guess what I should tell you is that your feelings are valid, and that I know you would have done anything to protect Grace if you had the power. But even still, I hope one day you can forgive yourself, you know? You don’t have to spend every day tormenting yourself with guilt because you didn’t stop the abuse sooner, or because you got locked up and couldn’t be there for her after you _did_ eliminate the first threat. Just… try to let yourself be happy, even if you haven’t healed from things that hurt yet.”

“I’m working on it,” Diego said with an equally heavy sigh, but Klaus was so sweetly optimistic it was hard to let himself sit under his storm cloud for too long. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, but now that I know you it’s a little easier to recognize what happiness even is.”

“Christ,” Klaus said, laughing and slapping his other hand over his heart. “You are too much, but I love you.”

Klaus leaned in closer for a kiss so Diego did too, their lips barely touching before there was a knock on the adjoining bathroom door. Fuck, could Diego just get a kiss in this house without being interrupted? He craned his body to look behind himself, and _double fuck._ It was _that_ woman.

“Hello, boys,” The Handler said, that silky voice making the hair on the back of Diego’s neck stand up in the worst way. He could feel Klaus’ mood shift from soft and fluffy to hard and icy in a matter of milliseconds, and it affected the entire atmosphere around them. Instead of elaborate, she stared around the room, like she was mentally cataloging this area of the house that she hadn’t seen before.

“Cat got your forked tongue?” Klaus snapped. Diego snickered but swatted Klaus’ ribs with the back of his hand softly, mumbling ‘ _dude_ ’ under his breath. The Handler’s narrowed eyes landed back on Klaus and she smiled the fakest smile Diego had ever witnessed. 

“Luther wants to see you both in his office,” she said. “Now.”

“Now? Isn’t he working?” Diego asked. He was trying to remain uninvolved with whatever psychic damage these two were inflicting on each other but he had to ask. 

“Yes, he’s working from home today. Don’t dawdle, I don’t get to take my lunch break until you’re both down there,” she said, tapping her wrist with no watch on it. She didn’t wait for a response before turning and taking off, her heels clicking obnoxiously on the tile bathroom floor as she went back out to leave through their bedroom door.

“How did we not hear her coming?” Diego asked with a frown. There was no way he would have missed that noisy, rhythmic clack on tile.

“I’m fucking telling you she’s a demon! She clearly snuck up on us on purpose,” Klaus said, then started scooping up the pictures to put them back in their album.

“Hey, just leave this, we can come back to it,” Diego said, but Klaus rolled his eyes.

“You think I’m going to hop to it when she asks? I’m going to have a cigarette first, take as much time as possible,” Klaus said.

“We can’t do that to Luther, babe. He’s got a lot of shit going on,” Diego said, making Klaus do a double-take. 

“Since when did you care about Luther’s schedule?” 

“Since he’s saving our asses, and this could pertain to that,” Diego said, sliding off the bed and offering his hand to Klaus. “Come on.”

Luther’s office door was open when they got down there, but The Handler was nowhere to be found. Apparently she went to lunch anyway, or she wasn’t even planning on waiting for them in the first place. Either way, Diego was happy she wasn’t around. 

“Ah, great, you’re here. Shut and lock the door behind you,” Luther said from behind his desk as they walked in. Being asked to lock the door made Diego immediately nervous, but he did as he was asked and then he and Klaus sat in the chairs across the desk from Luther.

“What’s going on? Do you have our new stuff?” Klaus asked, beating Diego to the punch. Luther rubbed his face and leaned back in his chair, dark circles around his eyes but he seemed to be in weirdly good spirits. 

“Not yet, soon though,” Luther said, but then he looked at Klaus and lowered his voice. “This is actually about something you said to me the last time you were sitting in that chair... How did you know?”

“Know what?” Klaus asked, but he had a tone that sounded like he knew exactly what Luther meant, he just needed to hear it. 

“That Alexis was laundering money out of this company,” Luther said with a smirk that confused Diego, but he was immediately distracted by Klaus' full-body laughing. He threw his head back over the top of the chair and clapped his hands, then patted his chest as he relaxed with a smug grin.

“Ahhhh, that’s great. I knew it,” Klaus said, glancing at Diego with that smug grin. All Diego could do was smile back, shrug and shake his head. “Before I tell you, what made you believe me enough to look into it?”

“Because the second you walked out she tried to tell me the same thing about you. That you were just a dirty, junkie thief, and that you would rob me blind if we didn’t keep an eye on you,” Luther said, then itched his temple with an ink pen before pointing it at Klaus. “She hated your guts a weird amount for never having met you until the day before, and you seemed to feel the same about her, so I thought it was weird. I wondered if you guys secretly knew each other before the day she picked you up, so I looked into any connections you two may have had. And then I found some little insignificant inconsistencies in the things she’d always told me about her life, things that both my father and I assumed were common knowledge about her. And it’s like, why lie about that stuff, you know? So… I dug deeper, got an independent accountant to look over the books on the day I gave all the employees the day off, and... you were right.”

“Like how much are we talking here?” Diego asked, suddenly ten times more intrigued by this than ever before. Klaus was literally a fucking wizard.

“Ohhh, about $2,000,000 or so, that we can find, anyway,” Luther said, smiling a lot for a man that just found out he lost a couple million. “She has been filling out fake invoices for years before I even took over this company, and then wiring the payment to her own offshore account. Classic. And it was just little bits over the last decade, a couple grand here and there, for shit like ‘miscellaneous medical supplies’ and ‘catering’ to restaurants I’ve never even heard of. Right under my nose.”

“Well I can tell you why she hates me, so you can solve that mystery,” Klaus said. “Because she was flirting with Diego and I called her out on it and shut her down. She clearly wanted him to like her.”

“I don’t know about _‘clearly,’_ ” Diego said, but then snapped his mouth shut when Klaus raised his eyebrows at him.

“And I knew she was a thief because of how she was dressed, the tone of her voice, she’s literally a cartoon villain. And also because I’m psychic,” Klaus said bluntly. Diego whipped his head to watch Luther’s face at that remark. All he did was blink a few times and nod, like it made sense.

“And your p-...powers? Your powers told you specifically that she was robbing me?”

“Not exactly, but I was able to piece it all together pretty quickly. The wave of wicked that follows her is palpable, I don’t know how even you can’t feel it when you spend so much time with her,” Klaus said, giving a fake shudder as if he was experiencing it all over again. As oddly amused as everyone else was handling this, Diego’s rational brain started working and drawing conclusions.

“Wait, are you going to fire her?” he asked Luther.

“I can’t, she knows too much. What I’m going to do is make a deal with her,” Luther said. “And if that doesn’t work I’m going to blackmail her into being quiet.” 

“Blackmail her? What do you have on her, anyway?” Diego asked, frowning deeper. 

“Five drew up false adoption papers for a kid she stole last year,” Luther said casually, but held a hand up before Diego could ask why the _fuck_ he was okay with her stealing children. “Yes, I know that sounds terrible, but she saved that little girl from a life of misery.”

“I’m going to need a little more detail than that,” Klaus said, sitting on the end of his chair now. “Are we sure she isn’t the one this kid needs to be rescued from?”

“The girl was in the foster care system because someone murdered her parents. The people that were currently fostering her were clearly just using her for a paycheck, none of which they spent on the little girl’s needs - well I should say teenager, she’s like 14 now,” Luther explained. “Alexis might be a thief but she’s not the demon you think she is. I’ve known her forever, she wouldn’t hurt that kid-”

“You thought she wouldn’t steal from you too, though,” Klaus interrupted. Luther ignored him.

“ _The point_ is if she knows I’ll fight dirty and make her lose her daughter she won’t even think about fucking with me, or you guys,” Luther said.

“Why couldn’t she just adopt the kid like a normal person?” Diego asked, still not liking the sound of this. Then again Five was helping him escape at least two murder charges among other things, so he had no leg to stand on either in the morality department. But he had never fucked with _kids._

“Alexis got a felony charge when she was 18, and you can’t legally adopt if you have a felony. She forged a bunch of checks from… from her dad’s checkbook. _Ha!_ Fuck, I am so stupid,” Luther said, shaking his head at himself. “How did I not see this coming. I bet she took the money to pay Five for the papers and new identity for the girl.”

“Well you didn’t hire her. She fooled your dad first,” Diego said, but then Klaus interrupted as a thought occurred to him.

“Wait, does her daughter live here, too? How have I never seen a kid running around literally ever?” Klaus asked, which was also Diego’s next question. “I’ve been like everywhere in this house.”

“You have?” Diego asked, but Luther talked over him, too. 

“She does, but they all stay in the employee wing for the most part. Why do you think you never see the gardener or the cook or the laundry maid wandering around? I have a tailor and a physical trainer around here somewhere, too,” Luther said. “They’ve all been trained by my father to not be seen much, and they have their own elevator and entrance. The daughter is also afraid of me for some reason, so I never see her either. Sometimes I’ll hear her music when she’s outside listening to her stereo but if I acknowledge her she runs inside. She likes Five, though.”

“Imagine living in a place so enormous you could have a whole group of people living with you and never even see them,” Klaus said, shaking his head.

“Imagine liking Five,” Diego said, making Klaus chuckle. 

“I liked him!” Klaus said.

“The most annoying part, other than having to find a new accountant and secretary, is that I would have given her the money. She’s never asked me for a raise beyond the first one I gave her when my dad died, and she’s never expressed a need for money otherwise either. I just don’t know why she would steal,” Luther said, then leaned forward in his chair and set his elbows on the desk, all official businessman-like. “Anyway, I digress. I invited you down here to thank you, Klaus. She would have kept robbing me for probably years before I noticed. If you need anything else while you’re here, please ask. You’ve more than made up for anything I’ve already done for you, so whatever you need, don’t hesitate to ask. Oh, and I have Ben Yeun’s number for you, actually, but I left it in my office at work. I will bring it to you tomorrow, alright?”

“Okay,” Klaus said, suddenly a lot more subdued, or perhaps stunned by the possibility of actually reconnecting with Ben. “Thank you.”

“Oh, and by the way, Klaus was right about Alexis being into you too,” Luther said to Diego. Both Klaus and Diego frowned.

“How did you figure that out?” Diego asked.

“I sent her on an errand this morning while her daughter was being tutored, then Hazel and I searched her room. She’s got a whole folder on you that rivals Five’s,” Luther said, all his amusement bubbling back up. “And three open-dated tickets for a one way cruise to Oranjestad, Aruba were in the folder. I think she was going to try to convince you to double cross me, leave Klaus and run away with her as soon as you got your new identity.”

“Stop laughing, Luther, that’s not funny!” Diego said, but that cracked Luther up even more. 

“Babe. Babe,” Klaus said seriously, reaching out across the space between their chairs to tap Diego’s arm. As soon as Diego looked he continued. “You never get to doubt me again. I know everything.”

That did make Diego smile. “You really do. I promise to never dismiss your hunches again.”

“Isn’t that sweet,” Luther said, almost sarcastically, then slapped his desk. “Now I need you guys to get out of here before Alexis gets back from lunch. And I would avoid the hallways because she’s gonna be a real harpy about all this when I tell her she’s kicked out.”

“Wait, you’re going to kick her out when she has a kid?” Klaus asked.

“Yes, but don’t worry. The deal I’m going to offer her as an alternative to blackmail will take care of them both,” Luther said dismissively. “I’m not my dad, I wouldn’t ruin a kid’s life just because I’m mad at their mom. Now get lost. There’s still a nice fire going in the living room if you want some new scenery.”

“Okay, I’m cashing in on that favor right now,” Klaus said before he stood. Luther furrowed his brow for a second but then shrugged and waved for Klaus to continue. “I want you to order the best sushi in Seattle and have it sent to the living room. Like right now.”

“Oh, sure, that’s no problem,” Luther said with a nod. “I’ve got them on speed dial. It’s Allison’s favorite, too.”

“And a pack of smokes. I’ve been out for days and I don’t want to keep pestering other people for theirs,” Klaus said. Diego didn’t know Klaus had pestered anyone but Allison, but apparently he got up to a lot when Diego was busy in the gym or library.

“You got it. Now scram before I change my mind,” Luther said as he picked up his desk phone to make the sushi call. “Leave the door open on your way out.”

The sushi arrived about an hour later, after Klaus had convinced Diego to drag half the bedding from their room downstairs to sit in front of the fire. They also brought books, Klaus’ tarot cards and journal, and an ancient Scrabble game that Diego had discovered in the library. He didn’t expect them to play, but he thought he would bring it along anyway, since Klaus seemed to think they were just camping out in the living room the rest of the afternoon. And that’s exactly what they did, Klaus building them a little nest of soft bedding on the rug in front of the fire. It was warm, cozy and festive with all the Halloween decorations, and lit mostly by fire and candle light, since this room had very few windows. It was… kinda cool and romantic, Diego had to admit. 

“I think you just like feeding me with chopsticks,” Diego said, refusing yet another piece of sushi that Klaus was trying to put in his mouth. He’d already eaten the lion’s share as it was, he couldn’t possibly.

“But it won’t be good later,” Klaus said, watching Diego turn and sit in front of him cross legged instead of side by side. “What are you doing?”

“Distracting you so you stop overfeeding me,” Diego said with a smirk, then held out his palm. Klaus immediately dropped the chopsticks back on the platter and shoved it away from them across the blankets, then mirrored Diego's position.

“Are you serious? You-you want-”

“Yes, I want you to read my palm, or whatever it is you do,” Diego said, absolutely loving the way both the excitement and the light from the fire flickered in Klaus’ eyes. But then Klaus frowned just as he reached out for Diego’s hand, stopping before they touched.

“But you don’t believe in this stuff,” he said, eying Diego suspiciously. “I don’t want you to think I’m stupid.”

“I do not think you’re stupid, Klaus,” Diego said, his palm still hovering between them. “Nobody else can do what I’ve seen you do. So yeah, maybe I don’t believe in this stuff when it’s some dipshit scam artist with a 1-900 number, but I believe in _you_.”

Klaus blinked at him a few times while he gauged Diego’s sincerity, then smiled so sweet that Diego wanted to kiss him. Not yet, though. If he did that Klaus would be distracted again. 

“Okay, if you’re sure,” Klaus said, and Diego thought for a second that he looked like he might tear up, as if Diego was offering him his hand in marriage or something. It was just a palm reading!

Then again, it probably had something to do with Diego letting himself be vulnerable and emotional junk like that, because he’d always been extremely closed off to letting Klaus do this. Before he had been afraid what Klaus might see, but he wasn’t so much anymore. What things could really be uglier or worse than the things Klaus already knew at this point? When he felt Klaus’ palm rest behind his hand Diego took a deep, relaxing breath, just to ground himself for this experience. Then Klaus followed, closing his eyes and inhaling, then exhaling hard like he was blowing out all the thoughts in his own head. 

Klaus only stared at his palm for a few seconds, running the fingers of his other hand over the lines, his purple painted nails grazing the skin so faintly it tickled. Diego watched Klaus’ eyes drift off to the side, like he was going somewhere else in his head. It was hard to not study his face as Klaus absorbed the energy or whatever it was that he was seeing that nobody else could, but even searching his face Diego had no idea if what he was seeing was good or bad. Klaus closed his other palm over Diego’s, grasping his hand from the top and bottom. Then he rubbed his thumb over the heel of Diego’s palm, and it was starting to feel like he was just getting a hand massage here. The anticipation was starting to kill him, until he saw Klaus’ eyes getting glassy with tears. Oh no, maybe this was a bad idea after all.

“Is it that bad?” Diego asked, but Klaus frowned and shook his head - more of a ‘be quiet’ gesture than refuting the question.

“Don’t be afraid or you’ll shut me out,” Klaus said softly, continuing to rub his thumb along Diego’s palm, pressing the center of his hand, gripping his fingers. Diego tried to exhale the fear, but it was hard when he watched a tear slide down Klaus’ cheek followed by a shaky inhale. “I’m.. I’m just feeling the weight of your lifelong relationship with grief and loss and… and the pain, it’s _so_ heavy, and so much blinding red anger, and a bitterness that’s so sharp and twisted deep, like roots, but comfortable in your chest because it’s been there so long. I’m so sorry that’s always there.”

“I hope that’s not all that’s there,” Diego said. He was suddenly not enjoying this anymore. Klaus blinked away his hazy expression to look Diego in the eyes. 

“No, no, not at all. You’re so much more, that’s just… that’s the loudest part, it comes even before love and joy and ambition in your mind. But that doesn’t have to be true forever,” Klaus said, still rubbing Diego’s fingertips softly. “There’s also healing and forgiveness manifesting in a big way. I can see the way your steps are getting lighter and quicker while you run through the flames that you feel trapped in, and you’re not getting burned the same even though the fire isn’t any less hot. Don’t stop, or the smoke will choke your progress.”

“That sounds like a legit horoscope, you should write them for the newspaper,” Diego said, trying to deflect how _seen_ he felt with a little humor. Klaus wasn’t listening though, he was looking far away again, threading his fingers between Diego’s and holding them there. Diego was afraid of the answer, but he still whispered, “What about the future?”

The question seemed to penetrate whatever Klaus was seeing and he smiled, looking quickly at Diego and then looking away bashfully.

“You’re not going to believe me,” Klaus said, circling his fingertips over the back of Diego’s wrist now.

“Tell me anyway,” Diego said, lifting his other hand to touch Klaus’ knuckles. Klaus held that one too, and it must have been the right thing to do because his face lit up, no more trace of tears or sadness in his pretty green eyes. Just the sparkle that Diego loved so much, and again he had to resist kissing Klaus and breaking his focus.

“All I see is… _me,_ ” Klaus said with a little laugh and head shake. That made Diego smile too, he was so good with that assessment. “Well, more like us. And… and I think we’re going to get married?”

“Yes,” Diego said, surprising himself. Klaus seemed to miss that for a second, but he must have sensed the billion butterflies that fluttered to life in Diego’s chest because he looked back with shock, his eyebrows raised.

“Yes? Y-you mean you want to?” Klaus asked cautiously, but the hope in his eyes made Diego 100% sure that’s exactly what he wanted. It just made sense to him, especially right here in this moment when he felt so connected and in love with the beautiful, inspiring, wonderful person sitting in front of him. 

“Yes. Let’s do it,” Diego said sincerely, moving his hands to hold both of Klaus’ between his own.

“What- _now?!_ ” Klaus said, his voice raising so much it almost squeaked. Diego just grinned and nodded. “Are you serious? Don’t fuck with me right now.”

“I’m not fucking with you, Klaus,” Diego said with a laugh. “I want to marry you. I didn’t know that until you said so, but I’m sure now.”

“Really?” Klaus asked softly, his shallow breath trembling with the effort to remain calm. There was still disbelief and hesitancy written all over Klaus’ face, but he nodded. “I want that too.”

“Good, I’m glad. Maybe we can even get Five to officially marry our new aliases on paper, so it’s not just a verbal agreement,” Diego said, reaching out to pet Klaus’ cheek with his knuckles. “As long as you want that. You don’t seem sure.”

“No! No, I am _so_ fucking sure! I just can’t believe _you_ are,” Klaus said, and Diego couldn’t take it anymore. He had to kiss him now, especially because he felt like he was better with love actions rather than words. He unfolded his legs on either side of Klaus, then tucked his hands under Klaus’ knees and started tugging to unfold his legs too. 

“Come here,” Diego said, dragging Klaus across the floor on his butt a few inches and resting Klaus’ thighs over his. Then he reached both hands up to hold Klaus’ neck on either side and kiss him - softly at first, until he felt Klaus’ hands grip him around his ribs and kiss him back. Then Klaus kissed him hard several times in a row, and Diego could feel the intensity of his excitement and happiness in each one.

“I love you,” Klaus whispered between a few more kisses, each one tootheir than the last as he couldn’t stop smiling. 

Diego felt the same, euphoria spreading through him in a way he had never felt before. He moved his hands up to cup Klaus’ jaws, holding him still to give him a proper, sincere kiss now. He let himself drown in the bliss until he was lightheaded, sincerely hoping that all the love and hope and respect he had for Klaus, for _them,_ was being relayed without words. Eventually they had to breathe though, Klaus pressing his forehead to Diego’s and panting softly on his face. 

“I love you, too,” Diego whispered over his face, rubbing his thumb over Klaus’ cheek. “I really can’t think of anything that would make me happier than to be your husband.”

“Oh my God, that’s so sweet,” Klaus said, and he couldn’t stop the happy tears anymore. He leaned forward and rested his head on Diego’s shoulder, arms wrapping around him tight. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Too bad, you get me anyway,” Diego said, petting the back of Klaus’ head against his shoulder. “I’ll ask Luther about getting us a certificate in the morning.”

Klaus chuckled against his shoulder, “He’s going to think we’re so lame.”

“I don’t care. He’s more lame than I am every day,” Diego said, making Klaus laugh again. 

“That’s definitely true,” he said, sitting back and wiping his eyes with both hands. “I wonder what our last names will be. We’ll have to pick one or the other as a married name.”

“Five may have to just hyphenate it on the certificate, since it’s last minute and I’m sure our documentation is already forged with our separate names,” Diego said, but then he realized he’d never actually seen a marriage certificate in his life. “Do they even put your married name on the certificate, or is it individual?”

“I have no idea, I’ve never been married,” Klaus said with a small frown while he thought about it. “Maybe not. I guess we just might not get to share a last name if it will be too much of a bother to recreate the documents. There are plenty of married couples that don’t take their partner’s last name, though. It will be okay.”

“Right, that’s the last thing I care about.”

“What if my name sucks? Oh shit, what if they both suck? We will have to call each other those names all the time, at least in front of people,” Klaus said, his frown deepening.

“I would rather have a stupid name than another inmate number on my chest,” Diego said. 

“Fuck, you’re absolutely right! I’m sorry, I’m so stupid,” Klaus said, shaking his head at himself, but Diego didn’t say that to make him feel stupid. He just wanted Klaus to consider the alternative.

“You are not, stop saying that,” Diego whispered, then lifted one of Klaus’ hands to his own lips to kiss his knuckles. “Besides, all I care about is that I get to call you mine.”

“Aww, you say the nicest things to me,” Klaus said, and Diego could tell by the look on his face that he felt like he didn’t deserve it. It just made Diego want to say those kinds of things even more often, because Klaus deserved that and so much more.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” he asked. Klaus just shrugged, and Diego didn’t know how to fix that self esteem issue, but he hoped if they spent the rest of their lives together eventually Klaus would believe that he meant everything he said, and that he deserved to hear those things.

“We should go upstairs and clean up all that stuff we dragged out in your mom’s room,” Klaus said, breaking their eye contact. Diego had a sneaking suspicion it was just to avoid the subject of his self esteem, and that was fine. He understood perfectly well what it felt like to not want to deal with a sensitive subject, and Diego would never push him to talk about it. 

“Okay, yeah, we can do that. I’m getting kinda hot in front of this fire, anyway,” Diego said.

“You’re always hot,” Klaus said with a wink. He gave Diego a quick nose kiss and then scooted back off of Diego’s lap so he could stand up.

The rest of the early evening was spent smiling at each other every time they happened to catch each other’s eye while they cleaned up Grace’s room. Even being in there couldn’t dull Diego’s emotional buzz from… from getting engaged? _Were_ they engaged? Or were they like, just verbally married now? How did it work when the only thing they would have to ‘prove’ their union would be a fraudulent document? There wouldn’t be a ceremony or rings, or taking vows in front of friends and family. They couldn’t afford anything like that. 

Fuck, that was a depressing thought. Klaus deserved that so much too, especially because Diego knew that Klaus would absolutely _love_ a fancy party where he got to dress up pretty and be the center of attention. But just as Diego was setting Grace’s jewelry box back where they had found it on the dresser, one of the drawers slid out of the box. Inside were all the shiny silver and gold rings that Klaus had been trying on earlier. He was stunned it hadn’t occurred to him until now - this was _perfect!_ He couldn’t give Klaus a ceremony, but he could give him at least some symbolic token of his commitment. Diego had no doubt in his mind that if he was able to tell his mom he was getting married, she would be over the fucking moon about giving him one of her rings to give that person. _Oof,_ that choked him up a little, but Klaus accidentally slammed the wardrobe door behind him and made him jump, startling away the emotion.

“Sorry,” Klaus said, holding on to the door with both hands with a wince as if that was going to help. Diego slid the little drawer shut, deciding to come back another time when Klaus was distracted and pick out a ring to surprise him with later.

As the evening progressed Diego started to lose the euphoria, and while they were watching a movie on the couch he couldn’t pay attention. All the doubts, fears and insecurities started bubbling up, but all of them were about himself. Klaus was perfect, but Diego… was not, not by a long shot. He had been so busy reassuring Klaus that he deserved this earlier, he hadn’t even considered what ‘this’ would mean. Sure, it would mean love and security and sentimental stuff like that, but it would also mean… a lot of things that would suck for Klaus, too. Would someone like him really be okay with living a potentially sexless lifestyle?

Diego had no sincere hope of that part of him ever being ‘cured’ or just going away, and even if it did, who knows how long that would take. Maybe he could never do it, and even if he could, he would most likely be _so_ bad at it. Klaus had no doubt been with a lot of dudes who were really _good_ at sex, Diego would probably never measure up even if he could ever manage to make himself do it. God, it was giving him anxiety just fucking thinking about it, both the concept of having sex _and_ of never having it, both things that would surely disappoint Klaus in some way. Sure he was being patient now, but what about months from now? A year? The _rest_ of his _life_? Certainly Klaus wouldn’t be content with jerking off in the bathroom when he thinks Diego doesn’t realize what he’s doing for the next 40 to 60 years that they were alive. How could Diego take that part of life away from him?

On top of all that horror, would Klaus be happy living the kind of lifestyle they were going to have to have? Everything was going to be boring, low key and quiet, literally forever. They could never draw attention to themselves, or their cover could potentially be blown. They would have to be careful with who they made friends with, where they went, where they lived, where they worked, what they did for fun… All of that would be stunted in the name of safety and secrecy. Klaus was not a boring person. He loved the nightlife, he loved loud music and loud clothes and living life to the fullest. It’s part of what Diego loved about him. But could he really ask Klaus to severely blunt who he was so they could be safe? 

On the other hand, even without Diego that was still the life Klaus would have to live now unless he wanted to go to prison. Even if the cops still thought Diego kidnapped him, which he didn’t think they did, there was no way they would just let Klaus walk free once they learned he was living under a stolen identity. Diego already made that choice for Klaus the minute he decided to murder Craig in that alley. Christ, why the fuck would Klaus even still want to know Diego let alone marry him?

“I think we need to talk,” Klaus said without any prompting, pressing mute on the remote and shifting under Diego’s arm to look at him. He had chewed off the ends of all his purple nails, no doubt sitting there fretting just as much as Diego was. 

“Yeah, I think so, too,” Diego said, but he did _not_ want to have this conversation. His heartstrings were already being tugged just thinking about them potentially agreeing to scratch the whole engagement plan. Diego couldn’t see himself ever loving anyone else like this. This was it for him.

“You first,” Klaus said, shifting all the way out from under Diego’s arm and turning on the cushion to face him, one foot on the floor, the other folded up in front of him.

“ _You_ first, you must have a lot on your mind if you’re the one to bring it up first,” Diego said. He should just air his hang ups and get it over with, but he needed Klaus to start the discussion. There was no easy way to bring up _‘I’m afraid I’ll never be able to fuck you’_ without just blurting it out like that. Klaus worried his bottom lip and searched Diego’s eyes. Maybe he was having the same problem figuring out how to say basically the same thing.

“Why me?” Klaus finally forced out.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… there are so many better people out there, honey. You’ve hardly met anyone since you’ve been out of prison, how do you even know I’m _‘the one?’_ ” he said, closing his eyes tightly and shaking his head. “You can’t possibly know that until you meet other people. What if in a few months you meet someone you like better than me? What if you get a job and there’s a cute girl with a pretty smile that wants to date you? What if you’re more compatible?”

Diego sat with those questions for a few moments, trying to think of how he could ease these fears when Klaus’ point wasn’t exactly invalid. Of course there _could_ be other people out there, but… Diego wanted _this_ one. He couldn’t explain why he was sure, other than…

“Nobody would ever do the things you’ve done for me, nobody would be able to make me happy the way you do, nobody would understand me and be as patient as you are-”

“You don’t know that,” Klaus interrupted, shaking his head and looking away. “You don’t _know._ I’m not special just because I don’t push you when you don’t want to be pushed. There are thousands of understanding people out there.”

“Maybe so, but I’m not going to be as comfortable opening up to those people. They haven’t been through the things we have together, and I’m not sure I would ever be able to be as open with anyone else. Not like I am with you. You disarmed me right from the beginning, broke walls I thought were indestructible,” Diego said, reaching out and taking Klaus’ hand and holding it tight. “I’m never going to leave you just because a random cute girl smiles at me, okay? Even if you decide you don’t want to be married, I will still be here. I will still love you and be with you as long as you want me around.”

“I just don’t want you to feel trapped with me,” Klaus said, and just hearing that broke Diego’s heart a little. Because he would never feel that way about Klaus, but also because that’s exactly how he was feeling about trapping Klaus in a sexless, boring marriage.

“I do not feel trapped, babe. Not even a little bit,” Diego said, trying to catch Klaus’ eye again, but he was just shaking his head and staring at their hands.

“Maybe not yet. But... I also can’t promise you I’m never going to relapse,” Klaus said. Diego heard his breath getting quicker as he admitted that, but Diego already knew that. “I don’t _want_ to, not at all. I’ve never been happier and feeling this good in my life. I didn’t think I would ever be able to say this, but I don’t wanna be numb anymore. But... I can’t lie to you. I still think about it, I still hear the sound of the city and that part of me gets loud again. Especially when I’m feeling low and hopeless.” 

“Klaus, look at me,” Diego said, waiting for Klaus to look back up. There was guilt in his eyes, but there didn’t need to be. “You’re not telling me anything I don’t know and haven’t already made peace with. I know who you are, and I understand and accept that. And if that happens we already know we can beat it, right? I will help you, whether you just need to talk about the struggle, or if you need me to give you the tough love of locking your ass up again. I’ll do it, no matter how hard it is or what ugly things you say to me in the moment.”

“You don’t deserve to have to go through that again, though.”

“So what? I don’t deserve a lot of shit I’ve been through, but I always get through it. _We_ always get through it, right?” Diego said. He watched Klaus lose the struggle to not cry, a few tears leaking out as he closed his eyes and nodded. 

“Yeah, we do,” he admitted. “I’m just afraid because it’s not like we can just go to a divorce lawyer if things get bad, you know? That’s what I mean about being trapped. It wouldn’t be a normal marriage.”

“If Five can forge our marriage, he can forge our divorce too, but I really don’t think that will be necessary,” Diego said, but he realized that maybe he should explain his own hang ups before he went so hard trying to convince Klaus that this was a good idea. “Besides, I’m a lot more worried about you feeling trapped with me than the other way around. You’re amazing.”

Klaus looked confused that Diego would even think that, frowning and wiping his eyes with the thumb of one hand.

“Why would you be worried about that- _oh,_ oh, because of the sex thing?” Klaus asked as it dawned on him mid-sentence. Now it was Diego’s turn to feel shitty and uncomfortable. He already knew Klaus was going to try and tell him that it’s fine, it doesn’t bother him, but that could not possibly be true.

“Yeah,” was all Diego could make himself say now that it was on the table. He didn’t know how to explain all the thoughts out loud. Why did anxiety make it so easy to think the bad thoughts but never easy to explain them to anyone? 

“I know that, and I’ve made peace with that, too,” Klaus said, squeezing Diego’s hand tighter. “If you decide you don’t want to try anymore that’s okay, I’m not going to feel trapped.”

“I don’t think you can say that for sure. What if it can _never_ happen? What if it’s just always going to be me turning you on and then not being able to deliver?”

“That’s _okay,_ honey. I know that it may never happen, and I’m good with it. Of course I would like it if it happens, but if all that ever happens is you love me, and kiss me and hold me the way you already do, that’s all I need. I wouldn’t trade your love for all the good sex I’ve ever had,” Klaus said. Diego could hear the sincerity, but it was still impossible to believe it anyway. “Diego listen, I have been having sex for like 12 years and none of it has ever made me feel as good as I do being _loved_ by you. I mean shit, I numbed myself to the sex with drugs most of the time because I wasn’t into it, but it was the job.I know you’ve got a lot of toxic connotations and experiences with sex in your mind, but I do too. I understand more than you think I do.”

That wasn’t exactly comforting or helpful to know that most of the sex Klaus had was dubiously consensual or happened while he was drugged, even though Diego already figured that. But hearing Klaus say it out loud made it feel worse. If anything it made it even harder for Diego to want to keep trying, because he would never know if he was doing something Klaus didn’t actually like or want. Would he even tell him, or just endure it until it was over like he did with johns? If they were ever going to move forward with trying to have sex, they were eventually going to have to have a serious conversation about boundaries. But that could come later, right now all Diego needed to know was that Klaus was 100% aware and ready for the reality of their future in that department.

“You’re _really_ sure that a sexless marriage would be okay?” Diego asked, because he needed to hear it stated explicitly.

“ _Yes!_ I’m never going to make you do anything you’re uncomfortable with, and I’m not going to get upset if we never have sex,” Klaus said, reaching his hand up to briefly pet Diego’s cheek. “My whole life I’ve gotten so used to people treating me like I mean _nothing,_ just a stupid, worthless slut, but you _don’t_ do that to me. I don’t feel like I’m nothing with you, and I swear that matters more to me than I can possibly say. And _that’s_ why I want to marry you, not because I’m secretly hoping you’ll be magically all better and fuck me someday.”

“You’re definitely not nothing, you’re the coolest person I’ve ever known,” Diego said, but then he was suddenly hit with a new fear. “But I also don’t want you to eventually internalize it and feel bad about yourself, like maybe I’m not attracted to you enough to make it happen or something, because that’s absolutely not true.” 

“I do wonder sometimes if maybe you’re not actually gay or bisexual and that’s part of the anxiety,” Klaus said with a little nod.

“I have no idea what I am, but I have no problems being attracted to you, or with the concept of the kind of sex we would have if it ever happens,” Diego said. “I know how it works, that’s never been the problem. I would have the same issues with anyone, I promise it’s not you. You’re perfect.”

“I don’t know about ‘ _perfect,_ ’” Klaus said, but he was smiling now and it made Diego smile too. 

“Definitely perfect to me,” Diego said. Klaus rolled his eyes affectionately. “You are! I know this is fucking cheesy, but since we’re on the subject - you make me a better person just knowing you. You really do. Loving you, spending time with you, it’s all changed me in the best way, I think. I’ve spent my whole life hating everyone and everything, being distrustful of people and lashing out before I even knew what their intentions were because hurting them first was easier than letting them hurt me. But now I want to be kinder to the other people in my life just because I know you. Just ask Luther. I would have never been able to find it in myself to forgive him two months ago.”

“Diego, that’s so fucking sweet. I swear you just like seeing me cry,” Klaus said, wiping fresh tears even though he was still smiling.

“When it’s because you feel good, then yeah, but I love you even when they’re sad tears, too,” Diego said, too high on feelings to stop letting out the cheesiest things. But he wasn’t sorry, because Klaus needed to know he was still loved even when he didn’t feel happy, especially with his depression that intensified the feelings of worthlessness.

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Klaus said, not wiping his tears this time. 

Diego shifted on the couch to face Klaus and wiped the tears for him with his thumbs, then leaned forward to kiss him. All the other fears and concerns melted away, just like they always did when he got to kiss Klaus. Maybe their marriage would be full of struggle or even hardship while they learned to navigate around each other’s personal issues, and also the challenge of being fugitives with secret identities, but it would also be so full of understanding and patience, love and ride-or-die devotion, too. They’ve already killed for each other, went on this journey full of horror, disastrous setbacks and unbelievable pain, and none of that could break them apart. Really, what could be harder than what they’ve already gone through? 

Maybe Klaus was right when he said they met by design of fate. Or maybe that’s just what love is _supposed_ to feel like? Either way, Diego was ready for the leap of faith - another thing he’d never had before they met. Klaus was already the best thing that had ever happened to him, so it could only get better from here Diego decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I'm still going to attempt to get chapter 25 posted this Friday, but if it's late again I apologize. It's written, it just needs to be edited, but I'm also re-writing a chunk of the last chapter concurrently so I have a lot of balls in the air. If it's not Friday, it will be shortly after. Thank you for your patience! ♥♥


	28. The Fool: Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** OKAY SO. This is the only chapter that's going to ever have perspective switches, but they shouldn't be too confusing. I marked the switches with "♦♦♦♦♦" so you know when it happens! Since it's almost the end, I wanted each of them to have a little personal thought process/personal interaction with the supporting characters before they leave.

_** October 13th, 2015, 6:28am ** _

The little moon alarm clock going off was as annoying as ever, but for the first time in a while Diego woke up feeling good. He yawned and rubbed his eyes, then looked to his left to see Klaus also lying on his back, snoring softly at the ceiling. The alarm rarely woke him too, and Diego kind of liked it that way. He rolled on his left side, propped up his head on his palm and just stared at Klaus for a while in the dusty rose colored light of morning. He also kind of wanted to touch Klaus’ bare chest, rest his hand over his heart and feel it beat, maybe trail his hand down to feel his soft abs under the blanket. But no, that would be weird to do while he was sleeping.

Maybe that’s something husbands could do? He had no doubt Klaus wouldn’t be bothered by it at all, but still. Diego needed him to be conscious before he did anything like that, even if he would feel less pressure if Klaus wasn’t awake, so he didn’t feel like he was letting Klaus down when he just wanted to casually explore but not try more _things_. Then again, it’s not like he could really feel the sensation of Klaus’ skin under most of his numb fingertips, anyway. At least Diego knew it would be okay to lean down and kiss his cheek, so he did. He held the other side of Klaus’ face in his palm and pressed a firm kiss to his cheekbone, just hard enough to call Klaus out of his dreams. Exactly what Diego wanted.

 _“MMmhnnng,”_ was the noise Klaus made in his throat, then blinked hard a couple times as he dragged himself out of unconsciousness. When his eyes settled on Diego hovering over his face he smirked but closed his eyes again. “Morning.” 

“Good morning,” Diego said, then leaned down to kiss Klaus’ forehead, making him chuckle deep in his chest.

“Did you miss me in your sleep or something?” Klaus asked, following it with a yawn. He opened his eyes again and reached up to pet Diego’s scruffy cheek.

“Something like that,” Diego said, and this time he did let the hand on Klaus’ face fall down to his warm chest. He could feel Klaus’ heart beating under his palm, and it made him just as happy as he thought it would a few minutes ago.

“You okay?” Klaus asked, holding his own hand over Diego’s on his chest and searching his eyes.

“Yeah, of course,” Diego said, bit his lip for a moment and then added. “Just psyching myself up to go talk to Luther.” 

“Are you having second thoughts?” Klaus asked, all the sleepiness gone from his face now. Diego needed to alleviate that anxiety immediately, so he leaned down to press his lips to Klaus’. Just a quick one, before anybody had to experience the other’s morning breath, but just enough to make Klaus smirk and relax.

“Definitely not,” Diego said, smiling back. “I just wanted to let you know I was leaving for a bit, but then I got distracted by how cute you are.”

“Oh, by all means, keep being distracted then,” Klaus said, batting his eyes with exaggeration. Diego took the invitation, leaning in to kiss his stubbly jaw, then his soft neck where Diego nuzzled his face and left it there. Klaus’ breath picked up and he laughed, petting the back of Diego’s head. “I love how cuddly you are in the morning.”

 _Ugh,_ Diego wished he could keep this up, just continue to kiss Klaus’ body, make him breathless and needy, but no, that wouldn’t be fair. Diego was already feeling the anxiety creeping up the second his dick got interested in what was going on. Plus, he had to catch Luther before he went to work, anyway. He could still lie here for a few more minutes and enjoy this closeness, though. Klaus’ fingers threaded in his hair, Diego's face nuzzled into his neck. He couldn’t believe he got to wake up like this the rest of his life. He only hoped someday he could let himself dive even deeper into the moment without fear.

“I guess I should get up,” he mumbled against Klaus’ throat. He heard and felt Klaus’ soft groan, then his hand moving down to grip the back of Diego’s neck instead of his hair.

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“If you wanna be husbands then I have to, or Luther will be gone,” Diego said, moving his face down to kiss Klaus’ chest. Fuck, he never wanted to stop doing that. So he did it again, just as good the second time.

“God, I love you, and how you’re already so comfortable using ‘husbands,’” Klaus said. Diego picked up his head to look him in the face.

“You’re okay with that, right? Do you want to use something else?”

“No, no, that’s perfect. I just mean I’m glad you’re sure this is what you want,” Klaus said. “I want it too.”

“Good, then I need to get up,” Diego said, forcing himself to push himself up into a sitting position. He hated losing all that snuggly warmth and affection, but they had plenty of time for that later.

“Do you want me to come with you?” Klaus asked, and Diego had to think about it for a moment. 

“Is it okay if I tell him by myself?” 

“Sure, whatever will make it easier,” Klaus said, then yawned and stretched. The way he groaned and arched his back, the comforter sliding down to his hips - it was too almost too sexy to handle when Diego was already struggling to not get worked up. He took a steadying breath and looked away until Klaus settled again. “Oh, hey. We’re supposed to meet Allison at 7:30 for breakfast, if you wanted to meet me down in the kitchen when you’re done.”

“Okay, yeah, I’ll be there. It shouldn’t take me too long, as long as he’s in his office or the gym,” Diego said, clearing his throat and trying like hell to ignore his arousal. _Not now,_ damn it.

“Good luck, babe,” Klaus said, rubbing Diego’s shoulder.

Luther was just locking his office door when Diego finally made it downstairs. His anxiety ratcheted up impossibly higher, but he was determined. And really, why was he anxious? It’s not because he was ashamed of wanting to marry Klaus, or of the concept of marriage and commitment, or any discernible reason. All he could figure is that he was afraid of Luther telling him he was crazy, or telling him that he wouldn’t help. Or maybe nerves were just normal about this sort of thing? It didn’t matter, he was doing this.

“Hey, wait up!” Diego called, starting to jog before Luther took off down the hall in the other direction. He had his suit coat draped over his arm that was holding his briefcase, and Diego momentarily wanted to tease him about being a stuffy business nerd, but that could wait.

“Good morning,” Luther said, waiting for Diego to make it up to him before asking what he wanted. “Did you need something?”

“Do I need a reason to talk to my brother?” Diego asked, panting slightly from the jog. Luther just raised his eyebrow with a smirk. Diego nodded. “Yeah okay, I do need something.”

“What can I do for you?” Luther asked, tucking his keys in his pocket and waiting patiently for Diego to collect his thoughts. 

“Uh…” Diego started lamely, panicked for a moment, then forced himself to talk. He had to say this. “D-do you know anything about getting a marriage certificate?”

The grin that split Luther’s face as he realized what he was being asking for was enough to send Diego to an early grave, but he didn’t show it. Luther reached out his free hand to slap Diego’s shoulder good-naturedly, then pulled his hand back quickly.

“Oh right, no touching, sorry,” Luther said, then cleared his throat and tried to compose himself. “I’m just excited for you, man. I mean you’re both crazy, but I’m not surprised you asked him.”

“He asked me. Kind of. It was uh-...,”’ Diego said, then shook his head and decided to not even try to explain because he knew that sounded even crazier. “Anyway, can you help?”

“You know what’s funny?” Luther said, but Diego didn’t find anything funny about this. He shrugged with frustrated exaggeration. “Five already figured this was going to happen. He told me that the first day he met you guys.”

“That’s fucking weird,” Diego said with a frown. 

“He’s just really good at reading people, and he really likes Klaus. Not you, though,” Luther said with a snort of laughter. 

“That’s not new, everyone likes him better,” Diego said, then waved his hand in a ‘let’s go’ motion. “You still haven’t answered me. Can you help?”

“Yeah, sure. Five will be here today,” Luther said, checking his watch. “In like three hours, actually. He’s bringing your stuff, you can ask him to get the license then. Just tell him you already talked to me and I’m good with it.”

“O-okay, thank you,” Diego said, and just like that all the anxiety just morphed into fluttery excitement in his chest. This was really happening! Somehow the easiest part of this entire experience was committing to a lifelong partnership, and he couldn’t be anything but happy. He even smiled at Luther for potentially the first time in their lives. “You’re not going to give me any shit?”

“Any shit about what, exactly? For getting married?” 

“Yeah.”

“No, I think it’s great. I think it will make your transition into ‘the real world’ a little easier, too,” Luther said, using air quotes with one hand. “For both of you.”

“Uh, sure,” Diego said, but he really had to grit his teeth on that one. If he was to decide which one of them lived more in the ‘real world’ it certainly wouldn’t be Luther, raised in a bubble of privilege and opportunity since birth. He could throw that in Luther’s face, but he was trying extremely hard to not be _that guy_ anymore. At least not while Luther was helping him, but it did remind him just how irritating and condescending he could be even if he was trying to be nice. “Well, I guess that’s all I had to say. I’ll let you get to work.”

“Alright. Congratulations, man, really,” Luther said, giving Diego a little awkward solute before taking off down the hallway.

Klaus wasn’t in the kitchen yet when Diego made it down there, since his conversation with Luther went a lot quicker than he expected, but Allison was there. She was standing at the stove all dressed for the day, frying chicken in a pan of grease. It smelled fucking amazing in there, but Diego had never had fried chicken for breakfast.

“Hey, do you need help?” he asked as he entered, making her jump and look up. 

“Oh, hey!” she said as she realized who walked in. “Yeah, you can help. Do you know how to use a waffle iron?”

“I do,” he said, walking up to her side. 

“Okay great! I already made the batter, it’s in the fridge,” she said, plucking out the sizzling pieces of chicken with tongs and setting them on a plate with a paper towel over it.

Diego got the batter and waffle iron out of the cupboard and got to work, keeping their conversation cooking-based. He could tell her about him and Klaus deciding to get married, but he figured he should wait for Klaus if they were going to tell her. He was a lot closer to her than Diego was, so he would probably want to be the one to tell her anyway.

“Do I smell chicken?” Klaus asked as he walked into the kitchen. Diego looked up and smiled as his heart got fluttery again. Klaus looked so fucking good, as always, but Diego loved when he did his makeup and everything, too. He could see sparkly, light green glitter on his eyelids all the way across the room.

“Good morning, sunshine!” Allison said, turning off the burner and holding up the heavy plate of chicken.

“Fuck yeah, I love fried food for breakfast,” Klaus said, pushing up the sleeves of his sweater and walking over to take the plate of chicken from her. “Are we eating outside?”

“Might be too cold this early, just hang on and we’ll go downstairs,” Allison said. 

“What’s downstairs?” Klaus asked. Diego was listening intently while he flopped the last waffle on a pile and unplugged the iron. 

“The wine cellar, but there’s a little sitting area down there. I hate sitting at the huge dining room table when there’s only a few of us,” she said, walking over to the fridge to get out the syrup. “Okay, let’s go. Oh, Diego, can you grab some paper towels? Our hands are going to get messy.”

“Yep, I’ll be right behind you,” he said. 

♦♦♦♦♦

The sitting area in the basement turned out to be a black high top bar-style table with four chairs around it. The floors and ceiling were shiny polished cedar, and the walls were red brick and covered with shelves and shelves of wine and liquor. There were drapey ivy planters hanging around, their vines dangling halfway to the floor in some places. Neat. If Klaus wasn’t trying to be completely sober he could have easily got lost in this room, sampling dusty bottles of booze that were older than he was. Not now, though. Now he was adamantly ignoring the surroundings, focusing on his awesome breakfast and pleasant company instead.

“Oh hey that reminds me, Five should be here in a while to bring our stuff,” Diego said, distracting Klaus from listening to Allison talk about all the places she wanted to take him once they could travel freely. 

“Oh, he’s coming here? He rarely comes here,” Allison said. “He’s a useful guy but uh- he’s got some issues.”

“Don’t we all,” Klaus said dismissively. He rather liked Five, even if he did pull a gun on him after the first 10 minutes of them meeting. “Does he have parents?”

“I don’t think so. I think Luther said they were spies that got murdered or captured overseas and just never returned when he was young,” Allison said, then she smiled. “Do you know why they call him Five?”

“Do tell,” Klaus said, folding his hands and resting his elbows on the table with exaggerated interest.

“His real name is Fievel, like the mouse,” she said, chuckling to herself. “But don’t tell him I told you. He might actually kill me.”

“The mouse?” Diego asked, his eyebrows drawn together in confusion.

“Like, Fievel Goes West, a cartoon about a cowboy mouse,” Klaus explained, giggling at Diego’s face. He clearly had not seen that movie, so the amusement was lost on him. “You definitely shouldn’t have told me, now I’m going to think about it the entire time I talk to him.”

“I thought the reason would be a lot cooler than that,” Diego said. “Like a villain code name in a James Bond movie.”

“Same. Now I’m just more concerned about him. Where does he live? Who takes care of him? Does he go to school? Who buys him liquor?” Klaus rattled off. 

“As far as I know he takes care of himself just fine, other than being-” Allison said, then whistled and made the ‘crazy’ motion with her hand next to her temple. “You know?”

“I can’t even laugh. Someone should like, intervene on his behalf,” Klaus said, holding his chest.

“Would you dare try and tell that kid what to do?” Diego asked. “He threatened your life just for talking to his weird mannequin.”

“Exactly,” Allison said with a nod. “You don’t tell Five what to do. He’s been his own boss for years now. Luther tries to keep tabs on him, but sometimes he disappears for weeks without checking in and there’s nothing we can do. If we had the police look for him he would go to prison the rest of his life for the kind of work he does. So we have to just… let him do what he wants. I even tried to convince Luther to adopt him just so he had parents on paper at least, and good mental health insurance, but I guess he’s completely off the grid. Nobody knows he exists unless he wants them to know.”

“Man, now I’m sad,” Klaus said with a frown. “I wonder if he even has friends.”

“Hazel is his friend, and so is Luther in a way. They mostly have a business relationship, but Five knows if he ever needed anything he could ask us,” Allison explained, then reached over and patted Klaus’ other hand on the table. “But hey, I have some news that might cheer you up.”

“Oh?”

“I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I realized you’re right,” she started. “I’ve been sitting around here feeling sorry for myself for too long. So I called my agent and asked her to scare me up a few scripts last week, and I have an audition after Halloween! I fly out to L.A. on November 1st.”

“Aww, that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you!” Klaus said sincerely. “Did you change your mind about starting a family?”

“No, but Luther says he is working on how to distance himself from the company in ways that will give him more time off, but that will be a long process before he’s home enough for a family,” she said with a one-shoulder shrug. “I figured taking on a small supporting role in the meantime will help me start feeling like myself again, and… keep me focused on something besides getting day drunk and letting the months just pass me by.”

“That’s a great idea. You’re much too talented and sexy to let yourself waste away in this big, stupid house waiting around for someone to pay attention to you,” Klaus said, his heart beaming with sunshine and pride for her taking back the reins of her life. “And whenever Diego and I get a phone at our new place I’ll make sure Luther tells you the number so you can call me if you need help with the sobriety stuff. I know it doesn’t happen overnight.”

“Thank you, honey, you’re so thoughtful,” Allison said, but her smile was bittersweet now. “I haven’t been drinking since you called me on my bullshit but… it’s definitely hard. I’m afraid that I’m just going to fall back into the habit as soon as you guys leave and everything gets boring and lonely around here again.”

“Well, hopefully that won’t happen if you get that part,” Diego said, startling Klaus a bit. He had been so quiet Klaus almost forgot he was paying attention. “It also might help if you did some AA meetings or something. Five’s making both of us go to meetings like that. I’m sure they are torture but he seems to think they’re useful.”

“Ugh, there’s no such thing as doing things anonymously when you’re me,” Allison said, slouching back in her chair and looking overwhelmed already. “Plus, those meetings have a religious undertone I don’t care for.”

“You’re not wrong,” Klaus said, nodding solemnly. That’s part of why those kinds of meetings never worked for him either. He didn’t believe finding Jesus was the answer to his drug habit. “But I can still be your sober friend.” 

Allison smiled and nodded. “I would like that. You can call me, too, but I think you’ve already got a good partner for that.”

“Oh my god, speaking of partners, I can’t believe I haven’t told you yet!” Klaus said, sitting back up straight with excitement as he remembered the news.

“Told me what?!” Allison asked, her eyes getting wide and alarmed at Klaus’ sudden change in mood. Klaus looked at Diego, waiting for nonverbal permission to tell her. Diego just smiled and held up his hand like ‘go ahead.’

“Diego and I decided to get married!”

Allison started screaming, so Klaus started screaming, too. They both slid off their high stools and hugged, leaving Diego chuckling at the table and covering his face. Allison let go of Klaus and zoomed around the table to hug Diego too, and Klaus was surprised to see him accept. It’s not like he could have avoided it anyway, but he patted the back of her arm politely even if he was frozen like a stunned statue otherwise. When she moved back Klaus watched Diego let out a deep, lip-fluttering exhale, like he’d braced himself and held his breath for the hug attack.

“That’s so exciting! I’m so happy for you guys, oh my gosh,” she said, running back around to hug Klaus again. “When did this happen?”

“Last night! I never expected him to agree, but here we are,” Klaus said, trying extremely hard to not get choked up. He would like to go one god damn day without crying, but this meant a lot to him.

“Luther said I just have to tell Five today and he can get the certificate made,” Diego said, still looking like he was recovering from the unexpected physical contact, but at least he was still smiling. “Apparently he predicted this. You’ve got some clairvoyant competition, babe.”

“I can’t believe it’s really happening,” Klaus said, suddenly feeling lightheaded with all the excitement and love coursing through him.

“What about a wedding? Are you guys going to plan one when you get on your feet? You can have it here! I would love to help you with this!” Allison said, too excited to even sit back down.

“Uh, I think that kind of thing is a long way off, if we ever do it,” Klaus said, but her smile dropping made him feel bad. “But if we do have a ceremony or whatever, you’re definitely the maid of honor, alright?”

“Okay, great! Just tell me if you need a venue or flowers or outfits, I have an enormous bank account and a billion connections for that kind of thing. It would be so beautiful and fun,” she said, then hugged Klaus again. 

He held her tight and smiled at Diego over her shoulder. Once again he felt completely unworthy of something this amazing, both for having a wonderful partner and having a friend like Allison. If someone told him that this was his future three months ago he would think they were insane. Not even he could have predicted so many incredible things happening to him in such a short amount of time. It made all the horrible shit he and Diego went through seem worth it, even if he was still permanently haunted by ChaCha’s brain spilling out on the carpet in the motel room. 

“Mrs. Hargreeves,” someone said by the spiral staircase leading upstairs. They all looked up to see the blond girl that had come to Klaus and Diego’s bedroom a few times. Klaus wondered what her name was, since they’d never learned it. “Your agent is on the line upstairs, I left the phone off the hook in the kitchen for you.”

“Oh, okay, great. I’ll be right there, thank you,” Allison said, then turned back to Klaus and Diego. “Sorry to eat and run, but find me later after you meet Five if you want. I’ll have the kitchen pull out all the stops and make us a kickass dinner tonight to celebrate the engagement!”

“Alright, that sounds great. Diego and I can clean this up,” Klaus said, but Allison shook her head.

“No, just leave it. Sylvia will collect it all.”

“I mean it’s no trouble, we can-”

“Klaus, it’s fine. That’s what we pay them for, I promise they don’t mind. It’s not like they’re prisoners here,” Allison said, waving her hand. “You guys just enjoy each other today, okay?”

She winked and took off for the stairwell, leaving them with a loud silence now that her excitable presence was missing. Klaus looked at Diego and smiled as he watched him lean back in his chair and sigh.

“You extroverts exhaust me,” Diego said, but he looked quite content and warm.

♦♦♦♦♦

They were just headed back up to their bedroom to wait for Five, taking the first steps of the big foyer staircase, when the front door opened. Five walked in holding a black umbrella over his head and his suitcase in the other hand, and black backpack straps were barely visible over the shoulders of his black suit. Hazel had no umbrella, just wet shoulders and black sunglasses with water droplets on them. While Five shook out his umbrella and closed it Hazel took off his sunglasses and hooked the folded arm in the chest pocket of his suit coat.

“Ah! My two favorite people,” Klaus joked, walking back down the steps to greet the guests like he lived here. Diego’s anxiety about basically everything kicked back in full force upon seeing Five, but he followed Klaus over to greet them anyway.

“You left this in my car,” Hazel said to Klaus, and everyone watched him pull a pastel tye-dye jellyfish out of his pants pocket. 

“Goochy!” Klaus laughed and took the jellyfish, wiggling its tentacles like he did the first day he got it weeks ago. He handed it back to Hazel after a few seconds. “You keep it, so you don’t forget your new step kid.”

Five and Hazel both rolled their eyes, but Diego saw Hazel fighting a grin.

“I couldn’t possibly forget you, felon,” Hazel said, but he took the dumb little toy from Klaus and stuffed it back in his pocket anyway. “Agnes wouldn’t let me.”

“Very touching, but I have a schedule,” Five said, snapping his fingers. “Let’s go to Luther’s office.”

Diego and Klaus jogged to keep up with Five’s brisk stride. Why did he always walk like he was on a mission?

“He locked it. Do you have a key?” Diego asked as they reached Luther's door.

“Of course. I have a key to everything,” Five said, tucking his umbrella under his arm and digging in his pants pocket. “It’s what I do. Partly, anyway.”

“Okay that’s pretty cool,” Klaus said, watching Five flip through a ring with about 20 identical silver keys on it. Five smirked as he shoved a key in the lock and Luther’s office door swung open. 

Diego’s heart was starting to pound, he could barely lock the door behind himself as he followed Five and Klaus in the room. Hazel had wandered off toward the kitchen, having no important business other than to wait for Five to be finished. Klaus took his usual seat in front of Luther’s desk, Diego sat next to him and then Five sat in Luther’s seat, sweeping Luther’s important piles of papers out of the way without concern. 

“Alright, first day as new men, how are you feeling?” Five asked once he sat down, hands folded in front of him.

“Nauseated,” Diego said, not even having the energy to spare to get defensive about Five calling Klaus a man. 

“That depends what my new name is,” Klaus said at the same time. Five smiled and pulled his suitcase closer to him, snapping it open and pulling out two black pocket folders. He shut his case and set it on the floor next to him, then flipped open the first folder and pointed at Klaus.

“Kade Duvall - you’re 29 years old, born on September 8th, 1986 in Ann Arbor, Michigan to Katie and Jade Duvall, a lesbian couple that used an anonymous sperm donor-” Five began, but Klaus interrupted.

“Damn, even my fictional self doesn’t have a dad,” he said, then quickly added. “Also I can’t believe you made me a virgo.”

Five gave him a withering look and continued. 

“You have two older half sisters, but they both moved to Canada ten years ago because they hate your shared biological mother Katie and only talk to their dad. Jade had no children before she married Katie and they had you, but she did have a doctorate in astrophysics and taught at the University of Michigan. Pay attention, you have to know your own story inside and out.”

“Sorry, I’m listening,” Klaus said, snapping his attention back to Five. “I have two bitchy sisters and two lesbian moms. Got it. I’m sure I turned out great - or not, since I must be dead.”

“Yes, you’re probably dead, but so are your moms, so they won’t still be looking for you,” Five said, and Diego watched Klaus do a double take.

“Why are the moms dead?” he asked cautiously. 

“Murder-suicide pact, just last year. They couldn’t handle that the two older children hated them and their son was a junkie that disappeared a year before that, on top of what I have to assume were severe underlying mental health conditions,” Five said, so matter-of-factly despite the horrifying details.

“ _Jesus Christ,_ those poor women. But why does my alias have to be a shitty junkie, too?” Klaus asked, frowning and hugging himself.

“Because it has to be believable, obviously,” Five said, pulling another sheet of paper out of the folder to read from. “But if it’s any consolation, most of the new identities I give out are presumably dead junkies, since nobody usually notices or cares if they go missing, including the police.”

“I am not consoled by that whatsoever, but continue, I guess,” Klaus said, blinking his eyes as if he was purging that information from his mind. Instead it triggered another thought. “Wait. Five… you’re not finding and killing these missing people to make sure they’re never found, are you?”

“Of course not, you idiot. They have just been missing for a long time and forgotten about. I’m not even sure if this man is actually dead, but it seems he would have turned up by now if he was going to. He’s probably dead in a landfill somewhere,” Five said, and that was even too much for Diego to stomach.

“Can’t wait to hear the charming story you’ve got for me,” Diego said, rubbing his eyes with both hands.

“I wonder if everyone thinks I’m dead, too,” Klaus said quietly, still hugging himself and frowning. “Just another useless, stupid junkie that wound up dead in a landfill.”

“Hey, look at me,” Diego said, waiting for Klaus to look up before continuing. “You’re not useless, stupid _or_ dead, okay? This isn’t your fate, just some other poor dude.”

“Could have been, though. I wonder if anyone’s going to use my identity now that I’m considered missing or dead,” Klaus said, but Five interrupted again.

“Kade had no priors, not even drug possession. I certainly wouldn’t give anyone your old identity that’s wanted for murder, so rest assured Klaus Quinn won’t be reanimated by some other schmuck anytime soon,” Five said, missing the point of Klaus being disturbed by the whole concept of forgotten dead junkies. Then he passed Klaus a photo. Diego caught a glimpse of young Klaus, the mugshot from a couple weeks ago that Five had promised to give him. At least it made Klaus smirk instead of sitting there looking miserable. “There is a lot more information in this folder you need to memorize, and I don’t want you leaving this house without knowing every line in that folder, front and back.” 

“Ugh, homework,” Klaus said, but Diego would make sure he did as he was told. 

Except now that meant Five was going to discuss his new identity next. There was no reason for him to have this kind of anxiety, but Diego was really not sure he wasn’t about to throw up. He hadn’t even asked about the wedding certificate yet. Five opened the next folder and Diego braced himself.

“Dominic Romero, 24 years old, born June 1st, 1991 in Spokane, Washington. Your parents are Nate and Maria Romero and you have no siblings. Nate died in a factory fire in 2005, and Maria is still alive and well, but Dominic has been missing for six years, so she won’t be looking for you,” Five explained. “There’s also a fake address and phone number for her in this folder, should anyone ever grill you about her and whether you keep in contact. If you want to sell it to the new friends or coworkers you have, mail her a christmas card or mother’s day card every once in a while. The address is just one of Luther’s properties he owns under a different name, so the mail won’t go anywhere important.”

“And why did this guy go missing?” Diego asked, almost afraid to hear the answer.

“As far as I can tell he made connections with coke transporters out of Argentina, but it was based on circumstantial evidence in a police report, and the case has been considered closed for the last three years. They have no DNA or prints on file for him, either, so he’s basically just a ghost in a dusty filing cabinet,” Five said, picking out another piece of paper from Diego’s folder. “Chances are that if he was involved with the drug trade he was either killed or stripped of his own identity too, just like this. But the only catch with Romero is he has a seven year old son.”

“Whoa, he must have fathered that kid as a teenager,” Klaus said, touching the tips of his fingers like he was doing the math.

“What the fuck would I do if someone’s kid came looking for me?” Diego asked with a frown.

“You tell him you’re not the same guy, just the same name,” Five said with a shrug. “But I promise this kid thinks his dad is long gone. The only way he would ever find you is if he physically ran into you by accident and overheard your name somehow, which is extremely unlikely. I don’t expect it to ever come up, but you need to know that information, anyway. It’s not illegal to abandon your son, just shitty.”

“What if the mom tried to hit him with child support?” Klaus asked, and Diego could tell by the flat look on Five’s face that he wasn’t expecting so many questions on the matter.

“She got married to a wealthy construction foreman, she won’t be worried about it. Plus, she thinks her child’s father is dead or long gone, too. She has no reason to ever suspect that he’s alive and well, so unless you knock on her door, that won’t be an issue, either,” Five said, then slid both of the folders toward them across the desk. “In here are your new driver’s licenses, birth certificates, social security cards, passports, bank account information, medicaid cards, and high school diplomas. And Kade has college transcripts, too, but he dropped out after a year and a half. Should you ever want to go to college you can use his credits, though.”

“If either of us are going to college it definitely wouldn’t be me,” Klaus said, and Diego shook his head.

“That’s not for me either,” Diego said, but he wasn’t finished asking Five questions. “Okay so, say we get jobs and get our own place and stuff, how would we change the address on the IDs?”

“Just call Luther and he will get in touch with me, but really you could just go get a new one,” Five said. “Everything I made for you is legitimate, and neither of these guys are on any kind of watch list, so you could walk right into the state building and request a new one. They won’t know you’re not that person. You can do everything that everyone else can do, including travel out of the country, as long as you’re not committing crimes and getting noticed by authorities. You can even vote if you want to.”

“What about get married?” Klaus asked, making Diego inhale and hold his breath. He wasn’t expecting Klaus to be the one to bring it up. 

“Sure, you can do that too,” Five said with a small nod and a smile that Diego couldn’t interpret.

“What about right now?” Klaus asked. Diego could tell Five was physically resisting a sigh, but he nodded again.

“Yes, you could do it right now, but I don’t know if I would suggest going to a state building in _this_ city. They are still on the lookout for you both here, because of your connection to Luther,” Five said, then waited a few beats before reluctantly adding to the thought. “... or I can get the certificate for you within a couple days, if you’re that dead set on doing it now.”

“Really? It wouldn’t be too much trouble? What about changing one of our last names on the new IDs you just made?” Klaus fired off, and Diego was so proud and relieved that Klaus took the reins of this subject.

“Making the cards themselves isn’t that complicated. All the wait time comes from me having to do research and tracking down any possible instances for interference,” Five said. He looked back and forth between them. “If I were you I would wait until you both know each other better, and figure out how to live together, though. Divorce is expensive.”

“That’s not an issue,” Diego said, finding his voice just in time to defend their choice. “If we can survive all the time we’ve been on involuntary house arrest, I don’t think we need any more domestic practice.”

“Suit yourself. Which last name will I be changing, then?”

“Mine,” Klaus said before Diego even had a moment to consider it. “Romero is a much cooler last name than Duvall. Although the alliteration of Dominic Duvall does have a nice ring to it.”

“Make up your mind,” Five said impatiently.

“I’ll be Mrs. Romero. Print it,” Klaus said with a resolute slap on the desk, but then he reminded himself of something else. “Oh, hey where’s Delores today?”

Five narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Klaus, as if he was trying to judge whether he was being mocked or not. 

“She wasn’t feeling well today, so I left her at home. I’ll tell her you asked about her though, she would like that,” Five said cautiously.

“You have a house? Where do you live? Like I’m sure you have a place, but I also can’t see you doing anything but squatting in abandoned buildings because that’s how I met you,” Klaus said, and Five looked at him like he had never seen a bigger idiot in his life.

“As if I would tell either of you chucklefucks where I live,” Five said, then bent to the side to grab the black backpack off the floor. He set it on the desk and unzipped it, then pulled out a stack of four books of various sizes. “Anyway, these are books on homesteading and home finance skills, interview and workplace etiquette, how to write a resume, and how to start your life over after recovering from a debilitating addiction. Don’t make that face Klaus, you’re an addict. That’s not a slight on your character, it’s just the truth.”

“I don’t think reading a self help book is going to fix that but whatever,” Klaus said with his arms folded. “But I was making the face about writing a resume actually, for your information. What am I supposed to put on there as work experience? I don’t think ‘proficient cock sucker’ is gonna grab me any positions.”

“You lie, obviously. I expect you’re good at that already,” Five said, unrattled by Klaus’ vulgarity. He just zipped the backpack closed and stood up. “I’ll have your marriage certificate and new identification ready in a couple days. Any more questions?”

“Did you say you made me a driver’s license?” Klaus asked. 

“Yes?”

“I can’t drive.”

“So don’t drive,” Five said, slinging the bag over his shoulder. “I already have the Michigan driver’s license template, not the state ID one, so that’s what you get. Maybe it’s time you learn.”

“You did drive from Montana to the bottom of Idaho and I wasn’t even conscious for most of it,” Diego said. Klaus frowned at him but Diego just shrugged. “I’m just saying, I don’t think it’s impossible for you to learn if you wanted to.”

“That was a miracle and it only happened because I was already out of my mind. Hey, wait up,” Klaus called as Five reached the office door. He got up from his chair and patted Diego’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back, I want to ask him something else.”

As Klaus ran off after Five for whatever reason, Diego stared at the black folders in front of him. There was a glimmer of hope in his chest, but it was twisted with all the anxiety of literally becoming a new person. Not a fake person, even, but a _real man_ with family and a life that went missing. He was just pirating some poor dude’s entire life, and it felt wrong despite all the doors it would open for Diego himself. 

Would anything he did under this guy’s name ever feel real? Or earned? He supposed it didn’t matter, it’s not like he had any other option. He had already planned on scrapping his own name once he left town and deserted the gang, anyway. It was either this or run the risk of using his own name and getting carted off by the FBI, or found by the gang. He was just Dominic Romero now, for better or worse, but at least he would be married to an amazing person that would help him get through this. The thought lifted Diego’s heart a little, because now he could work on giving himself and Klaus the life they deserved from the beginning, before every adult in their life failed them. They could be _normal,_ or at least as normal as two people with a complicated past can be. Then again, they have no past now. 

Diego Calderón is dead.

♦♦♦♦♦

“Five, stop for a second,” Klaus said, reaching out and grabbing one of the zippers on Five’s backpack to slow him down.

“What?” Five asked, whirling around with an irritated frown. 

“How did you know?” Klaus asked, tilting his head and taking Five in head to toe.

“You’ll have to be more specific, I know lots of things,” Five said with a smirk that Klaus kind of wanted to slap just for being a smartass.

“Luther said you knew that Diego and I would want to get married. What made you think that?”

“About seven reasons. You’re both young, dumb and impulsive,” Five said, holding up the fingers on his left hand with each thing he ticked off. “You’ve both been through a traumatic experience that nobody else will understand, neither of you have any family or friends to lean on so you feel like you only have each other, which leads you both to fear losing the other so strongly that you think a piece of paper is going to secure your future together, and you both have staggering self esteem and mental health issues, so you feel like nobody else will be able to handle you. That’s a formula for an impulsive marriage if I’ve ever heard one. Just be lucky you don’t have a uterus or an unplanned baby would be another reason.”

Klaus stood there silently staring at Five for several seconds, feeling absolutely shredded by the brutal honesty and bleak assessment of the relationship. He could feel his bottom lip start to quiver, but he refused to let himself cry in front of a teenager.

“Why are none of those reasons ‘love?’” Klaus asked quietly, folding his arms over his ribs defensively. Five’s face softened, but more in a pity way than a sentimental one, like Klaus was a toddler that asked why Santa didn’t bring the right present.

“Because love only exists in fairy tales. The bond you guys have is superficial at worst, circumstantial at best, and it will fade. I’m sorry if that hurts your feelings,” Five said, then checked his watch. “If you’re done, I have other things to be doing.”

“Like what, sitting home alone, slamming vodka from the bottle while you talk to your plastic girlfriend?” Klaus said before he even thought that through, but he owned it, hands planted on his hips now. “Yeah, you think you’re the only one good at reading people? I am too, just in a different way, and I think _you_ desperately need a mother.”

“You don’t know anything about me,” Five snapped, pointing his finger in Klaus’ chest.

“Oh yes I do! You’re 16 years old and I can smell the liquor on your breath from here, I know _all_ about that,” Klaus said, finding his attitude again. “You were abandoned, or orphaned by your parents when you were young, and instead of going into the foster care system you ran away. I know all about that, too. And you’ve been taking care of yourself so long you think you have the whole world figured out, but you _don’t._ Just because nobody loves _you_ doesn’t mean that love doesn’t exist.”

Whoops, that may have been too far. Klaus internally winced at himself, because even if he was right, he was still talking to a child. On the other hand, was it any worse than Five telling him that Diego didn’t really love him? But Five looked unbothered, at least on the surface.

“Will that be all, then?” he said crisply.

“I’m just saying, I understand a lot of what you’ve been through, even if we turned out differently,” Klaus said, feeling himself soften at the thought. He really could tell that Five was forced to grow up much too fast, and he could relate. “You seem to have your shit together a lot more than I did at your age, but being a 16 year old functioning alcoholic is still not an amazing way to live. If you want to talk to me abou-”

“I’m fine, thanks,” Five cut him off, seemingly having no time for advice from Klaus.

“Okay, well I assume you’ll have my number wherever I move if you’re keeping tabs on us,” Klaus said. “You’re too young to be this alone. Just call me if you need a friend.”

“What gave you the impression we were _friends?_ ”

“Damn, you’re just as closed off and mistrustful as Diego was when I first met him,” Klaus said, shaking his head. “Just let people be nice to you.”

“Maybe some other time,” Five said, making Klaus sigh heavily as he watched the kid turn around and walk down the hall. He continued speaking as he walked away, “Enjoy your new life, Klaus. Go to NA meetings, don’t break the law. And send Hazel out to the car if you see him.”

After Klaus collected Diego and all the junk Five gave them, they went to the living room to read over their new identity folders. Diego was taking it a lot more seriously than Klaus, but what Diego didn’t know was that being silly and flippant about this stuff would actually help Klaus remember it easier. If you expect him to remember boring facts on a paper, that wasn’t happening. But making jokes with Diego about those facts? Much easier to recall, and easier to make himself care, too.

Klaus was just lying on his back on the couch, long legs over Diego’s lap with papers strewn around. 

“All jokes aside,” he said, setting one of the papers over his chest so he could see Diego. “This Kade dude’s life sucked, I feel bad for him. And I almost feel like Five gave me this person on purpose.”

“And what purpose would that be,” Diego asked, looking up from his own folder of papers in his hands, all kept neatly in a stack.

“To remind me what happens to junkies… maybe to keep me from relapsing,” Klaus said, then he held up the paper again. “This guy went into rehab eight times between the ages of 20 to 29, but somehow escaped any official drug charges. One report said he’d started shooting up between his toes because the veins in his arms and thighs were all blown out. I could never stab a needle between my toes.”

“That is sad, although I’m not sure Five had any ulterior motives besides making sure the identity was air tight,” Diego said, shuddering slightly. “But yeah I didn’t even know you could shoot up that way.”

“You just need a vein. Hand, neck, thigh - even your dick veins can be used if you’re desperate enough,” Klaus said, managing to chuckle at Diego’s wide-eyed reaction despite the seriousness of the discussion.

“You never did that, did you?” 

“No way, I needed my dick for other things,” Klaus said, but then he stopped himself from thinking about that any harder. Dangerous road to think about, he could easily make himself spiral. “But hey, Kade also had a clover tattoo on his shoulder. Does that mean I have to get one?”

“I’m not sure, but I don’t think it would be a problem unless we’re being detained by the police for something, which we’re going to try like hell to avoid,” Diego said, then shuffled a few papers and nodded. “Yeah, see, like this guy has a Detroit Tigers tattoo on his chest, I’m sure as fuck not getting that.”

“Not a Tigers fan?” Klaus asked with a smirk. 

“Not a baseball fan.”

“Well apparently you are now.”

“The only sports worth watching are basketball and shit you only see in the Olympics, like javelin throwing and crazy gymnastics stunts,” Diego said, making Klaus laugh again.

“You like gymnastics?”

“Yeah, have you ever seen those people? The athleticism is impressive,” Diego said, resting his hand on Klaus’ leg and absent-mindedly rubbing along his shin. “Oh! And boxing is good, too. Except I prefer _doing_ that to just watching.”

“You can find a boxing gym when we get to Portland. I would love to watch you beat up some sweaty dudes in shorts,” Klaus said, gazing affectionately at the side of Diego’s face. It was much better than reading about who he was supposed to become.

“Maybe,” Diego said, his smile falling slightly. “Might not be throwing many right hooks for a long time.”

“You will, that’s what the therapy is for, right?” Klaus said, but he folded his legs off of Diego’s lap and sat up to look at him closer, the papers falling off his chest to the floor.

“I don’t know… maybe it’s better to not encourage that part of me anymore,” Diego said with a one-shoulder shrug. He looked over and his defeated expression broke Klaus’ heart. 

“Babe, there’s a big difference between having a healthy outlet in a controlled environment and just kicking the shit out of people when you’re mad,” he said, reaching out and holding Diego’s hand in his own lap. “Maybe it would be helpful to let off steam that way. It’s not good to bottle that shit up until you _do_ react with violence.”

“I’ve been punching people and things my whole life and it has yet to make me feel anything but _more_ angry, so I don’t think a break from that will be a bad thing,” Diego said, but he was staring off into the empty fire grate now, bummed and letting self-hatred take over. Klaus wasn’t having that.

“Hey, you’re not going to let this injury define you. If you still want to box, you will, even if it takes a couple years to fully heal and get back to it,” Klaus said. He lifted Diego’s hand in his lap up to his mouth to kiss Diego’s numb fingers even though Klaus knew he couldn’t feel it. “Plus, I don’t think you’ll be this angry forever, so maybe you can just start boxing for the sport of it rather than the catharsis. There’s going to be _so_ much more for you to be happy about going forward. I’ll make sure of it.”

Hearing that made Diego look back at him, a warm smile spreading over his face. “That’s a good point.”

“I’ve got a lot of them,” Klaus said, smiling back and then leaning forward when he saw Diego starting to slouch sideways on the couch toward him too. The second before their lips touched there was a knock on the door jamb behind Klaus, making Diego groan softly and squeeze his eyes shut. Klaus whipped around to see who it was, especially since it was weird to knock as if the wide open double doors were ever closed, anyway.

“Hi, sorry. I swear to God, I’m not interrupting you guys on purpose,” Luther said, walking halfway to the coffee table between the two couches.”I have that number for you.”

“Holy shit!” Klaus said, unfolding his legs and almost stumbling when he stood up from the couch. His legs were weak, his heart was beating out of his chest, but he managed to walk up to Luther anyway.

“You’re home early,” Diego said. Luther shook his head.

“I’m just here on my lunch break. I didn’t know what time I was going to get home tonight so I brought this now,” Luther said, holding a folded piece of paper out for Klaus. As soon as he grabbed it Luther pointed at him. “A few things to remember if you call him. One, you’re not allowed to tell him anything about the murders or the new identities. Two, do not give him any indication where you are, not even the state. I’ll have you call him from my office when you’re ready, that phone is untraceable. And three, do not let yourself get invested. You told Five this was a goodbye call, and it needs to remain as such. It’s the only reason I’m letting this happen. Clear?”

Klaus just nodded, but his emotions were all over the place. On one hand he was beyond overjoyed that he was going to speak to Ben after all this time, maybe even get to apologize for how things ended between them. But on the other hand… calling him just to say they could never talk again felt cruel, to both himself and Ben. Klaus could feel tears welling up in his eyes but he tried to blink them away. 

“And I have one more thing for you,” Luther said, holding up his other hand which was clutched around something. All Klaus saw was a tiny ball chain over Luther’s middle finger like a ring, but he had no idea what the fuck it could be. He held out his hand but Luther pulled his hand back. “I just want you to know this was extremely difficult to get ahold of, and I risked a lot for this, but Diego seemed to think it was important that you have it.”

Klaus had never made this intense of eye contact with Luther, all he could do was nod and swallow hard. He couldn’t get any sort of reading from the guy, other than an overwhelming, contagious level of stress that Klaus wasn’t sure was even about either him or Diego. He was just about to let himself dig deeper into the energy, but then Luther opened his palm. A set of dog tags with an added locket fell and dangled in front of Klaus’ face. It took his brain a few seconds to process and accept that he was really seeing what he was seeing, not even breathing as the chain swung back and forth, seemingly in slow motion as the shock kicked in.

“ _What?_ ” was the only word Klaus could form as his soul exploded into a hundred different emotions. He reached out his shaking hand, palm up so Luther could drop the chain into his hand. The second it touched his skin, that familiar weight resting on his palm, he couldn’t stop the tears anymore. He saw _‘Katz, David’_ on one of the tags and clutched it tightly, bringing his fist over his heart and taking in a ragged breath. “How is this _real?_ ”

“Anything is possible with the right connections,” Luther said, snapping Klaus back to reality. He looked up at Luther with more respect and gratitude than he’d ever felt for someone that was still practically a stranger to him, and he didn’t care if they weren’t close. This deserved a hug. He reached his arms out and hugged Luther around the ribs, smooshing his teary face against his broad chest and holding him tightly. “ _Oh-_ uh-”

“Thank you,” Klaus whispered, refusing to let go because this hug was the only thing grounding him. If he let go he might explode into an entire galaxy.

“Uh, sure. You’re welcome,” Luther said with a confused smile, awkwardly patting Klaus on the shoulder. He clearly wasn’t expecting that reaction, but he didn’t shove Klaus away either. “But you should thank Diego, I wouldn’t have known about it if he didn’t tell me.”

Klaus finally let go and wiped his eyes on the back of his hand that was still clutching Ben’s number. He gave Luther another little appreciative nod and then turned around and sprinted back to the couch to tackle-hug Diego instead. He couldn’t stop the tears, but seeing Diego smiling at him made him laugh as he jumped on the couch with both knees straddling Diego’s thighs, immediately kissing his face all over at least a dozen times. 

“Oh my god. I take it you’re happy, then?” Diego said, chuckling and reaching up to hold Klaus’ face to stop the shower of kisses. He wiped Klaus’ tears with his thumbs and leaned forward to give him a real kiss, current company be damned, and it made Klaus’ heart want to explode even more.

“I love you so much,” Klaus whispered when he finally broke the kiss so he could hug Diego around the neck. Saying that and feeling Diego wrap his arms around his waist made him start crying harder, and he really hoped Luther would just take that as his cue to leave. Not that Klaus didn’t appreciate the hell out of him, but right now he needed to let himself really _feel_ the flood of emotions he was experiencing all at once.

“I’m gonna…” Luther said, and Klaus felt Diego gesture something behind his back. Maybe a thumbs up? A wave? Either way, it made Luther turn and leave and that’s exactly what Klaus wanted.

“Oh hey, want to see Ben?” Klaus asked with a thick voice, sitting back up and fiddling with the locket on the chain. Diego just nodded, waiting patiently for Klaus to open it. “We were such babies.”

He turned the locket around after gazing at the picture for a few seconds. It was taken about three months before Klaus was kicked out; he still had longer, fluffy, half washed-out green hair. It was a little greasy looking too, but he was a kid, who cares? The picture cut most of their bodies off, but you could still see Klaus’ arm and hand around Ben’s shoulder, the other one making the rock n’ roll devil horns with fingerless gloves and black nails, nose crinkled and tongue stuck out obnoxiously because he was 16. Meanwhile Ben looked smart and polite, little sweater vest and pleasant face any mother would love, head tilted against Klaus’. His smile reached his eyes, and he looked thrilled to be with Klaus regardless of them seeming like an odd pair.

“Of course you had green hair in high school,” Diego said smirking at the picture fondly.

“I dyed it with Kool-Aid,” Klaus said with a chuckle, then snapped the locket shut and moved off Diego’s lap, sitting next to him instead. Diego snorted.

“That also doesn’t surprise me,” Diego said, shifting on the couch to face him once Klaus moved. “So are you going to call Ben?”

Klaus shrugged and frowned.

“I’m not sure, honestly…” Klaus said, looking at Ben’s name written in Luther’s sharp, neat handwriting. “It seems so shitty to contact him just to tell him we can’t talk anymore after that, you know?”

Diego nodded. “Yeah, but I think he would still rather know you’re alive and okay.”

“Maybe, or maybe he’ll still be angry at me for what I did to his family,” Klaus said, the emotional confetti bomb from a few minutes ago finally settling into a dull heartache. Or maybe he just burned up too much happiness chemical in his brain all at once and now all he could feel was empty and afraid.

“I don’t know this guy, but if he came looking for you years later, I doubt it was just to give you a piece of his mind. People can forgive, or who knows, maybe he was never upset with you in the first place if he’s as smart as you say,” Diego said. He was searching the side of Klaus’ face, but Klaus couldn’t look up from the paper, suddenly afraid to even look away from it as if it would dematerialize if he did.

“What if he wants to see me? How do I say no?”

“You just say you can’t. Tell him you’re going into witness protection or something, but that you’re alive and fine, and think of him often,” Diego said with a little shrug. “There’s not much else you can say, but it would at least be some closure for you guys, since you were separated abruptly.”

“Would you be disappointed in me if I can’t do it?” 

“No, of course not,” Diego said, shaking his head. “Plus, it wouldn’t matter if I was. This is your life and your history, what I think isn’t relevant.”

“I always care what you think,” Klaus said, then finally folded the paper in half again and stuck it in his pants pocket. “I think I need to think about it, though. I miss him so much, but I’m afraid of making things worse. I always make things worse.”

“That’s not true at all, you make everything better. For me, anyway,” Diego said, bumping Klaus’ shoulder with his. “But I understand why you’re conflicted about Ben. If you care what I think, then I think you should call him. Then you can be mad at me if it doesn’t end well instead of yourself.”

Klaus gave him a bittersweet smile and a headshake. “No, I don’t want to be mad at you, that wouldn't make me feel better.”

“Well you don’t feel good right now, either, right? I don’t think calling him is going to make it worse. Maybe it will hurt right after you say goodbye, but in the long run I think you’ll feel better knowing what happened to Ben and how he’s doing,” Diego said. Klaus shrugged and sighed.

“I’ve wanted a new life for so long, you know? To just go anywhere that nobody knew me, so I could shake off the stigma of all my life choices and just try to be normal,” Klaus said, taking another deep sigh and letting his head fall on the back of the couch. “But now that I have this opportunity to talk to Ben it just… it makes me wish this wasn’t happening, just a little, because now I have a link to my past I actually _want_ to still be part of.”

“I’m sorry I dragged you into all this.”

“What? _No,_ ” Klaus said, sitting back up to reach out and wrap his hand around the back of Diego’s neck to bring his face closer. “I wouldn’t change any of this, okay? Not if I didn’t have you. Besides, I never would have been able to get a hold of Ben without meeting you and your brother, anyway. It just sucks that it’s just a one time deal.”

“It really does. But if it makes your choice any easier, consider this. I _wish_ I had the opportunity to call my mom one last time, to say goodbye and tell her I love her, even if it hurt me to know it was the last time,” Diego said, and it hit Klaus like a gut punch. He hadn’t even thought about how he could be taking this for granted. At least he had _one_ call with Ben, better than zero calls because he was fucking dead. “If this is important to you, don’t let this chance pass you by, babe.”

“Okay… but not right now,” Klaus said with a sad little nod. 

“Sure, you have time. I don’t think Luther is kicking us out until the end of the month when our apartment is ready, anyway,” Diego said, then Klaus leaned over and kissed him instead of answering. Just because. When Klaus pulled back Diego smiled but looked confused about why that statement earned him a kiss. 

“Thank you for everything,” was all Klaus could say as the bittersweetness of having Ben’s number took a back seat and a new rush of appreciation for Diego being in his life swelled in his chest. What would he do without this man?

“All I did was tell Luther about the locket, he did all the heavy lifting,” Diego said, making Klaus roll his eyes affectionately at him being modest. Klaus obviously meant thank you for _everything_ , but he knew Diego couldn’t see himself as a hero in their story, even if Klaus did.

“You thought about me and my happiness when you didn’t have to, though. That’s more than enough, and more than anyone else has ever done for me,” Klaus said. “Plus, you’ve been doing it from the beginning, before you loved me, before you even _knew_ me. You’re always thinking about me - watching over me before I even knew your name, bringing me tea instead of coffee because you remembered me telling you my preference, holding me when I feel terrible, taking care of me. Plus swallowing your pride to make sure we’re safe? It all matters to me, Diego.”

Diego nodded. “I just care about you. That’s what you’re supposed to do when you care about someone, right?”

“I think so, yeah. It’s not like I’m an expert on the subject, but I think you’re pretty fucking great at this relationship stuff,” Klaus said with a wink. Diego blushed and shook his head, then cleared his throat. 

“Hey, you wanna go find that indoor pool and take our minds off everything for a while?” Diego asked, surprising Klaus enough to do a double take. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. My next laser treatment is in a few days, so we should do it now before I can’t get in the water for a while,” Diego said. Klaus glanced up at his tattoo, already much more faded than it was before after just one treatment. It should only need one or two more times before it’s gone completely, just like the rest of their past.

“Alright, that sounds like fun,” Klaus said. “Don’t think I forgot about the skinny dipping deal.”

“We’ll see,” Diego said, leaning forward and kissing Klaus’ forehead. “Let’s go.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- ONE CHAPTER LEFT, HOW WE FEELING? Now is a good time to tell you that next chapter will not technically be the end. There will be a little epilogue, too ;)
> 
> \- Omg guys. I have been shown the rough draft of The Fool book art by c0ffeebee and it's -so- cute!! I hope it's done by the time I post the epilogue so y'all know where to look. As mentioned, if the story is over before the art is done you can check her blog (c0ffeebee.tumblr.com) or mine (cultleaderklaus.tumblr.com) and it will definitely be on those blogs when it's done!
> 
> \- And now time for the rough news: I'm gonna make you wait an extra week for the last chapter. I'm so sorry!! If all goes well, I will post the last chapter and the epilogue at the same time, so you don't have to wait for that too. I just want to make sure I give you a really well written ending to such a long, complex story. Y'all have stuck with me this long and I appreciate it so much!! So please give me an extra week and I'll hopefully be able to wrap up this monster of a fic with a nice little bow, and hopefully leave you feeling fulfilled and satisfied even though it's over ♥♥♥


	29. The Fool: Twenty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** THIS IS IT GUYS. THE END!! You made it!!  
> ** It's short and sweet, but there's an epilogue I'll be posting in a few minutes, too ;)

_** October 16th, 2015, 11:38am ** _

The first time Diego woke up it was 6am and not even light out yet. He realized he had nowhere to be, no appointments or therapy or planned household breakfasts. All he had to do was snuggle up against Klaus’ warm back and hold him, so he did, daring to let himself dream of a future where every morning could be like this.

The next time Diego woke up it was because he felt something damp on his forehead. A few seconds later his brain caught up and he realized Klaus was hovering over him and leaving kisses there, carefully avoiding the raw patch over his eyebrow from the 2nd removal session. Diego smiled and looked up, marveling at how the bright sun in Klaus’ curls behind him made it look like they were glowing golden with the light.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Klaus said, making Diego immediately blush and roll his eyes. 

“What time is it?” he asked, reaching up to rub the sleep out of his eyes.

“Almost noon. We haven’t slept this long in forever,” Klaus said with a yawn. 

He was so cute. Diego wrapped his arm around Klaus’ shoulder and pulled him down into his arms. Klaus chuckled and pressed his face into Diego’s bare chest, hugging his arm around Diego’s waist. A few seconds later Diego felt something peel off the small of his back, making him jump. Klaus brought his hand back and held up the bandage that Diego forgot he’d been wearing over his eyebrow from the day before. He must have rubbed it off somehow in his sleep.

“I guess I should probably put another one on, but they only stick like two hours at best,” Diego said, taking the bandage and crumpling it up before throwing it vaguely toward Klaus’ side table.

“That’s okay, I don’t mind putting it on for you,” Klaus said. “Much faster than the makeup, too.”

“Oof, thank god for never having to use that again,” Diego said as sincerely as possible. He was glad Klaus liked wearing makeup, but Diego hated it on his own face so much.

“Thank god for not having to do a lot of shit we used to have to do,” Klaus said, nuzzling his face back up to Diego’s chest and talking against it. “I can’t wait to go to a fucking restaruant again. Or a thrift store, or a park, or literally anywhere that’s not an empty building.”

“Me too. And we will be in our own place so I can stop feeling like an awkward burden everywhere we’re forced to stay,” Diego said, resting his chin on Klaus’ head. He could feel Klaus smile against his chest.

“I really can’t wait to find out what you’re like when you’re not anxious about where we are every second of the day,” Klaus said. “When you really let your hair down.”

“What if I’m boring?”

“Then I’ll be boring with you. We can watch M*A*S*H reruns and eat dinner on trays in front of the TV every night. Our big outing for the week will be to the local diner on Sunday mornings and then to the grocery store. I’ll buy too many things at the store and you’ll grumble at me, but then I’ll find you using them when you think I’m not looking,” Klaus rattled off.

“And I’ll tell you dull things I’m reading in my history books and you’ll pretend to be interested just because you still like to hear me talk,” Diego said, making Klaus let out a puff of laughter against his chest. 

“Exactly, I can’t wait,” Klaus said, giving Diego’s chest a kiss and then lifting his head. “But before any of that, we need to go find lunch. I am famished.”

“Agreed, except I need to shower before I leave this room. Give me like 15 minutes,” Diego said. He pet the side of Klaus’ face once more, then wiggled out from under him to go do exactly that.

Diego was shaved and out of the shower in just under 15 minutes like he said he would be. When he stepped back out into the room Klaus was sitting on the bed, staring at about 10 cards from his tarot deck. Except when he moved closer it appeared that they were all face down, which seemed weird. 

“Pick one,” Klaus said as soon as he noticed Diego standing at the end of the bed.

“Why?” Diego asked, still clutching his towel around his waist.

“Because this concerns you too,” Klaus said, waving his hand impatiently for Diego to come around to his side and pick. Diego sighed and did what he was told and moved around to stand at Klaus’ side.

“But why out of only 10?” Diego asked, hovering his hand over the two rows of cards with five in each.

“Because I already know what they all are. I’m just curious which one you’ll pick. It’s not a test or anything, don’t worry. Just pick the one that feels best.”

“They all feel the same,” Diego said, but he couldn’t deny that he had already picked a card mentally before he even asked why he was doing this. He grabbed the middle card on the bottom row and turned it in his hand to look, then rolled his eyes and flipped it back down on the bed. _The Fool._ “Wow, your deck is an asshole.”

Klaus picked the card up and laughed, his eyes crinkling as he stared at it.

“It’s not an insult, honey,” he said, still snickering.

“I’ve never been called a fool in a good natured way,” Diego said, walking back to the dresser to dig out some clothes. He was not going to be offended that a card called him names, he was _not._

“It’s actually perfect and sweet. The Fool is the first card in the deck, it’s the start of a new journey, or a new perspective or opportunity. Kinda like we’re about to do when we leave here,” Klaus said, rubbing his thumb along the edge of the card while he talked. Diego did let the corners of his mouth perk up then, because that was pretty cute.

“But why is that foolish?” he asked curiously as he stepped into his underwear.

“Well, as I’ve explained, the cards can have a few different interpretations. This one can also mean immaturity or literally foolishness. Notice how the picture is this carefree guy about to walk off the edge of a cliff while he stares up at the sky instead of his feet. He still has lessons to learn, and he’s about to learn them the hard way. So it can be cautionary, or hopefully in our case, inspiring and exciting,” Klaus said with a little shrug. “The way I see it, we’ve been torn down to nothing, in every way. And now we’re rebuilding our identity and our world from scratch, but we’re going to do it _our_ way this time. Even if there’s a few cliffs and hard lessons along the way.”

Diego paused with his arms in the sleeves of his t-shirt, staring at Klaus in wonder for a few moments before finally tucking his head in the shirt too and pulling it down his chest. Hearing Klaus talk that way always filled Diego with a few bubbles of unfamiliar warmth and optimism that he didn’t usually have otherwise. How could someone lead the kind of life Klaus has led and still remain hopeful that things would turn out alright? _When have things ever turned out alright?_ Diego asked himself, but then shook his head at himself. The answer was _right now._ Things were turning out pretty fucking good right now, for both of them, and Diego wasn’t about to shit on Klaus’ positive outlook for their future.

“I love you,” Diego said with all the warmth that had bubbled up in his heart. Klaus looked up from his cards and seemed surprised to hear that. 

“Oh, I love you too, but where did that come from?” he asked, probably because Diego’s response to his explanation was the last thing he expected to hear. Diego thought about it for a few seconds and answered sincerely. 

“Because... you have every reason to be a bitter cynic but you’re not, and it makes me more aware and grateful for things I may have taken for granted before,” Diego said, still surprised how easy it was to just _say_ things like that out loud with Klaus.

“Oh, I’m definitely cynical,” Klaus said with an affectionate snort of laughter. “Just more on a bigger picture scale, I guess. But us individually? I can’t help but feel like we’re going to be alright.”

“I trust your intuition,” Diego said, then bent to grab his shoes near the dresser so he could sit on the trunk at the foot of the bed and put them on.

“My intuition says you’re going to grill us burgers for lunch,” Klaus said, crawling forward on the bed so he could lean over the edge and wrap his arms around Diego’s shoulders. 

“I can do that,” Diego said, smiling and holding his hand over Klaus’ arm across his chest.

“Do you think you could carry me like this?”

“What, like piggy back? Yeah, but maybe wait until my arm is healed a little better,” Diego said with a note of regret. Any other time he would be more than happy to horse around with Klaus like that.

“Oh, good point, sorry,” Klaus said, releasing Diego from his arms and sitting back on his heels. “We should get going, anyway. Just let me pee real quick and I’ll be ready.”

“Okay, we’re not in any rush,” Diego said, but he was glad Klaus was stepping out for a minute.

As soon as he heard the bathroom door close, Diego stood up and lifted the lid of the trunk he was sitting on. Tucked inside one of the smallest zipper pockets on his duffle bag was the same little plastic container with a blue cap that once held a condom from a quarter machine on the first night Diego and Klaus spent together. Now it held one of Grace’s rings wrapped in a small piece of purple tissue paper from Klaus’ birthday bag. Diego had picked the simplest one that he figured Klaus could wear with everything. It was a slim, shiny, twisted white gold band that had tiny crusted diamonds along one of the twist strips. He also picked that one because he remembered it fitting Klaus’ finger the day he’d been trying on the rings, so Diego didn’t have to worry about it being too small. All he had to worry about now was timing. When was the right moment to give a ring to your husband you were illegally marrying? He didn’t know if there was ever a correct time, but he still felt like he should bring it along today, anyway. Just as he stuffed it in his jeans pocket Klaus walked out of the bathroom, looking very soft and snuggly in his white hoodie he got from Allison. 

A couple hours later Diego and Klaus were standing in the kitchen, busy cleaning up the huge mess they made by dragging out everything they could think of that could go on hamburgers. Diego almost dropped the jars of mayonnaise and mustard that he was putting in the fridge as a loud, alarming beep echoed through the huge kitchen. That was certainly a sound neither of them had ever heard before, and Diego closed the fridge to see Klaus staring curiously over at the wall by the entrance to the kitchen. 

“What the fuck was that?” Diego asked, but as soon as the question left his mouth there was a crackly voice filling the kitchen too.

“Hey, it’s Hazel, buzz me in,” the voice said, and Diego let out a puff of air as his anxiety subsided. It was just the intercom at the front gate, not like, a security alarm like Diego’s experience in prison had led him to believe it could be. As soon as the voice identified himself, Klaus smirked and jogged over to the intercom. He only stared at it for a few seconds before pushing a button and talking into the little speaker. 

“Hi dad, what brings you here?” Klaus said cheerfully, then chuckled when they both heard Hazel’s sigh even over the crackly intercom.

“Let me in, you little shit.”

“What’s the password,” Klaus said, flashing a cheeky grin at Diego over his shoulder. 

“I’m going to run you over with this car when I get up there, felon,” Hazel threatened, making Klaus laugh even harder. “Open the gate, unless you don’t want your mail from Five. And meet me out at the driveway, I’m not walking all the way up to the door like your personal postman.”

“Oh shit, that must be the certificate. Buzz him in, babe,” Diego said, suddenly much less amused by Klaus irritating Hazel now. Normally he got a kick out of giving Hazel a hard time, but today the man was carrying something much too important to fuck around with.

“Nobody lets me have any fun,” Klaus said with a small eyeroll before pushing the button to open the front gates.

Hazel was already parked at the top of the circle drive when they finally made it outside, tinted windows rolled down and sunglasses on his face despite it being a pretty overcast day. Diego was once again getting anxious, but only because he knew holding the official certificate in his hands was going to make all of this feel more real than ever. His feet felt heavy, and as he watched Klaus practically skip up to the car, Diego tried to analyze why he was feeling this way as he trailed a few paces behind. 

He wanted this, without question, so he tried to remind himself that it was probably normal to have a little heightened nervousness about something that was going to drastically impact the rest of his life. It wasn’t out of fear, more out of just the gravity of what this meant for them. It was really happening, they were really married, they were really about to start a _whole life_ together. Holy shit, maybe the nerves were actually a little bit of _excitement,_ too? It wasn’t an emotion Diego was used to having, so it made sense to him that he could get it confused with anxiety, the same way he did when things got a little too intimately heated with Klaus.

“Give Agnes a hug for me,” Klaus said, slapping the roof of the car and then waving at Hazel. Diego had apparently tuned out the whole conversation while he was having his mini internal therapy session, but Klaus was holding a big yellow envelope and a smile, and that’s all that mattered. As Hazel drove off Klaus turned around and waved the envelope. “No getting cold feet now, we’re officially hitched, baby!”

“I regret nothing,” Diego said with a smile. Klaus’ excitement made some of the tension in his shoulders release and he took a deep breath. He meant what he said.

Since they were already outside, Klaus decided he wanted to walk in the garden and Diego easily agreed. With the weather getting colder and the day they would leave this place getting closer, who knew how many more times they would get to do this. Sure, there were probably parks and stuff in Portland they could walk in, but the garden here was blissfully empty of other people. Just the way Diego preferred. Thankfully he had worn Luther’s jean jacket out of the room so he could stand outside and grill food earlier, or this would be a pretty chilly adventure. 

“I can’t believe we’re going to be leaving soon,” Klaus said, staring down at their feet while he walked. “I feel like we live here now.”

“I can’t say the same,” Diego said. “But I’m not surprised you do. You acclimate to your surroundings pretty fast no matter where we are.”

Klaus looked over at him and then quickly looked away with a smirk.

“What?” Diego asked, already smiling before he heard what it was just because Klaus was first. 

“Nothing, just thinking something lame,” Klaus said. Diego just looked at him expectantly until he spilled it anyway. “God, okay, I was just thinking I’m home wherever you are.” 

Klaus rolled his eyes at himself and shook his head, but Diego just nodded. “I think that’s normal when you love someone, isn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Klaus said with a shrug. “Or maybe it’s a coping mechanism.” 

Diego frowned and hooked his hand over Klaus’ elbow to stop him. “What do you mean by that?”

“I mean like attaching myself to someone so hard is a coping mechanism, like a trauma response to losing everyone meaningful in my life all the time,” Klaus said, all of his excitement from earlier seeming to have been clouded by whatever this was.

Diego’s knee jerk reaction was to be offended by Klaus suggesting that, because how could he boil down their connection so cynically? He resisted the initial spike of indignance, letting himself simmer for a few seconds before he realized this didn’t sound like Klaus. Definitely not his lover who lived by the power of intuition and insisted their match was designed by fate itself. This was someone else talking.

“Where is this coming from, Klaus?” Diego asked gently, trying to remain patient and calm so he didn’t make Klaus feel bad for having these concerns. He thought they’d worked out all the insecurities the other night when they’d discussed all their hangups to marriage, but they must have missed one.

“Nothing. Nowhere, I just-” Klaus started, then rolled his eyes at himself again and hugged his arms over his chest, and also over the yellow envelope. When Diego kept staring at him he kicked some pebbles on the stone garden path and took a deep breath. “It’s really nothing. Five just got in my head, everything is fine. Forget I said anything.”

“No offense, but I wouldn’t take Five’s opinion to heart about anything but counterfeiting. He may have a whole folder of information about us that makes us sound like irredeemable basketcases on paper, but he doesn’t know _us_ , babe,” Diego said, reaching out to rub the back of Klaus’ folded arm. It drew his gaze up from the ground to look in Diego’s eyes instead while he continued talking. “That dossier says nothing of all the reasons you deserve to be loved, but I know what they are. He doesn’t know how resilient and thoughtful and funny and clever you are, he doesn’t see the way you brighten my day even when I don’t think I can smile, how you make me believe in love when I never really did before. If he told you that you only want to be with me as a trauma response, well - he’s lucky he said it to you and not me. I’m not afraid to punch that kid in the nose.”

“You would not punch a kid,” Klaus said with a snort, and Diego was so relieved to see him smile again, even with his eyes a little misty from hearing Diego reaffirm that what they had was real. 

“I might!” Diego said, but if he were honest with himself, he would realize he had the same skepticism only a few weeks ago. Five was definitely out of line to make that judgement call to Klaus’ face, but Diego had also once worried that their bond may have more to do with the trauma they went through together rather than their compatibility. 

Not anymore, though. Those feelings of doubt had dissipated almost as fast as they sprung up in his mind. Now that they’d officially tied the knot, he wasn’t sure why he’d ever doubted this in the first place. It made him reach his other hand in his jeans pocket to feel the little plastic container holding the ring. He wasn’t sure when was the right time to do something like this, but maybe right now would be good, while Klaus was feeling insecure about the validity of their love. Maybe he would see it as confirmation that this was a commitment that Diego wasn’t taking lightly. Before he could second guess himself any further he pulled out the container and held it out on his palm between them.

“I didn’t have a nice box, and I’m really sorry it’s not possible to get you something new and unique right now, but-” Diego said, waiting for Klaus to tuck the envelope under his arm and take the container.

“Aww baby, where did you even find a gumball machine ring?” he said, then cracked open the lid and started rifling through the crumpled purple tissue paper. When the sparkly, white gold ring was revealed Diego watched Klaus’ face travel from confused to surprised to stunned in a matter of seconds. “Oh my god, Diego, is this your mom’s?”

“Yeah, is that okay?”

“Of course, honey, that makes it even sweeter that you’d want me to have it,” Klaus said, sliding the ring on his left ring finger as a tear streaked down his cheek. “But I don’t have one for you.”

“That’s okay, we can worry about that later. I just wanted you to have a physical reminder that I love you, so anytime your anxious mind tries to tell you otherwise, you can just look down and remember I’m in this for real, and you mean the world to me,” Diego said, barely even finishing his sentence before Klaus threw his arms around Diego’s neck and hugged him tight. The envelope fell from under Klaus’ arm but Diego managed to catch it and then wrap his arms around the small of Klaus’ back to enjoy the hug.

“I fucking love you so much,” Klaus whispered against his neck.

“I love _you,_ ” Diego said, but he was immediately distracted by the feeling of something thick and cylindrical in the envelope in his hand. He crinkled it a little to figure out what it could be, and then he felt the pocket hook. “I think there’s a pen in here.”

“What?” Klaus asked, letting go of Diego’s neck so he could bring the envelope back up in front of them.

“Do you mind if I open it?” he asked.

“No, go for it,” Klaus said, sniffing and wiping his eyes now that he had something else to focus on. He watched Diego open the flap and pull out the wedding certificate and a note from Five. He looked in the envelope and there was indeed a nice black fountain pen at the bottom with a metallic gold roman numeral five on it, and Klaus’ re-printed new ID. He handed the envelope to Klaus so he could read the note out loud. 

“ _Sign the certificate with your new names, and don’t fuck it up. If you need me, Luther knows how to find me. Destroy this note, don’t break the law and good luck - Five._ ” 

“Just as curt and to the point as expected,” Klaus said with a little nod as he tipped his new ID and the pen out into his hand. “Aww, Kade Romero, just like I said, and he listed my gender as ‘X?’ I didn’t even tell him about-”

“Is that even legal?”

“I think so. Some states have gender neutral licenses, and I guess Washington is one of them.”

“Still, kind of rude of him to assume, though,” Diego said, but he wasn’t really sure how those things worked just yet. 

“Would it be more rude to assume I’m a man?” Klaus asked with a shrug. “I guess you can just tell based on the _everything_ about me?”

“I guess, but are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I just never thought I would actually be able to do that because it costs money,” Klaus said, staring at the ID with awe. “The picture still sucks, but I’ll live.”

“Well, that was really nice of him, then. Still weird that he didn’t ask, though,” Diego said, but if Klaus was happy, he was happy.

“He’s a smart kid, and apparently more socially conscious than I gave him credit for. Plus, one of the times I was in a more progressive rehab clinic I made them check me in as a girl because I was going through a point where I was questioning my relationship to masculinity pretty hard, so maybe he saw that, too,” Klaus said, then tucked the license in his back pocket and shook his head. “I’m not going to question his motives, I’m just glad he did it. Let’s sign that document.”

“Okay. Come over here,” Diego said after a few seconds, spotting the short stone garden wall between the shrubs. Klaus followed him over and they both hopped up to sit on the top edge of the wall, facing each other, with enough space between them to set the certificate on the smooth stone. “It’s uh- it looks like it’s a little dated.”

Klaus turned the certificate to read the words under the blank lines. One for _bride_ and one for _groom_. Klaus just rolled his eyes and yanked the cap off the pen with his teeth, then signed Kade Duvall on the bride’s line. He turned the document to face Diego.

“Your turn,” Klaus said. He held out the pen, but when Diego tried to grab it Klaus pulled it back. 

Diego smiled and leaned in for the kiss he knew Klaus wanted, still smirking against his lips when Klaus closed the distance. This kiss wasn’t any different than many others, but it gave Diego the butterflies in his stomach more than ever. He couldn’t believe he got to spend the rest of his life with this incredible person that chased the darkness out of his heart and made him excited about the future in a way that he never had been before. Maybe Diego didn’t deserve this, but he was taking it anyway. 

As soon as he pulled back from the kiss Klaus handed him the pen for real and Diego couldn’t wait to sign the certificate. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t signing his real name, he could sign it ‘Mickey Mouse’ for all he cared. What mattered was that they were together, and that they were safe and free to start their lives over, hand in hand. He never saw himself as the marrying type, but… fate had other plans. He hovered the pen over the line, let out a small exhale and wrote his new name, and started his new life all at the same time.

_**This certifies that** Kade Duvall **and** Dominic Romero **were united in marriage according to the ordinance of God and the laws of the state of Washington on** October 16th, 2015._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- The new art is posted on the "Book Three" chapter if you haven't seen it on tumblr yet!!


	30. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ** You don't think I forgot about Ben, did you?

_** October 28th, 2015, 7:25pm ** _

This was probably a terrible idea, but Klaus was committing to it. He did his best to dismiss all his doubts about making the call, but he couldn’t shake the deep anxiety he was feeling no matter what he told himself. Nevertheless, he picked up Luther’s desk phone and cradled it between his shoulder and ear, then started dialing the number on the old rotary phone. With each number he entered, the sound of the wheel spinning back to the top was unsettlingly loud in the silent office. On the last digit Klaus held his breath, listening to the line ring and almost hoping nobody answered. He was just about to hang up, moving the phone a few inches from his head, and then he heard a voice. 

“Hello?”

Klaus froze for way too long. That was Ben, Klaus had no doubt about it. His voice was different, matured over time, but he could still hear his sweet little brother in the tone. Klaus let out a shaky breath and plucked up every drop of courage he had left.

“Hellooo?” the voice said again, tinged with impatience.

“Hey, Benny,” Klaus said, closing his eyes because he already felt tears trying to surface even though he was smiling. The line was silent for a few seconds, and Klaus wondered if Ben was going to hang up. 

“... Klaus?” Ben asked skeptically, but Klaus thought he heard a flash of hope, too. 

“Y-yeah, it’s me,” but the last bit was drowned out by Ben’s gasp.

“Klaus, oh my god! Are you okay? I never thought I would hear your voice again,” Ben said in a rush, and the genuine concern in his tone made the tears start. Klaus couldn’t believe Ben still cared about him that much.

“I’m okay. Actually, I’m really good, all things considered. How are you?”

“Um, I’m fine. I saw you on the news a few weeks ago and I couldn’t believe you were still alive. Klaus, what happened?”

“Y-you saw me on the news?”

“Yeah, did you not know? They said you and a convict murdered two people in two different states, but you didn’t do that, did you?”

“Ben, I-... it’s complicated-” Klaus said, but his voice caught in his throat. This is not how he saw this conversation going at all. How could he possibly explain? Especially when Luther specifically told him not to.

“Were you kidnapped? Are you in trouble, is that why you’re calling?”

“No! No, I’m not calling you for help. I just wanted to… I wanted to tell you I’m sorry, Ben. I’m so fucking sorry for how things ended with us,” Klaus said, his voice trembling. Ben didn’t say anything for a second. “I miss you.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because… because of what you had to see, I know that was fucking horrible and you shouldn’t have had to-”

“Klaus, stop. You were only a teenager and you were hurting and afraid, and being threatened with your worst fear. I’ve never blamed you or been angry with you for what happened. I blamed my parents completely, because they didn’t want to help you or deal with the situation they created. When they sent you away I begged them for _years_ to find you, to bring you home,” Ben explained, every word making more tears spill down Klaus’ cheeks. He looked at the scars on his wrists, thought of the day Ben kneeled in streams of blood on the floor, took the razor from Klaus’ hand and tried to hold towels over Klaus’ wrists while he screamed for his mom. “And besides, if I hadn’t seen what I did, if I hadn’t been there, you wouldn’t have made it to the hospital in time. I’m not sorry I was there.”

“How is that true,” Klaus whined pitifully. He wanted to crumple up on the floor and sob, but not yet. Instead he slid off Luther’s chair to his knees and then crawled under the small, enclosed square under the desk, dragging the phone by the cord to the edge of the desk so it would still reach. He held the phone with his shoulder and hugged his knees as Ben spoke again.

“Because I cared about you. You were my brother, _and_ my best friend, honestly,” Ben said, and Klaus could hear his throat was getting thick with emotion, too. “I looked for you the whole summer before I left for college. I checked hospitals and rehabs and shelters and- and I just... never found you. I thought you were dead until I saw you on the news. I couldn’t believe it.”

“Where did you go to college?” Klaus asked, because it was the only part of that he could emotionally handle talking about at the moment.

“Uh, Duke in North Carolina,” Ben said, but Klaus could tell that’s not what he wanted to talk about. 

“I’m so proud of you. I always knew you would do awesome things, you’re so smart-”

“Dude, tell me what happened with the murders.”

“I can’t,” Klaus whined again. “I’m sorry. I’m kind of um- I’m forbidden from talking about it, but just know that both cases were self defense. The circumstances just made us look shitty and there was no way to prove that we-”

“ _Us?_ You’re still with that Diego guy?” Ben asked cautiously. “Are you sure you’re not in trouble? They said you may be kidnap-”

“ _No_ , it’s not like that! I left with him on purpo- _wait!_ I’m not supposed to be telling you anything about it, ugh,” Klaus said, rubbing his eyes with his thumb and middle finger. “Just- all I can tell you is I’m fine, I love him, and we were _attacked_ by the people that we… that died.”

“You _love_ him? What’s going on for real, Klaus? Where are you?”

“I can’t tell you!”

“Please, Klaus, you can’t drop in my life out of nowhere and then give me these cryptic, short responses about something so important and expect me not to worry,” Ben said, and Klaus could tell he was getting frustrated.

“Obviously I can’t tell you for a reason. I’m not being vague because I don’t want you to know, I just… I’m wanted, you apparently know that. I can’t just tell you where I am and what I’m doing, I have no idea if you’re just bullshitting me until I give you enough information to turn me in,” Klaus said, breaking his own heart in the process. He knew Ben would never turn him in, not for anything. But Luther said, and Five, and like every witness protection movie - if you’re trying to get off the grid you _don’t_ tell anyone where you’re going.

“I would never do that to you! Why would you even think that?”

“Because I _murdered_ someone, Ben! She broke in our motel in the middle of the night and shot Diego, and I couldn’t let her kill him, so I fucking shot that bitch _to death_ , okay?!” Klaus said with a raised voice, his whole body starting to tremble. “And now I’m doing everything I can to disappear from the world and not go to prison for a completely justifiable homicide. That’s more than I’m even supposed to tell you, so you can take it or leave it, but that’s what happened.”

The line was quiet for too long, Klaus started to panic. “Ben?”

“I’m here. I just don’t know what to do right now, Klaus,” Ben said quietly.

“Well that makes two of us,” Klaus said, wiping his tears on the sleeve of his sweater. “I was just calling because I finally found a way to find your number without asking your parents, and I missed you and I just wanted… I don’t know what I wanted. To say goodbye, I guess, and thank you, because you were the first person in my life that ever cared about me the right way. I’m sorry I can’t explain everything, but just know I still love you, and I still call you brother, and I still carry that locket with our picture in it.”

“Wait, you can’t just- I can’t lose you _again._ Please don’t hang up,” Ben pleaded, shattering what was left of Klaus’ heart. This was going to be even harder than he could have imagined, at least before he could have convinced himself Ben hated him and made it easier to disappear. Now he knew the truth, that Ben was never angry, that he missed Klaus, that he wanted Klaus in his life. How could he just walk away now?

“I’m not hanging up yet, but I can’t tell you anything about me other than I’m alright,” Klaus said with a heavy sigh. “Please tell me about you, instead.”

“Um- what do you want to know?” Ben asked, but Klaus could hear in his voice that he was not ready to jump topics.

“Did you graduate? What did you study? Are you married, single? Whatever you want to tell me.”

“Yeah, I graduated with English and journalism degrees, and I’m a book editor for a non-fiction publishing house in North Carolina. I just started there last year, and I haven’t been back to Philadelphia since I left for school,” Ben explained. Klaus listened carefully, like his life depended on it. He would hate to tune out and miss any part of this precious conversation. “Oh and um, I’m not married, but I have a long term girlfriend. I actually met her in college but she wasn’t a student, she was a guest speaker and I offered to look over her book and help her get published. That was three years ago, now.”

“Aww, that’s all so nerdy and perfect for you,” Klaus said with a warm smile, and for a moment his own heartache was eclipsed by how proud he was of his little brother. “What’s her name?”

“Vanya. She’s a therapist and a writer, and an amazing violinist,” Ben said, and then cleared his throat. “But I don’t think you called me to hear about my girlfriend.”

“No, this is perfect, please keep talking,” Klaus said softly, closing his eyes and imagining what Ben might look like now. “Do you guys live together?”

“No, I have my own house-”

“Holy shit, you’re like 23, how do you have your own house?”

“24 now, and I did it by working all through college, and having impeccable credit. Basically, the bank owns the house, I’m just allowed to live here with my name on the deed as long as I fork over a ridiculous amount of money for a house payment every month,” Ben said, but there was an impatient tone to his voice. He clearly didn’t want to talk about himself. Klaus knew it was only a matter of time before he had to hang up, because Ben wasn’t going to stop asking questions that Klaus literally could not answer.

“Still, it’s an amazing accomplishment for someone so young. I’m really happy for you, Ben.”

“I guess. I lead a pretty boring life, honestly, but I’m content.”

“There’s nothing wrong with boring. My life isn’t boring and I gotta tell you, it’s not as glamorous as people make it out to be,” Klaus said, spinning the ring on his finger absently. “God, I can’t believe I haven’t seen you in nine years. It feels both like yesterday, but also so long ago that I don’t even feel like the same person anymore.”

“Klaus… I know you can’t tell me what you’re doing now but-” Ben started, and Klaus could sense he was weighing his words carefully. “What happened after… after you went to the hospital for, you know.”

“Uh, they kept me there for three weeks, and then I was dropped off at another foster family’s house.”

“Were they good to you?” Ben interrupted.

“Sure, they were okay. They had a little ranch, and I was far enough away from the inner city that I didn’t get into as much trouble. I just followed the oldest son around like a puppy until he fell in love with me. But then he died, and everything after that is just… it’s a mess, but I’m better now.”

“He died? Jesus, I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, he was a soldier and duty called so… So I left. I stole his dog tags from his grieving family and I ran away like a coward, and I’ve been on my own since,” Klaus said, thunking his head back against the wooden wall of the desk footwell and squeezing his eyes shut. Ben was quiet for an unsettling amount of moments, and Klaus started to worry that he’d hung up.

“How do I convince you to come here instead of wherever you’re going?” Ben asked pointedly. Klaus snapped his eyes open and frowned. 

“You can’t, and even if you could, I could never leave Diego or betray what L-... what’s been done for me here. I have a chance to start my life over, and I don’t want the first choice I make to be breaking the rules. I’m so-”

“Bring Diego with you. Nobody knows that you and I know each other anymore, you guys would be safe here.”

“ _Ben._ I really _can’t,_ ” Klaus whined, pinching the bridge of his nose trying to prevent himself from crying again. “Even if I could, I would never drag you into my shit like that. Not again.”

“I don’t care! Klaus, I’m not hanging up this phone until you tell me you’re not disappearing forever. Do you need a plane ticket? I’ll buy you one, whatever you need. _Please._ ”

“I am not letting you harbor two fugitives wanted for murder in your house! I would never forgive myself if you went to prison because of me. Please just drop it,” Klaus begged. 

At this point he wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince. Ben’s words were infecting Klaus’ psyche. He was actually sitting there trying to figure out if it was possible for him to keep in contact with Ben against Luther’s orders. Maybe… maybe he and Diego could go see Ben without Luther finding out? Maybe Klaus could beg Luther to bring Ben into the loop, maybe Klaus could convince him how much he needed Ben in his life. Klaus shook his head at himself, trying to rattle the possibility out of his mind. This couldn’t happen.

“I don’t know what you’ve done or what you’re involved in now, but I will do anything. I have money, I have a place for you to stay, and my neighbors are far enough away that they would never see you unless you’re being crazy in the front yard when someone drives by,” Ben said, each thing hammering against Klaus’ willpower to walk away. “I will even come to you to visit, if that makes it easier.”

“Nothing makes it easier,” Klaus said with a heavy exhale. “Just… just imagine that the people helping me are the Mob. It’s not the Mob, but it kinda feels like they are, and they could definitely ruin my life if I deliberately do what they’ve asked me not to, do you understand?”

“Do you have my address?” Ben asked. What about this was not clicking for him, here? 

“I don’t.”

“Get a pen. If you can’t call me anymore, you can still write to me without a return address,” Ben said. “If you’re paranoid about it, you can send a letter to me with magazine clipping letters like a serial killer, I don’t care.”

“Ben, I-”

“Get a pen, Klaus,” Ben insisted. He wasn’t going to take no for an answer. Klaus let out an exaggerated sigh that fluttered his lips, but then crawled out from under the desk just far enough to reach his arm up and grab a fountain pen off the top of Luther’s desk.

“Just know if you get involved in this mess and you can’t handle it, it’s not my fault. I told you what deep shit I got myself in, and you’re _pressuring_ me to involve yo-”

“Do you have a pen?”

“Yes,” Klaus said, rolling his eyes and sliding up the sleeve of his sweater so he could jot the address down on his forearm. Luther had a notepad on his desk, but Klaus had seen too many movies. Who knows if Luther could see the imprints of what was written on the previous page of the notepad and get suspicious. He was probably overthinking it, but better safe than sorry.

“4258 Cherrylawn Bulevard, Knightdale, North Carolina, 27545,” Ben said quietly, Klaus listened carefully and wrote down what he said.

“Where the fuck do you live, Neverland? That sounds so fairytale.”

“I mean, I don’t want to brag but it’s pretty amazing here. I would love for you to see it,” Ben said, but Klaus ignored the last part. They both knew that could never happen.

“Oh please, by all means,” Klaus said, but his brain was still preoccupied with the concept of never seeing Ben again. He wasn’t thinking. It just slipped out - “I’m sitting in a billionaire mansion right now so you’re certainly not hurting my feelings, brag away.”

“So you guys _did_ go to Seattle!”

“ _Shit!_ Ben, please forget that immediately,” Klaus said, slapping his forehead so hard he knocked his head on the wall of the desk behind him.

“I’ve been following your story in the paper, and a reporter said the theories about where you two fled to varied wildly, but one of the leads was from a young mother at a New Castle park that swore she saw you two get out of one car and get in another, and that ten minutes later that other car was picked up by a dude in a black suit. But nobody else could corroborate her story, and she’s been discredited as a crackpot for practicing witchcraft and calling in over a dozen UFO sightings in the last 10 years,” Ben said with such a fast pace that Klaus missed at least half of it. He was too busy being flooded with dread. “She probably thought you two got abducted by the Men in Black.”

“Thank god we’re leaving tomorrow,” Klaus whispered with his hand over his eyes. “If this place gets raided by the Feds again, so many people are going to prison.”

“Wait, where are you going now?” Ben asked.

“You know I can’t tell you that, especially now that I just put so many people in danger by slipping up already,” Klaus said. He swallowed hard as he realized he really needed to end the call soon. “I gotta hang up now, Ben.”

“No! Wait, please,” Ben begged. The desperation in his tone made the pit in Klaus’ stomach double in size. 

“I’m sorry things aren’t different, Benny. I’m sorry I can’t just be a normal brother, I’m sorry I called and got your hopes up-”

“What? _No,_ Klaus please, I’m so happy you called! This can’t be the last time, though,” Ben said, and for the first time Klaus could hear the thick emotion in his voice. 

He was going to cry, which triggered Klaus to start tearing up again, too. Ben never cried when they were kids, he was almost always either calm, patient and pleasant or broody and quiet. The only time Klaus had ever seen Ben cry was… when his parents told him they were sending Klaus away. And now it was happening again, just with less blood this time. There may as well be blood though, the way Klaus calling no doubt ripped open an old wound for Ben that he thought was healed.

“I’m sorry,” Klaus whispered again as he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “It’s so good to hear your voice again, Ben. I gotta go, though.”

“Okay, I understand, but this isn’t over, Klaus. If you can, please come here, but if not, you better write to me until we can figure this out. Even if you show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night, bring your boyfriend, I don’t care. I just don’t want to lose you again.”

“You know I can’t promise you anything,” Klaus said weakly, then forced out the word he was dreading most. “Goodbye, Ben.”

“Hey. You’ve been a rule breaker your whole life. Don’t stop now when you’re this close,” Ben said. “I love you.”

“I love you,” Klaus whined with a little nod, then let the phone fall from his shoulder and swing on it’s spiral cord over the edge of the desk. Except he could still hear Ben saying his name, so he reached his arm up to the edge of the desk so he could push his fingertips down on the receiver to hang up the call. 

That was it. The last time he was ever going to speak to Ben. And he didn’t even have time to be upset about it, because he had to worry about the fact that Ben knew where he was now instead. Klaus couldn’t even follow the one rule that Luther gave him, how was he ever supposed to survive in the real world with a fake identity? He was too impulsive and outspoken, he would fuck up and blow his cover so fast. And now if Ben wanted to hurt him, he could. He could be making the call right now, and in a matter of minutes the FBI or the police could show up at Luther’s front door with a search warrant. God, what did Klaus do?

But on the other hand Klaus was absolutely sure that Ben wouldn’t do that to him. It was a gut feeling, but also, if Ben was going to rat them out, why would he give Klaus his address? Why would he beg him to come to North Carolina? Why would he keep Klaus on the phone even after he learned where they were, why would he tell Klaus he loved him? Ben was never a good liar, so if he was just bullshitting in order to get information out of him, Klaus would know. Even when they were kids Ben never snitched on him, no matter what time or state of intoxication Klaus was when he would sneak back in the house.

No, everything he could feel from Ben’s tone and words seemed to suggest he was absolutely sincere. He wanted to see Klaus again, _and_ he wanted Klaus to bring Diego, even knowing about the murders. It couldn’t happen, even though Klaus wanted to see Ben almost more than anything on Earth. Especially now that he knew Ben was never angry with him, and looked for him, and followed his story in the paper. If only he could convince Luther that Ben wasn’t a snitch, but how? Why did Allison and every staff member in the house and every doctor helping Diego get a pass? Why were they more trustworthy than Klaus’ brother? Luther could easily throw his weight around with Ben if need be, the same way he did with the Handler woman, or Grace’s sister, but Klaus didn’t even expect that to be necessary. Why did this have to be impossible? Why wasn’t he allowed to talk to his brother? There had to be a way. 

“Hey,” Diego said, startling Klaus out of his thoughts. He looked up in time to see Diego crouch down on his knees to look at Klaus crammed under the desk, concern on his face. Oh no, now he had to tell Diego that he fucked up and told Ben where they were.

“Hi. Sorry, was I taking too long?” Klaus asked, then scooted over under the desk as far as he could while Diego sat next to him. He didn’t really fit under there with him, but it was really cute that he tried anyway. It made Klaus smile and reach out to hold his hand.

“No, I just wanted to make sure you were alright. I know this wasn’t easy,” Diego said, squeezing his hand. It felt nice to be comforted, to have someone notice when things were heavy. Klaus rested his head on Diego’s shoulder and stared at their hands, trying to come up with the right words to explain what just happened. “You don’t have to tell me about it right now, but I’m listening when you’re ready to talk.”

Even after all these weeks together it still never ceased to amaze Klaus just how much empathy this man had, especially compared to the callous, ornery gangster he thought Diego was in the beginning. Maybe he had enough empathy and understanding to get why Klaus wanted to see Ben, too. Maybe he would support Klaus going to Luther and asking for an exception for Ben, maybe he would believe that this wasn’t such a crazy idea, too? Maybe this could really happen?

“Hey babe,” Klaus said after a long, comfortable silence. He waited for Diego to make a little hum of acknowledgment before picking his head up and looking in his eyes. He knew he didn’t have the right to ask this of Diego, to ask him to potentially throw away their cute, newlywed domestic future in their new apartment, but Klaus had to at least try. “How do you feel about North Carolina?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- Okay now it's officially the end!! I sincerely hope you enjoyed this story. It's been a journey for me too, I've never written anything this long or complex in my life. Thank you so much for all the time you've spent reading my silly little tale, it means so much :')
> 
> \- You get to decide the ending! Do they go against all better judgment and go see Ben? Do they stick to the plan and start their new life in Portland? It's up to you!
> 
> -Special thank you to Chelsey, my very best internet friend that I found through this fandom and helped me come up with SO many of the ideas for this fic and cheered me on and pushed me across the finish line. This story is for you ♥
> 
> \- Also because of the nature of the internet these days, I feel like I need to post a disclaimer that I obviously do not endorse/support real life murder or many of the other illegal activities in this work of fiction. Please don't shape your morality around the fiction you read, including this :)
> 
> -Don't forget to check out the art! If you want to ask me anything you can contact me @cultleaderklaus or @lawlesslovers on tumblr! Thank you again. You're all amazing ♥♥♥ 
> 
> \- Oh!!!!! Also, one of my lovely readers has made more art for the story over on their instagram account! (https://www.instagram.com/p/CKz_aGcsxFc/?igshid=1looddozc3io2) ☺
> 
> -P.S. If anyone wants to write their own sequel or spin off of this story, you have my full permission! Just link me so I can see it :D


End file.
